


In the Dead of Night

by Stargazer_01



Series: In the Dead of Night - Bellamione Series [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Angst, Animagus, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Ron Weasley, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Christmas, Discord: Bellamione Cult, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/F, Finger Sucking, Fingerfucking, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Ginny Weasley is a Good Friend, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Hospital Wing, Lesbian Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Lesbian Sex, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, New Year's Eve, New Year's Fluff, New Year's Kiss, Oh my God they held hands, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Hermione Granger, Post-War, Ron Weasley Bashing, Sane Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Scars, Slow Burn, Snowball Fight, Teacher-Student Relationship, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:48:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 50
Words: 179,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22228153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stargazer_01/pseuds/Stargazer_01
Summary: Hermione discovers something about her professor that leads her to go knocking on her door, late at night.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger & Andromeda Black Tonks, Hermione Granger & Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger & Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood
Series: In the Dead of Night - Bellamione Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2072205
Comments: 1927
Kudos: 3345
Collections: Bellamione





	1. A Late Night Visit

**Author's Note:**

> My first attempt at some Bellamione, just a short one to test myself. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Update: Yeah... so this is totally not a short one.

Every part of Hermione's logical brain was telling her that this was a bad idea.

Her heart was pounding as her feet drove her through the corridor, the candles flickering as she passed by. Everyone was in bed. The castle was silent save for the distant sound of the staircases moving. The role of Head Girl came with certain privileges, but she was almost positive that they didn't extend to what she was planning. But she had to know...

The sound of her knuckles rapping on the dark wood door echoed through the stillness in the corridor. She paused, suddenly overwhelmed with a desire to flee. Before she could convince her legs to move again, the door opened.

"Granger. What are you doing out of bed?"

_The same day, early morning_

_Hermione couldn't sleep. Something was running wild in her brain and she couldn't quite catch it. It was frustrating her and making it impossible for her to rest in her bed. With a frustrated huff, she swung her legs out of bed and stood up. Quickly changing in to jeans and a jumper, she padded down the stairs and in to the common room. The fire had died out and it was too early for it to be lit again and the room was empty. Hermione debated staying there and waiting for the House Elves to appear but she decided against it. She needed fresh air; that would help._

_Seemingly the only one awake, she went silently down the stairs which thankfully didn't move. She didn't trust her balance in her tired state. The door made too much noise as she opened and closed it, but then she was outside. She inhaled cool, crisp dawn air and her shoulders relaxed. There was a mist across the grounds and the sun spread pastel pinks and oranges across the edge of the sky. Everything seemed to be enchanted, still and undisturbed._

_Her walk took her down towards the Black Lake; it was too cold to sit there but she wandered along the edge, staring in to the depths and wondering if the creatures were swimming alongside her, just out of sight. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't realise she had circled the entire lake and was almost to Hagrid's Hut, until the snap of a twig brought her out of her thoughts._

_Immediately she glanced towards the forest, eyes searching for something in the darkness, waiting to pounce on a distracted Gryffindor. Nothing appeared, no glowing eyes watched her. She slid her wand from her sleeve and waited, but after a few moments decided that she was safe. She began to walk again but then came another snapping sound, followed by the sounds of something moving in her direction. She moved quickly, slipping behind the trees by the lake and keeping her wand at the ready._

_Then she saw it._

_A huge black wolf appeared out of the woods. Hermione held back a gasp, her mouth dry and eyes wide. The creature looked around, panting. For a moment, Hermione was sure the creature's eyes had paused on her, but then it continued to scan the grounds. Seemingly satisfied, it began to limp forward. Hermione frowned. As the wolf passed her and she held her breath, she noticed that blood was dripping from it's shoulder, where it seemed that two large gashes had been ripped._

_The wolf paused at the edge of the lake and then..._

_Hermione couldn't control the gasp that escaped as the wolf changed. The fur melted away, the body twisted and suddenly, kneeling by the lake was a woman. Not just any woman, Hermione realised._

_Professor Black._

_The witch's wand appeared and with a groan that Hermione could hear across the still grounds, she began to heal herself. Rips across that pale skin, that Hermione had always found herself strangely distracted by, knitted themselves back together. So focused on the scene in front of her, the young witch forgot that she was now exposed, that all her professor would have to do to see her would be to turn around. She heard the relieved sigh that left the older witch, saw her stand and roll her shoulders, testing where the injury had been. Seemingly satisfied, the dark woman began to stride towards the castle, as if she had just been for a simple morning walk._

_Hermione let out a breath she didn't realise she'd been holding when the woman was a decent distance away._

_What was that? She was sure that her professor hadn't been on the list of registered animagi that she'd looked through during her research on the subject for class. And what had happened to her? What kind of attacker could keep up with Professor Black as a wolf?_

Professor Black was raised an eyebrow as Hermione stared at her, no words forming at the sight of her professor in a black silk night robe with velvet trim. The hint of a smirk twitched on the older woman's lips as Hermione gulped and struggled to keep her eyes in appropriate places, instead of the v-shaped neckline that seemed to go too low to be appropriate. Her hair was falling around her in black ringlets and her nails tapped against the door as she waited for a response. 

"I- I had a... question." Hermione managed to stutter. 

"Something that couldn't wait until class?"

"Uh... it's not really... it's not an academic question, Professor." 

"I wasn't aware that you were able to ask questions of any other kind, Granger." Hermione felt a shiver run down her spine at her professor's teasing tone. "And one that has you risking detention for being out of bed... I can't say I'm not intrigued."

"Professor-"

"Yes, yes, alright, I can see that you're bursting with whatever is on your mind. I suppose you can come in, but if you tell any of your little friends that I allowed it you will not have another day without detention in your time at this school, do we have an understanding?" The woman's eyes were dark as her tone and Hermione nodded urgently. The door opened wider and she slipped inside. 

Hermione gazed around her, taking in the room which was cosier than she'd expected from her professor. A fire was going and a large green velvet sofa and chair set surrounded it and bookcases lined the walls which made her fingers twitch with the urge to explore them. A small kitchen was tucked away to her right and there were two other doors that Hermione immediately decided not to think too much about. Her professor was an accomplished legilimens and it was suspected by her students that she sometimes bent the rules and went exploring; the last thing the young witch wanted was to be caught thinking about her professor's bedroom. 

The older witch passed by Hermione, whose eyes were drawn to the woman as she headed towards the fire. Black by name, black by nature; the woman was famed for her skills in magic, including the dark arts. Magic seemed to cling to her like the robe she wore and Hermione had more than once been able to sense her before she entered a room because of the power she exuded. She'd mentioned this to her friends but they had all denied being able to do the same and then teased her about her 'crush' on the woman. Because it was true, Hermione had never been able to quite understand why she was so drawn to the older woman, but she had realised in the last year that although she was intent on devouring all the knowledge the woman could impart, she had also imagined devouring her in quite a different way.

Hermione started when she realised she had been lost in thought and that her professor was currently sitting on one of the green chairs by the fire, smirking at her. 

_Crap._

She hurried forward, pausing, unsure whether to sit or not. After a painful moment of indecision and her professor offering no help other than for her smirk to get bigger, Hermione perched on the sofa, twisting her hands nervously. 

"So, Miss Granger. Brightest witch of her age, know-it-all, golden trio member, come to my room with a question. I'm honoured." Black's words made her stomach twist and not in a wholly unpleasant way. She fidgeted again. "Come now, you're not normally this dull, Granger. Where are those sharp responses I'm used to?" The woman leaned forward and Hermione's heart thudded loudly as her eyes darted down to that v of perfect, pale skin, breasts pressed by the position she was in. 

_She's my professor, she's a wolf, have I gone mad?_

"I..." Hermione dragged her eyes back to Black's and took a steadying breath. "I went for a walk this morning."

Dark eyes rolled and her professor snorted. 

"Fascinating. Here was me thinking that you might have something interesting to say." Her hand stretched out and she plucked a glass from the table next to her. Hermione recognised a bottle of firewhiskey which was open and half full. The glass was almost empty. 

"Are you drunk?" She asked before she could stop herself. Black paused, the glass almost at her lips and levelled Hermione with a stare that would have made fifth years wet themselves. Hermione's reaction was a little less innocent, a discovery that she tried to ignore even as it rushed through her. 

"Oh, how terribly rude of me to drink in my own room. On a Friday night no less." Black's voice had become like velvet and Hermione's heart rate picked up. _You've seen this woman as a wolf, she could kill you._ "What would McGonagall say?"

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Save your apologies, Granger. Get out." Black finished off the glass and put it down on the table. 

"Professor-"

"Are you deaf, suddenly? Get out. I won't ask again."

Hermione stood up, feeling frustrated. She needed to get a hold of herself. She'd managed to piss Black off within minutes of walking in the room and she'd spent most of that time staring at her. 

"You don't have to be so-"

Black stood up, so fast Hermione couldn't finish before she was in her face. She could feel her breath on her face, smell a mixture of firewhiskey, smoke and sandalwood and could barely breathe as they stood only inches apart. 

"Finish the sentence, Granger. I dare you." 

Hermione stood her ground, willing herself not to look at the soft, red lips that were so close...

"How's your shoulder?" 

The older woman blinked and frowned. 

"What?"

"I said, how's your-"

"Yes, I heard what you said," she snapped. "Why do you ask?"

"I went for a walk this morning. Early."

She watched as clarity flitted across the woman's face. 

"Spying on me, Granger?" Her head tilted and she got impossibly closer. "Still suspicious after the war?"

Hermione flashed back to the day she had begged Dumbledore to remove Black from the school, sure that she was working for the Dark Lord. She had drawn her wand when Black emerged from the shadows, smirking, only for Dumbledore to protect her. It had taken him showing her the memories of Bellatrix offering herself as a spy, to pretend to be spying on Dumbledore for the Dark Lord, for her to put her wand away. Black had brought it up whenever she could since. 

"No. I couldn't sleep."

"Seems to be a habit for you." Black's eyes wandered across Hermione's face, who suddenly felt very warm. "So you saw me."

It wasn't a question, but she answered anyway.

"Yes."

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't obliviate you and forget the whole matter." 

"I... I haven't told anyone."

Black let out a dry chuckle and the sound made Hermione's stomach twist again. 

"And why is that, pet?" Hermione's intake of breath seemed to catch her professor's attention and she smirked. "Oh, I see."

"No - I -what? I wanted to ask... I want to learn. I want to be an animagus."

"Is that right, pet?" Hermione's breath caught again and Black smiled like she'd just won a victory. "Very few people master the skill required. I'm not sure you're ready."

Anger flared inside the younger witch. 

"I'm ready."

"Ah, there's that Gryffindor courage. Where was that when you walked in?"

"Maybe I just needed a Slytherin to get in my face." Hermione retorted. 

Black hummed, smirking. 

"That's not all you wanted me to do."

Hermione's brain stopped working. Panic set in as her mouth tried to form words but nothing came out. _Did she read my mind? When she said pet... I..._

"Don't worry, _pet,"_ Black grinned, teasingly. She was so close, Hermione would only have to lean and their lips would meet... "You might be older than the other students, with your year out and your adventures with that time turner, but you're still my student. I have some restraint, even if you don't."

Hermione let out a strangled noise of protest, but whether she was protesting the comment or the idea of her professor showing restraint, she didn't know. 

"I'll teach you how to become an animagus, but whether you can do it is up to you." Black said, stepping away suddenly and smoothing down her robe. "Now let me enjoy my whiskey in peace."

Hermione's brain still wasn't firing on all cylinders, but she managed to stumble towards the door. She paused when her professor cleared her throat. 

"Granger?" She looked back at the witch sitting by the fire, pouring another fire whiskey. "Try to keep those thoughts in check, won't you? There are other professors in this school who are good at legilimens, and I'd hate for them to hear your thoughts about what you want me to do to you."

Hermione fled the room, Black's cackles echoing behind her. 

_I'm so screwed._

_You wish, Granger._


	2. Plans to visit Hogsmeade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione's thoughts are distracting her so Ginny decides that a trip to Hogsmeade is in order. But first... a little Elvish wine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had such a wonderful response to the first chapter (thank you all, you're wonderful) that I have decided to continue with the story. Who knows how long it'll be; hopefully you'll enjoy it. Special thank you to the Discord: Bellamione Cult who have made me feel so at home; I've been on there for under a month and I feel so welcome.  
> This chapter is quite long; I hope you enjoy it.

"Hermione? Hermione are you listening to me?" 

Ginny was waving at her from the sofa opposite, frowning. 

"Sorry Gin - what were you saying?"

"You've been weird all day 'Mione; is something wrong?"

"No... nothing's wrong." Hermione waved off her friend as she opened her mouth to protest. "I just haven't been sleeping."

"Oh... yeah I get that." Ginny slumped a little. "I have the dreams too."

Hermione instantly felt bad. The times that Ginny and her had stayed up after the war, huddled together, knowing that when they eventually drifted to sleep one would most likely wake the other with a nightmare. She still had them, but her recent lack of sleep had nothing to do with memories of war and friends lost and everything to do with dark eyes and red lips...

"Hey, you've gone again..." Ginny nudged her with her foot. 

"Sorry." Hermione shook herself and focused. "What were you saying before?"

"I was asking if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure Gin, that sounds great actually." Hermione smiled. Ginny returned it and stood up. 

"Great. Time for dinner; are you coming?"

Hermione followed Ginny through the castle, her mind preoccupied. After two nights without much sleep, she was seriously struggling. At least she hadn't had classes today and so her lack of functioning brain hadn't had too much impact. She was ahead with her essays as usual and the only thing that had really been able to keep her attention all day was when she dug out her old essay and reading material on Animagi. She remembered it all but poured over it anyway, determined to be prepared. The process was complicated, took time and she could do it without help if she really wanted to but she didn't. The risk was too high and without her friends beside her, Hermione was feeling distinctly less brave about putting her life at risk these days. Perhaps it the impact of the war, the intense realisation of just how precious life is... she felt a curious amount of comfort at the idea of her professor helping her. 

" _Granger._ " 

She stopped in her tracks, frozen at the voice that had interrupted her thoughts. They were just outside the Great Hall and Ginny was staring at her, hand on the door latch. 

"Hermione? You alright? You look like you did when Nearly Headless Nick did his 'Whip my head back and forth' performance." Ginny's lips twitched in to a smirk as she tried to hold back her laughter. Hermione had excused herself from that performance for some air, not sure if she felt sick from laughing or from watching the ghost swing his head... _Nope, no, definitely sick_. 

"Yeah, I erm... I think I'm just hungry." 

"Come on then." Ginny opened the door to the hall. Hermione shook her head and followed her inside. Now she was hallucinating. Great. 

Teachers rarely ate in the Great Hall on weekends; just one or two that would keep an eye on the students. Flitwick and McGonagall were the most common, Sprout another. Some teachers were never seen; Black for example. Hermione's eyes still glanced up and scanned the table. She wasn't sure if she was hoping to see her or praying that she hadn't suddenly decided to frequent the hall. 

Nothing. Sprout and McGonagall were in the middle of what seemed to be a heated debate but the rest of the table remained empty. 

Hermione relaxed and slipped on to the bench next to Ginny. Neville shot her a smile from across the table where he sat with Luna, who was leaning on his shoulder. The two of them were so sweetly in love that Hermione struggled to be around them for too long sometimes. It just reminded her of how brilliantly her and Ron had failed at trying to make their relationship work. 

It didn't help that they had broken up after an argument caused by him trying to distract her while she was doing an essay for Professor Black... Hermione shook her head. No. Enough of this. 

"So, Ginny and I are going to Hogmeade tomorrow; are you both in?"

"Yeah, sounds good right Luna?"

"Yes." Luna replied in her dreamy tone, absently staring at Hermione. "Hermione, are you alright?"

"I'm fine Luna, just tired."

"You have a lot of Nargles around you today..."

The four of them ate their dinner, planning what they would do the next day in Hogsmeade. Hermione tried to ignore when Luna's eyes would slip to the supposed Nargles around her, but it was quite distracting. She was relieved when they all parted ways and headed towards the common room again. 

"So Luna..." Ginny started and Hermione glanced at her. "What? She said there were a lot of Nargles around your head. She's usually surprisingly right." 

"Well, maybe if they'd get out of my head I'd be able to sleep." Hermione shrugged it off. Ginny pursed her lips but let it go for the moment. 

"Want to come to the dorm and drink some of the elvish wine I slipped past Filch?" She asked instead. Hermione raised her eyebrow and pointed to her Head Girl badge with a smirk. "Oh come on Hermione, you're not going to confiscate it?"

"No. Just... try not to get too drunk will you?" She chuckled. 

"You know what would help with that? If you joined me."

"Ginny, I'm no good on wine you know that..."

"It might help you sleep?"

Hermione paused. Elvish wine did usually make her sleep so deeply that Ginny had once thought she was in a coma. 

"Fine."

They giggled on their way upstairs and Ginny fetched the wine, taking it in to Hermione's private room. They poured out two glasses and made a silent toast, before taking a sip. 

"Oooh, I love this stuff," Ginny grinned. "So, what should we talk about? Love?"

"I don't want to hear about you and Harry and your attempts to be discreet Gin." Hermione snorted, remembering the time that Ron had accidentally walked in on the two of them during the summer holidays before they returned to school. She'd never seen him so red in his life and hadn't stopped laughing at him. That had been about two weeks before she and Ron had broken up. 

"Alright, what about you? Anyone on the horizon?" 

Hermione took another sip of the wine, shoving thoughts of onyx eyes and red lips to the back of her brain. 

"No."

"You're lying!" Ginny gasped, sitting up and almost spilling some of her wine. "Who is it? What's his name?"

"No one, there isn't anyone I just... It's awkward. Ron's your brother-"

"Oh pfft, who cares? You two were never going to work Hermione, I knew that. He's my brother and I love him but come on. You're... you." She giggled and took a gulp of wine. 

"And you're tipsy already." Hermione laughed. 

"Why aren't you?" Ginny laughed, motioning to Hermione's glass. 

Rolling her eyes, Hermione took two large gulps. 

"When I finish this glass, I'm going to bed. You know that right?" She laughed, looking at the almost empty glass. 

"You, are a spoilsport." Ginny giggled and poured some more wine in to her own glass. "Damn it 'Mione, we need to find you a hot date."

"Why?" Hermione shrugged. 

"For the winter ball?" 

"What winter ball?" Hermione frowned, still staring in to her glass, not really paying attention. 

"Hermione... McGonagall told everyone on the first day back that there'd be a ball before winter break because we are all in need of celebration. It's going to be a tradition. You really weren't listening?"

"Oh... yeah. Sorry Ginny. I think the wine's gone straight to my head."

"That's just because you've not drunk enough." Ginny giggled, tilting her glass towards her. Hermione rolled her eyes and finished the glass. 

"Yeah well now I'm going to bed." She put the glass down and smiled at Ginny's groan of complaint. "You want me to be awake for Hogsmeade tomorrow right?" 

"Yes," Ginny pouted. 

"Goodnight then." She kissed her friend on the head and ushered her out of her room. 

*** 

Hermione had slept. Better than she had the previous two evenings. Her dreams were plagued by a big, black wolf stalking her through the forest and the scent of pine, smoke and sandalwood, red lips and impossibly dark eyes. 

She mused over her dreams while she got ready and the excitable chatter from Ginny as they headed down for breakfast distracted her from her thoughts. 

Luna and Neville joined them and they began to head to Hogsmeade, laughing and talking. The air was chilled and the crisp autumn leaves crunched under their feet. Hermione couldn't wait to see Christmas at Hogwarts. It would be the first Christmas in a long time where she wouldn't feel the impending doom that had filled so many of her years at Hogwarts. 

"Three Broomsticks?" Ginny asked as they reached the village. 

"We just had breakfast." Hermione rolled her eyes. 

"We're only young once." 

Hermione laughed and shook her head. 

"I'm going to look for some books. I'll meet you in there in half an hour?"

"Fine," Ginny huffed, smiling. "You'll be ok?"

"Yeah, I'll be great." Hermione reassured them. "Go."

They headed off in the direction of Zonko's Joke Shop and Hermione slipped off to one of the smaller, less visited bookshops in the village.

She had spent many hours here, perusing the shelves and the owner was happy to leave her to it. It was the quietest her mind had been in days; her fingers trailing over the spines of the books that contained everything from simple charms to keep the home tidy, to dark magic for the accomplished witch or wizard. She was so lost in her exploration that she almost didn't stop her wandering when she heard a whispered hiss from the other side of the shelf. 

" _You know why."_

Hermione's breath caught. 

"I don't know, Bella. I assume you have some sort of death wish?!"

"Andy-"

"Don't, Bella, I -"

"-Shhh. Someone is here." 

Hermione froze. Unwillingly. 

Around the corner appeared two figures in black cloaks. She recognised them both immediately. 

"Hermione?" Andy's eyes were wide but kind and she smiled. "It's been so long."

Hermione's eyes were stuck on Bellatrix Black, holding her wand out, her hair partially covered by the hood of her cloak. She was studying the young witch with an expression that Hermione couldn't quite understand. 

"Bella, let her go. Poor girl was just looking for some books."

"Miss Granger has a habit of sneaking around these days, Andy." 

"Bella, behave!" Andy scolded and her sister rolled her eyes, but released Hermione. 

"I was just looking for some books; no need to hex me!" Hermione huffed. She watched her Professor's lips twitch slightly before they were pulled in to a disapproving frown. 

"You are developing a dangerous habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, Granger. I had thought that after the war that might stop." 

"Well I guess you don't know me very well."

Andy was looking back and forth between the two as they stared each other down with an amused smirk. 

"Well... this has been fun. Hermione, always good to see you. Bella, remember that invitation to join us for Christmas still stands." She sent Hermione a wink. "Everyone's going, right, Hermione?" The Weasley's and Andy had decided that they should join up for Christmas, so of course Harry and Hermione were invited too. 

"Christmas with my students? I'm sure I've got better offers." Bellatrix scoffed. 

"Don't be such a Grinch, Bella." Andy rolled her eyes and Hermione snorted, holding in a giggle. "I'll see you soon. We'll finish that conversation." She gave her sister a meaningful look and then smiled at Hermione again, heading past her towards the door. 

Hermione watched her go and then looked back at her professor, who was still studying her. Rolling her eyes, Hermione turned back to the bookshelf and pretended to ignore her. A few minutes passed and Hermione had had just about enough of the stare burning in to her. It was doing things to her that she really couldn't, shouldn't and wouldn't explain to herself right now. She turned to face her professor again. 

"Can I help you, Professor?" She could hear a strain in her voice that she wished wasn't there, but she stood her ground when the other woman stared her down. 

After a moment, the dark haired witch let out a frustrated huff and asked the question on her mind.

"What's a Grinch?"

Hermione blinked. 

"What?"

The older woman gritted her teeth. 

"You heard me, Granger. What is a Grinch?"

Hermione laughed. She couldn't help it. Seeing her professor so puzzled, trying desperately to ask nicely, it was so oddly endearing. 

The sudden closeness of their faces when Bellatrix moved close, glaring, was not. In fact, it was so distracting she immediately stopped laughing and gulped. 

"I don't like people laughing at me, Granger." She hissed. 

"I - I'm not." Hermione cleared her throat and then straightened her back. "The Grinch is a book and film for Muggles. It's about this character, the Grinch, who lives all alone at the top of a mountain and hates when all the village below have a happy Christmas, so he steals it. Ruins it for everyone."

Bellatrix's eyes seemed to grow darker, but Hermione saw the flash of hurt behind them. 

"Well then, I had better stay away. Wouldn't want anyone's Christmas ruined, would we?" She snapped and turned to leave. Without thinking, Hermione caught the witch's cloak, halting her progress. Bellatrix turned, surprised, and glared at the offending hand. 

"Your sister was asking you to come. She meant that, without you there, her Christmas would be ruined." Hermione tumbled over her words a little in her haste to fix the situation. "In the end, the Grinch saves Christmas, makes a friend, gets the girl; everything."

Bellatrix studied her again, until Hermione realised she was still holding on to her sleeve. She released it and that seemed to snap Bellatrix out of it. 

"Well..." The older witch cleared her throat. "Sounds like a typical muggle film; completely unrealistic."

"Maybe. But it's still one of my favourite Christmas films." Hermione shrugged as Bellatrix stared her down, not sure why she'd shared the information. She glanced down at the books she'd selected to buy. When she looked back up, she was standing alone in the shelves. 

Hermione let out an exhale. 

"Fuck... that woman is complicated." She muttered to herself as she headed to the desk to pay for the books. 

Stepping outside the shop she glanced around to see if she could spy the witch but to no avail, so she turned and headed towards the Three Broomsticks to meet her friends, a little later than intended. 


	3. Brightest Witch of your age.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Professor Black has a surprise in store for Hermione...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all are giving me such life. It's been a long time since I've written anything before this story, so it's really a bit of a struggle for me to write, but you are all being so wonderfully supportive. Thank you for your comments; they keep me going. Especially when you tell me which bits were your favourites - it means I can add more of those moments!

Hermione was beginning to think this was all some elaborate plot to make her lose her mind.

Not only was Professor Black haunting her dreams, or nightmares - she hadn't quite worked out which they were yet - but she was haunting her waking hours as well. No sooner had Hermione eaten her breakfast on Monday morning, but a raven appeared amidst the flurry of owls and dropped an envelope in front of her with a black seal on it. She broke it, under the curious eyes of Ginny and read the note that slipped from it. 

_Tonight, 9pm. Don't be late. B_

Hermione stared at the parchment. She hadn't thought they would start this soon but it looked as though her Professor was ready to begin the process of her becoming an animagi. That had to be what this was about. She felt nerves burst in her stomach, making her shift in her seat. _Don't be late where?_ Then, her eyes slid up to the top table. She had seen Black up there when she came in, ignored her purposefully, but now... 

Professor Black was in conversation with the Headmistress. She was jabbing her finger in to the table to make a point and just at that moment she looked over at Hermione. Onyx eyes, staring straight in to her soul, catching her in the act. A flicker of a smirk flitted across Black's face when Hermione's hand tightened reflexively on the parchment she held, before she turned back to her conversation with Minerva McGonagall, as if nothing had happened. Hermione sucked in a deep breath and turned back to the letter, only to find Ginny staring at her with a raised eyebrow. 

"Why is Professor Black sending you notes?"

"Erm..." Hermione glanced down at the note and frowned. She couldn't really tell Ginny what was going on, could she? Besides, that might lead to talking about the way she felt when she was around Black, and she wasn't sure she wanted to study that in great detail right now. "She wants me to do some extra work; says it will help me get whatever job I want. She's telling me when our first class begins."

"Hermione, don't you think you've got enough on your resume at this point?" Ginny laughed. "If your scores don't get you a job, your reputation will. I mean, look at Harry and Ron. They didn't even have to finish school."

Hermione shrugged and looked down at her empty bowl. 

"I just don't want to miss out on any 'normal' experiences, you know?"

Ginny looked sympathetic and whatever argument she'd been about to continue seemed to die. 

"Yeah... sorry Hermione, I wasn't thinking. I'm just surprised you want to spend any more time with her. I mean, she's kind of a... bitch." Hermione almost spat the pumpkin juice she'd been taking a sip of out and her look of surprise made Ginny smile. "What? She is!"

Hermione glanced up to the top table and almost choked again. Professor Black was looking right at them, her eyebrow raised, a dangerous smirk playing on her lips. Ginny, following Hermione's eyes, gulped. 

"Shit. She can't have heard me, right?" She whispered, horrified. The last time they had seen their professor give that look, it had been directed at Seamus Finnigan, who had spent his following detention helping Hagrid to give Fluffy a bath. It turned out the reason the three-headed dog had needed one was because he had gotten ill and each head was taking turns throwing up. Seamus had stunk for weeks and every time he walked in to Defence Against the Dark Arts, Black would smirk and tell him that he really ought to 'clean up his act'. 

Hermione watched as Black stood from her chair and left the hall through one of the doors behind the top table. She heard Ginny breathe a sigh of relief. 

"I'm telling you that woman reads minds. There's no other explanation. I don't know how she's been getting away with it for so long."

"Maybe she's just got incredible hearing," Hermione shrugged, although her mind was elsewhere. Did she believe that? That Black was just good at reading people, had great hearing...? Not really. 

"I swear, I'm not getting detention for calling her a bitch just because she's got super hearing or whatever." Ginny snorted as she stood off the bench. 

"You know you could probably manage to avoid that if you stopped calling her a bitch." Hermione pursed her lips as she got up, following Ginny out of the hall. 

"Probably," Ginny laughed. "But where's the fun in that?" 

Chuckling, the two friends headed towards their first class for the day. 

Hermione hadn't seen her Professor all day to ask where she was supposed to meet her. _When did she start thinking of Black as 'her Professor'?_ Now she was sitting in the library at half past eight, waiting... she had decided that there were only two possible options. One, the one she didn't really want to think about, was that her Professor meant that they would meet in her rooms again. That was... distracting. The other was that they would meet where Hermione had seen Black transform from wolf to woman. She wasn't sure which sounded more dangerous; being alone with the woman in her rooms or being alone with her where she could easily dispose of Hermione's body... 

She shook herself and glanced at her watch. Fifteen minutes. She had to make her decision. 

Getting up and putting the books away, Hermione headed out of the library, waving goodbye to Madam Pince on her way. She headed through the corridors until she reached the front door and slipped out. It had to be the edge of the forest. It had to be. 

The night was cool, not uncomfortably so, and she could see a fog gathering over the Black lake. There didn't seem to be anyone around. Hermione worried her lip as she glanced down at her watch. She still had a few more minutes but if she was wrong, she was screwed. She had the feeling Black would use tardiness as an excuse to end this before it began. Claim that she wasn't committed enough, or something along those lines. She stared down in to the Black lake, lost in thought. _What would my animagus form be?_

Hot breath puffed against her hand and she froze, feeling a cold, wet nose nudge against her fingertips. She jumped, her heart hammering, as a growl erupted from the muzzle and she span around, only to be confronted by a black wolf. 

"Shit - Professor... don't do that." 

The wolf gave what could only be a smug grin and then turned away, trotting off towards the Forbidden Forest. Hermione followed, her heart still hammering in her chest. She had been right. 

In the darkness of the trees, she struggled to see the wolf and at one point she lost her completely. 

"Professor... where are we going?" She panted after almost tripping over a tree root. She looked up and found herself alone. "Damn it." She drew her wand and murmured 'lumos'. 

The light seemed to get swallowed by the darkness around her, only lighting the nearest trees. Maybe this had been Black's plan. Lure her in to the trees and leave her lost in the forest to teach her a lesson about interrupting her evenings, or commenting on her drinking... or spying on her... or staring inappropriately and letting her mind wander... _God I've managed to do a lot in four days that might deserve this from her perspective._

"Mandrake Leaf." The murmur came, inches from her ear. Hermione whirled around, dropping her wand, heart leaping out of her chest and Professor Black cackled. 

"What the - are you _trying_ to give me a heart attack?!" Hermione glared as Black continued to look smug. 

"Well I had thought that a member of the Golden Trio might be a little bit more aware of her surroundings," Black purred, sauntering towards her. "But maybe you were lost in that brain of yours again, hmm, Granger? What could possibly have been so distracting that you didn't notice me?"

Hermione was too annoyed to blush and simply picked up her wand from where it had fallen on the floor. 

"I had thought I'd be doing something a little different with my evening than playing hide and seek with a wolf."

"Quite right, Granger." Black's smirk grew wider and Hermione's stomach plummeted. _Now what?_ "We're going to play a different type of game." The older woman withdrew a vial from in her corset, which made Hermione blink and clear her throat. "Mandrake Leaf. To become an animagus, the first step is to hold one of these under your tongue for a month. You can't swallow or remove it. But you know this."

Hermione nodded and stepped forward, reaching out her hand. Black shook her head, still grinning. 

"Ah, ah, I never said it would be that simple, pet. You're the brightest witch of your age, apparently, but book smarts and street smarts are different things. You've just been through the battle of your life and you're still in school, learning. Potter and Weasley are out in the world but you're still here. Why?"

"I just wanted to finish school. Have the normal experience that everyone is supposed to, for one year at least."

Black scowled and rolled her eyes. 

"Normal. Who wants to be normal? Be extraordinary." Hermione didn't respond. "That's what we're going to do. If you want this, you're going to have to work for it. I want to see you reach your potential and that does not just exist in the classroom. You're better than those two idiots you call friends and yet you sit in the shadows. They wouldn't be alive today without you."

"Don't talk about them like that!" Hermione snapped. 

"I'll talk about them how I like, Granger." Black replied, twirling the vial around and watching Hermione with eagle eyes. "And you won't get this leaf, or the other ingredients, unless you show me how extraordinary you really are." 

"What are you talking about?" Hermione huffed, frustrated. Maybe she should have just done this by herself. "I could go and get a Mandrake leaf without your help."

"You could. But the other ingredients? A silver teaspoon for dew collected from a place that neither sunlight nor human feet have touched for a week? A chrysalis of a Death’s Head moth in a moon-struck crystal phial?"

"If I'd have known you were going to be such a..."

"Bitch?" Black raised her eyebrow, a smug smile on her face. "What? Would you not have asked me for help? This is going to be good for you, Granger."

"I don't even know what 'this' is."

"You can have this mandrake leaf, if..." she slipped it back in to her corset. "You can disarm me." 

Hermione's brain stopped. 

"Erm... what?"

"Quite frankly dear, it's starting to sound like you're not worthy of the title 'brightest witch'. I had it when I was your age; best me and you can have all the ingredients and help that you desire."

"You want me to duel you?"

"I want you to get out of the bookworm shell and start taking charge of your power." Black raised her wand. "Ready?"

"Now?!" Hermione cried, raising her wand. 

Black rolled her eyes and started prowling to the right. 

"Come on, Granger, don't be scared."

Hermione gritted her teeth. Why was this woman so infuriating? 

"I'm not scared."

"Prove it." 


	4. You can do better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little duel, a little talk, a little flirting...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some Ron bashing in this, be warned. Since the last chapter was a little short I've done another update for you all. Hope you like it! There's some flirting in this and a bit of conversation where they don't have an argument... for a little while anyway.

Hermione was the first to cast a spell. She hadn't really wanted to but Black's goading had made her angry. She hadn't felt this charged since the war. 

Black had batted it to the side with barely a movement, looking decidedly unimpressed. 

"You can do better than that, Granger." She was looking at Hermione with a predatory smirk, goading her, stepping carefully, gracefully around the space between the trees, while Hermione tried to mirror her. She only ended up feeling as though she were backing away, retreating. She fired a series of spells, one after the other, varying in complexity and strength. Black didn't even flinch. Her wand was controlled, she wasted no energy in repelling Hermione and this time, sent a spell flying back, which Hermione deflected. 

"This is pitiful." Hermione gritted her teeth and began an onslaught in response, firing spell after spell, deflecting those that Black returned and stepping forward, trying to push her back. Black just grinned. "Better, Granger, better!" Hermione felt a momentarily relief before her professor added, "You can do better!"

Hermione was sweating. Black had begun to fire rapidly and Hermione had to concentrate on deflecting, leaving her very little concentration for her spells to return. She could see her opponent rolling her eyes when she almost didn't catch a hex or stepping forward when Hermione stepped back. Very soon, Hermione would have to give in. She wasn't prepared for this. Fighting one of the most legendary duellers of their time, a woman who Voldermort had tried to recruit more than once to his cause, was not how she had expected to spend her evening. The fact was frustrating; she didn't understand why the woman even wanted this. Black was better than her, of course. She had years of experience, of duelling, of battle, on Hermione and everything that she did was just... better. _Damn it._

Hermione stumbled over a root and Black let out an exasperated huff of breath. Hermione shot her a glare. 

"So now you're mad I almost twisted my ankle?" She shot a strong hex at Black, who threw up a shield and laughed. 

"You should be aware of your surroundings! If you're not, anything could take you by surprise or distract you." To prove her point, she shot a barrage of hexes at Hermione from different directions, forcing the girl to step back and trip over the root. She went sprawling and before she could collect herself, Black was standing over her. "Use your surroundings; don't block them out." 

Hermione glared up at her. 

"Why are you doing this? Do you miss the war or something? Wanted to prove you've still got it?" Hermione snapped, grabbing her wand and scrambling to get up. 

Black sneered at her. 

"Please, like I'd need to duel you to prove that. You're weak."

"I am. Not. Weak." She shot a couple of spells off and Black took a step back and countered them, still sneering. 

"Then why am I not even having to try, Granger?"

"Fuck you." She spat, shooting another spell at Black. 

"Let's not talk about your fantasies right now, pet." 

"I don't fucking fantasise about you, Black!" Hermione shot three spells in quick succession and then enchanted the roots near the older woman to twist around her ankles, pulling her. Cursing, the older woman looked down and started kicking and muttering a spell to release her and Hermione took her chance, shooting _Petrificus Totalus_ at the witch. She went crashing down and when Hermione ran over, victorious, she found the woman glaring up at her from the floor. "You were saying?" 

She knelt down and then paused, realising that to retrieve the vial with the leaves in it she'd have to go rummaging in Black's corset. Her cheeks flushed and Black's eyes flashed from where she lay. 

"I'm going to release you, but only so you can give me the vial. Otherwise I'd be tempted to leave you here and fuck the consequences." She released Black and the first thing the woman did was smirk. 

"Such language, Granger. I'd never have expected the bookworm to have such a filthy mouth." Hermione went bright red but held out her hand, expecting the vial. "Couldn't fetch it yourself?" 

"I'm not rummaging around in there; might lose a hand." Hermione shot back. "Besides, I actually have respect for women and I don't want you thinking I'm trying to cop a feel, since you seem to think I fancy you."

"You do 'fancy' me, Granger. No need to be so embarrassed, who wouldn't?" She smirked as she sat up, now face to face with Hermione. "I mean, look at me."

"I - Just give me the vial, Black."

"You know how I know that you want me?"

"Because you're a nosy witch who snoops around in peoples' heads?" Hermione growled, trying to keep her mind blank. Her Professor scoffed and moved closer, making Hermione still as she felt the older woman's breath tickle her skin. 

"I don't need to use Legilimens on you, pet." Black locked her eyes on Hermione's, her tongue flicking out to wet her own lips and taking in when Hermione followed it's trail. "You're far too obvious. Watching me with needy little eyes, biting your lip when you watch me move and think I can't see, coming to my chambers at night to catch me in my robe-"

"I - I didn't know you'd be in your robe. I just wanted to talk..." Hermione's voice was hoarse and she was burning up, but she didn't have the strength, or desire, to move away.

"Mmmm." The older woman leaned in closer, so their noses almost brushed and Hermione lost the ability to breathe. "You know what else? You could have used accio while I was still frozen to get the vial, but your first thought was about 'rummaging around'." The witch leaned back and cackled as Hermione blinked, dazed. "You're far too easy to tease, Granger."

Scowling, Hermione pushed to her feet and watched as Black did the same, with far more grace. The woman was still cackling. 

"Shut up, Black." 

"You don't mean that, Granger. You enjoy it far too much." The older woman slipped her fingers under her corset and brought out the vial, holding it out. "Come, you earned this. I still think you could do better, but I'm a woman of my word."

Hermione reached out and took the vial, trying to ignore the moment when their skin brushed against each other. Black watched as she opened the vial and plucked out the leaf. 

"Now?" Hermione asked, eyeing it. 

"Yes. Remember, you cannot remove it. And for heaven's sake, don't swallow it."

Hermione rolled her eyes and nodded, before slipping the leaf under her tongue. It filled her mouth with a bitter taste and she pulled a face. This would take some getting used to. 

"So now we wait until the next full moon?" Hermione asked, glancing up at the one she couldn't see through the dark canopy. 

"Yes, Granger." Black rolled her eyes. "If you're lucky it'll be a clear night and you won't have to start all over again."

"Did you have to?"

"Twice," Black replied, beginning to walk back the way they had come. "It was highly frustrating." 

"You? Frustrating? Can't imagine." Hermione replied, her sarcastic tone making the older witch shoot her a look. 

"Watch it, Granger. We're not friends; I'm still your Professor." She didn't say it with as much bite as Hermione would have expected.

_Yes, because Professors regularly take their students out in to the woods, duel with them and then flirt._

"I did not flirt." Black snapped. Hermione smirked at her and the older woman rolled her eyes. "Control your thoughts, Granger." 

"Stay out of my head then."

"Work on your occlumency and I wouldn't be able to hear you so easily." The older witch retorted. "I'm not even trying; you're practically shouting it at me."

Hermione blushed and the older witch rolled her eyes again. 

"I'm sorry."

"For what? You think you're the first student to have a crush on me? You won't be the last. Every year there's a new wave of hormone ridden, angst-filled teenagers and every year some of them have a mid-class fantasy."

"What do you do?" Hermione asked, distracted by her Professor's story and almost tripping over a root. Black rolled her eyes again. _If she does it much more she'll get dizzy._

"Where do you think the rumour that I use legilimency on my students comes from?"

"You started that?" Hermione stopped and stared at Professor Black, who studied her with a bored look. "To make them control themselves?"

"In hopes that they'd at least save it until I wasn't present." She shrugged, brushing some dirt off her skirt. They now stood at the edge of the forest, and the full moon lit them up. Hermione ignored the fleeting thought that moonlight suited her Professor. 

"Does it work?"

"Teenagers are riddled with hormones, desires... take your Weasley. Hearing him pine over you loudly was enough to make me want to throw up." Black snickered.

"He's not _my Weasley."_ Hermione responded, shooting a glare at the other woman. 

"No? When did that end?" Black asked casually, with an air of disinterest. 

"Before I came back to school. He wasn't right, for me, I mean." Hermione said, hurriedly. She didn't know why she felt that the situation required more information but she continued anyway. "He was always trying to distract me, wanting us to go to the next level and I just... didn't want to. Everyone wanted us together and I think I just felt like I had to give it a go."

"He's an idiot." Black scoffed. 

"He's..." She struggled for a response. In the end, she shrugged. "Ron. He's just Ron."

"Well, I expect that the Weasley's were devastated." Hermione chuckled at how disinterested her Professor was trying to sound, despite continuing the conversation and not moving any further towards the castle. "Gone is the chance for them to have an intelligent grandchild from their youngest boy." The evil smirk the witch was poorly attempting to conceal made Hermione laugh louder, drawing the eyes of the older woman. 

"He'll find someone else." 

"Mmm." The older woman paused. "You went through many things in your time here; the three of you. I suppose people would expect that to foster some form of... romance." She said the word as though it was an unpleasant smell that had wafted under her nose. "It's unsurprising that you felt it too."

"I guess..." Hermione shrugged, leaning against a tree and watching the way her Professor studied the grounds ahead of them, bathed in moonlight. It was so quiet. "I never thought of it that way."

Black studied the younger witch carefully. 

"He would have held you back." She wasn't sure why the words escaped her and immediately looked away from her student's questioning and surprised eyes. 

"What-"

The snap of a twig behind them distracted both women. Black drew her wand quickly and stepped forward, her back to the castle. Hermione stepped forward as well, but Black's arm flew out in front of her, stopping her in her tracks. 

"Stay behind me." Hermione opened her mouth to protest. "Quiet, Granger."

They both strained their ears, waiting for another sound. The forest was silent. Hermione glanced over at Black, whose arm was still across her stomach, and remembered how this had all started. 

"Is there something in here? Something that attacked you that night-" There was another crack in the distance and Hermione felt Black's arm grow rigid. 

"Hermione, get back to the castle..." Black murmured, her eyes studying the trees. 

"I'm not leaving you out here on your own," Hermione replied stubbornly, raising her wand a little higher. 

Black gritted her teeth in frustration and growled. 

"Be a good little Head Girl and go."

"Not likely."

Letting out a snarl, Black turned and grabbed Hermione's arm. 

"Have it your way then, Granger." She pulled Hermione towards the open grounds, casting glances back behind them even as they got closer and closer to the front door of the castle. Hermione was trying to keep up, her arm sore where Black was still gripping it hard. Only when they reached the doors and the older witch had closed them behind them, did she release her with a glare. "Next time I tell you to go, you go. Do you understand?"

"What's out there? Is it the same thing that attacked you?" Hermione's questions were brought abruptly to a halt when the older witch covered her mouth with her hand. 

"Quiet Granger," she hissed. "Merlin, how is it that you are even more of a chatterbox when you've had to run?"

Hermione stared at the older witch, both of them panting slightly. Hermione's breath felt hot against the hand covering her mouth and she suddenly realised that the older witch was practically pressing her to the door in an effort to silence her. She stilled and Black blinked, the angry glare on her face disappearing. 

"Bellatrix... what on earth are you doing?"

Both heads spun to face Professor McGonagall, who was staring at them with a raised eyebrow. Black glanced back at Hermione and quickly backed away, dropping her hand from Hermione's mouth as though she had been scolded. 

"Just teaching Granger here the importance of silence, Minerva," she replied, folding her arms and shrugging. 

"Your teaching methods leave a lot to be desired." She frowned, looking between the two of them. "Are you alright, Hermione?"

Hermione straightened her robes, clearing her throat. 

"Yes... it was my fault actually, Professor. Just a misunderstanding." Black shot her a curious look but quickly recovered. 

"Yes. The girl is right."

"Be that as it may," McGonagall said, pursing her lips. "I'd prefer it if you didn't manhandle students, Bellatrix."

"Won't happen again, Minerva." Bellatrix replied a little too sweetly. "I was just about to return to my rooms, as was Miss Granger."

"To my rooms," Hermione added and then blushed. The look that both Professor's shot her, both different but equally incredulous, suggested that she hadn't needed to explain further. 

"Yes. Well... carry on." Minerva McGonagall coughed and turned to leave. Hermione could have sworn she saw the twitch of a smile on the Headmistress' lips as she walked away. 

"Sorry." Hermione muttered to Professor Black when they were alone again. "I-"

"Goodnight, Granger." Black didn't even look at her, just swept off, her skirts swirling around her. Hermione watched her leave, mouth open. 

"I swear, I can't do the right thing around her for more than five minutes..." she muttered to herself as she headed back towards the Gryffindor common room. 

It wasn't until she was lying in bed, running over the night in her brain and desperately trying to work out what Professor Black could be hiding from everyone in the Forbidden Forest, that she realised something. 

_"Hermione, get back to the castle..."_ She didn't think her Professor had ever called her Hermione before. Even during the war...

That night her dreams were filled with creatures chasing her and Black through the forest, and every time they reached the edge of the forest she would fall and Black's voice would repeat her name over... and over... 

_"Hermione..."_


	5. Impossible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of ways that war can stick with a person...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I made a rookie error and didn't save a draft, then my laptop updated. So this chapter had to be rewritten and at first I was annoyed. But then I wrote this and actually I'm so pleased it happened. Because if it hadn't, there'd have been none of the moments in the rain and well... you'll see. Hermione and Bellatrix again, because it seems impossible for me to write a chapter where they don't see each other. However, this one is a little different.

Hermione didn't usually pay much attention to herself in the mirror in the mornings; she only really focused on it when she was dressed and had to tame her hair. But this morning, she'd just glanced in it as she slipped on her underwear and-

"-What the..."

Dark bruises, the ghosts of fingerprints from the evening before, circled her arm. Hermione stared at them, surprised; Professor Black was stronger than she looked. Her fingers traced over the marks and Hermione frowned. She still had so many questions from last night but it didn't seem like Black was intending on answering them. And then there had been the moment, before they'd been interrupted by something unknown in the forest, when Black had seemed to... care.

Hermione shook her head and turned away from the mirror, grabbing her shirt and putting dangerous thoughts to the back of her mind. 

Despite this, she was still deep in thought when she met Neville and Ginny in the Common Room to head downstairs to breakfast. Ginny, in conversation with Neville, cast a few concerned glances over at her friend, but left her to her own devices for the moment. 

It was when they entered the Great Hall that Hermione felt the first prickle across her skin that meant that someone was watching her. She looked around the hall - it wasn't uncommon for a first year to be staring at her since her return to school. Nothing. Hesitantly, with an odd feeling in her chest, she glanced up at the top table. 

Her eyes met dark ones, staring in to her with such a concentration that Hermione shuddered slightly. She paused en-route to the table, a little stunned. Black almost seemed unaware that Hermione was returning her gaze; her lips were pursed and brow slightly furrowed as though she were contemplating something. Hermione made sure that her thoughts were shielded, despite not having felt any attempts to read her mind. She knew that Black seemed to have a sensitivity to thoughts that meant she didn't necessarily need to try to read them. At least, that's what it sounded like. _Imagine being able to hear the strongest thoughts around you and being unable to escape them... how hard that must be._

"Hermione?" Ginny placed a hand on her upper arm, breaking her focus on Black. She breathed in sharply, unaware that she'd stopped and looked at her friend, who was frowning. "Are you ok?"

"Yes... sorry." Hermione shook her head and glanced back up at the table. Black was no longer looking at her. She was talking to Flitwick as though she'd been doing so all along and Hermione was surprised at the feeling of loss she felt to find that she was no longer the woman's focus. She really needed to sort out this crush... damn. 

She joined the others at the table and grabbed some toast. 

Every so often, she thought she felt that burning gaze on her again, sending goosebumps over her skin and making her glance up at the table. But every time she did, the woman was looking literally _anywhere_ else. At one point, she was even looking up at the ceiling, which today was cloudy and grey, threatening rain. Hermione huffed when she saw her studying it intently; it was this time that convinced her that she wasn't going completely insane. Black was obviously avoiding her gaze. Hermione wasn't sure if she was annoyed or... distracted, by the information. 

"Hermione, are you alright?" Neville asked her from across the table. "You're really jumpy today."

"I'm fine... I think I just need some fresh air." Hermione shook her head. "Might go for a walk before class."

"I'll come with you," Ginny piped up, looking at Hermione with concern. She would definitely interrogate Hermione if that happened. 

"No, really Gin, thanks for the offer but I could really use some time alone. If you don't mind?" Hermione added, not wanting to hurt Ginny's feelings. 

"Yeah, if you're sure?" Ginny replied. "I'm worried about you, 'Mione."

"I'm alright, honestly. I'll be better after a walk." Hermione shot them all a reassuring smile and got up from the table. She glanced up towards the top table and saw that Black was no longer there. "See you in Potions?"

"See you Hermione," Neville replied. They all watched her walk away with concerned frowns. "She's been acting odd for a few days now."

"Yeah," Ginny replied. "I don't know what's wrong... I thought the nightmares had stopped but I don't think she's sleeping well either."

"She'll be ok though, right?" Neville nudged Ginny, giving her a weak smile. "I mean, it's Hermione."

"Yeah..."

"Maybe we should send Harry a letter?" 

"Maybe..."

***

Hermione might have only been talking about taking a walk to get away from the inquisitive and concerned looks from her friends, but the minute she stepped outside she felt better. There was a wind, strong enough to make her robes flap around her ankles and she could see dark clouds moving towards the castle. A deep inhale settled her stomach, which had been filled with butterflies, and she decided to walk through the recently rebuilt wooden bridge and down to the stone circle. She had plenty of time before class, as her first period was free. 

The creaking of the wood was the only sound that could be heard above the wind as Hermione walked the bridge. She had been one of the people who had helped to rebuild the structure, needing to focus on something that created and didn't destroy. It had been one of the things that had gotten her through the summer; rebuilding Hogwarts. She remembered the way that everyone had worked in silent determination, all focused on repairing the damage that had been done.

The day that Andromeda Tonks, a tiny Teddy strapped to her chest, had arrived and wordlessly joined them, made a lump form in Hermione's throat. Professor Black had appeared and stood, frozen at the sight of her sister, until the other woman had turned and spotted her. The entire group had watched as the women studied each other and then, closing the gap swiftly, had wrapped each other in a tight hug until Teddy had cried in protest. Black had stepped back and given the pair a look that Hermione had never thought to see on the face of her Professor; anguish. Andromeda had cupped her sister's face and told her that it wasn't her fault. At that point, the entire group had, in wordless agreement, turned and walked away, leaving the family to their reunion. Hermione thought that the moment would be forever burned in to her soul. It had felt so private, so precious and she felt that had she been closer she would have been burned by the strength of it. 

Stepping out in to the stone circle, Hermione took another deep breath. The weight of her thoughts had settled heavily on her chest and leaned against one of the stones to ground herself. Looking up at the dark sky, Hermione willed herself to breathe in and out. After a few moments, the feeling subsided and she closed her eyes in relief. 

"I thought I told you to be more aware of your surroundings."

Her eyes shot open and flew around the circle. It seemed deserted. _Merlin, maybe I really am hearing voices. Well... one particular voice. Best to be sure..._

"Maybe I was just ignoring you," she replied to the circle, taking a few steps forward. 

A dry chuckle from her right had her twisting on the spot. 

"If that were the case, you wouldn't have looked so surprised when you heard me speak."

Hermione bit her lip, cursing Black for being... well, Black.

"You know, Professor, if you keep this up I'll be forced to think that you don't dislike me as much as you pretend."

There was silence for a moment and Hermione began to think that she'd crossed a line. 

"I don't recall ever saying that I disliked you."

Hermione's heart had already been thumping loudly in her chest, but when she heard Black speak, _right behind_ her, it tried to jump up in to her throat, out of her mouth and run away. She turned around and found herself face to face with that smirk that haunted her sleep. Hell, her waking moments too. 

"Well you don't exactly do a good job of proving otherwise."

"I never said I liked you either," the older witch shrugged, her eyes filled with glee as she teased her. The smirk was... distracting. 

"You're impossible."

"One of my favourite adjectives," the witch shot back, cackling. Hermione rolled her eyes. 

"Did you follow me?" She asked, watching as the older witch leaned back against the stone Hermione had been leaning against before. Spots of rain started to darken the stone but neither witch moved. 

"When I left the Hall you were still at the table with the female Weasley and Longbottom. I should be asking if you followed me."

"I didn't!" Black raised an eyebrow. "I swear. Why would I?"

"Your never ending need to ask questions? You recent quest to seek me out whether I'm in a bookshop or my own chambers? Or maybe it's that crush you've got." Black winked and cackled again. "Stalking is a dangerous game, Granger."

 _She's enjoying this far too much._ Hermione was overtaken by a strong urge to make Black eat her words. 

"Please, I am not stalking you. And yes, fine, I have a crush on you. But if you think that it amounts to anything more than occasionally getting distracted by you, you're mad." 

Black was momentarily stunned by the outburst but soon pulled herself together. 

"Mad." Black gritted her teeth and stood up straight. "Interesting choice of words." 

Hermione sensed the change immediately. She knew that Rita Skeeter had published articles during the war claiming that Black was a 'mad and dangerous woman, who Albus Dumbledore trusts despite her pureblood obsession with He Who Must Not be Named and several sightings of her working with him from trusted witnesses'. She knew that Harry and Black had duelled in the courtyard when he had called her a mad death-eater. At the time she had believed that Black had fought because she was working for Voldermort and it had been that evening that she had stormed in to Dumbledore's office... but perhaps that hadn't been it. 

"I didn't mean..."

"Of course you didn't." Black stood up straight, her hair sticking to her face as the rain began to soak them both. "You just like to cast aspersions on people, like everyone else."

"Professor, I am so_"

"-Don't. Don't you dare say you're sorry." Black snarled. She stepped closer to Hermione and the younger witch fought the instinct to run. Black was intimidating when she was angry; there was practically steam rising from her skin as the rain hit it and despite all of this, Hermione still felt... "Do you know that while you get to waltz around, everyone's favourite witch with your golden trio and your bright future, some of us are still tainted? You have no idea what I had to do to play my part in the war, Granger, and then to have my co-workers, my friends, my students _believe...._ well, no one can say I didn't do a good job, can they?" She spat bitterly. "Mad Bellatrix Black; I'll go to my grave with Skeeters fucking words on the headstone and-"

Hermione didn't know what made her do it really. It was dangerous. It was foolish. Black was wound up and at the best of times her temper was legendary... but she didn't really think about that when she flung her arms around her and pulled her in to a hug. Black stilled, stunned and then struggled. 

"Get off me, Granger!"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Hermione cried, holding the woman tightly, pressing in to her to stop her from running. "You're not mad, I'm so sorry."

"Granger..." Black growled, but it lacked bite. The rain poured down on them and Hermione blinked as raindrops caught on her eyelashes and burst on her skin, but she didn't let go. Black felt stiff in her arms, but she was no longer struggling. 

"They're idiots. I was an idiot... I should never have accused you." Hermione felt Black shift in her arms, her head turning. Hot breath tickled Hermione's neck and she shivered. "I was wrong."

"I was a good actress." Hermione laughed, relieved. Black sounded calm enough, although there was a strain in her voice that was obvious. The younger woman loosened her arms slightly and stepped back, peering at Black's face as the woman looked up. The look on her face threw Hermione more than her anger had. She had never seen Black look unsure or confused before. 

"Still. I _am_ sorry."

Black's hands flexed at her sides, unseen by Hermione. The woman inhaled and then a small, teasing smile appeared on her lips. 

"You know, Granger, you're doing a terrible job of convincing me that you don't like me."

Hermione realised she was still wrapped around the older woman and released her quickly, embarrassed. Stepping away and clearing her throat, she rolled her eyes when Black chuckled quietly. 

"Impossible," she repeated, but couldn't help the smile on her lips. 

"You look like a drowned rat," Black cackled through the rain, which was getting heavier every second. 

"Look in a mirror," Hermione shot back, giggling. She gestured towards the bridge and they both hurried under cover. Hermione was still laughing when Black turned to look at her with a look that made her shudder. The older woman's brow furrowed and she raised her wand, casting a spell over the both of them. They started to steam and Hermione felt warmth flood through her. "Thank you."

Black shrugged and put away her wand. 

"You should get to class."

"Oh... yes. Yes I should." Hermione was disappointed by Black's new mood change. Not that she should have expected anything different. She hesitated and then when the older woman didn't say anything, just watched her, she made to walk up the bridge towards the castle. Black's hand flew out as she passed her and caught her arm. 

"If I hear anyone mention..." She seemed to struggle with the words and ended up gesturing back the way they had come.

"I wouldn't... I won't." Hermione rushed to reassure her. "I promise."

Black studied her and Hermione wondered if she imagined the slight tightening of the older woman's hand on her arm. As soon as it had begun, she was released. 

"See you in class, Granger."


	6. Fire Whiskey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... I have no summary for this. I don't know what's going on; it's writing itself. I have lost control. Pretty sure it's Bellatrix's fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is dedicated to a certain puppy that told me that Hermione would wear flannel to bed. Guess she likes a girl in flannel...

If Hermione had thought she'd been thrown by Black's sudden mood change before, this one was giving her whiplash. 

It was her own fault really, for expecting something different. Throughout Potions, Hermione had been running over that morning's encounter with Professor Black and it had filled her with nervous excitement. She hadn't stopped tingling since she had felt Black's breath on her neck, since the woman had looked at her like... it was making her mind go haywire. She'd made a mental note to build up the strongest shields in her brain that she possibly could before Defence Against the Dark Arts because if Black heard the mess of thoughts in her brain she'd think Hermione had lost it. Hermione couldn't take the potential embarrassment. 

So when she walked in to class, prepared, she was surprised that Black didn't pay her any attention whatsoever. She even actively ignored Hermione's hand in the air, ready to answer a question that no one else could. Hermione frowned. Throughout the class, her mood got lower and lower until she stopped trying to answer questions and just looked at her book, frowning. 

And it wasn't just that day either. For the next two weeks, Professor Black completely ignored Hermione. By the end of the first week, Hermione had left a class with her and hidden in the bathroom to cry. By the end of the second, she'd moved from upset to angry. How dare Black just ignore her? Sure, she could understand that their last proper encounter had been difficult for the older witch but did she have to be such a child about it? 

To make matters worse? 

Whatever odd coincidence had meant that they kept meeting had worn off. Hermione now only saw Black when there were other people around, like in class or the Great Hall, or once or twice in a busy corridor. She thought she saw her, once or twice, during her patrols of the castle, one time late at night in the library, but if the woman was there she hadn't stuck around long enough for Hermione to confirm it. 

In fact it had crossed Hermione's mind once or twice that the witch was actively avoiding her. The thought upset her more than it should. By the end of the third week, Hermione had confirmed that Black was doing her best to not be around Hermione. She was sitting in the library, across from Ginny, who was in mid-whispered conversation with her when she frowned, looking over Hermione's shoulder. 

"What's wrong?" Hermione whispered, looking around. She couldn't see anything odd. 

"Black just came in, saw me and... I think she might have actually tried to apparate; she left that fast. What the hell have I done to piss her off now?" 

Hermione bit her lip and shrugged, looking back at her work. She knew it wasn't Ginny that Black had been looking at.

So Hermione had decided to actually become a stalker. She was beginning to get worried because she only had to keep the mandrake leaf in her mouth for another week and she hadn't collected the other ingredients. At the beginning of this, Black had said that she had them, but if the woman wasn't going to talk to her then that didn't matter at all. Harry had left her the Marauder's map and one evening she set it out on her bed before patrol and looked over it. It had taken her a while to find Black, but when she did she discovered that the woman was pacing in her rooms. 

_Oh Merlin, I can't disturb her there again... can I?_ Black's pacing looked agitated; she was moving quickly from one side to the other. 

Hermione frowned. _What's gotten her so wound up?_ She watched her pace for another few minutes. _Fuck it. Might not get another chance._

Climbing out of bed, Hermione glanced at herself in the mirror. She was only wearing the flannel shirt she liked to wear to bed; it was oversized and comfy and slipping off her bare shoulder. Not suitable for walking through the corridors, at night, in autumn/winter time, to go and see a teacher that you have a crush on. She bit her lip. No. She was angry at Black for just... vanishing. She grabbed her jeans and pulled them up, jumping a little to get them over her bum, then looked at herself again. It would do. She didn't want to miss Black if she was going to head out in to the forest again; that had to be why she was pacing. Something was up. Checking the map again to make sure that the other woman hadn't left her rooms, Hermione headed out, grabbing her wand at the last minute and stuffing it in to her back pocket. 

She got a few odd stares as she crossed the Common Room in a hurry, but she didn't really care. Once she was in the corridor she chanced it and started to run a little and immediately regretted it. Not only had she forgotten to put on socks in her hurry, but she realised she was also missing a crucial support. Biting her lip she considered going back. Her brain really wasn't operating properly. Crossing her arms across her chest, she started hurrying down the corridor again, towards her original destination. _Screw it. It's not like she'll notice anyway._

This time she didn't feel like running away at the door. Black was the one that had been running away. Hermione was annoyed and she was going to tell her exactly what she thought about her- oh. 

Black opened the door and Hermione inhaled sharply. 

"What happened?"

"Granger, what are you doing here?" Black's eyes slipped down and hastily returned to Hermione's own. "What-"

"What happened?" Hermione persisted, staring at the older woman. There was a dark bruise forming across the witch's right cheekbone, around her eye, her nose looked broken and there was a cut through her bottom lip. She looked like she'd taken a bludger to the face. Black scowled and then grabbed her forearm, dragging her inside the room, slamming the door after her. 

"What the hell are you doing here, Granger?"

"I'm pretty sure that's not as important as what happened to your face, Black." Hermione retorted. 

"It's none of your business, _Granger."_ Black hissed. She could smell alcohol on the woman's breath and winced. "Get out."

Hermione gritted her teeth and scanned the older woman for other injuries. She was still wearing her usual dress and corset combination, but one of the sleeves of her dress was ripped and a bruise was appearing there too. 

"Were you just not going to heal these?" Hermione's lips pursed and she pulled out her wand. 

"Merlin, you're infuriating!" Black scowled, turning away and heading over to the kitchen. She opened a cupboard and grabbed a bottle of Fire Whiskey before she saw Hermione's disapproving face. "If you say one word about drinking in my rooms, Granger, I'll have you out on your ass faster than you can say 'know-it-all'."

Hermione rolled her eyes and followed the woman to the sofa, where she dropped herself down and opened the bottle, wincing as she raised the injured arm to pour some in to a glass. 

Hermione hovered. 

"Why haven't you healed yourself?" She asked again, quietly. 

"Because, I fully intend to wake up tomorrow, when I'm sober, and see this so I remember not to be such a fucking idiot." Black shot her a sarcastic grin before drinking half the glass in one go. "And you can stop doing that."

"What?"

"You know what." Black gestured at her face and Hermione realised that she was biting her lip. She released it and Black smirked. "Good girl."

Shaking her head and ignoring _that_ comment, Hermione sat down next to the older woman and hooked the glass from her hand. Black opened her mouth to protest but before she could, Hermione threw back the mixture. She swallowed and felt the warmth fill her, then looked over at Black with a smug smirk before leaning down to put the glass on the floor. 

"Fuck." Black muttered it so quietly that Hermione almost missed it. She sat up and saw Black watching her through heavy lids. "Why are you here, Granger?" The older witch asked quietly, leaning back and studying the younger witch intently... or as intently as she could with the haze of alcohol hanging over her. 

"I came to yell at you," Hermione shrugged, leaning forward and studying Black's injuries carefully. "But I'll save that for tomorrow if you let me heal these now." 

"Do whatever you want." Black waved her hand dismissively, lazily, as she continued to watch Hermione's face. "What did I do now?"

"You've been avoiding me." 

The older witch snorted. 

"I don't 'avoid' people."

"Ginny said you practically apparated out of the library when you saw me the other day."

"Did she now?" Black's lips pursed and she winced. Hermione shook her head and pointed her wand at the lip. It knitted itself back together and Black smacked her lips together. "Female Weasley could be lying."

"She had no reason to." 

"Hmmm." Black winced again as Hermione healed her arm. "You haven't told her what you've been up to?"

"No." Hermione replied, feeling guilt twinge in her stomach. "I haven't told her about you either."

"What about me?" Hermione gestured for the older woman to sit up so she could heal the rest of her face. 

"Just... everything." 

"You mean your big 'I'm a distraction but nothing else' thing?" Black smirked and Hermione took the opportunity to heal the broken nose. The sharp crack caused Black to growl and she glared at the younger witch, who tried to hide her smile. "Merlin, Granger, a warning would've been nice."

Hermione quickly healed her cheek and eye and Black moved, aiming for the bottle again. 

"Hold still. I need to check your nose has set properly."

"It's fine." 

"Let me check," Hermione insisted. Black rolled her eyes but sat back. Hermione studied her nose, running her finger over it to check for any bumps or irregularities. There didn't seem to be any. She ran her fingers over the cheek that had been bruised, making sure she'd not missed a break there. "Any other injuries you're hiding?" She met the onyx eyes that were fixed on her and watched as the older woman shook her head. "Then you're ok."

Black eyed her and Hermione realised she was still hovering over the woman on the sofa. She settled back and the older woman immediately grabbed the bottle, twisting the top off. 

"Going to give me the glass or shall I start drinking from the bottle?" She said roughly. Hermione thought her voice sounded huskier than before but it was probably the pain. She rolled her eyes and picked up the glass. 

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" She passed the glass over, ignoring the way her fingers tingled when they brushed against the other woman's. She hadn't realised how warm it was in the room; they were near the roaring fire and despite her lack of much in the way of clothing, she was suddenly feeling hot. 

"No." Black shrugged, pouring a glass and taking a gulp. 

"Was it the thing in the forest?"

"No, Granger, not everything is something lurking in the forest." Black rolled her eyes and studied the younger witch again, seeming to notice her lack of footwear. "In a rush, were we?"

Hermione blushed and prayed that Black wouldn't notice anything else missing. Then again, maybe she had when she first opened the door...

"I just didn't want to give you the opportunity to hide-"

"-I don't hide."

"I've not been able to catch you for weeks." 

"What would you need to catch me for, hmmm?" Black mused, sitting up and leaning towards Hermione. "Not for the fire whiskey. And I hope not for another apology because I'm not a hugger and one time was about all I could handle."

"The other ingredients." Hermione replied, blushing deeply. "Next week it will have been a full month and I need the other ingredients."

"I told you I had them." Black cocked her head to the side and then bit her lip. "Why are you blushing?"

"Uhm..." Hermione tried to avoid her eyes slipping down. The corset was doing incredible things to Black's figure at this angle and she was desperately trying to not get distracted. "It's hot in here."

"Is it?" Black's voice was husky and she grinned. "Or are you just distracted by me again?"

Hermione swallowed.

"You're drunk." 

"Very," Black chuckled and took another gulp of firewhiskey. "And you're here. Again."

Hermione shifted back. She'd had enough of being teased. 

"So you're not going to disappear when I come and talk to you tomorrow?"

"Where would I disappear to? I can't leave this fucking castle."

Hermione frowned. 

"Why not?"

"Because, Granger..." Black's eyes clouded with sadness and Hermione was so taken aback that she just stared. "They still think I'm evil. Mad." She snorted bitterly and finished the glass in her hand. 

"Have you tried? You don't know what people think-"

"My face would disagree," Black replied, gesturing towards the bits that had been injured. Hermione frowned.

"Someone did that to you?"

Black shrugged, going for the bottle again. Hermione reached across and snatched it from her, holding it out of reach. Black growled. 

"You'll hand that over if you know what's good for you, pet."

"Who did that to you?" Black made a grab for the bottle and Hermione leaned back to avoid her, but they became tangled and Black ended up landing on her. "Oof!"

"Shit..." Black stared at Hermione, stunned. "Granger... you ok?"

"Yep..." Hermione practically squeaked. Black pulled herself up, away from Hermione, who hurriedly checked that her shirt hadn't exposed anything... it hadn't. She offered a silent prayer. 

"It was a group of idiots." Black muttered, making Hermione look up at her. The older witch was looking down and shrugged. "Saw me in the Hog's Head and thought they'd let me know just what they thought of 'Voldermort's whore'." Hermione breathed in sharply, anger flooding her. "Caught me off guard; not using their wands. I'll admit, might've had a bit too much to drink. They got in a couple of blows before I got to my wand."

"I hope you gave them hell," Hermione muttered. Black chuckled. 

"Of course I did. Aberforth is still trying to get one of them down from the ceiling." Hermione laughed and Black shot her a grin that was all teeth. "Not going to tell me off, Head Girl?"

"You wouldn't listen if I did," Hermione chuckled. "Besides, I'm pretty sure that McGonagall will do that when she hears."

"Going to rat me out?"

"She and Aberforth have a drink once a month, your days are numbered." Hermione smirked, getting up. She picked up the glass and the bottle and took them over to the kitchen. Black watched her curiously from the sofa. 

"What are you doing?"

"Clearing up before I go." Hermione headed to the door, with Black watching her, stunned, the entire way. "Try not to fight the furniture on your way to bed."

"Granger-!" Black called as Hermione opened the door. She looked back, eyebrow raised. "... Thank you. For... you know." 

The older woman looked sheepish but she was trying to play it off as casual. Hermione assumed that it was the amount of alcohol she'd had that made it less effective than usual. She inclined her head and left the room. She couldn't stay. It was all starting to feel too... casual. Almost like friendship, aside from those moments when her feelings raged in to being and lit a fire in her. Drunk Black was infinitely more flirtatious than sober Black and Hermione could not take that any longer. 

The cold stone under her feet and the general lack of heat in the castle soon cooled her down and she was shivering by the time she made it back to her room. Slipping off her jeans and putting them in the wash pile, she slipped under the sheets and wrapped them around her. 

This was getting out of control. What had begun as a passing crush before this year was slowly developing and Hermione wasn't sure she could handle it. It was fine when she was just getting momentarily distracted but Black seemed to be taking over her life now. Perhaps when they had finished the animagi transformation, things would go back to normal. She just had to make it until then.

Right?


	7. The Potion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a month, so it's time to make a potion. But with something in the Forbidden Forest, where will they get the dew from?

The morning brought an announcement from Professor McGonagall as they ate breakfast. 

"Students, a moment of your time? I have a couple of things to bring to your attention." She looked across the hall to make sure everyone was paying attention to her. "It appears that last night someone knocked over one of the busts in the hallway after curfew. We would request that the person responsible come forward, if only so we can teach you how to fix it." She levelled the room with a stern glare. Hermione's eyes flew to Professor Black, who was sitting on the top table looking intently at her goblet. 

_Clumsy drunk_ , she thought to herself, curious. Black's eyes flitted up to hers and met them with an amused smirk before the disinterested mask fell over her features again. Hermione's heart jumped in to her throat and she threw up the shield around her mind. _Damn, it worked._ She focused on what McGonagall was saying and caught the end of it. 

"- I expect you to all be on your best behaviour. That is all."

"Oh my god, I'm so excited for this," Ginny clapped her hands and grabbed Hermione's. "Shall we do it together Hermione? I know you're busy with your extra work and everything but it'd be fun right?"

"- Ginny, what are you talking about?" Her friend gave her a look. "I wasn't listening, I'm sorry."

"McGonagall just asked for volunteers from the seventh years to be on the committee for the ball! Please, 'Mione, let's do something fun. It'll help take my mind off Harry not being here."

Hermione didn't really want to help with the ball, but she couldn't say no to Ginny. 

"Ok, sure, let's do it." Ginny squealed and hugged Hermione, who hugged her back, a little taken aback. She caught sight of Black over Ginny's shoulder, who was frowning at them. When she realised Hermione was looking at her, she turned away. 

Hermione considered the possibility that this was the answer to her problem; helping plan the ball would distract her from thinking about Black outside of her school work and her mission to become an animagus. Perhaps this wasn't such a bad idea after all. 

Ginny practically dragged her up to McGonagall when they saw the witch leaving the hall. 

"Professor McGonagall, we want to sign up to help with the Winter Ball!" She grinned, flinging her arm around Hermione's shoulders and squeezing. Hermione flushed, embarrassed at how enthusiastic Ginny was. 

"Well, I think that's an excellent idea. Just let Professor Black know." 

"What?" Ginny asked. _What???_ Hermione thought. 

"Ms. Black is in charge of the volunteers organising the ball." McGonagall leaned forward and lowered her voice. "Between us, she lost a bet with Professor Slughorn and has been calling him a cheating flobberworm ever since." The Headmistress winked at the girls and straightened up. "I look forward to seeing what you come up with as a theme, ladies." 

Ginny turned on the spot to look at Hermione when McGonagall had left and frowned. 

"Damn, I thought this was going to be fun. Black will make everything-"

"-everything, what, Miss Weasley?" If Ginny had been standing near a wall, Hermione was sure she'd have headbutted it, such was the level of the 'facepalm' expression on her face. They both turned to look at Professor Black who was standing, arms crossed, looking at them expectantly. 

"Erm..." Ginny stuttered. Hermione rolled her eyes. 

"Well? I'm in suspense, Weasley."

"She was going to say you're going to make everything so much better than just fun, right Ginny?" Hermione nudged her friend who nodded gratefully. Black pursed her lips. 

"I'll pretend I believe you." She said, sarcastically, at Ginny, before turning to Hermione. "I need to speak to you, Granger."

Hermione hesitated, glancing at Ginny. 

"Erm... sure. Ginny I'll see you in class?"

"Yeah, see you, 'Mione." Ginny squeezed Hermione's upper arm and headed back off to the table to pick up her things, while Hermione followed Black through one of the doors that lay behind the top table. They walked along the corridor in silence and Hermione couldn't help but glance at the older witch several times. Last night, the revelation that she cared a little more than she'd thought, had changed things. She'd barely slept, her mind filled with the other witch. 

She felt the hand around her arm moments after it was being used to drag her off to the side. Her breath catching in her throat, Hermione made a noise of protest as Black closed the door of the room behind them. They were in a small storage room and Hermione felt her nerves increase at the close proximity of the older witch when she turned around. 

"Monday is the first night of the full moon... I have everything except for the dew so we will have to collect that then."

"Where from?" Hermione asked, a little breathless. 

"I had planned on the forest but that won't be possible. I know where we can get some but you will have to leave Hogwarts with me." 

"Leave the grounds? To where?"

Black chuckled and leaned back against the door. 

"Always the questions, Granger."

"Well, forgive me for being cautious about leaving Hogwarts at night with you," Hermione rolled her eyes, trying to hide a smile. 

"Don't worry, pet, I won't let anything in the big, bad world harm you," Black snickered, making Hermione snort. 

"Only because the world is more scared of big, bad you."

Black's smile disappeared and she straightened up, making Hermione pause in her laughter. The older witch stalked towards her, backing Hermione up against one of the shelves. She couldn't breathe. Black's breath tickled Hermione's skin as she leaned in. 

"So they should be." Black's eyes were predatory and Hermione's strangled inhale seemed loud in the stillness. She refused to look away; determined to prove she wasn't scared of the witch. She didn't want to think about the reason why fear wasn't the first instinct she felt at that moment.

The dark witch held there for a moment and then a chuckle escaped her red lips.

"My, my, pet, not even a flinch." She stepped back and Hermione let out a breath in the space. "Perhaps I'm losing my touch."

"I'm not scared of you, Black," Hermione shrugged, covering the shiver that ran through her. "Try it on some first years; I'm sure they'll wet themselves."

Black wrinkled her nose and laughed. 

"Disgusting." Hermione joined in the laughter and shook her head. "You used to be so on edge around me, Granger. In first year, I thought you would have been the one 'wetting yourself'."

Hermione flushed. 

"I grew up."

"That you did," Black replied, her eyes scanning Hermione in a way that was too slow to be appropriate. "And you've got better at controlling your mind in the last few weeks."

"I'm trying. I know what you said about being able to hear people without even trying and I thought that must be difficult, so I thought I'd remove my voice from the mix."

"Nothing to do with your little crush then?" Black mused, teasing. It didn't fall with the usual weight which made Hermione pause. 

"I would never want to make you uncomfortable, Black."

The older witch looked a little thrown and shifted, looking curiously at the younger woman. It took her a moment before her usual disinterested mask returned. 

"As if I would let a crush affect me," she sniffed. "Honestly, Granger."

Hermione knew that the woman was uncomfortable with the idea that she cared enough to be careful with her thoughts, so she let it go and changed the subject, giving them both a way out. 

"When should I meet you on Monday?" Black looked a little relieved. 

"Eleven, in the stone circle. We'll walk to the boundary and apparate."

"Ok."

Black looked as though she might say something else but instead she turned and opened the door, striding down the corridor. Hermione emerged and watched her leave before turning on her heel and heading in the opposite direction. 

***

It was freezing. Hermione hurried along the wooden bridge, her feet slipping a little on the frost covered floor. It was a typical November night, but instead of being in bed she was heading to meet Professor Black in the stone circle. She still didn't know where they were heading but the full moon shone above them, clear as day, so they couldn't miss the opportunity. 

She reached the edge of the bridge and stepped out in to the circle. The air felt like it was buzzing with magic. Her breath was white in the air in front of her and her cheeks were flushed from running. The moon hung overhead, covering the grounds and the castle in a ghostly light. Hermione loved the moon. 

"About time," Hermione span around and found Black standing there, all big black hair and eyes, pale skin shining in the light. She was wrapped up warmly in a heavy cloak over her slim frame. Hermione's breath caught. "What are you staring at? Come on, let's go." 

Black headed down the hill and Hermione hurried to keep up. She soon fell in to stride with the older woman and they left the boundary side by side. Black turned to the younger witch. 

"You're not one of those that get sick when you apparate are you?"

"No," Hermione frowned.

"Good. This is my favourite winter coat; I'd hate for it to get ruined." Hermione rolled her eyes until Black reached out and gripped her upper arm. "Let's go."

They apparated and Hermione felt Black's hand tight around her arm. She focused on it, willing the woman to not let her go. She didn't fancy a splinching. 

They landed outside some black iron gates. Hermione breathed in a large huff of cold air, and glanced around them. They were surrounded by woods on all sides, apart from the large, imposing wall and gates.

"Where are we?" She murmured. Black grimaced and pointed up at the crest on the top of the gates. Hermione recognised it. She recognised the motto and what it meant. "This is... your house?"

"The Black Mansion," the older woman replied in a mocking voice. "Always pure... idiots." 

Hermione resisted the urge to pry further when she saw the disgust on her Professor's face as she looked up at the motto. 

"Are... where will we find it?" She asked instead, trying to keep Black focused. 

"This forest is darker in some places than the forbidden forest; we'll find what you need." Black tore herself away from the gates and started to march towards the trees. Hermione followed, casting glances back at the dark outline of the mansion she could make out through the gates. The further they got from the house, the less dark the look on Black's face. The trees surrounded them and it became darker and darker until Black lit up the trees with lumos. 

"Here." The older witch produced a silver teaspoon from her robes and handed it to Hermione. "A full teaspoon mind you." 

Hermione was careful as she collected the dew from the plants. She could feel Black's eyes on her, watching and she had shivered once or twice under the weight of it. When it was collected, the pair made their way carefully through the forest again and Hermione felt relief when they emerged again in to moonlight and open air. 

Black pulled the phial from her robe. 

"Spit the leaf in to the vial." Hermione removed the charm that kept the leaf in place and spat it in to the vial, grimacing. She then added the teaspoon and pulled a hair from her head. Black handed her the chrysalis and she dropped it in. "Come."

"Where-?"

"It has to remain undisturbed. We're leaving it in the Mansion. No one will come here and you'll have somewhere that no one can disturb you when you first transform."

The older witch paused and grimaced as she placed her hand on the gates to the Mansion. They opened slowly, screeching from years of neglect. They crossed the grounds, leaving footprints in the frost. Black paused outside the door. 

"Are you ok?" Hermione asked, gripping the phial. Black shot her a look and then opened the door with a flick of her wand. 

_There must be a spell on this house_ , Hermione thought as they walked in to the entrance hall. Not a speck of dust could be seen anywhere and it was the most expensive room that Hermione had ever seen. She followed Black who was stalking through the corridor, her eyes catching on two paintings covered by black curtains. Remembering the painting in Sirius Black's house, Hermione steered clear. She had a feeling that meeting Bellatrix Black's parents was not something she wanted to do. 

They ended up in a library, filled with books from ceiling to floor. Hermione stared around her, amazed. 

"Oh my..." It was the most beautiful thing she'd seen in a long time and she imagined how many hours she could spend in the room. Years even. She saw a black and gold fireplace with photos on. One of them drew her eye; a young woman with Black's hair laughing with her sisters, each of them with a mask over their eyes. They looked as though they were at a ball. Black looked...

"Granger," Black barked. She was standing by a cupboard, the door open. Hermione hurried forward and placed the phial inside. Black shut the door and wiped her hands. "There. Now you just have to wait for a storm. With winter almost on us, I can't imagine it will be long."

"Thank you... for helping me I mean." Hermione said. "This can't be easy... being here?"

Black flinched and gritted her teeth. 

"I'm not here to talk about my past, Granger."

"I know, I just-"

"Enough. We should get back to the castle before someone realises you're gone."

Hermione, sensing that she wasn't going to get much else, followed. It didn't stop her from peering around at the mansion in awe. They were walking down the corridor when she tripped and stumbled in to a cabinet, making it rattle. Black whirled around but before she could say anything the curtains on the two portraits flew open. 

"Bellatrix! How dare you step in to this house after your betrayal!"

"You are no daughter of mine!"

The yelling paused as the portraits noticed that she wasn't alone. 

"A filthy mudblood? YOU DARE BRING A FILTHY MUDBLOOD IN TO THESE HALLS!?"

"FILTH, SCUM, GET OUT, GET OUT!"

Black grabbed Hermione and shot a spell at the curtains, closing them before she dragged the younger witch out of the building and locked it behind them. Both women panted, staring at the door. Hermione was the first to find her voice. 

"Well... they seem pleasant." Black snarled, still clutching her wand and looking as though she wanted to burn the place down. "I'm sorry, that wasn't funny."

"Did you have to be so clumsy?" Black shot at her. 

"I'm sorry, I was just-"

"-not watching where you were going, I know. It's a dangerous habit you have, Granger, stumbling in to things. I thought it was Potter's influence but since they've gone you seem to be managing well enough on your own!"

Hermione blanched at the way Black was looking at her. 

"It was an accident!"

"Just like you listening to my sister and I in the bookshop, just like you appearing in my rooms, seeing me... for someone smart you seem to love getting in to trouble." 

"I could say the same about you," Hermione shot back. "Or are you going to tell me that whatever is in the forest isn't dangerous, or you being an unregistered animagus isn't illegal?"

"Merlin, you're so frustrating." The older witch threw up her hands. 

"So are you." Hermione glared back at Black, both of them breathing heavily. 

Hermione was the first to break eye contact, huffing and starting to stomp back to the gates. The sooner they were out of here, the sooner she could get back to her bed. Why did Black wind her up so much? She was the single most frustrating, irritating, hypocritical - 

Hermione was already slipping before she realised that she'd hit some ice. She flailed, seemingly suspended, trying to regain balance and then began to fall. A hand grasped her and she felt herself being pulled. Her body span around and she found herself hitting something warm and soft instead. Black's arms were wrapped around her and she looked up, struggling to get her feet to support her. Black's face had an amused smirk on it, even as she rolled her eyes. She released Hermione as soon as the younger witch had regained her balance and she blushed, missing the contact almost immediately. She hadn't expected the older witch to feel so good... 

"You've got to stop this, pet." Black's smirk was dangerous again, as though she were playing with Hermione. "Keep falling for me and people will start talking."

Hermione rolled her eyes but couldn't help it when she blushed harder. 

"Please, as if."

Black chuckled but said nothing in response, just strode past Hermione towards the gates. The younger witch shook her head and bit her lip. Black's mood swings were really giving her whiplash. 

When she caught up with the older woman, she prepared herself for the journey. Black reached out and gripped her arm again and then they were apparating. 

The walk back to the castle was quiet and it wasn't until they were inside, in the warmth, that Black spoke. 

"Don't forget the meeting after dinner tomorrow, Granger. Winter balls don't just plan themselves."

"I'll be there."

"Don't forget to start the chant at sunrise. You remember it?"

"Yes, of course," Hermione rolled her eyes, amused. 

Black hesitated, as though she had something else to say, but then she simply nodded and turned on her heel, marching off. Hermione chuckled and shook her head. One day, she might understand that woman. Maybe when she wasn't so distracted by how damn attractive she was. 


	8. A Dress for the Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione gets a dress for the ball and she's definitely not chosen that colour for a reason...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is for Zoe - it's the dress she sent me when I couldn't work out what Hermione would wear, which then inspired the chapter. Bellamione Cult; supporting all the Bellamione fiction and writers every day. I kind of love you, you useless homos ;)

There was something incredibly distracting about sharing a secret with Black when you were in close proximity, but surrounded by others. It wasn't that the older woman was talking about anything related to it, but Hermione found that they shared a mutual understanding that had allowed.... communication. That was the only way that she could describe it. 

When Ginny was arguing with Pansy Parkinson over the theme, Black's eyes slipped to Hermione and a slight twitch in the eyebrow later had Hermione rolling her eyes. A barely-concealed chuckle from Hermione when Ginny called Pansy a 'jumped-up daisy' meant a small smile from Black, quickly hidden by her taking five points from Gryffindor and telling them to all sit down and shut up. 

"Why on earth it seems so impossible for you all to settle on a simple theme... if this goes on for much longer I'll cancel the whole damn thing." Black huffed, hands on her hips as she glared down at them all. 

"You can't do that!" Pansy pouted. "I have a dress picked out!"

"Oh, well," Black replied in a mocking voice, "if you have a dress we can't possible cancel."

"We can work together. We'll find a theme," Ginny said quickly. 

Hermione was watching Black, her mind lost in thoughts about their journey to Black Manor. Evidence of Black's childhood in those halls, the parents she must have dealt with. From the photo that she'd seen, it looked as though she had enjoyed some of it, at least. Perhaps only with her sisters... 

"Hermione?" Ginny waved a hand in front of her face and Hermione jumped, catching the smirk on Black's face before she looked at Ginny. 

"Sorry, what?"

"The theme. Do you have any ideas?" 

"Oh erm-" Hermione glanced at Black and the idea came to her immediately. "Masquerade?"

"Oh I love a masquerade," Ginny grinned.

"It's... not terrible," Pansy shrugged. The others around the room all agreed. Black's eyes never moved from Hermione during the whole exchange, until the room fell silent and all the students looked at her. 

"What do you think, Professor?" Ginny asked. Black's eyebrow quirked. 

"Well, since that is the first theme I've heard that was not horrendous, I suppose it will do."

The group all grinned and started discussing decorations, but Hermione was still locked on the older woman. She hoped she had not crossed a line; she wondered if Black even realised where the inspiration had come from. But that photograph was etched in Hermione's brain and she secretly hoped that perhaps this ball would give Black a chance to laugh like that again. 

***

"What are you going to wear?" Ginny asked over a butterbeer. They were with Neville and Luna in the Three Broomsticks, discussing the upcoming winter ball. 

"I don't know," Hermione bit her lip. 

"We should go shopping; I don't have plans this afternoon."

"We do," Neville said, barely concealing the relief at the idea of not getting dragged in to dress shopping. Hermione was mid laugh when the door to the pub opened and a group walked in in a flurry of wind and cloaks. She spotted McGonagall first, then Slughorn, followed by Flitwick and... well of course. How could Hermione think that she'd make it through a day without seeing Black? She quickly looked back to her friends, not wanting to be caught staring if the older woman looked over. She got the sense that Black was waiting to tease her about all the little looks from the Winter Ball planning meeting earlier in the week and she did not want to give her a chance to add other moments to the mix. 

"Well, I need to find one, so I guess I'm in," she said to Ginny, who was looking over at the teachers. 

"Hmm? Oh, great."

"Are you ok, Ginny?" Luna asked. 

"Yeah just... I swear Black has got it in for me this year. She's been giving me a weird look recently." 

"What do you mean?" Neville asked, glancing over at the teachers. Hermione kept her gaze focused on her drink. 

"I was telling Hermione the other week; she came in to the library and saw me, then turned and hightailed it out of there so fast... and she just spotted me sitting here and almost fell over Flitwick." Ginny scrunched up her nose. "It's weird."

"Did you do something?" Neville asked. 

"Oh who knows with Black; I could have stood on a spider by accident and it would turn out to be her favourite pet or something," Ginny rolled her eyes and laughed. 

"Careful, she'll hear you again," Hermione muttered, smirking as she remembered the last time that Ginny had been talking about the older woman when she was nearby. 

"Ugh, I can't handle that again. Hermione had to cover for me," she explained to the other two. "Black didn't look like she bought it but she let it slide... it was odd actually." Ginny looked curiously at Hermione who took a sip of her butterbeer to distract. "Hermione, did she say anything about it when she talked to you?"

"No... she didn't mention it." Hermione shrugged. 

"What did she want to talk to you about?" 

"Just that extra work I told you about," Hermione answered, taking another drink and finishing off her butterbeer. "Anyone want another round before we go dress shopping?"

"Yeah, I'll have one," Neville said. The others agreed. Hermione went up to the bar and waited for Madam Rosmerta to finish serving another customer. She looked behind the bar and spotted the mirror that hung up there. _I shouldn't..._ She looked. 

McGonagall, Slughorn and Flitwick all seemed engaged in a heated discussion that involved lots of expressive hand gestures. Hermione chuckled. She couldn't see Black in the mirror and frowned, shifting slightly, wondering if she was just out of sight. 

Nothing. _Why are you even looking for her?_

"Can I take your order, love?" Rosmerta was in front of her and Hermione jumped. 

"Yes, four butterbeers please."

Madam Rosmerta smiled and took Hermione's money, heading back down the bar. 

"No firewhiskey today, Granger?"

Hermione refused to react, even when the woman's arm brushed against hers as she settled at the bar. 

"I only drink firewhiskey when I'm around people who are being exceptionally frustrating," she quipped instead, shooting a smirk over to the older witch. 

"Feisty today," Black smiled, all teeth, studying Hermione's face in a way that made her feel like she should be blushing. She was far too aware of her friends being behind her by the window and the teachers over to her left. "You know, you seem to have a habit of being wherever I am, Granger. Am I in need of... what is it the muggles call it? A restraint order?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. 

"A restraining order. And no. You came in after us, remember?" The older witch raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Alright well, after this round we're going shopping for dresses for the ball, so unless you're also going there, you should be safe from the scary seventh year."

"Dress shopping; more Narcissa's style than mine." Black shrugged. "Unless they're black of course." 

"You, wearing black? How surprising," Hermione smirked. Black cackled. "Who knows; maybe I'll wear black. I think it'd suit me." 

Madam Rosmerta putting the drinks down on the bar distracted Hermione, but she was certain that Black's eyes had just darkened. She heard the older witch hum as she picked up the drinks. 

"So, I won't see you later," Hermione said, looking at the older woman who had just told Rosmerta the order for her table. "Because you're definitely not stalking me."

She turned and headed back to the table before Black could respond, but she could feel the eyes burning in to her. 

"Cheers Hermione... erm... why is Black staring at you?" Neville asked. The others looked over at the same time as Hermione peered back over her shoulder. Black grinned, slowly, her lips baring more and more of her teeth and then she turned back to the bar. 

"Holy crap, she freaks me out." Ginny whispered. 

"What did you do, Hermione?" Neville asked. Luna remained quiet, smiling gently between the older witch at the bar and Hermione. 

"I just told her that we were going dress shopping," Hermione shrugged. 

***

When the four of them stepped out of the Three Broomsticks, the air was cold. 

"Looks like snow," Luna murmured. 

Hermione had to agree; the clouds were swirling above them. 

"Well, we'd better hurry up then," Ginny said, pulling her coat further around her. "See you guys at dinner?"

Neville and Luna agreed and headed off together, while Hermione and Ginny turned and went further in to the village. There was a shop that had dresses and dress robes in it and if they couldn't find anything there then Hermione supposed they could order them. 

"Black is paying you a lot of attention recently," Ginny said as they hurried through the street. 

"What?"

"She was staring at you."

"Maybe she was staring at you again," Hermione quipped, smirking at Ginny. 

"You were with me every time that I thought she was," Ginny replied as she held open the door. They slipped inside the dress shop and Hermione sighed. 

"Honestly, she's probably just thinking of new ways to wind me up." 

"Why would she want to wind you up?" Ginny frowned. "I know she's difficult but she doesn't normally focus on people like this."

"Are you kidding?" Hermione chuckled. "Remember how she was in first year when Harry accused her of working with Snape to get to the Philosopher's Stone? Or how she responded to Umbridge when she came and got in her face?"

"... Ok you make a good point," Ginny laughed. "I'm still not over her 'not seeing' Fred and George carrying all those fireworks in to the grand hall. I mean... she was right there."

The pair laughed until a sales assistant came over to help them. 

"What do you think of this?" Ginny came out, twirling around in a green dress with detailed flowers all over it. 

"Wow, Ginny... you look amazing."

"Yeah?" Ginny beamed. "Harry said he might be able to come to the ball and I just... I want to remind him... you know?"

Hermione chuckled and nodded. 

"I get it."

"Ok, well... I think I'm sold. Your turn. Spotted anything you like?"

"I'll have a look now. Get changed."

Hermione wandered through the racks of clothes. She thought about a red dress, but in her head she could hear Black making comments about Gryffindor and she chuckled but put it back. She had almost reached the end of the rack when she spotted something that made her smirk. A section of black dresses. Well... she had said she might. 

She went through the section and immediately found one that just seemed perfect. Pulling it she held it against her, feeling the way it moved, she grinned. Wouldn't hurt to try it on. 

When she came out of the changing rooms, Ginny just stared. Open mouthed. 

"Ginny?"

"Ahem... erm... yeah... sorry I just... damn Hermione. Warn a girl!"

Hermione blushed and turned to look in the mirror. The black dress clung to her every curve and fell to the floor; made of a sheer black fabric with a nude under-layer, it was covered in black lace patterns and started with a low neckline, where the black lace broke away from the dress to create little black flame-like edges, as though the dress was clinging on to her with claws. She twisted, checking out the back. The fabric gathered under her bum, then created a small train. It was... stunning. She felt incredible. 

"If you don't get that, I will never speak to you again," Ginny said firmly. Hermione laughed. 

"Ok, you're right. I have to get it." 

She changed quickly, eager to get the dress back to the castle. Try as she might, her brain kept making comments. 

_Will she look like she did when you turned up at her room with no bra on? Will she bite her lip?..._ _Oh my god, stop it. She's not in to you. You have got to stop this. Just because she flirts with you... it's because she likes making you blush. But why?_

Hermione paid for her dress, which was now in a dress bag, before the two friends headed outside. It was getting so dark and cold that Hermione immediately cast Lumos. 

"Come on, we'd better hurry." 

They hadn't made it to the edge of the village before it started the snow, heavily. They both hurried as fast as they could, despite not being able to see much. Hermione cast a warming charm on them and kept the lumos light high. She hoped that they didn't accidentally fall in to the Black lake. 

Just when she was starting to get concerned, she spotted lights in the distance.

They ran through the front doors and collapsed against the wall, panting. 

"I- I have never.... been so.... cold," Ginny shivered. 

Hermione cast another spell and steam rose off of them. They checked their dresses, which were miraculously fine. 

"Come on," Hermione smiled. "Let's get these back to our rooms so we can go to dinner."

When they opened the Great Hall doors a little while later, Hermione's eyes strayed, as they so often did these days, straight to the top table. Black's eyes met hers and Hermione could have sworn she saw relief in them. Black pointed at her wrist and then at her heart subtly. Hermione inclined her head once. She had taken the moment when she was alone in her room to make the animagi chant. Black looked back to her food as if the exchange hadn't happened. 

"Blimey Hermione, we thought you had gotten lost in the snow," Neville said, pulling her in to a hug. 

"We're tougher than that," she joked. 

She watched the ceiling through her dinner, wondering if the snow would turn in to an electrical storm, but it never did.

She supposed that her transformation would have to wait. 


	9. A Winter Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the Winter Ball.

Hermione was feeling oddly nervous. 

Tomorrow they would all head home for the holidays. Well... she would go to the Weasley's with Harry. Her parents were still somewhere in Australia with no idea that they had a daughter and Hermione's heart ached for them. She would find them once she finished school; find them and return their memories so they could be together again. 

For now, she was supposed to be focusing on levitating the decorations on to the tree to decorate for the winter ball. Ginny was on the other side of the hall, bickering with Pansy about the correct way to decorate the tables that surrounded the dance floor area. Hermione finished the tree off and started to head towards the other two girls to separate them. She saw Pansy draw her wand and then watched it flying out of her grip. 

"PARKINSON!" Black's voice boomed out across the hall. Ginny and Pansy leapt out of their skin. Hermione watched as the older witch strode across the floor, her skirts billowing around her. "Do you not think we've had enough fighting for one lifetime?"

"Yes, Professor," Pansy replied, looking sheepish. 

"Then cease this ridiculous squabbling and finish your work, or else you'll run out of time for getting ready and I can imagine what a disaster that would be," Black sniffed. 

Leaving Pansy and Ginny, Black span on her heel, only to spot Hermione watching her with a smirk. Her eyes narrowed and she raised an eyebrow, her lips twitching. Hermione chuckled and turned away to focus on the glittering, gold fabric that needed to be fixed along the walls like garlands. 

"And what are you smirking at, Granger?" Black's voice was low as she appeared beside Hermione. 

"Nothing at all, Professor," Hermione quipped, beginning to lift the fabric with her wand and hang it from the walls. 

"There is never nothing going on in that brain, Granger, I know that for a fact."

"Perhaps I was merely appreciating your ability to snuff out an argument."

"Oh, I know how much you appreciate m-" Black halted as there was a cough behind them. 

"I just came to check how things were coming along," McGonagall said, looking between them with a small amused smirk on her lips and a raised eyebrow. Hermione blushed and finished off the section of fabric she'd been attaching with a flick of her wand. 

"Everything is fine, Minerva," Black replied, sniffing haughtily. "You can trust me to handle a few students, you know."

"Oh I have no doubt of your competence, Bellatrix." McGonagall said. 

Hermione held back a chuckle but her shoulders shook a little as she hung the next lot of fabric. 

"How comforting," Black replied sarcastically. 

"Well it looks as though there's very little left to do." Hermione turned around, having finished the fabric. "Miss Granger, why don't you and the rest of the group go and get ready. Professor Black and I will finish up here."

"Oh," Hermione glanced at Black, but she didn't look back. "If you're sure, thank you Professor." 

As she walked away and rounded up the group that had been helping with the ball, Hermione glanced back at the two professors. They appeared to be deep in conversation and yet, at that moment, Black glanced over at Hermione. She held her gaze for a moment and then turned back to the Headmistress. 

***

"Hermione, you look wonderful," Ginny beamed at her. Hermione blushed and looked down. The dress was beautiful and she had carefully smoothed her hair and pinned it up apart from a few strands that flew around her face. She'd carefully lined her eyes and put on mascara; it made her eyes stand out and look sultry under the black lace mask that matched her dress. She could feel nerves twisting in her stomach. They'd been fluttering since she'd had the crazy idea on completing her makeup. 

_What would she do if I really flirted with her? If I actually tried?_ Hermione had studied her eyes and completed them with a touch of mascara. _What if I could actually make an impact on her?_

She'd dressed, contemplating this. It was crazy, right? Black didn't actually like her. She played with her, like an animal plays with its food, but she wasn't actually interested. 

_Was she?_

"Thanks Ginny, you look amazing too."

"I have a surprise for you," Ginny grinned, bouncing on her heels. "Come on, let's go." 

The portrait opened to let them out and Hermione paused, surprised. 

"Surprised to see us?" Harry grinned. He was in his best dress robes and Ginny used his hand to climb out, kissing him. Ron was standing there, mouth open, staring at Hermione. 

"What're you doing here?" Hermione asked, once the surprise had worn off. She opened her arms to hug them both. Ron's arm lingered around her waist as they released and she tried not to think about it. 

"Thought you might like a date to the ball," Ron shrugged, grinning. "Blimey, Hermione..." 

"But..." Hermione looked at Ginny and frowned. Ginny rolled her eyes and coughed loudly at Ron. 

"Oh, yeah... not like a date date, I get that. But... we missed you. Right, Harry?"

"Damn right," Harry grinned. "Come on, Ginny's told me how much work you've all put in to this, we don't want to make you late."

With a slight reluctance, Hermione took Ron's arm and the four of them headed down towards the hall. She shook off the voice in her head telling her that Ron was here for a second chance and decided to focus on how much she had missed her friends. Outside the door to the hall, students were milling around and they all began whispering once the four arrived. Neville however, with Luna at his side, ran forward to hug the two men. 

"Merlin, we've missed you."

After the reunion, Hermione felt better. Together, they all entered the room. It was packed, with people sitting at the tables, already dancing, music playing. Hermione looked around happily; everyone seemed to be having a good time. 

"Want a drink, 'Mione?" Ron asked as they found a table to claim. 

"Yes, thank you Ron," she smiled as she placed her bag down. He and Harry headed off to fetch the drinks. Not wanting to sit just yet, Hermione stayed standing, looking around the room. She pretended that she wasn't looking for _her,_ but the more she looked and couldn't find the familiar, wild hair, the more she felt her stomach drop. 

"Are you ok, Hermione?" Luna murmured at her side. 

"Oh... yes, sorry Luna. Just... checking everything is ok." Hermione smiled at her friend, who tipped her head to the side and gave her a small smile. 

"You know, I always thought that Professor Black would look good if she wore a bit of colour," Luna said in that airy voice that she had. "Don't you think?"

"Erm..." Luna turned Hermione slightly, so she was facing the entrance to the hall. 

Striding between the tables, Black commanded the attention of everyone in the room. The dress was slightly off-the-shoulder, curving to create a small plunge at her breasts. It It was made of skin-tight velvet; black at the top until it reached a black lace corset illusion around her waist. The rest of the dress fell in a dark green that went in to a small train and swirled around her feet. There was no mistaking the woman, despite the black lace and green gem mask she had over her eyes. 

Hermione's throat was dry. She wasn't sure what she'd expected but that dress definitely wasn't it. 

"Erm... 'Mione?" She startled and realised that Ron was frowning at her, holding out a drink. "You ok?" 

"What? Yes... fine," she croaked and took the drink, taking a gulp. "Just thirsty."

Ginny coughed and laughed behind her and she turned to her, rolling her eyes. 

"Yep, she's really thirsty," she said to her brother, nudging Luna who smiled. Hermione blushed. _They know!_

She took another gulp of the drink and spotted Harry reaching out for Ginny's hand, gesturing to the dance floor. Ron was fidgeting next to her. She knew that fidget. He was plucking up the courage to ask her to dance.

"I'll be right back," she said, before he could get any words out. "Just want to check that everything is ok with... the decorations."

"Oh but-"

"I won't be long," she smiled, turning and hurrying away. She didn't know where she was going but she knew that she needed to get away before he asked. She had a strong feeling he was going to ask her to give them another go and she really didn't want to ruin the evening. 

She ended up at the punch table and decided that another drink would help calm her nerves. Her throat was still dry. Speaking of which... She looked around the room to try and spot Black again. She found her almost immediately, drawn to her. She was talking to McGonagall again and the pair were standing with their backs to Hermione. She took the moment to let her eyes trail down the dress that Black was wearing. It really did cling... she saw Black shift and glance around her. _Maybe i'm not the only one who can tell when they're being watched._ She considered opening her mind and thinking something loudly but she didn't, for two reasons. 

One, Black was surrounded by nearly every Hogwarts student that went to the school and could no doubt already hear a lot of thoughts about her and that dress. Hermione wasn't the only one admiring her from a distance. Two, Hermione wasn't sure what her brain might let loose if she did. She was having a hard enough time concentrating as it was, without struggling to project a sentence. 

She turned away and grabbed the drink she wanted. Her cheeks were on fire. Black was distracting at the best of times but tonight... she turned around with her drink and studied the woman again. _Fuck._ _Why did she have to look so good?_

McGonagall placed a hand on Black's arm briefly, smiling, before heading towards the table that Hermione had just abandoned. Hermione was sure she could see Black sigh, before the woman swirled around and started heading towards her. Hermione's breath caught, but Black hadn't noticed her yet. She put down the glass of punch because she was afraid that the tremor of her hands would make her spill it. Then, Black's eyes, which had been on the door to the hall, began searching the room again. When her eyes collided with Hermione's, the younger witch was ready. 

Black wasn't. She froze, caught off guard. Her lips parted slightly. 

While Hermione's heart was thumping, she managed to scan Black's dress and offered a small smirk before biting her lip. It was probably the bravest thing she'd done with the woman. Even with the distance between them, the younger witch could see that Black's eyes were darkening. Dangerously. Hermione felt a thrill run up her spine. _So, I can make an impact after all._

The older woman pulled herself together and started stalking towards Hermione. 

_Oh god..._

"Granger," Black paused in front of her, not close enough to be inappropriate, but Hermione could feel tension crackling in the air between them. When the woman didn't continue further and simply raked her eyes over Hermione again, the younger witch found her voice. 

"Black." She was pleasantly surprised that her voice didn't shake as much as she had thought it would. "Your dress is... incredible."

"Just my dress?" The other witch smirked. Hermione blushed and bit her lip. Black's eyes lost their playfulness as they zeroed in on the action. 

"No... not just the dress."

Black hesitated a moment and then passed Hermione, her arm grazing against the younger woman's and sending fire across the younger witch's skin, to help herself to some punch. She took a drink and then turned her head to look at Hermione again. 

"I'm still a distraction then, am I, Granger?"

"I don't seem to be the only one distracted, Black." Hermione looked across the hall as she said it, so she missed any reaction Black might have had, but she took another sip of punch and prayed that her bravery would last. 

Careful, pet." Black's voice was lower, closer and Hermione's eyes fluttered as she felt the ghost of a breath across her bare shoulder. 

"Or what?" She replied, turning her head towards Black, meeting her eyes, almost daring her to continue. Those dark, swirling eyes. Hermione would quite willingly drown in those eyes- 

"Hermione, there you are! Do you want to dance... Oh, Professor Black. Erm... hello?" 

Ron's interruption made anger flare inside Hermione, anger that she'd not felt since she'd broken up with him and he'd refused to believe she was serious. Black looked equally angry. 

"Weasley, I see the Ministry hasn't taught you any manners in your time there," Black bit out, turning on Ron. 

"Uhm..." Ron turned bright red. "Sorry I just... 'Mione... I was going to ask Hermione to dance." He looked at Hermione for help. Ron had always been intimidated by Black; in first year she'd made him cry and run out of class and he'd never forgiven her. 

"Ron, I-"

"Well, can't keep your date waiting, can you, Granger?" Black said through gritted teeth. 

"He's not-"

"-Yeah, come on Hermione," Ron said, holding out his arm. Black looked at him in disdain before putting down her cup and, casting one last look at Hermione that the younger witch felt in her soul, she strode off towards the table where the other professors were sitting. "What the heck is wrong with her?"

"Ron, you are such a-" Hermione stopped herself. It wasn't Ron's fault, not really. He was frowning at her. "... Sorry, I just... I'm not really in the mood for a dance right now."

"You sure?" He was still frowning. "Are you ok? Was Black being a bi-"

"-Don't call her that," Hermione interrupted. "You don't know her." 

"What and you do?" He demanded. 

"I-" Hermione faltered. "No... but I just think we shouldn't cast judgements around. Or words like bitch."

"Fine, I'm sorry Hermione," Ron said in that tone, Hermione knew, he used when he didn't think he'd done anything wrong but was trying to pacify her. It made her grit her teeth. "Look if you're not up for dancing the food will be up soon. Let's go sit at the table and catch up, yeah?" 

Hermione agreed, if only to be around the others instead of alone with Ron. She glanced over at Black as they crossed the room. The woman wasn't looking at her. Hermione bit her lip. Damn. It had been going so well. 

***

"Merlin, what's up Black's ass?" She heard a fourth year Slytherin mutter to their friend as she passed them later, meaning to get some fresh air. Ron had been badgering her for a dance all evening and when she'd given in, he'd spent the entire time talking about how much he earned and how he was getting a place in London with Harry and maybe when she finished she could move in with them... She just needed a break. 

"Don't know. But whoever has pissed her off better avoid her. She looks like she's ready to curse someone." The Slytherin's friend replied, glancing back in the direction that Hermione had been going. 

"If you don't want your evening to be over now, I suggest you stop talking about your professor that way," she said to the students. They both froze and turned to hurry away with a muttered 'sorry' each. 

Hermione continued on her path, heading out in to the cold, fresh air. There were a surprising lack of students out in the entrance courtyard, in fact, there didn't seem to be any at all. 

"Get back inside, Granger," Black's voice sent a shiver down Hermione's spine. "I've already removed four couples from the alcoves out here and I don't need a fifth. You and Weasley will have to find somewhere else to have your reunion."

Hermione bristled. 

"Firstly, I'm out here alone."

"Checking it out ahead of time?" Black emerged from an alcove to the left of Hermione, who turned to face her. 

"Secondly, Ron and I are not together. I've told you that."

"I'm not so old that I don't understand the term 'friends with benefits', Granger."

"We're not that either!" Hermione glared at her. Black snorted. "Oh, very mature." 

Black sneered. 

"You're the pupil."

"Oh please, we both know I could have left if I wanted to. Harry and Ron did."

"I know, you're back because you want a 'normal year'. Which I assume means hooking up with your ex-boyfriend at the party." The older witch scoffed and disappeared back in to the alcove. Hermione clenched her fists and marched over to it. She found Black leaning against the wall, glaring at her for following. 

"If you stopped acting like a child for one second-"

"-How dare you, Granger, I-"

"-There's only one person I want to 'hook up with' at this party and we both know it's not Ron!" Hermione finished, her fists clenched. It took her a moment to realise what she'd said. "Oh... fuck." Black was staring at her. "I didn't mean... well I did, but I don't mean..."

Black moved forward abruptly and for one insane moment, Hermione thought she was going to kiss her. Instead, Black's finger pressed against Hermione's lips. She dragged in a breath, her lips moving against it. She heard the door to the entrance hall opening and footsteps. 

"She said she was getting air, she has to be out here, mate." Ron's voice was loud and grated in Hermione's ears. She rolled her eyes and saw Black's flash. 

"Ron, don't you think you ought to, you know, back off? You've been following her around all evening. Maybe she doesn't want to get back together." Harry's voice followed. 

"She does, I know she does."

"Ginny said you might be barking up the wrong tree-" Black visibly smirked and Hermione let out the breath she'd been holding in, trying not to chuckle. 

"Come on Harry, you know Hermione's always loved me. She just doesn't know how to deal with a long distance relationship. But I'm going to tell her I can put in the effort."

"Well, looks like you might have to wait to tell her because it doesn't look like she's out here." They heard Ron sigh and then the sound of the door opening and closing. 

Black listened for a moment and then her finger lifted from Hermione's lips. 

"See?" Hermione murmured. Black looked at her with those dark eyes, shining in the darkness of the night and Hermione realised that they were practically pressed together against the alcove wall. 

"You didn't owe me an explanation," Black murmured, her eyebrow arching curiously. "Why were you so insistent that I got one?" 

"Because... I hate to think of you, thinking that I would do that."

"Hook up with your ex?"

"Hook up with... anyone." Hermione's eyes darted down to the older woman's lips and then back to her eyes. "I don't just want a random hook up."

Black blinked. 

"Granger..." She warned. Hermione waited with bated breath. "It's just a crush..."

"I don't think it is..." Hermione reached up and pushed a stray curl out of Black's face and behind her ear. The older woman's breath was tickling her skin and Hermione gasped when their noses brushed; she hadn't realised she had moved. Black was watching her from under heavy lids. 

"Hermione..." 

"Yes?" She breathed, trembling when the other woman whispered her name. They were so close; all she'd have to do would be move another inch and they'd be kissing... 

Black pulled back suddenly, the cold air rushing between them and making Hermione's whole body object.

"No." Black turned away, arms folded, leaving Hermione staring at her back. "This isn't going to happen."

"But-"

"Get back inside, Granger."

Hermione felt the sting of the rejection and gritted her teeth. She'd been wrong.

She turned on her heel and hurried across the courtyard, away from Black, away from any more embarrassment. 

_You idiot. She doesn't feel the same way you do._

Hermione stumbled back inside the entrance hall, closing the door behind her and leaning against it, fighting back tears. 

_No. You're not going to cry over her. You're not._

She straightened her shoulders and blinked away the tears. 

"Get it together, Hermione," she muttered to herself, before heading back in to the ball, away from the dark lonely figure, still standing in the courtyard. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. am. sorry. I mean I'm not.  
> Thanks to Liz for encouraging me to have Bellatrix approach Hermione when she first spotted her inside. To be honest, I wasn't sure how I was going to do this when I started writing the chapter (you'll recognise that theme regularly) but I think I'm good with how it went. I mean I'll probably hate myself when I write the next few chapters, especially as Hermione and the others are leaving Hogwarts for the holidays...


	10. The Christmas Holidays: Part One.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione and Ginny head home for the holidays, accompanied by Harry and Ron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a heads up; some Ron bashing and a small, sad moment with George. Plus Ginny and Hermione have a good chat. Ginny isn't taking prisoners.

Waking the next morning, Hermione felt heavy. As she stood at her mirror and pressed the wand to her heart, reciting the chant, she sighed. 

Sleep had been difficult; she had stayed up late with everyone, pretending to have a good time when she was really cursing herself for showing her feelings to _her._ She hadn't seen the older woman again that evening and assumed that she'd disappeared back to her rooms. All thoughts of going there and demanding that they talked were quickly stamped out. _She made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want me._

So Hermione had gained a few fitful hours of sleep before the sun rose and now she was putting the last few things in her suitcase to take to the Weasley's house for the holidays. Part of her wished that she wasn't; Ron had seemed adamant when she'd overheard him the night before that they should give their relationship another go and she wasn't sure how much of his persistence she could take before hexing him. She didn't want Molly Weasley throwing her out because Ron couldn't get a message. 

When her bag was packed, she headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. 

"'Mione, we were wondering when you'd get down here," Ron shuffled up to make some room for her. She sat down, grabbing some toast as she looked around the table. 

"Well you all look how I feel." 

"I have never felt so disinterested in breakfast," Ginny groaned, leaning on Harry's shoulder, who chuckled lightly and pushed some food closer to her. 

"You have to eat; it'll make you feel better." 

Hermione agreed and dug in to her food. Harry started discussing plans for the holidays, what they should do etc and Hermione half listened. 

"-Christmas dinner is going to be difficult though; not sure how we're going to fit everyone in." 

"Don't tell me there are even more people now?" Ginny muttered, face practically in a plate of breakfast. 

"Yeah, mum's putting another extension charm on the house," Ron chuckled. 

Hermione was so busy pretending that she was listening that she didn't notice the owls arrive. Nor did she notice the raven, until the letter hit her in the face and fell on her toast. 

"Oof... what the...?" Seeing the raven, she knew who it was from. Annoyed, she grabbed the letter and stuffed it in her pocket. Ginny watched her and raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Hermione guessed that she'd be interrogated again when they were alone together. 

"Everyone ready?" Harry asked, looking around at the group. They all nodded, Hermione unable to eat more of her toast now with the burning weight of the letter in her pocket. 

With one last glance up to the empty top table, Hermione followed her friends towards the entrance hall and out of the front door, heading towards the carriages that would take them to the train. She felt a bitter resentment towards Black although she knew it wasn't her fault. She couldn't make Black feel, or admit feelings that she didn't feel. She couldn't blame her for rejecting her advances if she didn't want them. What Hermione did resent was that Black hadn't stopped her earlier. Before Ron had appeared, interrupting them, before the ball when they were spending time together, Black's response to Hermione had been flirtatious, teasing... could Hermione help it that she'd fallen? 

And in that close, brief moment in the alcove, Hermione was sure that the other woman had wanted her. 

As Head Girl, she ushered students on to the train, frowning when Ron insisted on helping but got in the way instead. 

"Ron, go and sit in the carriage. I've got this," she eventually said, through gritted teeth. 

"You know,'Mione," Ron said, ignoring her as he leaned against the side of the train, watching her usher the last few first years on. "I tried to find you last night when you went off alone. I wanted to talk to you."

"That's nice, Ron."

"I wanted to talk to you about-"

"Right, that's everyone on. Come on, the train's about to leave." 

Ron climbed on ahead of her, a little put out that he'd been interrupted. Hermione knew she should listen to him, explain to him that it was never going to happen, but she didn't want to have this conversation right now. She didn't want to explain to him again why they shouldn't be together. She'd done this once already and it had been a battle then. 

_"Ron, you're not listening. I don't feel the same. I don't want this."_

_"You're just worried about things changing 'Mione. I know all the girls at work are interested but I can't help that."_

_"You are so vapid, Ron. I don't care if they're interested. I'm not breaking up with you because of some girls at work. I'm breaking up with you because I don't want to be with you."_

_"You're scared; I get that but I know you love me-"  
_

Hermione had stormed out and apparated away from the Burrow, spending the rest of the day in Diagon Alley shopping for her return to school supplies. She didn't return until the late evening, when she'd packed her bags and left. Ron had been asleep on the sofa. Harry had smiled sadly at her but understood. She'd had enough of doing what was expected of her. She just wanted a normal year. 

And now, she found that she wasn't getting that at all. From the second that she'd seen Professor Black appear from the woods in her animgus form, Hermione's chance at a normal year had vanished. She'd made that step herself, pushing Black to help her with her transformation. She'd wanted to be closer to the woman. 

"You ok, 'Mione?" Ron asked, waving a hand in front of her face. She stood at the entrance to their carriage compartment and all her friends were looking at her. 

"Uhm, yeah sorry. I just need the toilet. Be back in a second." She turned and pushed her way down the corridor. Once she was hidden in the toilet, she looked at herself in the mirror. The evidence of her sleepless night was plain on her face and she frowned. Digging around in her robes, hoping against hope that she'd put some concealer in a pocket, her fingers brushed the letter. 

Taking it out, she considered throwing it out the window. But really, she thought that would be childish. She couldn't bring herself to do it. So she put the seat of the toilet down and sat, tearing open the letter. 

_Granger ~_

_Should there be a storm during your time away from the castle,  
you will find me where you need to go. _

_In the meantime... try to not let the festivities distract you  
from what you need to do. _

_B._

Hermione stared at the note. She read it twice. No mention of the previous evening. She was equally relieved and surprised. She had expected Black to say that she would no longer be helping Hermione, but instead... She folded the note and slipped it in to her pocket. Better to keep it safe. 

***

The journey passed without Ron attempting to have that conversation with her. She assumed it was partly because Harry was feeding his ego, telling him to tell the others tales about what they were getting up to at the Ministry. She'd have to thank him later; he could clearly see that she wasn't in the mood for talking. 

As soon as the train stopped, Hermione was busy making sure the students had all exited the train in an orderly manner. Ron had gone to follow her but Harry had tasked him with carrying her bags instead. She was going to have to make sure his Christmas present was extra good this year. He was saving her ass. 

When they appeared at the Burrow, Mrs Weasley was the first to greet them, wrapping her daughter and then Hermione in a huge hug. 

"Oh I'm so happy to see you both. Come on, get inside. It's freezing!" She ushered them in the house. Hermione followed Ginny up to her room, which they would be sharing to put away their bags. When they returned downstairs, they found George sitting at the table, grinning at them. 

"Ladies," he pointed to the Christmas tree in the corner. "All donations to the Christmas tree are welcome, provided they are for the holy." 

"If you make one more holy joke, George, I swear..." Ginny laughed, hugging her brother. "It's like you can't hear how bad they are."

"A deaf joke, not bad," he replied, giving Hermione a hug. "What about you, Hermione? Any jokes?"

"You're safe from me today, George. How have you been?"

"Business is booming," he let her go and shrugged. "One day at a time."

Hermione felt that twinge of sadness that she sometimes did around George now. He was still the funniest, most entertaining man to be around but occasionally a shadow would pass over his face, as though he had suddenly remembered that he would have to complete the punchline to his jokes on his own.

Percy had taken some time out of the Ministry to help his brother with Weasley's Wizard Wheezes and had been doing the finances, despite his full time return to the Ministry. It was one of the few things during the months following the war that had been... good. 

Molly bustled in to the room. 

"Dinner will be an hour, is that alright girls?"

"Yes, thank you, Mrs Weasley." Hermione smiled. 

"That's great mum. I'm going to take Hermione on a walk, get some fresh air. Still recovering from the ball last night." 

"Wrap up warm, both of you." Molly warned as Ginny nudged Hermione towards the door. They grabbed their coats, hats and gloves that they'd abandoned on arrival and stepped outside. Hermione knew what it was about but she found that she didn't mind. She needed someone to talk to. 

"So, what's going on?" Ginny asked after they'd been walking for a while. 

Hermione frowned, digging her hands in her pockets. 

"I..." She struggled, not knowing really where to start. A small part of wanted to keep her animagus attempt a secret, even from Ginny. Just for the moment. It still felt like something so... special. "I don't know where to start, Gin."

"Is it about Black? Is it about my brother?"

Of course she knew. It was Ginny. 

"Your brother is... I don't want to be with him. I don't know how many times I can say it. I don't want to hurt him, or your family, but he's starting to make me angry. I just feel so... frustrated. Why can't he hear me? Why can't he move on?" She felt tears well in her eyes and Ginny stopped, pulling Hermione in to a hug. "But that's not it..."

"I know," Ginny said, pulling back from her friend, rubbing her arms. "You like Black, don't you?"

"Yes..." Hermione admitted. 

"Like... a crush? Or something more?"

"Something... more."

"I knew it!" Ginny crowed and then frowned. "So... have you told her? Because honestly, Hermione, I don't particularly like the woman but if she makes you happy-"

"-She's not interested."

"Pfft, pull the other one." Ginny huffed and then saw Hermione's face. "She told you that?"

"I told her at the ball last night that I was in to her; that I wasn't just looking for some fling."

"What did she say?"

"She said 'this isn't going to happen.' She made it perfectly clear that she's not in to me." Hermione rubbed the tears away from her cheeks and glared, offended that she was crying. 

"She's delusional then." Ginny scoffed. "Luna and I can tell a mile off that she's completely in love with you."

"What?" Hermione stared at Ginny, dumbfounded. "No."

"Uh, _yes."_ Ginny rolled her eyes. "God you're both clueless, aren't you? I mean, I've seen the way she looks at you when she thinks you're not looking. The little looks you give each other? I saw you two at the ball before my idiot of a brother interrupted. She might say it isn't going to happen, but that doesn't mean she doesn't want it to."

"But-"

"Ah, but nothing. Hermione, she's older, she's your professor, she's been through a lot of shit. She's probably thinking, it's just a crush, why would this young, attractive woman with her whole life ahead want someone like me? And really I shouldn't because she's my pupil."

Hermione stared at Ginny, dumbfounded. 

"Uhm... I... that makes... kind of sense I guess?"

"I'm turning in to my mother," Ginny rolled her eyes and laughed. "So is that what the letters are about?"

"No that's actually the extra work," Hermione shrugged. "She didn't even mention the whole situation."

"Well what's your plan for Christmas then?" Ginny asked, starting to walk again, her face switching to that of someone plotting. 

"What do you mean?"

"She's coming for Christmas, remember?" Hermione's heart leapt in her throat. Of course... Andy had mentioned that in the bookshop. Black hadn't seemed particularly enthused by the idea though. 

"You don't think she'll actually come, do you?" She asked her friend. 

"Probably not, but it was worth it to see the gay panic on your face," Ginny laughed. Hermione nudged her and laughed. 

"Not fair."

"Well, I can't tell you what to do, 'Mione. All I can say is, maybe just stick it out? If you're really in to her, don't let her go so easily. And with Ron, ignore him. Eventually, he'll give up."

The two friends walked arm in arm back to the Burrow, where they joined everyone else around the table for dinner. Hermione felt a little lighter; she still didn't believe that Black would change her mind, but Ginny was right. That didn't mean that she should stop talking to her completely. She just wouldn't try and make a move again. If anything happened between the two of them, Black would have to initiate. Hermione had already put herself out there. 

It was Black's turn. 


	11. The Christmas Holidays: Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ron gets a chance to speak to Hermione about their relationship but it doesn't go the way he hoped. Hermione gets a visitor.

With only three days before Christmas, the entire Weasley family, Hermione and Harry in tow, headed to Diagon Alley to do some Christmas shopping. Ginny looped her arm through Hermione's, declaring that they would need to go off on their own. 

"Oh, I was hoping-" Ron started. 

"No arguments, Ronald." Ginny said firmly and frogmarched Hermione off. She could see Harry trying not to laugh behind Ron when she waved. 

"I'm going to have to have the conversation at some point," Hermione lamented. 

"You've had it already. Besides, I'm not letting him ruin the shopping." 

Hermione rolled her eyes and laughed, following Ginny. They shopped for two hours before they spotted Harry, Ron and George. Harry waved them over. 

"We're thinking of getting lunch; are you joining us?"

They all agreed that they'd go to the Leaky Cauldron and once inside, they shrugged off their coats and slid on to a table.

"So, ladies, how's the shopping going?" George asked. 

"Good; we still have a few more things to collect," Hermione said, looking over the menu. "How about the three of you?"

"Got everything," Ron grinned. 

"I still have things to find," Harry chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Some of us can't get everything from the same shop."

"I didn't get _everything_ from the same place." Ron nudged him. Hermione and Ginny looked at each other, grinned and said:

"Men," with a roll of their eyes. 

George spluttered in mock indignation and put a hand on his heart as though wounded. 

"I'll thank you not to tarnish me with the same brush as my brother."

"Heaven forbid," Hermione chuckled. 

They ordered food from Tom, who made a great noise over serving 'The Golden Trio' and sat drinking Butterbeers, talking about Christmas. 

"I hope it snows," Hermione murmured, looking out of the window. 

"Wizarding Wireless says it will," George shrugged. "There's supposed to be snow on Christmas eve; that's why mum's invited Andy's lot to stay over instead of joining us Christmas morning. She thought it'd be easier with little Teddy."

"I'm so pleased they're coming to spend Christmas with us," Ginny grinned, shooting a look at Hermione which she tried to ignore, but ended up rolling her eyes. 

"Yeah but did you know Black might be joining?" Harry said. Ron snorted. 

"Can't think of anyone less Christmassy than Black," he took a gulp of Butterbeer and laughed. "She always looks like she got coal in her stocking."

"Don't be such a toad, Ron," Ginny shot back.

"What's gotten your hair in a knot?" He asked. "Thought you didn't like her?"

"I've had a change of heart," she shrugged. "Besides, we all owe her for what she did through the war."

"Yeah but everyone did their part in the war," he replied. He opened his mouth to continue but caught sight of Hermione, who was glaring furiously at him. He gulped, frowned and closed his mouth.

"Well... now that that's over..." Harry said awkwardly, looking between Ron and Hermione, "I say we can all have a brilliant Christmas together and we should all be grateful that it's possible."

They all murmured in agreement or nodded their heads, but an uncomfortable silence had settled over the group. Hermione didn't want to look at Ron, too annoyed by his flippant comments towards Black's involvement in the war to be civil to him. She knew what Black had done, had even heard a little of what the woman had been through and seen a little of how it had impacted her, but no-one but Black could know the full story. It wasn't right for people to judge her. It wasn't fair. 

They ate their food and then had an awkward parting outside the pub, where Ron tried to talk to Hermione and she completely shot him down with another glare. 

"He looks like a crup that's been kicked," Ginny told her when she glanced back. 

"So he should," she replied through gritted teeth. "I cannot believe he'd say that. But he's perfectly happy for people to praise him for his part, over and over again."

"Look, I know he's being an exceeds expectations ass right now, but he's still my brother," Ginny winced. "Go easy."

Hermione sighed and stopped, leaning against Flourish and Blotts. 

"I'm sorry Gin. I'm just... I know he wants to talk to me and it feels like it's hanging over every conversation we have as it is, but then for him to start on her as well..."

Ginny chewed her lip and nodded. 

"I get it, don't worry. You seem to forget I was there when you two broke up. I could hear everything through the wall."

"What do you-"

"Well at the time I just thought he was being annoying and it was the last straw, but you were doing Black's assignment then, weren't you? How long have you been in to her?"

"What? I-" Hermione stopped and frowned. She knew that was the case but at the time it had merely been because she wanted to older woman to be impressed, to look at her with some form of pride... perhaps the crush had been there but it hadn't impacted on the break up. It had just been bad timing. "It wasn't because of that. She's not the reason we broke up."

"Oh I know. I get that. I just mean... you clearly hold her opinion in high regard. No wonder you'd jump to her defence. I just think that maybe you ought to watch how often you do it? People like to gossip and if Luna and I have noticed, it might not be long until other people start to notice as well."

Hermione sighed and chewed her lip. 

"You're right, Ginny. I'll try to be less defensive about her, but I'm not going to stop defending her if it's warranted."

"I wouldn't expect you to," Ginny grinned, pulling her in to a hug. "You're a good person, Hermione. She's lucky that you've fallen for her."

Hermione hugged Ginny tight and then they both shook their heads, laughing at each other. 

"Come on, let's get this shopping done so we can go home." Ginny hooked her arm through Hermione's and they headed inside Flourish and Blotts to continue their search for Christmas presents.

***

"Hermione dear, can you give me a hand with this?" Molly asked, holding out one of the many food parcels she was balancing. 

"Of course," Hermione took the parcel and tried to take a bag from her for good measure. She had shrunk all her presents in to her bag, so she had her hands free. "Wow, what's in this?"

"The potatoes; I've never had so many people for Christmas. I hope I got enough," She put the bag on the floor and insisted that George and Ron carry it between them, despite their grumbles. "Well, do you want potatoes for Christmas dinner or not?"

"Yes mum."

The group, laden with presents and food, stepped back in to the Leaky Cauldron to use the floo network home. Mrs Weasley had refused to let them apparate home; afraid that someone would lose a food parcel. 

When they burst back in to the Burrow, they piled the food away in the pantry and disappeared to their respective rooms to wrap presents. Hermione managed to wrap Ginny's before she came to her room, so they sat and chatted while the rest were done together. 

Hermione had just finished her last present when Mrs Weasley called up. 

"Hermione, can you give me a hand please?"

She grinned at Ginny and placed the last present on the wrapped pile. 

"See you in a bit."

Heading downstairs, Hermione was surprised when she found Andromeda Tonks sitting at the kitchen table. The close resemblance to her sister almost gave her heart palpitations, and she froze at the bottom of the stairs before sense kicked in. 

"Hello Hermione," she smiled, standing up. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good, Andy, how are you? What brings you by?"

"Actually, I was hoping that you and I could have a talk?" Andy gestured toward the door. 

"Erm..." Hermione glanced at Mrs Weasley, who smiled. "Sure?"

Andy led the way outside and they walked in the garden. 

"How have you been, Hermione? I hear that your friends have been concerned about you."

"I- Who told you that?" Hermione frowned. Andy laughed and shook her head. 

"There is no need to be defensive; I merely ask to see if I can be of assistance."

"No, I'm fine. I just had a tough couple of months at Hogwarts is all. A lot happened."

"Like seeing my sister transform?" Hermione's head shot around so fast that Andy chuckled. "I've known about that for a while dear; she told me before you interrupted our conversation in the bookshop in Hogsmeade."

"What exactly did she tell you?" Had Black told her sister about Hermione's plans to become an animagi herself? 

"That you were being 'as insufferable as ever' and 'spied' on her while she transformed. That you confronted her later about being unregistered but told her that you wouldn't report her." Andy smirked. "She finds you quite frustrating."

Hermione felt herself blush but rolled her eyes. 

"Yes, she's told me."

"I have to say, I didn't think you two would be on such good terms after what happened during the war. But she seems to have taken a shine to you."

"You just said she finds me frustrating."

"For Bella that's practically warmth." Andy chuckled. "I always thought you two would get along if you weren't so dead set on disliking each other."

"I don't dislike her."

"Yes... I had noticed." Andy levelled a look at her that made Hermione blush, hard. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. Although you are terrible at hiding it. I could tell the minute that you two started bickering between the bookshelves."

"Am I that obvious?" Hermione groaned. 

"You could feign your disinterest better. Then again, that would probably infuriate her even more."

"She's angry?" Had Andy seen her sister since the ball? Did she know all of it?

"I haven't heard from my sister since we finished our conversation after running in to you. If she is angry, which wouldn't be abnormal for her, I wouldn't know the cause."

Hermione sighed, relieved. 

"So you know what's in the Forest?" Hermione probed instead, wondering if she could get some information out of the older woman. Andy chuckled. 

"Hermione, I could almost be insulted; no matter how much I disagree with Bella's actions, I will not disclose her secrets. You will have to ask her yourself."

"I have. Several times."

"Well, perhaps she wishes to protect you. You've not had the most normal childhood. Maybe she wants you to have a normal year."

Hermione's heart clenched. That was all she had wanted when she had started the year, but now the idea that something lay on the edges of Hogwarts, threatening them, with only Bellatrix Black protecting them... She was as concerned by the idea of Black having to fight it on her own as she was at the idea that there was something dangerous.

"She can't keep getting hurt though. She needs help."

"My sister has never been very good at accepting help."

"No, really?" Hermione snorted. "Hadn't noticed."

"Hermione!" Ron's voice interrupted Andy's laughter and they both turned to see him racing over to them. "Hey Andy, can I get a minute with 'Mione?"

"That's ok, Andy can stay." Hermione replied before Andy could. 

"Uhmmm... I was kind of hoping to get you alone. You know... talk about us?" Ron shuffled. 

"As friends?"

"No. You're my girlfriend Hermione and I-"

"-Ex girlfriend," she interrupted. Andy sat on a nearby bench, pretending to give them space. "We're not together, Ron."

"But we should be. You don't have to be scared. I know you were scared about long distance but I know you love me-"

"-As a friend, Ron. I don't feel the same way you do. I'm sorry," Hermione sighed, hoping he'd see sense. 

"You're wrong, I know you feel the same way I do-"

"I don't, Ron!" She cried, exasperated. "I don't think I ever did!" 

Ron glared at her. 

"So, what? You were just pretending when you kissed me? When you told me you loved me?"

"I do love you but the same way I love Harry. I just... it just took me too long to notice. And I'm sorry for that, I know it must be confusing. But I don't want there to be an us. I've told you that before."

"Ron, why don't you go and cool off?" Andy rose from her seat as Ron opened his mouth to respond, face purple. "Go inside; you should take some time before you say something you'll regret."

"I don't need time, she's the one that's fucking scared of her own feelings." 

"I am not!" Hermione glared. "I just don't have them for you!"

"So what? There's someone else?"

"Maybe there is!" Hermione cried. _Fuck... probably shouldn't have said that._

"Who else would be willing to put up with a frigid, little bookworm who-"

"Enough!" Andy shouted, whipping out her wand. "Get inside Weasley!"

Glaring, Ron spat on the ground and turned, storming back inside. Hermione felt tears prick at her eyes. Andy put away her wand and put her arm around Hermione's shoulders. 

"Would you like to come and stay at my house until we come over for Christmas eve, Hermione? Give him time to cool off?"

Hermione nodded, rubbing away the tears angrily. 

"Yes, thank you, Andy."

"Get your things. I'll talk to Molly."

***

"Hello Hermione, it's good to see you again," Ted Tonks greeted her with Teddy in his arms. "Andy sent a message ahead. I've prepared the spare room for you."

"Thanks Ted." Hermione wiggled her fingers at Teddy, who chortled. "Hi Teddy, you're looking adorable as ever."

"And he's as much of a handful as his mother was," Andy smiled, tickling his stomach. "Come on, let's get you settled."

When Hermione was settled, she helped Andy to prepare dinner. 

"I hope that two days is enough time for Ron and yourself to have the space you need," Andy said as they chopped the vegetables. "I know it must be difficult to be in this situation when you've known each other for so long."

"I don't know," Hermione sighed. "He doesn't seem to want friendship anymore. He wanted me to love him and when i couldn't, he didn't accept it."

"Love is complicated. Just because he loves you one way, doesn't mean that you have to feel the same. You can still love him as a friend or brother and if he's worthy of your love he'll let that be enough. It just might take him some time; I hope he doesn't destroy how you care about him in the process."

Andy laid a hand on Hermione's shoulder and the younger witch leaned in to her. 

"Thanks, Andy. And thank you for letting me stay."

"Of course, Hermione."

They continued cooking in silence and ate together around the table; Ted told them about his day and they talked about Christmas. It felt like a warm family meal and Hermione felt the ache in her chest again for her own family. With the holiday approaching, she missed them even more. Andy placed a hand on hers and Hermione started. She had been staring at her plate in silence. 

"Are you alright, dear?"

"Yes just... it's a difficult time of year. Family... you know."

"I do." 

"We both do," Ted smiled sadly. The three of them sat with the memories, watery eyed and glad to be around each other. A cry from Teddy upstairs brought them out of it. 

"I'll get him," Andy said, rising from her chair. 

"I'll clean up here," Ted rose too. "Hermione, why don't you head to bed? You look like you could do with a rest and I've got everything covered here."

"Are you sure?" She asked, frowning. "I don't mind."

"No dear, sleep."

Hermione headed upstairs and got ready for bed. She hadn't realised how exhausted she was. It had been a long day. When Teddy settled down the corridor, Hermione felt her eyes drooping. She curled up on her side under the covers and was soon fast asleep. 

A loud banging from downstairs woke her. She jerked out of bed, grabbing her wand. She could hear footsteps going downstairs, but before she made it to the door, the banging stopped. She heard voices and tip toed closer to the stairs. 

"-what you think you're doing but I don't appreciate you turning up in this state!" Andy's voice sounded distressed. Hermione crept down the stairs when she heard furniture moving. "How much have you had?"

"Does it fucking matter?" Hermione froze, a few steps from the bottom. She knew that voice. That voice...

"Yes it does _fucking matter._ " Andy hissed. "I have a child here. I have a guest!"

Hermione took the last few steps and stood in the doorway. Andy was glaring, her arms crossed, looking at her sister who was slumped on the table, mumbling a response. Andy spotted Hermione. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry she woke you dear, you can go back to bed, Hermione."

Bellatrix Black's head shot up so fast that she clutched it and winced, her concentration entirely on Hermione. She looked the worse for wear, but it was her utter shock at seeing the young witch, standing in her oversized tshirt in the kitchen, that was most prominent. 

"What are you doing here, Granger?"

"Hermione is my guest," Andy interrupted. "I won't have you being rude to her just because you've had one too many fire whiskeys." 

Hermione rolled her eyes at this. Of course that's what had happened. Her surprise wore off faster than her professor's, and she padded over to the sink, fetching a glass of water. She turned around to find Black's eyes scanning her, taking more time than necessary on her bare legs. She crossed the kitchen and placed the water down in front of the other woman then turned to Andy. 

"I can move on to the sofa if she was promised the guest room?"

"No you won't!" Andy replied sharply. "Bella can sleep off this drunken stupor on the sofa and you will stay in the bedroom."

Hermione glanced once more at Black before nodding and heading to the stairs. Half way up she heard the conversation through hissed whispers. 

"What is Granger doing here?"

"She's staying with us until we go to the Burrow on Christmas Eve."

"Since when are you best friends?"

"She's a friend of the family and she's one of the best and brightest women I've ever met, Bellatrix. You will not scare her away with your attitude! She's been through enough."

Any other conversation that they might have had was lost to Hermione as she reached her room. She clambered back in bed and lay staring up at the ceiling. 

How was she supposed to get any sleep now?


	12. The Scars of your Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellatrix shows Hermione a more vulnerable side...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, trigger warning here. There are mentions of historical self harm in this chapter; nothing happening in the time of the story setting and no flashbacks, but I feel I'd better warn people. I didn't plan this but it just felt so important to have it in here.  
> If you want to avoid it, you want to skip from: ' "Come here," the hoarse voice whispered from across the room...' to the following *** break in the chapter.

Hermione had managed to sleep, but she still felt tired when she woke up. She placed her wand over her heart and performed the incantation, waiting for the second heart beat that she knew would come. Yawning, she padded downstairs, hoping to make a cup of tea to start her morning. There was no one in the kitchen when she crept in and the house was quiet. Still, it was fairly early. She filled the kettle and placed it on the hob, humming to herself as she got the tea bags out of the cupboard. 

"Why are you so awake...?" The voice croaked from behind her and she jumped, spinning around. A bleary eyed Bellatrix Black peered over the top of the sofa in the living room, her hair a mess. 

"Merlin, Black, give a girl some warning," Hermione's heart was thumping hard against her rib cage and she leaned against the worktop. 

Black snorted and disappeared back behind the sofa. 

"You're the one humming louder than the frog choir at the crack of dawn." 

"It's seven am."

"Precisely my point, Granger."

"And I wasn't humming loudly. You're hungover."

"Yeah well..." There was a pause in which Black clearly couldn't think of a good response. "Why are you awake so early?"

"I like mornings," Hermione smirked, glad that the other witch couldn't argue with her in her current state. She turned and got out a second cup, intending to make her a drink as well. 

"Of course you do." Black sounded grumpy, but there was an amused lilt in her tone that had Hermione glancing over at the back of the sofa. 

"Tea? Coffee?"

"Peace and quiet would be nice."

Hermione rolled her eyes and decided that coffee was probably the way to go. Along with a big glass of water. She finished making the drinks as quietly as possible and then carried the coffee and water over to the living room, her tea floating behind her. 

When Black came in to view, Hermione couldn't help but giggle. The older woman lowered the arm that she had thrown across her eyes and shot a glare at her, before her eyes fell to the drinks in her hands. She was lying on the sofa, still in her black dress, although her trademark corset was lying on the floor in a chaotic pile with her boots and cloak. There was a blanket tangled around her feet and her hair looked like she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards. Her eyes were blurry and her makeup was smudged. 

"Is that coffee?" Her voice was raspy and Hermione bit her lip as she nodded, suddenly acutely aware that she was only wearing her oversized tshirt. 

"Water first," she chastised, holding out the glass. Black glared at her but it didn't have the same force as it usually did, perhaps because of the wincing that followed. She sat up and took the water, gulping it thirstily, stopping only when there was a third left. 

"Give me the coffee." 

Hermione rolled her eyes but handed over the other drink, collecting her tea from the air behind her and taking a sip as she surveyed Black. 

"So, fire whiskey again?"

"Bite me, Granger," the other woman said and Hermione's brain took a trip somewhere inappropriate before she snorted and went to sit on one of the chairs. 

"I'm not judging. I just didn't peg you as a woman who didn't know her limits, before this year." Black shot her a look but stayed silent, sipping her coffee although it was piping hot. She closed her eyes and hummed and Hermione hid a smile behind her cup. "I'll take that as a thank you."

"Thank you," Black said mockingly, a sickly sweet smile on her face. Hermione rolled her eyes again and took another sip of her drink. She levelled her wand at the fire and lit it, aware that the room was chilly in the morning with a stone floor. She was tempted to tuck her feet underneath her but wasn't sure she could do it without giving Black a show. "Cold, Granger?" 

She looked back over to the older woman, who was studying her with an intensity that she had not looked capable of moments before. Her eyes lit a blazing fire where they roamed, and Hermione soon became aware that the cold of the room was making her current lack of much substantial clothing very obvious. She had a flashback to when she had been in a similar situation with her current company and the brief look she had received then. This time, Black's eyes were lingering and she sipped her coffee as she perused Hermione, as if lost in thought. It was only when Hermione crossed her legs that Black seemed to realise that she was staring and her eyes shot up to Hermione's face and then away to the fire. It could have been the heat of the coffee, but Hermione was sure that she had seen a slight blush in the older woman's cheeks. Her heart leapt. Surely, this was proof that she hadn't been misreading signals. The woman had some interest in her. 

"It's chilly, but I don't mind the cold," Hermione replied, sipping her tea. She studied the woman in turn, who was now focusing on her own drink. "Do you often come here, after you've been..." Hermione trailed off when Black gritted her teeth. She expected another glare, to be told to mind her own business. 

"No. It's happened once before."

Hermione was taken aback by the resigned honesty of the other woman. She stared at her for a moment, watching how she shifted uncomfortably when she didn't receive an immediate reply. 

"Is it... is it because of the war? All those years..." Hermione knew she was pushing her luck and when Black levelled her with a look that made her heart stop for a moment, she stopped. Because yes, it was furious and dangerous but it was also sad. "I'm sorry. It's not my place or any of my business. I'm not judging you for it. I just... everything I know of what you went through must be the tip of the iceberg, and I..." Hermione sighed, looking down at her cup, losing any will to continue. "Sorry." 

There was silence in the minutes that followed, in which Hermione looked down at the cup of tea in her hand and wished that she could have shut her mouth sooner. She seemed to have no ability to filter herself around the older witch. 

"Come here," the hoarse voice whispered from across the room and Hermione's head whipped up. The other woman was half hidden behind her hair; leaning forward and resting on her thighs. 

Hermione put her tea down and approached carefully. She slid down to sit next to the older woman, who started rolling up her sleeve. She raised her wand and waved it over her arm. The glamour, which Hermione hadn't detected, lifted. She gasped. 

When Voldermort had been defeated, the Dark Mark's had faded to scars, though still recognisable. Black's arm, however, was a mess. Large scars crossed the mark, as if the woman had tried to cut it from her skin. Hermione's hands flew to it automatically but she caught herself and hovered, unsure. 

"Nothing worked." Black's voice emerged from underneath her hair, raw. It was the most emotional Hermione had heard her in all the years she had known her. She slipped from the sofa on to the floor, gently touching the arm and tracing the lines of the scars. She felt Black flinch but when the woman didn't pull away, she continued. She could almost feel the rage, the helpless anguish that the older woman must have felt to reach that point. Not wanting to have any part of him left on her, to banish him from her skin so that he might not have any hold on her from beyond the grave. She glanced up and saw large, onyx eyes watching her carefully through the curtain of curls. 

"He can't hurt you, or anyone, anymore," Hermione murmured, gently. She watched as the eyes blinked. She had never seen the woman so unsure. Suddenly, the urge to do more, to banish the darkness as much as possible, flooded her. She looked down and bent further over, pressing her lips to the skin. 

Black froze, her arm rigid under the soft lips. Hermione felt the muscles tighten and lifted her lips from the older woman's arm, hovering with her eyes downcast, almost afraid of what the reaction might be. Neither of them moved. Slowly, Hermione looked up. 

Onyx orbs were staring at her, curious, bewildered... Hermione couldn't catch all the emotions flitting across her face. She breathed out, unaware that she'd been holding her breath. Bellatrix's eyelashes fluttered and her gaze flicked to Hermione's lips. The younger witch didn't dare move, only dared watch. She watched as the older witch's arm moved, then felt as fingers skimmed her jaw. They were mesmerised, both only watching the other, as the older witch's fingers reached Hermione's chin and lifted it gently. Her lips parted. 

"Hermione? Are you down there?" Andy's voice cut through the moment as the stairs creaked. Hermione felt a wave of disappointment flood her as Black withdrew, quickly disguising the mark again and sitting back on the sofa, arms crossed. She didn't even look at Hermione as the younger woman stood and moved away. 

"I'm here, Andy," she called out, picking up her tea which was now cooler than she'd prefer. Her heart ached from the moment before as she walked in to the kitchen, greeting Andy and little Teddy at the bottom. "Morning."

"Good morning. I see you've made tea."

"Yes; would you like a cup?"

"Desperately." Andy glanced over to the sofa and saw black curls over the top of it. "Good morning, Bella. Sleep well?"

"Not at all. Granger stole my bed and then woke me up making her tea this morning."

"Hermione didn't steal your bed, you weren't expected. And I can smell coffee, so she obviously made you a drink." Andy winked at Hermione and tickled Teddy, who chortled in her arms. 

Her sister snorted and then her hair disappeared behind the sofa; she was lying down again. Hermione busied herself making tea, her brain whirling with what had just happened. For this woman, Bellatrix Black, famed for her powers and her strength to feel that she had no other option, to be so marked by someone that she did that... Hermione's heart ached and she frowned over the tea. She touched her jaw, where the other woman's fingers had traced before and shivered. There was such a depth in those eyes that Hermione was completely lost. She passed Andy her cup of tea and murmured that she was going upstairs to get dressed, then hurried as fast as she could without seeming odd. 

***

Locked in the bathroom, Hermione stood under the shower, washing her hair. It occurred to her suddenly that the woman downstairs, the one who had pushed her away only a few days ago, had just made herself so vulnerable to Hermione that it might have shocked them both. It wasn't just her revealing her mark to Hermione, it was the way she had looked at her. The way she'd touched her gently. The way that Hermione had responded. Oh Merlin, she had kissed her arm. Sure, it wasn't her lips but she had kissed her. She wondered how Bellatrix was feeling. 

_When did I start thinking of her as Bellatrix?_

Hermione turned off the shower, climbing out and wrapping a towel around her. She looked at herself in the mirror and ran her fingers over her lips. There was a rap at the door. 

"I won't be a second," she called. The rap came again more insistently. Frowning, she checked that the towel was covering everything and unlocked the door, peering out. Bellatrix stood outside. "Bel- uhm, Black, what's so urgent?"

Bellatrix blinked, momentarily distracted by the image in front of her. Then her indifferent mask slipped back over her face and she leaned against the door frame. 

"Are you going to be in there all morning, Granger? Only some of us would like to get in there before all the hot water gets used up."

"I won't be a minute," Hermione rolled her eyes. Bellatrix - _no - Black,_ tapped impatiently. "If you wanted a shower that urgently you could have shared."

The older woman gaped as Hermione grinned triumphantly, closing the door in her face. She quickly dried herself and got dressed, cleaning her teeth before grabbing her things and opening the door. The older woman was still outside. Hermione smirked at her as she walked passed her and went to her room. She was putting her things in the drawer when the floorboard outside her room creaked. She froze. Was it....

There was no knock, no one entered. Then Hermione heard the bathroom door close and the shower turn on. 

_Fuck. Did she almost come after me?_

Hermione went downstairs and found Andy cooking breakfast. She jumped in to help and was serving up pancakes when Bellatrix came downstairs. The woman was fully dressed again and she eyed Hermione with a smirk. Hermione rolled her eyes in response and gestured to a seat at the table.

"Pancakes?"

"How very domestic of you, Granger," Bellatrix sneered. Hermione snorted; the older woman was clearly trying to regain the control she'd had before by reverting to snarky comments. Well Hermione could give her a run for her money. 

"Pancakes are good for hangovers, Black."

"So is good coffee, something that my dear sister appears to lack."

"You are such a snob, Bella," Andy replied, gesturing for Ted to join them from where he was in the living room. 

"I have good taste," her sister responded, sitting down anyway, her foot on the chair so that her knee was hooked under her chin. 

"You need manners too," Andy raised her eyebrow and gave her a stare until she dropped her leg and sat properly. Hermione chuckled and Bellatrix shot her a glare. 

"What're you chuckling at?"

"Nothing," Hermione shrugged, smirking as she helped herself to a pancake. A knowing look passed between Andy and Ted across the table and they tried to control their smiles. Bellatrix snorted, regarding Hermione for a moment before grabbing a pancake for herself. 

"Bella, are you staying with us until we go to the Burrow tomorrow night?" Andy asked. 

"I've already told you how I feel about spending Christmas with my students." 

"Well perhaps you can think of it as spending Christmas with your family." 

Bellatrix ate her pancake and didn't respond. Hermione shot a sympathetic look at Andy and chewed her lip. 

"Honestly, I was hoping you'd go," she said, looking at Bellatrix. "I'm sure Harry and Ron have missed how lovely you are."

The older woman shot her a look, her lips twitching in to a smirk. 

"You think they've missed me?"

"Oh yes, they were saying just the other day how much they missed your biting wit and sarcasm. It made them feel so comfortable in class."

"Well... I'd hate to deprive the golden trio." Bellatrix played it off with an evil grin. "I suppose I could make an appearance."

Andy mouthed a 'thank you' to Hermione who smiled at her and shrugged. Andy looked around the table and smiled. 

"Well then, what shall we do with the rest of our day?"


	13. A Winter's Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's essentially fluff. Just so much fluff.

After a lazy morning and a lunch spent together, Hermione slipped out of the back door and in to the garden, wrapping her cloak tightly around her. She just needed a moment to breathe. Tomorrow evening they would return to the Burrow and Ron's words were swirling around in her head. 

_"Who else would be willing to put up with a frigid, little bookworm who-"_

She bit her lip and pulled the cloak tighter. It was chilly; perhaps it really would snow soon. 

"My sister will be disappointed if you get a cold at Christmas," Bellatrix's voice sent a flood of warmth through Hermione, so much so that she didn't notice that the witch had also cast a warming charm. She felt her appear at her side, dressed in her own cloak. 

"I won't get a cold," Hermione murmured, focusing on the garden. She felt dark eyes studying her and then heard a little huff of breath. 

"You're the most stubborn, frustrating person I've ever met, Granger."

"I could say the same about you, Black."

There was a pause and Hermione sighed. Her brain was still scrambled, despite the oddly calming effect the presence of Bellatrix had. 

"You've gotten good at hiding your thoughts," Bellatrix trailed off, as though she'd wanted to continue. As though she was disappointed. 

"I was just thinking about Ron," Hermione explained. Bellatrix had been so open with her earlier, so raw, it wouldn't be fair to close off to her now. 

"I was under the impression that you were spending your holiday at the Burrow. I wouldn't have come here if I had known..." Bellatrix's voice trailed off again and when Hermione glanced to her right, she saw that the older woman was staring at the garden in what appeared to be deep thought. "He's why you're here."

"He isn't taking our break up well. Tried to convince me to give it another go." Bellatrix's eyes narrowed slightly and her jaw clenched. Hermione would have missed it had she not been looking directly at her. "Andy was there when he getting upset. She offered me a place to stay while he calmed down."

"I'm not usually one to repeat myself but..." Bellatrix paused, then turned her head to look at Hermione. "He is an idiot. He would have held you back."

Hermione remembered the last time she had said that, when they were standing in the moonlight, at the edge of the forest and then something had moved, interrupting them. 

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, Granger," she replied, her voice cautious. "If I insult him, you will only defend him, so I see little point in speaking plainly. But it is not only your school grades that speak for themselves."

"He's not all bad..."

"And yet you are here, instead of there."

Hermione chewed her lip. She couldn't deny it; she had left to avoid Ron. She'd been avoiding him ever since the ball, but this was a new level. If only he would accept...

"He said things he didn't mean. I couldn't stay. If he had said more we'd have both regretted what followed."

"What did he say?"

"I... It doesn't matter now." Bellatrix pursed her lips and Hermione noticed that she had clenched her fist. She frowned. "Why does it matter?"

Bellatrix was quiet for a moment, looking over at the pond with its little fountain trickling. 

"It shouldn't," she frowned and then turned as if to go. Hermione reached out a hand to stop her. 

"Why does it matter to you?"

Bellatrix studied her for a long moment and Hermione began to feel as though the woman had somehow gained access to her thoughts, even though she knew that she hadn't. 

"You're my student and therefore it is my duty to protect you," she eventually replied, although her voice was more husky than before and a little bitter. Hermione didn't believe her for a second. 

"He called me a frigid, little bookworm. 'Who else would put up with' me? He was going to say more but Andy cut him off." Bellatrix had gone rigid and was staring at the house like she might burn it down. Hermione realised she was still holding on to her arm and released it. The older woman looked at her. "I suppose I can't argue with him; we never did take things as far as he wanted."

"That doesn't make you frigid. It means you have good sense and taste. Bookworm is nothing to be ashamed about. Frankly his insults leave a lot to be desired; I've made better ones about him."

"Yes, you have."

"And doubtless will again."

"I can't say I'd mind that, at the moment," Hermione gave her a small smile and Bellatrix smirked a little before frowning. 

"Did Andy hex him?"

"No."

"I would have."

"Not exactly something a teacher should be promoting..." Hermione teased gently, before relenting. "Whatever your reasons, thank you. But I can handle Ron, and will do, if he repeats himself when we go tomorrow."

Bellatrix studied her again, a small, almost proud smile on her lips despite the anger that lingered. Then she broke eye contact and cleared her throat. 

"I have to go and fetch my things if I'm being forced in to being sociable," she said, drawing her wand. "I'll be back soon."

"It looks like it's going to snow; do you think there will be a storm?"

"If there is, we both know what to do." She shot Hermione a smirk which the younger woman returned. "See you, Granger."

She headed through the garden, out of the gate and then was gone with a small pop. Hermione stared at the empty spot for a minute or two before turning and heading inside. 

"Hermione, there you are," Ted smiled. "Would you mind watching Teddy? I have to run to the store and Andy is still out."

"Erm..." Hermione stared at the baby who was napping in his cot. "Sure. It's the least I could do."

"Thank you. He shouldn't wake up but if he does, you'll be fine." He talked Hermione through where everything was and then left with another whisper of thanks. Hermione picked up the kettle and made herself a drink, then settled on the sofa with her book. She managed to read for around half an hour before Teddy stirred and began grumbling. She put down the book and went over to him. 

"Hey Teddy... what's the matter?" He grumbled louder. "Hungry?"

Hermione picked the boy out of his bed and placed him on her hip, wandering over to the kitchen to heat up the milk like Ted had instructed. She managed to get it done before Teddy started shrieking and sat in the chair to feed him. When he'd done she burped him, and then sat him on her knee like she'd seen Ted do. He chortled happily. She bounced her knees a little, holding on to him tightly to make sure he didn't fall. She began to sing him a little song, bouncing him on her knee. She paused when the door opened behind her and she heard the return of one of the family. 

"Hey, he woke up, but it looks like he likes me," she said, without turning her head, bouncing and pulling faces at Teddy, who chortled and rocked back and forward a little in glee. 

"It certainly does..." Hermione felt the back of the sofa move as Bellatrix leaned over it, looking down at the pair. "Where are Andy and Ted?"

"Out. Last minute shopping." Hermione looked up to find Bellatrix looking at Teddy with a softness that took her breath away. "Do you want to hold him?"

Bellatrix shifted and shook her head, frowning. 

"Not really a baby person."

"Me neither," Hermione shrugged. "But I forget that around a select few."

Bellatrix hummed noncommittally, and shifted closer over the back of the sofa. Teddy grinned at her and rocked back and forward harder. 

"He likes you," Hermione smiled. 

"Bad judge of character," she snorted. 

"Not really," the younger woman replied. "Did you get all your things?"

"Yes. Minerva collared me to ask about my holiday plans for a moment but it didn't take too long."

"You like her," Hermione chuckled and practically heard Bellatrix's eyes roll in response. 

"I respect her." 

"Yes, but you like her too."

"Interfering and nosy, just like her favourite student," came the response, but with no bite in it. There was a fondness about the way Bellatrix spoke about McGonagall and it made Hermione smile. 

"Then I suppose you like me too."

There was only silence to meet the statement and after tickling Teddy to make him laugh again, Hermione glanced up. Bellatrix was looking at her, instead of Teddy and when Hermione met her eyes she raised an eyebrow and broke contact, standing up straight. 

"You're tolerable, I suppose."

"But not handsome enough to tempt you?" Hermione replied quickly. Bellatrix chuckled but didn't respond. "You've read Pride and Prejudice."

"Andy gifted it to me," the older woman responded, walking around to sit on the sofa, hooking one foot up to rest on the cushion and letting the other dangle. She leaned on her knee and hooked her arms around the leg. "I found it interesting."

"Have you read many muggle books?" Hermione asked, bouncing Teddy but unable to tear her eyes away from the other woman. 

"A few. Andy introduced me to some of their films and music too."

"Wow." Hermione laughed and looked back at Teddy. "Never would have called that, huh Teddy?"

The baby chortled again as she tickled him. 

"Why should I not learn about muggles?" Bellatrix asked, leaning against the back of the sofa with her body facing Hermione. 

"I don't know... I'm glad you have. I have a few books I could lend you, if you'd like? If you haven't read them of course."

"If you'd like," Bellatrix responded casually, with a small shrug, as if she didn't mind either way. Hermione grinned. 

"Great."

They sat next to each other, Hermione entertaining Teddy and Bellatrix watching them, for a few minutes before the door opened and Ted hurried inside. 

"It's snowing out there!" He exclaimed, shutting the door. "How'd you get on with... oh." He spotted them sitting together and grinned. 

"It's snowing?" Hermione smiled, craning her neck to look out of the window. Flakes were floating down outside, not at any real pace, but enough to show. "Oh, how wonderful."

Ted shed his coat, hat and scarf before stashing the bags he'd come back with in a cupboard. He came over to join them and chuckled. 

"Well, isn't this a lovely scene?" 

Bellatrix rolled her eyes at him. 

"I'm merely making sure that Granger doesn't drop the baby. I'd never hear the end of it from you or Andy if she did."

"Hey!" Hermione cried in mock outrage. "You're the one who won't hold him."

"I'm already having to suffer through Christmas with my students, don't you think that's enough torture without holding something that might throw up on me at any moment?"

"I thought you were doing that because Andy wanted you to and you missed torturing Ron and Harry?" Hermione shot back, chuckling, as Ted tickled Teddy from behind and the little boy chortled. 

"Teddy and I both want you there as well," Ted added, throwing a wink at Hermione who giggled harder, passing the baby over to his grandfather. 

"The baby told you that did he?" Bellatrix rolled her eyes.

"Yes. He said 'if great-aunt Bella came to Christmas, I'd be the happiest little boy in the world'," Ted chuckled, blowing on Teddy's belly while he chuckled and shrieked with joy. Hermione saw Bellatrix's lips twitch in amusement.

"How eloquent for a baby," Bellatrix replied dryly. "At this point, Granger is the only one that hasn't practically begged me to go to Christmas."

"And I won't, either," Hermione replied, hiding her grin. Bellatrix raised an eyebrow at her. "Well if I asked you to go, you'd probably do the opposite just to annoy me."

Ted laughed out loud and stood, carrying Teddy in to the kitchen, leaving the two women playfully bickering. 

"What makes you think I spend enough time thinking about you to try and annoy you?"

"Maybe you're not the only mind reader here." 

"I don't need to listen to your thoughts; you're easily predictable."

"Oh really? What am I thinking right now?" Hermione grinned, turning to face her fully on the sofa and raising an eyebrow. Bellatrix remained in her casual lounging position, half facing Hermione with her arm hooked on top of the back of the sofa, one leg up on the sofa and the other dangling. She smirked. 

"You're thinking that you want to go out in the snow."

Hermione chuckled and shook her head. 

"Not even close, although now you mention it, I do love the snow."

Bellatrix hummed noncommittally and looked out of the window. The snow was still falling, heavily now, swirling around outside the house. She glanced over to the kitchen and noticed that it was empty; Ted had taken the young boy upstairs. The older witch looked over at Hermione again, who was still watching the snow fall, her chin resting on her knees and her arms wrapped around them. Bellatrix shifted, taking the quiet moment to study the younger woman. Hermione pretended not to notice, sensing that the older woman needed this quiet, uninterrupted moment. 

"You were thinking about my mark?" Hermione looked at her carefully and nodded. Bellatrix continued bitterly; "About how you pity me."

"I won't say that I don't wish that there could have been another way; that you could have somehow not gone through what you did. But it's not pity. I see you as the most incredible, brave, intelligent woman who put her life, her sanity, at risk for the possibility of a better future for everyone. For you to go through that and survive..." Hermione bit her lip. "There are no words... no limit to the gratitude and thanks that are owed to you."

Bellatrix's face was blank and Hermione didn't try to search for an emotion. She knew that the woman had already been so open with her once already; it was unlikely that she would let her see her be emotional again today. After a moment, Hermione stood to go to the kitchen and give the woman some space. As she passed her she paused and tentatively placed her hand on the woman's shoulder in what she hoped would be a comforting gesture. As she made to move, cold, thin fingers caught her hand briefly, holding it in place. Bellatrix didn't look up, but Hermione paused until she was released and then continued in to the kitchen. 

The moment, seemingly small, made her heart swell. A small smile on her lips, she set about making dinner, deciding it would be nice for Andy to return to a meal. As she prepared the food, she heard movement. Looking over her shoulder she watched Bellatrix wrapping herself in her cloak. Her heart clenched; was she running away?

"Just a walk... I'll be back," Bellatrix reassured her when she saw the look on Hermione's face. The younger witch relaxed and nodded, not questioning her any further. The older witch left and Hermione went upstairs to check on Ted and Teddy and to ask him if there was anything in particular she should prepare for dinner. 

***

When the door opened, signalling the return of Andy in a flurry of snowflakes, Hermione had filled the kitchen with a warm and delicious smelling dinner, almost ready for eating. 

"Oh Hermione, that smells wonderful!" Andy grinned, shutting the door and dropping her bags. "You shouldn't have."

"I wanted to," the young witch smiled, checking the vegetables. 

Andy removed her layers and greeted Ted, who had come downstairs to meet his wife. 

"How's Teddy?" 

"Ready for bed. I've just bathed him and put him down. He's still awake if you want to say goodnight."

She kissed him and hurried upstairs. Ted came to join Hermione. 

"Everything alright?"

"Yes; I found everything just fine."

"I meant with..." He trailed off. 

"Oh... yes. She's needed a walk."

"Maybe I should get her; it's snowing again."

The snow had stopped for a short while when Bellatrix had left the house, but Hermione suddenly realised that had been some time ago. 

"That's ok Ted; if you can set the food out I'll go and find her. I'm too warm anyway."

"You sure?"

"Yes, no problem." She handed over the oven gloves and headed over to the door where she slipped on her cloak and boots, then headed out in to the snow. It wasn't falling as heavily as before, but the layer that had settled crunched under her feet. She shivered but her face lit up with glee; being out in the snow made her happy. She only hoped Bellatrix hadn't gone far; she didn't want the food getting cold or to get lost in an unfamiliar area. She decided to check the garden first, just in case. 

"Bel- uhm..." She started to call but then stopped. She hadn't said her name out loud yet and definitely not to the witch and she wasn't sure if the other woman would appreciate it. But it felt wrong to be calling out 'Professor Black'. Her feet crunched through the snow as she circled the house, looking for a figure through the snow. "Black... are you out here?"

She walked through the garden, down to the bottom, which was slightly hidden from sight. Finding it empty, she almost turned around, but then she realised there was a small stile, heading in to the woods. Glancing back, she decided that it would be best to look and climbed over it, finding herself in between quiet trees in falling snow. The light from the house lit a small amount of the trees, casting her shadow between them. Her breath caught. _Beautiful..._

"Black? Are you out here?"

Only silence greeted her. She sighed and turned to go. 

A snowball hit her in the middle of the back and she gasped, catching the wall in time to stop her tripping over the stile. A loud cackle sounded behind her and she turned to see Bellatrix appearing from behind a tree, another snowball in hand. 

"Don't you dare!" She squealed as she watched the older woman raise her arm, but the ball was hurtling towards her before she could move. She threw up her arms and felt it shatter against them. "Oh... that's how it is?" 

She laughed and leaned down, gathering up some snow. 

"There'll be a detention for you if you throw that, Granger," Black said sternly, but Hermione could see her eyes sparkling in the light from the house. She threw the snowball and Black dodged it, going behind the tree. "That's one detention!"

"If you give me detention you'd have to admit you spent the holidays with me and had a snowball fight," Hermione teased, gathering more snow. Bellatrix appeared with another snowball and ran forward, throwing it at her. Hermione retaliated with two. The second one hadn't been expected and hit her squarely in the chest. 

"Oh, you've had it now, Granger." 

The snowballs flew back and forth until both witches were panting and red in the cheeks. Hermione was laughing and Bellatrix looked wild and joyful; a far cry from previously. 

"Truce for dinner?" Hermione suggested in between breaths. 

"Truce," Bellatrix agreed. "But to be continued."

"I look forward to it," Hermione grinned. Bellatrix climbed over the stile and turned around, watching as Hermione joined her. 

"I like the snow too," she admitted and then they both walked back to the house in silence. When they went through the door, Hermione cast a spell to dry them off, as Andy and Ted looked a little bewildered. 

"What happened?" Andy exclaimed. "We were getting worried."

"Granger fell in a snow drift," Bellatrix smirked. 

"Then why do you look like you did too?" Andy raised an eyebrow, as Hermione gave Bellatrix a mock-affronted look.

"Because I fell in trying to get her out of the one she'd thrown herself in to," Hermione replied. Bellatrix gave her a mock-glare. Andy and Ted exchanged another look and burst out laughing. 

"Come on; the food is getting cold."

They ate their dinner and the conversation was filled with laughter. Hermione felt the best she'd felt in a long while and the sparkle in Bellatrix's eyes when she looked at her made butterflies burst in her stomach. She had thought she couldn't feel any more for the woman, but this day had proved otherwise. This softer, more fun side of Bellatrix was a gift to see and Hermione was determined that she would see more of it. 

"Shall we watch a film?" Ted suggested as they settled in the living room. 

"Sure," Hermione smiled. "Which one?"

"Why don't you pick?" Andy suggested. 

"Are you sure?"

"Pick a film, Granger," Bellatrix rolled her eyes with a smile playing on her lips. Hermione scoffed but headed to the shelves that contained films with a smile on her face. She soon spotted the perfect one. Sliding the film in to the TV, she turned around. Andy and Ted had settled together on the sofa, curled up together smiling. Bellatrix was sitting on the smaller sofa, looking at her. She glanced at the space beside her and felt those butterflies again, before taking the seat and tucking her legs up on the sofa. The film began to play. 

When the Grinch was mentioned, she heard Bellatrix cough slightly. Smirking, she glanced over at her. Bellatrix shot her a look with a raised eyebrow, but said nothing. 

Throughout the film, Hermione was distracted by Bellatrix. Sure, parts of the film were childish and silly, but watching the witch rolling her eyes and scoffing only made her smile. When the Grinch started feeling and saved Cindy Lou, Bellatrix was silent, eyes glued to the screen. By the end she was rolling her eyes again, but Hermione could tell it had meant something to her to watch it. 

"Good choice, Hermione," Andy smiled, getting up. Ted followed her. "We're heading to bed; will you both be alright?"

"Fine, Andy, thank you," Hermione stood up and gave her a hug, then Ted. She watched Bellatrix and Andy exchange a long hug that felt filled with love and then Ted wink at his sister-in-law as she rolled her eyes but offered him a smile. They headed upstairs and Hermione turned to Bellatrix. "Are you going to sleep?"

"Not for a while. If you're tired you should-"

"-I'm not." Bellatrix hummed in response. "Shall I make a hot chocolate?"

"You know she has some firewhiskey stashed away..." Bellatrix said, chuckling at Hermione's expression. "Joking, Granger. Hot chocolate will do nicely."

Hermione made the drinks and Bellatrix put more wood on the fire. When she returned with the drinks she hesitated, wondering if she should sit on the other sofa now. 

"Just sit down," Bellatrix rolled her eyes, moving to make room. Hermione sat cross legged on the sofa, turned slightly towards the older woman. "You chose that film on purpose."

"Yes."

She frowned; it was only slight but Hermione was so used to her expressions now that she spotted it. 

"Why?" 

"It's one of my favourites."

She sighed. 

"I know that. But you spent half of it sneaking glances at me."

"You wondered what a Grinch was. I thought this might settle any doubts you might still have from that day at the bookstore." 

She looked at her mug of hot chocolate, her thumb stroking the rim. Hermione found herself fascinated by the little movements. 

"You are aware that I am your Professor? That I am more than twice your age?"

Hermione tensed, feeling the tone of the conversation shift to something more like the end of the night at the winter ball. 

"Yes, I'm aware."

"I am not someone that you should be interested in, Granger." Bellatrix didn't look up from her mug as she said it. "Weasley is not the only one who would hold you back."

"You wouldn't-"

"Don't be so naive." She snapped, her knuckles white as she clutched the mug tighter. "This is not something that is in the realms of possibility, Granger."

Hermione sat for a moment, breathing, looking down at her own mug. She had promised herself that she wouldn't be the one that made the next move. That it was on Black. So maybe this was too. What had Andy said...?

Hermione took another breath and looked up. 

"Ok then."

Bellatrix blinked. 

"What?"

"Ok then." Hermione gave her a small, slightly sad smile. "I know how I feel but that doesn't mean you feel the same. I understand that. If I pushed or chased you against your wishes, I'd be no better than Ron." She stood up from the sofa with her hot chocolate in hand. "I wouldn't ever want you to feel like that."

"Where are you going?"

"To bed. I don't want you to think I'm staying up in hopes of something happening."

"Granger, I'm not concerned that you'd pounce on me if that's what you're saying."

Bellatrix looked unsure, obviously thrown by the change in direction. 

"I hope you know me better than that, at least," Hermione gave a small chuckle and shook her head. "But you're right. Why would you want to be with someone as young as me? I know that some people are still under the impression that you fought on the wrong side but of the people that know that's not true... you could have anyone. I am not as naive as to think that being a member of the 'Golden Trio'" Hermione winced, "gives me any rights to demand affection. That's not who I am. I've told you what I want and you've told me it's not a possibility. I respect you and I won't bring it up again."

With that, Hermione turned and headed to the stairs, pausing at the bottom. 

"Goodnight."

She left Bellatrix sitting in the living room and went to bed, although she lay there for hours going over what had happened. She felt a twinge of guilt at the slight manipulation; backing off in hopes that it would make Bellatrix step up. But she had truly meant what she said. She wouldn't push anymore for Bellatrix's affection. She doubted she could just be civil; they'd never managed that before, but she would do her upmost to avoid any further flirtations or behaviour like the snow fight. Not unless Bellatrix initiated. 

Hermione rolled over and looked out of the window. She hadn't pulled the curtains closed and she watched the snow falling until her eyes started to droop. 

_I don't know if I'll ever stop caring about her now I've started..._


	14. Christmas Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas eve...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gina - you requested this snowball moment...

The next morning, the light woke Hermione up; brighter than it had been for days. She blinked blearily and cursed herself for not closing the curtains. Moving slowly, she dragged herself from the bed and went to the window, intending to draw them and go back to sleep. But when she spotted the scene outside she rubbed her eyes and stared, a huge smile growing on her face. 

Snow covered everything. The garden, the trees of the forest at the end of it... everything was white. She stared, watching lazy flakes floating down to join the blanket, resting on the window. Perfect weather for Christmas. She wondered if the Weasley's would have a snowball fight... her mind drifted to the previous day and her smile grew. Then, the reminder of the last conversation she had with Bellatrix... _God I need to start thinking of her as Black again_... surfaced and her smile disappeared. 

Sighing, she drew the curtains and performed her chant before climbing back in to bed. Wrapped in her duvet she buried her head in the pillow and tried to go back to sleep, but no matter what she did, she couldn't. So, grumpily, she threw her legs over the edge of the bed and got up. Hesitating at the door, she decided to get dressed before going downstairs. 

She was quiet today, making sure to cast a silencing charm to avoid waking up the older woman on the sofa with the sound of the kettle. She settled on a cup of coffee, sitting at the kitchen table and sipping it carefully as she considered the day. They would be travelling to the Weasley's in time for dinner and before that she had no idea what the Tonks' had planned. She knew that it would probably be awkward between her and Bel- Black, and she didn't want that to cause any issues. She would be civil, friendly even, but she would try to keep the line of professor and student intact. That was what was best... and if it infuriated Black in the meantime, all the better. 

She heard a grumble from the sofa and her head swung round. She heard movement but then there was silence and she assumed Black had gone back to sleep. She looked back in to her coffee and bit her lip. 

"Are you going to make me some of that?" The grumpy morning voice appeared before a bleary-eyed Black, squinting over the top of the sofa. 

"if you'd like," Hermione replied, standing and pouring a mug. She headed over to the living room and hesitated only when she saw the bottle on the table. It was not as empty as it could be, but it still made her heart ache. There was no glass; it looked like Black had just gone for the bottle and took it neat. The younger woman placed the coffee down on the table in front of her and headed back to the kitchen table, ignoring the raised eyebrow she received. 

She grabbed her coffee, finished it and then washed up. The stairs creaked, announcing the arrival of Andy, who was carrying a sleepy looking Teddy. 

"Morning," she whispered. 

"Morning," Hermione smiled. "Would you like a drink?"

"Please Hermione," she said gratefully, preparing Teddy's breakfast. He squirmed in her arms and Hermione smiled at him when she had placed Andy's drink in front of her. 

"What's the plan for today?" She asked, leaning against the counter. 

"No plans," Andy smiled, finally finishing Teddy's breakfast. "Was there something in particular that you wanted to do?"

"No..." Hermione trailed off and glanced towards the sofa again. Black curls were visible over the top. "Nothing in particular." 

"Are you happy staying in the house, or did you want to go out and do something?"

"I might take a walk..." Hermione looked out of the window. 

***

The day passed. Hermione hadn't gone outside after all; the snow had begun to fall thick and heavy. Instead, she and Ted had done a jigsaw at the kitchen table while Andy had taken Bellatrix upstairs to 'help with Teddy'. Hermione couldn't help but be suspicious; Andy had clearly noticed that something was different between them. It had mainly been the fact that Hermione wasn't rising to anything Black was putting out there. 

"Come on Hermione, you've not put a piece in for a good five minutes," Ted woke her from her daydream. 

"Sorry Ted."

"That's alright. Want to talk about it?"

"About what?" She tried, looking at the pieces in front of her. 

"About the reason my wife has taken her sister upstairs for a conversation."

Hermione sighed, placing a piece in to the puzzle. 

"We talked last night. I told her that I'd drop... well... I told her that I understand that she doesn't feel the way I does and that I'd never want her to feel uncomfortable, so I'd drop it." Hermione shrugged, putting in another piece. "I figured the easiest way to do that would be to keep things as close to the student/teacher aspect as possible. Be civil and friendly but not engage in any of that... banter?"

Ted studied her for a moment with his kind eyes and then began putting pieces in the puzzle again.

"Sometimes, Hermione, people are more scared of believing that there could be a chance of happiness than they are about not being happy."

Before Hermione could respond, the two sisters appeared on the stairs, prompting her to focus on the puzzle. 

"Well, you two look like you're having fun," Andy smiled. Hermione glanced up to smile at her and caught sight of Bel-Black, standing behind her sister, studying Hermione. 

"Ted's better than I am," she replied, looking back to the man in front of her who chuckled. 

"Hermione's being modest."

"Well, Bellatrix just suggested that it might be a good idea if we went over a little earlier; helped Molly with dinner. What do you think?" Andy said. Hermione's quick glance to the other witch confirmed her suspicion; this was not something that Bellatr- _Black, you have to remember to call her Black -_ would have suggested. 

"Sounds like a good idea; Hermione?" Ted looked at her. 

"Erm, yes, of course. I'll go and get my things together," Hermione stood from the table, putting another piece in and then turned towards the stairs. She had to pass Black on her way and the closeness felt so... heavy. 

In the room, Hermione quickly gathered up the few things that weren't in her bag, the one with the charm on it, and then sighed, sitting on the bed. She had hoped that she'd have a little more time away from Ron, but she supposed that if he were still in a mood, it wouldn't matter when she went back. They would have to interact at some point. She had thought that it might be made easier by the way that her and Bellatrix had been getting along, but now... 

***

They took the Floo network and arrived inside the Weasley's kitchen to be greeted by a smiling Mrs Weasley. 

"Oh, lovely, lovely, come on in dears." She gave Andy and Ted and big hug each, tickling little Teddy until he chortled. Then it was Hermione's turn. She was anxious, but Molly only gave her a loving smile and pulled her in for a squeeze that took her breath away. "Glad to have you back, Hermione, dear."

"Thanks Molly." She hugged her back, emotions welling to the surface. With the absence of her own mother, she wasn't sure what she would have done had Molly rejected her. She stepped out of the way and then watched curiously as Molly and Bellatrix surveyed each other. 

"Bellatrix," Molly greeted her. "We didn't know if you'd make it. I'm glad you did."

"Persuasive arguments were made," Bellatrix replied. "Thank you for opening up your home, Molly."

It was polite and cordial, but missing the warmth that Molly's previous greetings had contained. Hermione knew that Ron had been quite vocal in his hatred towards his least favourite teacher and had never really believed that she was working for their side in the war. On Bellatrix's side, she supposed the woman felt awkward coming in to the home of people she didn't know outside of teaching their children. 

"Where is everyone, Molly?" Ted asked.

"Outside," Molly replied. "George and Ron challenged them to a snowball fight. As if on queue, a snowball hit the window and Mrs Weasley jumped. "BOYS!" She yelled and ran to the door. Hermione chuckled and followed to find out who would be in trouble. 

"Why do you think it's us; it could be Ginny!" George's voice appeared from somewhere behind the blue car parked on the drive, almost hidden by snow.

"Ginny's aim is better!" Molly yelled back as a snowball flew past, smacking George in the forehead as he appeared with an indignant look on his face. A victorious yell from Ginny was all that was needed to confirm that Molly had been right. Hermione giggled. "Our visitors have arrived!"

"Hermione!" Ginny from somewhere to their left. "Come join our team!"

"No fair!" George yelled back. "We're even now!"

"I'll play," Andy said, grinning. 

"Me too," Ted smiled. "That is if Molly is ok with Teddy taking his nap inside?"

"Of course." She smiled, tickling the little boy again and making him squeal with laughter. Ted turned to his sister-in-law.

Bellatrix shot him a small look of disdain that carried no weight. 

"I think not," Bellatrix said. "I have no desire to engage in a snow fight."

"Didn't seem to mind yesterday." Andy grinned. Bellatrix raised an eyebrow. "Come on, not even to see if you can beat your little sister?" 

"I know what you're trying to do. It won't work."

"It's ok, Andy," Hermione said, grabbing her gloves and scarf from her bag, "we shouldn't make her play. It'd be pretty embarrassing; losing to students."

Hermione headed out of the door and joined Ginny, pulling her in to a big hug. 

"Hey, welcome back," Ginny smiled. "Are you ok?" 

"I'm good," she reassured. "How are things here?"

"It wasn't great but it's been ok today. I guess he's on best behaviour. How are things with...?" Ginny nodded towards the house. Hermione didn't even need to look. 

"Fine. I'll catch you up later?" She said as Harry approached. Ginny nodded and Hermione greeted Harry with a grin and a hug. "Hey Harry."

"Hey Hermione, I'm glad you're back." He pulled back as if he was going to say something else but then Andy appeared. 

"Hey, happy for me to be on your team?" 

"Of course," they grinned. Hermione glanced over and saw Bellatrix standing next to the other team, keeping some distance between them. 

"She's not going to want to lose," Andy chuckled. "Not after that call out."

"Bring it on," Hermione grinned. 

It wasn't long before snowballs started flying from all directions. No magic was allowed, so Hermione's fingers were numb through her gloves before too long. She crouched behind one of the bushes in the garden and started gathering up snowballs, ready for an onslaught. She watched Bill get hit in the face by a good shot from Ted and chuckled, then gathered a snowball up, ready to take him down. She heard the crunch of snow behind her and twisted to face whoever was behind her. 

Raven hair against the brilliant white, that smirk that normally made her shiver in place, Bellatrix was standing a metre away, a snowball in hand. Hermione considered running but decided against it and raised her arm, prepping the snowball. Bellatrix's eyes glinted. 

"Time for that rematch, Granger?" 

Hermione threw the snowball.Bellatrix dodged and moved forward, throwing the snowball and hitting her square in the forehead. Laughing, Hermione wiped it off and bent down for her collection of snowballs. Bellatrix, without a stash, began to run towards her. Hermione stood, drew her arm back and threw, stepping forward with the throw. She felt her foot slip and flailed around. Bellatrix, still moving towards her, slid to a stop as Hermione landed on the ground. She let out a victorious laugh at the disgruntled and surprised look on the younger witch's face. 

"What did I tell you about falling for me?" She cackled, extending her hand to offer support in standing. Hermione grasped it and pulled her down in to the snow, grabbing a snowball from the pile and throwing it at her where she'd fallen beside her. Bellatrix, her skirt covered in snow and on her hands and knees, whirled around to tackle Hermione. They ended up in a wrestle for dominance, Hermione laughing the entire while, Bellatrix grinning victoriously when she managed to pin Hermione down. The younger witch grinned up at her. "That was cheating, Granger."

"Please, I wasn't going to go down without a fight." Hermione chuckled and, after a split second, Bellatrix joined in. When they stopped, it was because both had become hyper aware of their position. They were shielded from the others by the bush but at any moment, they could be discovered in a compromising position. Hermione reminded herself of her earlier decision, but it wasn't as easy when the woman you're trying to be nice and civil with is straddling you, looking radiant in the snow. Bellatrix's eyes flicked to Hermione's lip, which she realised she was biting and released quickly. Bellatrix's hands tightened around, and then loosened on, Hermione's arms. 

"I win," Bellatrix said and her voice was definitely huskier than before. Hermione noticed it, paid vivid attention. But she had promised herself... Bellatrix was left stunned as Hermione managed to bring both arms free, filled with snow, and smush them in her face and hair. Hermione laughed and managed to wiggle free as Bellatrix tried to clear her eyes. The younger witch took off running. "Granger!"

Laughing, Hermione dove behind another bush and found Andy. 

"Was that my sister?" Andy grinned. 

"Yup." She said, still laughing. 

***

Later, exhausted, cold but happy, everyone headed inside. They agreed that it had been a tie, mainly because Bellatrix had glared when it was suggested that the other team had won. 

Molly took one look at them and made them stop on the welcome mat, making them dry and clean themselves off before they came in any further. The kitchen was filled with delicious smells and Hermione's stomach rumbled. 

"Ginny, take everyone upstairs and show them where they're sleeping. Dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes."

Hermione and the others followed Ginny upstairs; Hermione directly behind, followed by Bellatrix, then Andy, carrying Teddy and Ted bringing up the rear with bags. Hermione knew that she was in Ginny's room, but she had no idea how the rest would work. As far as she was aware the Weasley's had only added one room on for Ted and Andy. She had seen it, hanging by magic, from the side of the house. 

"I hope you don't mind, we had to put you in the same room," Ginny said, looking apologetically. Hermione heard Andy's sudden 'Bella!' complaint behind her and paused, turning. Bellatrix had stopped on the stairs. 

"I cannot stay in a room with my sister, her husband and a baby. I'll take the sofa."

"Oh, are you sure? Only-" Ginny bit her lip.

"I am positive."

Hermione felt for the older woman; she must feel incredibly awkward. 

"Yeah, that'll be fine, right Ginny?" She turned to her friend. 

"Uhm sure?"

Ginny continued and they followed her, helping Andy and Ted get set up. A sleepy Teddy had the cot they had brought with them in the corner. It was small, like all the rooms, but cosy and quaint. Bellatrix had waited outside, as did Hermione. 

"You're sleeping with the youngest Weasley?" Bellatrix queried offhandedly, in what seemed a polite attempt at conversation. 

"Yes. I think Ginny would have preferred to share with Harry, obviously, but Ron and I can't share, so..."

Bellatrix pursed her lips thoughtfully but nodded. 

"You're not spending time with your own family." It was a statement, not a question, but Hermione answered anyway. 

"No. They... I decided to wait until after I had finished school to return their memories." Hermione was staring thoughtfully at a picture of the Weasley family on the wall, lost in thought. She almost didn't realise when she continued speaking. They weren't a part of the war... I didn't want them to see the effects of it on me." 

She felt tears pricking her eyes and dashed them away hurriedly. She felt Bellatrix move and glanced at her, seeing her hand hesitantly stretching out, as if she was intending to comfort her somehow.

"Hey, ready to head back down?" Ginny appeared cheerfully, then gave Hermione an odd look. "You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just... family." She shrugged. 

"Oh god, 'Mione." Ginny enveloped her in a hug and Hermione saw Bellatrix standing there with a rigid jaw, eyes dark. Frustrated. Hermione wasn't sure whether it was due to the interruption but she saw her clench her fist briefly before turning away. 

"It's ok, Ginny. Just a hard time of year to be without them."

"Come on, let's get you unpacked and then we'll eat and be merry." She winked. "George bought mum a box full of alcohol; there's elven wine, firewhiskey, all sort in there."

"Oh Merlin..." Hermione groaned as she was pulled towards the stairs. Bellatrix followed behind quietly. 

***

Ginny had been wrong. Mrs Weasley was determined that the majority of the alcohol was saved until the next day, but she did break out some butterbeers. They all sat around the table, eating, drinking and talking. Bellatrix remained fairly quiet and Hermione couldn't help be hyper aware of her. Ron had also not really spoken to her and she hoped that he was just licking his wounds and not blatantly ignoring her. She couldn't be sure. 

It was when they were peeling off slowly, one by one, to go to bed, that Hermione got a chance to find out. 

"Girls, will you get the spare blankets and pillow out of the cupboard for Bellatrix, please?" Molly asked, clearing up plates. Bellatrix magicked a pile of them over to the side without moving and Hermione got up to help Ginny. They gathered the blankets and went to the sofa, where Bellatrix was standing. Ginny put them down and then went to help her mother, while Hermione started making up the bed. 

"I can make a bed," Bellatrix smirked, teasing. No one was near them. 

"I'm sure you're capable, I'm just being helpful."

"Oh I'm very capable," she replied, her voice lower. Hermione felt heat rising but ignored the other woman. She wouldn't rise to it. 

When she'd done, she stood up, and readjusted her jumper. 

"There."

"Well aren't you eager to please?" Bellatrix was testing her, she knew it. 

"I try to always help out my professors, if I can," Hermione shrugged, as if she hadn't noticed the little disguised innuendo.

"Oh, so I'm your Professor now?" Black raised an eyebrow, her lip twitching. "So well behaved all of a sudden..."

"As requested." Hermione replied, meeting her eyes; unwavering. The older woman stared at her and then slowly, moved a little closer. 

"Keeping all that Gryffindor bravado pent up could be dangerous, pet." Her voice was low, husky even, and Hermione felt her throat go dry. 

"You made it perfectly clear that you didn't want me to be brave," Hermione replied, steadily, not backing down. "Don't toy with me if you're not going to follow up."

Bellatrix's eyelashes fluttered and her eyes flicked to Hermione's lips. 

"What the heck?" Both of them jumped and spun to face Ron, who was eyeing them suspiciously. "What's going on?"

"I was just-" Hermione began before Bellatrix cut her off. 

"Weasley, your interruptions are becoming a habit. I suggest you break it before break something of yours."

"What did you say to me, Black?" He hissed. 

"I said-" Black replied, stepping forward, only for Hermione to catch hold of her and hold her back. 

"Don't, please, both of you. Let's not spoil the evening, or Christmas. Ok?"

Ron looked as though he wanted to continue but Harry, apparently sensing danger, appeared beside him. 

"Hey mate, I'm thinking of heading to bed. You coming?" Ron nodded, tersely, and followed his friend upstairs. Hermione released a breath she didn't know she'd been holding when his feet disappeared up the steps, and only then did she realise she was still holding Bellatrix's arm. She released it suddenly, under the heavy gaze of its owner. 

"I should go to bed too." The older woman looked over to the kitchen, which still contained Mr and Mrs Weasley and Andy and Ted. Her jaw tightened and then she looked back at Hermione. "Goodnight, Bel-" Bellatrix's eyes darkened. "Goodnight Black."

"Goodnight, Hermione."

Bellatrix's use of her name, and the warm and husky tone of her voice, almost stopped Hermione's heart. That's how it felt. Then it began to thunder in her ears as she tore herself away and slowly, on suddenly unsteady legs, headed for the stairs, determined not to break. 


	15. A Very Merry Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas Day, and anything else I said would be a spoiler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all the people struggling with the situation right now, I hope this lifts your spirits. Stay safe. 
> 
> P.s, I apologise if you use up some of the vital supply of tissues during this chapter.

Hermione woke before Ginny and threw on some more appropriate clothing than her tartan night shirt before tip-toe-ing downstairs to the kitchen. She glanced over at the sofa as she stepped off the bottom step, but the back concealed Bellatrix from view. Hermione had struggled to fall to sleep the previous night, hearing the echo of the older woman's voice saying her name, over and over again. 

She put the kettle on and then, as the water boiled, placed her wand on her heart and murmured the Animagus chant. Pouring herself some tea, she let the cup warm her hands as she looked out of the window at the snow-filled garden. 

"Is there enough water left for a coffee?" The rough, sleepy voice of Bellatrix made Hermione's eyelids flutter before she turned. The older woman ran her hand through her hair, sweeping it over to the side as she padded from the living room in to the kitchen. She was wearing the black silk robe she had been wearing the first night that Hermione had gone to her rooms and it made the younger witch's heart skip a beat. 

"Um, yes... do you want me to make it for you?"

Bellatrix offered her a smile and shook her head. 

"No, I'm perfectly capable." She made a coffee, Hermione's eyes following every movement. A smirk twitched on her lips. "Like what you see?"

"You know the answer," Hermione said, her voice catching a little in her throat. 

"I do," Bellatrix mused, her voice the most gentle that Hermione had ever heard. She leaned on the table opposite Hermione, the pair of them mirroring each other; cups in hand, tousled and wild morning hair and eyes fixated on the other. Bellatrix glanced down at the cup and took a breath, as though she were steadying herself. "I am aware that my behaviour to you has been... confusing."

Hermione froze, her hands tightening around the mug. Bellatrix looked up at her, eyes searching. Hermione waited for her to continue. 

"I..." The older woman frowned, for once struggling to craft a sentence. "I should apologise for that." Hermione's breath caught again. "I've not been fair to you."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

The older woman bit her lip. 

"Because I think we both know that this is inevitable, and I'm running out of reasons to stay away from you." 

Hermione dragged in a ragged breath and put down her cup, seeing Bellatrix mirroring her only a metre away. 

"So why did you try?"

"Because I shouldn't want you like I do." Bellatrix pushed off from the table and stalked towards her; her eyes dark and heated. "You have no idea the things I want to do to you..."

Hermione was lost as Bellatrix's fingers traced along her jaw, lifting her face. Her eyes were fluttering but she was determined to capture every moment of this. She could feel them almost burning with desire as Bellatrix's hands moved in to her hair and she felt her breath against her lips. Her eyes fluttered closed...

"Hermione, wake up, it's Christmas!" 

Hermione shot up, gasping, confused. Ginny was standing by her bed, grinning at her. 

"Ginny? What-?"

"Everyone is getting up! Time for presents and breakfast!" Ginny was practically bouncing, anxious to race downstairs. Hermione could hear the thunder of footsteps, a sure sign of a herd of Weasley boys running down stairs. "Come on!"

Hermione groaned but got out of bed, grabbing some leggings to throw on under her tartan nightshirt. 

"I'll meet you down there," she assured Ginny, climbing in to the leggings. Ginny paused for a second and then bolted for the door. Hermione heard a collision and a large 'OOF' from outside before the thunder of feet continued. She chuckled and shook her head before grabbing her wand and performing the Animagus chant. She paused at the door and took a deep breath. 

_What a dream..._ _Fuck._

She let the breath out and shook her head. Just a dream. They'd been close enough to a kiss before for it to seem so realistic. She could have sworn she could smell Bellatrix; that intoxicating mixture of woodfire smoke, parchment and something spicy, like cinnamon. Sometimes she smelled of firewhiskey but in that dream, there was no trace of the alcohol. Hermione bit her lip. _I have got to get it together._

With one last steadying breath, Hermione opened the door and slipped down the stairs. The noise coming from the living room was slightly overwhelming. 

"Boys, boys, you will not open anything until everyone is here!"

"BUT MUM-"

"I SAID NO RONALD."

Hermione reached the last step and found the living room alive with red hair. All the Weasley family were gathered around the tree, Fleur and Harry as well. Hermione scanned the rowdy group and frowned a little when she realised Bellatrix was nowhere to be seen. Footsteps on the stairs behind her made her turn and she saw Andy, Ted and teddy descending. 

"Merry Christmas, Hermione," they both said, giving her a big grin each. 

"Merry Christmas," Hermione smiled, stepping off the stairs. The Weasley's chorused 'Merry Christmas to the slightly bewildered group at the bottom of the stairs. 

"Now can we start?" Ron asked. 

"Let them get settled, Ron, honestly!" Molly chastised him. She pushed her way through her children to give Hermione a hug, and then the Tonks'. Hermione felt a twinge of sadness that she couldn't hug her own parents this Christmas. Not finding them before school had started was becoming a regret, gnawing away at her. 

"Merry Christmas, Molly. Dare I ask where my sister is?" Andy had noticed Bellatrix's absence too. 

"In the kitchen," Molly said, gesturing around the side of the stairs. Hermione followed the direction and saw Bellatrix leaning against the worktop, a steaming mug in her hand. "I'm afraid she had a loud awakening."

Hermione winced but giggled and she saw Bellatrix look up at her. Despite the weary and suspicious look on her face, Hermione saw her lips twitch as though to smile. 

"And your boys are still in one piece?" Andy chuckled. Molly snorted. 

"Ron's the only one complaining but it sounds like she just shot some hot sparks at him." Hermione almost snorted with laughter but managed to hold it together. Bellatrix definitely smiled then and she heard Ron grumbling in the living room. "Well, come in, I can't hold them off for long."

"Hermione, do you mind forcing Bella to join us?" Andy said, throwing her a wink.

"Of course," Hermione smiled. "I'll be one second."

The others went in to the living room and Charlie moved to give Andy room to sit with Teddy on the sofa. Hermione went in to the kitchen. 

"Didn't fancy a lie in this morning?" She said cheekily. 

"Bite me, Granger," Bellatrix grumbled even as Hermione's mind did a back flip in to the gutter. "They're lucky they're still walking."

"Well at least you were decent," Hermione grinned, quickly scanning the dress that the older woman was wearing. It was similar to her usual style, but there was no corset on this dress. 

"I am proficient in transfiguration. This is not what they would have seen had they not woken me before they even arrived in the room." Bellatrix smirked. 

"I don't think I dare ask," Hermione chuckled.

"Use your imagination," Bellatrix shrugged. "I'm sure you've used it plenty."

Hermione's brain flashed back to her dream and she swallowed. It wasn't fair; she'd asked Bellatrix not to tease her anymore. She sighed and turned to go to the living room. A hand closed around her arm and she turned half way back to look at Black, who was no longer smirking slyly at her. 

"That was uncalled for," the older woman admitted. Hermione studied her; she looked the closest to apologetic as Hermione figured she'd get. 

"Ok. Are you joining us?"

"If you'd like."

Hermione nodded and Bellatrix inhaled a relieved breath and gave her a small smile. _Is... is she trying to behave?_ Hermione pondered the question as the pair of them joined the rest of the household. Hermione found a space on the floor next to Ginny and after an unsure moment of looking around for any spare space, Bellatrix lowered herself down near to her. Hermione was so overly aware of her, it made it difficult to concentrate. 

"This one's from me," Ginny grinned, depositing a book shaped present in Hermione's lap. She opened it carefully, aware that Ginny's weren't the only eyes on her. Inside was a photo album, filled with moving pictures of Hermione and all her friends. 

"Oh Ginny, thank you," Hermione grinned, throwing her arms around Ginny. 

"You like it? There's space at the back so you can add photos," Ginny smiled. 

"I love it. Thank you so much."

Everyone continued to open their presents. Mrs Weasley had, of course, knitted everyone a jumper for the year. She had even knitted one for Bellatrix, which made the woman immediately uncomfortable. She did, however, slip the jumper on, which made Molly smile brightly and Bellatrix glare at Hermione when she laughed. It wasn't bad at all, a black jumper with a slytherin-green B on the front. 

"It suits you," Hermione murmured when everyone was distracted by Teddy's babbling over his gifts. Bellatrix snorted, but she did not remove the jumper. 

When Andy opened the gifts that Bellatrix had provided and found that one was a wolf toy for Teddy, Hermione shot her an amused glance which made the older woman roll her eyes. 

Soon the presents had all been unwrapped and Molly started ushering everyone in to the kitchen for breakfast. It was a noisy affair, with lots of laughter. Occasionally an owl would appear, dropping a card or present on the table and causing chaos as everyone tried to catch a stray one that might be falling towards a plate of food. When they had almost finished, Bellatrix's raven, now recognisable to Hermione, flew in through the window and dropped a letter in to her waiting hand. Hermione, opposite her at the table, watched as she opened it and read the contents quickly. The raven came to rest on the back of Harry's chair next to her and she reached up to pat it casually. Bellatrix glanced up at her and then followed her arm; she raised an eyebrow and her lips lifted in to an amused smirk. 

"Friendly with the raven, Hermione," Ron said, the snide comment not going unnoticed by Hermione or Bellatrix. He reached up to pat the bird from the other side of Harry and then jumped back as the bird bit his fingers. "Ow, bloody hell!" The raven cawed and hopped over to his chair, pecking at his head. "Call off your damn bird, Black!"

"Hugin," Bellatrix called, quiet but firm. The raven stopped pecking and flew over to her, resting on her shoulder. She smirked and stroked his chest. Hermione hid her smile, not wanting to aggravate Ron anymore. He was glaring hard at Bellatrix who gave him a smirk and shrugged, faux-innocently.

"Who is writing to you, Bella?" Andy said, trying to distract from the situation. 

"I have to attend an urgent meeting," Bellatrix said, rising from her chair. "I apologise Molly, I will be back as soon as possible."

"Oh-of course Bellatrix," Molly replied, looking a little stunned. Hermione thought it was probably more because of the polite apology than the fact that the woman was leaving. Her heart clenched. She didn't want her to go. 

While everyone cleared their plates away, Andy saw her sister to the door. Hermione ached to do the same but knew it would look odd. After Ron's interruption the previous evening, she didn't want him starting to get suspicious. She watched Bellatrix throw on her favourite winter cloak and with one last glance towards Hermione, she was out of the door. 

***

Ron still wasn't really acknowledging her, except to make snide comments, so Hermione spent the morning playing games with Teddy with Ginny's help and then helping Molly in the kitchen as she began cooking the Christmas dinner. Her, Charlie, and Ginny helped, chopping vegetables, mixing ingredients until Molly shooed them out with a thanks, saying they were too rowdy for her kitchen. They were sitting in the living room watching Andy levitate the wolf toy to play with Teddy, when Hermione's phone began to vibrate. She'd managed to make it work around magic a long time ago and pulled it out, expecting one of her friends to be calling to wish her a Happy Christmas. 

She froze. 

_Mum_

"You alright?" Ginny nudged her and then saw the word on the screen. "Merlin, is that-?"

Unsteadily, Hermione pressed the accept button and raised the phone to her ear. 

"H-hello?"

"Hermione! Oh Hermione, thank goodness. We weren't sure, I mean she said, but we didn't know..." Hermione's mum was frantic and she could hear the tears in her tone. Her father's voice was in the background. 

"Put it on speaker phone! Hermione, are you ok?"

"Mum, dad, I'm fine, how...?"

"We'll find a flight, we'll come home. Oh my goodness there's so much to sort out. Don't worry honey, we'll get the first flight home."

Hermione got up, her eyes welling and moved to sit on the stairs for a little privacy. Everyone in the living room had fallen silent and was watching her. 

"Mum, slow down. How did this happen?"

"Your friend came dear, she explained everything. You should have told us, we could have... Oh I don't know. Of course you did what you thought was right but darling we could have been there for you."

"I'm sorry mum I... wait, what friend?"

The door to the Burrow opened and in a flurry of snow, Bellatrix returned, wrapped in her cloak. Hermione spotted her through the gaps in the banister and froze, the phone still to her ear. Bellatrix swept the cloak off, nodded to Molly and went to move back to the living room, before noticing Hermione sitting on the stairs. She stopped dead in her tracks, eyes fixed on her and her phone. Hermione's mouth slid open in a small gasp and a tear spilled over from her watery eyes. 

"-she said she was a friend, oh honey what was her name...?" Hermione's mum asked her dad on the other end of the phone. 

"Never mind mum... I know who she is."

Bellatrix's eyes fluttered under the intensity of Hermione's gaze. 

"Bella!" Andy called and the connection was broken as Bellatrix looked over to her sister, who beckoned her to join them. She looked back to Hermione hesitantly, before going over to her sister and leaving Hermione to finish her phone call in peace. 

Once she'd calmed her parents down, told them what had happened, that everything was ok and she was safe and endured a lecture about never using magic on them again, Hermione was able to say a Merry Christmas to her mum and dad. They booked a ticket on the first flight, that wasn't full, home, which was set to arrive on the twenty-eighth December. She had offered to apparate them but they'd declined, saying they'd had enough of magic for the time being. 

"I love you mum, I love you dad."

"We love you too darling," her mum said.

"Thank your friend for us," her dad added. 

"I will. Speak to you soon."

They said a tearful goodbye and Hermione spent a moment rubbing her eyes dry, although they were noticeably red. As soon as she entered the living room, the questions began. 

"Your parents?"

"How did that happen?"

"I thought they didn't remember still?"

"Give her a minute!" Andy said, levelling them all with a stern look. Hermione looked at Bellatrix, who subtly shook her head. 

"They remember; they're coming home in three days."

"That's amazing!" Ginny grinned, leaping forward to hug her friend. Harry joined her and Hermione almost started crying again. She felt like a weight had been lifted and it was all thanks to Bellatrix, who didn't want anyone to know that she deserved the credit. 

"But how?" Ron asked over Harry's shoulder. 

"I don't know," Hermione said, biting her lip. She wished she could say but she knew what Bellatrix's shake of the head had meant. Even so, Ron looked suspiciously over at his ex professor. 

"Does it matter?" Andy came over and gave Hermione a hug too. The young witch suspected she knew exactly what had happened, but was on the same page as Hermione. "This is brilliant, Hermione. What a lovely thing to happen on Christmas."

"Best Christmas present ever," Hermione said over her shoulder as she hugged her back tightly, looking at Bellatrix and wishing that the hug was for her. Bellatrix met her gaze for a minute that felt like a lifetime and then stood, heading in to the kitchen. Hermione released Andy. "I'm going to go and see if Molly wants some help."

"Good idea," Andy winked. 

Hermione padded in to the kitchen, finding Bellatrix setting the table. She paused surprised as Molly was not usually one to share the kitchen. Bellatrix looked up and caught Hermione's eyes, who gestured outside. Bellatrix shook her head, nodding her head towards Molly who looked as though she were finishing up. Hermione held back a frustrated sigh and instead moved forward. 

"Hey Molly, need any help?"

"No dear, almost done. What was the uproar about?"

So Hermione relayed the story and was embraced tightly by Mrs Weasley, who started crying happily. 

"Oh Hermione, that is wonderful. I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you," Hermione smiled. 

"Now, you've made me cry." She dried her tears and busied herself with the food. "Will you go collect the others? Bellatrix, be a dear and help me put the food on the table?"

Bellatrix, though slightly disgruntled looking, did so. Hermione assumed it was her way of thanking the woman for her jumper. 

They were all sitting for dinner in a matter of minutes; once everyone knew the food was ready they had swarmed in. The bottles of alchohol were opened and flowed freely, everyone congratulating Molly on the food. Crackers were pulled, jokes laughed at and everyone ate until they couldn't possibly eat anymore. 

Ginny had chosen the seat next to Hermione when she'd entered the room, but when most people were seated she moved to sit next to Harry. It meant that Bellatrix had found that seat the only one free, other than Molly's, when she went to sit. So Hermione spent the meal being very aware of the woman squeezed in next to her, of when she chuckled at a joke and tried to hide it, when she refused more than two firewhiskeys and the way she stilled whenever they accidentally brushed against each other. 

When some of them started drunkenly singing Christmas songs, Hermione started clearing the table. Bellatrix helped. They worked in silence while the others sang and when the whole group started breaking up, some to the living room, Bill and Fleur discreetly upstairs which made a lot of them shoot winks at each other, Hermione saw the opportunity. She started fanning herself. 

"I'm just going to get some fresh air."

She grabbed her cloak, knowing Bellatrix was watching her with dark eyes and slipped outside before anyone could notice. She shivered, the night being colder than she'd thought. It didn't take long before she had company. 

"So, you going to tell me what the hell is going on with you and Black?"

"Ron-"

"-Because to me it looks like you two are fucking."

"What? Ron no I-"

"But of course, I must be mistaken, because there's no way that my Hermione is a dyke, is there?" He staggered drunkenly towards her and grabbed her arm. "Because all you've really wanted is for me to-" He was cut off mid-sentence as he went flying backwards and ploughed in to the snow, leaving a tunnel where his body had continued to travel.

"Get your hands off her!" Bellatrix was standing framed in the doorway. Andy and Molly were both behind her, looking horrified. It took Ron a few minutes to stagger to his feet but when he did he spat towards her. 

"Why don't you keep your hands off 'er, ey, Black? She doesn't want some mad, middle-aged, death eater whore-" Hermione would have hexed him herself but she was too busy grabbing Bellatrix's wand arm, stopping her from retaliating. She was vibrating with rage. Andy and Molly rushed out and grabbed Ron. 

"You need to sober up, boy!" Andy growled at him. 

"Ronald, you're embarrassing us all!" Molly glared at him, dragging him by the arm. "Just you wait until your father hears about this."

They dragged him inside, although he was still shouting obscenities at Hermione and Bellatrix while they did. The door shut firmly. 

"Are you alright?" Bellatrix asked after a moment, still shaking with anger. 

"Yes," Hermione murmured, still clinging to Bellatrix's arm, which was still raised. "Are you?"

Bellatrix lowered her arm and Hermione released her unwillingly. Bellatrix looked at her, properly, for the first time since she'd appeared outside. 

"I'm fine." Hermione didn't believe her, but she let it slide. 

"You know I could have handled him."

"I have no doubt. But it was my pleasure." Bellatrix gave her a grim smile which Hermione did believe. "He's lucky I didn't do worse to him."

"I know," she chuckled and then bit her lip. Bellatrix smiled properly, that smirking smile she got when she wanted to tease Hermione. "Don't you dare."

"Don't do what?" Bellatrix smirked, raising an eyebrow. 

"I know that look," Hermione smiled. "Before you make whatever comment you want to, let me get something off my chest?" Bellatrix opened her mouth, grinning. "No jokes about that either." The older woman shut her mouth, still grinning. Hermione rolled her eyes and laughed, then gestured for the other woman to follow her. They moved away from the house, putting some distance between them and whatever was happening. When Hermione stopped again, Bellatrix cast a warming charm over them. 

"There, can't have you freezing to death before I get to 'make my comments'."

"Ha, ha." Hermione chuckled, in spite of the dry way she said the words. Then her face sobered. "I have to thank you."

"You don't-" Bellatrix interrupted, her smile dropping a little. 

"Will you just shut up for once?" The smile returned. "I _want_ to thank you. I don't have the words... I don't know how you found them, I don't know how you did it, but that is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Ever. I cannot thank you enough, I will never be able to thank you enough."

Bellatrix silenced her, a finger over her lips momentarily. 

"Hermione, you talk too much," she dropped her hand and shook her head. "Think of it as a Christmas present. Or failing that... a thanks for everything you have done." Hermione's brow furrowed. "You healed my wounds, dealt with my..." she struggled and gritted her teeth, "my mood swings. You didn't judge my scars. And you saved the Wizarding world; let us not forget that."

Hermione didn't know what to do. So she stepped forward. Bellatrix froze. Hermione slipped her arms around her waist and hugged her. For a moment, the other woman was still and unresponsive. Then, just as Hermione was going to move, afraid that she'd pushed too far, she felt strong arms wrapping around her. She sighed contentedly and then froze, embarrassed. A chuckle reverberated through Bellatrix. 

"Shut up," Hermione murmured. Bellatrix's arms tightened momentarily as she laughed. It was intoxicating, being in her arms. Hermione knew she should break the embrace, but she didn't want to and Bellatrix was showing no signs of stepping back either. Instead Hermione sighed again and murmured, "thank you, Bellatrix."

"You're welcome, Hermione."

Bellatrix's arms loosened as Hermione stepped back. 

"You called me Hermione."

"You called me Bellatrix," the other woman countered, smirking. "That another thing that you wanted to 'get off your chest'?"

Hermione laughed, rolling her eyes. 

"I knew you were going to make a comment about that."

"Oh I had several more." Bellatrix's eyes sparkled, playfully. "Don't think you can call me that all the time."

"Just outside of school hours?" Hermione replied, cheekily. Bellatrix shoved her lightly and and smirked again. 

"We'll see." She glanced back to the house. "We should go back inside. If he's not asleep now I'd be happy to knock him out."

Hermione laughed and they both made their way through the snow back to the house. 


	16. Friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have our duo reached a compromise? How long will it last?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I said I was posting on the 5th but I ended up posting on the 6th... they needed some extra attention at the end. I hope you're all keeping safe and well. Remember, staying in and obsessively reading fanfiction is currently healthier than going out!

Ron was nowhere to be seen when they entered the Burrow but the sound of raised voices from high above them filtered down. Bellatrix slipped off her cloak and Hermione followed suit; Bellatrix took hers and hung them both on the groaning cloak rack. 

"Bella, Hermione, is that you?" Andy's voice came from the living room. 

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and Hermione chuckled. 

"Yes, Andy, it's us!" The younger witch replied, moving towards the living room. Bellatrix hesitated, glancing at the bottles of firewhiskey on the side. When Hermione glanced round to see where her companion was, the older witch gritted her teeth but followed. The living room contained only Andy, Ginny, Ted and Percy. "Where is everyone?"

"I'm afraid that the majority of the Weasley family are currently having a heart to heart with young Ron," Andy replied, looking gravely at her sister whose face had been getting darker since her return to the house. Hermione felt a strong urge to reach out and comfort her, but she knew that probably wasn't the best ideas. Outside had been different, personal and intimate. In here, Bellatrix's reaction to affection would be completely different, especially since Ginny and her brother, who Bellatrix obviously still viewed as one of her students, were there. 

"I'm so sorry, Hermione," Ginny said, her eyes watering. Hermione suspected that Ginny had indulged in one too many drinks, since she was hiccuping, but that could have been from the upset. "He's ruined Christmas..."

"Don't be silly, Ginny," Hermione said kindly, going over and pulling her friend in to a hug. Ginny swayed a little, confirming Hermione's theory, so she carefully helped her sit down. "He hasn't ruined it. This is still one of the best Christmas' I've ever had."

"Really?" Ginny hiccuped again.

"Yes. Now, don't you think you should go to bed? It's quite late."

Ginny nodded and hiccuped again. 

"I'll take her," Percy said, shooting a look at Hermione that was equal parts thankful and apologetic. "I apologise, on behalf of my brother, Hermione."

"Thank you, Percy. But he is the only one that owes an apology, and I'll happily take one from him. I'm sure that B-Black would too." She caught herself just in time, glancing over at the older woman. She and Andy were huddled close, standing and seemed to be muttering to each other. Hermione looked back to Percy and Ginny and smiled. "Let's get her upstairs."

Ted seemed to take a hint too, kissing his wife and saying that he'd see her upstairs, before following the group up the stairs. Hermione got Ginny in to bed and as soon as her friend's head hit the pillow, she was out like a light. When she returned to the landing, she could still hear voices upstairs, although they were quieter, not quite as loud as they had been before. She debated going up, wondering if it were safer to find out what had happened with Ron after he'd be dragged off than to return downstairs and interrupt Bellatrix and Andy in their conversation. She decided that neither were safe but she knew who she would prefer to see right now. 

The stairs creaked as she headed back downstairs. She could hear Bellatrix and Andy talking, louder than before, but she couldn't make it out until she reached the last few steps. 

"- surprised you didn't do more to him, that's all I'm saying."

"I do have _some_ control over myself."

"Bella, you were about to curse him until she grabbed you. And you _let her._ I've never seen you-"

"-shut up, Andy." Hermione reached the last step and looked in to the kitchen to find the two sisters sitting at the table, staring at her. The bottle of firewhiskey stood between them and they had a glass each. 

"Hi... if I'm intruding I can go?"

"That might be best, Hermione love," Andy said, looking warily at Bellatrix, who was studying Hermione with cautious appraisal; as though she were in her wolf form and sizing her up. 

Hermione shivered under her gaze, feeling suddenly naked. It was the first time that she really, truly, understood why Bellatrix's animagus form was a wolf. 

Andy was looking between them both and laid a hand on Bellatrix's arm; a warning or for comfort - Hermione wasn't sure. Bellatrix's gaze lingered for a few more moments before she broke their connection. Her wand slipped from her sleeve and she gave it a flick, summoning another glass. Hermione took that as an invite and hesitantly joined them at the table across from Bellatrix, on Andy's right. Andy looked slightly bemused, but not surprised. 

Bellatrix picked up the bottle and let it hover over the glass, looking at Hermione with a raised eyebrow. 

"Yes please," she said, watching as the liquid poured on her request. Bellatrix's hand was steady but her eyes were filled with concentration; the bottle wasn't empty enough for them to have had more than one glass so Hermione wondered whether she were controlling her anger instead. "Thank you."

They each raised their glasses in a silent cheers and then took a drink. The liquid burned Hermione's throat pleasantly, settling warmly in her stomach. 

"Any sign of a reprieve?" Andy asked, gesturing to the ceiling, after a few moments of silence, in which Bellatrix had stared at the glass in her hands and Hermione had studied her doing so. They couldn't hear shouting anymore; Hermione hoped that Ron had gone to sleep and that the Weasley's were all heading to bed. 

"Not when I came downstairs. But it sounds like they might have stopped now," she replied, drinking again. 

The silence built again and Hermione couldn't help but study Bellatrix in it. The tension in her was obvious; her shoulders were high, her dark eyes fixed on the drink, her jaw tight.

"Bella..." Andy sighed, putting her hand on her sister's arm again. Bellatrix flinched and closed her eyes sharply, tensing. Andy slowly removed her hand. "I'm sorry."

Hermione's blood boiled. She knew what this was about. She'd feared it, hearing Ron speak those words... ' _She doesn't want some mad, middle-aged, death eater whore...'_ She knew the effect that those words had on Bellatrix. She wished that she'd stunned him before he'd got a chance to speak them. She downed the rest of her firewhiskey and scowled at the table, reaching for the glass at the same time as Bellatrix did. She paused, her fingers hovering, as Bellatrix gripped the bottle so hard her knuckles went white. 

"I have a feeling that Mrs Weasley, and possibly Mr Weasley, are going to come and apologise for Ron before they go to bed," Hermione murmured to the woman opposite. "I would quite like to have another glass in my hand when that happens." There was a pause before Bellatrix's eyes focused on Hermione's and her lips twitched slightly. 

"You only drink firewhiskey around people who are being 'exceptionally frustrating', if I remember correctly."

"Perhaps I also drink it when I'm in good company," Hermione replied, feeling a victorious rush that the other woman had spoken to her. She could walk the line of teasing and flirtation again if it pulled Bellatrix from the spiral that she seemed to be experiencing. Unlike Andy, Hermione did not try to touch her. She moved her outstretched hand to her glass instead, pushing it closer to the middle so that Bellatrix could pour her another glass, which she did, after another minute studying the younger witch. 

"I'm not sure I'm good company at present," Bellatrix's jaw tightened again, her eyes swirling darkly. 

"Then think of it this way; I'll be the good company and you can drink."

"You normally have quite a lot to say about my drinking."

"I can't say it thrills me, especially given that we have both just experienced what alcohol can do to a person," Hermione replied firmly. "But I imagine that if you really feel the need to drink, nothing I could say or do would stop you."

Bellatrix was so focused on Hermione now that the younger witch had almost forgotten that Andy was sitting right beside them until, with an amused snort, the witch spoke. 

"Well, I think I'm going to go and join my husband and leave you two to it..." Hermione opened her mouth to apologise, ask her to stay, something; she didn't know quite what, "No, as long as you're fine Hermione, my mind won't be changed. Not that either of you really want it to be." The last part was quietly said with a smirk and Andy headed to the stairs. "Merry Christmas both." 

"Merry Christmas," Hermione replied and as Andy disappeared upstairs she turned her eyes back to Bellatrix who was still studying her. Raising an eyebrow, Hermione took another drink. She could feel a slight buzz from the firewhiskey and knew this would be her last glass. Who knew what she'd do or say if she got drunk. 

"I know what you're doing," Bellatrix muttered after another minute of silence. 

"Do you?" Hermione replied, innocently, resting her chin on her hand. "What's that?"

"Muggles call it reverse psychology."

"Do they?"

"Yes." Bellatrix raised an eyebrow. "I do not take kindly to attempts at manipulation."

"And yet, you haven't taken another drink since I said it." Hermione's eyebrow raised again, her victorious grin lighting up her face. Bellatrix blinked and looked down at the glass, as though contemplating downing it out of spite. Hermione bit her lip and wondered if she had pushed too far. "Is there something else that helps?"

"Helps what?" Bellatrix asked sharply, her head snapping up again, eyes piercing. 

"Helps stop the pain," Hermione replied softly, the fingers of the hand not resting under her chin circling the top of her glass soothingly. "Block out the memories and the feelings..."

Bellatrix's eyes followed the movement of her fingers for a moment before she gave her a dark grin that sent a shiver down her spine in a not wholly unpleasant fashion. 

"There are other...distractions," she responded, her voice lower, making Hermione's throat dry. "But none that are possible at the moment."

"Hmm," Hermone replied, not trusting her voice to manage much else. She took another sip of firewhiskey, although she doubted she needed any more warming up. "Perhaps there are other things we can come up with to distract you."

Bellatrix snorted, her lips pursed in amusement, her eyes still dark. 

"And what would you recommend, Hermione?"

"Well I could beat you at a snowball fight again," she grinned cheekily, hoping that she was doing the right thing, going about this the right way.

"You did not beat me," Bellatrix replied, leaning forward. "We tied. Both times."

"Evenly matched?" Hermione's smiled widened. "Third round, winner takes all?"

Bellatrix's eyes darkened and she stood, hands resting on the table as she leaned forward. She contemplated Hermione, her eyes tracing hot lines over Hermione's face, even her neck, before she replied. 

"It would be ill advised to be in a competition with me right now, particularly one that might end the way our previous one did, before you cheated."

Hermione's memories flooded with the moment where Bellatrix had her pinned in the snow, where her eyes had strayed to Hermione's lips and the younger witch had felt every inch of her pressed against the other woman. She remembered the look of shock on Bellatrix's face when she had thrown snow at either side of her head and escaped. She desperately wanted to continue the challenge but knew that this was the firewhiskey talking. Bellatrix's control was waning and Hermione knew that she became more flirtatious when drunk. She didn't want this to go too far and be unable to stop it. Neither of them would thank her for it and she still wasn't sure whether Bellatrix might take it to a point of no return, and then deny her again anyway. 

She stood up; Bellatrix's eyes following her. 

"Come on," she gestured towards the living room. The older woman hesistated, seemingly thrown by the change in direction, much as Hermione had been. "I won't bite..." Hermione added before she really thought the common saying through. It was enough to make Bellatrix smirk and follow, bringing her glass, but not the bottle. 

"What are you planning?" Bellatrix asked as Hermione sat on the sofa, crossing her legs and facing the spaces beside her, waiting for the older witch to join her. 

"Just sit down," Hermione rolled her eyes. "Or don't you trust me?"

"I don't trust anyone," Bellatrix's voice was low, surprisingly honest and open. "I can't trust anyone but myself."

Hermione's heart ached but she nodded, chewing on her lip. 

"Well, sit down anyway."

Bellatrix did so, hesistantly, throwing one leg up so she could rest her arm on it, the other dangling off the side of the sofa. She looked casual, but Hermione knew she was only pretending. 

"What do you want, Granger?"

 _Reverting to last names to establish distance,_ Hermione's brain murmured to itself and she was glad that she was practising blocking her thoughts at all times. She was amused by the thought, nevertheless. 

"Many things, Bellatrix." The older woman rolled her eyes but did at least look a little entertained. "We're going to go through it."

"Through what?" Dark eyes narrowed in suspicion. 

"What he said." Dark eyes darkened as understanding passed through them and she made to stand, but Hermione put out her hand; a wordless gesture, pleading with her to stay. "We don't have to if you don't want to. I thought it might help. We can talk about something else?"

Bellatrix studied her again and then settled back in to her seat, still wary. She didn't say a word, just leaned on her arm, propped on the back of the sofa, and watched. 

Hermione took a deep breath. 

"Ok... what's your favourite book?" A raised eyebrow. "No? Favourite song?" A long stare, eyebrow still raised. "Ok... how about favourite colour?" Bellatrix's eyes narrowed in amusement and Hermione chuckled. "Ok, fair, that's an obvious one."

"Tell me your answers," Bellatrix said instead. 

"To those questions?" A nod. "Ok... I don't know if I can choose a favourite book; I have so many. I love Pride and Prejudice; I know you've read that. Have you read Jane Eyre?" Bellatrix shook her head. "I have it with me, I'll lend it to you. Favourite song... I really love music and I don't know how much muggle music you know, but obviously I love The Weird Sisters. There's a singer called Merci Raines that I've been listening to recently and I really like her. Favourite colour... I like green. Forest green," she clarified when Bellatrix's eyes sparkled with a joke. "Your turn."

"Hermione, what are you doing?"

"Distracting you. It's working, isn't it?"

Bellatrix blinked. 

"Yes."

"Well then. How old are you?"

"Excuse me?" Her eyebrow raised again, more amused than offended. 

"Just answer the question."

"Older than you and younger than McGonagall."

"Helpful," Hermione rolled her eyes, but she was grinning. "I would imagine late thirties, maybe forties?"

Bellatrix pursed her lips in an amused attempt to look offended and opened her mouth to respond when the stairs creaked. Both of their heads shot in that direction and they waited silently for someone to appear. It was Harry; he looked tired and frustrated.

"Hermione, Professor Black..." He came in to the living room. Both turned to watch as he sat on the chair and ran a hand through his hair. "Mr and Mrs Weasley wanted to come down and check on you both but I told them to go to bed and see you tomorrow. I wanted to make sure you were both alright?"

"Fine," Bellatrix replied tersely, shifting to sit less casually on the sofa. Hermione sent her a scolding glance. 

"We're ok, Harry. What happened after...?" She trailed off, not wanting to mention it again. 

"Well I helped them get him upstairs. I really wanted to stun him but they wouldn't let me," he said wryly. Bellatrix snorted and Hermione resisted the urge to nudge her. "He was so loud he disturbed Bill and Fleur; that was not fun. George kept offering to feed him puking pastels to get the alcohol out and then Molly started telling him off... honestly, just be glad you weren't there."

"I'm assuming that the troll-brained, ginger skrewt is passed out?" Bellatrix pretended to be picking things out from under her nails and this time Hermione did elbow her, as discreetly as possible. Harry still seemed to notice, more than likely because Bellatrix shot Hermione a glare in response. 

"Ron," he replied, "is asleep, yes. I'm sure he'll be so sorry tomorrow, Hermione. You know he can't handle his alcohol well."

"No excuse," Bellatrix glared as Hermione opened her mouth to reply. 

"He can apologise to me and... Black tomorrow, if he means it. If he doesn't I really don't want to hear from him."

"I'm really sorry Hermione. Andy told me what he said..." Harry looked at Bellatrix, his face grim. "I know we haven't always gotten along Black, but for what it's worth, he was bang out of order. I'm grateful for everything you did in the war, including teaching us when it must have been almost impossible. There are very few people who still believe you were on the wrong side during the war." Harry stood up when Bellatrix didn't respond and instead focused on her glass instead. Hermione hoped that whatever progress she'd made hadn't just been destroyed. "I'm off to bed."

"Night Harry," Hermione smiled. "Thanks for checking on us."

"You not going up?" He questioned, casting a glance at Bellatrix before raising an eyebrow at Hermione. 

"In a little while."

"Well alright... Merry Christmas. See you tomorrow."

With that, Harry left them. They were quiet while they listened to his footsteps ascending and only when they couldn't hear him anymore did Bellatrix stand and begin pacing. Hermione bit her lip. 

"Are you-"

"No, I'm not 'ok'." Bellatrix snapped. Her hands were clenched in to fists and the strain of her anger was in her jaw. "It doesn't matter how long passes, how many people believe... the minute anyone says it I-" Hermione stood up slowly and Bellatrix paused, facing her; eyes wild and unutterably sad. Hermione's heart clenched and she stepped forward, hands trembling as she lifted them. They hovered, Bellatrix regarding them with suspicion, inches from her face. When Hermione took her face gently in her hands, Bellatrix's eyes flinched, but she didn't move away. 

"I never thought I would sound this much like Luna, but you are as sane as I am," Hermione murmured, trying to restrain her thumbs from stroking Bellatrix's cheek, though she desperately wanted to comfort her. "You are not middle aged, in fact you don't look the age I suspect that you are and we both know that you are not a death eater, nor ever truly were."

Bellatrix's eyes were guarded, but her jaw was no longer tight. Hermione let her thumbs smooth over her cheeks, resisting the urge to look at the red lips that were so close to her, before slowly lowering her hands and releasing the other woman.

"You forgot whore..." Bellatrix's voice was hoarse with emotion, but her wry humour remained. Hermione chuckled in relief. 

"I wouldn't want to cast aspersions on what you do with your free time. Although a friend of mine did once say that they weren't too old to know what friends with benefits were, so..."

"Friend, hmm?" Bellatrix's eyebrow quirked in amusement. 

"Well we hardly have the normal student-teacher relationship and we've had enough conversations about the other end of the spectrum so... I would consider that to be middle ground. Besides, I'm allowed to call you Bellatrix now," she finished cheekily. 

"Hmmm," Bellatrix responded, reaching out and catching a curl of hair that had escaped the ponytail Hermione had, placing it behind her ear. Hermione's eyelashes fluttered and her brain stopped functioning properly. "I suppose you are. Sometimes."

Hermione couldn't stand the tension that was building between them; she thought she might burst and so she took a step backwards, sucking in air that wasn't scented like Bellatrix. 

"It's late."

"It is," Bellatrix looked at the clock ticking above the fire. "Everyone else will be asleep."

"Yes..." Hermione whispered. She wasn't tired at all. In fact, she felt alive. 

"Do you want to go upstairs?"

"No... but I should."

Bellatrix studied her with more tenderness than before, although Hermione was sure that she must be imagining it. 

"Go. I promise not to drink anymore. I can be left unguarded."

Hermione smiled weakly. 

"I didn't just stay to stop you drinking, you know? I stayed because..." She sighed frustrated, unable to say the next words. Or maybe she was just unwilling. 

"I know. Go, Hermione."

"Ok. Goodnight," she smiled and turned towards the stairs. 

"Goodnight..." the words were faint but they seemed to follow her up the stairs. How desperately she had wanted to stay downstairs with the other woman. Talk more, learn more about each other. But she knew it was a slippery slope. They seemed to have brokered a kind of truce, a place comfortable enough for them both to be. Hermione knew that she couldn't trust herself around Bellatrix, not when they were alone, their senses dulled by alcohol and their emotions high. 

Better to go to sleep and allow the thoughts in her head to turn to dreams instead. 


	17. Boxing Day: The Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sun has risen on Boxing Day and there are conversations to be had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to split this chapter in two. Hope you enjoy and are keeping safe during this time.

Hermione woke up with a slight headache and a lingering warmth inside her that had a lot to do with the dreams of the night. Dreams that involved Bellatrix stroking her hair behind her ear, leaning in so close that her breath tickled Hermione's lips and she could smell her with every inhale...

She shook her head and crept out of the room she shared with Ginny, pausing at the top of the stairs hesitantly. The house was quiet and she doubted that even Mrs Weasley was awake after the late drama of the previous evening. Deciding that her headache would not leave until she had a cup of tea in her hand, she started quietly down the stairs, trying to avoid the most creaky steps. At the bottom of the stairs she hesitated, looking over at the sofa and chewing thoughtfully on her lip. The dreams from the previous evening, coupled with that of the one she had woken from on Christmas morning, gave her stomach butterflies. She had firmly believed that what she felt for Bellatrix while they were at school was something more than just a crush, perhaps the beginnings of something that she hadn't dared name... But the time since had proven to her that watching the older woman open up to her and be almost, dare she say it, _sweet,_ was so endearing and precious to her, that she now knew what it was really like to fall. 

Shaking herself, Hermione went in to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and performed her morning spell while the kettle boiled. She was busy pouring the hot water in to her cup when she heard movement upstairs. Glancing over at the living room again, she decided to make Bellatrix a mug of coffee, aware that the witch would be less grumpy if she had caffeine. Picking up the extra drink, she padded over to the living room. 

Bellatrix was sprawled on the sofa, covered in a heavy blanket. Her hair, wild and unruly, was splayed across her pillow and face; the lips that Hermione had dreamt of were slightly parted. Bellatrix looked almost peaceful; her furrowed brow the only evidence that her dreams were not entirely serene. 

Hermione heard the sound of a door closing upstairs and decided that it wold be better to wake her sooner rather than later. Placing the cups own on the small table to her left, she hesitantly leaned down, hand outstretched and touched Bellatrix's shoulder. 

"Bella-ah!" Hermione's arm was seized and she was dragged close, a wand to her throat, before Bellatrix's name had fully left her mouth. The older woman's eyes were blazing, furious, until she blinked. Her lips parted and she released Hermione, lowering her wand. 

"Hermione..." she murmured. The younger witch, still slightly shocked, caught the edge of the sofa to steady herself. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," Hermione assured her, standing up properly. "I made you a coffee."

Bellatrix surveyed her and then pushed the blanket from her. Hermione's eyes flicked over her automatically as the older woman swung her legs off the sofa, putting herself in to a seated position. She wore black satin; a thin strapped top and trouser set that clung to her in a highly distracting way. Hermione bit her lip and picked up her cup of tea in an effort to distract herself. It didn't help that Bellatrix raised her arms above her head and stretched, a satisfying pop emanating from her shoulders, giving Hermione a heart-faltering moment as her breasts pressed together. As if sensing Hermione's gaze fixed on her, Bellatrix's lips quirked in to a small smirk, although her eyes did not lift from the coffee that she reached for. When they did, it was to look at the clock on the mantelpiece. Her brow furrowed and she grimaced. 

"What in Merlin's name possessed you to wake me up before eight?" her eyes fixed on Hermione, who had managed to pull herself together so that she wasn't openly staring. As if on queue, they both heard movement from upstairs again and footsteps on the floor above. Hermione gestured at the ceiling. 

"I thought you'd appreciate a coffee and a chance to change before anyone saw you."

Bellatrix's eyes flicked over Hermione, who was still in her pyjamas; an oversized t-shirt and some fluffy socks that she suddenly became self-conscious about. SHe fidgeted as Bellatix's eyebrow quirked in amusement as her eyes landed on them. 

"And yet, you haven't dressed."

"Well, we usually stay in pyjamas on Boxing Day unless there's a snowball fight of course." Hermione gave her a mischievous smile. "Not that you would want to take the chance of losing again."

"I did not lose," Bellatrix chuckled as she grabbed the jumper that Mrs Weasley had knitted and slipped it over her head. When she had to fight to get all her hair through, Hermione giggled. The amused glare on the other woman's face as she managed to get the rest of her head through only made her smile widen. 

The appearance of Mrs Weasley, wrapped in a dressing gown, caused Hermione to realise that she was still standing, with no purpose, in front of Bellatrix. 

"Hermione, Bellatrix, you're up early," Mrs Weasley smiled at them both. 

"Habit," Hermione smiled. "Did you sleep well, Molly?"

"Yes, thank you dear. I'm just about to get started on breakfast."

"Sounds great," Hermione smiled. "Do you want any help?"

"No, I can manage dear, thank you." She came further in to the living room and settled down on her favourite seat. "I wanted to talk to you both."

Hermione fidgeted, apprehensive; she glanced at Bellatrix, who looked uncomfortable, but not at all surprised. Looking back at Mrs Weasley, Hermione realised that she was waiting for Hermione to sit down and she hesitated slightly, until Bellatrix silently slid over, leaving a space for her on the sofa, between her and the pillow that she had been using. The younger witch sat gratefully, still gripping her tea and trying not to think too much about how warm it was and how close they were when the bedding was taking up space. Her throat suddenly dry, Hermione took a gulp of her tea and focused on Mrs Weasley. 

"Hermione, I just want you to know that I consider you a part of our family and you will always be welcome here. I can't say that I don't wish you and Ron could have been together; I would have loved for it to be official. But with the way he has behaved to you... I am so sorry for his behaviour. I know that last night was not the first time that he has confronted you about your relationship. Andy told me about the last time. I hope that we have seen the worst of it."

Hermione stayed silent, gazing in to her cup of tea, unsure of how to respond. She could not make the situation any better; she would no longer excuse Ron's behaviour, especially not after the way he had spoken to Bellatrix. As if reading her mind, Mrs Weasley continued. 

"Bellatrix, I'm not sure how you became roped in to this but I apologise to you as well. I want to assure you that what Ronald said; that is not how this family views you. Your contribution to the war will be remembered forever. The Order will pass it on to their children and we will never forget. I want you to know that."

Hermione dared to look at Bellatrix; her face was blank as usual, although Hermione found that now she could see the small traces of emotion in the older woman's body. Her hands were taut, her body a little rigid and she slowly swallowed, although she had not collected her coffee from the table. Her eyes connected momentarily with hermione's and the recognition of their mutual connection flitted through the older woman's eyes briefly. 

"Thank you, Molly," Bellatrix replied steadily. "I appreciate you coming to talk to myself and Miss Granger, but I believe that reconciliation rests purely between your son and her. I am too old to be upset by a child and his words."

Mrs Weasley's eyes flashed momentarily, an automatic protective response, before she pursed her lips and nodded. 

"Well, Hermione, I can only hope that the friendship that the two of you had is strong enough to withstand this."

"I do too," Hermione admitted softly, smiling at Molly gently. She truly meant it; she would hate to lose so much of the love in her life because Ron could not accept the end of their romantic relationship. 

"And if he ever does something like that again, you go ahead and hex, ok?" Molly winked, smiling. Hermione chuckled and nodded, knowing that the woman next to her had already been tempted more than once. "Well, I'm glad we could have this talk. I had better make a start on breakfast."

She left the two women sitting silence on the sofa. Hermione looked over at Bellatrix after a moment, her fingers playing nervously with the cup in her hands. She didn't know if the conversation would send the older woman back to the place that she had been in the previous evening. She was frowning at her lap, but after a moment she looked over and met Hermione's eyes. 

"Are you ok?" Hermione murmured. Bellatrix's lips quirked and she smiked, rolling her eyes. 

"Don't worry so much; I'm hardly fragile."

"That would be one of the last things I would call you." Hermione smiled back, taking another sip of her tea. Bellatrix retrieved her cup of coffee from the table and took a sip, mulling over her next words. 

"You would really forgive him?" She asked, her voice quieter, after another moment of comfortable silence. Hermione hesitated, her cup paused mid air. 

"I don't know." Her voice was soft and a little sad. "It would depend on what he said and how he said it. He's hurt me and it's not even that he said those things. It's that he didn't respect me enough to accept that it was over."

She turned slightly, facing more towards her companion. Bellatrix was watching her curiously. Hermione knew that her cheeks were turning pink and she felt the urge to ook away be overpowered by the desire to keep the connection. 

"You are too good," Bellatrix's voice was so soft that Hermione almost missed it. If her cheeks had been red before, she hated to think what they looked like now. 

"No," Hermione lowered her voice, aware that Mrs Weasley was not that far away. "I'm not."

Bellatrix studied her closely. Hermione knew what Bellatrix had meant; that she was too nice, too forgiving but ultimately too good for Ron. But she couldn't help but think of their conversation at Andy's, where Bellatrix had proclaimed that she would also hold Hermione back. Hermione couldn't, wouldn't, agree; even if they were settled on being friends. 

"Would you really hex him?" Bellatrix asked, her voice huskier than before. 

"Yes." 

"Why didn't you last night?"

"I was holding you back," Hermione settled her tea down on the table, settling down more comfortably on the sofa. "I wasn't sure what you'd do to him after what he did... after what he said."

"He would have deserved it," Bellatrix reminded her. 

"Probably," Hermione smiled gently. "But he is an auror now and I didn't want you getting in to trouble. If I had hexed him..."

"... they'd be more likely to believe you than me." Bellatrix finished. Her tone wasn't exactly bitter, but Hermione could see it in her eyes. 

"Yes." She couldn't help it; her fingers twitched, wanting to touch - to comfort- Bellatrix. The older woman noticed; her eyes falling on Hermione's hands. 

"While your protective nature might be considered endearing, Granger, I assure you that I can take care of myself."

"I know. That doesn't mean I can resist wanting to help." 

Bellatrix wanted to argue, Hermione could see that. But Hermione held up a hand, halting her. "You believe I'm a skilled; that I can handle myself well, yes?"

Bellatrix snorted, but she considered the younger witch carefully before answering. 

"If you focused on your duelling you'd be even better." Bellatrix offered her a wry smile which had Hermione rolling her eyes. 

"And yet you still stupefied him. You _helped._ " 

Bellatrix's eyes narrowed. She considered Hermione, who was grinning victoriously, with some level of amusement. Still, Hermione could see that she was thinking, deeply, about her response. She shifted, tucking her legs up under her and leaning on the back of the sofa. Bellatrix watched her, then opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the sound of some sleepy Weasley children walking down stairs. 

"I'm starving!" George said; he was followed by Charlie, Percy, Bill and Fleur. Hermione watched Bellatrix immediately return to her more reserved self and she sighed at the loss. She desperately wanted to know every facet of Bellatrix's thoughts and person. 

"'Mione!" George crowed, spotting them. "You're still here; half expected you to have smothered Ron in his sleep and done a runner."

Hermione rolled her eyes and grinned. 

"Morning George, I guess that means your hearing really was affected - surely you could hear him snoring?"

"Hard to miss!" He winked fondly at her and then looked over in to the kitchen. "How's breakfast mum? Want a hand?"

"No George dear, but you could wake the others for me?"

"Don't worry about that mum; they'll be up soon enough."

Hermione could practically feel Mrs Weasley's glare, despite not being able to see her. 

"What did you do?"

A second later, several loud bangs and whistles erupted upstairs, followed by yells, shrieks and a loud "GEOOOORGE!" from Mr Weasley. Everyone roared with laughter, except Mrs Weasley and Bellatrix, who nevertheless seemed to be struggling to hide her smile. Hermione, laughing, looked at her, and she saw the warmth in the older woman's eyes. She had long suspected that the woman liked the twins, in spite of their pranks in school, especially after the Umbridge situation. 

The thunder of footsteps above and Mrs Weasley's chastisements covered their moment and they were both yanked from it when they heard Ron's voice on the stairs. 

"-bloody hang him, putting a firework under my pillow; what kind of-" the rant stopped as the rest of the guests appeared downstairs. Hermione could hear Ted laughing before he arrived. 

"THERE IS A BABY IN THIS HOUSE, GEORGE." Molly yelled but Ted waved away her complaints. 

"Someone put a spell on the crib; he couldn't hear a thing." He looked at George who shrugged, but with a small smile that gave him away. "Besides, he thought it was hilarious, watching us leaping up like that."

Andy appeared, looking a little dishevelled and less than amused, holding Teddy. 

"Well we know not to leave Teddy with you too much George. I survived Tonks growing up but I'm a lot older now; not sure I can handle too many of those heart attacks." Still, she said this without any real anger. 

"Sorry, Andy, had to keep this lot on their toes." George had the decency to look a little ashamed, although Hermione doubted her really felt it. It was then that Hermione saw Ron and Harry standing above Andy; Ron's eyes fixed on her. She saw Harry nudge him, but all he did was look away from her, scowling. 

Ron did not acknowledge her again. They sat through breakfast and the tension between the two was palpable. Hermione took solace in the fact that Bellatrix was next to her again. When Hermione saw Ron glare at her when she laughed with Harry, Bellatrix's hand brushed hers. It seemed accidental; she had not reacted, but Hermione felt the comfort from it anyway. 

After breakfast, George announced that they had to have a re-match for the snowball fight. They went upstairs to get dressed, Bellatrix ahead of Hermione as she went to the bathroom to change. Hermione did her best not to stare. When they got to Ginny's room, Hermione paused outside the door and watched as Bellatrix headed towards the bathroom. At the door, Bellatrix stopped and looked back, giving Hermione a smirk and a wink, before going in to the bathroom.

Ginny pounced on her the second Hermione was inside her room and had closed the door. 

"Ok, what on earth is going on?"


	18. Boxing Day: Snowball Fights and Departures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The snowball fight re-match that everyone (but mainly Bellatrix) wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just out here, surviving quarantine by providing all your snowball fight needs.

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked, grabbing the clothes she planned to change in to from her bag. 

"I mean, what's going on?" Ginny started rummaging in her drawers looking for clothing for herself. "I drank so much that all I can remember is Ron being a dick and everyone yelling... and I think I cried. And now he's ignoring you, except when he's glaring, but Black can't stop looking at you whenever you're not looking at her." Hermione faltered, blushing, as Ginny caught her breath. She tugged her jeans up and buttoned them, playing for time. Ginny noticed. "Oh Merlin, something happened. Did you _kiss?_ "

"Ginny! Shhhh!" Hermione looked over to the door, praying that no-one was being nosy. "Nothing happened. There was no kissing." _Outside of my dreams, anyway..._

"Oh," Ginny looked disappointed. "Then what happened?"

So Hermione relayed what had happened the previous evening from Ron confronting her outside to Mrs Weasley and Andy dragging him inside. She left out the intimate moments, the conversations; she did not want to share those. She didn't think Bellatrix would want her to share them. 

"Jeez, I'd have expected her to do worse than that to him, honestly."

"Well, I kind of held her back. If I hadn't, we'd have probably both hexed him."

"You _held her back_?" Ginny stared even harder. 

"Yes. He was antagonising her; what was I supposed to do?"

"Oh I'm not saying you shouldn't have. I'm just amazed it worked."

"You sound like Andy. She said something similar when Bellatrix... when they were discussing it last night."

"Ok, do not for one second think I'm going to let you get away with the fact that you just called her Bellatrix." Ginny was smirking at her, far too victorious for Hermione's liking. "But if we don't hurry up they're all going to come looking for us."

Hermione, relieved, grabbed her hat and gloves and followed Ginny out of the door. The others were gathered in the kitchen, even Bellatrix, whose eyes immediately locked on Hermione. The younger witch felt that thrill run through her again, as it did in varying degrees whenever Bellatrix looked at her. It was like a steadying breath; filling her with life and a sense of something that she couldn't quite place, but felt surprisingly like comfort. The thick eyelashes fluttered over onyx eyes briefly and Hermione's breath caught. How she could have ever regarded this woman as a mere distraction, she didn't know. 

"Same teams as before?" George asked, breaking their focus on each other. Hermione glanced at Ginny, find her smirking again, and rolled her eyes only to see Ron glaring again; his eyes flicking between her and Bellatrix. 

Hermione felt a nervousness spring in to her; the last time she had seen him this angry was when he had been under the influence of the locket horcrux. 

"That's the only fair way to have a rematch," Harry grinned. "Need to give you all a chance to regain your dignity."

Bellatrix shot him an amused glare. 

"The only chance it gives us, Potter, is to watch you go head first in to a snowdrift... again."

The laughter followed them outside and they separated in to teams. Hermione watched Bellatrix rounding up their team, no doubt with a plan in mind. She noticed that Ron did not join them before Ginny dragged her in to their own team huddle. The plan was simple; pick a member of the opposite team and take them out. If they surrendered, pair up with another team mate to help them. 

"Andy, I guess you're the best choice to take out your sister?" Bill said. He and Fleur had already chosen Percy and Charlie as their opponents. "So who wants Ted?"

"I will," Harry offered. 

"Actually," Andy spoke up. "I think I'll take Ron. Hermione can keep my sister on her toes and she beat her last time. I'd hate to deprive them of a rematch."

Hermione chuckled. Andy didn't fool her; she knew that the woman was as knowledgeable as Ginny when it came to what was happening between her and Bellatrix, maybe even more so if Bellatrix had opened up to her sister. Ginny was grinning too and Harry's answering smile made her wonder just how many people had figured out that there was something more than friendship bubbling under the surface of every interaction they had. A twinge of concern in her stomach sobered her a little; if it were this obvious, how hard would it be to hide when they returned to school? Would people notice? Or would Bellatrix shrink away from her so far that they would never know that something had changed between the witches? The thought had been playing at the back of her mind but now, brought to the front, she realised that it was not the thought of the consequences of this being brought to light; it wasn't as though they had done anything anyway. It was the idea that Bellatrix had considered it too. That Bellatrix might be planning to withdraw when they returned and leave Hermione craving her even more than she did now. 

"Hermione!" Harry pulled her arm, dragging her towards shelter. "We're starting."

A snowball shattered, inches from them, as they dove behind a bush. 

"Oof," Hermione collided with Ginny, who dropped a snowball she'd been preparing. "Sorry, Gin."

"It's ok. What happened?" She asked as she gathered the snow together to make another ball. "I thought you were right behind us but then you were just standing there."

"Nothing; I just had a lot on my mind." Ginny smirked at her. "Not like that."

"Alright, as long as you're ok?" Ginny paused, her expression more serious. 

"I'm fine," Hermione replied, only half lying. "Come on, we have to beat them."

"Damn right," Ginny grinned, standing and hurling the snowball. A few seconds later there came a muffled 'ow!' and Ginny's grin widened. 

"George?" Hermione asked. 

"Yep!"

It soon became apparent that the other team had a similar strategy to them. Hermione ran, dodging flying snowballs and sliding behind the chicken coop, where she came face to face with Andy. 

"Found my sister yet?" Andy asked in a hushed tone, grinning. 

"Not yet. Found Ron?" Hermione replied. Andy grinned and nodded, pointing towards the blue car, not far from them. Ron had his back to them; Andy had been stockpiling snowballs. 

"He's not going to know what hit him," she murmured, her grin becoming sly. Hermione, not for the first time, was reminded of how similar Bellatrix and Andy were. Unable to resist the urge, she stayed to watch the ambush. 

The first two of Andy's snowballs hit Ron in the back, the third hit him in the head with such a force that his head collided with the car. Hermione laughed, knowing it wasn't hard enough to really hurt, and seeing his indignant face searching for his attacker. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a flash of black clothing flitting through the snow from behind the barn in to the trees. She leapt up and took after it, determined to catch Bellatrix. 

When she reached the trees she had a moment of deja-vu and ducked behind a tree, just as a snowball went flying through the spot she had been in. Bellatrix's cackle sounded close and she gathered up a snowball, readying herself. She stepped out from behind the tree and a snowball hit her, square in the back, not from the direction she had been expecting. She whirled around laughing, ready to respond, but another snowball hit her in the face. She winced, dropping her snowball as she reached up to clear the snow from her eyes. Another hit the arm covering her face and she glared, lowering it. Ron stood a few metres away, gathering together more snow. 

"Expecting your girlfriend?" He asked, smirking. "You almost knocked me out with that last snowball."

Hermione ducked behind a tree as the next snowball came flying. 

"That wasn't me; it was Andy," she called, gathering snow for a retaliation. 

"Liar. I heard you laugh. I saw you running." She could hear him moving; the crunch of snow under his feet seemed so loud to her. He was moving to her right; trying to get a clear shot. 

She peeked out from behind the tree and threw a snowball, hitting him in the chest. He started running towards her tree and threw another, this one catching him in the head. It slowed him down and she took the opportunity to run through the trees, trying to put some distance between them. She didn't know whether he would leave her alone if he couldn't find her, but something told her that she didn't want him to. 

She had almost reached her destination, a big, old oak, when fingers wrapped around her wrist and she felt herself being yanked sideways. For a split second she considered punching him, feeling her fight instinct kicking in, but as her head turned in the direction of the hand, she saw black. She found her back pressed against a tree, Bellatrix's finger hovering over her lips, onyx eyes staring in to hers. 

"What...?" The words stuck in her throat when Bellatrix's body pressed closer to her as the older woman peered around the tree, looking back the way she had come. "Bella... we're on different teams."

"Bella, hmm?" Bellatrix looked back at her, smirking, her voice low and husky. "You've been spending too much time with Andy."

"Sorry, I-" Bellatrix silenced her again, her eyebrow raised as her finger pressed against Hermione's lips. 

"If you'd rather I left you to deal with Weasel alone, I can," she smirked. "Or we can forget the competition for a moment and have some fun."

"Fun?" Hermione's eyebrow raised and she smiled against Bellatrix's finger. "Or revenge?"

"Aren't they the same thing?" Bellatrix teased. 

"Hermione opened her mouth to respond but they heard Ron moving closer. 

"Hermione! Come out!"

Hermione couldn't help but snort, amused, as Bellatrix smirked, lowering the finger from the younger woman's lips. 

"Do you think he knows how naive and half witted he is?" Bellatrix's eyes sparkled as she murmured her amusement; Hermione felt a stab of guilt for wanting to laugh, followed by a wave of annoyance that she felt guilt after what he had done in the last week or so. What he had said. Bellatrix's smile dimmed. "Perhaps that was insensitive of me."

"No... well, maybe. I just... I'm finding it difficult to work out how to be around him. Not that I have to for much longer I suppose." Bellatrix looked at her, questioning silently. "I have to go home tonight. Get the house ready for my parents before they come back."

"Oh," Bellatrix practically breathed the word, the huff of air visible in the cold. Hermione watched the conflict in her eyes war for a few moments before she blinked and her eyes returned to normal. "Of course."

"You know what? Fuck you." They both stilled, hearing Ron's growl, closer than they had expected. "Fuck you, fuck Black." 

They heard what sounded like him kicking a pile of snow and then he started stomping back towards where the sounds of the snowball fight could still be heard. Hermione let out a breath she wasn't aware she'd been holding, feeling herself relax a little. Bellatrix's eyes were drawn back to her. Hermione was reminded again that Bellatrix was pressing her in to the tree and she gulped, her tongue flicking out to wet her lips nervously. Onyx eyes followed the movement and Hermione saw them darken. 

"I don't know what I ever saw in him," Hermione murmured, her eyes tracing over Bellatrix's face, taking the intimate moment for all it was worth. "He can't even compare..."

She trailed off, watching the way the words changed Bellatrix's expression. Her eyes grew darker still, flicking between Hermione's eyes and lips, her own lips parting slightly before she closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. 

"Hermione..." She could see the conflict in Bellatrix's face; the woman's jaw was tight and her nostril's flared as she took a deep breath. It made her heart thunder, realising how difficult this was for Bellatrix. Realising that perhaps Bellatrix was fighting the same kind of feelings that Hermione had allowed to run free in herself. She felt a sadness inside her; Bellatrix had reason to fight this. She should fight it, if she cared at all about her position at school. Hermione wasn't exactly making that easy. She closed her own eyes briefly, breathing in the scent of the other woman. Then she opened her eyes and shifted, causing Bellatrix's eyes to fly open. "What-"

"- I think I've had enough of this game," Hermione murmured. Bellatrix's eyes widened. "You can tell them that I surrendered, if you'd like. I ought to go inside and pack my things."

Bellatrix was hesitant, still too close to allow Hermione to move. For a moment, Hermione thought that she wouldn't let her leave, but only for a moment. Bellatrix slowly stood back from her, watching her guardedly. 

"You're going now?"

"I don't think it's wise for me to stay."

"Why?"

"Well for one thing; Ron is going to make every moment uncomfortable and without me here they might actually get a chance at a normal Christmas break."

"You shouldn't have to leave your friends because of that toad-slime, pimple of a boy."

"It's not just him." Hermione saw Bellatrix's jaw tighten again and finished her sentence before the other woman could interrupt. "I've been selfish. I thought that if you could not see me the way that I see you, that friendship might be a way for me to keep you close. Perhaps then you'd see... but I think you already do. You're fighting this and you have your reasons, so it would be selfish and cruel of me to continue to be so determined and self-serving. It's hurting you to resist but it is made harder when I remind you that I don't want to resist at all. I don't want to be a source of pain to you; that's the last thing I would want." 

Bellatrix's anger had been flaring inside of her and as soon as Hermione finished she responded. 

"You think you know what I feel? You're in dangerous waters, Granger. I don't have friends; any that ever claimed to be my friend only did so because they wanted something. You only want my friendship because somewhere in your brain you think that we are something beyond that, but I am damaged goods. I don't get the 'happy ending' you all seem to cling to like children. This is real life; there are no happily ever afters. Not for people like me. The world judged me long ago and it won't allow me a moment of happiness without tearing it apart. I have been painted the villain, black as my name, and for some I will always play that part. Not even you could clean the slate that has been dealt me. Hermione Granger, brightest witch of her age; the angel of the wizarding world. Your persistence frustrates me. I thought you were clever enough to not waste your efforts on me. I must have been mistaken."

Hermione's heart ached, hurt; the words cut her like a knife. She felt tears well in her eyes and fought them back, angry. 

"You think I had a choice? Would it not be easier for me to be happy in ignorance? To love Ron, or someone like him, to plan a future where I become Minister for Magic while managing to have a a relationship, maybe children, maybe not, a house, a home... all of that? I can't help what I feel; I'm only trying to control my actions. But you; you're in denial! You think you don't deserve happiness? You're the only one stopping yourself from being happy. You've spent so long dealing in lies and secrecy that you've forgotten who you are; you don't know how to be honest anymore, even to yourself! I am no angel; neither are you. Who is? Our reputations were built through war, battles and bloodshed. We've lost friends, family; years of our lives that should have been different and now have forever changed us! How dare you tell me that I'm wasting my efforts in pursuing happiness when I see a glimpse of it!"

"I would not make you happy!"

"How do you know?"

They both stood, panting, glaring at each other as they caught their breaths from their outbursts. Hermione was the first to pull herself together, taking a large gulp of breath and dashing away the tears that threatened to spill over. Bellatrix's eyes burned in to her and Hermione felt that the heat was too intense. She couldn't stand it. Turning on her heel, she marched away, feeling her emotions rolling off of her in waves. 

She ignored the snowball fight as she passed those still involved. Not a single snowball flew as she stormed towards the front door and she suspected that those that saw her knew that something was wrong. Entering the house she hurried upstairs, glad that Mr and Mrs Weasley seemed to be nowhere in sight. She grabbed her bag, magicked those things that she had out in to it and went to head downstairs again. She paused in the kitchen, her eyes flicking over to the sofa that Bellatrix had slept on. The older witch's bag as tucked behind it. 

Hermione dropped her bag on the table and opened it, summoning the book, a piece of parchment and quill. She wrote the note, still shaking with emotion. 

_“’I am not an angel,’ I asserted; ‘and I will not be one till I die: I will be myself. Mr. Rochester,_  
 _you must neither expect nor exact anything celestial of me–for you will not get it,_  
 _any more than I shall get it of you: which I do not at all anticipate.’_ ”

She slipped the note in to the pages of the book and placed it inside Bellatrix's bag; she had promised her Jane Eyre, after all. 

Harry appeared as she went back to her bag, looking concerned. 

"Hermione, what's going on?"

"I've got to go. I need to get the house ready for mum and dad."

"What right now? We haven't even had lunch-"

"-Come on Harry, it's not exactly easy for me to stick around here right now," she snapped, immediately regretting it when the words were out of her mouth. "Sorry."

"That's ok. I saw Ron come back from the woods before you did; he wasn't an ass again was he?"

"He's always an ass these days," Hermione responded, picking up her bag. "I don't want to be around him and if I'm gone then he might stop being such a dick and let you all have a good holiday."

"Well, sod that," Harry grinned, giving her a wink. "I've never been to your house, Hermione. Need some help getting it ready?"

"Harry, you don't have-"

"-I know I don't have to. But honestly I could do with a break from him too. Besides, with him taking up all the air we haven't had a chance to have a proper catch up and I miss you. I see him all the time, but you're still at school and you spent most of your time there before it re-opened, fixing it up." 

Hermione felt a warmth fill her. She had missed Harry, more than she had realised. It was true; she'd hadn't been around much. The breakup had caused a rift between her and Ron, that was true, but in the process she and Harry had lost time too. She reached out and pulled him in to a hug. 

"You're right. I'm sorry Harry; I'd love for you to come." Harry pulled back and offered her a grin. 

"Great. Best go grab my stuff then. Do me a favour though; let's have lunch first? I don't want to just duck out on Ginny."

Hermione felt a twinge of guilt and nodded. Harry put a reassuring hand on her shoulder and headed upstairs to pack his bags. At a loss of what to do, and dreading the possibility that Ron, or Bellatrix, might return when she was alone, Hermione sat at the kitchen table and fidgeted with the fabric of her charmed bag. 

It didn't take Harry long to come downstairs and it was only shortly after that the others began to reappear inside. Ginny, Percy, Charlie, Andy and Ted were first. 

"Hermione, where did you go?" Ginny cried, spotting her. "I was worried."

"Black beat me fair and square; I thought I'd come in and get packed ready to go after lunch." Hermione explained. Ginny's face dropped a little, especially when she looked and saw Harry's bag packed too. 

"Harry?"

"Thought I'd keep Hermione company and help her get the house ready for her parents," he said cheerfully. "They're coming back on the twenty-eighth, so I'll just stay until that morning and then come back and continue the holiday as planned - if that's alright with you and your parents?" 

Ginny looked between them and then understanding dawned. 

"Of course. That's such a good idea, Harry," she smiled and kissed him on the cheek, making him blush a little. As if on queue, Mr and Mrs Weasley appeared downstairs, looking slightly pink in the cheeks. The Weasley children all stared at their parents for a moment before coughing and looking elsewhere. 

"Well that was a short fight; who won?" Mr Weasley asked. 

"Um... there's still some of them battling it out," Charlie replied. "George and Black for our team, Ron if you count him but I reckon he should be out and that's coming from someone on his team. Can't find Black anywhere but she's not in here so I'm guessing she's still out there." Andy's eyes slipped to Hermione at this, who avoided her gaze. "Bill and Fleur from the other; damn those two make a good team."

Everyone chuckled, although Hermione's felt forced. 

"Well, I'd better get lunch on... Hermione, Harry, your bags are packed?" Mrs Weasley commented, looking surprised. 

"Yeah, I'm going to go and help Hermione get ready for her parents returning. I'll come back on the twenty-eighth, if that's alright?"

"Of course it is dear. I just didn't realise Hermione was leaving so soon!" Mrs Weasley looked a little upset but she smiled at Hermione anyway. "I've made you some bread and put aside some leftovers for you to take home, so you don't have to rush to get food in, dear."

"Thank you," Hermione said gratefully. "That's so lovely."

"Right, well, lunch!" Mrs Weasley began to shoo them out of the kitchen in to the living room. Andy caught Hermione's arm. 

"Hermione, before you go, can I have a word?"

"Uh, yes of course, Andy."

"I need to check on Teddy; let's go upstairs."

Hermione followed Andy and only when they were closed in the room her and Ted were using did Andy turn to her. 

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on or am I going to have to hunt Bella down and get it out of her?"

"I don't know where she is," Hermione sighed. "She was still in the woods when I came in. Ron was there and she hid me and then when he left we argued and... I just need to go Andy. We can't be around each other like this."

"You and Ron, or you and Bella?"

"Both."

Andy sighed and pulled Hermione in to a hug. 

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry." Hermione hugged her back, tightly. "I truly am."

"Why? It's not your fault."

"No... but I knew that this would be hard for you. Hard for you both. I wish it could be easier, but perhaps that's why you know it's worth something. Because it's hard."

Hermione nodded and felt tears running down her cheeks. She pulled back and wiped them away. 

"Should we be worried? That she's not come in?"

"No... I imagine she'll be dwelling on every moment of your argument and taking it out on the foliage. I'll go and find her while you have lunch. But I think it's probably wise that you're gone before she gets back."

"Yes..." Hermione murmured sadly. "It probably is."

Back downstairs, Andy handed Teddy to Ted, made her excuses and headed outside again, looking for her sister. By that point, the others had come inside. Ron was point blank ignoring Hermione at that point and anyone whose conversation involved her. They ate lunch and Hermione felt the relief when her and Harry announced that they were leaving, shortly after it was finished. Bellatrix and Andy had not appeared. 

They said their goodbyes; Ron disappeared upstairs to avoid them both, no doubt thinking Harry was choosing Hermione's side. As they walked outside, heading for the apparition spot, Hermione glanced over to the woods. Her heart hurt, knowing that she would likely not see Bellatrix again until school had resumed. Unless, of course, there was a storm. 

_What will happen then?_ Hermione pondered as she focused on following Harry. _If we have to meet alone? Will she come? Or will she leave me waiting on the doorstep and set back my plans to become an animagus?_

Feeling uncertain, Hermione turned on the spot next to Harry, both getting one last look at the Burrow before they apparated and left it behind. 


	19. Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many, many letters passed back and forth and a little surprise at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a little smut, only the smallest mention but still a little to wet the appetite (pun intended) near the end.
> 
> Also, the fabulous [Inflinty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inflinty) has made a ton of memes for this story because she's fabulous. You can find them here: https://imgur.com/a/QamsqHj

Hermione and Harry landed in the kitchen of her parent's house. She had not been back since the day she had obliviated her parents; too focused on helping Hogwarts recover and avoiding the memories that only she then held on to. 

Harry put his bag down as he looked around. 

"This is nice; I can't believe I've never been here before."

He turned around and looked at Hermione, who had not yet moved. "You ok?"

Hermione heard the words, but they didn't properly register. She was home, for the first time in so long, but it felt so wrong. The thin layers of dust over everything, the emptiness; the stillness. She was suddenly so grateful that Harry had come with her, but even with him she felt lonely. No, not lonely... she was overwhelmingly sad. 

It all caught up with her quickly and the tears that she had dashed away in front of Bellatrix earlier came flooding back. They spilled out, unstoppable and poured down her cheeks. She saw Harry's surprised concern and a sob erupted from her. Harry opened his arms and she fell in to them. She cried until it was all gone, leaving large wet patches on Harry's jumper. He held her tight, saying nothing until she had calmed; allowing her to get it all out. When her sobs faded and were replaced by embarrassed sniffing, he released her gently and collected a tissue for her from a box on the side. 

"Here," he said as he handed it over. "I'll put the kettle on and we can talk if you want?"

Hermione nodded and sat down at the kitchen table, blowing her nose. Harry made tea, thankful that Mrs Weasley had given them a small jar of milk. Then they sat there, with hands wrapped around warms mugs, and Harry listened. 

"I don't know where to start Harry," Hermione admitted. 

"The beginning usually works," he teased, trying to make her smile. To his credit, she did flash him a small smile before sighing. 

"So many things have changed. This place was my home... is my home? But coming here; it's the first time since I obliviated my parents and it doesn't feel real. I don't feel like this place is home anymore."

"Maybe that's just because they're not here. Home is where the heart is, they say."

Hermione fiddled with the handle of her mug pensively. 

"I'm not sure where that is anymore. It feels torn."

"Your heart?" He asked and she nodded. Who was she kidding? Her heart didn't feel torn; hurt, sure. Lost, desperately wishing that she had never fallen for... maybe. She didn't know if she _could_ regret it. Regret her. Despite everything, the most important thing that had come out of her recent conversation with Bellatrix wasn't that the other woman didn't feel the same way. It was that she didn't feel like she deserved love and that knowledge broke Hermione's heart. If anything, after everything she had been through, Bellatrix Black _deserved_ to be loved. 

"It's not just about Ron, is it?" Harry asked carefully. 

"No, Harry, it's not." Hermione took a sip of her tea; her throat felt dry and tender from crying. 

"You're in love with her?"

Both of them knew that he didn't have to clarify. As oblivious as Harry could be, this was blindingly obvious. 

"Yes. I'm in love with her."

"Does she love you?" He asked and then backtracked. "Wait, no. Has she ever told you that she doesn't feel the same way?"

"Yes, I..." Hermione paused. No, Bellatrix had said many things in response to Hermione's feelings; that she wouldn't make her happy, that she was more than twice her age and her teacher, the list went on... but she had never said that she didn't feel the same. "No. She's never said that she didn't feel the same."

"What has she said?" He asked, so Hermione told him. It felt like a great release, telling Harry. He wouldn't judge her, wouldn't gossip. This conversation would remain between them and she knew that without a shadow of a doubt. "Well... I don't know, Hermione. I won't pretend to be the expert. But I've known her as long as you have and she's definitely looking at you differently."

Hermione bit her lip. 

"I think for a while there she actually let her guard down with me, Harry. I'm not sure why she suddenly put up those walls again. She already knew how I felt; it's not like I told her anything new."

"You know, for someone so clever, you really can be thick sometimes." He chuckled sympathetically. "She's scared, Hermione."

"You can't know that."

"Black is one of the most confident, dauntless people I've ever met and from what you've told me, it sounds like she loses that around you; especially when you show her that you care. It's got to be unnerving for her; finding someone that makes her feel that way when she's spent her life being someone that others hate? It's got to be difficult to trust you, to trust herself. She's spent such a large part of her life only trusting people who are, for the most part, dead now."

Hermione stared at Harry. Perhaps that was it. Bellatrix had always been lonely, isolated; focused on a mission that must have felt endless. Always having to be careful, never letting her guard down. Hermione's persistence, her ability to get under Bellatrix's skin and show her that she cared must be unsettling. She had opened up to Hermione, shown her vulnerability and her last form of defence was the humour; the teasing and flirtatious relationship they had. When Hermione stopped being playful, became serious, it was too much to accept. Maybe that was it... she had told her that she'd had 'enough of this game' and she hadn't just meant the snowball fight. Bellatrix had become withdrawn and then defensive immediately afterwards. 

"I... wow. You may be right."

"Well, don't sound too surprised," he grinned. She gave him a relieved smile, relaxing a little. 

"I'm not, I just... she's so complicated. I mean everyone is complicated but she is just another level." Hermione shook her head. "I had to go and fall for the most complicated, unreachable person I know."

"That's not really a surprise," Harry chuckled and then dodged her attempt at smacking his arm. "Hey! I mean, I was surprised to begin with. But when you lay it out? She's educated, which you respect, admire and are yourself. She's been in the eye of the same storm, the war, that we have and survived. You're both skilled magic users with strong opinions, both determined, passionate and outspoken... plus she might not be my type but she's beautiful. It doesn't surprise me that you fell for her."

Hermione's cheeks burned but she nodded. 

"You know what, Harry? I love you. I don't think I've told you that."

Harry blushed and shrugged. 

"I think we both know that we've shown that many times over, 'Mione." He put his hand on hers, comfortingly. "I couldn't ask for a better sister."

***

They ordered pizza that night, saving the leftovers for the next day. Hermione had used magic to rid the house of dust but neither of them had wanted to do much else. So they sat and ate and talked late in to the night. 

"I enjoy it, thank Merlin," Harry said, about his job as an Auror. "Can you imagine if it had been terrible? After all we went through?"

"Well I'm sure you'd have found another job."

"I guess," Harry shrugged. "I'm just happy that I've found what I want. What about you? What are you going to do on your journey to being Minister of Magic?"

Hermione chuckled and shook her head.

"I used to think I'd have it all planned by now but so much has changed."

"So what are you going to do when school is finished?"

"I got approached by a couple of departments, you know, before I told them I was going to finish school. I think I'll start with the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Carry on what I started with S.P.E.W and undo the mess with those relationships. Then maybe Magical Law Enforcement before Minister."

"So you have planned it after all," Harry laughed. 

"I no longer consider that to be a full-proof plan," Hermione replied, staring in to her glass of win. "There are so many things missing from it. So many things I want and we've all just been reminded how short life is... how precious it is. I've been planning my life for years and I wonder whether the unplanned things are the most important? The way we respond to them shapes us more than the planning of things."

"I think you're right, Hermione," Harry smiled before emptying his glass. "I also think it's too late for us to be this philosophical."

Hermione laughed. 

"Sorry, Harry."

"You've got to stop apologising so much. When did that start?"

"I don't know," Hermione sighed. "I just don't feel very sure of myself right now."

"Because of the situation with Black?"

"We said we weren't going to talk about her again."

"We said we wouldn't talk about her again 'today'. Technically, it's tomorrow now."

"Smart ass."

"Coming from you, that's a huge compliment," he chuckled. 

Hermione rolled her eyes and took another sip of wine. 

"Yes," she finally responded. "It's because of her, partially. It's also because I've changed so much."

"You know you could always take a year out? Figure it out, travel, read, research... whatever you wanted."

"Maybe..." Hermione replied thoughtfully and decided to think about it again when she was more sober. "Maybe I could..."

***

The next day, Harry helped Hermione get the house ready, including going to the shops and filling the fridge. They had just put away the last of the shopping when Hermione spotted an owl sitting on the window ledge, regarding them carefully. She collected the letters from him and he waited, cleaning his feathers, while she looked at the bundle. There was a note from Andy, along with two envelopes, embossed with the Malfoy seal. 

"Is that...?"

"Looks like." Harry peered over her shoulder as she began to open the envelope addressed to her, reading the note from Andy in the prcoess. 

_Dearest Hermione,_

_These were delivered to the Burrow for you and Harry alongside the other invites._

_I imagine that your first instinct will be to decline but please consider it. This is a_

_l_ _arge step for us all and I would dearly like the support of a friend. As would my_

_sister, although she would not admit it. I have not been able to pull her away from_

_the gift that you left behind; I thought you would like to know. I hope you are well_

_and that your reunion is everything you hope it will be. You are missed here._

_Yours,_

_Andy_

_P.s Teddy said his first word. Imagine my surprise when it was 'wolfie'._

_Unfortunately, Bella was present and is currently smirking every time_

_he repeats it. I suppose at least we know what his favourite toy is.  
_

Snorting, unable to keep the smile from her lips, Hermione turned her attention to the envelope, now open, as she handed Harry his. It was a handwritten invitation in beautiful font; no doubt Narcissa's hand. 

_Narcissa Malfoy_

_welcome you to celebrate the New Year at_

_Malfoy Manor_

_at the behest of her son, Draco._

Then followed the details of the party including times, date and dress code. Hermione stared at the parchment in shock. 

"Wow," Harry's voice came from behind her and she turned to face him. "I didn't think he'd actually manage it."

"Manage what? You knew about this?"

"Yeah... Draco came to see me a few weeks ago. He wanted to talk; you know he works at the Ministry?"

"Yes. What did he want?"

"He didn't want anything. He came to apologise... well, in his own way. We've had a few conversations since then; even got drinks after work last week."

Hermione stared at him, surprised. 

"We're talking about you and Draco getting drinks. You're not kidding?"

"No. I was sceptical too but I figured after he didn't identify me at the Manor I should at least hear him out. Besides, his mum lied to Voldermort; I'd be dead if she hadn't."

"Yes and you spoke at her trial and made sure she didn't go to Azkaban. You'd think that would make you even."

"Woah, Hermione, I didn't realise you hated them so much," Harry frowned and Hermione sighed. 

"I don't. It's just... why invite us?"

"Draco convinced his mum to make an effort at reuniting her family, especially now that his father is in Azkaban. He wanted to put his family name back on track and he told me he wanted us to be there."

"Why?"

"Well, I think partially because us being there would be a show of support for their family; make them less like outcasts. But I also think that he's done a lot of thinking and he's really trying to do what's best. Move on with his life and step out from the shadow of his father..." Harry trailed off with a shrug. 

Hermione chewed her lip and looked at the invitation again. 

"He wants his mum to reunite his family? So-"

"-She'll have an invitation, yes. Whether she goes or not..."

***

When Harry was leaving the following morning, before Hermione was due to pick up her parents, he tried one last time to convince her to join them at Malfoy Manor.

"Just think about it, Hermione? You don't have to decide now. But it would be great to see you there."

"Harry... my parents will have only been back a couple of days. Besides, Ron will have had an invite."

"So this has nothing to do with Black?"

"I didn't say that. But there are other reasons." Hermione closed her eyes for a moment. "I wish it was just that easy."

***

Hermione didn't believe she had ever been hugged as tightly as she was when her parents spotted her waiting for them at the airport. They stayed there, connected, for what felt like forever and not long enough and tears fell from her eyes as she hugged them tighter still. 

She spent the rest of the day and evening catching up with them, although they were exhausted. They showed her pictures of their life in Australia and she told them about the last year or so; skipping over some of the details that she didn't think they needed to know about. It didn't escape her notice that their lives were so vastly different; although she loved them and they her, they would never fully understand what she was going through. What she'd been through. 

"I wish that you hadn't had to do what you did, Hermione," her mother said eventually, when they were sitting on the sofas as close as possible; still enjoying these precious moments together. "But I understand. I would have done the same to protect you, had I been in the same situation."

"I'm proud of you," her father said. 

It wasn't until she was in bed that Hermione allowed herself to think about Bellatrix again. The invitation sat on her bedside table, reminding her that she had a chance to see her if she wanted. 

_She would be dressed up again..._ Hermione squeezed her eyes tight to try and banish the thoughts that flew in to her mind. Memories of the winter ball, of Bellatrix's dress and the way she'd pushed Hermione against the wall of the alcove... _Oh fuck._

Hermione's mind swam with ideas of how that night could have gone. She bit her lip and tried to think of other things but she couldn't. She missed Bellatrix, missed her company, how she smiled, how she spoke... the smell of her when she was pressed against her. 

Squeezing her thighs together, Hermione squirmed. _This isn't fair. I'm mad at her. She keeps pushing me away._

_Hermione..._

Bellatrix's voice floated through her mind. 

_Maybe if I let myself... just this once... maybe it'll be easier when I see her again._

Hermione gave in and let her fingers slip under the over-sized t-shirt, pulling it out of the way. She let her head fall back, re-living the moments when Bellatrix had been close enough to kiss, to touch, as she let her hands explore. She imagined the way Bellatrix's eyes darkened, the way they did when Hermione bit her lip, and the way she had stroked her jaw after Hermione had kissed her mark. She imagined those long, strong fingers on her body and those red lips following with soft, passionate kisses... 

It didn't take long before Hermione was struggling to contain the little gasps coming from her as her hips rose off the bed. She heard Bellatrix's voice in her head and it pushed her over the edge. 

_Hermione..._

Collapsing, Hermione gasped for breath, seeing stars.

***

"You can go, Hermione," her mother insisted, when she told them the next day about the New Year's party. She hadn't planned to, but Ginny had sent an owl with a letter begging her to go. "You can be with your friends."

"You only just got back, mum, I don't-"

"And we'll be here when you get back from the party and you can tell us all about it the next day. I'd like that."

"But... Ron will be there."

"You're an adult, Hermione, even if he doesn't behave like he is. I doubt he'll do anything when there's a room full of people. Any more excuses?"

Her mother looked at her with a faux-stern frown, followed by a grin and wink. Hermione sighed. 

"I don't want to go mum."

"Well that's fine, if it's true. You can celebrate with your father and I. But something tells me you do."

Shaking her head, Hermione tied her answer to the owl's leg. 

_Ginny,_ _I miss you too, so much. I'm glad that you're still having fun._

_I can't go to the Malfoy's for New Year. You know why. I wish things were different._

_I'll see you when we're back to school._

_Love, H._

The owl flew off and she watched it go, feeling twinge of regret in her stomach. 

***

On the thirty-first of December, Hermione woke to a tapping on her window. She stumbled out of bed and drew the curtains, wincing as the streetlight outside lit up her face. It was still dark and the tapping was persistent. She opened the window and in hopped a raven. 

"Hugin... what are you doing here?"

Hermione's heart beat faster than usual as she saw the note and parcel attached to Hugin's leg. With fingers that trembled a little, she untied both and unfurled the note, using the light from the lamp outside to read. 

_"Her coming was my hope each day,  
Her parting was my pain;  
The chance that did her steps delay  
Was ice in every vein."_

_B_

Even with sleep still clouding her mind, she knew the words. She grasped the parcel and unwrapped it hurriedly, finding her copy of Jane Eyre. The song that Mr. Rochester sang to Jane... her heart faltered as she read the note again. 

She didn't dare hope that this was what it seemed but what else could it be? 

All Hermione knew was that she had to go to see her.

She had to go tonight. 


	20. New Year's Eve

Hermione knew that she should go back to sleep but she couldn't take her eyes away from the note. As the sun rose and spilled golden light through her window, she remained on her bed, her knees tucked under her chin and the note held delicately between her fingers. Her copy of Jane Eyre lay next to her and Hugin was napping on her bedside table. 

"Her coming was my hope each day, her parting was my pain..." she murmured, closing her eyes and letting her head rest back against the wall. Her thumbs stroked the parchment and she inhaled slowly, letting her shoulders relax with the exhale. "Damn it, Bella."

She woke again when her mother knocked on the door. 

"Hermione, are you awake? It's after nine."

"I'm awake, mum." Hermione groaned, feeling the stiffness in her body.

Her hand ached and she realised that she was still clutching the note. Smoothing it out, she slipped it in to her 'Jane Eyre' before getting up and stretching. Hugin shuffled, cleaning his feathers.

"Are you waiting for a reply?" She asked, stroking his feathers, "I won't send one. I think I can at least hold on to the surprise, right?"

Hugin made a croaking sound and then hopped over to the window. Hermione watched him fly off and then headed downstairs to the kitchen. Her parents were already sat around the table and there was a bowl of porridge waiting for her. 

"Morning mum, dad." She kissed them both and sat down helping herself to a cup of tea from the teapot.

"Morning, Hermione," her father smiled. Her mother offered her honey for her porridge which she too with another smile, poured it and began eating. 

"So, we were thinking of going to the shops and getting some food for tonight, then watching Jools Holland's Hootenanny together. What do you think?"

Hermione hesitated, looking at her mum over the rim of her cup. Her mum smiled. 

"You decided to go." It wasn't a question. 

"Yes," Hermione replied, relieved. "If that's alright with you both?"

"Of course! I told you to go. What made you change your mind?"

"A note from a friend," Hermione admitted softly. 

"Ah. Would that be the same friend who found us in Australia and returned our memories?" Hermione looked surprised and her mother chuckled. "Hermione, anyone who does something like that truly cares for you. Did we tell you that she made sure we were ok, after it happened? Before she went back to you."

"No, you didn't mention that," she replied, in what was almost a whisper. 

"What are we talking about?" Her father asked and both Granger women laughed. 

"Honestly, dear," Hermione's mother laughed. "You can be so obtuse sometimes."

***

"All set?" Hermione's mum poked her head through the gap in the door. "Oh... Hermione, you look beautiful."

Hermione smiled at her mum as she fastened the chain of her long, delicate necklace around her neck. 

"Thanks mum."

"Well, stand up. Give me a twirl."

Hermione stood, catching sight of herself in the mirror before she span. The white jumpsuit fitted her perfectly, like a tailored suit. A backless, halter-neck; it came to a point below her breasts and above her waist where it was tailored in, before falling in to wide legged trousers that swished around her legs. She had pinned her hair in to a soft updo, with fly-aways escaping around her face and her lips were a deep, romantic red. 

"What do you think?"

"I think she's a lucky woman." Hermione's cheeks blushed immediately and she shook her head. "What part of that statement was wrong?"

"She has so many reasons to not want me, mum."

"But I doubt they're as strong as the reason she should be." Her mum said, pressing a hand gently to Hermione's cheek. "I can't say I'm a little taken aback, darling."

"Because she's a woman?"

"No. Because she's a lot older. But then again, you always have been mature for your age."

Hermione blinked; she could feel tears threatening. 

"So you're fine with it?"

"She makes you happy?"

"Yes." _When she's not torturing me._

"Then why wouldn't I be fine with it?"

Hermione gave her mum a hug and held her tightly. 

"Thanks mum. I'm so glad you're back."

"Me too, darling, me too."

***

Hermione apparated right outside the Malfoy's gates. She knew that she was a little late, but a tearful goodbye to both her parents had meant that she had to redo her makeup and she had felt the nerves building in her stomach, threatening her resolve to go. But here she was. 

The Mansion was lit up brightly and she stepped carefully across the path towards the main door. She could hear music from inside, alongside occasional bursts of laughter and conversation. The door was opened by a man in a suit who she assumed had been hired for the evening and he graciously took her jacket, before motioning for another man in a suit to offer her a flute of champagne. She felt a little overwhelmed and didn't hesitate in taking a sip. There were people milling around in the hallway but she could hear that the bulk of people were in the ballroom to the left. 

People were staring at her as she entered. She supposed that they hadn't expected her to show; Harry and Ron must already be there and her lack of R.S.V.P had probably been noted. Since this was an attempt to restore some standing to the Malfoy name, everyone in attendance would no doubt have been waiting to see if they had the support of 'The Golden Trio'. Hermione resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the thought. Or perhaps they were all pure bloods, surprised that Narcissa Malfoy had allowed a 'mudblood' in to her house. She hoped that wasn't the case; fighting was not on her agenda for the evening. Luckily, the first person to approach her was Harry. 

"Hermione, you came!" He grinned, pulling her in to a hug. "Jesus, you look amazing."

Ginny was next, practically pouncing on her before she could respond to Harry. 

"Oh my god, you utter nymph. Where have you been hiding that outfit? Harry, I'm sorry, it's over. I've turned." She chuckled, much to Hermione's amused embarrassment. Harry coughed a little but laughed along with them. 

"Hi," Hermione grinned at them both. "You both look amazing."

Ginny was wearing the dress from the Winter Ball and Harry a set of smart dress robes. They looked like the perfect couple and Ginny slipped her arm around Harry's waist, resting her head on his shoulder momentarily. 

"Thanks, 'Mione. I'm so glad you decided to come."

Hermione fidgeted with her clutch nervously. 

"So, where is everyone?"

"The family is over by the food, obviously," Ginny winked. "Although Bill and Fleur are on the dance floor. Ted didn't come because he's looking after Teddy and Andy..."

"Andy, Black and our host disappeared in off after Narcissa had greeted everyone and no one has seen or heard from them since. I suppose that's a good sign; if we heard duelling we'd have to be concerned." Harry added, then looked around. "Draco was actually just with us..."

"Granger..." Draco's voice came from behind her and she turned. He was in a black suit and shirt and looked more grown up than the last time she had seen him. "You look incredible."

"Thank you, Draco. And... thank you for the invite." She held out her hand, a sign of good faith, and he took it gratefully. 

"My pleasure. I get the chance to speak to Harry at work but I wanted to speak to you. Preferably with witnesses because we both know you could beat me in a duel."

He laughed nervously and Hermione felt herself relax a little, smiling at him. 

"Glad you can admit that," she replied, releasing his hand. 

"I did a lot of thinking," he admitted. "A lot of talking with my mother and... McGonagall actually."

Hermione blinked, surprised.

"McGonagall?"

"Yes, I know. But I always respected her, you know. Especially for what she did when the Carrow's took over the school. She protected us all, no matter what house, although us Slytherins were rarely in trouble, obviously." His face was filled with regret. "I apologise for everything, Granger. I know that I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I want you to know that I'm trying."

Hermione studied him. This was a man asking for forgiveness, no longer the boy who had yelled 'my father will hear about this' at several points during their time at school. He had seen the war, just like them. He knew the weight behind his words. He knew. 

She put her hand on his arm gently, squeezing it once. 

"That's all we can ask of anyone. To try. To do their best. Thank you for telling me, Draco."

"Anything I can do... let me know," he said gratefully, seeing the understanding in her eyes. 

"How about we start with you calling me Hermione, instead of Granger?" She replied, smiling gently. 

She half expected him to cry, seeing his eyes become watery, but he pulled himself together with a sniff and nodded. 

"I can do that, Hermione. Thank you."

He looked behind her and nodded with a small grin. 

"Harry. Ginny."

"Draco," Harry reached his arm past Hermione and they shook hands. "Again, thank you for the invitation."

"Thank you for accepting. All of you. I believe it means just as much to my mother as it does to me."

"Where is your mother?" Ginny asked, shooting a coy look at Hermione. "Still with her sisters?"

"Yes. She promised that they wouldn't take too long, but I don't think they wanted to have their conversation in front of everyone."

"Understandable," Harry replied. "Well, I'm going to take Hermione to see the others. See you on the next room rotation?" 

Draco chuckled along with Harry. 

"Sure, Potter. See you then."

Draco went off and Ginny and Hermione looked at Harry. 

"What?"

"Ok, I'm definitely missing a joke about the room rotation."

"He was just telling me the other day that he was going to have to play the good host and do so many room rotations that he'd be walking in circles for weeks afterwards," Harry shrugged. "It's not that funny."

"I sense a bromance," Ginny muttered to Hermione as they headed over to the food table. 

Ron, thankfully, was nowhere to be seen. Mrs Weasley gave her a large hug and complimented her and George pretend to be having a minor heart attack, very dramatically, upon seeing her outfit. 

"Merlin, Hermione, haven't I been through enough without you trying to kill me off like that?"

"Sorry, George," she laughed, giving him a hug. He pulled aside a little while the others started talking amongst themselves. 

"Just thought you'd like to know that my dolt of a brother is around here somewhere and he only agreed to come here when we thought you weren't going to be here. So... just watch out, okay?"

Hermione smiled and put a reassuring hand on his upper arm. 

"It's okay, George. I doubt he'll try anything here. He'd be stupid to try anything _again_ , to be honest."

"That's my brother; he can be as thick as a turnip sometimes."

Hermione smiled at him and squeezed his arm before letting go. 

"Well, I suppose I ought to try some of this food," she said, turning to look at the table. 

"Just watch that outfit," George joked. 

They hadn't been by the table long before Hermione felt a hand on her arm.

"Hermione!" Andy embraced her tightly and Hermione was glad that she was no longer holding anything. "You came."

"I did."

"What made you change your mind? Bella is going to... oh, Bella might be a little... well..."

"Spit it out, Andy," Hermione said, worried. 

"She's been a little moody all day, that's all. Well... since you left," Andy spoke quietly so only Hermione could hear. "Although particularly today."

Hermione knew that it probably had something to do with her lack of response to Bellatrix's note from this morning, which was now safely in her clutch; a little reminder of why she was here. 

"Is she here? In the room I mean?"

"We just got back. I said I was going to check on the Weasley family and she elected to stay with Narcissa." Andy looked over towards the staircase and steered Hermione a couple of steps. "There, see?"

She could see Bellatrix's signature hair; wild curls standing out in a room filled with people who seemed to have been styled within an inch of their lives. 

"I should..." She broke off, not sure if she was really ready to head over to her. 

"You should," Andy replied firmly. "Go."

Hermione kissed Andy on the cheek and began to head over to the stairs. She was circling the dance floor, half way to the staircase, when Narcissa Malfoy appeared out of nowhere in front of her. 

"Miss Granger, I did not receive your R.S.V.P."

The youngest Black sister was dressed in a moss-green dress, with silver jewellery adorning her neck and ears. She studied Hermione with a less-than-warm gaze, but it was not the disdain she had seen before in those same eyes. 

"I apologise, Madam Malfoy. I did not know until late that I would be able to make it."

Narcissa studied her for another moment or so and then her gaze softened slightly. 

"I am very glad that you have been able to find the time, Miss Granger. And grateful." 

It looked as though it hurt Narcissa slightly to admit that Hermione's appearance would do them some good, but Hermione appreciated that she had at least made the effort. She looked at the woman and found that, like with Draco, she had no energy to hate the woman. 

"It's my pleasure."

Narcissa inclined her head. 

"Draco was quite insistent that he wanted to see you; I don't suppose you've seen him?"

"I have. We talked." Hermione replied, glancing towards the stairs. She could no longer see Bellatrix's hair and she cursed inwardly. "It was pleasant."

"Well, as long as it was pleasant," the woman replied and Hermione suddenly realised that this woman unnerved her more than her sisters ever had. While Bellatrix calculated strategy for battle and espionage and Andy seemed to be more successful as an emotional strategist, it was clear that Narcissa was a political strategist through and through. "Were you looking for someone?"

"Um... yes but it's okay. I've lost them."

"Perhaps I can help you find them?"

Hermione turned, finding Bellatrix standing behind her. The younger woman scanned the older quickly and then, like a double take, her eyes trailed over her again. Bellatrix was in a dress that exceeded any dream that Hermione might have had. The top was a black velvet corset that reminded her of something Shakespearean; a low, square neckline with slight v in the centre where the two sides were tied together over her breasts. The sleeves were full around the lower arm to the wrist but split in to sections at the upper arm, revealing slips of creamy skin before the strap. Then the skirt, beginning at her hips, was made of layers of black tulle and it seemed to float around her; all together the dress would not be out of place on a member of royalty. 

When Hermione eventually managed to pull her eyes back to Bellatrix's face, she noticed the smirk that the woman was giving her and immediately felt her own lips lift in to a sly grin. She had no doubt that seconds before she had looked up, Bellatrix's eyes had been exploring her own outfit. In fact, as she tried to remember whether she was supposed to speak, she watched the woman's eyes slip down the V of her neckline again. 

"Well I will leave you in my sister's capable hands, Miss Granger." Narcissa appeared at her side again; or maybe she had been there the whole time and Hermione had been too distracted to notice. "Andy appears to be summoning me. Behave, Bella."

"I always do, Cissy." Bellatrix replied, barely taking her eyes from Hermione. 

"What a gross overstatement," Narcissa replied as she walked away, in a tone filled with wry amusement. 

There were a few moments of silence between the pair; the noise around them seeming not to penetrate their bubble.

"You came," Bellatrix said eventually. 

"I did."

"I wasn't sure you would."

"I wasn't planning to." Hermione wished she had a drink in her free hand; she could use something to stop her from feeling so nervous. She fought the urge, instead tightening her fingers around her clutch, knowing that the note was inside. Not wanting to dive straight in to the conversation, surrounded by strangers, she decided to settle on a different topic. "How was the reunion with your sisters?"

Bellatrix's eyes, somehow more powerful and darker when they were lined with eyeliner, traced hot lines over her face. 

"Well there were two options. Get along, or destroy the house and party in a duel. I assume you can see which option we took."

"Well that's fortunate. I would have hated to have gone to all this effort to find the house in ruins on my arrival."

Bellatrix's lips twitched in a smile. 

"That would have been very unfortunate."

Hermione opened her mouth to reply but she was interrupted. 

"Excuse me," came the confident voice of a man at her left shoulder. "Would you like to dance?"

She turned and came face to face with Blaise Zabini, who seemed just as surprised that he had just asked her to dance as she was. 

"Blaise," she greeted him. 

"Granger? I didn't recognise you."

"Obviously," she replied, remembering his distaste for muggle-borns and 'blood traitors' in school.

"Well, never mind," he sneered and turned to leave. 

"Not good enough for you, Zabini?" Bellatrix asked sharply. "Even after everything she's done and proved?"

"Please, Black. Not many people are good enough for me," Blaise shot back, smirking at her. "It should be the same for you, coming from the line that you do. But no, you, like your sisters, seem intent on sullying your good name."

Hermione felt Bellatrix pulling out her wand behind her, without even seeing it. It was as though she were in tune with her and she stepped between them sharply. 

"He's not worth it. Don't ruin this night for your sister."

"That was ruined the moment she invited you and those blood traitor Weas-" The spell rounded Hermione and hit him square in the chest, sending him down to the floor in a body bind curse. Bellatrix slipped her wand back up her sleeve and shrugged at Hermione, who had turned back to her incredulously. 

"It was the nicer of the options that I could have used."

Hermione couldn't argue; she knew what Bellatrix was capable of. Around them, everyone was looking and a few people had begun to gather around Blaise. The conversations became louder and Hermione could see Narcissa heading in their direction. 

"Your sister is coming."

"Mmm." Bellatrix grasped Hermione's wrist and pulled her away and on to the dance floor. "I take it you know how to dance?"

"What?" Hermione hissed, looking around them, embarrassed. "Bella, I-"

Bellatrix bit her lip and looked around. Hermione was momentarily distracted; those white teeth biting in to plump red lips... 

"Very well, perhaps not the best idea." 

Bellatrix, for once, seemed unsure of how to proceed. Hermione felt the weight of the clutch in her had and it reminded her, once again, of the note.

"Is there somewhere that we can talk?"

Bellatrix's eyes darkened, just a slight shade, but Hermione noticed. She noticed everything about Bellatrix now.

"I'm sure we could find somewhere."

Hermione followed Bellatrix, through the throngs of people and out of the ballroom through a small side door. It led to a small corridor and Bellatrix took the first door to the right. It was pleasant room, with a crackling fire, bookshelves and a few soft, green chairs. Hermione got the impression that this room was very much Narcissa's; her style calling out from every inch of it. 

"This is where we were talking; Andy, Narcissa and I," Bellatrix explained, shutting the door. Hermione traced her finger over book-spines on the shelves before turning to face the other woman. Bellatrix was watching her carefully, one hand resting on the shelf next to her. 

"It's nice. Narcissa's room?"

"Her favourite."

"It seems like her," Hermione mused before looking between the chairs and Bellatrix's large-skirted dress. "I imagine you've not been sitting much."

"No," Bellatrix gave her a wry smile, stepping closer. "Not particularly."

Hermione gripped her clutch tighter. 

"You sent me a note."

"I did," Bellatrix replied, lowering her hand from the shelf as she stepped closer. "Is that why you came?"

She thought about denying it, but saw no point. 

"Yes." Bellatrix's eyes darkened even more and Hermione took a step forward. "Why did you send it?"

"I thought that was pretty clear."

Hermione opened her clutch and pulled out the piece of parchment, seeing Bellatrix's eyes flit to it in surprise. 

"Her coming was my hope each day, her parting was my pain," she read and then stopped. "If you feel this way then why are you fighting so hard?"

Bellatrix sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, they were mournful. 

"Hermione, you have no idea what I have been through. You have no idea how damaged I am." Hermione went to interrupt but Bellatrix held up a hand, stopping her in her tracks. "I cannot promise you what so many others can. Beyond that, the most obvious reason is that I am still your teacher. Even if we..."

She trailed off and Hermione watched as her eyes darkened again and she stepped closer. They were inches from each other, almost as close as when they had been in the alcove but not quite and Hermione longed to take a step forward to bring herself against Bellatrix. She restrained herself; she should listen to the other woman and be respectful of what she said. They'd done this dance too many times. She refused to put herself out there again to be trampled. 

"Even if we what?" She said instead, firmly. 

"Even if we both want this. And I do. I want this so much that it _hurts me_ , Hermione. Do you understand? Do you feel it?" She said, desperately, releasing it as though she were a dam, breaking. "Do you understand how hard it is for me to resist you?"

Hermione inhaled raggedly. She couldn't quite believe it. After all these months, Bellatrix admitting that she felt the same, that Hermione was not alone, that she wasn't insane for feeling this way... it was overwhelming. Her blood seemed to be rushing through her; her heart pumping so fast she could barely catch her breath. She knew Bellatrix wasn't finished but she could barely contain herself, gripping the shelf beside her to steady herself. 

"Yes..." She murmured. "I know how you feel."

"I thought that I could say nothing and that it would go away. I was convinced that you had a silly crush and that I had finally gone insane. Then I realised that I was fighting a losing battle, that I would end up losing control and it just made me fight harder," Bellatrix said, the words spilling out of her. "You said you were done playing games and I knew that without those games I would be laid bare to you and I couldn't... but then you left and I knew that if I had you might have stayed. I found your book and..." she broke off, sucking in air and running her hand through her chaotic curls. "There are very few people that I care for in this world, Hermione. How you made your way on to that list, I don't know. I thought I had protected myself. But when I am around you, I can't seem to help but let you in."

She wrapped her arms around her waist, as if to protect herself and Hermione felt her heart ache to comfort her; to hold her. 

"I feel the same way. I thought you were a distraction; someone I was just attracted to. But the more time we've spent together, the more I've felt... the more I know that this is something more. I feel it even stronger when we're not together."

Bellatrix's eyes actually welled up and Hermione's mouth opened in a silent 'o' as she moved forward, pulling the woman in to a hug. They held each other tight, Hermione feeling the ragged breathing of the woman in her arms. Bellatrix's hands were splayed over Hermione's back; one on the fabric at her waist and the other across her bare back. She felt Bellatrix's fingers slide gently over her bare skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake, as she backed away from the embrace. 

"I decided, when I sent that note, that I would tell you," Bellatrix said, her hands slipping from Hermione's waist as she took a step back. "That I would tell you how I felt if you turned up. If you didn't, I would know that I had ended any chance we had. But I also have to tell you something else..."

She stepped back a little, letting the air come between them. Hermione felt cold all of a sudden, although the fire was still roaring and the room had been warm only moments before. She shivered and wrapped her arms around her own waist, feeling a sudden jolt of dread. 

"Hermione, you are my student. We can't do this... at least not while you are in school. When you finish, if you have forgotten your feelings, I won't hold it against you. I will let you go. If you still feel the same we can revisit this. But I cannot do this, now. Do you understand?"

Hermione felt sadness and anger overwhelm her momentarily and she opened her mouth; to tell Bellatrix to go to hell, to stop playing with her like a cat with a mouse... but she hesitated. Leaning back against the shelf, she exhaled. 

"I understand. Six months... I can manage that." She didn't really think she could, but now she knew that Bellatrix felt the same it should be easier. _Right?_ Bellatrix seemed to sag with relief, before her usual confidence seemed to creep back and she smiled. "You're not going to avoid me the entire time, are you?"

"No," Bellatrix smirked. "Although, I may have to if you wear anything like that again."

Her eyes trailed down Hermione's body again and the heat Hermione had felt before was nothing compared to what she felt now. She almost gasped at the strength of it. 

"And we do nothing before school ends?"

"Nothing," Bellatrix replied firmly, but her voice had lowered and her eyes were hungry. "We act as we have been."

"I mean that was hardly safe," Hermione chuckled, dryly. 

"Nothing about you is safe, Hermione," Bellatrix murmured, her voice thick. "I'm in danger every time I'm alone with you."

Hermione inhaled shakily and shook her head. The room was too hot. She was too hot. 

"Then maybe I should go."

"Mmm." Bellatrix tightened her lips and stood back to allow Hermione room to leave. Hermione hesitated. 

"Thank you for telling me. Even if I have to wait six months, knowing that at the end of it I can..." she sucked in her breath, shaking her head. "Yep, no, leaving. Behaving." 

She slipped the note back inside her clutch and shot Bellatrix a wry smile before heading to the door. 

She heard the murmured 'fuck it' and felt the hand on her arm spin her around but she had no chance to react before Bellatrix's lips were against hers. One hand on Hermione's face with her fingers in her hair, the other on her waist, pushing her against the door as she kissed her, softly at first but then with an intensity that left Hermione breathless. It took her a moment to regain her senses but then her hands were mirroring Bella's; her fingers deeper in to the wild curls and clutching at her hip through layers of tulle. Somewhere in the distance, the countdown to midnight reached one and fireworks exploded above Malfoy Manor, but neither woman heard or cared. One of them moaned, or it could have been both, but it was enough to make them break apart, breathing heavily; Hermione pressed against the door and Bellatrix pressed against her. 

"I thought-" Hermione began. 

"I couldn't help it." Bellatrix smirked, placing both her hands gently on either side of Hermione's face and kissing her lips once more, chastely. "I had to know, just once, what you felt like. What you taste like..."

Hermione's heart might have stopped beating for a moment, or it might have been going so fast that she stopped hearing it pounding through every inch of her body, but the words enveloped her. She rested her forehead against Bellatrix's for a moment, closing her eyes, knowing that the moment was only brief. When Bellatrix released her, she unwillingly did the same. 

They straightened their clothing and hair; Hermione fixing her lipstick so no one would be able to tell what had just happened. 

"You should go first," Bellatrix murmured, her fingers tucking one escaped curl of Hermione's behind her ear. Hermione shuddered. 

"You can't do that, or else it won't just be the once," she reprimanded her softly, with no weight behind it. Bellatrix grinned, but stepped back, leaving some space between them. "See you out there."

"Yes," Bellatrix replied, the impassive mask that she general wore slipping across her face. Hermione opened the door and slipped out, pausing in the corridor and looking back with a smirk. 

"What did I taste like, by the way?"

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. 

"I'll tell you in six months or so."

Hermione chuckled. 

"You tasted amazing, just so you know," she winked and then headed down the corridor, thankful that it was cooler than the room. She hoped it would take away the blush in her cheeks. 

_You'll be the death of me, Granger._

Hermione ducked her head and smiled as she reached the end of the corridor, looking back to see Bellatrix watching her. 

_Not if you're the death of me first, Black._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know...  
> In case you're interested:  
> Hermione's outfit: https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/emma-watson-jumpsuit_n_6254072?ri18n=true  
> Hermione's hair: http://www.mtv.com/news/2426593/emma-watson-harry-potter-hair/
> 
> Top of Bellatrix's dress: https://www.livingly.com/Oscar+Gowns+2011/articles/24wBKJSku8m/Helena+Bonham+Carter+Oscar+Dress+Colleen+Atwood  
> Bottom of Bellatrix's dress: https://www.popshopamerica.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/bellatrix-lastrange-evil-witch-costume-pop-shop-america.jpg


	21. Happy New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the party, where Ron makes enemies and Hermione makes... friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's taken longer than usual to update! I can't believe I've kept you waiting after the kiss! But I guess that's why I felt like you wouldn't be upset; because there had finally been a kiss. So, here's another chapter, filled with Black sisters and drama with Ron and all sorts... Enjoy and I hope you're all staying safe.

Hermione had thought it might be a good idea to try to contain her smirk when she re-entered the ballroom, but it still played around her lips with a tingling sensation that she could feel reflected across her body. She closed her eyes momentarily, bit her lip and then took a calming breath before looking around to try and find Ginny, Harry or Andy. 

"Where have you been?"

Hermione gritted her teeth; she had hoped against hope that she could avoid this moment all night. 

"Hi Ron, happy new year," she said, turning to face him. 

"Yeah, whatever." His eyes were unfocused and he held the drink in his hand a little too tightly as he stepped in to her personal space. "So, what's it like?"

"What's what like?" She could smell the overwhelming scent of alcohol on him; it oozed from every pore. 

"Being fucked by Voldermort's whore."

"Excuse me?" Hermione replied, stepping back, outraged. The people nearby looked over curiously and she lowered her voice. "What the hell did you just say to me?"

"Oh please; I'm not blind. You used to look at me like that."

"Oh I have _never_ looked at you like that." Hermione couldn't help herself and the sudden purpling of Ron's already red face was almost satisfying. "You are so self-centred. What happened to the Ron I _did_ care about? My friend?"

"What happened to the Hermione I loved?" He yelled back. Now everyone was watching them and Hermione became very aware of how dangerous this conversation could be. Rumours spread fast, particularly in circles such as these and that could be dangerous. "What happened? What did that bitch do to you?"

"Ron, what the hell are you doing?" Harry had appeared, grabbing his friends arm. 

"What, I'm not allowed to ask why my- why she would rather spend another year with that bitch instead of with me?"

His wand was out one second and flying through the air the next. Hermione watched it land in Narcissa's outstretched hand. 

"I will not have wands drawn like that in my house, Weasley," she said, her cold glare sending a chill through the air. The music had stopped; they were the centre of attention. 

"How dare you! I am an Auror and I-"

"-Will be leaving immediately, yes." Narcissa finished. Andy had appeared at her side, sending a look at Hermione to check she was alright. "Unless you want me to remove you?"

Harry pulled at Ron's arm, trying to get his friend to back down. Hermione hesitated, wondering if she could help, but instead she was the first person who noticed as Bellatrix arrived in the crowd. Unfortunately, Ron was the second. 

"What about her? I get kicked out but that bitch-" He didn't finish the rest of the sentence; Andy's spell sent him sprawling backwards. 

"Say something about my sister again, I dare you," she snarled. Narcissa placed a hand on her arm and tossed Ron's wand back to him when he scrambled to his feet. 

"Out, now Weasley. That is enough of your behaviour."

"I quite agree," Bellatrix added, joining her sisters. 

"Oh fuck you," he spat in response. "I haven't got anything against you Andy but the wife of a death eater and Voldermort's whor-" He made the mistake of using his wand to gesture and the minute that he pointed at Bellatrix, Hermione's wand was out of her pocket and pointed at him. But Bellatrix had beaten her to it and Ron was frozen rigid; her silent _Petrificus Totalus_ sending him crashing to the floor. 

Harry looked between Ron and the Black sisters for a moment and everybody seemed to hold their breath. Attacking an Auror, even provoked, in front of another Auror would usually end in retribution. At least it had only been a defensive spell, but she had still used it first. Hermione found herself stepping between the sisters and Harry further, as if protecting Bellatrix. 

"Let's get him outside before we release him," Harry said. Nodding, Hermione flicked her wand and Ron rose above the heads of the crowd and began to float towards the door. They followed and Hermione glanced back to see the three sisters following. By the time they'd made their way through the crowd, the music had resumed and the crowd was buzzing with conversation. 

It seemed that the whole Weasley family had managed to fight their way through the crowd as well; they joined them in the hallway and Hermione could see the look of fury on Molly's face. She wasn't sure whether the entirety of her anger was going to be directed at Ron or not. 

"Put him down here," Harry said, gesturing to the grass next to the drive. Hermione followed instructions and glanced at Bellatrix, who had come to a stop right next to her, as the Weasley's gathered around Ron. Bellatrix's eyes, so firmly fixed on Ron with a glare that could have melted him on the spot, softened when she caught Hermione's eyes. Hermione opened her mouth to apologise, but Harry lifted the spell on Ron and the sound distracted them both. 

"-e I can't... what the fuck?" He scrambled up, glaring around at everyone, spotting Hermione and the Black sisters standing a little further away, behind his family. "You fucking bitch you-"

"Ronald!" Molly Weasley stepped in front of him, halting him in his tracks. "Your behaviour is unacceptable..." She continued to yell at Ron, who looked angry but was not responding. Hermione chewed her lip, wishing that this hadn't escalated so far. She shivered; the night was cold and she could see the frost settling in. 

A hand grazed her back gently, thumb rubbing against her skin comfortingly for a moment. Her eyelids fluttered closed and then she looked to her left where Bellatrix stood as her hand lifted and the contact was gone. 

"You should go inside," Bellatrix murmured. "It's cold."

"This is partially my fault; I can't-"

"Hermione," she interrupted, firmly. "Go inside. I can _see_ that you're cold."

She might be cold but the heat that filled her when she saw Bellatrix's eyes slip down momentarily was like a fire; burning through her body.

"Oh," was all she could say, frozen to the spot.

"Yes," Bellatrix responded, her lips twitching in to a smirk. 

"Are you coming inside as well?" Hermione murmured. 

Bellatrix's jaw tightened and her lips twitched again. 

"Did we not just have the discussion about the dangers of being alone together?" Her voice was lowered, so only Hermione could hear, and a haze fell over their surroundings as she focused on Bellatrix. Feeling the kiss all over again. 

"Yes..." Hermione's eyes fluttered and she couldn't help but be drawn to Bellatrix, feeling the pull between them. She did not turn to face her; their sideways position was the only thing stopping her from grabbing her hand and pulling her inside to find another room. Bellatrix's thumb appeared on her back again, skimming over it and Hermione shivered. 

"Are we done?" Andy's voice cut through the haze and Bellatrix's hand was snatched away from Hermione's back as if it had been scalded. "I know I am. I'm not watching this for another second."

Relief flooded Hermione when she realised that Andy hadn't caught them flirting. 

"Yes, we should return to the party and let the family deal with him," Narcissa replied, turning to face them. "I imagine it will have a more comfortable ending for him than if he had to deal with us."

"I don't know; I wouldn't want to cross Molly in a bad mood," Andy mused. Bellatrix shot Hermione a secret smile and turned to face the hall with her sisters, gesturing for Hermione to go first. 

"No, I remember she was quite the witch in school."

"She still is," Hermione added. 

"Quite," Narcissa responded, studying Hermione as they stepped in to the hall. They could hear the party in full swing to their left, drowning out the yelling from outside. "Miss Granger, a word?" 

Narcissa gestured to a door to their right. Hermione saw Bellatrix still and open her mouth. She spoke before Bellatrix could. 

"What about, Madam Malfoy?"

"I believe you are entirely aware. Bellatrix, you too."

"Cissy-"

"- Inside the room please, Bella."

She led the way, her gown sweeping around her feet and they were left with no choice but to follow. Andy joined them, shooting Hermione a smile to relax her. When the door closed behind them, Hermione's eyes flitted around the room quickly but were drawn back to Narcissa who had turned to face them in front of the lit fire. 

"Miss Granger, would you kindly explain to me why your ex-lover was causing a scene in the middle of my party?"

"It's hardly the middle, Cissy; midnight has come and gone," Bellatrix huffed. 

"And ex-lover is a bit... we never..." Hermione sighed and shook her head. "It doesn't matter. He hasn't been able to get over our breakup and he reminds me that I am meant to have stuck with him every time he sees me. I apologise for his behaviour."

"And the reason that my sister was a part of his diatribe?" Narcissa's eyebrow rose and Hermione felt the shudder that flooded her when Bellatrix did that make an appearance. 

"Enough, Cissy. The Weasley boy is a drunk, bitter cretin who cannot handle rejection. End of story," Bellatrix cut in firmly. 

"He seems to think that the both of you are... involved," Narcissa replied, her eyes trailing over the both of them. Andy's lips twitched. "I am inclined to believe that he's exaggerating."

"Exaggerating?" Bellatrix's eyes narrowed and Hermione shifted uncomfortably. 

"Well, there is some truth to it, is there not?" Narcissa replied, gesturing between them. "I saw the way you looked at her when you first saw her tonight. Both of you. If you're going to have an illicit affair you might want to be more discreet."

"There is no affair," Hermione replied. 

"Nor will there be," Bellatrix added through gritted teeth before glancing at Hermione and softening. "Not in the current circumstances anyway."

"Oh, so you finally told her then?" Andy said, smirking. 

"Fuck off Andy," Bellatrix snorted, rolling her eyes but trying to hide a smile. 

"Told. Her. What?" Narcissa said. "You are aware that our family name is conflicted, Bella? A scandal could mean-"

"-a scandal, really, Cissy?" Andy said, exasperated. "They are both adults. They can-"

"-She is in school! She is Bella's student. _She's the same age as Draco_."

"She's standing right here and can hear you," Hermione threw in, before the others could reply. "And she can speak for herself. Whatever Bellatrix and I agree, we can handle. I don't intend to risk her career or reputation. I don't intend to cause trouble."

"Please, trouble follows you and those two 'golden boys' around like a cloak," Narcissa said, pursing her lips. Hermione admired her; she was protective of her family to a fault. "Someone will catch you in that school. I remember it; gossip spreads like-"

"-Cissy, enough!" Bellatrix barked. "I will not so much as touch her while she is in school. You should know me better than that."

Andy glanced between them and chuckled. 

"Oh good, it's like old times. What a relief; for a moment I thought we'd make it through an evening without some drama."

Hermione snorted and Bellatrix relaxed a little, allowing a smile. Narcissa seemed a little put out, but she rolled her eyes. 

"I am merely trying to impress upon our sister the importance of a little... discretion."

"I think if the war taught us anything it's that I can handle some discretion, Cissy," Bellatrix bit back. Hermione's hand flew to her arm, instinctively, and Bellatrix caught her eye softening after a moment. 

"Well... that is true. I can't argue." Narcissa's body relaxed a little and she looked at Bellatrix tenderly for a split second. "I don't want you hurt Bella... I have seen you at the edge of sanity and I can't bare to lose you to that place again."

Bellatrix slumped a little and Hermione wished that she could hold her. Instead she turned to look Narcissa dead in the eye. 

"I won't let that happen, Madam Malfoy. If I ever think that I am going to be the cause of pain in her life, I will remove myself. I promise." Bellatrix's eyes were fixed on Hermione so hard that she could feel the gaze in her bones. "But as we've said, we are not doing anything while I am at school. Bellatrix has made that clear."

"Well then. I suppose I had better get back to my guests." Narcissa said after a few moments in which she appraised Hermione and the focus that Bellatrix had on the younger woman. "Andy, join me? I believe these two have something to discuss."

Andy snorted again. 

"No kidding."

As they left the room, Hermione distinctly heard Narcissa murmur 'I like her' to Andy and her sister's howl of laughter in response. 

Bellatrix's hand came up and she gently grasped Hermione's chin, bring her eyes up to meet hers again. 

"You are a fascinating creature, Hermione Granger."

"I'm not the only one," Hermione found herself half-whispering back, thrown off by Bellatrix's gentle approach. 

"You just stood in front of my sister and told her that you would rather lose me than cause me pain." Bellatrix stroked Hermione's jaw with her fingers gently and Hermione's eyes fluttered. "After so much loss, that is quite a statement."

"I..." Hermione found her hands lifting to rest on Bellatrix's waist and suddenly they seemed so much closer. Her eyelids felt heavy and her lashes fluttered. "I thought we weren't going to..."

"You're right," Bellatrix said, her breath brushing against Hermione's face. "We did."

"But maybe one more won't change anything..."

"Maybe..."

A particularly loud cheer from the other room made them chuckle, breaking from the haze that had settled over them again. Hermione's forehead rested against Bellatrix's as light, breathy chuckles were shared between them. 

"I wish we could have danced," Hermione murmured. "I wish that was on the cards."

"It will be. One day. If you still..."

"Six months is not going to change this, Bella."

"No... I don't believe it will." The older woman smiled at her, stroking a stray curl away from her face. 

"I should go home."

Bellatrix smirked. 

"Want me to walk you out past the argument? Really make him furious?"

Hermione pushed her gently and chuckled. 

"Don't be an ass. I don't want to see him. Can I floo from here? Apparate from wherever I go? We don't have a fire place."

"Of course. Be careful though... I would hate for that outfit to be ruined."

Hermione blushed and glanced down.

"Oh really?"

"Really," Bellatrix's voice husked. "Come on, let's get you home before I lose my sense of restraint."

***

When Hermione apparated in to her room with a 'pop' she held her breath and listened for signs that her parents were awake. Silence filled the house. Still, she tip-toed to her parent's room to check on them. They were fast asleep. 

She breathed a sigh of relief. They were still there. In the morning, they would have breakfast and she knew they'd ask about her night. Her heart filled and she bit her lip, her grin so large she felt like it might almost wake them with the force. 

When she had changed and slipped in to bed, she left her fingers play over her jaw and lips, tracing the tingling that remained from Bellatrix's touches. 

She could wait six months. Knowing what lay at the end; she could wait. 

She was sure...

...

...

Maybe. 


	22. Return to Hogwarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Students are back at Hogwarts but someone is missing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I apologise, writers block is killing me at the moment. But if it helps, I've also been writing future chapters in this time, so I'm still working on it, despite these ones taking longer. I've been busy too but hopefully it's worth the wait. Thank you all for being patient and for loving this story.

Hermione could see her breath in the cool night air. The lights of Hogwarts glowed in the distance and as she helped the last of the students in the carriages, Hermione felt the anticipation make her heart beat faster. 

She had not seen or talked to Bellatrix since the night at Malfoy Manor and although she had wished that she could, the memory of Bella's lips on hers had made her smile every time it crossed her mind. 

"Hermione, are you coming?" Ginny asked, peering out of the carriage. 

Hermione waved to Hagrid and climbed in, settling herself against the seat and smiling at her friends. Ginny, Luna and Neville had all waited and helped so that they could ride together. 

"Always feels good to come back, don't you think?" Neville said, smiling. "Not matter what, Hogwarts always seems to survive."

"it doesn't feel like it used to," Ginny said quietly and Hermione took her hand comfortingly. Neville's face fell. 

"I'm sorry, Ginny."

"It's ok," she shook her head, squeezing Hermione's hand. "Really."

Since the war, there were a few extra ghosts hanging around the castle. While most people found them to be a bittersweet memory of friends lost... Ginny had spent weeks searching the castle, talking to all the ghosts, hoping that her brother might be among them. Eventually, it had taken Hermione, Professor McGonagall and, to everyone's surprise, Helena Ravenclaw to convince Ginny that Fred was better off not being permanently stuck.   
  


_"It is not a life that anyone as free as he was should choose," Helena said. "He would not have been happy with anything less than being fully who he was."_

_"Hermione had never seen the ghost so invested in someone living before and it took her by surprise._

_Ginny wiped her eyes, agreeing with a raw sob._

_Minerva McGonagall handed Ginny a biscuit from the tartan tin she kept on her desk._

_"Think of it this way, Miss Weasley. Fred knew that we already had our hands full with Peeves; do you think my heart could take the two of them creating chaos daily, for eternity?"_

Hermione's lips twitched at the memory and she held Ginny's hand tighter.

"I find the first night back to be very loud," Luna said in her signature, vacant voice. "But then everyone remembers that they have homework and it settles."

They chuckled as the carriage pulled up to the courtyard and stopped. Hermione hopped out, holding the door open as the others climbed out. 

Following all the other returning students, the group made their way inside the cstle. Hermione's heart picked up as they headed for the Great Hall and she took a deep, steadying breath at the door. 

When they entered her eyes flew to the top table and fixed on the chair to McGonagall's right. 

It was empty. 

Hermione's heart dropped. 

_Where is she?_

Sitting with her friends at the table, Hermione was deaf to McGonagall's short 'welcome back' speech. Her eyes were glued to the empty chair. When the food arrived, she picked at it, appetite lost. 

"Hermione, you're not eating," Ginny nudged her. 

"I'm not really that hungry, I guess," she replied, prodding her food around her plate. 

"Too much holiday food?" Neville asked. 

"Probably." She glanced back at the chair, still empty. 

Where was Bellatrix? 

The feast seemed to drag; Hermione's attention never straying far from the empty seat. When the time came to head to Gryffindor Tower, she cast one last longing look and then headed up with her friends. 

The common room was too busy; excited students returning and catching up with their friends. Hermione felt a dark mood settling over her; a headache descending as everyone talked. She knew it was because of Bellatrix's absence; she had built up and idea of that moment when they would see each other again and having that taken away was... well, she didn't really know what the strongest emotion was. Hurt? Disappointment? 

She suffered the noise for a further five minutes before giving in, telling her friends she was too tired and heading to bed. Ginny watched her go, concerned. 

***

Hermione sat at her window, staring out towards the dark shadow that was the forest. The Marauder's map lay on her lap; Bellatrix's footprints absent from its pages. She sighed, her breath fogging up the window momentarily. 

"Where are you?" She murmured, hoping that Bella wasn't in the woods, alone with whatever had hurt her before. The idea made her shiver and she wished she had pushed her for more information. She wished she knew what lay inside those thick, dark trees. 

It was late when she finally crawled in to bed; a last glance at the map confirming that Bellatrix hadn't returned. She hoped that she would see her in class the next day, or else she might be tempted to storm McGonagall's office and demand to know where she was. She almost laughed at the thought; maybe she had spent too much time around Harry... and Ron. No, if she wanted to know where Bellatrix was, McGonagall would most likely tell her, without any dramatics.

Sleep claimed her and of course her dreams were about Bellatrix. Now though, Hermione was searching for her and every time she spotted her, Bellatrix would turn in to a wolf and slip away in to the woods, out of reach. When she woke, she felt as though she'd not slept at all and the bad mood trailed after her as she made her way down to breakfast. 

No sign of Bellatrix, not that she ever appeared at breakfast. Hermione's last hope was that she would be in class. 

As much as she loved and respected the woman, seeing Professor McGonagall at the front of the class, ready to lead it in Bellatrix's stead, made Hermione's heart sink further. She couldn't work out what to do. On the one hand, to everyone else, she had no right to really ask questions. She had no one she could really open up to about how she felt because no one could know about the kiss, or their agreement. 

She planned to catch McGonagall and ask where Bellatrix was under the pretence of knowing how to answer if any students asked the Head Girl, but the next class were already piling in when they finished and she didn't want to hold them up. She resolved to catch McGonagall later. 

The next two days, she never had a chance. There was always something that got in the way of her speaking to the Headmistress and Bellatrix still hadn't made an appearance, either in person or on the map. Hermione kept switching from worried, wondering what could have happened, to angry that Bellatrix hadn't thought to reach out and tell her what had happened... it was not what she had expected from her return to school and it grated. It hurt. 

That was how she found herself, the next day, hurrying to catch McGonagall before class started. She knocked sharply on the door and strode in without waiting for a response. 

"Professor, I wanted to ask where-" she froze, hearing the door close behind her. 

"You know, people usually wait for a response to a knock before entering, Granger."

Bellatrix stood in front of her desk next to a frowning Professor McGonagall, both staring at Hermione. 

"Um... sorry. I thought..."

"Well, Miss Granger, you're already here. What did you come to ask?" The Headmistress looked like she already knew the answer. 

"I was just coming to ask when Professor Black would be back; a few people have asked where she was. But..." she trailed off, unable to tear her eyes from Bellatrix. She could see nothing visibly wrong with her and breathed a sigh of relief. It was quickly followed by irritation that she swallowed hastily. 

"Well, as you can see Ms. Black has returned to us. I was just handing over to her." Professor McGonagall studied both Hermione and Bellatrix and a small smile twitched at her lips. "Have a good lesson, Bellatrix. You'll join me for a drink after dinner tonight?"

"Of course, Minerva."

Neither Hermione or Bellatrix spoke until McGonagall had left the room, the door closing behind her. 

"Are you ok?" Hermione asked. 

"Yes. Are you?"

"No. You were gone and I had no right to ask anyone where, or even show that I was worried."

Bellatrix frowned, chewing her lip momentarily. 

"I..." A knock on the door interrupted them and they both suddenly became aware of the noise of students in the corridor. Bellatrix gritted her teeth. "Stay after class. I'll explain."

Hermione hesitated for a moment then nodded. She turned to go to her desk, but glanced back at Bellatrix, who was watching her carefully. 

"I missed you."

Bellatrix's face softened and a small smile darted briefly across her lips.

"I missed you too." By the time Hermione had sat down and Bellatrix had used magic to open the door, allowing other students access, she had her usual indifferent mask over her face. "Come on, no dawdling. You cannot have gotten this lazy after a few days without me." 

Bellatrix's voice made students dart to their desks, anxious not to get on her bad side. Hermione resisted a smirk and instead waited for Ginny to join her. 

"So she's back?" Ginny slid on to the stool next to Hermione, muttering to her as she eyed Bellatrix, who was glaring at stragglers. 

"Yes."

"Where was she?"

Hermione opened her mouth to respond, but Bellatrix turned her attention on them. 

"Miss Weasley, Miss Granger; something you'd like to share with the class?" They both shook their heads. "I thought not."

Bellatrix began her lesson and Hermione realised that this was going to be difficult. She couldn't help but see the woman in a way she hadn't before; the way she controlled the classroom had always been masterful, but now Hermione was mesmerised. Bellatrix's eyes flicked over her three times, lingered only once, but Hermione could feel the pull between them. Every time she would focus on her page, she could feel her eyes being drawn back to her teacher as though being called, but every time, Bellatrix was looking elsewhere. 

She shielded her thoughts constantly now, so she wasn't scared that Bellatrix would hear what she was thinking. But that didn't mean she wasn't studying her intensely; mapping those eyes, the lips, her nose, her jaw line... Hermione wanted to remember every line of her.

She blinked and focused back in on what Bellatrix was saying, aware that she had been zoned out for several minutes. 

When class ended Hermione's heart rate had picked up significantly. Others around her packed up quickly, always desperate to get out of Professor Black's room in case she took a sudden dislike to them, but she took her time. Ginny raised her eyebrow, silently asking if Hermione was joining her. 

"You go on ahead Gin, save me a seat for lunch." Hermione said, grateful there wasn't a lesson after this. "I just have to ask Professor Black a few questions."

Ginny smirked but nodded, heading out after promising to leave space for her at the table. 

When the last student left Hermione, leaving her bag on the table, stood and moved around to the front of the room. Bellatrix watched her from behind her own desk. 

"So..." Hermione said, letting it trail off, waiting for Bellatrix to explain. The older woman sighed and ran a hand through her hair; Hermione's eyes were momentarily distracted by the curls bouncing back in to place. 

"I couldn't let you know that I wouldn't be here because I wasn't conscious for most of it."

"What?" Hermione took a few steps closer and Bellatrix's eyes became wary. "What happened?"

"I was in St. Mungos. I'm quite clearly fine, so there's nothing to be concerned about."

"Nothing to be..." Hermione trailed off, exasperated. "Are you kidding me?"

"Granger, I-"

"Don't Granger me. What happened to you that Madam Pomfrey couldn't fix?"

Bellatrix studied her momentarily and then snorted, her features softening. 

"You are quite frustrating; have I told you that?"

"Yes. What happened?"

"I was dealing with some business, I got in to a situation and I needed rest and plenty of care to recover. But, as you can see, I am fine." Bellatrix gestured at herself. "Happy?"

"Not exactly," Hermione replied. "Was it in the forest?"

"Hermione..." Bellatrix sighed, stepping around the desk to face her. "I will not discuss this with you. Just... don't go near there for a while, will you?"

Bellatrix looked concerned and Hermione stepped forward, 

"How can you say that when you obviously keep facing... whatever it is? Isn't anyone helping you?"

"Hermione..."

"Because whatever it is it's clearly a match for you and-"

"-Hermione..."

"-I just can't bear the idea of you being hurt!"

Bellatrix's sad smile grew as she raised her hand, as if to brush away another escaped strand of her from around Hermione's face, until she paused. Her hand lowered again and Hermione ached for the contact. 

"I'm fine. Try not to worry so much."

"That's not exactly easy now, is it?" Hermione groaned. 

"No," Bellatrix admitted. "It's not."


	23. Late Night Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione spends some quality time with Ginny, although conversation is never too far from the subject of Bellatrix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to post this last night but held off until now so I could add the last part of this chapter and make it extra long for you.   
> But yay, I seem to have my mojo back! Two quick updates, one after the other? Success!

After a week, Hermione was resigned to the fact that she could not get her mind to behave during Bellatrix's class. Of course, she still managed to take in the information, but now it was because every word from Bellatrix's plump and very distracting lips was permanently etched in her brain. On top of this, she found that they had made... well, not a mistake exactly. But she realised that it might have been possible to not be so distracted, had they not kissed. 

Now, Hermione's thoughts would always wander to lips on hers, hands in her hair; that moan that had been shared between them. Just thinking about it made her smile and bite her lip; she was too aware of how obvious this could make her look. She was supremely glad that her seat was at the front of the class, knowing that it would keep her safe from the eyes of most other student. 

Ginny on the other hand made a point of smirking regularly at her, sometimes even elbowing her in the middle of class when she had gotten a little too wrapped in her thoughts. Hermione had almost knocked her ink off the table when she'd jumped and had been so embarrassed by the fact that she'd been caught that she didn't fantasise about Bellatrix's lips for the rest of the class. 

"Oh, you're so done for," Ginny hissed, chuckling as they walked down the corridor towards the Gryffindor common room one evening after studying in the library. Bellatrix had been in there when they'd arrived and Hermione had spent the first five minutes of their study session sneaking glances at the other woman. Ginny had rolled her eyes and snorted so loudly that Madam Pince had shushed her from five shelves over. Bellatrix had left with a small smirk on her face. 

"I don't know what you mean," Hermione said, focusing her eyes on the ceiling as though it were particularly interesting that day. 

"You haven't stopped staring at her since she got back!" Ginny laughed. "It's so obvious, Mione."

"What is?"

"You are so head over heels for her. I mean it was obvious at Christmas but damn..." They reached the Fat Lady and said the password 'Centaur' before slipping inside. "I don't think I've ever seen you so distracted in a lesson but the library was the last straw. It's so obvious."

"Ginny, do you think maybe we could go to my room?" Hermione muttered, looking around the common room at all the possible ears that could hear them. 

"As long as you promise to give me the details."

"Fine," Hermione rolled her eyes. "Come on."

They hurried up the stairs, Hermione chewing on her lip, determined that she wouldn't actually give any details. But she wanted to talk to her friend, even if she could only talk about her feelings. It was constantly on her mind. She needed an outlet and she could hardly bring it up with Bellatrix. She was having a hard enough time not sneaking to her rooms at night; conversations late at night over a drink seemed to have become a habit and she craved their closeness. 

"So, what is it? Tell me everything." Ginny said, flinging herself on the bed and staring expectantly at Hermione. 

"Alright." Hermione cast a charm on the door so that no one would be able to hear what they were discussing if, for some reason, they decided to eavesdrop. "Yes, I am... attracted to her."

"I already know that, dumb ass." Ginny laughed. "We've talked about it."

"Oh... yeah," Hermione sighed, fidgeting. "I mean I really like her and seeing her outside of school..."

"It made you think about it even more."

"Yes."

"Has she said that she likes you back?"

"What?" For a moment, Hermione dreaded that Harry had been talking to Ginny about their conversation, or that someone had said something. 

"Well come on," Ginny said. "She was miserable after you left on Boxing Day. She completely pulled away. It was weird. I mean not, because we'd all thought it was weird watching her be all friendly and taking part and smiling... but then you went and she basically became this little thunder cloud in the house. When she left with Andy we were kind of glad really. It was awkward because of Ron. Then we got the invitation and all that happened on New Year... again, I'm so sorry for my idiot of a brother's behaviour."

"Ginny, you've apologised about ten times now. You don't have to," Hermione shook her head, smiling. "Honestly, I am trying not to think about it."

"Yeah well... you disappeared off with the three sisters and then left and obviously he was a nightmare. But when I saw Black after that she was... happy. Despite everything. I could see her smiling to herself a little."

"She did?" Hermione blushed faintly. 

"I KNEW IT. Something happened. What?"

"Nothing. Well it's just that... Ron accused her and I of sleeping together, as you know. And we did laugh about it afterwards. It was... nice."

"Oh Merlin, you're in trouble," Ginny giggled. "You're so in to her."

"Ginny, hush. You can't tell anyone I like her."

"I won't. I promise," Ginny sobered up. "I get it. It could make things weird. But I kind of hope that you have the stones to ask her out or something after school."

"Ginny!" Hermione laughed, surprised. She couldn't believe that the idea had even crossed Ginny's mind. 

"What? Like it's such a bad idea?"

"She's my teacher!"

"I said after school, I mean jeez." Ginny laughed. "I'm not dumb."

"I know you're not. But I don't... I don't know." Hermione couldn't lie to Ginny. Not outright. She felt like she should deny, deny, deny, but Ginny already knew how she felt. Hell, it was Ginny that first told her that Bellatrix might feel the same way. It wasn't that she didn't trust Ginny to keep it a secret. Ginny might be a gossip sometimes, but for something serious she could keep it buried. But Hermione still felt anxious. She knew that telling one person a secret doesn't always mean telling one person. People were programmed to need to talk things through. What if Ginny needed to tell Harry, to talk through it? And what if Harry accidentally let something slip to Ron...? 

She shook her head and focused on Ginny again, who was looking at her with a sympathetic smile on her face. 

"It must be really difficult. Feeling this way." Ginny said, reaching out her hand to place it on Hermione's hand. "Especially after everything you've been through. You deserve a break."

"I should be so lucky," Hermione chuckled, settling finally on the bed next to Ginny, who pulled her in to a hug. "Hey, I've got some Christmas chocolate; do you want some?"

"Uh, of course I do." Ginny grinned, releasing Hermione. "When do I ever turn down chocolate?"

"Good point."

"I smuggled in some fire whiskey; I could go get it?"

Hermione felt a thrill run through her; fire whiskey reminded her of Bellatrix. Perhaps it would be nice to have a glass before bed; before her dreams filled with her. 

"Sure. But be careful. I don't need anyone seeing you and reporting you to me for having alcohol."

"Yeah yeah, I got it in here; I'm hardly going to mess up between my room and yours."

Ginny jumped off the bed. 

"Remind me to ask you _how_ you get it in here when you get back!" Hermione called after her friend. 

She lay back on the bed and rested her head on the pillow. _Well, that didn't go too badly._

If she was to survive Bellatrix's presence without being able to touch her, she supposed that talking about being attracted to her every so often with Ginny could do no harm. Her friend already knew and it wasn't like Hermione was doing a good job of hiding it. She hummed, thinking of the little smirk she had seen on Bellatrix's face at the library earlier. No, she didn't think she could survive her without her friend being there. Six months suddenly seemed like a lifetime. 

Ginny returned, the bottle hidden under her robe. Hermione grabbed to glasses and waited for her friend to pour them out while she grabbed the chocolate. They sat on the bed with the chocolate between them; holding their cups. 

"Cheers," Hermione grinned and they clinked their glasses together, taking a sip of the firey drink each. 

"So, what's the best chocolate?" Ginny asked, looking at the selection. Hermione laughed and talked her through the muggle chocolate. It was one of their favourite things to do; Hermione would provide muggle confections and Ginny would give her opinions, while they talked and put the world to rights. After so many years with primarily boys as friends and the time where Harry and Ron were her only companions, Hermione treasured these moments. They were special to her and they had kept her sane during the times when she was so worn out from rebuilding Hogwarts that she thought she might break. 

"I can see it, you know?" Ginny said much later, when they were full of chocolate and buzzed from a second glass of fire whiskey. "I can see you both being together."

"What?" Hermione asked, surprised. 

"I can see it. Two of the most powerful witches, taking on the world together? I get it."

Hermione blushed but tried to blame it on the whiskey. She didn't want Ginny to know how often she had thought about it. 

"Well..." She shrugged, staring at the remnants of her drink. 

"Reckon you'd have a kid?" Ginny teased. 

"What?" Hermione almost choked. 

"Yeah, can't you imagine it?" Ginny laughed. "You two and a kid? Damn I'd pay to see that. Oh my god I have to be their auntie. Seriously. Black would hate having a Weasley as family."

"I don't know... she likes George. And your mum I think."

"She likes George? What? She spent most of Fred and George's school life giving them detentions!"

"Yeah but remember when they set off those fireworks?" Hermione laughed, her eyes streaming with the memories. 

_The hall was filled with smoke and lights and Hermione had followed the other students as they ran out in to the courtyard, following the weasley twins to cheer their victory. She had paused at the door, looking back at a blackened and distraught Umbridge, and a smug grin lit her face. When she turned round to continue outside, she saw Professor Black standing their, a sly grin on her face as she looked at the once-pink woman. She spotted Hermione and her eyes sparkled momentarily before she turned on her heel, her skirts billowing around her and headed outside with the crowd. Hermione followed, amused._

_Later, she remembered the look on Black's face when Umbridge had arrived in the courtyard, screaming at the other teachers to get control of the students and send them back inside._

_Umbridge squared up to the dark witch, still smudged with black although it was clear she had tried her hardest to get cleaned up. Bellatrix's lip curled in disgust and Hermione watched Umbridge back down under the stare._

_"I'll have your job for this, Black. You were outside the hall. You should have stopped them." She hissed from a safer distance._

_"I have no idea what you are referring to, Dolores," Professor Black said, her voice ringing out across the courtyard, drawing everyone's attention to her. "I was nowhere near the hall. Of course, if I had been, the Weasley's would not have gotten past me... or do you doubt my skills as a witch?"_

Hermione caught her breath, wiping her eyes again. 

"Umbridge looked like she'd swallowed a puking pastel!" Ginny chuckled, drying her own eyes. 

"That was the moment, I think," Hermione said, settling back against the pillows. "That was the moment that I first realised that I was interested in a way that was more than... academic."

"Umbridge?" Ginny teased and Hermione rolled her eyes. 

"Oh yeah. All that pink and hatred of... well, everything? Totally a thing." 

Ginny snorted in response. 

"Don't forget the kittens. All those kittens on all those plates..." 

They both shuddered and Hermione downed the remnants of her glass. 

"You know who I meant."

"Yeah... Seriously though, that was when?" Ginny said, leaning forward, interested. 

"Yeah, I guess. I didn't realise at the time. But watching her do that... it was more than admiration. Of course, I still had my doubts about her. But that was it."

"Oh yeah, doubts. It was only doubts that made you storm in to Dumbledore's office and demand her removal."

"I feel bad for that now," Hermione admitted, looking out of the window to the starry sky. "Although with all the evidence... she and Dumbledore did a very convincing job. Even more so than Snape, I would say."

"Well yeah, I mean, no one ever feared Snape like they did her. There's something dark in her, even now." Ginny lay back again, sighing. "To go through all of that... damn."

"She's the strongest person I've ever met," Hermione murmured, resting her chin on her knees as she wrapped her arms around her legs. "It's a miracle that she's as sane as she is."

When Ginny left her room later than night, Hermione retrieved the Marauder's map and located Bellatrix's footprints. They were stationary in her room and Hermione let her mind slip to what that could mean as she undressed and slipped her favourite tartan sleep shirt on. Slipping under the sheets, she closed her eyes, imagining Bellatrix in bed. Did she always wear satin or silk, like her robe and pyjamas from Christmas? Did she always look ruffled in the morning, as she had when sleeping on the sofa? So beautiful... Hermione sighed, becoming tired. 

Imagine waking up to her... 

***

It was the weekend and Hermione was studying. This was her last year; there was little else to do in her free time other than making occasional trips to Hogsmeade or supporting Ginny during Quidditch matches. She turned the page of the largest textbook, taking notes diligently. 

She wasn't sure how long she'd been in the library but suddenly she felt eyes on her, like a sudden trail of fire along her spine. She knew before looking who it was. When she met onyx eyes, the little smirk on those red lips made her own lips curl and she shifted in her seat, angling herself to face the other woman. 

Bellatrix sauntered over. 

"Miss Granger, you're in the library late."

"I always am. Madam Pince lets me close up sometimes. She knows that I can be trusted."

"Rare praise indeed." Bellatrix glanced around, looking for the librarian, or indeed anyone else that might be in the library. It appeared to be mostly deserted, save for two other final year students further in. "I imagine you've been here for a long time?"

Hermione glanced at the clock on the wall, her eyes widening. She had missed dinner. How had it gotten so late? 

"Oh..." Her stomach rumbled and she glanced down at it embarrassed. "Yes."

"You missed dinner," Bellatrix said, a raised eyebrow. "At least, I didn't see you there. Not that I was looking, of course." 

That small smile, teasing, would be the death of Hermione. 

"Of course not." Hermione glanced around too. "Don't tell anyone, but when I forget I usually sneak to the kitchens. Winky usually likes to give me some food."

"Well perhaps it might be a good idea to do that."

"Yes, I think I will." Hermione began to pack her things away, shrinking the larger books so that they didn't take up as much space. 

"When you've eaten, you might want to check the Room of Requirements on your rounds. I've heard that students have been sneaking in there. Think you can handle that, Head Girl?"

"Oh I'm sure I can manage, Professor Black," Hermione replied, standing, an action which brought her closer to Bellatrix than either of them had been expecting. Hermione caught the scent of cinammon that she so dearly missed, along with pine and wood fire smoke... she took a step back, afraid that she would step closer instead. Bellatrix's eyes had darkened. 

"Good. Do try not to take too long."

With that, she turned and left the library, leaving Hermione staring after her. 

_There is no way that she'd pass up an opportunity to oust some students from that room if they were caught._

Hermione made her way to the kitchens quickly, finding the warmth in there to be comforting. There was a small pot on the stove, bubbling and Winky appeared almost as soon as Hermione did. 

"Hello Miss, noticed you weren't at dinner Miss..."

"Winky, it's Hermione, please," Hermione reminded her gently. 

"Hermione," Winky bowed her head a little and Hermione resisted the urge to sigh. It was a long process, encouraging Winky to see her as a friend. "Winky kept some stew for you. Winky made bread too." 

"Thank you Winky, that's very kind."

Hermione sat with Winky and told her about her Christmas and asked Winky about her time during the holidays. Winky always seemed to know the goings on in the castle and liked to share them with Hermione. They hadn't had the easiest start, but Winky had grown on her and she had grown on Winky. 

When the stew was finished and she had given Winky a quick hug that made the house elf sniffle loudly, Hermione left and headed to the Room of Requirement. 

There was no sign of anyone in the corridor. In fact, she had not come across anyone during her journey up there. It was not too late, especially on a Saturday night, and she had expected to find someone breaking curfew. 

She paced in front of the blank wall and the door appeared. She opened it and slipped inside. 

The door closed behind her as she saw a very familiar set up. It was almost exactly the same as the design from the early days of Dumbledore's army, with a few different touches like a dark green leather sofa to the side, with a smirking Bellatrix seated on it. 

"When I said 'try not to take too long'..." 

"I'm sorry. I was catching up with Winky; she's one of the house elves here."

Bellatrix's eyes sparkled and she chuckled. 

"Mmm. Of course you were." The older woman stood up, dusting off her skirts. 

"What am I doing here, Bella?" Hermione asked warily. They were in a room together, alone; a recipe for disaster as far as she was concerned. Well... not a complete disaster. But definitely overstepping the line they'd made. 

"I told you that I would help you become and Animagus under certain conditions. Circumstances may have prevented me before, but I have every intention of continuing to train you."

"Wait... you're still going to make me duel you?"

"Sometimes," Bellatrix smirked, studying Hermione carefully. "There are various techniques I can use to teach you to be more prepared."

"You remember that I beat you last time?" Hermione smirked back at her, putting down her book bag and pulling out her wand. Bellatrix chuckled. 

"Did you indeed?" Bellatrix's own wand slid from her sleeve and in to her hand like a snake. "Or did I just let you, since you needed the ingredient?"

Hermione chuckled and readied herself. 

Duelling with Bellatrix was different now. Knowing her helped only a little; Hermione could see the little lift of her lips when she was impressed, or the slight narrowing of her eyes when Hermione put a foot wrong. But Hermione had to admit that she was outmatched. Bellatrix moved gracefully and with intent; it was like a dance with each spell as a section of choreography. Hermione was sweating just trying to keep up. 

Eventually, Bellatrix disarmed her, sending her wand flying across the room to land in her opponent's hand. 

"Damn," Hermione panted, sagging a little. "You're good."

Bellatrix's chuckle was a little dark and she crossed the floor to Hermione, holding out her wand for the younger witch to take back. 

"Your technique is good but you're lacking in stamina and creativity. The trick you pulled in the forest aside, I don't see much of it in your duelling which is surprising, since it appears to be something that you have little problem with during other activities... like snowball fights."

Hermione took her wand back with a wry smile, shrugging. 

"Well, a snowball fight won't end with me getting in to too much trouble."

"Debatable," Bellatrix replied, her lips curling again. Hermione's stomach fluttered. 

"You realise that you didn't win any of those? Not really."

"Yes. But neither did you."

"I could make a case that I did."

"And I could argue against that."

"You're playful tonight," Hermione mused, biting her lip a little before she remembered what a response it usually got from the other woman and released it. 

"Playful?" Bellatrix's voice lowered and she stepped a little closer. "Am I indeed?"

"Yes. Not a phrase commonly associated with you, but I've seen it before."

"Hmm," Bellatrix hummed, surveying Hermione closely, her eyes pausing on the younger woman's pink lips. "Well, I had better stop. I have a reputation to uphold."

Hermione shivered; Bellatrix's voice did things to her when she was like this. 

"We both know I can see right through your reputation," she replied with a shaky voice. Bellatrix's eyes closed and she inhaled slowly. Hermione watched, waiting. 

"It's late," she murmured when she opened them, fixing Hermione with that look she had seen in her eyes at the Weasley's house; one that could only mean she cared. "You should be getting back."

"It's Sunday tomorrow," Hermione said, her fingers itching to bury themselves in Bellatrix's hair and bring her in to a kiss. "I can stay up."

"We both know it's dangerous to stay alone together for too long," Bellatrix replied fondly, brushing some of Hermione's hair out of her face in a way that made Hermione's eyelashes flutter. "Go. Have a bath in the Prefect's bathroom; relax. You're tense."

"Only because I'm restraining myself," Hermione replied, testing the limits. Bellatrix's eyes darkened a shade and her answering chuckle was lower than before. 

"Go, Hermione. I have better restraint than to give in to this."

"You didn't on New Year's Eve," Hermione replied cheekily. Bellatrix's eyes fluttered down to her lips and she smirked. 

"No, I didn't."

***

Hermione did indeed go to the Prefect's bathroom, sliding in to hot, scented water and sighing. It was just what she needed; all the tension in her body from not lunging at Bellatrix and kissing her began to fade away. She hummed to herself as she bathed, thinking of the evening. 

Bellatrix had told her that she expected their practice to continue on Saturday evenings, although earlier than that evening had been. Hermione sighed, sinking further in to the bubbles. 

As if lessons weren't already distracting enough, she was meant to spend one on one time with Bellatrix, alone, now? She couldn't help the smile on her lips. Spending time with Bellatrix was something she craved. She missed those talks on various sofas, where little by little the two of them had opened up to each other. There was still so much they didn't know about each other. 

And Hermione wanted to know everything. 


	24. Saturday evenings and Sunday mornings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Saturday training session with Bellatrix and some nightmares that lead to another early morning walk...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, I've thrown in so many of the things you all like from previous chapters that I'm preparing to call an ambulance for a few of you ;)

_Where is she?_

Hermione was waiting for Bellatrix on the green sofa the following week, checking the clock far more often than she should, in hopes that she had just gotten the time wrong. She hadn’t. Bellatrix was late and Hermione had been waiting desperately for this evening all week. It had kept her going when the rain had poured, with no sign of a storm. Bellatrix had caught her looking at the ceiling in the Great Hall hopefully a few times during meals and the slightest hint of sadness had flicked through the older woman’s expression too. 

With a sigh, Hermione looked at the clock on the wall again. Only a few seconds had passed and she let out a huff of frustration. She had just contemplated retrieving the map from her bag when the door opened and Bellatrix strode through it. 

Hermione watched her enter, spot the younger witch immediately and smile. 

“I was starting to get worried,” Hermione admitted as Bellatrix walked towards her. The older woman paused momentarily, then lowered herself onto the sofa, facing towards Hermione. 

“Worried?”

“Yes.” Hermione chewed her lip. “After… I don’t know, maybe it’s stupid.”

Bellatrix studied her quietly and then, hesitantly, reached out and curled her hand around Hermione’s where it rested on her knee. 

“If you hadn’t noticed, as the brightest witch of your age, your quota for stupid has hardly been filled.”

Hermione’s lips twitched as she looked down at Bellatrix’s hand on hers, revelling in how soft and comforting it was. 

“What about all the trouble I’ve gotten in; the things you always bring up?”

“Quite easily blamed on your friends,” Bellatrix shot her a little smirk, allowing her thumb to stroke Hermione’s hand before she slowly removed hers. “You don’t have to tell me, but I am open to listening. It’s about time I took on that role after everything you’ve had to witness while getting to know me better.”

“I didn’t mind. I don’t mind.” It was Bellatrix’s turn for her lips to twitch and she leaned sideways on the sofa, supporting her head with her hand. She waited patiently for Hermione to continue if she wanted to. Hermione breathed in and then sighed. “I was scared that you’d gotten hurt again.”

Bellatrix’s jaw tightened but she remained silent until it relaxed and her eyes were no longer sharp. 

“I know you were worried when I didn’t return to school immediately. But I am a skilled witch, Hermione. I can handle myself.”

“I saw what happened to your shoulder that morning that I saw you as a wolf. I saw what happened when those idiots caught you off guard in the pub. Neither of those incidents merited a trip to St. Mungos so forgive me if I’m a little nervous that you’ll get hurt again when I don’t even know what happened.”

“Hermione,” Bellatrix sighed in the face of the younger woman’s raised voice. “What good would telling you what happened do? It is done; I am healed.”

Hermione glowered and Bellatrix’s brow furrowed, irritation flitting through her eyes. 

“You should have someone with you if you’re putting yourself in danger.”

“You are relentless,” Bellatrix growled, pushing off the sofa and pacing away before turning to face Hermione. “You say you want a normal year but you can’t help but look for trouble. Can’t help but ask for things that-” Bellatrix stopped as she saw Hermione’s head drop. 

“I don’t like the thought of you getting hurt.” Hermione’s voice was small but Bellatrix could hear the strain in it; Hermione was close to tears. Taking a deep breath, she padded towards the other woman and stood in front of her, hooking her finger under her chin and lifting her head. 

“I know.” Bellatrix’s voice was soft and she gazed down at Hermione with such large, dark eyes that Hermione ducked her head again. Bellatrix slowly knelt in front of her, peering up at her face. “Hermione, I understand.”

“Then why…” Hermione’s voice trembled and tailed off. 

“Why do I keep doing things that get me hurt?”

“Yes.”

“For the same reason that you continued to stand by your friends. For the same reason that you searched for so long for a way to defeat... Voldermort.” Bellatrix took her hands and squeezed them. “To protect people. To do the right thing.” 

Hermione swallowed hard, looking at the woman in front of her. The woman on her knees, trying. The woman whose thumbs were rubbing over her hands again. 

“But why does that mean you have to do it alone?”

“It doesn’t. But I chose to do it this way. You trust me, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Then trust that I know what I’m doing.”

Hermione studied her. 

“Will you at least tell me what it is? What’s in the forest?”

Bellatrix’s jaw tightened and she shook her head. 

“No.”

“But-”

“I said no, Hermione.” Bellatrix said, her wand sliding from her sleeve. “It’s time to practice.”

“Bella, I-” Hermione’s words were cut off as Bellatrix leaned up from where she was kneeling and kissed her soundly. She uttered a startled ‘mmmf!’ and then relaxed into the kiss, before it was abruptly ended. Bellatrix pulled back, blinking. “Erm… Bella… we’re not supposed to-”

“-I know.” Bellatrix stood, seemingly taken aback by her own lack of self control. “I’m sorry.”

“I mean… it’s not like I’m actually _complaining_.” Hermione shot her a rueful smile. Bellatrix rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the smirk on her lips. 

“Oh no, I’m sure you aren’t.” Hermione stood to join Bellatrix, her eyes lingering on the woman’s lips, which twitched in response. “Still, I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Well it’s not like anyone is around…?” Hermione replied, stepping closer. Bellatrix let out a dark chuckle. 

“Oh, I should have known you’d be tempting.” Her hand raised and her fingers delicately tucked some of Hermione’s hair behind her ear. “But, that lapse in judgement aside, I have made a promise.”

“You did,” Hermione agreed, although she leaned in to the touch and turned her head, her lips brushing lightly against Bellatrix’s wrist as she withdrew. “I’m sorry it’s so hard to keep. Well… I am in a way.”

Bellatrix laughed and stepped back, shaking her head. 

“You’re dangerous, Miss Granger.” Hermione wrinkled her nose at the name but Bellatrix’s eyes had sparkled when she said it. _She’s teasing me_. 

“As are you, Professor.” Bellatrix’s eyes flashed and she looked smug. 

“Well, as your Professor, I should remind you of why we are here,” she raised her wand, gesturing for Hermione to take out her own. “Let’s begin.”

The duel had lasted longer today; Hermione had remembered part way through her frustration that Bellatrix had managed to evade answering her questions and it made her respond with renewed vigour. Bellatrix still won, but she was perspiring by the end too and they both sagged when Hermione was disarmed. 

“Not bad,” Bellatrix complimented her. “You let your guard slip sometimes and your foot placement can get sloppy when you’re caught off guard; you need to work on that.”

“I can do that,” Hermione said, pulling off the jumper she had been wearing. It was too hot for it. Underneath, a simple black tank top covered her upper body. Bellatrix’s eyes burned a hot trail over her and Hermione blushed. “What? It’s hot.”

“I can see that.” Beads of sweat were clinging, not unattractively, to Hermione and Bellatrix found herself fascinated by the shimmer of them in the candle light. “We should call it a night.”

“Oh no, come on. I can do another round.” Hermione said, preparing herself. Her lips twitched and she shot Bellatrix a smirk. “Or are you feeling tired?”

“Not too tired to beat you,” Bellatrix shot back and grinned, readying herself. 

They battled again; this time their movements slower, both aware that they were tired. Hermione concentrated on her footwork, determined to get it correct. Bellatrix still had the upper hand, pressing her back and back until Hermione was defending herself with her back against cool stone. She was disarmed and Bellatrix’s wand was at her chest in another moment, catching her off guard. She was panting. Bellatrix, wild hair tumbling around her, was panting too.   
“I win again,” Bellatrix’s lips twitched. “But you are improving.”

Hermione was fixated on the woman before her, glowing in the aftermath and the flickering candle light. She could see sweat shimmering on her chest. Some part of Hermione’s brain thought, ‘ _she’s exquisite_ ’. Another part watched a bead of sweat trail down that chest and wondered what it would be like to lick it up. 

Bellatrix’s eyes widened and her lips parted in surprise. It took Hermione a moment to realise that she had lowered the barriers around her thoughts. Her cheeks reddened immediately. 

“Shit, I’m sorry.”

Bellatrix hummed and her eyes trailed over Hermione’s flushed face, down to her chest and then back up with a smirk. 

“You’re not the only one.”

With that Bellatrix turned, leaving Hermione gaping after her. 

***

Hermione’s dreams were… interesting. She was glad that she no longer shared a room with other students, sure that in the night she must have made some noises. Her dreams were particularly vivid after Saturday evening training sessions. If they weren’t filled with Bellatrix kissing, or doing much more to her, they were of the forest and Bellatrix lying on the floor, dead or dying, a strange dark creature standing over her. 

Hermione woke from those dreams with a sweat unlike the others; cold chills down her spine and an ache in her chest. One particular dream had caused her to wake up screaming and only when she checked the map and saw Bellatrix’s footprints, stationary in her room, did she calm down. 

It was after one of these particular dreams that Hermione dragged herself from her bed and, after checking that Bellatrix was safely in her rooms on the map, wrapped herself up warm and headed outside. There had been another load of snow; they were nearing the end of January and it was prime time for the Castle and its grounds to be covered. She traipsed through the grounds, enjoying the crunch of snow underfoot, watching her breath become condensation. The clouds above her were dark, threatening and heavy; she studied them hopefully. Her mornings and evenings always involved the spell and she had begun to feel the second heartbeat but she was desperate to finish her transformation. 

_I wonder what I will become…_

As she mused over this, she heard the crunching of snow coming from behind her. She was near the forest and she whirled around, half expecting Hagrid, but half terrified that it would be the creature from her nightmares. 

Black hair, pale skin and red lips stood out against the snow, the rest of the woman covered in elbow-length, black, leather gloves and a black cloak. Hermione’s heart fluttered. 

“A little early for a walk,” Bellatrix said as a greeting, stopping beside Hermione. “Especially in winter.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Hermione said; a half truth. She just didn’t want to return to nightmares of dark creatures ripping apart the woman who she cared so much for. Who she…

“Dreams?” Bellatrix murmured, quietly. 

“Yes.”

“The war?”

“No,” she admitted. “Those dreams have been replaced.”

“By what?”

Hermione gave her a look but Bellatrix’s face remained blank, even if she did understand. 

“By you. In the good ones. In the bad you’re.... Something is hovering over you and you’re…” Hermione halted as she felt her eyes well up; the dream had been so real this time. She had felt as though she had almost been able to smell the blood. Bellatrix’s lips pursed and she looked around, then reached out and gently pulled Hermione against her. Hermione felt the other woman’s chin rest on her head as she wrapped her arms around her. They stood like that for a few moments before Bellatrix’s arms loosened and she stepped hesitantly back.

“I’m not sure anyone outside of my sisters has cared for me as much as this,” Bellatrix said, the leather of her gloves making rough sounds as her hands twisted together. She seemed to realise what she was doing and released her hands, letting them fall to her sides. “I find it… difficult to deal with. But I am sorry that it is causing you to lose sleep.”

“We’ve all lost enough, haven’t we?” Hermione mused. “I just can’t lose you too. Everything was supposed to be better once the war had ended. People I care about were supposed to be safe.”

“Life doesn’t work like that, Hermione,” Bellatrix replied. “After war, the rebuilding is the important part. And that takes time.” 

Hermione sighed and looked towards the castle, where she had spent so many months helping to rebuild. 

“Yes, I know.”

Bellatrix’s hand touched on her arm and squeezed it gently. 

“Not just the castle, pet. We each have things inside us that we need to rebuild.”

“Yes…” Hermione sighed, looking down at the hand on her arm until it was removed. “I suppose we do.”

“Come on, it’s almost breakfast time and I don’t want you freezing out here.” Bellatrix began walking back towards the castle. After a minute of walking in silence, she spoke up, although her voice was now vulnerable and soft. “You’re the reason that I’ve started healing, instead of drowning.”

Hermione’s wide eyes shot to the woman walking beside her but Bellatrix didn’t look at her; her eyes were fixed on the castle ahead. Hermione smiled and she saw the ghost of one pulling at Bellatrix’s lips too. 

A short distance from the castle, they were startled from their comfortable silence when there was a rumble of thunder in the distance and all of a sudden it started to rain. They broke out into a run, charging through the snow until they reached the doorway and stopped, laughing. 

A crack of lightning over the forest caught their attention and it was followed by a deep rumble of thunder. Hermione, hair wet and plastered to her face gasped as the lightning lit up the sky again and she turned to look at Bellatrix. 

“Are you ready?” Bellatrix’s eyes were dark, but there was a gleam in them that made Hermione shiver. 

“Yes.” 


	25. Stormy Skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione finally becomes an animagus, in Black Manor, while a storm rages around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this during a storm so I am absolutely thrilled.

With a loud crack, indistinguishable from the flash of lightning that split the storm clouds overhead, the two witches appeared in front of the imposing iron gate of Black Manor. The wind had picked up, driving the rain into them forcefully, leaving both women soaked to the bone.

Shivering, Hermione followed Bellatrix towards the Manor, battling the wind as she tried to keep close. They tumbled through the door, closing it behind them with a bang which immediately woke the two portraits in the Hall.

“SCUM!”

“FILTH!”

“BLOOD TRAITOR!”

“BE QUIET!” Bellatrix yelled, pointing her wand at the paintings. The curtains flew back over them, and the sound was cut off. Gesturing for Hermione to keep quiet, Bellatrix led the way to the library and Hermione followed, leaving puddles of water on the tile. Once inside, Bellatrix slipped off her cloak, lit the fire and then turned to survey Hermione.   
With a flick of Bellatrix’s wand, Hermione felt warmth gliding over her as the spell dried her clothes. Water dripped from her hair down her chest and she shivered as Bellatrix’s eyes followed a droplet that trail between her breasts. 

“I’ll let you do your hair,” Bellatrix murmured, tearing her eyes away. “Sit by the fire. I’ll get the potion.”

Hermione sat by the fire, untangling her wet hair as she watched Bellatrix head over to where they had storied the potion. The dress she was wearing clung to her and Hermione could not, would not, tear her eyes away from the sway of her hips. 

The potion was blood red in Bellatrix’s hands and she carried it to Hermione, noticing how the young woman’s eyes raked over her. The answering smirk made Hermione blush and she confused instead on the potion. 

“Where should I take it?” She asked, her eyes flitting around the library quickly. “I don’t want to damage anything.”

“I’ll make sure you don’t hurt yourself,” Bellatrix murmured sitting next to her and handing the potion over. “The rest I can repair if anything happens. Try to remain calm. It will feel odd and it will take you sometime to get used to your new form. Take it slowly.”  
Hermione nodded, surveying the potion nervously. For the first time since this began, she felt concerned. 

“What if it doesn’t work?” She had seen images of those who had failed to transform; horrible, distorted bodies stuck between two forms. 

“Hermione Granger, do you really think that a potion made by the two of us would be anything less than perfect?”

“No, but-”

“Have you missed a spell; forgotten one morning or evening?”

“No.”

“Then there is nothing to be concerned about,” Bellatrix said firmly, fixing Hermione with a look that warned her not to argue. Hermione rolled her eyes and snorted, but she felt better. Bellatrix was there; she would not allow anything to go wrong. 

Taking a deep breath, Hermione stood and moved into the centre of the room, away from anything that she could possibly break. She looked at Bellatrix who was standing too, giving her a reassuring look and took a steadying breath. 

Raising her wand and pressing it to her heart, she performed the incantation one last time and then lifted the glass to her lips, swallowing the contents. 

There was a brief moment in which nothing happened; the silence only broken by the crackling of the fire and the rumble of thunder as it rolled around the Manor. 

Then Hermione gripped her heart, gasping, doubling over. Bellatrix took a step forward instinctually, but held back as Hermione fell to her hands and knees, her head shooting up; her gaze pinning the other woman in place. 

Hermione felt the second heartbeat, heard it loudly in her ears as she gasped; tears pricking at her eyes while her body felt that it had been set on fire. It hurt and she struggled to keep calm and accept the changes. Then, in a moment of clarity, she saw it in her thoughts; the creature she would become. 

Hermione let out a sob and Bellatrix couldn’t work out if it sounded relieved or pained. She hoped for the first. 

Hermione whimpered as her body began to move, transitioning into the form of her Animagus. Bellatrix watched with bated breath as Hermione’s hair retracted and began to spread across her body, turning into thick fur. Her face shifted, her eyes, still fixed on Bellatrix, became sharper. Hands, clawing at the floor in pain, became paws that tore lines in the wood. A whimper turned into a growl and she collapsed to the floor as the transformation finished. 

Bellatrix took a few steps forward, lowering herself to the floor on one knee, her hands braced on the floor in front of her, either side of her other leg, the knee of which hovered under her chin.

“Hermione… are you alright?”

A large head lifted from the floor and wide amber eyes studied her as tufted ears pricked. She opened her mouth and a chirping growl erupted which seemed to startle her. She leapt up and immediately lost balance, collapsing back to the floor. 

“It’s ok, try again, slowly,” Bellatrix encouraged. Hermione picked herself up hesitantly, flexing paws with what could only be described as a look of wonder in her eyes.

“You’re magnificent,” Bellatrix murmured, her hand stretching out, hesitating before she touched. “Do you mind?”

Hermione’s new form opened its mouth, closed it again and instead butted her head into the outstretched hand. Bellatrix’s hand touched soft, thick fur and she stroked it, her nails scratching a little until a pleased rumble reverberated through Hermione’s body. Bellatrix chuckled. 

“I should have known you’d be incredible,” Bellatrix murmured and Hermione’s head cocked to the side inquisitively. “It matches you perfectly, pet. Intelligent, patient, skilled. Spirited… of course you would be a lynx.”

Lynx-Hermione looked almost amused as her head batted Bellatrix tenderly, making the older woman chuckle. 

“Alright, alright, not so patient after all.”

Bellatrix pushed her away and with a gleam in her eye she transformed into the black wolf that was her animagus. With a friendly growl, the wolf rubbed its head against the neck of the lynx, who was smaller but stood her ground and rubbed back. 

Hermione was delighted. Her new senses were incredible; the scent of Bellatrix filled her nostrils and she shuddered in delight. The pine scent was fresher, the cinnamon spicier and the wood smoke burned her nose a little with its thick aroma. She rubbed against the fur again and heard herself purr in delight, watching as Bellatrix’s wolfish eyes gleamed in amusement. 

Embarrassed, Hermione butted her in the head and padded away, getting a feel for her body. Bellatrix followed, watching carefully until Hermione seemed sure of herself. Then she gave her a light swat with her paw and bounded away, leaving an astonished Hermione to chase after her. 

What followed was an odd game of tag; Bellatrix had a playful look in her eyes and a bounce in her step as she kept just out of Hermione’s reach. Hermione was reminded of their training sessions and realised that Bellatrix was doing it so that she could get used to her new body. With renewed determination she pounced on the wolf, sending them both rolling over the floor. Hermione ended up on her back, paws in the air, Bellatrix standing over her on all fours. 

Hermione wiggled gleefully and Bellatrix rolled her wolfy eyes in response. 

Hermione stared up at her and was suddenly struck by an overwhelming desire to see the woman’s face. She frowned and focused her mind. To change back, she was supposed to think of her human form. Closing her eyes, she thought about what she looked like. There was no change and she frowned deeper and tried harder. 

The change rippled through her and she opened her eyes, delighted, looking up into the wolfish face. Bellatrix leaned down and snuffled her face before giving it a lick. Hermione spluttered. 

“Ew, Bella,” she reached up and wiped her face and when she opened her eyes again, Bellatrix was back to herself, smiling down at her. “That was disgusting.”

“Oh really?” Bellatrix’s eyes sparkled and she leaned down so that her nose brushed Hermione’s. “What about this?”

Her tongue darted out and she wet Hermione’s lip before kissing her gently. Hermione felt her whole body react and she let out a little whimper when Bellatrix’s lips didn’t press further. 

“That’s not fair; you’re not behaving,” she pouted and Bellatrix cackled. “You said you wouldn’t do anything. You even said it to your sisters.”

“I told them that I wouldn’t touch you while you were at Hogwarts,” Bellatrix teased. “We’re not at Hogwarts.”

Hermione whimpered and bit her lip, then leaned up and kissed her gently, until she felt Bellatrix pressing down on her. 

“Bella…” she moaned and her fingers tangled in the wild curls. Bellatrix hummed against her lips and sighed. 

“Merlin, I want you.”

Her eyes flew open and she stared down into Hermione’s equally surprised eyes.   
“You do?” Hermione murmured, her eyes scanning Bellatrix’s face as a confused frown appeared on it. 

“Yes…. but I didn’t mean to tell you.”

“Why not?”

“Because... “ she sighed, resting her forehead against Hermione’s, “Despite my apparent inability to restrain from kissing you, I did mean what I said to you. I can’t… I shouldn’t do anything until you’ve finished school.”

Hermione ached but she pulled Bellatrix into another hot, lingering kiss with her fingers in her hair and then released her. 

“It’s ok; I’m ok with that. But I can’t promise that I’ll be able to resist kissing you either,” she said to the older woman fiercely. “I’ll at least try to restrain myself when there are other people around.”

Bellatrix chuckled and stroked Hermione’s hair out of her face before rolling off of her and standing up, holding out her hand to help the younger woman up. 

“You did remarkably well for your first time,” Bellatrix said, returning them to a safer topic. “Although I would have expected nothing less. It won’t be long before you can transform easily whenever you like.”

Hermione smiled, releasing the other woman’s hand reluctantly. 

“Thank you for this, Bella. Really… it means a lot that you did this with me.”

Bellatrix gave her a small smile, a shrug and turned away to walk to the window. Hermione caught sight of the faintest blush colouring the older woman’s cheeks as she went.

She pulled the curtains apart and Hermione joined her. They watched as the rain battered the window and the sky was lit by another flash of lightning. 

“I’ve always enjoyed storms,” Bellatrix murmured, not turning away. 

“What do you like about them?” Hermione asked, leaning back against the side of the bay window and looking at the older woman curiously. 

“They’re wild, untameable, filled with life… everything I ever wanted.” She smiled faintly and then her face was overtaken by a frown. “They’re also dangerous and destructive. You can’t get too close to them. I never thought of that side when I was younger. It was only later, after… I realised that I had become just like a storm. But no one ever saw them the way I did.”

She scoffed, shaking herself and crossing her arms across her waist as if she was protecting herself. Hermione debated how to reply, looking at the reflection of the other woman in the window. 

“Well… I’ve always liked storms,” she replied eventually, looking out at the weather again. A deep rumble, looking out at the weather again. A deep rumble, like stone moving against stone, thundered around the Manor. “I think they’re beautiful. They’re like… nature’s magic.”

Bellatrix smiled gently, closed her eyes and sighed. 

“You make it very difficult not to care for you, Hermione.”

“Why are you trying?”

Bellatrix turned and fixed her with a soft gaze that made Hermione’s heart flutter. 

“I’m not. Not anymore.”


	26. Stolen Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even Black Manor can be inviting, with the right company...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I'm back again. Wow. Hopefully you love this because we're starting to get a look in to Bellatrix's history here. 
> 
> Thank you for continuing to comment; I try and reply to everyone because I'm so grateful but I'm a bit behind at the moment so please bear with me!

Hermione ached. It had been several hours since her first transformation and since the storm had only gotten stronger they had decided to stay at the Manor and practice her change. 

Now she felt it in every muscle and her stomach grumbled, reminding her that she had missed breakfast and it was now well past one in the afternoon. 

She blushed, embarrassed, as her stomach rumbled again loudly and Bellatrix chuckled, raising an eyebrow at her. 

“I haven’t eaten; aren’t you hungry?” Hermione moaned, pouting a little. 

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. Ravenous.”

Hermione’s stomach twisted and she felt heat rush through her. She shivered and narrowed her eyes, chuckling. 

“Oh, that wasn’t fair.”

“I have no idea to what you’re referring,” Bellatrix smirked. 

“Suuuure,” Hermione rolled her eyes, her mouth in a permanent grin. “Can we go back and get some food? The rain has… sort of cleared up?”

They both looked out of the window at the storm, still raging around them. It might have eased slightly, but to say that it had cleared up was a gross exaggeration. 

Bellatrix looked at her, amused, with a raised eyebrow. 

“I can apparate us back to Hogwarts, but we’ll still have to get through the rain. Or…” Bellatrix hesitated and Hermione leaned closer. 

“What?”

“We could do as the muggles do and… get taken away. Is that right?” A slight tinge of pink covered Bellatrix’s cheekbones. Hermione felt her heart swell. 

“Get a takeaway, yes,” she smiled gently. “Are you serious?”

Bellatrix frowned and closed off immediately. 

“No, of course, I wasn’t thinking. We’re already past the line and-”

“-woah, Bella,” Hermione interrupted, catching her arm and smiling reassuringly. “I would love that. I was just surprised.”

***

Hermione collected the pizzas and slipped down the side alley, checking that she was alone before apparating back to Bellatrix. She felt a buzz under her skin as she re-entered the house, covered in the hood of the cloak that she had transfigured to look like a muggle coat. Bellatrix was waiting for her in the library, sprawled out on a sofa in front of the fire that crackled invitingly. Her head shot up when Hermione entered the room and the smile on her face made the younger woman’s heart swell again. 

“Pizza!” She announced, moving to the sofa. Bellatrix moved over so that she could sit down. “Oh no, if we’re going to do this, we’re doing it properly.”

Hermione lowered herself to the floor and put the pizza boxes on the sofa. She patted the floor in front of her and Bellatrix slid down, uncertain. 

“You eat pizza on the floor?”

“Takeaway pizza, yes. I mean you don’t have to, but some of my best memories are of sitting on the floor with my friends, eating pizza and talking for hours. Since this is your first time you should have the best experience.”

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and laughed, leaning against the sofa as Hermione slid the boxes in between them. “Go on, open it.”

Bellatrix lifted the lid off of the top pizza box and her eyes lit up as steam rose from the pizza. She hummed and took a slice, sniffing it before taking a tentative bite. A low moan erupted from her and Hermione almost choked. 

“This is…” Bellatrix closed her eyes. 

“It’s good right?” Hermione said once she had control of her voice again. Bellatrix hummed appreciatively and took another, bigger bite. Grinning, Hermione grabbed a slice and dug in too. 

“You do this with your friends?” Bellatrix murmured after a few moments which were only filled with noises of appreciation. 

“Sometimes. I haven’t really seen them much since… well the last few years. Not my muggle ones anyway.”

“What else do you do?”

“Go to the cinema, the park, get a drink… why?”

“Those sound like… are they not also date behaviour?”

“With the right person, yes.”

Bellatrix hummed and nodded. Hermione smiled; she found Bellatrix’s questions to be sweet. Bellatrix noticed her staring. 

“What?”

“I just think it’s sweet that Ms ‘I'm not so old that I don't understand the term 'friends with benefits'’ is asking me what counts as dating behaviour.”

Bellatrix’s brows furrowed and she looked down; Hermione was momentarily concerned that she had offended her. 

“I’m not exactly familiar with the practice,” she admitted when she looked back up. “It is not as though my life has left me with much time to date.”

Hermione chewed her lip. 

“No… I suppose it hasn’t.” She watched Bellatrix’s face for a moment; she seemed conflicted. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“About what?”

“Whatever is on your mind.”

Bellatrix’s face became dark and she looked over her shoulder at the fire, still crackling. 

“It would ruin this, I’m sure.”

“Why?”

“My life hasn’t exactly been sunshine and roses, Hermione,” Bellatrix responded, although she didn’t snap, which Hermione had been expecting. She hesitated and then reached forward and placed a hand on Bellatrix’s knee, which drew her attention back from the fire.   
“I know that. But it wouldn’t ruin my day to know more about you. In fact it would be really great to know more about you, if you want to share. Even if it is not happy.”

Bellatrix studied her with doubt and then sighed. 

“What would you like to know?”

“Anything,” Hermione said, removing her hand from Bellatrix’s knee but shuffling closer. “Anything you want to share with me.”

“And it goes no further than this room,” Bellatrix said, but it wasn’t the question that it sounded like. 

“I promise.”

Bellatrix nodded hesitantly and then turned to sit with her back to the sofa and look into the fire. Hermione put herself in the same position; a few inches separated their shoulders. 

“My parents tried to marry me off the minute I finished school. They were determined that I would breed; keep their line going. My father hated that he had no sons. Of course at that point, Dumbledore had already… we’d already entered into an agreement. Voldermort,” Bellatrix paused momentarily, her eyes closing as she dragged in a deep breath, “he came to one of my parents’ gatherings. They had been shoving me at the Lestrange boys all night but when he came I got some respite. Dumbledore had known he’d come; one of the greatest pureblood houses. How could he resist?”

Bellatrix’s voice was bitter and she gathered her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. Hermione’s heart ached. She shifted a little closer so that their shoulders brushed; she hoped that it would bring some comfort to Bellatrix. 

“I remember thinking that had Dumbledore not told me all he had… had he not already… I would have followed him. He was so charismatic; you have to understand that you left a conversation with him feeling as though you had met the next Merlin… like you had touched greatness. His power was palpable. I believe that if he had been looking for a woman, my parents would have done anything to make me his. But luckily, what he wanted was followers. Purebloods with power that would make him an army. And who better than the ‘Brightest Witch of her Age’, eldest child of the Noble House of Black? He told me I would be his secret weapon. He taught me a lot, trained me, told my parents that to be a true follower of his I would have no time to be a ‘broodmare’.There were times, like that, when I truly believed that I might really follow him. Cut ties with Dumbledore and just…”

She trailed off and Hermione held her breath, until it became apparent that Bellatrix was lost in thought. 

“But you didn’t.”

The sudden interruption of her thoughts seemed to startle Bellatrix a little and her dark eyes whipped around to pin Hermione in place. 

“No, I didn’t.”

“You helped us win the war.”

Bellatrix’s eyes darkened. 

“Yes. At the cost of so many people.”

“Less than would have been lost had he won.”

Bellatrix nodded, but her eyes were distant. 

“He was so pleased when I took a place at Hogwarts. Snape was a spy, yes. But his right hand, coaching future followers with the Dark Arts, under the guise of my position? Another person to spy on Dumbledore, just in case Snape failed? It was perfect.” Bellatrix’s head slumped and her forehead rested on her knees. “When he returned he had done away with the niceties. Stopped pretending that he cared about anyone, unless it suited him. He’d hurt us before but then…”

Bellatrix jerked away when Hermione’s hand rested on her shoulder; an attempt to comfort. Her face was strained, her eyes wide, breathing sharp. 

“I’m sorry,” Hermione murmured. 

Bellatrix took deep breaths and slowly settled back to where she had been. She left the space between them however and Hermione made sure to respect that as she settled down next to her again. 

“Why are you sorry?” Bellatrix asked after a few moments when Hermione could do little more than listen to her companion’s breathing return to normal. 

“Because you could have done anything with your life if you hadn’t had the parents you did, or hadn’t gotten caught up in a war of deceit and lies between two men that…” Hermione played with the seam of her jeans, unsure how to proceed. “They both played games. Played with people. I’m sorry you never got to do the things you wanted.”

“But I did want it.”

“What?” Hermione wasn’t sure she had heard her correctly; she had practically whispered it. 

“I did want it. Growing up the way I did… I spent my childhood protecting my sisters from my parents, as much as I could. I told Andy to get out of the house when she told Cissy and I about Ted; I knew they’d rather kill her than see her with a muggleborn. I made sure that Cissy got matched with Lucius; she’d been in love with him for years. But I hated my life. I hated what my parents stood for. I only realised that when I went to Hogwarts. I met someone who changed my perspective forever…” Bellatrix trailed off, looking lost and then shook her head. “Protecting people I care about from hatred, from outdated ideas… that’s always been me. It made sense to me when Dumbledore asked me to do that for him. For the whole wizarding world.”

Hermione’s eyes were tearing up and she hadn’t even realised. Watching Bellatrix, slumped, drowning in memories of things that she had buried or lost was heart wrenching. Her hand was out before she could stop herself but it hovered, uncertain, over Bellatrix’s shoulder. 

“Bella…?” Bellatrix’s head slowly turned and lifted from her knees. Her cheeks were wet, her eyes glossy and she hesitated when she saw Hermione’s hand. “Can I?”

Bellatrix watched her warily, momentarily, then she nodded. Hermione’s hand rested on her shoulder, her thumb rubbing gently over the curve. Slowly, Bellatrix relaxed. She watched Hermione with large eyes, the tears drying on her cheeks. Hermione leaned forward, stroking one of Bellatrix’s curls away from her face, running her thumb across her cheek. Then she leaned closer and pressed her lips softly on a high cheekbone, taking in the way Bellatrix shivered slightly. 

“Why are you so…?” Bellatrix was lost for how to finish the sentence, merely stared at Hermione as she pulled back, but not away. 

“Impossible?” Hermione answered with a smile, trying to get the other witch to laugh. “Annoying? Nosey?”

Bellatrix’s lips twitched and she gently shoved Hermione. 

“I believe the word is lovely. Sweet. Other such words.”

Hermione chuckled. 

“Well, don’t look like it offends you too much to say that, will you?”

“They are not usually words in my vocabulary,” Bellatrix responded with a wry smile. 

“What a surprise,” Hermione replied sarcastically, laughing. 

***  
It was dark when they returned to Hogwarts; the rain had stopped and all that remained was the wetness underfoot as they walked through the grounds. 

Hermione couldn’t help but watch Bellatrix, framed as she was in the moonlight that emerged every few minutes from behind clouds left behind by the storm. 

Being curled up by the fire; Bellatrix asking questions about muggle things, Hermione trying to answer the best she could, discussing Jane Eyre… even the conversation about Bellatrix’s past, vague as it might have been, had been engaging. Hermione had hated having to leave. 

“We shouldn’t enter the Hall at the same time,” Bellatrix murmured as they reached the entrance doors. “Your friends might have been wondering where you’ve been.”

“You might have been missed as well,” Hermione replied. Bellatrix snorted. 

“Go on in. I’ll be there soon.”

Hermione hesitated, then reached out and let their hands brush lightly; recognition of the day and a promise for more in the future. Bellatrix inhaled. Hermione blushed slightly. 

As she went to open the door, she paused, looking back at the older woman. 

“You know, we could have just used a spell to keep dry. Come back earlier.”

Bellatrix smiled. 

“I know.”

Blushing, Hermione opened the door and walked inside, leaving Bellatrix standing in the cool night air, still smiling. 


	27. Care of Magical Creatures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Hermione is in the library, things happen, she ends up sweaty... and then there's a lesson with Hagrid the next day and he reveals a little more information about the Forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Ok. So this chapter is 3330 words long which makes it one of my longest I think. That is largely thanks to writing sprints on my discord server, which is a creative server for writers, readers, artists, dnd players... the list goes on. If you're interested send me a message. 
> 
> I hope you love this. I really wanted to get a bit of the world, classes etc in there, give it a bit more grounding. In fact the last writing spring I did was only 15 mins but I finished the chapter in it and had to start on Chapter 28! So we will see how that goes. Anyway, that's about it other than to say a huge thank you to everyone reading and commenting on this fic, and leaving kudos. I appreciate you all and you're really getting me through this madness.   
> Stay safe.

Hermione was studying. The light from the candles had dimmed as they gathered in pools of melting wax; almost at the end of the wick. She glanced up as one flickered, then died out. 

“A little late to be in the library.”

Hermione’s head spun around and she found Bellatrix leaning against the bookshelves, smirking at her. 

“Well, it is my last year; there are a lot of exams.”

Hermione closed her book and stretched, watching as Bellatrix’s eyes traced her body. 

“We both know that you already know the material.”

“It pays to be prepared.”

Bellatrix’s smirk grew and she prowled forward, her eyes fixed on Hermione, who glanced around nervously, although she knew they were alone. 

“You should take a break.”

“Oh, should I?” Hermione felt her own smirk slide on to her lips and Bellatrix’s eyes were drawn there. 

“Yes.” Bellatrix paused right in front of her, her eyes gleaming in the low flames. Her hand stretched out and Hermione took it in a haze, distracted by Bellatrix’s magnetism; it seemed to wrap itself around Hermione and practically pull her to the older woman. 

Bellatrix had her pressed against the table a moment later, her hands against the wood either side of Hermione’s hips. Hermione breathed her in; the familiar mix of scents that were just Bellatrix, making her throat constrict and her chest ache. 

Fingers wound their way into her hair and her eyes fluttered shut as her head rolled back and soft lips began to trail the arch of her throat. Hermione let out a strangled gasp and Bellatrix chuckled against her throat, going over that spot again with a firmer kiss, before letting her teeth brush it. Hermione’s hips jumped and Bellatrix chuckled again, pressing her into the table further. 

“I… don’t know if this counts as a restful break…” Hermione managed to sputter as nails scratched her scalp in the baby hairs at the back of her neck; a hot, determined tongue licking a particularly sensitive spot on her throat. 

“Who said anything about it being restful?” Bellatrix murmured into her ear before sucking the earlobe into her mouth. Hermione could have passed out. 

“Oh, Merlin, Bella…” 

Bellatrix’s thigh slid between Hermione’s and the younger witch moaned as she felt pressure where she needed it. And oh, she hadn’t realised how wet she was…

“What on earth is going on here?”

Professor McGonagall’s voice interrupted them and Hermione looked over Bellatrix’s shoulder to see her favourite… well, second favourite… Professor and now Headmistress looking at them aghast. 

“Professor!” Hermione struggled to release herself but Bellatrix was apparently so focussed on pressing her thigh between Hermione’s legs and kissing her neck that she didn’t appear to have noticed they’d been interrupted. “Bella, stop, McGonagall is-”

“-Ssshhh, it doesn’t matter,” the witch murmured into her neck. 

“What?!” Hermione felt her eyes bulging in surprise. That thigh pressed up against her again and she barely contained another moan. “Bella-”

“Hush, it doesn’t matter.”

Hermione was confused and looked at a disapproving McGonagall. 

“She’s right dear,” Professor McGonagall said. “But still, one hundred points from Gryffindor. You won’t be passing your exams this year!”

“But I have to!” Hermione struggled, looking back at all her study materials. “I worked so hard!”

“Well you should have thought of that, shouldn’t you?”

“Yeah Hermione,” came another familiar voice and she whipped her head around to see Ron appearing from the stacks, a sneer on his face. “Now who is the failure?”

He looked at Bellatrix, still working on Hermione’s neck and centre, with disgusted amusement. 

“Ron, what-?”

“See what you get for choosing her over me?”

“Bella, stop, it’s all going wrong!” Hermione cried out, pushing at Bellatrix who stepped back, hurt. Before her eyes she transformed into a wolf and then they were in the forest and she was running after Bellatrix. Tree branches whipped at her face and clawed at her clothes and she could barely keep up. “Bella, wait for me!”

Out of nowhere a huge, dark creature leapt from the trees and hit Bellatrix from the side, sending her rolling over and over until her head cracked against a stone. The creature stood over her and raised a clawed paw, ready to strike...

“No!” Hermione shrieked as the trees clawed at her, pulling her back, away from Bellatrix. “No, don't hurt her!” 

The creature turned and looked at her, glowing red eyes staring into her soul, until she was swallowed by the darkness, her screams drowned out by the silence. 

Hermione was still screaming when she woke up, drenched in sweat, fighting against the sheets which she had become entangled in. Desperate, she wrenched them off and practically fell out of bed, her breaths coming in sharp, heavy gasps as she tried to calm herself. Scrabbling to steady herself on the dresser, she opened the drawer and yanked out the map, grabbing her wand. 

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good!” She practically cried at the map and then yanked it open, searching for Bellatrix’s footprints. The sun was just rising and as she held it up to the orange glow coming through her window she spotted the footprints, stationary, somewhere she hadn’t expected. Right outside the Gryffindor Common Room. 

Inhaling sharply, Hermione tapped the map, wiping it clean and left it on her bed, hurrying out of her room and down the stairs. The Common Room was empty; it was still too early for anyone to be up and Hermione practically ran across it, pausing only when she reached the back of the portrait. Catching her breath, she suddenly remembered that she probably looked a fright before rolling her eyes; Bellatrix had seen her during the war. 

She pushed the door and stepped into the frame, peering out. Bellatrix was standing there, staring at her. 

“So it was your dream.” She said it with such certainty that Hermione blinked. “You dreamt of the library and us and then the forest and…?”

“Yes,” Hermione replied, her brows furrowing. “How do you know that?”  
Bellatrix stared at her for a moment and then began pacing. 

“You were so loud, Hermione.”

Hermione’s sleep-addled brain tried to work out how Bellatrix could have heard her screams from her rooms when no one in Gryffindor seemed to have been roused. Then, with a gasp, she realised. 

“You heard… or saw… my dream?”

Bellatrix paused in her pacing and faced Hermione, then gave her a grim nod. 

“At first, I thought it was my dream. It started so…” she coughed and avoided Hermione’s eyes. Hermione flushed bright pink and ducked her head. “But then… I could feel it wasn’t mine. I slowly woke up and it was still in my head and then you screamed. You screamed so loud I leapt out of bed and ran here. I was so afraid something had actually-” Bellatrix stopped, stepping forward. “You’re okay?”

Hermione felt tears gathering, threatening to spill. She slumped against the side of the portrait, the dream and following waking moments catching up with her in a wave of exhaustion. Bellatrix moved forward, hand outstretched as if prepared to catch her if she fell. 

“I don’t know. That dream was intense.”

Bellatrix sighed. 

“I know. I felt it,” she added, pressing a hand to her chest above her breasts. “I had to come and check…”

“I’m okay. Really.” Hermione replied although she felt shaky. “It’s not the first time I’ve dreamt of you in the woods but… that one felt more intense. It was more intense.”

Bellatrix studied her, chewing her lip for a moment before releasing it with a huff of breath. 

“You’re concerned about what’s in the forest.”

It wasn’t a question, but Hermione nodded all the same. 

“I told you that. I asked you-”

“-I know.” Bellatrix cut her off gently. “I know you did.”

“So tell me. Please,” Hermione begged. It was the only thing that would quiet her mind, she was sure. At least she hoped that it would help to know what creature stalked her nightmares. 

Bellatrix opened her mouth to reply, but the Fat Lady had evidently grown sick of being open. 

“Oh for goodness sake, in or out dear, decide already!”

Hermione rolled her eyes and glanced down at her sleep shirt, suddenly becoming conscious that her legs were barely covered and she had nothing on under it. Bellatrix’s eyes widened in realisation and she quickly stopped looking quite so intensely at Hermione. 

“Go back to bed,” she murmured instead. “I’ll see you in class.”

“But-”

“Saturday. We’ll talk properly on Saturday. The usual time.”

***

“You’re jumpy,” Ginny said, narrowing her eyes at Hermione across the breakfast table. “Why are you jumpy?”

“I’m not jumpy,” Hermione rolled her eyes. 

“You’re fidgeting,” Ginny replied and then glanced over to the top table where, as usual for breakfast time, Bellatrix’s seat remained empty. “Is it…?”

“No,” Hermione shook her head, but Ginny looked unconvinced. “Okay, maybe a little. But it’s nothing bad… I think.”

Ginny snorted. 

“Really selling that for me ‘Mione.”

“I don’t know whether it’s good or bad, Gin, not yet. I’ll tell you if there’s anything you need to know, I promise.”

Ginny studied her for a moment, looking a little disappointed. Then she sighed. 

“Alright. As long as you’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” Hermione responded. 

Breakfast finished, the pair headed to their first lesson, Care of Magical Creatures. Hagrid was waiting for them and the rest of their classmates outside his hut, his hands in his pockets. 

They’d been working with the Centaurs recently, learning about their culture, something which Hermione was acutely interested in. She had considered the subject useful for her future, but she had to admit that she enjoyed it as well, despite it not always being the most academic subject. Besides, she had enjoyed getting to know the Centaurs, especially since they had dealt with Dolores Umbridge. She would never forget the pink bigot being carried off into the woods by the herd. 

“Hey Hagrid,” she smiled. “You okay?”

Hagrid looked a little nervous and she frowned. 

“Nothing’s wrong, ‘Mione, nothing for you to worry about.”

“Hagrid-” she began, not believing him for a second. He cut her off. 

“Why don’t you come for tea after class? If you have a free period.”

She had been planning to go to the library, but seeing Hagrid worried concerned her. 

“That sounds lovely, Hagrid.”

“Good... good.” Hagrid turned to the rest of the students. “Well kids, the Centaurs are a little busy today, so we’re going to go and visit the Merpeople.”

Hermione would usually have been apprehensive, after her journey into the lake in the fourth year, but she was too wrapped up in her thoughts to care. It wasn’t until they were on the Black lake in boats, listening to Hagrid call the Merpeople, that Ginny nudged her, pointing. 

The merpeople emerged from the dark water; slowly revealing their greyish skin and long, wild, dark green hair. Their eyes and broken teeth were yellow and they were decorated with jewellery made of stones and teeth. Hermione watched them circle the boats silently, staring up at the students. 

“O’ course, they don’t come under the category o’ Beasts; don’t want to be lumped in with the Hags and Vampires, do you?” Hagrid grinned down at the Merfolk who seemed to regard him with a sort of disgruntled indifference. “O’ course you were all here when the Triwizard Tournament happened, so you know that they are happy to work with us. ‘Mione probably knows that best o’ all, don’t you ‘Mione?”

Hermione saw everyone’s eyes on her and looked down at one of the Merpeople who had stopped in front of her and was staring up at her with large yellow eyes. 

“Yes, although I wasn’t awake at the time.”

“That’s right, under a spell weren’t you? But they kept you safe down there all the same, didn’t they?”

“Yes, they were the perfect hosts,” she replied, dryly, and heard Ginny snickering. The Merperson narrowed its eyes and gripped the side of the boat. For one moment, Hermione had the heart stopping notion that it might tip them into the water and drag her down to the depths again, but she quickly shook her head. They wouldn’t do that; not without intense provocation. Still, she wished that she had been awake when it all happened. Some part of her would have liked to have seen their home, their way of life, and understood them better. 

When Hagrid had them steer the boats back to shore, she glanced back and saw that the same Merperson was following her boat. She kept her eyes locked on it until she stepped on the shore at which point it stopped and sank beneath the surface. It was almost as if it were protecting her; making sure that she got back safely, although she could see no reason why it would feel the need to do so. Heavens, she was thinking all sorts of strange things today; had the dream unsettled her that much? 

Or was it merely that they sensed that she was no longer just a human? Did they sense that she had some part animal in her now that she was an Animagus? 

She pondered the idea for the rest of the class; afterall, animals had a greater affinity with those who were capable of the change and she knew from their adventures in the third year that creatures like Werewolves got on with, and were even calmed by the presence of other animals, or animagi, like Harry’s father, Lupin and Sirius. Perhaps this was a similar thing? 

Intrigued, she made a mental note to research the subject once she returned to the library. She followed the rest of the students back to Hagrid’s hut, where he assigned them the task of researching Merpeople and their cultures for the next class, as well as writing a thousand word essay on their ability to domesticate creatures such as Grindylows. Hermione suspected that Hagrid wouldn’t set any essays at all if McGonagall hadn’t taken his teaching style under her tutelage, but she was glad that the Headmistress had. Most students, particularly the younger ones, found Hagrid’s lessons to be their favourite, aside from Quidditch of course, and she was pleased to see that included his essays. He seemed to have a knack for choosing those subjects that would be interesting for even the least academic student to study, most likely because of his love for magical creatures and his history of lacking in academic interest himself. Either way, she always found a special joy in seeing students animatedly discussing his lessons outside of class; he deserved the love they had for him. 

Smiling, she barely noticed that everyone had begun to leave, until Hagrid loudly called after the retreating groups: 

“And don’t go looking for practical examples; Professor McGonagall will kill me if one of you drown!” Laughing, the other students hurried off, leaving Hermione, Ginny, and Hagrid in front of his hut. “You staying for tea too, Ginny?”

“If I’m not interrupting?” Ginny said, looking curiously between the two of them. 

“No, course not. ‘Mione would no doubt tell you anyway.” 

He led them inside and put the kettle over the crackling fire, which they were both grateful for. It had been cold out on the lake. It was almost February and still the frost could be found covering the grounds in the mornings and rain fell every day. They had yet to get any today, but Hermione suspected that it wouldn’t be long; she had seen storm clouds looming when they were on the lake. 

“So, what’s this about Hagrid?” Hermione asked, sitting down at the table with Ginny as the half giant collected mugs from his cupboard and put them in front of them. There was a plate of rock cakes in the centre of the table, which Ginny was casting doubtful looks at. Everyone knew that Hagrid’s rock cakes tended to be just like their namesake and several unsuspecting students had chipped teeth on them over the years. 

“Well…” Hagrid said, looking concerned as the kettle started to boil. “I told Professor McGonagall about it o’ course, but since you two are known for finding trouble wherever it is-” Ginny spluttered and Hermione laughed. 

“That’s more my brothers, thanks Hagrid.” Hagrid’s eyes twinkled and he guffawed. 

“You’ve had your fair share, Ginny,” Hermione responded, winking at her friend, making Hagrid chuckle further as he lifted the kettle from the spit and began to serve it. 

“Well, whatever the case, figured I’d better mention it to you,” he continued. “Strange happenings in the forest these last few months. Wasn’t happening a lot but it’s gotten worse recently.”

“What things?” Hermione asked, sitting up suddenly, very interested. Was this something to do with what Bellatrix had been doing in the forest? Did Hagrid know about it? 

“Lots of dead animals showing up. One of the Centaurs got injured the other day; that’s why they didn’t show up today. They won’t talk about it, say they’ll deal with it, but I know Professor McGonagall and Professor Black have been talking with them since before the school year began.”

“It’s been happening that long? What is it? Do you know?”

“No, not a clue. Animals were ripped to shreds, that’s all I can say. Didn’t get a look at the Centaur and like I said they won’t talk about it. I think possibly the Professors know but I doubt they’d tell me. Can’t be dangerous enough for them to tell the students at least.”

Hermione remembered the customary speech at the beginning of the year where Professor McGonagall had warned students to stay out of the Forbidden Forest. She had assumed it had been the same as every other year but maybe… maybe this time it had been because something new was there. But what…? Would Bellatrix tell her on Saturday? Did she even know? She must do; she had been attacked herself. 

Hermione fell silent as the questions whirled around her brain and Ginny studied her curiously. 

“Hermione, do you know something?”

“What? No.” Hermione rushed to say. “I don’t know anything. I just… I thought something might be happening. I guess this is it.”

“What made you think something was going on?” Ginny frowned. “Is it Black, did she say something?”

“No, she didn’t tell me anything.” Hermione glanced at Hagrid and then back at Ginny, hoping she’d get the hint. She seemed to and took a sip from her tea. Hagrid looked puzzled. 

“Why would Professor Black tell you anything about the forest?”

“She wouldn’t,” Hermione said, raising her own mug of tea and taking a sip. It wasn’t bad, considering that sometimes Hagrid’s tea was… interesting. “So Hagrid, great lesson today. I can’t wait to do that essay.”

Hagrid blushed and was suitably distracted. 

“You think? Do you think everyone enjoyed it?”

“Oh I have no doubt,” Hermione said as Ginny nodded her head. “I hear students gushing over your classes all the time now, Hagrid. I really think that the work that you did with McGonagall has paid off.”

Hagrid was now beetroot red. 

“Yeah, Professor McGonagall’s strict but she’s good at all this… academic stuff. She goes over the essays with me too.”

Hermione had suspected as much, but was pleased to hear it even so. 

“That’s great, Hagrid.”

“Yeah, I love it. Best lesson out there in my opinion,” Ginny grinned. “If I didn’t want to go into Quidditch, I’d probably go into Magical Creatures, like Charlie.”

Hagrid beamed and started asking Ginny about Charlie and his work with the new colony of dragons that he had been studying. It gave Hermione a moment to look out the window of the hut towards the forest, her mind wondering what could possibly be in there, lurking, taking on Centaurs and Bellatrix in wolf form…


	28. Quidditch and other games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little Gryffindor versus Slytherin, and I don't just mean the game of Quidditch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, more world building and finally that Saturday night you've all been waiting for. Some questions are answered!

Saturday had taken too long in Hermione’s opinion. She was amazed at how much she found herself eager for the weekends these days, when usually she loved her classes and hated when the weeks went by quickly. 

She still had a full day to get through before she could see Bellatrix, but luckily, Ginny had a Quidditch match after breakfast and Hermione was going along to support her. She watched as Ginny rallied the team over breakfast, making sure that they ate well. 

“You need your strength; I don’t want anyone fainting out there!” The red head barked at her Seeker before sitting back down and glancing at Hermione, who was smirking. “What?”

“Oh nothing.” Hermione chuckled, shooting a look at Neville and Luna who giggled. “Just, watching you be Captain. Quite the alpha aren’t you?”

Neville spat out the tea he’d just sipped across the table, narrowly missing Hermione. He choked a little as he laughed and Ginny’s face reddened. 

“You know I grew up with all brothers, Hermione. Sometimes you have to assert yourself.”

“Oh I have no doubt,” Hermione smirked. 

“Does Harry like that?” Luna asked vaguely, causing Ginny to almost choke on a slice of toast, much to the amusement of her friends and teammates, who were listening in. Neville blushed almost as red as Ginny. 

“Luna!” Ginny choked, aghast, which only made Hermione laugh more. “How… what?”

“Often those who lead require leading in their downtime,” Luna replied before looking at Hermione. “Don’t you think, Hermione?”

“I’m not sure I’d know, Luna,” Hermione said through her laughter. Ginny groaned and buried her face in her hands. “It’s okay Ginny, I think we’re done teasing now.”

“You’d think you’d be nicer on a Quidditch day,” Ginny moaned. “Afterall, we might win the House Cup this year.”

“And we’ll be cheering you on every step of the way,” Hermione replied as Neville nodded enthusiastically. Luna reached for the lion hat that she had made years previously and slid it on to her head. 

“Yes, Ginny, we’re behind you.”

They all grinned; Luna’s eccentricities made them love her even more. 

After breakfast the three friends headed down to watch Ginny, who had gone ahead with the team. Hermione could imagine her now, giving a rousing speech in their changing rooms about winning for the glory of Gryffindor. She smiled as she sat in the stands, listening to Neville and Luna talk about the match between Gryffindor and Slytherin. If Gryffindor won, they would face Ravenclaw for the cup. 

Hermione felt her gaze drawn to the teacher’s box, searching for Bellatrix. She had to be here; it was her duty as Head of Slytherin afterall. She had taken over after Snape’s untimely death as Slughorn had said he would much prefer to concentrate on running his club. 

“She’s not here yet,” Luna said absently. Neville looked between them puzzled as Hermione blushed a little. “Though I doubt she’ll be long.”

“Who?” Neville asked, frowning and scanning the crowd. 

“McGonagall,” Hermione replied hurriedly. “I wanted to catch up with her before the game.”

“Oh,” Neville replied, but didn’t question it. Luna gave her a knowing look but Hermione ignored her, focusing on the crowd, making sure that the students were behaving. The Quidditch matches had been rowdy this year. After a few minutes, she dared a glance at the teacher’s box again. 

Bellatrix and McGonagall had arrived and were sitting next to each other. It looked as though both teachers were determined for their side to win, although of course McGonagall now had to be objective, since she was Headmistress. Hermione chuckled under her breath as McGonagall leaned closer to Bellatrix and seemed to mutter something, which made the other woman roll her eyes. Yes, the competitive nature had not died between Gryffindor and Slytherin at their favourite sport and it showed in the staff. 

Hermione realised she was staring only when Bellatrix’s eyes caught hers and a sliver of amusement crept in to her expression. She inclined her head slowly towards Hermione, before raising a small Slytherin flag and waving it with languid amusement. Hermione rolled her eyes and waved back with her own flag. Bellatrix’s eyebrow raised and then her attention was pulled away by Slughorn. Hermione went to look away but her eyes stopped at Professor McGonagall. She was looking at Hermione with a raised eyebrow and a rye smile on her thin lips. Hermione reddened, memories of her dream from earlier in the week rushing to the front of her mind. She ducked her head, hopeful that McGonagall didn’t suspect… 

The sound of the crowd cheering and the announcements beginning distracted her and she watched as Ginny and her team flew out onto the pitch. They circled the stadium, waving at the crowd, before they were joined by the Slytherin players, who did the same. They met in the centre, hovering over Madam Hooch. 

Soon the balls were released and the game had begun. Hermione kept her eye on Ginny as much as she could; she cheered on her friend loudly and in the first ten minutes, Ginny had scored. The Gryffindor side of the crowd went wild and through the excited cheering and waving arms, Hermione glimpsed Bellatrix scowling. 

She had never noticed that the witch was an avid Quidditch fan before, but the idea intrigued her. Had she ever played? Despite herself, she had never much delved into what Bellatrix had been like at school; she knew that she had been top of her class and as the brightest witch of her age, how could she not be? She was momentarily lost in the concept of Bellatrix as a young student, roaming the halls of Hogwarts, studying in the library, perhaps laughing with her friends over the dinner table. She felt a tugging of her heart and she suddenly wished that she could have seen that. A happier Bellatrix, one that hadn’t been scarred by war, secrets and death. 

The Gryffindor’s groaned collectively and Hermione realised, as the Slytherin’s cheered, that they had scored. As she blinked and looked around, she felt the tear that had been welling in her eyes, escape. 

“Woah Hermione, never seen you so invested in Quidditch,” Neville said as she wiped her cheek to clear the tear. Luna eyed her with curiosity.   
“Yeah, I guess I just really want Gryffindor to win in our last year,” Hermione chuckled, shrugging off the melancholy that had been creeping in moments ago. She would be talking to Bellatrix later; perhaps she would ask her about her life as a student at Hogwarts. She turned her attention back to the game, knowing that Ginny would be talking about if nonstop for days if they won and would know if Hermione hadn’t been paying attention. 

This time, Ginny had control of the quaffle and was weaving in and out of other players, Gryffindor and Slytherins alike, aiming for the three goals. She narrowly ducked a bludger that one of the Slytherin beaters had sent her way, only to be flanked by two of their chasers. Hermione held her breath; Ginny looked like she was trapped. Then, as the two chasers jostled her, Ginny suddenly halted and the other two continued, not realising for a second that she had disappeared. When they did, she had already looped her broom up and over, circling under them and spinning away, scoring ten points easily. Hermione, Neville and Luna cheered loudly for their friend, amongst the crowds of other Gryffindors and Ginny did a celebratory loop of the stands, her arm raised victoriously. 

Play resumed. Hermione’s eyes occasionally wandered to the teacher’s box, watching Bellatrix who was glued to the game; passionately shouting every time a Slytherin lost the quaffle or cheering when they scored. Half an hour in, the score was a draw at three points each. It was an evenly matched game and the crowd were anxiously waiting to see if either of the seekers had spotted the snitch yet. Hermione knew that Ginny would be in a foul mood for at least a week if their team didn’t win and she prayed that they would. Her friend needed a win. She intended to be a professional Quidditch player when she left school and the school cup under her captaincy would be the best of references. 

They were an hour in, Gryffindor leading five points to four, when it happened. One of the Gryffindor chasers, a third year boy with long blonde hair called Thomas Warwick, had just captured the quaffle. He was speeding towards the goal, Ginny by his side, when a bludger smashed into his broom from underneath. The splintering of the broom seemed magnified in the stadium, but it was nothing compared to the crack as the ball hit him in the face, sending him flipping up, off his broom and towards the ground. 

He slowed near the ground as the stands erupted into screams and Hermione looked up to see Bellatrix and McGonagall with their wands pointed towards him. Madam Hooch and Pomfrey rushed out onto the pitch where he lay on the ground. The blood was obviously pouring from his nose and they hovered over him on the ground, Madam Pomfrey performing spells. Hermione and the others waited with bated breath and then the stretcher arrived. Thomas would not be continuing play today. Ginny stood where she had landed next to him, looking anxiously down at the boy. As he was carried off, she climbed on to the broom again and zoomed into the sky, gathering her team. 

“Ouch, not seen one like that in a long while. Not since Harry…” Neville said and then trailed off. “Poor kid.”  
“He’s in the best hands,” Luna murmured, although she had gone a little pale as she watched him being carried off. Hermione nodded and then looked over at the teacher’s stand. McGonagall and Bellatrix were in a heated discussion, pointing down at the boy being carried off. 

“Those two acted fast,” Neville added, seeing where Hermione’s gaze was directed. 

“Would you expect anything less?” Hermione murmured, dragging her attention away as play resumed with Gryffindor a player short. 

“At least he was a chaser,” one of the kids in front of her said. “If he’d have been the seeker it’d have been worse.”

She rolled her eyes but said nothing, knowing that he didn’t mean it in a truly negative way.

The game lost some of the excitement after that. The bludger hadn’t been hit by the opposing team, so there was no penalty, but both sides now seemed to be playing with a more careful stance. Ginny certainly was taking no risks with her team and it showed on both sides, with no more goals for the next ten minutes. 

Finally, the snitch was spotted. Both seekers tore after the little winged ball, merely a flash in the sky to most people. The Slytherin seeker was a little ahead and Hermione glanced over at Bellatrix to see her standing, yelling encouragement. Then the snitch twisted left and suddenly Grffindor was closer. They both tore after it and were neck and neck. Hermione stood too, adrenaline rushing through her. It reminded her of watching Harry play, although this seeker was not as good, but she treasured these school memories. The roar of the crowd, the commentary from the teacher’s box, everyone simultaneously seeming to yell and hold their breath. The seekers’ hands battled with each other, both reaching, determined to win… 

The Gryffindor crowd erupted in screams of joy as victory was theirs and Hermione cheered along with them, raising her arms to wave her flag. The seeker did a lap of the stadium, the snitch raised in her hand, grinning with glee. Neville hugged her and when she was released she glanced towards the teacher’s box once more. Bellatrix was glaring, but ruefully shook McGonagall's hand, promptly ignoring the outstretched hand of the new Transfiguration teacher and Head of Gryffindor house, Professor Pemble. The two witches had not gotten on from the moment that she had arrived to take over McGonagall’s place and every student knew it, but no one knew why. Professor Pemble regarded the other woman with a roll of her eyes and then dropped the outstretched hand before leaving the box, probably to head to the changing rooms to greet the team. Pemble had apparently been a great beater in her time at the school and was very invested in the game. 

Hermione watched Bellatrix scowling as the Gryffindor team did one last celebratory loop of the stadium before heading to the exit. She chuckled; Bellatrix would be annoyed about this for a while, she imagined. Knocked out before the finals? The Slytherin team would be hearing about it, she had no doubt. She wondered if Bellatrix’s mood would affect their meeting that evening. 

Bellatrix’s eyes met hers and Hermione gulped. There was something mischievous about the look in her eye; Hermione had no doubt that if they were training tonight she was going to get her ass beaten. Her cheeks reddened at the accompanying thought that she didn’t hate the sound of that. Bellatrix’s gaze turned curious before Hermione lost eye contact, caught up in the mass of students leaving the stands. 

***

“And where do you think you’re going?” Ginny said, catching Hermione as she was trying to sneak away from the celebration in the common room to go and meet Bellatrix. 

“I have training.”

“Training?” Ginny’s perplexed expression disappeared and a smug grin replaced it. “Oh, yeah, ‘training’. Getting a proper work out, are we?”

Hermione’s face reddened and she gave Ginny a light shove. 

“Gin! It’s not like that.”

“Oh, I bet you wish it was though,” her friend winked. “Hot and sweaty, so close, oh Prof-” 

Hermione covered Ginny’s mouth with her hand. 

“Shut up!” She hissed, looking around at the crowded room. No one appeared to be listening to them, too busy enjoying their celebration, but she couldn’t be too careful. “That’s not funny, Ginny.”

“Sorry,” Ginny had the grace to look ashamed. “Wasn’t really thinking.”

Hermione shook her head but pulled her friend in for a hug. 

“I’m glad you won, but I really have to go.”

“Of course, go,” Ginny said, rolling her eyes. “Go train hard.”

Hermione slipped down the corridors, heading for the room of requirement. To tease Bellatrix a little, she was wearing her Gryffindor-red hoodie over her usual tank top and leggings. Although she was determined to wind her up and train, Hermione remembered their conversation from earlier in the week as though it were that morning. Perhaps she could actually learn what lay in the forest? She had so many questions; she didn’t really know where to start. But she figured that making Bellatrix comfortable by teasing her first was the best way forward. 

When she got inside, Bellatrix was already there. She was in all black, of course; her usual dress and corset ensemble. How the woman could move the way she did wearing that, Hermione didn’t know. The older woman’s eyes trailed over the hoodie and flashed when she reached Hermione’s smirking face. 

“Good game today,” Hermione started, stepping further into the room and smiling. “Didn’t you think?”

“Oh, so you’re feeling playful, pet?” Bellatrix’s voice was honey and Hermione faltered. She hadn’t quite expected Bellatrix to respond like that. “What a lovely jacket.”

“Hoodie,” Hermione corrected gently, before grinning. “And yes, I rather like the colour, don’t you? Seems like a winning choice.”

Bellatrix scoffed, prowling forward, stepping into Hermione’s personal space easily. 

“What makes you think it’s wise to tease me so close to a loss, pet?”

“Can’t take a little teasing?” Hermione responded, although she was quickly starting to believe she might be in over her head at the moment. 

Bellatrix chuckled darkly and Hermione shivered. The older witch leaned in, brushing her nose against Hermione’s, making the younger woman’s eyelashes flutter. 

“Oh, pet, you really are playing with fire…” A spark hit Hermione in the ass and she jumped, rubbing it. Bellatrix cackled and moved away, bringing out her wand. “Caught unawares, distracted; I thought I’d taught you better than that.”

Hermione growled, although she couldn’t hide her smile and drew her wand, ready to battle. 

An hour later, thoroughly beaten, with her hair plastered to her face having been drenched in a powerful Aguamenti blast, Hermione sagged on to the sofa, shivering. 

“Okay, that was mean.”

“I have no idea what you’re referring to,” Bellatrix grinned, surveying the witch on the sofa with a victorious raised eyebrow. 

“You do.” Hermione shivered again, and pointed her wand towards herself, drying everything. Her tank top stopped sticking to her quite so well and Hermione didn’t think she imagined the slight look of disappointment that crossed Bellatrix’s face. She moved over and gestured for the other woman to join her. “So, are we going to talk about it?”

“Hmmm?” Bellatrix said, lowering herself onto the sofa too and leaning against the back to stare at the other woman. Hermione knew she was teasing her still, but she replied all the same. 

“Well we could talk about how Gryffindor kicked your asses in the match today, but I assume that my ass-kicking is a sign that we shouldn’t.” Bellatrix snorted, amused. Hermione continued. “So, are we going to discuss the dream? What’s in the forest? I have so many questions, I-”

“-Hermione,” Bellatrix murmured, laying her hand on Hermione’s, halting her in her tracks. “I said we’d talk about it. It’s alright.”

Hermione sighed, relieved. 

“It’s just that… I know you didn’t want to tell me. So this must be pretty important for you to change your mind.”

Bellatrix sighed and tucked her legs up underneath her, looking at the woman in front of her. 

“Where to begin?” Her fingers had started tracing patterns on Hermione’s hand which was very distracting for the younger woman, but she attempted to keep her focus on Bellatrix. “Your dreams, for one.”

“What about them?”

“They’re incredibly… realistic,” Bellatrix said, looking down at her fingers tracing over Hermione’s hand. Hermione blushed, remembering the first part of the dream. “As I said, for a moment I thought I was dreaming. Until… well… I wouldn’t continue after an interruption from Minerva, even in my dreams.”

Hermione’s blush deepened even further and she ducked her head, causing Bellatrix to lean forward and lift it again, smirking gently. 

“That is so embarrassing,” Hermione whispered. 

“That I saw what your fantasies do when they collide with dreams?” Bellatrix’s finger stroked Hermione’s jaw soothingly. “We all dream, Hermione. I’m not immune to them. I did say, I thought it might be mine.”

Hermione’s jaw dropped in a light ‘O’. 

“So… you…?”  
“I did tell you that I want you, did I not?”

“Yes.”

“Well then.” Bellatrix leaned back, and Hermione missed the touch of her hand immediately. “I have to admit, it’s the first time that I have seen someone else's dreams without them being right next to me…”

“It is?” Hermione leaned forward, intrigued. “Because I was wondering about that. I mean I know that you can hear thoughts, without even trying, but that seems to be a new level.”

“Yes,” Bellatrix replied, her voice growing softer as she seemed lost in thought for a moment. Hermione was oddly reminded of Luna and the thought made her chuckle. Bellatrix looked at her confused. 

“Sorry, you just… reminded me of someone then, for a moment.”

“I hope it was a compliment?”

“I think so, but I don’t know if you would,” Hermione chuckled with a little smirk. Bellatrix rolled her eyes and leaned in closer. 

“You are in quite the mood today, aren’t you? Does it come from some kind of house spirit? I hadn’t particularly considered you to be a Quidditch fan but it seems the win has had quite the effect.”

“Maybe. Maybe it’s just being around you,” Hermione quipped. “Besides, I do like Quidditch. I’m just not as invested as Harry, Ginny…” her face fell slightly. “Or Ron.”

Bellatrix hummed and her hand cupped Hermione’s jaw, her thumb stroking her cheek gently. 

“Or me?”

Hermione, distracted from melancholy thoughts, pounced on the information. 

“Yes, I had noticed you were invested. Did you play? Or… I suppose, do you?”

“I did. In school. I’ve hardly had the time since, although occasionally the other Professors have a friendly match with some of the villagers from Hogsmeade on the first day of the school holidays, before some of us head home.”

“You… you what?” Somehow the image of some of her Professors playing Quidditch just didn’t sit right in Hermione’s brain. She imagined Professor Flitwick speeding around on a broom, chased by McGonagall and Professor Slughorn and the thought made her laugh out loud. But then her brain slid to Bellatrix, astride a broom, her hair wild around her, and the laughter died in her throat, replaced by a strangled ‘mmm’. Bellatrix looked at her, amused. 

“Yes. Not all of us. Hooch plays; she’s still rather impressive. Sprout is surprisingly good with a bludger.” 

“I would pay to see that,” Hermione grinned.

“Most students would. That’s why we've never told them,” she grinned, giving Hermione a conspiratorial wink. “And you can’t tell them either, or I’ll know where it came from.”

Hermione mimed zipping her lips closed and then leaned into Bellatrix’s space, curious. 

“What position do you play?”

Bellatrix smirked. 

“Oh, that you’ll have to guess. It is not as if there are many positions, after all.” 

Hermione studied her. She could see the case for any of the roles but not for a particular one. Bellatrix was agile, strong, quick thinking… 

“Seeker?” She hazarded a guess. Bellatrix chuckled but didn’t answer, only stroked Hermione’s cheek again, her gaze travelling to her lips. “Or… Chaser?”

“Too many guesses,” Bellatrix murmured, leaning closer. “Maybe one day, you can watch and find out.”

Hermione’s brain stopped working and she could only focus on the light breath of Bellatrix’s lips as they delicately traced hers, before they both leaned in and claimed each other. Bellatrix was warm and soft, pressing into Hermione’s lips as though she were determined to make her shiver in delight. Hermione wrapped her fingers in Bellatrix’s hair and pulled her close, feeling the woman’s hands on her face, her thumbs still stroking. They pulled apart and Bellatrix smiled at Hermione. 

“I can’t deny wanting to do that to you since you walked in, but I had planned to be a little more… persuasive.”

“Hmmm?” Hermione’s eyelashes fluttered and she smiled back. “I think you’re plenty persuasive.”

“I meant that, had we not duelled first, I probably would have been a little more passionate. And you definitely would have shivered ‘in delight’.” 

Hermione blushed; her thoughts had been open during the kiss. Apparently kissing Bellatrix lowered her walls rather quickly, but it was hardly her fault that the older woman could make her forget everything but the taste and feel of her, was it? 

“You are…” Hermione paused, unsure of what to finish the sentence with. 

“Mmm, I know,” Bellatrix leaned in and kissed her once more; a brief one that made Hermione follow her lips when she leaned back, hoping for more. “Weren’t you asking questions? You should really work on how easily distracted you are.”

Hermione gave her a light shove and leaned against the back of the sofa, wishing they could continue. She wished she had the confidence or ability to take control of their kisses more often, but she liked when Bellatrix instigated. The other woman had struggled so much with their budding attraction that it felt good that she was starting these advances. Hermione could quite happily wait a while before starting to instigate more. She doubted she’d be able to stop as well as Bellatrix seemed to; every time they kissed she just wanted to lean further into her. 

Shaking her head, trying to clear it of the thoughts, she realised that she needed to focus, just as Bellatrix had said. Taking a deep breath, she fixed Bellatrix with the look she got when she was trying to discover the answer to an academic question, which made the older woman smile; she’d seen that determined look before.

“We were talking about why you can hear, or see, my dreams at a distance when you usually can only do that when you’re, um… next to them.” Hermione felt a flare of jealousy in her chest but she pushed it aside. Now was not the time. “And then you were talking about what position you played in Quidditch.”

Bellatrix chuckled, shaking her head. 

“I believe I was telling you that you’d have to come see me play to find out.”

“Right. I forgot, because, you know… you kissed me.”

“So I make you forget everything else?” Bellatrix teased her and Hermione blushed. “As for your dreams, there are a number of theories. It is not as though my ability to be so in tune is common in the Wizarding World. I believe muggles have a term… ‘empath’? In my opinion, had I been a muggle I would have been considered one of those. With my powers, I believe it enhanced those skills. It really is the only explanation I can find that makes any sense. With you… I have to admit that there are many reasons why I could have such a strong connection to you. But I am hesitant to put a label on it, especially while we are still…” she trailed off, searching Hermione’s face to check that she understood. “I believe simply that we are connected and similar. You have a strong mind as do I. We are attracted to each other, we feel for each other. It is not entirely impossible that our minds might reach out to each other because of this.”

Hermione hummed, considering the information. She supposed that Bellatrix was right, but she also seemed to be holding back a little. The younger woman considered questioning her further but the look in Bellatrix’s eye told her not to. Whatever Bellatrix was concealing or trying to play down in her explanation, she would tell Hermione in time. Hermione already thought she had a pretty good idea what it might be. 

“Okay,” she replied, nodding. “That makes sense.” Bellatrix hummed, noncommittally, and leaned her head on her hand, her fingers buried in her own wild curls. Hermione wished it was her hand. “So what about the forest?”

Bellatrix tensed, her eyes darkening a little. In what seemed an unconscious reaction, she rotated the shoulder that Hermione had seen injured, when she had first seen the woman transform from a wolf.

“What do you want to know?”


	29. The Creatures in the Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The answers you've been waiting for... and a whole lot of heartbreak.
> 
> Warning for a bit of PTSD Bella.

“Well, what is it? You know I saw that you were injured and apparently one of the Centaurs was injured recently, so I know it has to be something dangerous. But other than the usual ‘don’t enter the Forbidden Forest’ speech, neither McGonagall nor any of the other teachers have said anything about it.”

Bellatrix sighed and shifted in her seat. 

“You’ve been talking to Hagrid, haven’t you? What else did he tell you?”

“Just… just that he’d told you and McGonagall about all the dead animals that he’d found.” Hermione blushed, feeling bad for ratting Hagrid out, even if it was unintentional. “He didn’t tell me what it was or anything; said he didn’t know. He was just explaining why our lesson had changed to Merfolk instead of Centaurs.”

Bellatrix pursed her lips but didn’t look angry. 

“Alright then.” Seeming unable to keep still, Bellatrix stood and began to pace before Hermione and the sofa, which made the younger woman nervous.  
“It’s really bad, isn’t it?”

“It’s… complicated.” Bellatrix stopped and looked down at Hermione. “McGonagall and I are among a very small number of people who are aware of this. The only reason I am telling you is… well, there are several reasons. But the main one is that you are now an animagus and so I know that you will most likely have a better understanding of what I’m about to tell you.”

Hermione crossed her legs, waiting patiently, as Bellatrix resumed her pacing. After a few moments, the older woman stopped again and fixed Hermione with a determined stare. 

“When Fenrir Greyback started turning people to werewolves to fight in Voldermort’s war, he did so without much thought or planning. He turned just about anyone he could and gathered existing werewolves for the cause. But he was a sadistic man and a worse beast and some of those that he turned he tortured. Whether he was in wolf form or human, he took delight in it. But he took it too far one day and he turned a young wizard who was an animagus and tortured him the entire time. He had him change into his animal and tortured him mid-way through his return to human form, using the Cruciatus curse. He…” Bellatrix paused, taking a deep breath, blinking. “He got trapped; you’ve seen what happens if you don’t focus on the change. It’s horrific to see in person. But then Greyback bit him. I believe that something fractured in the man’s brain, as though it couldn’t hold the wolf, his creature and who he was. Once you become a werewolf, you lose your animagus but the boy was stuck between the two already and the wolf just…”

Bellatrix grew silent, her fists clenched. Then with a snarl she shot a curse at the training dummy on the other side of the room, obliterating it. Hermione jumped. Bellatrix turned her eyes back to her, filled with sorrow and Hermione’s fear faded. She stood slowly and walked over to Bellatrix, reaching out to her, stopping, until Bellatrix leaned in and wrapped her arms around Hermione. 

“Once he’d created this… monster… Greyback was convinced that they would be the key. They started rounding up people who were Animagi. There aren’t many, as you know. There are less now, I suppose. Five successful… creations, for Greyback’s mad scheme. Voldermort was thrilled.” Bellatrix’s voice was bitter and filled with hate against Hermione, who gently stroked Bellatrix’s back, hoping to soothe her. “They had them in cages, separate ones; when they crammed them together they ripped each other to shreds.” 

Hermione shuddered and Bellatrix stiffened, her arms tightening around the younger woman’s waist. 

“You saw… what they did? What they looked like?”

“Yes,” Bellatrix’s voice was hollow and Hermione tightened her arms, afraid that the woman was falling apart, as if by holding her closer she could prevent it. “They were so… pitiful.”  
She pulled back and looked at Hermione, trails of tears marking her usually smooth cheeks. Hermione raised her hand tentatively and placed it on her jaw, wiping away the tear tracks with her thumb like Bellatrix had done for her before. 

“They survived?”

“The torture? The transformations? Yes, if you can call that surviving. The transformation, that first full moon… it was horrific. I wouldn’t watch, I stayed away, feigning disgust for half breed experiments. Everyone knew I hated Greyback; it wasn’t too much of a leap. But the screams…” She faltered and looked away from Hermione, her eyes haunted as though visions of the night were racing through her mind. “He did it all on a full moon, you see. Torture, biting… they never stood a chance. He used to strut around as though he was Voldermort’s right hand after that. So disgustingly filled with pride over what he had created. They were monsters. The transformation broke them beyond repair. I tried, I have tried…” She broke off in another shudder and tears leaked down her face again. Her arms folded across her stomach and Hermione watched as Bellatrix pulled away from her; physically and emotionally. She was shutting down and Hermione remained frozen, unsure of how to help. “They don’t transform on the moon. They’re permanently stuck between wolf and… whatever they became before. They’re animals; protective of their territory, ruthless hunters. But on and around the full moon they become mad. I believe the wolf is still fighting to be dominant but since it’s already there…”

“Those poor people…” Hermione murmured, feeling sick. She held a hand over her stomach, hoping it would pass, but she felt as though she would retch right there. Bellatrix’s eyes slid to her, filled with loathing. 

“They’re not people anymore.”

Hermione was shocked and stared at the other woman until she saw Bellatrix’s jaw wobble, her eyes losing that hardness and faltering. 

“You don’t mean that.”

“Don’t I?” Bellatrix was bitter, but she seemed mournful too. 

“You’ve been trying to help them.”

Bellatrix sighed and pulled her arms tighter around herself, looking at the sofa. 

“Yes.”

“Then-”

“-Yes, alright,” Bellatrix snapped and then looked regretful, raising her hands in apology. “I… I have tried. I keep trying. But there’s nothing I can do. I’ve tried everything. They’re nothing but monsters now, Hermione. There’s no humanity left in them. If I could just have done something back before…”

“You blame yourself.” There was no doubting the guilt in Bellatrix; it was practically oozing from her. “You think you could have stopped it.”

“I could have!” She snapped, whirling to look at Hermione again. “Of course I could have. I could have freed them, helped them escape. They were right there and I could have…”

“If you’d freed them, they’d have known you were a spy. They’d have known someone there was a spy.”

“Oh please, as if he’d have suspected me. His most faithful, loyal subject,” Bellatrix spat, but she didn’t sound convinced. 

“You were protecting yourself, your mission.”

“And how selfish is that?” Bellatrix’s bitterness was overwhelming and Hermione could feel it so tangibly she almost thought she could taste it in her mouth; as bitter as the mandrake leaf she had kept under her tongue. “They didn’t even die; they’re out there, constantly tortured, because I had a mission. Because I had to protect myself.”

“Bella…” Hermione’s voice sounded strangled, she was choking on how heartbreaking it was to see, to hear, Bellatrix going through this. To think of these poor creatures, no longer human, not even half human… “You made the right decision. You saved so many people doing what you did. And I know that doesn’t wipe out the guilt you’re feeling about these people but you’re still trying. You’ve been trying to right that wrong and that doesn’t just make you a good person, it makes you an incredible one.”

Bellatrix glanced at her, her arms still wrapped around her waist, as Hermione took a step closer, reaching out for her gently. 

“I’m not-” Bellatrix cut herself off, looking warily at Hermione, who faltered in her steps. “I’m not a good person.”

“Yes, you are-” Hermione jerked forward and Bellatrix actively shied away. Hermione stopped again, her heart beating fast. “Bella…”

“Don’t.”

“But-”  
“-Don’t, Granger!” Bellatrix spat and Hermione flinched, stepping back. Oh, that had hurt. Bellatrix was vibrating with emotion, her eyes darkening, looking almost wild. Hermione was reminded of her wolf eyes; how she had imagined they would look when hunting. She was a sight to see; dangerous eyes, wild hair and something in her that seemed… Hermione gasped. Bellatrix looked a little as she had when she’d been playing the part of Voldermort’s madly devoted follower. 

Hermione knew she had been shielding her thoughts, but it seemed as though her expression was all Bellatrix had needed to see what Hermione did. It appeared to be the last straw and the woman dragged in a rough, heart-wrenching sob, her hand tightening around her wand. 

“Get out!” Hermione hesitated, frozen to the spot, her mouth falling open in a silent protest. Bellatrix shrieked. “Get out!”

The sofa exploded and the sight of the stuffing cascading down between the two of them was enough to make Hermione move. She dashed for the door as another practice dummy exploded. 

Closing the door behind her, Hermione sagged against it, gasping. She had not seen Bellatrix like that before, not really. She had seen her play mad before she knew she’d been acting but seeing her lose control in person was something that shook her. She raised her wand, sending a message, then slumped down to the floor and began to cry. 

Professor McGonagall arrived five minutes later, when Hermione’s sobs had faded and left her feeling empty, aside from the painful ache in her chest. The older woman took one look at her and hurried the rest of the way down the corridor, crouching in front of her. 

“Hermione, what is it?”

“Bella… Professor Black. She’s inside. She’s not well.”

McGonagall’s face clouded and she glanced at the door behind Hermione. 

“What happened?”

So Hermione gave McGonagall the short version of what had transpired. She had almost expected the older witch to be angry but she just looked… sad. She sent off for Madam Pomfrey, giving her Patronus a message to ‘bring the vial for Professor Black’, which filled Hermione with a sense of foreboding. Had this happened before? She remembered what Andy had said when she left the Burrow after Christmas, about her sister destroying the shrubbery. Perhaps it really had happened before. If so… what was in the vial?

“You should perhaps go back to bed, Miss Granger,” McGonagall said, surveying Hermione, who figured that she looked a mess. 

“I…” Hermione hesitated, not wanting to give away the nature of her and Bellatrix’s relationship, although she had an idea that McGonagall already suspected. “I’d rather stay, if that’s alright Professor? I want to make sure she’s okay.”

“Well, I would think-” McGonagall stopped as Madam Pomfrey arrived, practically running down the corridor. 

“What has she destroyed now… Oh, Miss Granger. What are you doing here?”

“Miss Granger, in her role as Head Girl, reported the disturbance in the Room of Requirement,” Professor McGonagall said swiftly, hurrying the other member of staff towards the door. She turned to survey Hermione. “You may stay, but I would like a word with you after we deal with this.”

Hermione nodded and lined up behind the other women, as McGonagall opened the door. 

The room was destroyed. Every object appeared to have been smashed or thrown and there was a layer of furniture stuffing over everything. Hermione blinked, looking around for Bellatrix, expecting to find her ready to attack. Instead, they all saw her on the ground, in the corner of the room, her arms above her head. Only her pale hands caught their attention; the black of her hair and dress would have kept her hidden for a while in the dark room. 

Madam Pomfrey moved tentatively towards the woman in the corner, crouching down close to, but not touching, Bellatrix and murmuring to her. Bellatrix’s whole body flinched, but then seemed to settle into deep, silent sobs that shook her shoulders. 

Hermione winced, looking at the pitiful figure, wishing she could rush forward and comfort her. She knew that if she did, she might very well set Bellatrix off again. McGonagall stood calmly beside her and both watched as Madam Pomfrey managed to succeed in handing Bellatrix a vial. Bellatrix’s head rose, she swallowed the potion and then her eyes landed on Hermione. 

They seemed hollow, dead, and Hermione couldn’t help the tears that welled in her eyes once more as they stared into her. She held the gaze until Bellatrix’s eyes fluttered and she lay her head back on her knees. Madam Pomfrey looked at McGonagall and nodded. 

“What did you give her?” Hermione asked, stepping forward as McGonagall did the same. Both of the witches glanced at each other and McGonagall nodded. Madam Pomfrey, looking a little surprised, turned to face Hermione again. 

“It’s a sedative of sorts, Miss Granger. Makes her sleep, calms her down. It’s my own creation. I’ve used it on too many people after the war.”

Madam Pomfrey’s mouth set in a hard line at the last part of her statement and Hermione felt the memories of the full hospital wing creeping back to her. While they had waited for St. Mungos healers to come and assist, students had assisted Madam Pomfrey in looking after those injured. Hermione could still remember the stench of blood, pain and loss, coupled with the wails from those left behind or the moans of those still clinging to life. 

She flinched when McGonagall put her hand on her shoulder.

“Come, Miss Granger. Madam Pomfrey will take Professor Black back to her quarters and make sure she sleeps. We must talk.”

Hermione watched as Madam Pomfrey lifted Bellatrix with a spell and moved her out of the room; she and McGonagall followed after. They parted ways near Bellatrix’s rooms and Hermione took one last look at the floating figure of Bellatrix before following McGonagall towards the Headmistress’ office. 

“Feline,” the older witch said to the gargoyle before stepping on to the stairs and gesturing for Hermione to join her. They entered the rooms in silence and then McGonagall stopped, gesturing to the seats in front of the lit, crackling fire. “Take a seat, Miss Granger.” 

Hermione sat nervously, waiting for McGonagall to give that stern look she had gotten so used to when her, Harry and Ron had gotten into one scrape or another during their years at the school. She knew the woman wasn’t stupid; she must suspect something was going on, and she already knew that Bellatrix had been talking about the creatures in the forest when she had had her breakdown. Hermione wondered if she should say something first, perhaps apologise in advance, but McGonagall sat down opposite her and fixed her with a look that told her not to. 

“Miss Granger, you know that I am not someone to be lied to, so I expect honest answers to the questions I am going to ask you, do you understand?” Hermione nodded, twisting her fingers together. “Very well. What were you and Bellatrix doing in the Room of Requirement this evening?”

“Training,” Hermione answered and watched as McGonagall’s eyebrow rose. “I promise; Bel- Professor Black has been giving me extra training. She said that despite my history, I’m still more book smarts than battle smarts. She’s been teaching me the practical side.”

“And exactly how did this arrangement come about?”

Hermione blanched; she didn’t know if McGonagall knew that Bellatrix was an Animagi and she had promised not to tell anyone. Plus there was now the other secret that she was also one. 

“I saw her emerging from the woods,” she replied carefully. “She’d been injured. I pressed her for information and she wouldn’t tell me what was in there, but promised to teach me if I kept my mouth shut about what I’d seen.”

It was the truth, just an abbreviated version. Hermione hoped it would be enough. She knew that McGonagall knew about the creatures after all. 

“So you saw her wolf form,” Professor McGonagall added and Hermione’s eyes flew wide. “Did you really think I wouldn’t know about that? Come, Miss Granger, there is very little that goes on in this school that I am not aware of.”

Hermione heard a quiet chuckle from over near the Headmistress’ desk and glanced over. The portrait of Dumbledore seemed still; the man appeared to be sleeping. Hermione narrowed her eyes and saw his own flutter a little during a snore that seemed a little unrealistic. She smiled and returned to facing Professor McGonagall. 

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure if you did and it wasn’t my secret to tell.”

McGonagall gave her an approving once over before flicking her wand at a teapot sitting on the table. It began to steam. 

“Tea?” Hermione nodded and the older witch served two cups before continuing. “So, you blackmailed Bellatrix. Not many people could get away with that with their memory intact.”

“Well I… I wouldn’t call it blackmail. But Bel- I mean Professor Black-”

“- Oh, please, Miss Granger. Dispense with the charade, won’t you? It has become quite clear that you are used to calling Bellatrix by her first name when outside the classroom.” Hermione blushed and took a sip of tea to compose herself. McGonagall watched her over the rim of her own cup. “I suppose I should be glad that you are training together, rather than using the room for another purpose?”

Hermione almost choked on her tea and tried to look at least a little puzzled when McGonagall’s eyebrow raised. 

“What… um… What other purpose?”

McGonagall looked almost amused, although the stern eyebrow was raised even further and her lips pursed.   
“Miss Granger, your acting skills really do require a little work. Perhaps that is what Bellatrix should be teaching you.” Hermione’s blush deepened and she put down the cup, ready to beg for forgiveness, for Bellatrix’s job, whatever was needed. “I first suspected that night I found you in the entrance hall, but I couldn’t be sure. The ball however, that was when I was sure.”

“Uh… sure of what?”

McGonagall rolled her eyes and put down the cup, sitting up straighter in her chair. 

“I can’t pretend to be thrilled by the idea, given that you are still a student. As Headmistress, it is my job to deal with this sort of behaviour and tell you that under no circumstances should this be allowed to continue under this roof.” Hermione winced and looked down at her hands in her lap, taking a deep breath. She felt disappointed, although she wasn’t surprised by McGonagall’s statement. What else could she have said really? “However…” Hermione’s head shot up. “You are an adult and had there been no interruption to your studies you would be out in the working world. You had that option as it was, given your part in the war. Add to that your adventure with the time-turner… it still does not excuse the relationship, you understand, but at least it makes it legal.”

“It’s not a… well… we said we wouldn’t do anything while I was in school,” Hermione blurted out, unable to keep quiet any longer. 

“Yes, and I’m sure you’re both doing an admirable job,” McGonagall seemed stern but Hermione saw the little twitch of her lips that meant the woman was holding back a smile. “I urge you to both stick to that arrangement. I would hate for anyone to notice the relationship, as I have, although I assume that at least Miss Weasley is aware. I’ve seen her watching you both.”

Hermione was so flushed at this point that she wasn’t sure the fire was needed. She could probably heat the entire room. 

“She knows how I feel, yes. But she doesn’t know about… well, anything else. About Bellatrix being a wolf, or the creatures, aside from that there’s something in the forest that is killing animals and attacking Centaurs.”

McGonagall pursed her lips. 

“Is it written somewhere that you must have a Weasley and a dark-haired, impossible, rule flouter next to you to get through a year here, Hermione?”

Hermione laughed in spite of herself and she saw McGonagall’s lips twitch several times before the woman picked up her tea again, taking a sip. 

“I guess it must be, Professor.”

“Well, I will only say this once and I shall deny it if you tell anyone,” McGonagall said, shooting her a wink over the cup of tea. “But I think you’ll be good for each other. This evening aside, you seem to have had a positive effect on Bellatrix and I think she may have also had one on you, against all odds.”

She said it fondly, but it still reminded Hermione that Bellatrix had suffered this evening. Her face dropped. 

“I wish I could have helped her more this evening.”

“You did what you could and believe me, I’ve seen her worse. Both Madam Pomfrey and I have dealt with worse.” McGonagall put down her tea and leaned forward a little, catching Hermione’s attention. “Do not blame yourself, Miss Granger, that will do no good at all. Concentrate on the things between the two of you that help her and help you. She seems… happy. I haven’t seen her that way since I was teaching her in school.”

Hermione smiled a little, grateful to hear that Bellatrix was showing a noticeable difference. 

“That’s good to hear. I do care for her. A lot.”

“I can see that.” McGonagall frowned, sitting up straighter. “But you realise that I cannot condone any inappropriate behaviour while you are still a student at this school? Until your exams are finished, Miss Granger, I don’t want to see or hear of anything happening under this roof that goes beyond… Well, let us say friendship, shall we? It would do more harm than good to forbid you to spend any time with each other; I know you both and I know that would only encourage you both more.”

“I promise, Professor. Under this roof, no more inappropriate behaviour.” Professor McGonagall’s eyebrow raised and Hermione reddened again, realising that she had just admitted to there having been some. “Um, I mean… nothing has happened, not like that, I mean-”

“Yes, I understand, Miss Granger. No need to labour the explanation.” McGonagall rearranged her robes, huffing. “Now that we have discussed that, I suppose you want to discuss those creatures that are living in the forest?”

Hermione nodded. 

“She told me how they came to be… the way they are. That she’s been trying to help them.”

“Yes, well…” McGonagall pursed her lips once more. “Ms Black has always been one to shoulder the weight of the world. I assume you know why she does this in her wolf form?”

Hermione’s brow furrowed. 

“No, she didn’t mention why.” Her mind started working, thinking hard. “But I assume it has something to do with werewolves being calmed by other animals? Not being able to turn animals? It’s a form of protection, right?”

“Yes, I suppose. You are quite right that werewolf bites have no effect on animals and so being in animal form is safest. Bellatrix being a wolf is almost ironic; she’s gotten closer to them than I believe most would. I believe that it is possible that they see an almost kindred spirit in her, or they did. She thought she had gotten close enough to them that she would be able to try a spell, rather than slipping potions to them inside animal carcasses. She transformed and they… well. They do not take kindly to humans. I don’t believe she would have escaped had she not been such a talented witch. As it was, she ended up killing one of them to get out. It had her by the neck, just after she had transformed back to her wolf form to escape. She tells me she got it by the throat and felt it die…” McGonagall trailed off, noticing how distressed Hermione was. “I apologise, Miss Granger, I’ve said too much.”

“No!” Hermione leaned forward. “I’m sorry, I just… I know she feels that she’s responsible. That she could have saved them before… It must have hurt her so badly to have to kill one.”

“I’m afraid it is the only option now,” McGonagall said, crossing her fingers in her lap. “The others won’t let her near anymore; I imagine that the night you saw her she had gone back to try again, foolish woman. We can’t save them; there has never been a successful attempt to fix anything remotely like this and even if we could, they are too dangerous to be near. The best we could have hoped for is possibly removing their animagus part but there is no guarantee that they wouldn’t still be stuck between human and wolf.”

“Have you seen them, Professor?” Hermione asked tentatively. “Do you know what they look like?”

“Yes, Miss Granger.” McGonagall’s eyes filled with sadness; she was seemingly more aged in the firelight as it danced across the lines of her face. “I have seen them. I can pity them with Ms Black, but I also know what she knows. These creatures should never have been created and I imagine that they would thank us for ending their suffering, if we can. I have never, in all my years, seen such a thing.”

“What… What do they look like? Please, tell me.” Hermione found herself saying, although from the pictures of failed Animagi transformations and having seen Lupin transform into a wolf, she could imagine many terrible things without help. Professor McGonagall hesitated. 

“The only way I could describe them is to say that each looks as though they have been splinched, mid transformation. I know that you are well studied on the subjects of Animagi and Werewolves, Miss Granger. I’m afraid your imagination can do a better job of painting a picture than I could.”

Hermione grimaced, knowing that was probably true. Perhaps her dreams had not been so far off; she imagined a great, hulking, deformed wolf standing over an injured Bellatrix and gripped the chair, shaking her head to chase the image out. 

“Why did we not see any of them during the war? Where were they?”

“To the best of our knowledge, they were released and Greyback expected them to follow him into the castle. I would hazard a guess that they were scared by the sounds of battle and escaped deep into the woods instead. They don’t appear to have any wish to come near the school, in fact they actively stay away. Unfortunately, it appears that they are only getting more vicious; Ms Black and I believe that the longer they roam like animals, the more they lose any part of them that might still be human. We’re concerned that this increase in attacks on animals and now the Centaurs means that they will get bolder, come closer to the school and that the students will then be in danger. I imagine that is why she felt the need to tell you; she knows you’d be more likely to head into the forest looking for an answer than wait for her to give it.”

Hermione felt a tear trickle down her cheek. Yes, Bellatrix knew her well.

“Why would she try to deal with that alone? Especially when she was so outnumbered!”

“You know why, Miss Granger. You told me so yourself. She believes that she is responsible for them. She knew that if the Ministry was called in they would be killed immediately; treated like animals and reminders of Voldermort’s almost victory. She wanted to have every chance to save them, give some semblance of their life back, if she could.”

Hermione wiped away another tear that was falling and nodded. Yes, that sounded very much like Bellatrix. 

“Any other questions, Miss Granger?” McGonagall said, kindly, standing. Hermione shook her head, realising that this was the end of their conversation. “Very well, I think it’s a good idea if you head to bed now. It’s been a long night.”

Hermione nodded and got up, heading to the door. She paused at it, looking back. 

“Thank you, Professor. For everything.”

McGonagall’s eyes crinkled as she gave Hermione a rare, fond smile. 

“Miss Granger, might I offer you some advice?” Hermione nodded, waiting patiently as the older woman folded her fingers in front of her and raised her eyebrow. “You and Bellatrix have both spent a large part of your lives so far chasing after things that have caused you a great amount of sorrow, all for the good of the wizarding world. I would suggest that you start looking to spend more time chasing things that give you a great amount of happiness, instead. Don’t let hurt become a regular influence on your life just because it might help others in the long run. There has to be some happiness, to balance out the pain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, not often I leave notes at the bottom but I couldn't put anything at the top! I hope you... is 'enjoyed' the right word for a chapter filled with things that I hope made your heart ache? I hope I've done it justice for everyone. Let me know what you think. More to come on Bellatrix's history, the creatures etc. But for now, that's me. 
> 
> And yes, it's a huge chapter. I had to do them justice. Plus writing sprints on my Discord server are largely to blame; most of this chapter and the last were created during them. <3 So nice to have a growing community of creative people supporting each other.


	30. A Little Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellatrix is dealing with the aftermath of the night before and so is Hermione.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's going to be tough for a while, we know this, right? Good. Just prepping you. Enjoy.
> 
> Thanks for being so brilliant. Let me know if you're reading these notes as well; I'm never sure if the ones at the beginning get picked up as much as when I leave them at the end.

Hermione hadn’t really slept, although that was to be expected. Her dreams were filled with distorted creatures, howling under a full moon, stalking towards her with their eyes fixed on her throat. She had cried out for Bellatrix, terrified, but neither the woman, nor the wolf, appeared. The creatures leapt on her and she screamed as they tore at her, ripping her to shreds. She lay bleeding on the floor and her eyes caught sight of another figure lying near her. Bellatrix, half way through her transformation, still, staring at Hermione with dead, glassy eyes, covered in blood. 

When she woke, still screaming, Hermione found she was on the cold, stone floor of her room, tangled in her covers and thrashing to escape. She scuttled back, freeing herself, and wrapped her arms around her knees, her back pressed against the stone wall. She could feel tears, cold and wet against her cheeks as they dried in the cool air. She wiped at them, trying to get rid of the bite of them as she fought to get her breathing under control. Everything inside her was screaming to run and check if Bellatrix was okay, but the surfacing memories of the previous night held her back. 

Would Bellatrix want her space? Or would she want to see Hermione, see that she hadn’t scared her away? Hermione wasn’t sure and she knew that in a situation like this, as delicate as this was, that the wrong decision might push Bellatrix further away. 

She remained on the floor, debating the right course of action and trying to push the still tangible fear that stayed wrapped around her from the dream, out of her mind. It was only when the stiffness, gained from sitting on and against cold, hard stone, began to hurt, that she moved, slowly stretching out the cramped muscles and deciding to go to the Prefect’s bathroom before breakfast, to wash away the night. 

Carrying her clothes and wash bag, Hermione slipped through the Gryffindor Common Room. It was early enough that there were only a few people awake, all of whom looked as though they had dragged themselves out of bed on the promise of breakfast alone. Most were in the same year as she was, preparing themselves for exams. Hermione’s heart rate picked up. Only a few months until her exams and then her time in school would be over. Would she and Bellatrix still be together then? Were they even together now?   
Hermione frowned, pushing the thoughts from her mind as she hurried down the corridor, desperate to relax into warm, scented water and try to wash the troubles away. Her shoulders felt tight and tense and she rolled them as she walked, trying to release some of the pressure. She sighed in relief when she entered the Prefects bathroom to find that it was empty. Turning on her favourite taps, she waited as the water poured into the giant bath, staring up at the mermaid in the window, who ignored her. 

Bubbles formed on the surface of the water, filling the air with a soft, sweet scent of oranges, vanilla and cinnamon, the latter of which she had added in as an afterthought. She breathed it in, the cinnamon reminding her of Bellatrix, mixing with some of her favourite scents and it made her sigh. 

Slipping into the water she moaned as the heat welcomed her and let her hands reach into the bubbles, watching them pop, leaving a light film on her fingers. Pushing further into the water, she floated on her back, letting the scent fill her nose and the bubbles collect in her hair. She felt her body relaxing and tried to clear her mind, determined for a moment of peace. 

The memory of Bellatrix, huddled in the corner, so defeated and even scared, floated through Hermione’s mind and she gasped, almost inhaling scented water as she struggled to stand. Choking a little, she coughed and treaded water, watching as the mermaid in the window laughed at her. She narrowed her eyes at it and swam over to the side of the bath, dragging herself out and grabbing a towel to wrap around her as she sat on the edge, her toes in the water. Her hair stuck to her cheeks and neck and she shivered a little and wrapped the towel closer around her. 

_Bellatrix_. She hadn’t even checked the map to see if her footprints were in her rooms. She hadn’t gone to see her. _Why_? 

_Because I’m scared_. 

She frowned and kicked at the water, irritated. She shouldn’t be scared. What was there even to be scared of? She’d seen Bellatrix worse; she’d been scared of her when she was manically following Voldermort. Harry had seen her in the tower, as Snape had killed Dumbledore. He had told her that she had looked every bit as mad as Rita Skeeter claimed she was. Hermione had also seen her, at the final battle, when she had appeared at Voldermort’s side as Hagrid carried a supposedly dead Harry to be viewed by everyone inside Hogwarts. 

But she’d also seen her change. She had watched as she’d stood cackling on pieces of stone as Voldermort pronounced his victory. She had seen her hesitate to cackle quite so loudly when Neville stepped forward. She had seen the way she had stopped laughing all together when it was revealed that Harry wasn’t dead. Then she had seen Bellatrix moving forward, through the chaos and for a moment, Hermione had thought that she would kill McGonagall. But the older witch merely nodded at her and then Bellatrix had turned around and started shooting curses at the Death Eaters. 

Voldermort’s scream of fury had been impossible to forget. Hermione had not gotten the sound of it out of her ears for months; it had been in every one of her nightmares. But that look of triumphant joy on Bellatrix’s face when she was finally free of her lie, of her role and could fight openly on the side that she had belonged to all along. That look had been imprinted in Hermione’s mind whenever she saw the older witch during the rebuild of Hogwarts. She had known, seeing that look, even in the briefest of glances during the chaos of battle, that Bellatrix had been through something unimaginable to get to where she was. She had recognised that feeling after the battle was done, when they were finally free of Voldermort. She had felt that freedom. 

Hermione sighed, lifting her head from her knees and staring at the water in front of her. The bubbles had almost completely gone and as she dipped her toe in she realised that the water was more lukewarm than hot. Still, she slipped back into the water, washing herself properly and trying to refocus. 

_Why am I scared then?_

It came to her as she was wrapping the towel around her having finished in the bath. The reason she was scared to see if Bellatrix was alright was that she was terrified that Bellatrix wouldn’t want her anymore. That Bellatrix would have seen that look in her eyes when she had not known what to do and think that Hermione was safer away from her. That Bellatrix would push her away again. 

She dried off and dressed hurriedly, not pausing to dry her hair before running down the corridors towards Bellatrix’s rooms. She couldn’t give Bellatrix space; if she did Bellatrix would definitely think Hermione was running from her and Hermione couldn’t have that. She didn’t want Bellatrix to pull away. She wanted her to open up. She wanted her to open up to her. 

She hesitated outside the door for only a second, wondering if the other woman would be awake yet or even in a position to receive her. But she knocked anyway. She couldn’t wait. She had to make sure she was okay. 

There was no answer. She knocked again and then pressed her ear against the door, wondering if the woman was actually there. Perhaps Madam Promfrey had taken her to the Infirmary instead? There was a slight noise from the otherside of the wooden door and Hermione froze. No, she’d definitely heard movement. She knocked again. 

“Who is it?” 

To anyone that didn’t know her, Bellatrix’s voice might have sounded irritable and like she’d just woken up. To Hermione, it sounded like she hadn’t slept and was hoping that whoever was at her door would just leave her alone. She took a breath. 

“It’s me, Bella. Open up?”

There was a pause and then the door opened slowly, just enough for Bellatrix to peer through the gap with one eye. It looked red and bloodshot and Hermione felt her heart clench.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to check on you,” Hermione murmured, leaning closer to the gap. “Will you let me in?”

Bellatrix hesitated, scanning Hermione up and down with her eye before stepping back and opening the door a little wider. Hermione slipped through and Bellatrix immediately closed the door behind her. 

The room was dark and the fire was lit. Bellatrix hesitated by the door and then slipped past Hermione, heading to the sofa where she appeared to have been laid, as there was a blanket there. A bottle of Firewhiskey stood on the table nearby, but the young witch was pleasantly surprised to see that it hadn’t been opened. Hermione realised for the first time that Bellatrix was in the pyjamas that she had worn at the Burrow and had the jumper that Mrs Weasley had knitted her on over the top. It made her smile and she followed Bellatrix, who had climbed onto the sofa and had her arms wrapped around her knees which were tucked under her chin; the blanket over her legs. Hermione hesitated and then sat on the other end of the sofa, as she had all those months ago when she had fixed Bellatrix’s injuries. Oh, what different wounds she could see now. 

“Why?” Bellatrix asked, peering at her over her knees, tension obviously filling her body. 

“Why, what?” Hermione asked gently, mirroring her position on the sofa and leaning her chin on her own knees. 

“Why did you come to check on me?”

“Because I care about you.”

Bellatrix’s brow furrowed and she looked confused. 

“Why?”

Hermione bit her lip.

“How could I not? I’ve told you how I feel. Of course I care about you.”

“After last night… after what I did…” Bellatrix trailed off and shook her head, looking down at her feet. “How could you see me the same way?”

“Bella, I saw you playing the role of Voldermort’s right hand. I saw the duel between you and Harry when he called you mad. I saw the way that you reacted when I made that comment in the stone circle. I saw last night and I’m still here. Doesn’t that tell you something?”

Bellatrix drew in a breath, hissing. 

“You’re not safe around me.”

“Yes I am.”

“No.”

“Yes-”

“-No!” Bellatrix rocked forward onto her knees so fast that it made Hermione jump a little, as the older woman’s left arm came to rest on the back of the sofa and her right hand gripped the arm rest behind Hermione. “You’re not safe.”

Hermione waited for Bellatrix’s eyes to relax a little before slowly, and in full view of Bellatrix, moving her hand towards Bellatrix’s face. The older woman watched it warily, even flinched as it got near her but she didn’t move away. Hermione let it hover, not touching Bellatrix and fixed her with a determined look. 

“You are safe with me and I am safe with you. I can handle myself.”

Bellatrix’s eyes narrowed and she searched Hermione’s face. So Hermione did the only thing that she could think to do and lowered the barrier around her mind. She made sure to not push her thoughts towards the other woman too strongly, but simply went over the feeling she had felt as she ran towards her rooms. She saw Bellatrix’s eyes flash with recognition and skate over Hermione’s face before resting on her eyes. Hermione remembered the feeling of needing to see Bellatrix, of needing to be with her and not let her pull away.

She put her walls back up after a few moments and waited until Bellatrix stopped holding her breath before letting her hand come to rest on the other woman’s cheek. Bellatrix started but after a few seconds she moved a little closer and embraced the touch, if only for a few moments. Hermione stroked her thumb over the other woman’s cheekbone and then Bellatrix withdrew, settling herself back into position at the other end of the sofa. 

They sat in silence for some time, Hermione alternating between watching Bellatrix and staring into the fire to give her some space. After a few moments she saw Bellatrix shifting out of the corner of her eye and looked back at her to see the woman looking at her curiously. 

“Your hair is wet.”

Hermione chuckled. She touched at her hair, which was drying slightly with the fire being so near, but was still plastered to her in places. She ran her fingers through it, trying to get it to look decent. 

“Yes. I had a bath.”

“You smell like oranges and…” Bellatrix trailed off, her brow furrowing. Hermione waited and then, when Bellatrix remained unsure, beckoned her over. Bellatrix looked hesitant but she moved a little closer, inhaling.   
“Cinnamon?” She said, seemingly a little surprised. It was not a question of whether that was what she had smelled, more a curiosity about why it had been chosen. 

“I had a bath in the Prefect’s bathroom. Orange and vanilla is my go to but cinnamon reminds me of you, so I added some.” Hermione blushed and looked down at her knees again before looking back at the fire. She could feel Bellatrix’s gaze on her and it made her shiver. After a few moments, she dared to glance at her. Bellatrix’s eyes were intent, maybe slightly wary, but nevertheless intrigued. 

“I smell of cinnamon to you?”

Hermione nodded, pleased that Bellatrix seemed to have been distracted from whatever path her mind had been on when Hermione first entered. 

“And pine, woodsmoke and parchment,” she finished, deciding not to mention that sometimes these were coupled with firewhiskey. Bellatrix’s brows remained furrowed and Hermione wondered if she’d said something wrong. The older woman looked into the fire again, as if she were trying to work something out. 

“What are you doing here, Hermione?”

“What do you-”

“Why are you in my rooms? Why not wait until...”

“I wanted to make sure you were alright,” Hermione replied, sensing the return of Bellatrix’s attempts to push her away. “It didn’t feel right; not coming to see you.”

Bellatrix rearranged the blanket wrapped around her legs and frowned even deeper. 

“You know, McGonagall came to see me. She told me that…” she trailed off and winced. 

“That she knew about us and doesn’t want us doing anything in Hogwarts until my exams are over?” Hermione finished, shifting a little and watching how Bellatrix’s eyes flew to her as soon as she moved. “She told me, last night. Apparently she’s known for a while.”

Bellatrix winced again, her hands reaching up to run through her hair at the scalp as her forehead came to rest on her knees. 

“We keep breaking our promise,” she said, a muffled voice from under all that hair. “We said we wouldn’t but neither of us seem to be able to…”

“No, you’re right,” Hermione admitted. “We don’t. But we can still spend time together. She said that she could accept a friendship of sorts. I’m not willing to give up spending time with you, Bella. I can’t.”

Bellatrix’s head lifted a little and she pushed the hair out of her eyes, peering at Hermione again. 

“I’m not good for you, Hermione.” Her voice was so quiet, so defeated, that for a moment Hermione’s heart broke. Then Bellatrix seemed to pull herself together. Her tone became brisk and sharp, her face a broken mask; unable to fully hide what she was feeling. “It’s better if we don’t… this probably wouldn’t have gone anywhere anyway.”

Hermione felt a lump in her throat as she shook her head. 

“Don’t do that, Bella. I know what you’re feeling. I know you want to push me away, but you can’t-”

“-Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do!” Bella cried, ripping the blanket from her legs and standing up, moving towards the fire and then turning back to look at Hermione. “Don’t tell me what I feel. I should have known, shouldn’t have stopped resisting. Look at you, Hermione. You could do so much. If you wait around for me you’ll be tied down; you’ll spend half your time with a broken… I saw how you looked at me last night. Is that how you want to feel, for the rest of your life? Is that who you want to wake up to? Someone who could destroy you in her sleep if she had a nightmare? Someone who can tear a room to shreds if she gets upset?”

Hermione had stood and was debating whether to rush to Bellatrix and hold her or stay back; she wasn’t sure which would work best. Bellatrix saw the hesitation and a dark, despairing laugh burst from her lips. Hermione ached with the pain in it. 

“Bella… you’re basing this on one bad night!” She stepped forward, her hands outstretched and Bellatrix shrunk away. Hermione paused and tried again, staying where she was but holding out her hand, silently asking Bellatrix to come to her. “You’re basing this on one night where I didn’t know that it was coming. I don’t know the signs yet. I can learn. I want to help. I want to be there for you when you feel like that. I want you to-”

“-You can’t possibly want that? Who would? Nobody wants to be with someone who is broken.”

“Well you’re the only one who thinks you’re broken, Bella!” Hermione snapped back. “Because I think you’re fucking incredible and I won’t have you telling me what I do or do not want! That goes both ways, okay?”

Bellatrix pressed forward, her eyes dark. 

“You think you know everything, don’t you?”

“No.” Hermione glared back, defiant. “But on this I’m damn well certain.”

They both breathed heavily, glaring at each other, until Hermione saw Bellatrix’s eyes beginning to fill with tears. She reached forward, gently and put a hand on Bellatrix’s arm. When the woman didn’t pull away, Hermione slowly wrapped her arms around her waist and held her. Bellatrix stood stiffly, though Hermione could feel her chest rising and falling quickly as she fought tears.

“I’m sorry…”

Hermione gasped and pulled Bellatrix tighter as the older witch’s arms circled her. Bellatrix’s voice was raw; rough with emotion and vulnerable. 

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted.”

A wet chuckle erupted from over her shoulder. 

“You’re apologising for shouting after I destroyed a room and scared you?”

Hermione buried her nose face in Bellatrix’s hair. 

“Yes, I am.” She held Bellatrix for a few more minutes and then slowly pulled back, ducking her head to see Bellatrix’s tear-stained face under her mane of hair. “Have you eaten?”

Bellatrix shook her head. 

“I don’t normally eat breakfast.”  
“Well, I’m starved. How about I sneak down to the kitchen and ask Winky for some food and bring it back here?”

Bellatrix’s nose wrinkled and she shook her head. 

“You should go to the Hall.”

Hermione was disappointed and opened her mouth to protest. 

“Bella, I-”

“-Hermione, I can’t… I’m grateful for you checking on me. I am. But I need to piece myself together. It’s what I’ve always done and I can’t do it with you here. You make me vulnerable.”

“I…” Hermione was going to argue; tell her that being vulnerable with her was a good sign and that they should be able to be that together. But she could see that Bellatrix wasn’t there yet and pushing her might make her shut down again. At least she seemed to have helped, a little. “Alright. If you’re sure.”

“I am. Very.” Bellatrix pulled away a little. “You should go and be with your friends. I’ll see you in class.”

Hermione couldn’t help but feel as though she could have done more. She knew that she should do as she was told and let Bellatrix have time to herself, but she was scared that if she left Bellatrix would feel alone. She didn’t want that. 

“You know… I wasn’t scared. Last night. Not of you.” Bellatrix’s eyes flashed and she opened her mouth, ready to respond. Hermione rushed to finish. “I was scared that you’d hurt yourself. That I couldn’t help you on my own and that you would hate yourself if I tried and you lashed out. I was scared that I didn’t know what to do to help. But I wasn’t scared of you.”

Bellatrix watched Hermione give her a smile and then head towards the door, pausing with her hand on the handle. 

“What is it?”

Hermione looked back at her. 

“You’re more than the pain you’ve endured. You’re more than the sacrifices you’ve made and the loss you’ve seen. You’re one of the strongest people I have ever met and you deserve a little happiness. I know it feels impossible, with the weight of everything. But it’s not even been a year yet. I have hope that with time, we’ll all be able to get a little happiness.”

With that, Hermione lifted the latch and left the room, leaving Bellatrix with a weight in her chest that didn’t feel quite as heavy as it had before the younger witch had visited. 


	31. A Good Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione and Ginny have some conversations.

Hermione had spent the rest of the day studying, trying to push the desire to go and check on Bellatrix out of her mind and instead focus on her future. Bellatrix was a grown woman and had presumably dealt with worse than this. But her mind kept returning to that bottle and wondering if the older woman had been able to resist having any as a part of her recovery. 

Bellatrix was absent from dinner that evening, although it didn’t surprise Hermione much given that she’d said she’d see her in class. It still disappointed her and she found herself unable to take much pleasure in the food. 

“Hermione, you look like someone torched the library,” Ginny said, catching Hermione’s arm on their way back up to the common room. She pulled her into an alcove and sat them both down on the stone bench. “What’s the matter?”

Hermione wrapped her arms around her stomach and shook her head, looking at the students passing. Ginny seemed to get the hint and chewed on her lip, looking at Hermione with concern. 

“I… I can’t talk here,” Hermione whispered as other students walked past. 

“So, let’s go somewhere. The Room of Requirement-”

“-No,” Hermione rushed to interrupt and then bit her lip. “No… my room should be fine, if that’s okay?”

“Sure, of course.” Ginny grasped her hand and they walked back to Gryffindor tower together, Hermione feeling a little hollow. She hadn’t realised how emotionally exhausted she was and she knew it was starting to show. She could really use a break. 

In her room, she shrugged off her cloak and jumper, pulling at the tie until it loosened and she could slip it off. Ginny watched her from the bed, anxious but patient. When Hermione glanced around at her, Ginny coughed and turned away, letting Hermione change into pyjamas without an audience. 

“You know, you look like shit,” Ginny teased when Hermione had finished and sat on the bed next to her. “What’s up, Black keep you up all night?”

She’d meant it to make Hermione chuckle, or at least be mock horrified, but Hermione felt tears welling and she was suddenly crying. 

“Oh, shit, Hermione, I didn’t mean…” Ginny wrapped her arms around her and pulled her in for a hug as her friend sobbed loudly into her jumper. “Hermione, what happened? Is it her? Did she hurt you?”

Hermione shook her head, hard, not wanting Ginny to get the wrong impression. 

“She just…” another burst of sobs ripped through her and she clung tighter to Ginny. “She’s been through so much and I can’t… I don’t know if I can fix it.”

“Oh, Hermione…” Ginny stroked her hair and kissed her head, shaking her own. “She’s not for you to fix. You always want to help fix things. You helped rebuild Hogwarts when everyone would have understood you taking time… you tried to fix things with Ron, more times than he deserved. Sometimes people have to fix themselves.”

“But, I-”

“No, come on, Hermione. I’m not saying don’t be there for her. In fact I think that given the change in behaviour I’ve seen from her, you being with her is helping, right?” Hermione hesitated and then nodded, pulling away a little to look Ginny in the eye as she wiped hers. “So just keep doing that. Keep being there for her. Let her fix the rest. At a certain point, people have got to deal with their own past and no one else can do it for them.”

“You sound like McGonagall,” Hermione’s chuckle was interrupted by a sobbing breath, but it made Ginny smile anyway. 

“Yeah, well, I always liked her. There are worse role models.”

“You’re not wrong,” Hermione replied, managing to dry her cheeks enough that the cold air coming in from the window wouldn’t sting her. “I just… I wish I could help more. Sometimes I feel like I’m making a difference and then other times I just feel like I’m part of the problem.”

“Oh, ‘Mione,” Ginny held her hand on the bed between them tightly, squeezing it for comfort. “You could never be part of the problem.” 

Hermione shifted, laying down on the bed. Tears pricked at her eyes again and she shook her head, burying it into the duvet. 

“It’s such a lot, Gin. I thought I wanted a normal year, but everything I’ve really wanted this year has been anything but normal. Or, I guess, normal for me in this school.” She looked up from the duvet at her friend. 

“You’d have been bored,” Ginny grinned, laying down next to her and looking at her with a smile. “You know Harry and Ron weren’t the only ones who got a kind of kick out of those adventures.”  
“Is that what they were?” Hermione asked, her vision of Ginny blurring as she blinked and the tears spilled out, rolling lazily over her nose. 

“Well, whoever said adventures were always fun? Or planned, for that matter.” 

Hermione rolled her eyes and pushed her friendly gently. 

“Well they definitely weren’t those.” She sighed and dried her eyes again. “I miss how it used to be; I can’t deny that. But I think it’s just because everything seemed so important then. It was do or die, but now everything seems like… my future is uncertain, you know? Everytime something happened it was simple; we had to stay alive, defeat the bad… granted that was mostly Voldermort but there was that one year when it was just Sirius and Wormtail… everything had a goal, a purpose, you know?”

“Yeah…?” Ginny sounded like she wasn’t quite sure where Hermione was going but was willing to listen anyway. It made Hermione smile.

“I guess what I mean is, after this year, it’ll be adult life, get a job, climb the ladder… after the life I’ve lived in my teenage years it all seems kind of… bland.”

Ginny snorted and then burst into chuckles, rolling around on the bed a little. 

“Oh, Hermione,” she said when she could catch her breath, coming face to face with a slightly indignant Hermione. “Sorry it’s just…you could do anything you wanted with your grades and your reputation. You could take that rest we talked about; you’d more than deserve it. The world is your oyster; that’s what the muggles say right? And you’re sitting here worried that you’ll be bored. Trust me; this sort of thing seems to follow you and the boys around like… well like Grawp does Hagrid. I have no doubt that you’ll find something to entertain you.”

Hermione rolled her eyes again. 

“I don’t know that I necessarily want danger… I just… I always thought I’d end up working a couple of ministry jobs and then aiming for Minister of Magic, you know? But they’re all… desk jobs. I mean… What if I get bored? What if what I always wanted… isn’t what I want anymore?”

Ginny sobered up, smiling gently at Hermione and shaking her head. 

“So find a new dream, Hermione. People change. What do you really want now?”

Hermione sighed and thought. If she didn’t work for the Ministry, perhaps she could travel, maybe go work with Charlie a bit; she could use her drive to change the relationship between the wizarding world and its magical creatures to be of use there… different ideas ran through her mind, but none seemed quite right. Then she thought of Bellatrix and suddenly…   
_Oh… that’s why_. None of her thoughts had included Bellatrix and they had felt empty. The minute that she added the woman to the mix, her future seemed more set; brighter even. 

Bellatrix taught at Hogwarts and Hermione knew that it would be difficult for them to see each other because of that. But she could get a place in Hogsmeade, travel back at weekends and during school holidays and spend time with her…

“Okay, whatever you just thought of, that’s what you’ve got to do,” Ginny interrupted her thoughts, smiling. “Whatever it is, it’s making you light up like a Christmas tree. It’s the best I’ve seen you all day.”

Hermione blushed, her head burying itself in the duvet again. Ginny laughed, almost falling off the bed in the process. 

“Shush Gin!”

“Oh I knew it! It was about Black, wasn’t it?”

Hermione could feel her face practically combusting from the embarrassment and gave Ginny a shove, harder than she’d planned, which sent her friend sprawling on the floor, still laughing. 

“Ouch, damn Hermione!” Ginny chuckled, wincing as she rubbed her ass. “I don’t know if I deserved that!”

“Maybe a little,” Hermione grinned, offering her hand and helping her friend up. Ginny rejoined her on the bed and gave her a rueful smirk. 

“So it was about her then?”

Hermione smiled and hid her face a little. 

“It was just… thinking about fitting someone into my life before just felt like something that would happen, you know? Now, nothing feels right unless I consider how she’d fit in it… is that crazy?”

“Maybe a little,” Ginny admitted, rolling on to her back to look at the ceiling. “I mean, I get it. I think about how my life will be with Harry. But… you’re not dating her. You don’t even know if she’d want to…” Hermione bit her lip, glad that Ginny wasn’t looking at her. “I mean, I know Luna and I told you that she looks at you the same way you look at her and that she’s totally got a thing for you, but we’ve talked about the reasons she might be hesitant too, haven’t we?”

Ginny’s head rolled to the side and Hermione nodded slowly. 

“Yes, that she’s older and she’s had a lot to cope with…”  
“Yes, that. I just worry that if she pushes you away, once you ask her… are you going to be able to leave it alone? Move on?”

Hermione chewed her lip and rolled to face the ceiling too. She didn’t necessarily need to consider the question; she already knew that Bellatrix had agreed to explore their relationship after she had finished at Hogwarts. But she couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if Bellatrix ever did decide that this wasn’t right for her. What would happen if she decided to sink into her past, her melancholy and realised that she was happy in her misery alone? What would happen if she decided she was better off alone, than with Hermione? 

“Hey, woah, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you…” Ginny said softly and Hermione realised that she was crying. She drew in a breath and it sounded more like a sob, before she turned over and buried her head in Ginny’s shoulder. 

“I don’t know, Gin. I don’t know if I could.”

“Hey, I mean you don’t know that it would happen, right? I mean every relationship has that worry; will it last? I know I worry that Harry won’t stay; that he’ll find someone else better than his friend’s kid sister and go on with his life.”

“That won’t happen,” Hermione said, shaking her head, smearing her tears across Ginny’s shoulder. “He’s totally in love and you know it.”

Ginny blushed and dropped a kiss to Hermione’s forehead. 

“Well… I mean who could resist?” She chuckled and then gently shifted Hermione’s head so that she could look at her. “You know, I think it’ll be the same for you two. There’s just something about the way that you look at each other… I think if you can both get over the things you’ve had to deal with in your lives, then there’s no reason that you two couldn’t be together, as long as you both feel the same.”

Hermione’s cheeks were pink but she nodded. 

“I guess you’re right… we’d have just as much chance as anyone, right?”

“Absolutely.”

Hermione smiled and threw her arms around Ginny, as best she could on the bed, and hugged her tight. 

“Thank you, Gin.”

“Anytime, ‘Mione,” Ginny replied, her face squished between the bed and Hermione. “Can you… um… let me breathe?”

“Oops,” Hermione said, pulling away. “Sorry.”

“No worries. So…” Ginny hesitated. “Are you going to tell me what exactly brought all this on? I mean we all know that Black’s not exactly had it easy, but what exactly happened yesterday?”

Hermione hesitated. She shouldn’t and couldn’t tell Ginny what had actually happened; it wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right to tell her about Bellatrix’s breakdown. But she couldn’t exactly keep giving Ginny nothing; sooner or later her friend would get curious enough to start paying more attention. 

“She told me about… something that happened while she was spying on Voldermort. She got upset about it and… I just wish I could make her see that she did more good than bad, you know?”

“What was it?” Ginny asked, her brow furrowing. “What happened?”

“Ginny, I can’t tell you that. It’s not my business.”

“Alright.” Ginny held up her hand. “Fair enough. So she blames herself for not putting a stop to things he did while she was spying? Surely that would have meant that she got discovered, right?”

“Yes, more than likely. Even in her position, the slightest doubt about her loyalty in Voldermort’s mind and she’d have probably been tortured. By the sounds of it he had no qualms about hurting even his loyal followers.”

Ginny shivered. 

“Are you really surprised about that?”

“No. Not really. I wouldn’t have put anything past him.”

They both lay in silence for a little while, the memories washing over them, less impactful than they had been months ago. Time really had begun to heal the wounds, although the pain was still there, present in every memory of the long war. 

“Hey, do you want to sleep in here tonight?” Hermione asked quietly, her voice betraying how weak she felt. “Like old times?”

It wasn’t exactly old times, but those first months after the war, it wasn’t uncommon for one of the girls to creep into the others’ bed for comfort; first in the Burrow and then on their return to Hogwarts. It hadn’t happened in a while and Hermione knew that she should be grateful, but right now all she wanted was that comfort back. Ginny gave her a small smile. 

“Of course. I’ll go and get my pyjamas.” She sat up and padded to the door, before turning back and shooting Hermione a smirk. “As long as you don’t try and pounce on me, you know, with your newfound love for the ladies.”

Hermione rolled her eyes. 

“Shut up; as if.”

“Hey, I will have you know that you’d be lucky to have me in your bed like that,” Ginny grinned. 

“I’m sure I would,” Hermione chuckled. “But it’s totally not going to happen.”

“Damn, well, there go my dreams…” Ginny winked and headed out to collect her things from her own room. 

Hermione slipped under the covers and lay there, looking up at the ceiling. Her heart was beating softly against her ribs and she held her hand over it, closing her eyes. It had been an emotional evening and suddenly she felt exhausted. Her thoughts strayed, as they often did, to Bellatrix. She wondered if she was drinking or if she was asleep already, as emotionally exhausted as Hermione was now, or even more so. She hoped that, whatever Bellatrix was doing, she was starting to feel better. 

When Ginny returned, she found Hermione asleep, her hand still over her heart. Ginny smiled, and slipped in beside her, thankful that her friend hadn’t fallen asleep taking over half the bed. She turned on her side and looked at her friend breathing peacefully. 

“I wish life would go easier on you. I really wish it would.”

With that, Ginny slipped her arm around her friend and fell asleep within minutes. 

***

The next day, Hermione woke to find Ginny’s arm in her face. Spluttering, she moved it out of the way and slipped from the bed, rolling her eyes as Ginny simply yawned and rolled over. 

“Ginny? Ginny it’s time to get up. We have classes.” Ginny grumbled in her sleep and threw her arms over her head. Hermione snorted and poked her foot. “Oi, Ginny, time to get up.”

“Leave me alone,” Ginny grumbled. Hermione chuckled; her friend hated mornings. 

“Sorry, can’t do that. As your friend it’s my duty to help you. As Head Girl, it’ll be my duty to drop water on you.”

One of Ginny’s eyes opened and she glared at Hermione. 

“You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, but I would.” Hermione raised her wand and Ginny groaned, sitting up. 

“Fine, I’m up. I’m up. No need to give me a shower.”

“Good, let’s get breakfast. I’m starving.”

“God I hate that you like mornings.”

“Habit,” Hermione hummed, grabbing her school clothes. “Come on, chop chop, or else you’re going to see me naked.”

“Lucky me,” Ginny replied sarcastically, dragging herself from the bed. “Black will be jealous.”

Hermione’s heart sank a little at the mention of the older witch and the concerns from the weekend crept in, but she stuck her tongue out at Ginny and then laughed at her own childishness. 

“Go and get dressed or I’m leaving without you.”

Grumbling all the way, Ginny left the room and headed down to her own room, leaving Hermione to get changed in peace. Once she was dressed she looked in the mirror at her hair, which was a mess of curls and waves. Sighing, she picked up her hairbrush and dragged it through it, deciding to leave it down for the day when it came out looking decent. 

Grabbing her school bag and the books she needed, she hurried down the stairs and caught Ginny, looking decidedly dishevelled and still half asleep, as she tumbled out of her room. 

“Why are you always so cheerful in the mornings?” Ginny complained again as Hermione flashed her a smile. 

“Because mornings have breakfast in them,” Hermione replied, which wasn’t true, but she knew that it would appeal to Ginny’s stomach which, like with her brothers, was always hungry. 

“Fair,” Ginny yawned before following Hermione down the rest of the stairs and through the common room, towards the exit. When they had made it through the maze of corridors and navigated the staircases, which appeared to be particularly flighty that day, they walked into the Great Hall and found a seat at the Gryffindor table for breakfast. Ginny practically face-planted into a plate of sausages, eggs, beans, toast and bacon, while Hermione buttered some toast and added jam, biting into it with a hunger she wasn’t aware she had. 

Humming to herself, she let her eyes wander lazily around the room, her foot bouncing. She couldn’t wait to be in class; couldn’t wait to see Bellatrix and make sure she was okay…. She almost spat her toast across the table when her eyes met onyx ones. 

Bellatrix was standing next to McGonagall’s chair and looking at Hermione intensely. Hermione hurriedly swallowed her toast, grabbing her drink to stop herself from choking on crumbs that she’d practically inhaled. When she looked around again, Bellatrix was engaged in a deep conversation with the Headmistress. 

“You alright?” Ginny asked, although she was giving Hermione a smug grin. “Never seen her here at breakfast before.”

“Me neither,” Hermione replied, still watching Bellatrix. 

“She looks alright. You know, she doesn’t look like she’s struggling.”

Hermione studied the other witch from a distance. It was true; she didn’t look as though she were struggling. She looked nothing like the witch who, only the day before, had needed to be left alone to piece herself back together again. Hermione breathed a sigh of relief but couldn’t tear her eyes away from the other witch. 

“Hermione?”

“Hmmm?” She looked back at Ginny, who rolled her eyes. “Oh, right. Yeah, she looks alright.”

“So you’re just going to stare at her until someone works out you’ve got a thing for her?” Hermione blushed and glanced up at the table. Bellatrix was no longer there and Hermione cursed under her breath. “Oops, looks like you have to wait until class to drool at her.”

Hermione threw a croissant at Ginny and hit her square in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now I want a croissant.


	32. A Lesson in Tenderness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The class are ready for Bellatrix, but is she ready to teach? This chapter contains more raw conversations between Hermione and Bellatrix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well... Here you go, thirsty readers. I know you missed some Bellamione interaction on the last one so here is a heavily one on one interaction chapter. Still no smut... ;)

The students filed into class and Hermione brought up the rear, anxious to see Bellatrix again. She sighed in relief when the woman was standing at the front of the class; part of her had feared that McGonagall would have taken over again, giving Bellatrix more time to recover. But no, there she stood, her black dress clinging to her torso and falling into thick skirts around her legs. No corset today and Hermione almost mourned the loss of it, although it was usually too distracting in class for her. 

“Sit down,” Bellatrix drawled, as though bored of waiting for them and Hermione rushed to her seat with Ginny. “Today we will be exploring the technique for some particularly difficult defence spells; it will require your full concentration and I will not accept anyone misbehaving or joking around.”

“As if anyone would dare in her class,” someone whispered behind Hermione, probably not as quietly as they had hoped. Bellatrix’s eyes narrowed and Hermione could feel the hot glare practically singeing her hair as it flew over her. 

“What about what I just said confused you, Boot?”

Everyone turned to stare at the boy, who had paled a little. 

“Sorry, Professor, I-”

“-I don’t need to hear excuses.” Bellatrix’s voice had turned cold and Hermione shivered, looking back at her along with the rest of the class. “If I hear one peep from anyone in this class that hasn’t been accompanied by a raised hand and my approval, you’ll be in detention for the rest of the week.”

Silence met her. 

Bellatrix stood at the front of the class and detailed the spells which they would be learning and the spells which they could defend against. She showed them the steps, the wand movements and then instructed them all to stand, partner up and practice. Hermione recognised them from her training sessions with Bellatrix and extensive study and felt completely confident in her ability to master them. As they gathered at the front of the class, Hermione, watching her as always, saw the slightest flinch from Bellatrix before she raised her wand and cleared the floor of tables and stools, ushering them all into the room again.

Hermione frowned as she followed Ginny. Something was still off about Bellatrix. To everyone else she was her usual brisk self, perhaps slightly more moody and snappish but it was hardly unusual. Hermione, however, could see that Bellatrix was struggling, perhaps with loud noises and that might be why she wanted silence. Perhaps that was also why she was teaching them technique instead of having them actually perform spells today. Either way, Hermione felt the relief she had felt on seeing Bellatrix back to teaching being taken over by concern that perhaps she had come back too soon. 

They had only been practicing for ten minutes when it happened. 

Bellatrix had been studying her students from her desk, keeping an eye on them as they practiced and occasionally barking out corrections. Hermione had just performed a perfect movement and Ginny was grinning at her when there was a loud slam and everyone looked up at the desk, startled, to see Bellatrix leaning over the desk, a large book between her hands and the desk. 

“Granger!”

“Yes, Professor?” Hermione replied, feeling the tingle of nerves run through her as she looked at Bellatrix’s frustrated eyes. 

“Since you seem to have mastered this with little trouble, perhaps you can teach the rest of your class? They all seem to be inadequate.”

Hermione flinched a little and looked around at her fellow students. Sure, she had always been a little ahead of her year, but the reason for her having little to no trouble with this was almost entirely based on her training with Bellatrix. She had an unfair advantage. 

“Professor?” Bellatrix’s eyes were dark and Hermione sucked in her breath, suddenly feeling with every inch of her that Bellatrix was struggling to maintain a sense of sanity. She scrambled to resolve the situation. “Of course, Professor, I can take over.”

“Good. I have a meeting with the Headmistress.” Bellatrix stood up straight and began to march towards the door. “I leave you in Granger’s capable hands.”

The door slammed behind her and Hermione let out the breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding. 

“Merlin, what the hell was up with her?” Terry Boot muttered. Hermione turned on him, glaring and he took a step back. “Yikes, Granger, you might be taking over but do you have to glare like her too?”

Hermione schooled her expression as Ginny nudged her gently.   
“Alright, let’s do as Professor Black said and get back to it.” As they broke off into their pairs again, Hermione realised that they were all whispering to each other. She frowned and raised her voice. “No need to gossip; focus on your footwork!”

“Hermione, what was that?” Ginny whispered when her friend turned to her, looking perturbed. “I know you said she was having a rough time but that was… well…”

Hermione chewed her lip, facing away from the rest of the class so that they couldn’t see how worried she was. 

“I don’t know Gin, but we shouldn’t discuss it now.”

Her friend put a comforting hand on her arm and rubbed it before returning to her stance and beginning to work on her footwork. Hermione spent some more time with Ginny before going from student to student and correcting their work. 

She called a halt to class ten minutes early, unsure of what else to do once everyone had got the hang of the steps. 

“Keep working on those; you know Black will probably test us on it during the next lesson,” she called to the escaping students. “And if I hear any gossip about Black circling through the students about what happened earlier, everyone will lose points.”

The group grumbled but, under the weight of her Head Girl badge, they nodded and headed off to lunch. Ginny was the only one to remain. 

“Damn, Hermione…”

“I know,” Hermione sighed, waving her wand to bring the room back to order and the stools and desks back to their original positions. She didn’t know whether Bellatrix would be back for her next lesson but she didn’t want her coming back and having to do more than was necessary. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look like that in class.”

“Yeah… I thought it was a bit different from her usual hard-ass lesson style. Is she… is she alright?”

Ginny sounded genuinely concerned about the other woman and Hermione sent her a small, grateful smile. 

“No Ginny, I don’t think she is.” She looked at her friend with sad, worried eyes and Ginny immediately flung an arm around her. 

“She’ll be alright. She said she was going to see McGonagall; do you think she was telling the truth?”

“I don’t know…” Hermione chewed her lip and then quickly grabbed her bag, rifling through it to find the map. Glancing at Ginny with a small ‘don’t you dare mention this’ look, she tapped the map and said, “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”

The map revealed itself and Hermione opened it over the desk, searching for Bellatrix’s footprints. First she checked McGonagall’s office, then rooms and then finally Bellatrix’s rooms. She was there, alone. Hermione frowned. 

“Oh, there,” Ginny pointed, having just spotted her. 

“I should get McGonagall…” Hermione murmured, unsure of her own statement. What she really wanted was to go to Bellatrix herself. 

“Or… you could check on her?” Ginny smirked. Hermione gaped at her. “Oh come on. Perfect opportunity to get a look in her rooms. A concerned friend…”

“Ginny…”

“What? I’m just saying; I’d like to know how the woman lives her life. Do you reckon it’ll be completely black in there? Reckon she’s got a secret Slytherin Quidditch shrine?”

Hermione rolled her eyes, even as she contemplated checking on Bellatrix herself. 

“I think I should get McGonagall,” she murmured, looking at the headmistress's footprints in her office. She folded up the map, cleared it and stuffed it in her bag. “Yeah, I’m going to go.”

“Alright; want me to come with?” Ginny asked, looking at her as though she wasn’t sure if Hermione was alright. 

“No I’m fine, thanks. Go get lunch; grab me something in case it takes longer than we have?”

“Sure,” Ginny smiled. “I’m on it.”

“Thanks, Gin,” Hermione repeated, giving her friend a real smile before heading for the door, Ginny following. “I just want to make sure that McGonagall knows.”

“Yeah, probably a good idea. Especially if she’s not going to be okay in time for the next lesson.”

They parted ways and Hermione walked down the corridor, glancing back down it when she reached the end and seeing that Ginny had gone. Then, she turned in the direction of Bellatrix’s rooms, instead of the Headmistress’s office. 

She hesitated outside of it, feeling rather like she had the first time that she had knocked on it months ago. The wood seemed imposing; she didn’t know what she would find on the other side. Raising her hand to it, she knocked. 

Bellatrix opened the door and let her in silently. 

“Hey,” Hermione breathed as the older woman shut the door behind her and leaned against it, her face paler than usual and her eyes darker, making her look almost gaunt. “What happened?”

Bellatrix waved her hand, as though shooing away the question, but she gestured to the sofa in front of the fire. It was lit and Hermione was grateful; it was a particularly cold February day. She went to the sofa and sat then watched as Bellatrix hesitated, hovering in front of her. 

“I am not… accustomed to this,” Bellatrix said, her throat rough.

“To what?” Hermione pressed gently, when Bellatrix did not continue. 

“To… being cared for. You know that.”

“Yes,” Hermione replied softly. 

“But I found myself… hoping that you would knock on my door.”

Hermione drew in a breath, feeling a heaviness on her chest that seemed to ease a little with the inhale and Bellatrix’s confession. 

“Oh?”

Bellatrix’s fingers twisted together and Hermione watched them, captivated by the long fingers, worrying themselves. 

“Yes. I’m not sure why. I just… I know that I have felt better for seeing you before and I couldn’t…” Bellatrix trailed off, looking smaller suddenly in her vulnerability. It made Hermione ache. She reached out a hand and Bellatrix studied it nervously, before taking it. Hermione drew her gently to the sofa and sat her down, never letting go of her hand. 

“Well, I’m here.”

“You must think me so weak. Pathetic,” Bellatrix spat, her face contorting in disgust at the thought. “I can’t bear it.”

“I don’t,” Hermione soothed, her fingers tightening around the other woman’s hand. “I think you’re the strongest, bravest person I have ever met.”

Bellatrix gave a soft snort and shook her head, her eyes fixed on the hands that were intertwined on Hermione’s knee. 

“I cannot see how that is possible, Hermione. You have seen me at some of my strongest and most powerful moments; how can this compare? I’m just a shell of who I was.”

“No,” Hermione repeated. “I think the strongest and bravest thing to do is to admit that you need help.”

“I don’t need…” Bellatrix snapped instinctively and then bit her own tongue. “I… don’t know what I need.”

“Well… how about instead of trying to work out what you need, we start with what you want? What do you want right now, Bella?”

Bellatrix’s fingers went rigid in hers. Hermione wondered, in the minutes of silence that followed, whether Bellatrix would throw her out; close back up and not let her get under her skin again. 

“Firewhiskey.” The hoarse voice was filled with the strain of resistance. “It’s all I’ve wanted since the other night.”

“Have you-”

“-No.” Bellatrix’s head shook as she continued to look at their entwined hands. “I haven’t touched it. Everytime I thought about it, I could just see that disapproving look you gave me when I turned up at Andy’s…” 

Bellatrix let out a harsh chuckle and Hermione squeezed their hands again, prompting the other woman to look at her. 

“That is so incredible; you know that, don’t you?” She used her other hand to slowly, gently, move wayward curls out of Bellatrix’s face and tuck them behind her ear. “To resist something that has been your crutch for so many years?”

Bellatrix’s eyes darkened. 

“Don’t analyse me right now, pet. I don’t need words of praise or to be told I’m a good girl.”  
“Okay, I’m sorry,” Hermione withdrew her spare hand but kept the other firmly around Bellatrix’s. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just… that is just more proof to me that this is one of the moments that I have known you in... where you have been truly strong.”

Bellatrix didn’t respond and so Hermione decided to move on, her nerves thrumming through her. She wasn’t sure if she was helping but she hoped so; she could feel the ache in her heart, desperate to help, so endeared by Bellatrix’s admission that she wanted Hermione there. 

“Anything else that you want right now?”

Bellatrix’s eyes shot to Hermione’s face and then trailed to her lips, darkening a little before she forced her gaze back to their hands. Hermione felt a thrill run through her. 

“Nothing I can have.”

It was said with such a throaty, rough voice that Hermione felt the thrill be replaced by a jolt through her centre and she forgot how to breathe. 

“You…” She almost told Bellatrix that she could have whatever she wanted if it would help but quickly swallowed the sentence, licking her lips which felt suddenly dry. “Some day.”

Bellatrix’s gaze flew to her again and it burned so hot against Hermione that she felt as though she might explode. Suddenly she felt that she could curse the fire; it was not needed now. 

“Hermione…” Bellatrix’s eyes searched her face and landed on her lips, which Hermione unconsciously wetted again. “I…”

“I know…” Hermione’s throat was dry now too; she could feel the heat rushing through her veins. 

“I don’t want to use you that way,” Bellatrix murmured, her hand coming up to cup Hermione’s jaw and her thumb trailing over the bottom lip that shivered under her touch. “You’re not another coping mechanism… not like that.”

Hermione stared into the black eyes that seemed softer, warmer now, as Bellatrix looked at the younger woman in front of her. 

“Well, that’s very sweet,” she replied and watched as Bellatrix’s lip curled a little at being called sweet, although she seemed oddly amused by it. “I just mean that it’s sweet that you are protecting me from… yourself. But I can handle you.”

Bellatrix’s dark chuckle echoed from the back of her throat and she pressed her thumb a little against Hermione’s lip before trailing it over her cheekbone and tangling her fingers in the younger woman’s hair. 

“Oh, can you?”

“Mmm,” Hermione replied, feeling the charged air between them crackle as the distance shortened. She could feel Bellatrix’s hot breath against her skin. “Yes. But we’re meant to behave, aren’t we?”

Bellatrix’s chuckle sounded again and her forehead rested against Hermione’s gently, eyelids fluttering shut. 

“How do you know exactly how to stop me from drowning?”

Her voice was quieter and softer; that vulnerable edge sneaking back in. Hermione breathed in, her heart fluttering at the familiar scent of Bellatrix filling her nostrils. 

“I wasn’t sure when I started. I just knew that you wanted me here and that you always seem so alive when we banter.”

Bellatrix snorted again and, with her hand still buried in Hermione’s hair, she lifted her head and pressed a kiss to Hermione’s forehead. 

“You are something, little witch.”

Hermione felt herself melting a little at the tenderness and she wanted to follow Bellatrix into her space when she pulled away. Instead she took Bellatrix’s hand again and stroked her thumb over the top of it. 

“It’s not entirely selfless. I also do it because I can’t bear to see you like that. It hurts me to see you in pain.”

Bellatrix’s eyes flickered with a darkness for a moment and then she sighed. 

“I am sorry to cause you pain, Hermione. I would never want to… you know that, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Hermione murmured, stroking her thumb across Bellatrix’s hand again. “I know that.”

“When you said that I deserve happiness…” Bellatrix trailed off and the sadness crept between them like a shadow. “I’m not sure that I believe that.”

“You do, I-”  
“-Let me finish, please,” Bellatrix interrupted her, squeezing her hand. “I’m not sure I believe that; I don’t know if I ever did. It’s not something I truly expected from my life, not with how I grew up and what was expected of me. But, I have found that when I am around you… I have started to imagine that happiness might be in my future. I can imagine that because... I have found it… in my present.”

Hermione melted again, her heart burning with the ache in it. 

“Uh… you…” She frowned, apparently unable to speak. Bellatrix chuckled gently and her hand raised to tangle in Hermione’s hair again, bringing their foreheads together once more. “You’re happy?”

“Well, I am, in moments with you,” Bellatrix said carefully. “I believe my… recent behaviour suggests that it is not a permanent state.”

Hermione’s brain wasn’t working properly; she was sure that she had never been so bewildered by such a simple expression of happiness before. But then, she supposed, with Bellatrix, happiness was neither simple or something to be taken for granted. 

“That isn’t your fault. I know what you think,” she blurted out, the memory of Bellatrix’s cries from the other night creeping into her brain and settling like a chill. “But it isn’t your fault. You did the best that you could and you are to thank for so many lives saved.”

Bellatrix’s body became rigid; less so than before but Hermione sensed the change immediately and lifted her forehead away from Bellatrix’s hesitantly, searching for her eyes. Bellatrix closed them momentarily and then pulled back, leaving her hand in Hermione’s hair for a few seconds before untangling them and retrieving both hands. 

“No matter how many lives I saved, Hermione, I was still in a position to save more. That burden will always be mine. Yes, time may lessen it, but the fate of those people…” she paused to correct herself, as though she needed to distinguish between the past and present to save her sanity. “Those creatures... it lies on my shoulders.” 

Hermione had felt the shiver of the words run up her spine but she knew that she could not argue. Bellatrix saw them as her responsibility; whatever happened to them was on her, in her eyes. Perhaps she could continue to fight with her about that, but she doubted that she would ever get Bellatrix to see it her way. As stubborn as Hermione was, Bellatrix was worse. There was only one thing she could say. 

“How can I help?”

“What do you mean?” Bellatrix’s eyes furrowed and she searched Hermione’s face. 

“How can I help? You’ve been going into the forest; you’ve become your wolf to do it so that you could get close to them. That’s why you didn’t tell me, isn’t it? You knew that I wanted to become an animagus and that I’d insist on helping you.”

“Hermione, I will not risk you-”

“-You’re happy to risk yourself. I am happy to risk myself to help you. You clearly can’t continue alone; you’ve been injured more than once and I for one am not willing to sit and watch it happen again. So what is your plan? Because I am coming with you.”


	33. Don't mess with McGonagall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the title would suggest, this includes McGonagall. Prepare yourself people; the conversation from the previous chapter is not over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So today on the server it's a writing sprint event; I imagine this means you'll be getting a lot of writing, although might not just be this story. Either way, enjoy!

“You are not.”

“I am.”

“Hermione, as endearing as I find your concern and your determination to get involved in every dangerous activity at this school, I will not allow you to follow me into the woods in search of these creatures.”

“But I can help. I’m an animagus now, I-”

“-An illegal one at that. It’s one thing for me to risk myself, but I won’t risk you. Whether that is for being an illegal animagus or for confronting creatures that are known to get violent when threatened. Besides, how do you think they would feel with a wolf and a lynx invading their territory?”

“I don’t know but I’d feel a damn sight better knowing you weren’t going in there alone!” Hermione said, gripping Bellatrix’s hand, her eyes wide. “Please Bella… I can’t see you get hurt again.”

“And you think I could cope, if you got hurt?” Hermione opened her mouth to interrupt and Bellatrix cut her off. “No, I understand what you meant. But this is not entirely selfless, Hermione. You represent hope… that I might have happiness in my future. I cannot risk that. I’ve been without it for too long.”

“You have a family that makes you happy too,” Hermione reminded her gently. Bellatrix smiled softly. 

“I meant hope, Hermione. You are the one that gives me hope and I haven’t had that in so long. Cissy and her family, Andy and hers… they would survive the loss of me. But I could not survive the loss of you.” She raised her hand and stroked the hair from Hermione’s face tenderly, looking into her eyes. “Do you understand?”

Hermione nodded slowly, although her heart was racing. That look… she knew that look. 

“Bella....”

There was a knock on the door, startling them both and Bellatrix immediately separated their hands. 

“Sit,” she directed, gesturing towards the sofa. Hermione hesitated and then followed her instructions as the older witch headed for the door. “Who is it?”

“Bellatrix, open the door.” Minerva McGonagall’s voice rang clear through the wood and Hermione’s eyes widened a little. Crap. She quickly scanned herself, even though they had not done anything, to check that she looked decent. Bellatrix opened the door and admitted the headmistress, her lips pursed as she scanned them both. 

“Minerva, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Bellatrix asked, hovering behind the other woman as McGonagall scanned Hermione. 

“Well, Bellatrix, I would hope that you’d be able to work that out. The absence of yourself and Miss Granger at lunch and from your classroom, coupled with Miss Weasley asking me if Miss Granger had found me led me to believe that I might find the both of you together.” She swept into the room and stood in front of the fire, her eyebrow raised. “What, pray tell, are you both doing in Bellatrix’s rooms after I specifically said-”

“-I was checking on her, Professor,” Hermione interrupted, sending the headmistress and apologetic look when the woman’s eyebrow raised further. “You said that you would be comfortable with us maintaining a friendship and I was concerned about her. I came to check that she was alright.”

“And were you?” McGonagall turned to look at Bellatrix, whose whole demeanour had changed. Her eyelashes fluttered slightly as her hands curled into fists. 

“No… I was not.”

“Well,” McGonagall softened and looked around before sitting on the chair behind her and straightening out her robes. “Hermione, dear, would you put the kettle on? I think it’s time the three of us discussed some things together.”

Silently, Hermione followed instructions, glancing at Bellatrix who caught her eye as the younger witch headed into the kitchen. She watched discreetly, as she gathered some cups and boiled the water with a flick of her wand, while McGonagall and Bellatrix seemed to have a wordless exchange in which Bellatrix sat back on the sofa. When Hermione returned with the tea and passed them out, Bellatrix gestured to the empty seat beside her. Hermione hesitated. 

“Oh do sit down, Hermione,” McGonagall said, a sliver of amusement in her tone. So Hermione sat and placed her tea on her knee, glancing between McGonagall and Bellatrix apprehensively. “Well, who wants to start?”

“Start with… what?” Hermione asked, her fingers burning slightly as she pressed them into the cup she held.

“What happened in class. I assume, given that you just shared one and Miss Weasley looked concerned when she saw me, that something happened that would cause you to think that Bellatrix here was not ‘alright’?”

Hermione glanced at Bellatrix, wondering how much the older woman wanted to share. Bellatrix’s jaw was tight. 

“I had a…” Her hands were shaking a little and she placed the cup down on the dark wooden table beside her. “I was not well. Miss Granger finished the class for me. It was best that I came to my room and pulled myself together.”

“I see,” McGonagall said, her tone sympathetic and kind. “And Hermione thought it best to check on you after that? Did her appearance help, or hinder?”

Bellatrix glanced at Hermione and then looked back at McGonagall, her eyes rolling slightly as she gritted her teeth to reply, as if she couldn’t quite believe she were about to admit…

“It helped.”

“Well, that’s not easy to do.” McGonagall sounded a little too pleased with herself and Hermione’s eyes narrowed a little, as did Bellatrix’s. “Oh, look, you even scowl together.”

Hermione had just been taking a sip of tea to wet a suddenly dry throat and she almost spat it across the floor. Coughing slightly, she put her tea down. 

“Professor, I-”

“-Yes, yes,” McGonagall waved her hand dismissively. “You have to forgive me a little amusement on your behalf. If you’d have asked me a few years ago whether you two would have been friends, even, I’d most likely have denied it. But then again…” 

She trailed off, looking amusedly between the pair, both of whom were sporting light, pink cheeks. 

“Minerva, this is hardly appropriate…” Bellatrix protested, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. “Miss Granger checked on me, it helped and we had just finished a discussion when you appeared.”

“We hadn’t, I-” Hermione interrupted before Bellatrix shot her a look.

“-Oh yes we had.”

“I don’t think so.”

“And what might this subject be?” McGonagall asked, sipping her tea. 

“Miss Granger, displaying a complete lack of self preservation or survival instincts, wishes to throw herself into trouble once more. Admittedly, this time she is without Potter or Weasley, but that doesn’t seem to deter her.”

McGonagall cast an amused smile at Hermione who remembered their conversation in her office. 

“Is it written somewhere that you must have a Weasley and a dark-haired, impossible, rule flouter next to you to get through a year here, Hermione?”

She snorted and Bellatrix raised an eyebrow, looking between the two of them. 

“Something that I should know?”

“Not at all, Bellatrix,” McGonagall sipped her tea again and raised an eyebrow. “Just a discussion with Hermione about just such a topic.”

Bellatrix eyed them both suspiciously and Hermione schooled her features. 

“It’s true,” she promised, about to lay her hand on Bellatrix’s between them to comfort her, but thinking better of it. “But I am right about this.”

“I can only assume that Miss Granger is talking about getting involved with our situation in the forest,” McGonagall said, sitting up a little straighter. “I cannot condone such a thing, you know this.”

“I told her that she wasn’t going into that forest; I am handling it just fine.”

“While I agree with the first part of that statement, Bellatrix, I’m afraid I cannot agree with the second. I think we all know that you’ve done your best to help with this situation; you have done incredible work trying to help those poor creatures. But we know that this is beyond you alone. We also know that we’ve exhausted every possible route in our mission to try and return them to their original forms. Even if we could, I worry that they would not thank us for it. We know that the reason that they have been stuck like that is likely because of a break in their mind. I cannot imagine that returning them to a human form would help that; in fact I imagine that they would be in a very similar situation to poor Neville Longbottom’s parents... if not worse.”

Hermione shifted uncomfortably, her eyes fixed on Bellatrix who was visibly upset by what the headmistress had said. 

“Minerva, I-” she began saying, her hands clenched in fists again on her lap. 

“-I don’t say it to hurt you, Bellatrix,” McGonagall said, leaning forward and placing her hand slowly and gently over Bellatrix’s. “I would never want to do that. But you have to understand that I have a duty of care to this school. I have a duty of care to you. If you keep trying, you might die.”

“I can handle this, McGonagall,” Bellatrix protested, standing up in frustration. Hermione’s body twitched, ready to stand with her. “If I have a little more time…”

“Bellatrix,” McGonagall said, motioning for Bellatrix to retake her seat. “Please.”

When Bellatrix stood there rigidly, Hermione reached out and gently took her arm. Bellatrix looked down at her and Hermione tugged a little, her eyes pleading. Bellatrix closed her eyes but sat down. Hermione didn’t hesitate in putting her hand over Bellatrix’s this time, ignoring the look that McGonagall gave them although her cheeks tinged with pink on seeing the amused smile return to the headmistress’ lips. 

“Bella,” Hermione murmured, her fingers stroking over the pale hands under hers. “If you cannot come up with a solution, who could?”

“I think it is time for me to get the Ministry involved,” McGonagall said. “There’s a possibility they may have secrets that we don’t know that could help them.”

“You know that they won’t, Minerva. They’ll kill them.”

“We don’t know that, Bellatrix.”

Hermione glanced between the two of them and her eyebrows furrowed, trying desperately to think of something that they could do. 

“I could talk to Harry?” She offered, her thumb unconsciously stroking the back of Bellatrix’s hand. “See if he can put in word, make sure that they do everything in their power to come up with a non-fatal solution? Or Kingsley; we could talk to him?”

“Hermione…” Bellatrix shook her head, her shoulder sagging. “They would just see monsters. Problems. Dangers.”

“So give her more time.” Hermione turned to face McGonagall, pleading. “Another month. If she hasn’t figured it out by then, we involve the ministry.”  
“There may not be another month, Miss Granger,” McGonagall said, her lips pursing. “They have already started attacking Centaurs. It is not that far to imagine that they might stray towards the castle soon.”

“Two weeks,” Hermione begged. “Please. Just give her two more weeks. I’ll help. I’ll do research. Please Professor. She has to know that she’s done everything she can before the final option.”

Bellatrix’s hands stiffened under Hermione’s and when Hermione reflexively looked back, Bellatrix’s dark eyes were on her again, filled with that look of wonder and surprise that she so often wore when someone cared about her. 

McGonagall studied the pair before pursing her lips and nodding. 

“Very well, I will consider two weeks. Don’t let it affect your studies, Hermione. Or your work, Bellatrix.”

Hermione nodded furiously in agreement and Bellatrix inclined her head once, her eyes still on Hermione. 

“I promise, I won’t.” Hermione added and turned to Bellatrix. “You’ll have to tell me what you’ve already tried and I can help you research. If there’s anything we can do, we’ll find it.”

Bellatrix gave her a small, sad smile. 

“I’m sure if there is, we will.”

“Well, that’s that then.” McGonagall said, finishing her tea. “Is there anything else I should know before I leave?”

“I would like to speak to you before you do, Minerva,” Bellatrix said, her voice quiet and polite; it sounded odd to Hermione, as though she were too tired to put on her usual front. Bellatrix glanced at her. “Alone.”

Hermione caught her lower lip in her mouth but nodded. 

“Alright, I should go and see if Ginny managed to grab me any lunch anyway. We can talk later about research, yes?”

“Yes,” Bellatrix replied, placing her hand gently on top of Hermione’s for a brief, assuring second, before she retrieved it. “I’ll find you.”

“Okay,” Hermione replied, sighing in relief a little. She stood and looked at McGonagall. “Thank you, professor.”

McGonagall inclined her head and Hermione turned to leave, hesitating at the door and looking back at Bellatrix with a small smile. 

“I’m glad you’re okay.”

Bellatrix’s eyes softened a little as she gave Hermione another small smile before the younger woman opened the door and left. 

Her mind full of what had just happened, Hermione barely paid attention as she headed towards the Great Hall. Lunch was almost over but she and Ginny had a free period before Care of Magical Creatures and she hoped that her friend would still be at the table. 

She knew that Bellatrix had been in a bad place but she couldn’t help feeling a little lightness in her heavy thoughts at the fact that the older woman had, on some level, needed her. She hated to see Bellatrix without her control, hated to see the damage that her years had had on her. But she couldn’t find it in herself to mind when Bellatrix opened up to her, leaned on her and allowed Hermione to help her. She thought of the two weeks that they would have in which to conduct research and wondered whether Bellatrix had looked through everything in the Restricted section. Had she explored the books in her own library? 

Hermione paused at the bottom of the stairs, suddenly realising something. Of course Bellatrix would have looked over everything. This had been going on for months. So what new things could they find? Was she being humoured? She had thought she was petitioning McGonagall for extra time for Bellatix, for her peace of mind, but did Bellatrix know that the creatures’ time was up? Did she know that they would most likely be calling in the Ministry in two weeks?

“Miss Granger?” Hermione jumped and realised that Professor Flitwick was standing in front of her, staring at her curiously. “Are you alright?”

“Oh, yes… sorry Professor. I was just… lost in thought.”

“I would imagine that with a mind like yours, Miss Granger, that is quite an easy feat. I often find myself chasing an errant thought into realms I had not expected.” He looked up at her kindly, the crinkle around his eye making her smile lightly. He always cared so strongly about his students, although he was quiet and soft spoken and so often overlooked; not just because of his height. She felt a swell of fondness in her heart.

“Those realms are sometimes where the best thoughts are, aren’t they professor?”

“Indeed they are, Miss Granger. Just be careful not to chase negative thoughts like that; those realms are not as friendly, nor as easy to escape.”

With a tap to his nose, he stepped around her and climbed the staircase, leaving her staring after him, wondering if every teacher had an inkling of what was going on in her life and had made it their mission to make comments like that at every possible interval. 

Shaking her head, she took the last step and crossed the floor and walked into the Hall, easily spotting Ginny amongst the few stragglers that had not yet left. She joined her and was grateful to see that she had been saved some soup, a sandwich and a glass of juice, which she happily drank. 

“Thanks Gin, I’m starved.”

“Mhmm,” Ginny waggled her eyebrows and propped her chin on her hand, looking at Hermione expectantly. “So….?”

“So, what?” Hermione feigned interest, dipping one triangle of her sandwich into her soup and taking a bite, humming and closing her eyes. “Oh, this is just what I needed, Gin, you’re a lifesaver.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m the best friend a girl who said she was going to find McGonagall and didn’t could ever ask for.”

Hermione snorted, taking another sip of her juice as she almost inhaled some crumbs. 

“Alright, alright, I yield.” She glanced around to make sure that no one was in earshot. “I went to see Bellatrix, alright? I couldn’t get that look on her face out of my mind so I went to check on her. I planned to find McGonagall after but… well, you spoke to her and she found us, instead.”

“Oh my… did she catch you doing something you shouldn’t have been?” Ginny smirked, leaning over the table, before her nose scrunched and her facial expression transformed into a more mortified one. “Oh hell, did she? Because I totally wouldn’t have said anything and that would have to be one of the most embarrassing things-”

“-No Gin, we weren’t doing anything.”

“Well, that’s a relief. I mean not, because I know you’d love it if she pounced on you and plastered you against-”

“-GINNY!” Hermione flushed bright red and practically threw herself over the table to put a hand over her friend’s mouth, almost knocking her soup bowl flying in the process. Ginny laughed against the palm of Hermione’s hand and rolled her eyes, making Hermione do the same. “You are a giant asshole.”

“Language, Head Girl,” Ginny teased as Hermione released her and sat back down. “What would McGonagall say if she heard you?”

“I don’t know, Ginny, probably blame you,” Hermione winked. “She seems to think that I need a Weasley with me to cause trouble after all.”

“Oh well, all the best things happen when I’m around,” Ginny smirked. “So, what happened?”

Hermione told her friend about going to Bellatrix’s rooms, checking on her and seeing that she wasn’t in the best place. She skipped over details but told her friend that she thought she’d managed to have a positive impact when McGonagall had knocked, interrupting their conversation. She went over McGonagall telling them that Ginny had talked to her, to which Ginny blushed a little and cried that she ‘hadn’t really thought’ before she’d opened her mouth. Then she told her that McGonagall approved that Hermione seemed to be having a good effect on Bellatrix and that she’d then left the two of them to it. She left all mention of the creatures and those moments when she’d almost leaned forward and kissed Bellatrix out of it. 

“Well, it could have been worse then,” Ginny said, leaning on her hand again as she watched Hermione finish the soup and sandwich. “I mean, at least she didn’t find you two-”

“-Ah!” Hermione interjected, not wanting to know what Ginny had been about to say. Ginny burst into fits of laughter and shook her head. 

“You are way too easy to wind up, you know that?”

“Whatever,” Hermione rolled her eyes. She let out a satisfied sigh as she looked down at the empty plate, bowl and cup. “Shall we walk down to Hagrid’s early? I want to check on him; he wasn’t his usual self last time.”

“No, he wasn’t,” Ginny agreed, standing. The two grabbed their bags and started heading out. “What do you reckon it is? The thing that’s got the Centaurs all riled up and killed all the animals? I mean, there aren’t many things that could go up against a Centaur herd, right?”

“I don’t think there are many things, no,” Hermione said carefully. “Whatever it is, it can’t be a danger to us, or we’d have been told, right?”

“I mean I guess… but you know, the school doesn’t exactly have the best track record for that kind of thing.”

“You’d hope they’d have learned,” Hermione chuckled, in spite of herself. Ginny joined in.   
“Yeah, you would. I don’t know, McGonagall… I like her better than Dumbledore, you know? I mean he was a great wizard, good man etc but he did play games didn’t he?”

“Yes…” Hermione mused as they stepped out into the cool February air. “Yes he did.”


	34. A little humour with Hagrid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lesson with Hagrid in which there is some hilarity and a conversation with Bellatrix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up? So I'm amused because I keep posting chapters together for different fics and a lot of you have been quite vocally impressed by this which, thanks ;) But as it is my birthday over the next few days, I shall be resting my poor wrists and eating a vast amount of cake. With that in mind, I present to you, this chapter and also a warning. Things are going to heat up when I return. Not going to say how ;) I know what you all want ;) See you in August!

The wisps of smoke from Hagrid’s chimney were a familiar and comforting sight as the two students strode casually across the grounds, quizzing each other on a variety of subjects, preparing for their upcoming exams. Ginny kept shooting longing looks at the Quidditch pitch in the distance; the final match was coming up at the end of the month and she was determined to make Gryffindor winners in her final year as Captain. 

“What’re the team looking like?” Hermione asked as they skirted Hagrid’s vegetable patch. 

“Good,” she replied, turning back to Hermione. “They’re working hard. Warwick is back, thank Merlin; he’s a good beater and we need him.”

“So, if you win this, what’s the plan after school?” Hermione asked, indulging her friend. She’d heard it before but she knew Ginny liked to talk about it. 

“Get on a team, show them how amazing I am and gain victory!” Ginny grinned, knowing Hermione had heard it before. “As a strategy for world domination I think it might be suitable.”

“World domination, hmm?” Hermione grinned as they reached Hagrid’s door. “It’s not the traditional ‘Minister of Magic’ route, I grant you.”

“Who needs that when I’ll have adoring fans?” Ginny winked, knocking on Hagrid’s door. “Besides, if that role ends up being something you do want, no one stands a chance against you. And I, for one, wouldn’t even try.”

Hermione rolled her eyes fondly at Ginny. She knew that her friend wasn’t into Quidditch for the fans, although she did enjoy being singled out for her talent instead of for being the only girl in the family. Ginny loved Quidditch; it was her favourite thing in the world and she wanted nothing more than to be picked up by a good team. She had her heart set on the Holyhead Harpies. Hermione knew that professional teams kept eyes on young up-and-coming stars from schools; she only hoped that they had seen Ginny and saw the talent that everyone else seemed to have and the passion that radiated from her. 

The door opened and Hagrid beamed down at them.   
“Hermione! Ginny! You’re early. Did you come to see me?”

“Yes, we had a free period so we thought we’d grab some extra time with you, if you have it,” Ginny replied and Hermione grinned up at the half giant. She would miss seeing Hagrid regularly when she left the school; she made a note to visit him regularly, although in the back of her mind she hoped that she would have other reasons to visit the school, as well. 

“Well that’s lovely! Come in, I’ll put the kettle on!”

They followed Hagrid inside his hut and sat down, glad of the fire after being out in the cool air. February was never warm around Hogwarts and it was common to see students wearing gloves and scarves well into April. 

“So, what’ve the pair of you been up to? Studying for your exams?”

“Mostly,” Hermione replied, watching as Hagrid put the kettle over the fire and turned to look at the two of them. “But Ginny’s been training for the final; we were just talking about it.”

“Oh yeah, should be a good match I reckon,” Hagrid grinned. “Is Harry coming to see it?”

Ginny’s cheeks became a little pink. 

“I’m not sure Hagrid, maybe.”

“Be nice to see him again,” Hagrid grinned as he laid out the mugs. “And Ron.”

A look passed between Ginny and Hermione but they let it slide. Hagrid didn’t need to be dragged into that drama. 

“It’d be great if they came to support Ginny,” Hermione smiled. “I’m sure they’d love to see you Hagrid.”

Hagrid’s cheeks reddened and he fidgeted a little as he checked the teapot. 

“Don’t know what I’ll do when you leave. Students are great, mind you, but you lot have always been more friends to me.”

“Aww, Hagrid,” Hermione stood and gave him a hug which Ginny joined. Hagrid sniffed above them. 

“Oh, mind out girls, got to get the tea. Can’t have it boiling over.” They shot looks at each other as they released him and silently agreed not to embarrass him over his tears, large and obvious as they were as they had splashed on their heads. They returned to sitting at the table and Hagrid, having pulled himself together, served the tea before sitting down. “So, what else have you got to tell me then?”

“Well, actually we wanted to check and see how you were doing?” Hermione replied, blowing on her steaming tea and looking at him over the rim. “Last time we chatted you were worried about the Centaurs and other creatures in the forest.”

“Ah, yeah, well,” he said, shifting a little in his seat. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“We’d have found out anyway, Hagrid,” Hermione reassured him before she realised what she’d said and scrambled to cover. “Apparently it’s a common thought on the teaching staff that I don’t need Harry and Ron to get in trouble; any accomplices will do. Especially if one is a Weasley.”

She shot a grin at her friend across the table as Hagrid guffawed. 

“You’re not trouble, Hermione,” he chuckled, clapping her on the back hard enough for her to jolt forward, sending Ginny into a fit of giggles. “Well, the Centaurs have had no more trouble but something tells me they’re just keeping out of the way of whatever it was. They’re being very quiet on the whole subject but I’ve not seen them this unhappy since that incident…”

He trailed off but Hermione remembered it well. 

In the days following the war, the Centaurs had ousted a few stragglers from Voldermort’s side from their forest. Most had come screaming out of the trees only to be met by Ministry officials, searching for them. Some had mysteriously been seen running, but had never emerged. Hermione had been reminded of the incident with Dolores Umbridge; she rarely spared the woman any thought these days, but she did occasionally wonder what the Centaurs had done to her. She always came to the conclusion that she didn’t want to know. 

“So, all quiet then,” Ginny said. “Maybe whatever it was moved off.”

Hagrid looked as though he doubted it and Hermione was inclined to agree. She highly doubted that the creatures would be leaving the forest and if they did, she had a suspicion it would not be in a way that would be very discreet. 

They chatted about the upcoming lesson, another trip out onto the lake to see the merpeople, until the rest of the class arrived. Hagrid almost forgot to collect in the essays that he had set previously, but Hermione and Ginny helped collect them in and put them inside his hut before they all headed out on a walk over to the lake. 

Hermione was looking forward to another lesson on the subject; she had managed to research the merpeople while preparing her essay and while there was no evidence of them having a particular inclination towards witches and wizards who had mastered the skill of being an Animagus, they had been known to develop certain inclinations towards humans. She knew that Albus Dumbledore had been able to speak their language and had a relationship with those in the lake and she wondered whether because they had guarded her during the challenge, she had become one of those to whom they felt a connection. She was curious to get out on the boat and see if any of them paid her any attention this time. They were fascinating and studying their culture and their ability to train other animals much like humans was rare in magical creatures who weren’t humanoid. 

The boats rocked gently on the lake and all the students kept their eyes on the water below them, looking for a sign of the merpeople. 

Hagrid began the lesson by quizzing students on subjects of their research. He would call across to a student on another boat and ask them a question and everyone answered correctly, which made him cheer and smile with red cheeks. The merpeople, silently, began to appear. Hermione noticed them immediately, though their heads surfaced from the water with very little ripple effect. When everyone began to notice, Hagrid stopped asking questions to give them a chance to observe. The merpeople were silent but their eyes seemed full of communication and Hermione leaned slightly over the edge of the boat to get closer. The closest to her watched her as she watched them.

Hagrid had begun asking questions again when something disturbed the merpeople. One by one they started moving towards the edge of the lake. Everyone watched in confusion when Hermione looked at the shore. She recognised the dark hair and dark cloak, recognised the witch with her. 

Bellatrix and McGonagall were walking at the edge of the lake and Hermione watched as the merpeople followed them for a way before the witches noticed and stopped, looking down into the water. 

“See, some people have a natural affinity with them,” Hagrid was explaining. “Dumbledore always got along with them and Professor McGonagall too. Apparently Professor Black as well.”

Hermione watched as the two witches looked out towards them. She wanted to wave but thought it would be too odd. Hagrid did, however, and received a wave back from them. They were too far away for Hermione to see Bellatrix’s face but she wished that she could. She had to know that this was Hermione’s class. 

The merpeople began to return to them, circling the boats. Hermione was reminded of sharks and shivered slightly. No matter what, how brilliant and fascinating they were, they could still be dangerous in the wrong situations. 

Something moved in the water. At first, Hermione thought it was another merperson, but the ones closest scattered, although they did not seem alarmed. She leaned over the side of the boat, looking down into the dark depths. 

“Did you see that?” She asked Ginny, who looked over too.

“See what?”

“I thought I saw… I don’t know.”

“So, why do the muggles have so many stories about mermaids and things? They don’t look like these in their books and films,” a student asked Hagrid. The rest of the group seemed to be unaware that the boat that Hermione was on were all looking down into the water and that the merpeople had moved away from them. 

“Well, I don’t know much about the stories,” Hagrid admitted. “Anyone with a muggle family know the answer?”

“Well I don’t know why, but we have things like The Little Mermaid,” Helena Marks, a Hufflepuff, explained. “I guess they’re all about the romanticism of it. There are really old myths and stories about them and they always have attractive human upper bodies…”

“Oh so it’s because sailors wanted a kiss while they were at sea?” One of the Slytherin boys laughed. “I can’t imagine kissing these though.” 

He leaned over, still laughing and started making kissing faces which abruptly stopped when he lost his balance and toppled over the side. The splash made Hermione’s group jump as they were nearest to his boat and had only half been paying attention; distracted by the movement under the water. 

“Oh bloody hell,” Hagrid exclaimed and almost toppled out of his own boat when he moved to get a look in the water. The boy surfaced sputtering and then started yelling… as he was lifted out of the water and returned to the boat by a giant tentacle. 

The group roared with laughter at the indignant and surprised look on his face, until their boats began to move. Small waves rolled them and they clung on for dear life as part of the Giant Squid’s head surfaced and a large eye stared at them. Hermione and Ginny were the first to resume chuckling. For a minute, they had felt like they would all end up in the water, but seeing the friendly giant appear would have been worth it. Students had a soft spot for the giant squid. 

“Well, everyone, would you look who decided to visit?” Hagrid said, wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes. Hermione looked up at the giant eye, fascinated. She had seen the squid before, but never this close. She could reach out and touch it and did, pressing her fingers gently against the smooth, wet surface. It was such an odd texture, but not at all unpleasant and she tickled it a little. The eye focused on her and blinked. Other students began tickling the squid while Hagrid told them a little about the squid and its feeding habits, including a particularly funny anecdote about when he was cleaning the snow one year and a tentacle had appeared out of the lake and swept him and the pile of snow he’d made into the lake. 

“Reckon squiddy was only trying to help mind you,” he finished while the students laughed. 

After a few more minutes of tickling the Giant Squid, the boats moved back towards the shore. Hermione was distracted, talking to Ginny about the squid and it was only when the first of the boats reached the edge that she looked up and saw that both Bellatrix and McGonagall were waiting for them on the shore. 

“Hagrid, that seemed like quite the interesting lesson,” McGonagall called out as they watched the students climbing out of their boats. 

“That is was, Professor. Squiddy made a nice appearance.”

Hermione saw Bellatrix’s lips twitch into a smile and tried to hide one herself. 

“Well, it seemed like everyone had fun. Professor Black and I were just having a meeting and I thought I might stay behind for one of our usual chats, if you’re free?”

“I am, Professor. I just have to finish this lesson, give the kids their homework and such, then I’ll pop the kettle on.”

“Excellent,” McGonagall clapped her hands together and smiled around at the students who were all now ashore. Hermione smiled back at her and received a wink from the headmistress. 

“Right, since the merpeople didn’t stick around for the whole lesson, I want an essay identifying all the known creatures in the Black Lake, including their classifications and how they all live together in harmony. Extra points for anyone that can include how the Black Lake differs from other water environments with similar creatures.” Hagrid cast a glance at McGonagall who gave him a subtle, approving nod. “Head back to the castle now then and have them ready by the next class. At least one thousand words mind you!”

“I’ll walk the students back,” Bellatrix announced, which earned several uneasy glances from the students. Ginny shot Hermione a wink which made her roll her eyes in response. Bellatrix’s eyes lingered on the pair for a split second too long. 

“An excellent idea, Professor. I’ll see you at dinner. Goodbye students,” Professor McGonagall gave them all a small smile, which earned her a few ‘goodbye professor’ responses from the students. Hermione hesitated as the other students began to walk and fell into step slightly ahead of Bellatrix; intensely aware of her being close. It didn’t matter how many times they argued, or Bellatrix had a bad reaction to a situation; she was still drawn to her without hesitation. 

The walk back to the castle felt long; the entire time she just wanted to turn around and as Bellatrix for a moment of her time, then hurry away with her to somewhere private. It wasn’t appropriate and they’d said they’d behave, but it didn’t hurt to think about it. It didn’t hurt to dream about her lips against hers…

“Granger,” Bellatrix’s voice startled her out of her musings and she turned around, Ginny also glancing back. “I need to have a word with you.”

Hermione glanced around but most of the students hadn’t even paused, desperate not to get caught up by their professor. Ginny shrugged slightly at Hermione and continued on, headed to their next class. 

“What is it?” Hermione asked once there was no one within hearing distance of them. 

“Does Weasley know?”

“What?”

“Does she know… about us?”

“No.” Hermione rushed to say, seeing that Bellatrix was concerned and a little stressed. “No; she knows I have a crush on you. I could hardly hide that. But she doesn’t know that we… that anything has happened. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“What does she know, aside from that you have a ‘crush’ on me then?”

“Well, she knows that I’m struggling to cope with it sometimes. She was there at Christmas, remember? She’s pretty observant; she noticed the way you behaved around me. She’s on the same vein as McGonagall, except I think she’d be fine if we just got on with it and…”

Bellatrix looked slightly amused as Hermione trailed off, blushing. 

“And what, Hermione?” Her voice was low, suggestive, and Hermione blushed even harder. She straightened her spine and fixed Bellatrix with a smouldering look. 

“I think you know exactly what I mean.”

A faint blush appeared along Bellatrix’s cheekbones and although her eyes narrowed, Hermione could see that Bellatrix had several ideas about that herself.   
“Well, I am surprised that Miss Weasley has an active imagination for such things.”

“I believe we sparked her creativity somehow.”

“Indeed?” Bellatrix glanced up at the castle, as though she expected someone to be watching them. “And how would we do that?”

“Must be all the tension in the air whenever we’re around each other,” Hermione smirked. 

“Tension, hmmm?”

“Yes. I find it’s quite palpable.”

“Which, I imagine, is why you have such vivid dreams.”

It was Bellatrix’s turn to smirk as Hermione blushed, remembering once more that Bellatrix had seen the beginning of her dream the other night, before it had turned into a nightmare. She hoped that not all of her dreams broadcast quite so loud, because she was sure that she’d had one or two that would even make Bellatrix blush like a tomato. 

“Well, my imagination has also been inspired. But unlike Ginny, at least part of mine is based on actual experience.” Hermione glanced around, ensuring they were actually alone. “I do, after all, know that your kisses are breathtaking.”

Bellatrix looked as though she wanted to remind Hermione just how breathtaking there and then, but with another glance at the castle seemed to restrain herself. 

“That reminds me. Our usual Saturday training; Minerva has said that if they are to continue it must be under her supervision.”

Hermione almost pouted, but she understood why. It really was in all their best interests for her and Bellatrix to keep their hands to themselves… for now. 

“I suppose I can see the sense in that.”

“Sense… yes.” Bellatrix’s eyes shone with amusement. “Although she said nothing about attending our research sessions. I imagine she thinks that we would be more cautious in the library.”

Hermione’s blush, which had been fading, returned with a vengeance. 

“Are you sure you’re the only one who has seen my dreams?” She coughed. 

“Well, I suppose anything is possible…” Bellatrix’s eyes shone with mischief. “But no. I’m sure that no one else has the same access to your mind that I appear to have.”

“I wish I could kiss you right now,” Hermione blurted out. Bellatrix blinked; surprised by the burst of honesty. 

“You are not the only one, my little lynx.” Hermione bit her lip and ducked her head, embarrassed at how much her heart warmed at the new nickname. “Speaking of our research, I would like to go through a few books I hadn’t managed to get to in the Restricted Section. I was planning on going tonight, after dinner. Care to join me?”

“I would love to.”


	35. Among the books with Bellatrix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to enter the Restricted Section...

Hermione knew that Ginny would want to go to the library after dinner; they had gotten into the habit of doing so as their exams drew ever closer. SHe wasn’t sure how she was going to explain disappearing into the Restricted section with Bellatrix. At the least, Ginny would make some cheeky remarks and suggestively wiggle her eyebrows. 

As they finished up dinner, Hermione’s brain slipped to Bellatrix again. She wondered which books in the Restricted section the woman wanted to look at and how long they would spend in there. Would it just be that one evening or would they need to spend several sessions in the library? What happened if there was nothing in the Restricted section? Hermione wondered, not for the first time, if Bellatrix had checked her own library and whether they could use it as an excuse to visit her home again. 

“You’re grinning like an idiot,” Ginny said, throwing a chip at Hermione, narrowly missing her head. Hermione rolled her eyes at Ginny an, after picking it up from the floor, threw it back at her. Ginny looked as though she were about to start a food fight but Neville grabbed her hand, gesturing discreetly at the top table. Both Ginny and Hermione, completely lacking in discretion, turned to look. 

Bellatrix and McGonagall were both watching them; Bellatrix with a smirk and raised eyebrows and McGonagall with pursed lips and another raised eyebrow. 

Hermione let out a snort of laughter before she could control it; she was so amused by the similarities between the pairs’ expressions. She looked back to her plate immediately, hooking a chip between her fingers and eating it with a big grin on her face. 

“Ok, seriously… something is going on that I don’t know about,” Neville said, looking between Hermione, Ginny and then the top table. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hermione feigned innocence while Ginny snorted. 

  
“Yep, totally; nothing going on,” Ginny’s grin reminded Hermione of the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland and she rolled her eyes as she laughed. Neville looked between the pair, puzzled. 

“Are you two up to something? Do I want to know?”

“Probably not,” Hermione cackled. Ginny’s eyes bugged and she laughed harder. She was still laughing as they collected their things. “Ginny, shush! You sound like a hyena. Neville, we’re headed to the library; are you coming?”

“Luna and I are meeting to study.”

“Mhmm, ‘study’,” Hermione winked and Neville blushed. Ginny’s laughter seemed to get a second wind. “Merlin, Ginny, someone is going to think you’ve been jinxed.”

They headed into the corridor and parted ways with Neville. The minute they were alone, Hermione whacked Ginny with her book. 

“Ouch!”

“Serves you right! Discretion; ever heard of it?” Hermione’s tone was tinged in amusement but she tried to give Ginny a convincing glare. 

“Couldn’t help it. I mean, aside from everything else, you fucking cackled Hermione. You sounded like her. What’s that thing muggles say about people looking like their puppies?”

“Oh, wow,” Hermione tried to hide her blush with indignation. 

“Hey, I’m not saying you’re acting like a puppy. I’m just saying you’re totally starting to act like her. I mean, the glare in class earlier, the raised eyebrows, the cackles; it’s so amusing when you know what’s going on.”

“Nothing is going on!” Hermione hissed. 

“Yet,” Ginny winked. “I ship it.”

“I regret teaching you so many muggle things.”

“No you don’t.”  
“Do.”

“Don’t.”

They arrived at the library and stopped their friendly bickering, knowing that Madam Pince wouldn’t allow them to take a step beyond the library door if they continued. Hermione shot a grin at Ginny before opening the door and they both slipped inside, searching for a spare table. Hermione dragged Ginny further into the library, wanting to be near enough to the Restricted section that when Bellatrix arrived, she would be able to see her. She still hadn’t worked out what her excuse would be but she hoped that Bellatrix might provide one when she saw Ginny had accompanied her. Maybe she should just tell Ginny that it was part of the training that she’d been doing? 

“Charms is killing me, I swear,” Ginny groaned quietly as she set out her work. “I love Flitwick, don’t get me wrong, but he’s hardcore when it comes to homework.”

“Hardcore homework with Flitwick; it’s got a nice ring to it,” Hermione teased and Ginny almost burst into laughter again, slapping a hand across her mouth in a bid to stop the sound. They heard a loud ‘SHHHHH!’ from a few stacks away and Hermione had to slap her own hand over her mouth to stop from giggling. “Shh, if you get us kicked out because of your giggles I will kill you.”

“Alright, alright,” Ginny rolled her eyes, setting up her inkpot and quill. “Alright, help me with this will you?”

They settled into study, Hermione looking over Ginny’s essay for her and realising that she had missed an entire part of her explanation about the uses of the charm they had been set. She slipped the book across to her friend and pointed her to the right section and then set about working on Hagrid’s latest homework. She wanted to get it completed this evening so that she could have more time free for Bellatrix, whenever she showed up. 

Hermione bit her lip, closing her eyes momentarily. She couldn’t explain it, but the idea of her and Bellatrix in the library together made her skin tingle. She rolled her eyes at herself. It was probably some stereotypical bookworm thing that Bellatrix would no doubt tease her about if she found out, despite the older woman being a bookworm herself. Hermione focussed on the essay, trying not to think about the fact that Bellatrix technically did know about her thoughts, since she had seen the dream a few nights before. 

She’d seen the dream and thought it was hers. 

Hermione shifted in her seat, shaking her head as she stared down at the parchment. She needed to concentrate but whenever she thought about the dream she inevitably remembered that Bellatrix had thought it was hers. That meant she had probably had similar dreams. What had happened in them? Had she kissed Hermione senseless in the library? Had she done more? Had they explored just how quiet they could both be among the stacks…?

Ginny kicked her under the table and Hermione jumped. 

“Ow!” She hissed, glaring at her friend. “What was that for?”

“You’ve turned into a tomato,” Ginny smirked. “I figured you were distracted.”

Hermione rolled her eyes, shot another glare at her and then returned to her parchment. This was not acceptable. Bellatrix should really not be this distracting. She’d never found Ron this distracting. Or Krum. In fact, while she had shoved Ron away during work, Krum had at least helped and been interested in her studies, more than distracting her. Bellatrix… she wasn’t even here and she was distracting her. But Hermione knew that the older woman would also help, be interested… Merlin, she really couldn’t concentrate. 

Taking a deep breath, Hermione stood and whispered to Ginny that she had to get a book. She slipped into the shelves and wandered among them, trying to pull back her focus. She ended up in a dark corner of the library, looking at the books on Magical Creatures, trying to work out which she should take back to use. Thoughts of Bellatrix kept trying to drift in but Hermione pushed them firmly away, grabbing two of the old leather books and heading back to her seat. She opened one and began to study, taking notes as she did, focussed at last. 

The candles were burning low; two hours had passed although it had not felt like it. Hermione was reaching her conclusion for the essay and Ginny had finished Flitwick’s work and jumped to Hagrid’s gratefully accepting the page numbers that Hermione had written on a slip of parchment for her that would help. Hermione yawned and glanced at the clock, seeing that it was half nine. She frowned. Bellatrix had not arrived yet. Putting down her quill, she stretched and looked around the library, hoping to catch a glimpse of the woman appearing through the shelves. Most people were packing up now; heading back to the dorms for the ten o’clock curfew. 

“We should probably go,” Ginny yawned, stretching too. “Tomorrow is a busy day.”

“You’ve got Quidditch practice straight after a full day haven’t you?”

“Yeah, only one study session. You?”

“Two free. I might come and study in the stands while you practice; if it’s nice weather.”

“Doubt it,” Ginny scoffed. “It’s set to storm over the weekend.”

“Tomorrow is friday.”  
“And the minute classes finish, it’s the weekend,” Ginny smirked. 

“... Alright, fair point.” Hermione watched as Ginny packed her things away, but remained sitting. “I think I’ll stay here for a while; I just want to finish this off.”

“Are you sure? Pince will be closing up.”

“She lets me stay late,” Hermione shrugged. “She trusts me.”

“Oof, she doesn’t trust me,” Ginny replied, pretending to be wounded. 

“That’s because of the time you snuck chocolate in here and it got on one of her books,” Hermione narrowed her eyes at Ginny, who flushed a little. At the time, Hermione had been as outraged as Madam Pince. 

“Right, yeah… that.” Ginny threw her strap over her shoulder, shuffling the satchel until it was in a comfortable position. “Alright, so I’ll see you tomorrow morning then?”

“Yeah, see you at breakfast,” Hermione agreed. 

Ginny had not been gone long when Madam Pince came over. 

“Miss Granger, working late again?”

“Yes; is that alright?” Hermione asked, knowing full well that the librarian had a soft spot for her. The librarian pretended to be put off by the idea. 

“Well… I suppose if you put everything back where it should be and don’t leave a lantern burning or something equally idiotic, you may stay.”

“Thank you, Madam Pince. You can trust me.”

The librarian nodded, less brisk than usual and then turned on her heel and marched off towards the library doors, checking the aisles as she did so to make sure there were no lingering students. Hermione sighed and returned to her conclusion. She was sure that there had to be a reason that Bellatrix hadn’t appeared. Perhaps she had decided that going into the Restricted section with Hermione while others were around might arouse suspicion, especially after their morning lesson. It didn’t take a lot for gossip to spread at Hogwarts. Hermione rolled her eyes and returned to the conclusion. She had only written a few more sentences when she thought she heard a noise behind her. She peered around; most of the candles had gone out and just the ones by the entrance and those around her remained. She strained her eyes, wondering if it was worth casting Lumos. 

Silence greeted her and she could see no shadows moving in the flickering candlelight. 

“Anyone there?”

She waited for a few moments and then rolled her eyes, turning back to her conclusion. She was getting too jumpy; if the war hadn’t been enough to do that to her, the past few months certainly had. She expected a monster around every corner, or at least it felt like it. 

“How many times has this been how your dreams started?”

Hermione’s heart almost leapt out of her throat and she cursed, narrowly avoiding dropping ink all over her essay. 

“Bella, you absolute ass, do you understand,” she turned to find Bellatrix leaning against the bookshelves, smirking at her, “how much of a heart attack I just had?”

“Oh dear. Perhaps I should give you medical assistance.”

Hermione’s heart rate was still pounding, but she swore it skipped a couple of beats at this. Had she fallen asleep in the library? Was this another dream? Oh Merlin, it’s another dream. Wake up. You cannot dream about her in the library. What if she hears the dream again? What if someone comes in and you’re moaning in your sleep? Wake up!

“I can’t have this dream right now,” she moaned, putting her head down on the desk. “I can’t. You’ll… real you, will probably hear it in her mind or something again and she’ll tease me forever.”

“Oh, will I?” Bellatrix’s smirk was audible. “Tease you for being naughty in the library; a proper bookworm fantasy?”

“Oh Merlin, please don’t. My heart can’t take this again.”

“It’s your dream; you’re in control.”

“I am? Right… yeah, see you’d think that’d be how it would work. But I swear if this ends in another nightmare just when it’s getting to the good part-”

“-and what good part would that be?”

Hermione looked up to find Bellatrix perched on the desk beside her, smirking down at her. 

“Oh come on, that’s not fair. How is my subconscious making you so…” Hermione paused, squinting. Then she poked Bellatrix’s hip, earning a slight chuckle from the witch. Hermione’s jaw dropped. “It’s not a dream is it? Oh my god, you actual asshole. You had me thinking…”

She dropped her head on the table again, mortified.

“Well, I was quite entertained by the idea that you might dispel your inhibitions,” Bellatrix said, poking her in the arm. “But I wouldn’t have allowed it to go too far.”

“What’s too far?” Hermione lifted her head, narrowing her eyes at the woman. 

“Well, I wouldn’t have had you pressed against the table with my hand down your-”

“-Woah ok,” Hermione blushed beet red and hid her face in her arms again. “Alright, I get it, we’re still teasing me about that dream, I get it.”

“You are delightfully fun to tease,” Bellatrix murmured and then Hermione felt finger’s trailing through her hair lightly, gently, as a comfort. “But I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Hermione stayed there for a moment, afraid that the touch would go away, which it did and all too soon. Sighing, she sat up, her face cooled somewhat. 

“You didn’t. Make me uncomfortable I mean. I like when you tease me I just can’t believe I fell for that.”

“Well technically, you were the one that thought it was a dream in the first place. I just played along and teased.”

“Oh you definitely did that,” Hermione groaned. She looked down at her essay. “You’re here to research?”

“I thought about disturbing you earlier, but then I realised that it would be terrible if your teacher encouraged you to stop working on actual essays.”

“I am ahead in everything.”

“Yes, bookworm, you are,” Bellatrix smiled and Hermione rather enjoyed being called a bookworm by Bellatrix; for once it was meant as an endearment and not an insult. “Still. I prefer that this be done without prying eyes.”

Her smile dropped a little and Hermione’s hand shot out, grasping Bellatrix’s to comfort her. Bellatrix squeezed it but released it a moment later, standing up straight. Hermione glanced down at her essay again. She needed one more sentence.   
“Finish it and meet me in the Restricted section,” Bellatrix said, placing a hand on Hermione’s shoulder gently before disappearing into the darkness. Hermione closed her eyes, shook her head and then returned her quill to the page. 

A few minutes later and Hermione was packed up and heading into the darkness of the shelves with her lantern in her hand. She reached the Restricted section, which was unlocked, and slipped inside, placing her lantern down next to Bellatrix’s. The older woman was poring over a book but looked up to meet her eyes. She already seemed less playful, darker, as though the shadows around them were pressing against the light her lantern had cast, trying to dim it and surround her. 

“How’s it going?” Hermione asked, putting her bag down. 

“It’s not. There’s never been anything like this as far as I’m aware, so why would there be anything written down?” Bellatrix’s response was sharp but then she sighed and looked at Hermione apologetically. “I’m so tired, Hermione. I’m so tired of failing.”

“You’re not failing,” Hermione said, stepping closer and carefully putting her arms around Bellatrix, giving her time if she wanted to reject the hug. Instead, Bellatrix rested her head on Hermione’s stomach and Hermione’s fingers went into her hair, stroking it, occasionally scratching her nails against Bellatrix’s scalp as she did so. “You’re doing everything you can for them when it’s not actually your fault that they are this way, no matter what you think. And you could have chosen to pass it off to the Ministry but you didn’t. You wanted to see if you could do the best for them in an impossible situation. I think that’s the most incredible thing.”

She stayed there because Bellatrix hadn’t moved, hadn’t spoken, just stayed there as she was with her head against Hermione’s stomach. She enjoyed the feeling of Bellatrix’s curls wrapping around her fingers as she stroked her hair; the feeling of her nails against her scalp. She scratched it more than she had intended to, simply because she knew that it felt good to her and she hoped it would to Bellatrix. 

A hand closed around one of her wrists as she scratched and she heard Bellatrix let out a breath before the woman looked up at her. 

“You’re going to have to stop doing that if we’re going to make it to the end of your schooling.”

“Oh. OH.” Hermione’s hands stilled and then released Bellatrix’s head completely; the older woman released her wrist as she stopped. Hermione blushed a little as she looked down at Bellatrix’s eyes; darker than they had been. 

“It’s alright.” Her voice was a little hoarser than usual but she seemed to be in control. Her lips even tweaked to a smile. “I just wanted you to know.”

“So, keeping my hands to myself might be a good thing, got it,” Hermione said, offering her a small smirk. “I really wasn’t trying to, you know… make you feel any particular way. I was just trying to comfort…”

“I know,” Bellatrix smiled and stood up, making Hermione step back a little to leave some small space between them, although she felt the bookcase press into her from behind. “You’re far too sweet. Sweeter than I deserve.”

“I think sweet is exactly what you deserve,” Hermione mumbled, so quiet that she almost thought Bellatrix hadn’t heard. 

“Do you have any idea how difficult it is not to kiss you when you say things like that?” Bellatrix murmured, stepping closer. 

“No,” Hermione whispered, although she did. She knew exactly how hard it was to be in a situation like this with Bellatrix and not kiss her. She could feel that battle inside her now.

“No?” Bellatrix’s hand cupped her jaw, her thumb skimming over Hermione’s cheek. “You don’t feel the pull? The way every inch of me seems to want to fuse with you and never be apart again?”

“I…” How could Hermione deny that? She felt it whenever they were together, but it heightened when they were alone, especially like this, close, alone and in the darkness. “Yes. I feel it.”

“And that voice that tells you that we shouldn’t, starts to get smaller and every other voice is telling you yes? Tells you to take what you desire most?”

Hermione’s eyes were lidded now as she lost focus on everything else, lost to the sensation of Bellatrix’s thumb raising hairs on her cheek, her breath against Hermione’s lips as the distance closed. Bellatrix halted a breadth apart as though that voice had made one final effort, but Hermione’s had been drowned out and she closed the gap, pressing herself against Bellatrix and feeling victorious as their lips pressed together. 

Bellatrix moaned into her mouth as she pressed her against the bookcase and Hermione’s brain melted. She allowed her fingers to tangle in Bellatrix’s hair again to ground her and give her the opportunity to scratch Bellatrix’s scalp again. Bellatrix’s hips pressed into her when Hermione’s nails scratched and Hermione moaned in response. She was dangerously close to trying to grind into Bellatrix but she restrained herself for the moment, trying to keep them in the moment, sure that any escalation would remind Bellatrix that they shouldn’t be doing this. She knew they shouldn’t, she knew that they should stop, but she had never felt as good as when Bellatrix’s lips were rough against hers and her hands were on her hips, holding her close. She knew, when Bellatrix’s tongue flicked over her lips, that they were close to reaching a point that they hadn’t before. Bellatrix’s hips pressed into her again and Hermione shifted a little, moving so that her legs were a little further apart. She wanted Bellatrix to slide her thigh between them, she wanted her so much. Bellatrix’s lips trailed over hers as they both breathed heavily and Hermione could feel it about to happen, but it didn’t make her ache any less when it did. 

“We should stop…” Bellatrix groaned against her lips, her fingers digging into Hermione’s hips as though she weren’t ready to let her go. “We’re in the library…”

“No one is here,” Hermione reminded her, although she knew it was fruitless. She knew that even she wasn’t going to let it go that far, even though her traitorous mouth didn’t seem to have quite caught up with the brain. Or maybe it was vice versa; she couldn’t be sure. She was still riding the delight that kissing Bellatrix brought. “Just one more kiss?”

“One more kiss won’t just be one more kiss,” Bellatrix’s fingers tightened as though she were considering it anyway; as though nothing would give her greater pleasure than to plaster Hermione against that bookcase and- “I can’t be trusted around you.”

“But-”

“-Don’t you dare use that smart mouth of yours to try to convince me otherwise. I’m liable to believe you and I will not have the strength to stop.”

Hermione chuckled, biting her lip and stroking Bellatrix’s hair a little before she dropped her hands to cover those on her hips. 

“Can’t resist me?”

“Who could, when you’re so sweet?” Bellatrix murmured, her thumb brushing over Hermione’s bottom lip, pulling at it a little. “I’ve always had a sweet tooth but I usually find the concept of people being sweet to me to be…”

When Bellatrix didn’t continue, Hermione leaned up and placed a soft, fleeting kiss on her lips before lifting the older woman’s hands from her hips and holding them instead. 

“I can’t help being sweet to you.”

“I don’t seem to mind it from you,” Bellatrix replied, looking down at their joined hands before squeezing Hermione’s gently. “I suppose that’s only natural; the way I feel about you.”

If Hermione’s brain had short circuited when Bellatrix was kissing her, it was nothing compared to now. She stared at the woman, unsure of how to respond, unsure whether words would even come from her mouth. Bellatrix being gentle, sweet and loving was something that Hermione didn’t really expect, especially after such a passionate kissing session. But as Bellatrix’s eyes dropped and she tried to hide a little, Hermione realised that the woman was indeed being all those things. 

“I feel the same,” she blurted out, squeezing Bellatrix’s hands between hers. Bellatrix lifted her head and a small smile lifted her lips before she leaned in and placed a slow, gentle kiss to Hermione’s lips. 

“We should get back to work,” Bellatrix murmured, her voice rough. “I should get you to bed before it’s too late.”

Hermione stared at her and Bellatrix’s eyes widened. Hermione burst out laughing. 

“Oh my god-”

“-I didn’t mean it like-”

“-I can’t believe you just said that-”

“-oh come on you said that thing about going back to your own rooms and not mine when McGonagall found us in the entrance hall,” Bellatrix defended herself, smiling in spite of the situation and the slightly horrified look on her face. “We hadn’t even kissed then.”

“But you fancied me then,” Hermione smirked. 

“I did not.”

“Yes you did.”

“You don’t know that.”

“You were flirting with me.”

“I’m a flirtatious person.”

“You only flirt when you want something, or someone,” Hermione countered, poking Bellatrix in the stomach and laughing at her. “You wanted me.”

“You are impossible.”

“Admit that you flirted with me.”

“Fine,” Bellatrix said, grabbing Hermione’s hands as she tried to poke the older witch again. She pressed her against the bookcase, her arms above her head. “I was flirting with you.”

Hermione gulped in their new position and Bellatrix smirked victoriously. 

“Um… Bella?”

“Yes?”

“Is this really going to help with research?”

“Depends what we’re researching,” Bellatrix smirked before releasing Hermione. “Now, stop distracting me.”

“Yes, Professor,” Hermione teased, smirking at her. Bellatrix glared at her and playfully swatted her as she tried to steal her chair. 

“Honestly, you’re impossible.”

“Made you smile though, didn’t I?”

Bellatrix didn’t answer, but Hermione saw her fighting to hide the smile on her lips as they sat and worked through the little stack of books Bellatrix had compiled. 

Half an hour later, Bellatrix closed the book she’d been reading with a snap, startling Hermione. 

“Nothing.”

“That’s ok. We have two weeks. Even if we don’t find anything, we’ll have done our best. That’s the point of this, isn’t it? To make sure we’ve done everything possible before calling in the Ministry?”

“Yes,” Bellatrix replied, but she looked defeated. She stared at the pile of books for a moment and Hermione let her, turning back to the book she’d been looking at and marking the page number in her notes so she wouldn’t forget where she’d been. “We should go to bed. Our own beds.”

Hermione smiled a little as Bellatrix clarified, practically hearing Bellatrix’s eyes roll in her skull like bowling balls. The image made her chuckle and she briefly entertained the idea of taking Bellatrix bowling and how she’d look in those borrowed shoes as she turned to face her. 

“Alright. When do you want to do this again?”

“I should give you time off and we’re training on Saturday. Monday evening?”

“I can do it tomorrow; I don’t mind.”

“Hermione… don’t let this consume you like it has me.”

Bellatrix’s voice was quiet but Hermione heard. They packed up in silence and each grabbed a lantern, heading towards the door through the dark columns of books. At the door, Hermione paused. 

“So I’ll see you on Saturday for training?”

“Yes. No class with me tomorrow.”

Bellatrix sounded almost sad. 

“I can always throw a chip at you at dinner or something,” Hermione teased. Bellatrix’s eyes gleamed and she chuckled. 

“And blemish your record with a detention? Doubtful.”

“I don’t know, apparently I’m a rebel these days,” Hermione smirked and Bellatrix chuckled again. 

“That you are, my little Lynx. That you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know. I get all these comments about how slow this slow burn is, so whenever that happens I just throw some random make out in THAT WILL NOT AMOUNT TO ANYTHING MORE just to toast you all a little before returning to cool temperatures. ;) I had a great birthday; thanks to everyone who sent me birthday wishes. And my wrist is ok, but writing this chapter today (yes, all written today except the first... 250 words?) has made it hurt a bit so I'll have to not clap with such evil glee during your next round of comments. As always, thank you for continuing to read this story.


	36. Game of Survival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some training from two powerful witches followed by the final Quidditch match of the year; Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this chapter has a bit of everything really. I literally can't say anything without giving spoilers. Suffice to say, I hand wrote this and then typed it up to rest my wrist. It's really long; had to be to fit all of this in. I could have split it but... eh. And it's complete on 14/08/20. But... I'm just letting it sit in drafts. Antici....

When Saturday evening rolled around, McGonagall joined them as she had promised. To begin with, she had only watched, occasionally correcting Hermione on her stance and once, Bellatrix. Hermione had chuckled as Bellatrix turned to raise her eyebrow at the Headmistress, allowing the youngest witch a chance to get behind her defences and defeat her. Looking up from the floor, Bellatrix had glared at both women, but her lips had twitched with amusement. 

“So, that’s how it’s going to be?”

Hermione had been so utterly defeated the next round that she had raised her hand in surrender and they took a break. 

“Well, I can see that you have improved in only a few short sessions, Miss Granger,” McGonagall said as Hermione sat beside her, a little sweaty and out of breath. Bellatrix leaned on one of the columns and watched them both, a small smirk on her lips.

“Thank you, Professor,” Hermione replied, ignoring the urge to roll her eyes at Bellatrix. “Bella’s a good teacher.”

“Yes, she is,” McGonagall was not disapproving although her lips were pursed; there was a hint of amusement in her eyes as they wrinkled and she looked at Bellatrix. “I always thought she would be.”

Bellatrix scoffed. 

“Oh please, you thought that I was the biggest pain in your ass at school.”

“I don’t believe that I said that you weren’t,” McGonagall’s lips twitched and Hermione watched her teasing Bellatrix in delight. “In fact I remember several occasions in which you almost earned yourself an expulsion.”

“Me? Never!” Bellatrix pretended to be offended. “I was an excellent example to my fellow pupils.”

“Mmm,” McGonagall hummed and Hermione bit her lip to avoid laughing out loud. “I believe that you got them into trouble more than you were a good example. But, most of your behaviour was born from boredom. It is easy to become bored when you are as smart as you are in a room of people who are not at your level. I believe that is something that you and Miss Granger have in common, although her record of getting into trouble is still significantly below yours.”

“Well, she still has the rest of the year,” Bellatrix smirked, glancing at Hermione. 

“Don’t encourage her.”

“Hey!” Hermione cried, sitting up straighter. “I’m right here.”

Both women laughed and McGonagall patted her hand fondly. 

“Yes, Miss Granger, you are. I notice that your observation skills have improved as well.”

Hermione’s mouth hung open momentarily as McGonagall teased her, while Bellatrix cackled at the look of disbelief on her face. 

“You should see yourself. She’s like this with me all the time, you know?”

“No wonder you like her so much,” Hermione shot back slyly and watched as Bellatrix glared back at her. 

“I have no idea what you’re referring to.”

“And all this time I thought you only tolerated me, Bellatrix,” McGonagall replied, winking at her. Hermione was overcome with joy, watching the two banter. 

“I do, Minerva.”

“You two are hilarious,” Hermione said, shaking her head, laughing. “You clearly care about each other.”

“Don’t know what you mean,” Bellatrix grumbled, although she shot a small smile their way. “If you’re ready to cause this much trouble then you must be ready for another round.”

“Why don’t we give her a demonstration?” McGonagall said, standing up and dusting down her robes. “That should be educational.”

“Oh, yes.” Hermione said, sitting on the edge of the sofa. “Please?”

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. 

“Fine.”

They prepared themselves and Bellatrix began. The women were evenly matched as far as Hermione could see; neither gave ground and neither seemed to be struggling to fend off the other. She watched them move around each other; Bellatrix was light on her feet and seemed to barely step while she moved, but McGonagall was more so, reminding Hermione of her cat form. Bellatrix’s movements reminded her of her wolf form, stalking, tracking, whereas McGonagall seemed to prowl. It was fascinating. Hermione felt privileged that she could see these two women show their skill, but even more so that she had seen both in their animagus form and could see the similarities. 

They soon began to work harder, both clearly aware that they could go on like this for a while. Bellatrix pushed hard but McGonagall pushed back and the spells flew around them continuously. Both seemed to be aware that she was there still, as while they deflected many spells, none came near to her on the sofa. 

Hermione found herself incredibly amused when McGonagall won the duel; sending Bellatrix’s wand spinning over her shoulder. Hermione jerked forward to catch it, fumbling and almost dropping it but succeeding in stopping it from hitting the floor. Bellatrix’s chest was heaving and she turned to look at Hermione, who smiled and handed her wand back to her. McGonagall smoothed down her robes and put away her wand. 

“Well, good to see I’ve still got it in me.”

“Well, you were the brightest witch of your age,” Bellatrix pointed out, raising her eyebrow. Hermione looked between them. Three women with that title in one room; she had never really thought of it that way but it was quite incredible now she had. She felt a sudden swell of kinship with the women; she had already admired and cared for them but it seemed magnified now. 

“My age has long been over, Bellatrix,” McGonagall smiled fondly and then returned to the sofa. “Now, come along. I believe we’re here to train Miss Granger, not to reminisce.” 

“What’s that saying? ‘There’s still life in the old bird yet’?” Bellatrix smirked and McGonagall shot her a shrewd glance of amused disapproval before gesturing at them both to get on with it. 

There were two more duels; Hermione lost the first and won the second, although she had a feeling that Bellatrix had been getting tired. She embraced her own exhaustion and asked for the session to be over, knowing that Bellatrix probably wouldn’t admit her own if Hermione wanted to continue. 

“Well, that was a most entertaining evening,” McGonagall said, standing and offering both of them that small smile that was reserved for people she was particularly fond of. Hermione brightened a little despite her whole body feeling drained. “I can see that they have been useful to you, Miss Granger.”

“Very,” Hermione nodded. 

“Well, I suppose I have no issue with them continuing. Just,” she paused as she headed to the door, looking between them, “try to behave yourselves, won’t you?”

Bellatrix coughed, nodding. Hermione blushed a little but nodded as well. 

“Yes, Professor.”

“Good, well, I shall retire for the evening, as should you both.”

She gave one last look between the pair of them and then left the room, leaving Bellatrix and Hermione alone together. 

“Well, that was interesting,” Hermione grinned at Bellatrix. “Do you find it’s almost like having your mum, or your grandma watching you?”

Bellatrix’s smile dimmed a little and she glanced down at her wand before slipping it up her sleeve. Hermione realised that she’d put her foot in it, but before she could apologise, Bellatrix looked back at her again. 

“I imagine that experience would be much less enjoyable,” she replied, but her tone was not as sad as Hermione had expected. “And besides, I could best my parents in a duel much easier than Minerva.”

Her eyes sparkled mischievously and Hermione grinned, relieved that she hadn’t upset her. 

“That doesn’t surprise me.”

“No? It surprised them.”

Bellatrix chuckled; her tone a little dark but nothing too bad. Hermione smiled and put a hand on the other woman’s arm. 

“I think you are incredible.”

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and her mouth split into a grin. 

“You’re just saying that because I’m a ‘distraction’.”

Hermione laughed at the reminder of what she had said near the beginning of the school year. It seemed so long ago now; so much had changed since then. 

“You are. But a very good one.”

Bellatrix smirked at her and then gestured to the door. 

“We should go. If we stay too long she might believe that we’re up to mischief.”

“Us? Never,” Hermione grinned before grabbing her bag and throwing it over her shoulder. They left the room and paused outside of it. “Monday?”

“Monday,” Bellatrix confirmed, her eyes slipping to Hermione’s lips briefly before they darted back up. 

On the way back to the Gryffindor Common Room, Hermione reflected on her evening. It wasn’t bad having McGonagall there for the sessions, although they were definitely on their best behaviour. Hermione didn’t really mind however; their most recent stint in the library had given her enough to dream about, quite vividly. She hadn’t had a chance to check whether Bellatrix had tuned into any of them, but she doubted it. She had begun to wonder whether that dream had been a fluke. 

On Monday evening, Bellatrix found her in the library and they searched through the remainder of the books, looking for anything that could help them with the creatures in the forest. There was nothing; not that either of them had really expected there to be. Bellatrix was dejected and Hermione wished that she could comfort her, but Madam Pince had stayed later in the library that evening and they felt as though every movement was being watched. 

Two days without any hint from Bellatrix about the continuation of their research left Hermione feeling as though the woman was giving up. It distressed her; she didn’t want this ending with Bellatrix feeling as though they hadn’t tried everything they could. So when, on Wednesday morning, an owl appeared with a parcel at the breakfast table, Hermione was surprised to find a note from Bellatrix attached. She frowned at the owl, recognising it as a school owl. Where was Hugin? Had Bellatrix not wanted it to be obvious that the parcel was from her? Most likely. Hermione opened the parcel and discovered several books inside. 

The note said:

These are from my personal library. I know that you will care for them.   
I have kept some and will study them. If there is nothing in these books,   
I am at a loss for any other avenue for us. 

B.

Hermione glanced up at the table and saw Bellatrix watching her closely. There was a hopelessness in her eyes and Hermione felt it pull at her heart. She could see no way that these creatures could be saved and given the amount of dead animals that Hagrid had told her and Ginny were showing up, closer to the edge of the forest, they were running out of time. The creatures were either expanding their territory or simply becoming less scared of humans. Either way; Hagrid had looked concerned and she could sense the stress building in both Bellatrix and McGonagall with every passing day of their two week window. 

Hermione spent her Wednesday and Thursday evening pouring over the books but found little that would help. They were interesting of course and she wondered if Bellatrix would let her keep them for a while to go over them in detail when they had more time. She had a feeling that the request would amuse and please Bellatrix. 

On Friday, with less than a week to go, Hermione caught Bellatrix after dinner. 

“Anything?” Bellatrix looked mildly hopeful, but when Hermione shook her head the expression died. “I did not find anything either. I am beginning to believe that we will have to admit that McGonagall was correct.”

Hermione nodded and glanced around, putting her hand on Bellatrix’s arm comfortingly for a moment before removing it; nervous that someone would see. 

“Possibly. But we have a few more days. Are there any books that your sister might have…?”

Bellatrix looked curiously at Hermione. 

“Cissy? Perhaps. I had not thought that she might help but… it is possible. She does try to avoid anything that ties her with Voldermort…” Bellatrix’s eyes flashed as she said his name. “But I shall visit her tonight and see what she has.”

“Back for the Quidditch match tomorrow though?” Hermione teased, as they began to walk down the corridor, trying to lift Bellatrix’s spirits. “Going to support Gryffindor?”

“Never. If Slytherin can’t win, I suppose Ravenclaw is a good alternative,” Bellatrix winked. 

“Shocking,” Hermione rolled her eyes. 

“Besides, if I supported Gryffindor, who would McGonagall be able to tease about winning?”

“Flitwick?”

“She doesn’t enjoy teasing him as much as she does me,” Bellatrix shrugged. 

“Plus if you supported Gryffindor, you wouldn’t be able to glare at Professor Pemble.”

Bellatrix faltered in her steps and glanced at Hermione, surprised. 

“Why would you say that?”

“Oh come on, everyone knows that you two don’t get along.” Hermione watched as Bellatrix frowned. “Why is that?”

“An old Quidditch rivalry,” Bellatrix shrugged, looking ahead and avoiding Hermione’s eyes. Hermione raised her eyebrow, not convinced. 

“Quidditch? Really?” Bellatrix’s posture stiffened slightly and she stopped walking completely. Hermione recognised the look on her face too late; this was not a subject up for further discussion, at least not now. “Sorry it’s none of my business.”

Bellatrix inhaled a steadying breath, one that Hermione unconsciously copied. 

“It’s fine, Hermione. Perhaps one day, we will discuss it further.”

Hermione nodded and just like that, some of the tension in Bellatrix’s frame evaporated. They began walking again, this time in a companionable silence. 

When Hermione stepped onto the stairs behind Bellatrix and they began to move, she thought nothing of it, until they both ended up in the corridor that housed the Room of Requirement. 

Bellatrix chuckled dryly as they passed it and Hermione smirked, remembering the previous Saturday. 

“Is McGonagall joining us tomorrow?” 

“Of course. We can’t be trusted on our own, afterall.”

Bellatrix’s amused expression only made Hermione’s smirk widen until she was chuckling. 

“Absolutely not.”

They might be joking, but Hermione felt the memory of their time in the Restricted Section send a tingle through her body and her laughter became a little strangled. Bellatrix glanced at her sudden blush and her lips curled. 

“You know, I used to wonder why you had been chosen for Gryffindor when you had the intelligence for Ravenclaw, or Slytherin. Then you began to get into all those situations with Potter and Weasley and I assumed that the hat had been aware of your bravery and penchant for making idiotic decisions in the name of ‘the greater good’. Now i wonder if the dusty, old thing knew that you being a Gryffindor would torture me just a little more when I started being drawn to you.”

“You really think the hat has powers of foresight?” Hermione snorted. Bellatrix rolled her eyes and shook her head. 

“I don’t know that I believe that. But if you hadn’t been in Gryffindor, who knows if you’d have been friends with Potter or Weasley; you might not have gone on those idiotic adventures and become who you are today.”

“You’re saying that everything happens for a reason.”

“Yes. Does that surprise you?”

“Honestly? Yes. I didn’t expect that from you.”

“I’m full of surprises,” Bellatrix chuckled, holding open a door for Hermione to pass through. “And you do not know all of me yet.”

“I look forward to it,” Hermione answered, glancing around to make sure they were still alone. “Getting to know all of you, I mean.”

The answering smile remained on Bellatrix’s face, even after the two went their separate ways for the evening. 

***

Hermione made her way to the Quidditch pitch amidst excited students. Neville and Luna walked beside her, their hands entwined. Hermione found them sweet and didn’t even tease them about it; she was so happy to see them in love. 

The crowd was roaring when they grabbed seats near the Professor’s stand and Hermione’s eyes tracked, as they always did, right to where Bellatrix sat. 

The older witch was engaged in conversation with McGonagall, her back to Hermione. McGonagall was listening intently and Hermione saw her give Bellatrix a warm and comforting smile before both were interrupted by Professor Pemble’s arrival, on Bellatrix’s other side. Hermione watched Bellatrix turn, her face coming into view with a dismissive and disinterested expression on her face. She rolled her eyes and then seemed to ignore the other woman; her eyes trailing over the stands. She caught Hermione’s eye almost immediately and sat up a little straighter. Her eyes glinted in amusement as Hermione smirked at her. 

Professor Pemble seemed to draw Bellatrix’s attention back to her, much to Bellatrix’s obvious distaste. Hermione’s lips shook as she held in her laughter. 

The game began and Hermione cheered loudly for Ginny and the rest of the Gryffindor team. Bellatrix’s eyes followed her, a small smile on her face that only McGonagall noticed. 

Ginny scored the first points of the game, throwing the Quaffle from an impossible distance to soar straight through the Ravenclaw Keeper’s hands and then the hoop. Hermione leapt up and cheered loudly, Neville and Luna beside her. Luna was waving two flags, supporting both houses and Hermione felt her heart swell. She hadn’t appreciated these moments before; not as much as she should have. Ginny sped past their stand, waving and they all waved back. The next points were also from Ginny; using the tail of her broom to hit the Quaffle through the hoop. 

An hour later, the score was tied and had been constantly close throughout the whole match. Hermione hadn’t realised how invested she was in the outcome of the match but she was on the edge of her seat. She knew how much Ginny had put into the team, hoping that this would lead to a professional career. She glanced at the Professor’s stand where several strangers sat amongst the teaching staff. She hoped that they were impressed by Ginny. Bellatrix was watching the game intently. When the announcer said that Gryffindor had possession of the Quaffle again, Bellatrix automatically glanced at Hermione and, finding her already looking at her, smirked. She lifted her hand and waved a flag; a Ravenclaw one. Hermione snorted and rolled her eyes. Bellatrix grinned and looked back at the game. 

Gryffindor was ten points up when the seekers spotted the Snitch and tore after it. Hermione and the rest of Gryffindor stood up, unable to keep to their seats. 

“Go, go Gryffindor!” The chat grew louder and louder and the two seekers tore over their heads in pursuit. Hermione gasped as she felt the wind rush past her and the crowd turned to follow the seekers path. A bludger flew at them; both players jerked swiftly apart and everyone winced collectively. 

The players regained their balance and sped after the Snitch again; Ravenclaw slightly ahead. Hermione held her breath as both hands reached out and grappled with each other; blue against red. 

A loud cheer went up and Hermione let out her breath. 

“Gryffindor wins!”

Hermione was deafened by her fellow housemates and added her voice to the mix as the Gryffindor seeker raised the hand holding the Snitch victoriously to the sky. 

Hugging Neville and cheering again, Hermione turned to look up at the Professor’s stand. McGonagall was congratulating Professor Pemble and Hermione watched as Pemble shook Flitwick’s hand, before turning to Bellatrix, who looked at her outstretched hand. Hermione’s breath caught as the women shook hands slowly, before turning away from each other as if they didn’t know the other. 

Hermione chuckled to herself, rolling her eyes as she made her way down to the pitch with the others. Ginny landed ahead of her and Hermione tackled her, cheering. 

“You won!” The announcer was confirming this, loudly, but she still said it anyway. “You won the Quidditch Cup!”

“I know!” Ginny grinned, wrapping her arms around her friend and embracing her hug. “That was the best game they could have seen!” 

“I know; you were so good!”

The team were beginning to be lifted in the air and Hermione had to release her friend as Gryffindors began to lift her up too. Hermione grinned and watched her friend be carried away by Neville and some others. Luna followed merrily. 

“Quite the match,” a voice from over Hermione’s shoulder caught her attention and she turned. “Your friend is an excellent player.”

A witch that Hermione vaguely recognised was standing behind her with Professor Pemble. 

“She is. She’s been a great Captain too,” she replied. 

“Well then,” the witch grinned. “I’d better see if I can catch up with her. Catch you later?”

Professor Pemble nodded and smiled after the woman as she headed off in Ginny’s direction. 

  
“Who is that?” Hermione asked. 

“Gwenog Jones, Captain of the Holyhead Harpies. They’re looking for a Chaser and I suggested Miss Weasley.”

Hermione stared incredulously at her. 

“You did?”

“Yes,” she replied, looking amused. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

“I just didn’t know that you knew her.”

“And why would you?” She raised an eyebrow and then seemed to relent. “Members of the ‘Slug Club’ receive invitations to socialise at least once a year. I only attended one at Hogwarts and met her there. I played Quidditch in school and professionally for a few years before an injury… We met there and then again when she had graduated.”

Hermione arched an eyebrow; Professor Pemble’s eyes had not left Gwenog Jones throughout her entire explanation. The younger witch smirked and looked at Ginny who was talking animatedly to Gwenog, who Hermione knew was her idol. 

“”And you’re such close friends that she came to see Ginny play at your request?” Hermione couldn’t keep the smile from her face, even as Professor Pemble looked at her with a raised eyebrow. 

“That seems a rather personal question, Miss Granger.” 

Hermione opened her mouth to apologise but was interrupted. 

“Professor Pemble, Miss Granger; I see that Miss Jones found our Captain.”

McGonagall, Bellatrix and Hagrid had appeared behind Professor Pemble; Bellatrix’s eyes were flitting between Hermione and the Head of Gryffindor, her eyes slightly narrowed. 

“She did,” Pemble replied, turning to look at McGonagall. 

“Excellent. I imagine Miss Weasley will have something else to celebrate tonight after that performance.”

Hermione looked over to her friend and grinned; that had to mean she was getting an offer!

“Well, she is talented,” Bellatrix said and when everyone turned to look at her, she shrugged. “For a Gryffindor.”

Professor Pemble rolled her eyes. 

“Given that Gryffindor have been the winners of the House Cup more times than Slytherin, you would think that you would change your attitude somewhat.”

Bellatrix glared at her and opened her mouth to respond, but McGonagall interrupted them. 

“Let us be thankful that we have such talented students, no matter the House, shall we?”

Both witches glared at each other, but said nothing.

“Hermione, looks like Ginny’s got somethin’ to tell you,” Hagrid grinned, gesturing over Hermione’s shoulder. She turned to see her friend running towards her with the biggest grin she had ever seen on her face. 

“She wants me, they want me!! The Holyhead Harpies!” Ginny was crying as she flung her arms around Hermione. 

“That’s amazing, Gin!” Hermione grinned, hugging her tightly. “You totally deserve it.”

“Congratulations, Miss Weasley,” McGonagall said. 

“Well done, Ginny!” Hagrid crowed as Ginny released Hermione; realising she had an audience. 

“Thank you,” she laughed happily, wiping the tears from her cheeks. 

“Gwen was very impressed by you,” Professor Pemble added. 

Hermione’s eyes fell on Bellatrix who was standing back a little as everyone swamped Ginny. She looked at Hermione, offering her a small reassuring smile when the younger witch’s brows furrowed slightly; silently asking if she was okay. When Ginny had pulled back from the hug that Hagrid had offered, Bellatrix turned a small smile on her. 

“Very well deserved, Miss Weasley.”

Ginny stared at her for a moment before clearing her throat. 

“Thank you, Professor Black.”

Bellatrix nodded, glanced at Hermione again and then turned to McGonagall. 

“I am headed back to the castle; shall I wait for you?”

“No, thank you Bellatrix. I shall see you at dinner; we can talk then,” McGonagall replied, smiling at her. “I have to present the Quidditch Cup, afterall and then I have promised to join Hagrid for a spot of tea and to go over some lessons.”

Hagrid offered her a big, grateful grin and nodded. 

“Dinner then,” Bellatrix said, glancing once more at Hermione and then Ginny. “Congratulations again, Miss Weasley. Miss Granger; I suggest that you take off tonight to celebrate with your friend. I’m sure that a night away from your studies will do no harm.”

Hermione’s heart fell a little; Bellatrix was cancelling their training and she had wanted to ask if she had found anything at Malfoy Manor. She opened her mouth to protest, but something in the way Bellatrix was looking at her stopped her. 

“You’re right; thank you Professor.”

Bellatrix nodded and then left the group, just as Madam Hooch appeared to give McGonagall the Quidditch Cup. As the Gryffindor players gathered around, Hermione caught Professor Pemble giving her an odd look. She froze a little; had her interaction with Bellatrix been revealing. Enough people knew there was something going on; she didn’t need another teacher being aware that their relationship was more than it was supposed to be. Pemble frowned and then her attention was called away by McGonagall presenting the cup to Ginny, amidst the cheers of the entire Gryffindor House. 

***

  
Hermione left Ginny to change and talk to her team, heading back up to the castle with other stragglers from the match. She intended to go up to the Common Room to keep an eye on any pre-dinner celebrations, but her feet carried her in the opposite direction. She realised, a little late, exactly where she was heading; she had been so lost in thought. 

It was the door opening further down the corridor that made her duck behind a statue, realising that she had no excuse for being there. 

“Just tell me I’m imagining things.”

“I said, get out.”

“Bella-”

“-You don’t get to call me that.”

There was a silence in which Hermione could hear her heart beating so loud that she thought the other women might be able to hear it. 

“I’m sorry for what happened when we were in school, Bella, but we were young. Why are you still holding onto that grudge? It was just a game.”

“Leave.”

There was an audible sigh and then Hermione had to flatten herself to the wall as Professor Pemble strode past. 

Hermione waited, long after she had heard Bellatrix’s door slam and Professor Pemble’s footsteps fade to nothing. She wasn’t sure whether she should knock on Bellatrix’s door or not; the conversation was obviously intended to be private but now that Hermione knew…

She decided to leave; she could always bring it up at another time. It sounded as though the grudge between Bellatrix and Pemble stemmed from their time at school and Hermione was sure that now was not the time to go adding stress to Bellatrix’s shoulders. 

She made sure that the coast was clear and decided to go down to the Hall for dinner. She was sure that by now Ginny and the team were inside and she wanted to celebrate with her. 

“There you are!” Ginny chorused as soon as Hermione appeared. “Saved you a seat.”

“Thanks Gin,” Hermione grinned, sitting down next to her. “So, the newest member of the Holyhead Harpies; it’s everything you wanted!”

“I know! I can’t even… Hermione, I don’t know how to even deal with this.”

“Enjoy it,” Hermione grinned. 

“Yeah,” Ginny grinned back at her, although it dimmed slightly. “I wish Harry could have come.”

“Oh… that’s right, he said he would try didn’t he?”

“Yeah… he said something unavoidable came up but that he’d try and meet us in Hogsmeade tomorrow; if you’re up for it?”

“Sure… if you don’t want to be left alone,” Hermione winked. Ginny laughed and gave her a shove. 

“We can behave you know.”

“Oh sure…” Hermione started to respond but her attention was caught by the sight of Bellatrix appearing at the top table. Ginny followed her gaze, smirked and elbowed her. 

“Alright lovebird; don’t make it too obvious.”

Hermione blushed and elbowed her back. 

“Shut up.”

“Mhmm,” Ginny chuckled and then pushed some food towards her. “Go on, get eating. I want to get up to the Common Room and start celebrating!”

Her voice raised at the end and the Gryffindor team all cheered. Hermione rolled her eyes, laughed and dug in. 

A few minutes later, the Hall doors burst open and everyone looked around as the wood slammed against stone, vibrating with the impact. Hagrid appeared, soaked from the rain that had begun to fall, his eyes wide and panicked. 

“Poppy!” His eyes searched the top table frantically, coming to a rest on Madam Pomfrey, who stood in alarm, along with most of the teachers. “Come quick; it’s Professor McGonagall.”


	37. Blood and Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we continue from the previous chapter. TW for slight mentions of PTSD/panic attack and blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...pation. 
> 
> Yes. This chapter was complete when I posted the last one. Yes, I waited this long to post it. I was going to wait longer. I am evil. It's something you should all know, although I'm sure you've worked that out since we've had so much McGonagall love throughout this and then I just went and did that in the last chapter. Mwahahahahaha. Yes; I cackle. If you're on the Bellamione Cult Discord, you know this. Enjoy! (If that's the right word)

There was a stunned silence that lasted for a few seconds before the Hall burst into action. Students rose in their seats as if to go into the entrance hall to see for themselves what was happening. 

“QUIET!” Bellatrix’s voice cut through the commotion and students froze; some half-way off the benches. “Stay in your seats!”

She began marching towards Hagrid with Madam Pomfrey and Professor Sprout in tow, while the other teachers began to take charge of the room. Hermione watched as Bellatrix’s pace picked up until she was practically running, her black skirts swirling around her. 

Hagrid led them out into the Hall and Hermione got up to help the teachers as Head Girl. 

“What do you think happened?” Ginny asked, anxiously. The uneasy buzz of discussion was building amongst the surrounding students and Hermione glanced around, seeing frightened eyes, trained on her. 

“I’m not sure.” It wasn’t a lie, although dread was flooding Hermione, like ice-water in her veins. McGonagall had been with Hagrid by the forest and she could only think of one thing that could scare Hagrid that much. “But I’m sure everything will be fine.”

She headed towards the doors, scolding students who were still trying to catch a glimpse through the door, which remained ajar. Hesitating in front of it, she turned round and gave the students nearby a raised eyebrow that told them to go back to eating or else. 

Sound crept through the door and she couldn’t help but lean back a little, desperate to know what was happening. It was made difficult by Professor Pemble beginning to talk to the students, asking them to remain calm and stay seated. Hermione tilted her head slightly so that her ear was closer to the gap in the door. The main sound appeared to be Hagrid, sobbing out broken phrases which she assumed were explanations for what had happened.

“...tried to… get there… faster. Picked her up and… carried her here.”

“What on earth was she thinking?”

Madam Pomfrey’s voice, choked but distracted, was barely audible. Hermione could hear spells being muttered and then a loud crash. 

“Bellatrix! That’s not helpful right now.”

There was a pause and Hermione could practically hear the tension in the Entrance Hall. 

“What can I do to help?” Bellatrix’s voice was tense, emotional and it sounded as though she were gritting her teeth. 

“We have to get her upstairs. The students will be wondering what’s happening…”

Professor Slughorn was approaching Hermione rapidly, followed by Professor Pemble and she straightened; trying to look as though she hadn’t been listening.. 

“Miss Granger,” Professor Slughorn nodded as he passed her, pushing the door open further to join the other Professors. Professor Pemble stopped in front of Hermione. 

“You can rejoin the other students, Miss Granger. Keep them calm and reassured.”

Hermione hesitated and nodded, then turned to head back to the table. As she passed the open door, she glanced through it and inhaled sharply, stopping in her tracks. 

Hagrid blocked most of her view, his shoulders shaking with sobs, but to his left she could see Madam Pomfrey kneeling down, her wand out. On the floor in front of her, there lay something that looked like Hagrid’s coat and on top of it, looking deathly pale and spattered with blood, lay Minerva McGonagall. 

Her eyes were closed, her head had rolled to the side facing Hermione, and she could see spots of blood across the lined skin of her face. Her cloak looked dark with it, almost brown against the green velvet and there seemed to be so much of it. Hermione’s heart felt as though an icy blade had plunged into it. A flicker of black caught her attention as Bellatrix appeared next to Madam Pomfrey. She looked paler than usual, stricken and Hermione knew why. There was only one thing that could make Bellatrix look so guilty. There was only one thing that could have done that to McGonagall.

“Miss Granger, I said back to your seat!” Pemble’s voice was sharp and loud and Bellatrix’s head snapped up to look directly at Hermione. 

Her eyes were dark, in turmoil; like a swirling storm on the darkest of nights. She looked horrified, desperate, and Hermione gasped. 

Professor Pemble blocked her view, glaring at her and Hermione winced, turning away and hurrying back to the table. Ginny, Neville and Luna were looking at her with concern as she practically fell into her seat. 

“What’s going on?”

“Did you see?”

“Is she ok?”

She waved them away, unable to get McGonagall’s pale and blood spattered face, or Bellatrix’s tortured eyes, out of her mind. 

“I don’t know what’s going on,” she lied, knowing that it would do no good to start talking about what she had seen now. Too many people were listening in and panic would set in; people reminded of the events of the previous year. 

“Didn’t you see? We heard Pemble telling you off-”

“-I didn’t see anything.” Hermione snapped and then buried her head in her hands. “I’m sorry.”

They stopped questioning her, but Ginny’s hand appeared on her back, rubbing comforting circles. Hermione was grateful but she didn’t move. 

It had to be the creatures. That was the only thing that made sense. They had left it too long, at Hermione’s insistence, and now McGonagall was paying the price. Her stomach twisted and she felt sick. This was her fault. The Ministry would have been called in if she had just agreed with McGonagall, instead of trying to get a little more time for Bellatrix to come to terms with the situation. How could this have happened? Had McGonagall been into the forest? Had the creatures come out? 

She began to panic; her heart rate picking up and her breathing shallow as the guilt overwhelmed her. 

“Woah, Hermione, calm down. It’s ok… it’s going to be ok.”

Ginny’s voice was soft in her ear and she tried desperately to get her breathing under control. Now matter how much she tried, her lungs seemed to act on their own; desperately trying to suck in air and only managing the shallowest breaths. She squeezed her eyes shut as hard as she could, focusing on breathing; only breathing. She could hear the voices of her friends and the general noise in the Hall but it was as though it were underwater; muffled and indistinct. She tried to shut out the thoughts that seemed to be pressing in on her; that this was her fault. Part of her realised that this must be how Bellatrix felt and her heart ached. Her whole chest felt tight as though she were being crushed. If she could only breathe a little deeper…

“Hermione, I need you to focus on me.”

The familiar voice cut through the others; clear and commanding but filled with warmth. Hermione sucked in a breath, still shallow, but it filled her lungs more than the others. The pressure eased a little. A new hand appeared on her shoulder.

“That’s it. Deep breaths. In… and out. In… and out.”

Hermione lifted her head slightly, glancing towards Bellatrix, whose face came into view close, but not too close, to her. Her eyes were reassuring and open; she took a deep breath in and Hermione unconsciously copied her. Another deep breath and then another and her chest began to ease; her eyes fluttered closed for a moment in relief. When she opened them again, Bellatrix offered her a small smile.

“Better?” She nodded. “Good. Can you stand? We should get you out of here for some fresh air.”

“I can take her, Professor?” Neville said and then let out an ‘oof’ when Ginny elbowed him. 

“That’s alright, Mr. Longbottom,” Bellatrix stood, offering her hand to Hermione, who took it and stood, still focusing on her breathing although it was coming easier. “I shall make sure Miss Granger is well and if not I shall deliver her to the Hospital Wing. Can you walk unassisted, Miss Granger?”

Hermione nodded and Bellatrix released her hand. Hermione felt regret; perhaps she should have claimed to be unable to walk. Bellatrix walked at her side until they reached the doors, where Professor Pemble still stood.

“Students should still be in their seats-”

“-Miss Granger needs some air and I know for a fact that the hall is clear now, so there is no reason for you to be in my way. Let the other students know that we’ll update them tomorrow but that everything is in hand and that they should go straight to their dormitories after food.”

Bellatrix’s voice allowed no argument and Professor Pemble stepped to the side after only a moment of hesitation. Bellatrix swept Hermione through the doors and didn’t acknowledge the other teacher again. 

The hall was indeed empty now; no trace of the scene that Hermione had seen remained. She stopped, staring at the spot on the floor where McGonagall had been and she could feel her throat constricting. Bellatrix’s arm slid around her shoulders and she pulled her towards the main door and outside. 

The rain hit them immediately, making Hermione gasp. She stepped back and pressed herself against the door, gaining some shelter, but losing Bellatrix’s arm in the process. She looked at her and then the tears began to flow. 

“Is she okay?”

“No,” Bellatrix admitted. “But Madam Pomfrey has handled worse. She may be fine.”

“How can she be…? There was so much blood.”

“Hermione,” she said, gently, raising her hand so that it hovered, almost cupping Hermione’s face. The younger woman sobbed and leaned into the touch and Bellatrix stepped forward. “She has the best care she could ask for in Poppy and Slughorn. Between the two of them, we have a team with the skill of a St. Mungos healer… probably better.”

“It’s my fault,” Hermione whispered. 

“What?”

“It’s my-”

“-No it isn’t.” Bellatrix’s eyes darkened and Hermione’s tears fell harder. They mixed with the rain and soon she couldn’t tell one from the other. “Let’s get you inside, next to a fire. We’ll talk.”

Hermione shivered and nodded and Bellatrix opened the door again, letting her slip inside. The hall was still empty, although they could hear a lot of noise from inside the Great Hall and Bellatrix gestured for Hermione to follow her. They crossed the stone and climbed the stairs; Bellatrix led her to her rooms without another word. By the time the door shut behind them, Hermione was shivering; more from the shock than the way her hair was plastered to her after only a few minutes outside. 

Bellatrix pointed her wand at the fireplace and the flames crackled into existence, giving the cold room a warm glow. Hermione shrugged off her damp cloak and Bellatrix took it, hanging it on the hook by the door, then gestured for Hermione to sit by the fire. 

“Would you like a drink? I have hot chocolate?” Bellatrix’s voice was soft and unsure; Hermione imagined that this was quite outside of her comfort zone. 

“Got any Fire Whiskey?” Hermione croaked; a half-hearted attempt at a joke. Bellatrix twisted her fingers. 

“Actually, I don’t. I’m not saying I’ll give it up completely… but no more drinking during term time.”

Hermione was faintly surprised, but warmth filled her at the way that Bellatrix had admitted to the change. She gave her a smile. 

“Hot chocolate would be lovely… thank you.”

Bellatrix turned to go to the kitchen, but not before Hermione had seen the blush tinting her cheeks. She padded over to the sofa and after a moment of deliberation, she slipped off her shoes and tucked her legs underneath her, staring into the fire. 

By the time Bellatrix returned with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate, Hermione’s tears had begun falling again; she was sitting with her knees tucked under her chin, with the firelight glinting in each droplet as it fell. 

Bellatrix sat next to her and Hermione glanced over, taking the mug appreciatively and holding the warm drink between her hands, feeling the heat rushing through her hands. A tear rolled off her jaw and into the drink with an audible ‘plop’, making her glance down and then inhale. 

“You can’t blame yourself,” Bellatrix murmured, facing Hermione; sitting sideways on the sofa with her own mug on her lap. 

“Sure I can,” Hermione replied, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve before gripping the hot chocolate again. “Why not?”

“Because it’s not your fault.”

“Yes it is.” Hermione’s voice trembled and she gulped, blinking hard to try and stop more tears from falling. “I begged her for more time. Right here. I wanted her to wait, so that you could-”

“-so that I could have every last opportunity to fix this. So I wouldn’t feel as bad if they couldn’t be saved because we’d tried everything. I know. Which is why the blame is not on you. If anything, the blame should lie with me.”

“No!” Hermione’s cup wobbled dangerously as she turned her head sharply to look at Bellatrix, whose eyes were dark and filled with turmoil again. “It’s not your fault! You’ve done everything you can to stop this and if I’d have just listened to her-”

“-Hermione.” Bellatrix’s voice was deep, soothing, and Hermione stuttered into silence, suddenly strongly aware that Bellatrix seemed to be fighting to keep calm. “Please don’t blame yourself. You’ve seen what carrying that can do to a person. What it’s done to me. Don’t let that happen to you, my little lynx. You are too good to hurt so much.”

Hermione’s tears began to fall again and she put down the hot chocolate on the little table beside the sofa, turning to look at Bellatrix and hesitating. 

“Can I hug you?”

Bellatrix’s chuckle was soft and she put down her own mug, slipping closer to Hermione. She wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into her; Hermione rested her head against Bellatrix’s shoulder and closed her eyes. She wasn’t sure where to put her spare arm and so she wrapped it safely around Bellatrix’s waist. Bellatrix stroked her hair as she cried, and though she was stiff to begin with, she eventually relaxed and placed a kiss on Hermione’s head.

“This is new for me,” her voice was low, cautious and rough and Hermione twisted her head, looking up at the other woman, who was staring ahead into the fire, apparently lost in thought. “Caring like this.”

“I know. I guessed, I mean.”

“Am I doing okay?”

Hermione smiled and nodded, burying her face in Bellatrix’s neck. 

“Yes,” she whispered against her skin. “You’re doing really well.”

She placed a kiss against the muscle and Bellatrix’s intake of breath surprised them both. Bellatrix cleared her throat and moved her neck away from Hermione’s lips slightly. 

“I know that Minerva… she means a great deal to you-”

“-and to you.”

Bellatrix hesitated and then sighed. 

“Yes, and to me. I can’t tell you all the thoughts that went through my mind when I saw her. But when I saw the expression on your face through the door…” She trailed off and her fingers ceased their movement in Hermione’s hair as she appeared to deliberate. Hermione peered up at her, willing her silently to continue. “I knew that I wasn’t the only one who would try to take blame. I heard your thoughts when you began to panic. I’ve never been so swiftly pulled out of my own spiral by a need to help someone.”

Hermione wiped at her tears and leaned up, placing a kiss on Bellatrix’s cheek. The older woman blinked and looked at her in surprise. 

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Sharing that with me.”

Bellatrix’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“I’m not the most open or supportive person. I just want you to know that you’re the reason I didn’t immediately march down to the forest when I saw what they’d done to her. Before… I would have. Now… I think about how you would feel if I got hurt. Because I know how I’d feel if you were.”

Hermione’s heart fluttered and she stared at Bellatrix through tear-filled eyes, before leaning close and dropping a gentle kiss to her lips. 

“I know how you feel.”

Bellatrix’s hand cupped her face and her thumb wiped at Hermione’s tears, bringing her face closer. 

“It really isn’t your fault, Hermione.”

Hermione sighed and looked down, closing her eyes. 

“I just can’t help but feel guilty. She wanted to call in the Ministry. It was them, wasn’t it? The… creatures? They did this?”

“Yes. There is nothing else that could have. I’m... familiar, with the marks they leave.”

Hermione’s eyes trailed over Bellatrix’s shoulder where she had seen her injury on that first night, when all of this had begun. 

“Tell me the truth,” Hermione’s eyes glistened as her tears threatened to spill over again. “Will she really be okay?”

Bellatrix sighed and stroked her fingers through Hermione’s hair; tucking strands behind her ear. 

“I can’t promise that. Her injuries weren’t as bad as some we saw on survivors of the war, but Minerva is old. She might be a strong, intelligent, capable and stubborn woman, but we cannot deny her age. Such an attack… everything rests on her care and how strong she is.”

“What if… what if she doesn’t make it?” Hermione gulped as a large, salty tear rolled over her cheek and traced the edge of her lips. Bellatrix watched it and brushed her thumb over Hermione’s bottom lip, collecting it. 

“Then we deal with that. We mourn. We honour her memory.”

Hermione shook her head. 

“I can’t lose someone else. Not this soon. Not… I can’t.”

“I know…” Bellatrix’s thumb soothed her cheek. “I know.”

***  
Hermione was hazy; she could feel that she was warm and comfortable, if a little stiff. Firelight flickered against her eyelids and they fluttered in response, before she yawned and opened her eyes blearily. It took a moment, but she realised that she recognised the room and almost jolted upright, only stopping when she felt fingers stroking her hair. 

“Hello, little Lynx.”

She twisted her head, looking up, and realised that she had her head on Bellatrix’s lap. The older witch was smiling that small, contented smile she seemed to reserve for Hermione and her fingers stilled in Hermione’s hair. 

“I… I fell asleep?”

“You cried until you were exhausted,” Bellatrix murmured. “I didn’t want to move you; you deserved the rest.”

Hermione twisted a little to lie on her back, looking up at Bellatrix, who removed her fingersr and just smiled. 

“I’m sorry.”

“There is no need to be sorry, Hermione. You needed to cry, I think, and I was happy to be here for you. Although I couldn’t help thinking that I might have been the cause of some tears over the last few months?”

“No… well… perhaps a few.” Hermione admitted, sitting up slowly and pushing off the blanket that Bellatrix had put over her. Her heart warmed at the thought. “But it’s been worth it.”

“Has it?”

Her voice was quiet and a little unsure. 

“Yes,” Hermione reassured her. Bellatrix smiled and picked up the mug of hot chocolate that Hermione had abandoned before. It was still piping hot; one of the benefits of magic. “Thank you. How long was I asleep for?”

“Just a couple of hours. It’s not past curfew yet.”

Hermione sipped at the hot chocolate and hummed appreciatively. 

“Is there cinnamon in this?”

“Yes. I like it, but if you don’t, I can-”

“-No, I love it. Thank you.”

Bellatrix’s smile lit her face and Hermione’s heart ached. 

“I’ve always liked it, ever since I was a child,” Bellatrix admitted. 

“That’s sweet.” Hermione smiled and sipped at it again. It really was lovely. She watched as Bellatrix’s smile hovered on her face as she stared into the fire; watched as slowly the curve of her lips flattened and her eyes darkened. “Hey… what’re you thinking?”

“Just… Minerva and I have drinks sometimes and talk about things. Just.. anything that might be in our minds. Sometimes it’s about something that happened in one of our classes, or a particular memory. Sometimes we talk about the wars. I can’t imagine that not happening anymore.”

Hermione chewed her lip. 

“Well, like you said, she has the best care. I’m sure she’ll be back to herself in no time.” Bellatrix nodded, but Hermione could tell that she was doing it more to comfort her, than herself. She finished off the hot chocolate and put down the mug, reaching out for Bellatrix’s hand instead. Bellatrix watched her with soft eyes as she lifted the hand to her face. Hermione pressed a kiss to her palm and watched as the older woman sat up a little straighter. “You could go and visit her? Take her some tea and her favourite biscuits?”

“I could tell her to be as stubborn as she usually is and get back on her feet,” Bellatrix chuckled, blinking as though trying to clear tears. 

“If nothing else, she’ll summon enough energy to tell you off for that,” Hermione grinned. “Maybe even beat you in a duel again.”

“She did not beat me,” Bellatrix said, raising her eyebrow. 

“She kind of did.”

Bellatrix huffed but didn’t argue. At any rate, her mood seemed to have lifted a little. Hermione smiled and stroked her fingers through Bellatrix’s hair, pushing some loose strands out of her face. 

“You should go to your Common Room,” Bellatrix admitted after a moment, although she was leaning into the touch as though she didn’t want it to end. “Your friends will be worried and you shouldn’t actually be in here, although we apparently are unable to stop breaking rules.”

“Well, it’s very difficult to resist being around you as much as possible,” Hermione teased. Bellatrix didn’t chuckle however, only turned her head and pressed a kiss to Hermione’s palm, where her fingers were still buried in chaotic curls. 

“I know the feeling.”

***

When Hermione opened the portrait to the Gryffindor Common Room, she was confronted by tear-stained cheeks and worried eyes from every angle. Students looked at her, a glimmer of hope appearing in their faces, as if they thought she might have the answers to questions left unanswered. Hermione felt her stomach twist; she had spent the last few hours thinking about McGonagall, herself and Bellatrix and hadn’t thought about how this might affect others. 

Ginny was beckoning for her to join them from the fire and she crossed the floor, seeing other students moving a little closer in preparation; to hear what she had to say. 

“Where were you?” Ginny asked, her face filled with worry. “What happened?”

“I’m fine. Black took me for some air and then to- ” Well, what could she say? Hardly the truth and she couldn’t say the Hospital Wing either, or everyone would think she’d seen McGonagall. “- a room where I could calm down.”

“But you’re okay now?”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine,” Hermione reassured her and Neville, who was sitting across from her looking equally worried. “It was just… a lot.”

“Yeah. I mean, Pemble told us all that McGonagall was being taken care of in the Hospital Wing and that they’d tell us more tomorrow, but now we’re all wondering who, or what, could take on McGonagall? I mean, she might be old but she’s still one of the best witches I’ve ever seen. We saw what she did in the war…”

The hum of conversation around them had gotten quieter and Hermione glanced around to see most students trained on their conversation. She frowned and some of them had the decency to look ashamed. 

“Listen,” Hermione said a little louder, aware that she had her Head Girl duties to take care of. “The teachers have told us not to worry and that they’ll update us tomorrow. I think the best thing for us all to do is to get an early night and make sure to head to breakfast, ready to hear whatever they have to tell us.”

The hum of conversation grew but most seemed to be in agreement, however reluctantly, so Hermione felt like she could relax a little as some students began to drift towards their bedrooms. 

“Do you really believe that?” Neville asked in a low voice, avoiding prying ears. “I saw your face after you’d been by the door ‘Mione. You heard or saw something.”

“I can’t tell you any more than I have,” she replied, shooting a look at Ginny. “All I know is that McGonagall obviously needs medical attention and that, in the hands of Madam Pomfrey, that’s exactly what she’ll get. Anything else will come from the Professors tomorrow.”

“You know something else though?” Ginny asked, her voice quiet too. “Something you can’t tell us?”

Hermione hesitated and then gave the slightest nod, hoping that her friends would drop it and respect her silence. Thankfully, she was correct, although they didn’t seem too joyful about the situation. 

“It must be bad if you can’t tell us.”

“I can’t.”

They sat in silence for a while, watching students drifting towards their rooms. The air was uneasy and Hermione doubted that many people would actually be able to sleep. All thoughts of celebrating their victory in Quidditch had gone from their minds and they were left instead with only concern and doubt. 

The sound of the portrait opening surprised Hermione; she had assumed that she was the last student to return. She peered around the edge of the chair she was sat in and gasped. 

“Harry!” Ginny cried and jumped up from her seat, running across the room and flinging herself into Harry’s arms. He caught her and hugged her, his eyes meeting Hermione’s across the room. She got a sudden sense of foreboding and stood with Neville, walking over to him. “What are you doing here?”

“I got called in,” Harry said, his voice low, glancing around him. “With what happened to McGonagall.”

Hermione studied his face and saw that he knew exactly what was going on. 

“How long have you known?” She asked. 

“A few hours,” he replied, glancing between them all; from Hermione to the confused looks on Ginny and Neville’s faces. “I don’t have much time; I have to go and speak to the Professors about a plan of action. But I wanted to come and see you all; make sure you were alright.”

“We’re okay,” Hermione said. “A little shaken and worried, of course. No one knows what’s happening.”

Harry seemed to understand that she hadn’t explained what was going on to anyone and she was glad that he didn’t ask how she knew in the first place. 

“Well, that’s to be expected. I think the Professors are planning to talk to you all at breakfast, so I will see you then.” He turned to Ginny. “I heard you won.”

“We did,” she replied, her smile small but proud. “The Holyhead Harpies want me. Doesn't seem very important now though…”

“I’m so proud of you,” he grinned, pressing a kiss to her lips. Ginny flushed and her grin became bright. 

“Thank you.”

“I have to go, but talk to you all tomorrow, when we know more?”

They all nodded and with a goodnight kiss for Ginny and a hug for Hermione and Neville, Harry was gone. 

“Whatever it is,” Neville said as they climbed the stairs to their rooms. “It must be bad if the Aurors have been called in.”

Hermione remained quiet, but she could sense the concern building in her friends, and she couldn’t help but feel that nagging doubt in her stomach again, that told her that this was her fault.


	38. The Arrival of the Ministry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slughorn tells the students about McGonagall and the Ministry are here to deal with the creatures. Ginny gets a few revelations.

Breakfast was a silent affair with all students waiting anxiously for an announcement. The top table was practically empty, with only a few teachers like Madam Hooch, Professor Flitwick and Hagrid seated. The tension hung in the air, thick and unrelenting; Hermione felt like she would choke on it. 

The tables were prone to the occasional whisper; all students wondering where the other teachers were and when the announcement would come. They wondered what had happened to McGonagall; of course Hermione knew but she couldn’t tell anyone. They wondered what was going to happen; Harry had told their little group that he was here to deal with the situation, but none of them really knew what that meant either. Hermione knew, of course, that Harry meant they would be dealing with the creatures, but she didn’t know how. She assumed that they would be killed and right now, with the image of McGonagall on the floor, pale and covered in her own blood, she couldn’t bring herself to care. 

A small part of her remembered that Bellatrix still did and that was the only reason that she had spent a fitful night wondering what other solutions there might be to the problem. She had failed and fell into a listless slumber; plagued by nightmares that she hadn’t had in a while. 

It was a strange way to begin the month of March; usually the hope of spring brought new life into the castle. Instead, the memory of death and war seemed to have resurfaced, tainting everything in a gloom that made the morning seem as dark as the clouds that were mirrored in the ceiling above them. 

“I can’t stand this much longer,” Ginny murmured, poking at her eggs with her fork. “When are they going to clue us in? It’s not like we’re kids; most of us have been through a war for Merlin’s sake.”

The fork clattered to the plate as she dropped it, startling all the students around them as it was the loudest sound there had been for a while. Ginny glanced around, wincing, before returning her stare to Hermione. A tension had hung between them since the previous evening and although they had laid in bed together for a while, both unnerved, Ginny had left for her own bed silently around one in the morning and Hermione hadn’t asked her to stay. She could sense that Ginny knew that Hermione was aware of more than she was telling her and the fact that she wouldn’t share it had hurt her friend. She could do nothing though; somehow the words wouldn’t pass her lips and the guilt that she might have had something to do with McGonagall’s current state still clung to her, despite what Bellatrix had said. 

She sighed and pressed her lips together, unable to take another bite of the croissant in front of her. It had seemed like a good idea to eat; be a good example to the students who looked up to her. But she felt as they all did and worse; her stomach was too twisted in knots to consider more than a bite. 

The sound of a door opening echoed through the hall, seemingly magnified in the silence. Every student’s head turned, like some kind of grim mexican wave, and they all watched as the missing teachers appeared, one by one. Madam Pomfrey and of course, McGonagall, were noticeably missing, but the others stopped at their seats and sat. 

Hermione’s gaze was fixed on Bellatrix, who seemed tightly wound and paler than usual. Hermione's stomach sank. Surely McGonagall wasn’t… she couldn’t be… Bellatrix did not look up; did not look for her gaze. 

Professor Slughorn had remained standing. His face looked more lined than it had before; extra worry lines seemed to have creased his forehead. He looked out at the students waiting anxiously for an update, his hands clasped in front of him. 

“Dear students, we are aware that you must all be anxious for an update. Last night, a terrible incident happened at the edge of the Forbidden Forest to our most beloved Headmistress.” He paused, looking down the table at his colleagues. The room seemed to collectively hold their breath. “We are very sorry to have kept you in the dark. Madam Pomfrey assures me that she is doing her best to help Professor McGonagall to recover but in the meantime, she insists that there are to be no visitors as she is not conscious and wouldn’t know the difference.”

“For Merlin’s sake, tell us what happened already!” The voice came from Slytherin and everyone looked over, trying to work out who had shouted. Professor Slughorn fixed his house with a sympathetic frown before continuing. 

“There are some inhabitants of the forest that we, as wizards and witches, do not have a good relationship with. The creatures that attacked Professor McGonagall are not ones that usually come so close to the castle grounds, but are one of the reasons that our Headmistress warned everyone at the beginning of the year to stay away from the Forbidden Forest.”

The door at the back of the teacher’s table opened again and Harry appeared, followed by a group of around ten Ministry officials who lined the wall looking imposing. Hermione scanned them nervously; Ron was not among them. 

Harry nodded at Professor Slughorn who turned back to the students to continue his speech. 

“As you have just seen, the Ministry has kindly sent some of their best members of their Aurors and Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures to assist with these creatures. They have been deemed too dangerous to be in such a close proximity to humans and will be removed… if possible.”

Hermione’s throat constricted further and she looked towards Bellatrix, whose fists were visibly clenched on the table. She felt Ginny turning to look at her and forced herself to look at her friend instead. 

“You knew?” Ginny mouthed. 

Subtly, not wanting to alert the students around her, Hermione nodded. Ginny’s eyes widened. 

“For now, we would ask all students to remain inside until we can assure you that the danger has passed. Please continue to go to classes as normal; the first ten minutes of your first lesson today will be dedicated to any questions you might have. Thank you.”

The moment that Professor Slughorn sat down the hall burst into noise. Hermione winced a little and looked across at Bellatrix again. She was unmoving; her jaw tight and her eyes staring a hole into the table so hard that Hermione was surprised that it hadn’t exploded. She caught sight of Harry moving behind them before Ginny grabbed her hand, pulling her focus. 

“Do you think we ought to have a catch up?”

Her stare allowed for no argument and so Hermione got up, ignoring the curious looks from people around her and followed Ginny away to the corner of the room, surprised when Ginny didn’t choose to leave completely. 

“We should probably-” she started to suggest that they relocated but Ginny turned, stopping with her back almost against the wall and pulled Hermione near to her. 

“How long have you known about these… creatures, whatever they are?”

“Not long.”

“What’s ‘not long’?”

“Less than a month,” Hermione hesitated, biting her lip. “That’s how long I’ve known specifically, what they are…”

“You know what they are?”

“Yes.”  
Hermione couldn’t work out whether Ginny was more angry, hurt or shocked. 

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“I swore not to and… they shouldn’t have been a danger. They’ve never come this close to the castle before, I-”

“-Hermione, I’m your friend. Your best friend! How could you not tell me?” Ginny hissed through her teeth. “Did… did McGonagall know?”

“Yes. Of course. She… she told me quite a bit about them and the situation.”

Ginny studied her, eyes turning sad. 

“Black told you the rest, didn’t she?” Hermione hesitated, but nodded. “You two are closer than I thought, aren’t you?”

Hermione opened her mouth to respond but Harry had appeared beside them. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” He looked anxiously between his girlfriend and best friend. “Half the hall is watching you two having a whisper fight.”

Hermione looked over his shoulder and most people had the decency to look away, embarrassed at being caught. She saw Neville and Luna still watching them still and dragged her head back to Ginny and Harry before she could look up at the top table. 

“Hermione’s known about the creatures that attacked McGonagall for a month; more if you don’t count the clarification!” Ginny’s hiss was more hurt than angry now and Hermione felt a small wave of relief rush over her. 

“Technically Ginny, you did too. Hagrid told us that something was going on in the forest,” Hermione replied calmly, hoping that she could talk Ginny down enough for them to find somewhere less public to have this discussion. Harry, thankfully, was now blocking them from prying eyes. 

“Gin, you wrote and told me about that.” He added, putting his hand on her shoulder. “I sent McGonagall an owl after that, just checking whether everything was ok. I wondered if there were still death eaters in the woods, living on rabbits, but it sounded too animalistic. She wrote back and told me the situation a week ago.”

Hermione and Ginny both stared at him. 

“She did?” Hermione managed to stutter.   
“Yes,” he replied, his shoulders slumping a little. “Let’s go out into the Hall. We can talk better there.”

With a glance up at the table, Hermione followed her two friends. Bellatrix was no longer there and Hermione felt her heart clench. When the door closed behind her, Harry checked that they were alone and continued.

“I told her that we could come right away but she asked for another week…”

“... for research.” Hermione finished. He nodded. 

“She filled me in on some of the situation; where they came from and everything,” he muttered to Hermione, looking nervous about her reaction. She swallowed, hard. “I told her it would be best if we came straight away but… it’s my fault. I should have insisted but you know what she’s like.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I asked for two weeks to research, I-”

“-You both knew.” Ginny’s voice cut through them. “And you’re both blaming yourselves for what’s happened?”

They both nodded slowly, glancing between each other and at Ginny. 

“And where does Black tie in with all of this?”

“How do you know-” Harry started, but was cut off. 

“I just do.” She looked at Hermione who inhaled and released a sigh. 

“She’s been trying to find a solution to the problem for months. You know she was missing at the start of this term? She got injured,” Hermione admitted. “She’s been trying to find a way to solve it without getting the Ministry involved and they were avoiding the Castle Grounds at that point so…”

“Why not just call the Ministry in and have them deal with it?” Ginny asked. 

“Because I blame myself, Miss Weasley.” Bellatrix’s voice cut through the stillness of the Entrance Hall as she emerged from behind a statue. “And it is, after all, partially my fault.”

“It is not,” Hermione cut in, her surprise at Bellatrix’s appearance disappearing as she jumped to her defence. “It’s not your fault.”

“Hermione-”  
“Hold up.” Ginny stopped, staring at them, cutting Bellatrix off. “Are you telling me that the three of you are going to stand around blaming yourselves for what’s happened to McGonagall? I don’t know the full story but even I know that if she went near the forest knowing what it contained then she at least thought she could handle herself well enough. If she got hurt out there, as good as a witch as she is, then they’ve got to be pretty bad. It’s clearly a horrible accident and there’s no use in standing around trying to assign blame!”

They all stared at her in the aftermath of her outburst, until a small chuckle broke through Bellatrix’s lips. They all looked at her surprised. 

“I’m sorry, I just… I believe that’s the first time that Miss Weasley has been able to string more than a sentence together in front of me without stammering.”

Ginny blushed bright red and Hermione let out a little chuckle too, automatically leaning closer to Bellatrix so that their arms brushed lightly, separated by their clothing. Harry raised his eyebrow and smirked, but didn’t say anything. Ginny on the other hand, looked between the pair as Bellatrix leaned away. 

“So… are there any other secrets that I should know about?”

It was Hermione’s turn to blush and she glanced at Bellatrix whose expression had stiffened slightly. 

“I’m sure if there were, now might not be the time, nor place, to tell them.”

“Yeah. I mean… there’s a lot going on right now,” Hermione added, looking back at Ginny and hoping that she would forgive her. She suddenly realised just how many secrets she had been hiding from Ginny; she wasn’t sure how she could tell her them all without feeling like she had been a terrible friend. Perhaps she had. 

“Ok. Just as long as I get the juicy details afterwards,” Ginny grinned and watched as Hermione and surprisingly, Bellatrix, both shifted their feet and looked at each other apprehensively. “HA! I knew it. There are juicy details.” 

“Another time, another place,” Bellatrix reminded sternly, and Ginny suddenly looked mortified, apparently having just remembered who she was talking to. 

“Oh… right, yes. Sorry, Professor Black.”

Hermione saw the slightest smirk on Bellatrix’s lips before she turned seriously to Harry. 

“Are you and the others ready?”

“I’ll let them have breakfast first. Get their strength up. You should too.”

Bellatrix shook her head. 

“She doesn’t really eat breakfast,” Hermione murmured, more to herself than to Harry, but they all looked at her just the same. Bellatrix’s eyes softened and Hermione saw Harry and Ginny smirking out of the corner of her eye. 

“Only on occasion.” Bellatrix murmured. “If I’m particularly hungry.”

Hermione blushed and Ginny snorted, hiding her mouth behind her hand. 

“Oh my god, it’s like Christmas all over again,” she whispered to Harry, but Hermione and Bellatrix heard it anyway. 

“Miss Weasley,” Bellatrix said sternly, but her voice held no real bite. 

“Right, right, sorry. Harry, do you want to come and tell me what the hell is actually going on? I think these two need to have a conversation.”

“Sure,” Harry chuckled, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Black; see you in half an hour?”

“I’ll be here, Mr Potter.”

They watched Ginny and Harry disappear up the steps, most likely heading to the Gryffindor Common Room while everyone was still in the Hall. Hermione smirked and opened her mouth to make a comment when Bellatrix’s hand closed around her wrist, pulling her as she moved. 

“Woah, where are we-” 

“-Somewhere more private, Hermione.” Bellatrix replied firmly, practically dragging her along. Hermione was reminded of the time she had been pulled through the grounds; how close had the creatures been then? Had they been closer than any of them realised the whole time? 

Bellatrix opened a small door and pulled her inside; Hermione almost fell against her as she realised that they were in a small storage cupboard. 

“Couldn’t have picked a bigger room?” She mused, raising her eyebrow at Bellatrix, who rolled her eyes. 

“Miss Weasley knows. So, it appears, does Mr. Potter.”

Hermione searched her face, trying to work out if she was angry or not. Bellatrix’s face was a mask; Hermione decided to play it safe. 

“They are aware that I have a crush on you. More than a crush. That I feel very strongly for you.”

“And how are they aware of this?”

“Well, I wasn’t exactly subtle.”

“Does anyone else know?”

“Neville’s fairly clueless, but Luna and Ginny have been making comments since the ball. I think they’ve worked a fair bit of it out. Ginny told me that she thought you were interested in me.”

Bellatrix’s eyes widened. 

“When?”

“Over the Christmas break and again since then.”

“And what did you respond?”

“Mostly? That I didn’t think you liked me like that.”

Bellatrix sighed and her shoulders seemed to relax a little. Then she looked at Hermione and frowned. 

“Do you trust them? To be discreet when it matters?”

“I… yes, of course.”

Bellatrix’s hand lifted and she tucked some of Hermione’s hair behind her ear. 

“Then I suppose it would give you someone to talk about it to, if Miss Weasley knew. But just her. You must make sure she tells no one else, not even Mr Potter. It can’t be written down, talked about where someone might hear-”

“-Bella,” Hermione interrupted, catching the older woman’s arm as she used it to make her point. “I don’t have to tell anyone. It’s just over four months; I can make it without discussing what’s between us.” 

“I just don’t want you to have to carry this burden around with-”

“-it’s not a burden.”

“Hermione…” she pulled her close, her hands on Hermione’s waist, resting their foreheads together and closing her eyes. “Secrets weigh on you, over time. You might be fine now but what if you need someone? I’m not exactly the most approachable person and it might not be something you can talk about with me. I’m just saying… it’s ok to need a friend to confide in.”

“I get by enough without telling her the full details,” Hermione murmured, resting her hands on Bellatrix’s upper arms. “But yes… perhaps I could tell her that we have agreed to explore this when school has finished.”

“Yes,” Bellatrix whispered. “That seems like a good compromise.”

Hermione chuckled. 

“Do you know, I think this is the calmest I’ve seen you in a stressful situation.”

Bellatrix froze and sucked in a breath that ghosted over Hermione’s face. 

“I feel like I’m barely holding it together, little Lynx.”

Hermione opened her eyes as Bellatrix pulled her head away slightly, looking at Hermione with strained eyes. 

“Do you want to talk about-”

“-No.” Bellatrix interrupted sharply, then closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. When her eyes opened again, she was back to seeming calm. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. Perhaps when this is all over but… right now I need to keep a handle on it.”

“Okay,” Hermione gave her a small smile. “I understand that. I’m around whenever you need me.”

“You’re so… mature,” Bellatrix said, stroking some of Hermione’s flyaways. “Sometimes I forget… Sometimes I think you might be more mature than me.”

“No,” Hermione hummed reassuringly. “We’ve both been through many things and it’s affected us both in different ways.”

“Perhaps you’re right.” Bellatrix agreed softly. “But then again, perhaps we are both who we were always meant to be, to get to this moment.”

Hermione stared at her. That was possibly the most romantic thing that Bellatrix had ever said to her. It settled over her like a warm bath and she shivered with the delight of it. Leaning in, she pressed a soft kiss to a surprised Bellatrix’s lips. 

“What was that for?” Bellatrix whispered. 

“For being so sweet.”

Bellatrix snorted, her eyes sparkling with mirth. 

“Not a word commonly used to describe me.”

“Perhaps they just didn’t know you well enough.”

“Perhaps…” Bellatrix leaned in for another kiss, barely brushing her lips over Hermione’s, making the younger woman shiver. “Or perhaps you think too highly of me.”

“Mmm no, I think I’m correct. I didn’t get the title of ‘brightest witch of my age’ for nothing, you know?”

Bellatrix chuckled against her lips.

“You are quite impossible.” She pressed another chaste kiss to Hermione’s lips and then drew back. In the dim light, Hermione saw her taking a deep breath. “I have to go. It’s time I… I need to lead the Ministry to them.”

“You’re going with them?”

“I have to.”

“What’s going to happen to them?”

Bellatrix closed her eyes. 

“They are going to try to capture them. Take them somewhere remote; cast spells to keep people away and to keep them in… I have no hopes that that will work.”

“And if they can’t capture them?”

“Then they will be killed. It’s the only way-” Bellatrix broke off mid-sentence, her eyes swirling with emotion.

“You did everything you could.”

“It wasn’t enough.”

“Of course it was. Sometimes there is nothing that can be done.”

Bellatrix’s fists were clenched by her sides, but she made no move to get away from Hermione when the younger woman touched her face gently. As Hermione’s thumb stroked her cheek, Bellatrix stared into her eyes and her hands relaxed slightly. 

“I don’t know if I can do it. Even after what they did to Minerva I-” Bellatrix drew in a rattling breath. “I don’t know if I can kill again.”

“Then let the Ministry do their jobs and just lead them to them.”

Hermione didn’t feel as calm as she sounded and she was grateful that her voice didn’t waver. She felt how tense Bellatrix was; how much she felt like screaming and destroying things around her to release all the emotion she felt. She was grateful that things had changed so much over the last few months; she wasn’t sure that Bellatrix would be handling things as well had they not. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop blaming myself.”

She didn’t know how to respond to the whisper that escaped Bellatrix’s lips so she simply slipped her arms around her and held her tight. 

“Let me come with you.”

“Hermione no-” Bellatrix pulled back to look at her, frowning.

“-I’m not leaving you alone out there-”

“-I won’t be alone; I’ll be with Potter and the Ministry.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Hermione, you are not joining me.”

“Yes, I am.”

“No-”

“Bellatrix Black, I will never forgive myself if something happens to you and I could have been there to help. I am coming.”

“I could never forgive myself if something happened to you and I allowed you to come.”

“Well then we’re at a stalemate.”

“No, we’re not.”

“Yes, we are."

"Hermione, my little Lynx. We are not.”

Hermione froze. 

Bellatrix lowered her gently to the floor apologising, her face mournful. 

“You’ll no doubt hate me after this but I can’t risk losing you. Not like this. I…” she looked down at Hermione who stared up at her conflicted face, unable to respond or even blink. “I’m not strong enough to survive losing you.”

With that, Bellatrix stood and left the room, leaving Hermione in semi- darkness, unable to stop her. 


	39. Teeth and Claws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T/W for blood and gore and death. 
> 
> The Ministry are heading into the Forest to find the creatures and Bellatrix and Harry are with them. Hermione is in a closet/cupboard.

Hermione lay on the floor, the cold of the stone beginning to seep into her bones, quelling the hot anger she felt inside her. How dare Bellatrix do this to her? 

She knew that she gave Bellatrix hope for a future; the older woman had said as much herself. But the fact that she would leave her like this, unable to move, unable to go and help; Hermione realised that the heat wasn’t just anger, it was fear. Fear that something would happen to Bellatrix and Hermione would be here, frozen, not knowing… What if no one found her? What if something happened to Bellatrix and no one found her to free her? 

She began to panic slightly, feeling time pass by. They would no doubt be heading to the Forest now. She had to get free somehow. She had to go and… Merlin her nose itched. There had to be a ton of dust in here. Focus, Hermione. How are you going to get out of here?

The door opened and Hermione was momentarily blinded by the light coming in. 

“Hermione, what-” Ginny bent over her, blocking out the light, concerned. She raised her wand, freeing Hermione, who groaned in relief. Grasping Ginny’s hand, she let herself be pulled up, feeling stiff. “What happened?”

“Bella.”

“Black? She did this?” Ginny looked outraged. “Why?”

“Because I wanted to go to the forest with her and the Ministry.”

“Hermione, it’s dangerous-”

“-Yes, I know, that’s what she said too. But I can’t leave her.” Hermione made to go past Ginny and exit the storage cupboard but Ginny grabbed her arm. 

“If you’re going, I’m going too.”

“Ginny, no, it’s-”

“-Dangerous, yes, I just said that. But if you’re going, so am I. Harry is in there.”

Hermione opened her mouth to argue but closed it again; Ginny had a point. Instead she sighed. 

“Fine. But we have to go. We need to catch up with them.”

“Alright then. And on the way you can tell me why I shouldn’t still be mad about you keeping everything from me.”

Hermione shot her an apologetic look as they hurried down the corridor towards the main entrance; Ginny returned a rueful smile that reassured Hermione that she wasn’t overly mad, or at least understood why, to a degree, Hermione would need to keep it a secret.

As they burst through the main doors, Hermione looked anxiously towards the forest, hoping that they hadn’t gotten there yet. She saw the group paused at the very edge but couldn’t make out one from the other at this distance. She and Ginny started running, Hermione slightly behind Ginny who had her eyes set on the group as well.

They were half way across the grounds when the group disappeared into the darkness of the trees and Hermione’s heart sank. They could lose them in there; have no idea where they had gone. They would be alone in there too, she suddenly realised, looking at Ginny. What if the creatures found them before Bellatrix, Harry and the Ministry found the creatures? 

She and Ginny slowed to a walk at the edge of the forest, both gasping for breath. 

“Shit…” Ginny muttered, looking into the darkness. “How are we going to find them?”  
  
“Ginny…” Hermione hesitated. “Maybe you should go back. The creatures could be anywhere…”

“Hermione, don’t start that again.” Ginny looked at her fiercely. “You’re my best friend. You’re like a sister to me. Where you go, I go.”

Hermione grabbed her and hugged her tight, then looked back into the forest again. 

“Together then?”

“Yes. Together.”

Hermione grabbed Ginny’s hand as she made as if to step into the trees. 

“Before we go…”

“If you’re about to do a soppy speech about how much you love me in case we die I swear to Merlin I will leave you in the same state Black did in that cupboard.”

“No, I just… I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t my secret to tell. It’s not that I didn’t trust you. You’re like a sister to me too; I just couldn’t.”

“I know,” Ginny replied, begrudgingly. “I mean, you owe me a lot of chocolate. But I guess I’ll forgive you. Depends what the other gossip is.”

Hermione chuckled and blushed slightly. 

“I’ll tell you if we survive this, okay?”

“When, Hermione. I just got offered my dream job; I do not intend to die before I get to live it.”

With that, both of them turned and walked into the forest together, wands drawn as the darkness swallowed them. 

***

The light from their Lumos spell barely allowed them to see more than a few feet ahead of them; the forest seemed to swallow it up. Hermione couldn’t remember the last time that she had seen the forest look so dark; although the storm that had been brewing above them as they ran through the grounds had blocked the sunlight. The forest seemed to be reflecting their mood and Hermione kept close to Ginny, feeling a spark of dread fly through her as she realised that they had not yet come across the group they were attempting to follow; nor had they seen any sign that they had even passed through here.   
“Um, Hermione?” Ginny whispered, although it still caused Hermione to jump a little in surprise. “What if these… things, find us first?”

“Then we fight.”

“Harry said there were a few of them and that they’re vicious…”

“Yes. Four. There were five but… Bella killed one.”

“I’m going to make a note to tease you about the fact that you call her Bella now for when our lives aren’t in danger.”

“Alright,” Hermione smiled in spite of herself and felt Ginny grip onto her arm as they continued. She had the strangest sensation that they were being followed, but whenever she swept the light around them, no eyes glinted in the glare. 

They had been walking for what felt like hours, but had only been ten minutes or so, when the sounds of screaming echoed through the trees above them. Terror filled Hermione’s lungs and Ginny’s fingers dug into her arm painfully, but after a second they both broke into a run, heading in the direction of the sound. 

Another scream broke out, nearer and Hermione adjusted their course, almost tripping over a tree root as they ran; her heart in her throat. Was that Bellatrix? Was it Harry? 

They saw light up ahead; the bursts of spells bouncing through the trees and lighting them up like fireworks. Hermione grabbed Ginny and pulled her behind a tree as a wayward spell shot towards them, bursting into sparks against the trunk. 

“Merlin,” Ginny hissed as another scream echoed through the forest, ending abruptly. Too abruptly. Hermione’s heart dropped. Please don’t be her. Please don’t be him. “Hermione…”

“I know. We can’t just go bursting in there. We can shoot from the edge once we know where the creatures are-”

“-Hermione… I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.”

Hermione looked at Ginny’s face, drained of colour, her eyes wide and filled with terror. She turned, slowly. 

Hermione’s nightmares had done the creature no justice. She was transfixed by bared fangs, bloody drool congealing around the mouth and dripping onto the forest floor. Dull, yellow eyes stared at her and Ginny hungrily reminding her of coming face to face with Lupin in third year. But Lupin had been nothing compared to this. The face was scarred and twisted; she could almost guess that the animagus had been a kind of bird from the way that a beak seemed to penetrate the snout. Matted, thick fur that looked more like bristles sprouted in odd clumps across black skin, stretched taut like the starving dogs so often in adverts for shelters. She could see the rib bones as it hobbled to the side and she noticed that it’s front right claw only had two talons on it; the rest looked as though it had been blasted off recently. A withered and useless wing, too small for this large creature, stuck out at an odd angle from it’s back as though the animagus had been twisting as they became a wolf. 

Hermione felt bile building in her throat and she wretched slightly, remembering what Bellatrix had told her. This creature had been repeatedly tortured; there was no wonder why it looked as though it had been twisted into being like some sort of Frankenstein’s monster. Ginny’s nails were drawing blood in her arm and the pain brought Hermione to her senses. She raised her wand, pointing the light at the creature. 

“Ginny… run,” she murmured. 

Ginny remained frozen to her side and Hermione glanced at her. 

The creature pounced and Hermione barely had time to cast the spell; fangs inches from her face it suddenly shot backwards, tumbling over itself across the forest floor. 

“Run!” Hermione cried, pushing Ginny in the direction of the fight. She knew that there were likely other creatures there, but if there were still people fighting then there would be safety in numbers. 

They ran as fast as they could, tumbling over roots and only held up by the other as they clung together. Hermione could hear snarling behind her, the sounds of the creatures feet pounding against the floor as it gave chase. Her heart was in her throat and she felt like she couldn’t breathe fast enough; her lungs were burning and she pressed desperately forward. 

If only they could reach the others… Bella…

They fell into the clearing, scrambling across the floor on their backs as the creature that had been following them loomed over them between two large trees. Looking up at it, Hermione felt her stomach twist at the sight of its underbelly; she could see a lung pressing against exposed ribcage, inflating and deflating as the creature reared up. Hermione raised her wand. 

“NO!”

A bolt light flew over their heads, hitting the creature square in the face. It screamed as it flew back into the tree with a sickening crunch and tumbled to the ground, still. Hermione looked around and found Bellatrix standing a few feet away, her eyes blazing and wand drawn. Blood seeped from a cut on her cheek and her dress was torn. Black desperate eyes turned to Hermione and the younger woman held her breath. She’s alive. 

Hermione scrambled to her feet, helping Ginny up as they witnessed what they had fallen into. Ministry officials were fighting creatures around them; three others on top of the one that had tried to kill them. All were twisted and malformed in different ways; Hermione saw one launch itself at a Ministry official, knocking them to the ground and tearing their throat out. 

She gasped in horror as the creature dropped the man’s throat beside him and he continued to twitch on the floor for a few moments as if attempting to breathe. 

“What are you doing here?” Bellatrix’s voice rang across to her and Hermione watched the older woman start to take steps towards her. The creature behind her, jaws still dripping with the man’s blood, locked its gaze on to Bellatrix. 

Hermione’s eyes widened. 

“Bella!”

“You shouldn’t be here, you could get-”

Hermione started running just as the creature launched itself forward. She couldn’t run fast enough; it would make it to Bellatrix before her. If only she could run faster…

The transformation rippled through her as though her need had driven it. She watched Bellatrix’s eyes widen as she felt it change her, watched as she heard the noise and realisation flooded her eyes. She watched as Bellatrix turned, as the creature leapt, claws reaching and fangs bared… 

Hermione slammed into the creature mid-air, her front legs wrapping around it as they spun together, crashing into the ground. She felt teeth graze her shoulder and snarled, baring her own and biting into its flesh. The creature gave a howling shriek and then Hermione felt hot blood in her mouth. She released it, spitting the taste from her mouth in disgust and the creature’s claws swiped at her. She cried out and they went tumbling across the forest floor again; locked in a battle of teeth and claws. 

She heard Bellatrix calling her name; she sounded desperate. Hermione chanced a glance towards her voice and found her pointing her wand at them. She couldn’t get a shot with Hermione locked in battle. Hermione felt claws scratching her face and snarled, scratching at the creature as it tried to sink its teeth into her neck. She felt the teeth graze her and she snarled in terror, sure that this was the end. A rock bounced off the creature’s head and it looked over at Ginny with a snarl; Hermione took the opportunity and swiped at its face with all her might. It yelped and rolled off her and she resisted the temptation to follow. 

“AVADA KEDAVRA!”  
The flash of green light filled the woods and Hermione looked up at Bellatrix, standing there with her wand outstretched; the spell hit the creature as it leapt towards Hermione and it went tumbling to the floor. 

Hermione got to her paws shakily; her blood was streaming over her fur and into her eyes and she blinked it away hastily to no avail. Through the red, she could see Bellatrix frozen, staring at the creature, her mouth open in horror. Hermione winced, padding forward, limping on the leg that was torn. She fought to change, knowing that she needed to in order to be healed. A few feet from Bellatrix, she was crawling on her hands and knees, feeling sick to her stomach. Bellatrix’s eyes finally moved to her. 

“Bella…”

Bellatrix dropped to the floor, pulling Hermione to her in tight arms. 

“Hermione… my little Lynx…” she murmured into Hermione’s hair. She pulled back and looked at her face, concern filling her face. “Your face… your arm…”

“Fix me when it’s over,” Hermione managed to say, before a scream from their right drew their eyes. Ginny and Harry were fighting a creature that had its jaws around the arm of a Ministry official. Harry fell backwards at a swipe from the creature and Ginny blasted it with a strong hex. 

“That’s my boyfriend you freak!”

The creature released the Ministry official who slumped to the ground; her arm punctured and bleeding fast. It turned to face Ginny, who stepped back and aimed her wand at its face. 

“Ginny-” Hermione croaked, her vision going blurry. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the blood or because she was losing blood, but either way she was sure that she wouldn’t be conscious for long. “Bella, help… Ginny.”

Ginny’s spell hit the creature in the face again but it only made it angry and it snarled, inches from her. Bellatrix’s spell shot over and the creature went tumbling to the side, howling. This one had the biggest eyes that Hermione had ever seen; like saucers. It seemed as though it should be blind and she didn’t know whether it was reacting simply through its other senses. It snarled and Hermione saw that its mouth looked strange. She didn’t know what animagus it had been before, but it seemed that whatever it was had horns; they twisted out of its head as though they had grown from inside it. When she looked at the creatures all she saw was pain and death. 

It got to its feet, shook its head and charged. Harry flung himself out of the way, shooting a spell after it, but the creature kept coming. Bellatrix stood in front of Hermione, bracing herself. Hermione looked up at her and realised that she was stopping it from getting to her. She gripped the hem of her dress. 

“Bella, run-”

Bellatrix raised her wand as the creature leapt and Hermione’s hand slipped from the material as she plunged into darkness. 

***

The light was too bright. Hermione winced, seeing red through her closed eyes and wondering whether the blood had blinded her. She groaned and then the memories flooded back to her along with pain. Oh Merlin, she hurt. Her head felt like it was splitting open and her arm felt like it was hanging off. She felt her stomach turn. Oh god she was going to be sick, right here in the forest. The creatures… they could pounce on her any minute. Bella! Bellatrix was about to get hurt. She opened her eyes but she couldn’t see. Blind… can’t see… she thrashed about, desperately; something was holding her down and she fought it; they couldn’t stop her. She needed to help Bellatrix-

“Hermione.”

“Bella?” She gasped, hearing the hoarse but warm sound of Bellatrix’s voice coming from somewhere near her. “I can’t see, Bella… I can’t see!”

“Breathe, Hermione.” She felt the grip loosening around her arms and legs and whimpered. “You’re safe. You’re in the hospital wing.”

“Why can’t I see?” Hermione didn't really register what she’d said; she wanted so badly to see Bellatrix. She was so close...

“Your head is bandaged; you had a bad cut there. It’ll scar but you’ll be fine.”

“Are you okay? What about the others? Ginny, Harry-”

“We’re here!” Harry and Ginny chorused from somewhere beyond her feet. “We’re okay Hermione.”

“Oh thank god…” Hermione whimpered, relaxing finally. 

“I’m here too, Hermione.”

Ron’s voice shocked her; it sounded quiet and hesitant; filled with regret.

“Ron?”

“Yeah. Hey.” She could hear him shuffling and then his voice came from closer. “I um… listen I’m so sorry. I should have been there, I…”

Bellatrix cleared her throat from nearby and Ron’s voice stopped. Hermione moved her head as though it would help her work out what was going on. She imagined that a silent conversation was happening and it frustrated her. 

“What’s going on?”

“I… I’m here to apologise. I’ll do it as many times as I need to, for you to forgive me, but I understand if you can’t. I was… I was the biggest of assholes. I couldn’t… I couldn’t let you go and I… I could have lost the chance to say I’m sorry. You could have died. And I… I am so sorry Hermione.”

Hermione felt tears welling in her eyes. Ron was apologising, Bellatrix, Harry and Ginny were okay, she was in pain, so much pain…

“I… I don’t know what to say…” she admitted, feeling heavy and tired. She heard her voice as if she were underwater. 

“Rest, Hermione. Weasley can grovel on his hands and knees when you can actually see him.”

Bellatrix’s voice sounded faint, as if she were moving further away. 

“Bella… don’t go?”

“I’m not going anywhere, pet.”

“Hurts… so tired…”

_I know, my brave, little Lynx. Sleep._

Hermione slipped into unconsciousness, unable to stay awake any longer. 

***

“Do you think she’ll wake up soon?”

“Well probably, if you keep hovering over her like that.”

“Oh come on, Black, it’s not like you’ve left her side.”

“I’m in the next bed, Miss Weasley. I’m not allowed to leave.”

“Yeah, well… it’s not like you want to while she’s here.”

Hermione heard Bellatrix snort but she didn’t respond. 

“Ginny, maybe we shouldn’t stand over her,” Neville’s voice appeared from near her feet. “It’s a bit creepy.”

“We’re standing over her like guardians; like the tree folk guard the forests,” Luna replied dreamily from the same direction. 

“I don’t know, I think we should draw some eyes on her bandages, that way everyone will think she’s looking at them.” A hoarse chuckle broke from Hermione’s dry lips and she heard everyone moving. “I knew you were awake.”

“How could anyone sleep when you’re talking that loud?” Hermione’s throat was dry and her voice came out in a croak. She tried to wet her lips but there was no moisture. “Thirsty.”

“Water; I’m on it,” Neville’s voice came again and she heard him moving away. 

“How are you feeling?” Luna asked. 

“Like I had a fight with a monster,” Hermione mumbled. “What… what happened?”

“You blacked out. We had to carry you back. Black wouldn’t let go of you even though she was getting carried too-”

“-Miss Weasley, one more word and I’ll-”

“-Oh come on, Black, don’t I get a little grace period for saving your life?”

“You most certainly do not.”

“What about,” Ginny said, lowering her voice to a whisper, “because you’re going to date my bestie after all this?”

“Ginny!” Hermione gasped. 

“Miss Weasley!”

“Alright, alright,” she chuckled, surrendering. “You two are made for each other.”

Hermione knew she was blushing and for once was thankful for the face bandages. She tentatively lifted the hand of the arm that wasn’t throbbing and touched them. They seemed to go from her hairline down to over her nose and over cheeks. 

“How bad is it?”

There was a silence and then Bellatrix’s voice came softly to her. 

“It’s going to scar, like we said… but I don’t think it will be that bad.”

“Are you lying?”

“Maybe… but you’ll still be you. It doesn’t matter. You’re still…” Bellatrix paused and she heard an awkward shuffle. 

“Oh, right, yeah. I’ll just…” Ginny muttered and then Hermione felt her disappear from her side. She heard Bellatrix whisper a spell, shielding them from prying ears. 

“You’ll be beautiful to me no matter what.”

“Did you really just cast that spell so no one could hear you say that?”

“Yes.”

“They know though, don’t they?”

“Your friends, yes.”

“What about the Ministry?”

“... No. None of them know.”

“... Why did you say it like that? Did… are any of them alive?”

“Two.”

Hermione gasped. There had been so many of them. 

“Two?”

“We brought four back. The other two… they were beyond even Madam Pomfrey’s gift. The other two were unconscious before we left the forest. They don’t know how I… how I reacted when I thought I’d lost you.”

Hermione could hear the choke in Bellatrix’s voice, the hidden sob. 

“Hey, I’m still here. Most of me, anyway,” she finished dryly and heard a wet chuckle. 

“Yes you are, my brave little Lynx.”

“You saved me.”

“You saved me.”

“What did Ginny mean? That she saved you?”

“She might have sent one of them flying when it had me pinned…”

“Oh wow. How does it feel to be in debt to a student?”

“See? You must be fine or else you wouldn’t be teasing me.”

“It makes me feel better.”

“Then you can do it for as long as you need.”

Hermione shifted in the bed, wishing that she could see. She considered lifting the bandage so she could look down, but knew that she’d be told off for it.

“Did I… did I dream that Ron was here?”

There was a moment of hesitation. 

“No, he was here.” Bellatrix sounded like she wished that he hadn’t been. 

“He apologised.”

“Yes.”

“What…?”

Bellatrix sighed and Hermione heard her shifting. 

“There are things that Harry and… Weasley, will want to talk to you about, when you’re better. I promised that I wouldn’t… I promised to not kill him before he got a chance to talk to you.”

“Well… that was very gracious of you.”

“He’s lucky that I remember you telling me that you might forgive him, if he said the right thing.”

“You remember that?”

“I doubt there is much that you have told me that I have forgotten, Hermione.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all okay after that. I could've made it more graphic but I felt like it was enough as it was. Hope you're all keeping safe and still enjoying the story. Not long until the end now, in comparison to what's been written anyway...


	40. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains flashbacks of the events that followed Hermione blacking out in the previous chapter and another piece of the puzzle that is Bellatrix's past.

“Miss Granger? Miss Granger, I need you to wake up.”

“Mmmf,” Hermione groaned. She felt like she’d barely slept, although it seemed to be all that she did these days. She had been in the hospital wing for three days but it felt like longer. She lost track of days, always thinking it had to be a new one when she woke up, only to discover that she had only napped for an hour or two. Someone always seemed to be around; her friends visited every day, taking turns. It turned out that Harry had been allowed to leave Madam Pomfry’s care after only two days. Ginny had never had to stay; thankfully she only had some cuts and bruises and a minor cut to her shoulder. 

Bellatrix was always there, of course. She wouldn’t tell Hermione what had happened to her that meant that she had to be in the hospital wing and Hermione had stopped asking. She would know soon enough.

“I’m going to take your bandages off, Miss Granger.”

Hermione’s eyes opened and she saw the shape of Madam Pomfrey through the white of the bandages, leaning over her. She lifted her head, excited to have them removed. She wanted to see again, but most importantly, she wanted to know what had happened. Everyone seemed to have been treating her with kid gloves and she knew that they wouldn’t stop until she was out of the hospital bed. 

Madam Pomfrey began unwrapping Hermione’s bandage; the room became clearer and clearer as each layer was removed. When the last was lifted, Hermione blinked, her eyes adjusting. 

The first person that she saw was Madam Pomfrey, leaning over and studying her with her usual professionalism. Her fingers touched lightly at Hermione’s head and she gave a satisfied nod before moving to make some notes on her chart. 

Bellatrix came into view; she was sitting up in the bed, her dark eyes watching Hermione closely. 

“Hello, Hermione.”

Hermione grinned, although her face smarted as it moved. She sat up a little straighter and then cast a glance at Madam Pomfrey, aware that she could hear them. 

“Hello, Professor,” she offered Bellatrix a rueful smile. “How do I look?”

Bellatrix’s gaze wavered slightly and then she opened the draw of the small stand next to her bed and pulled out an ornate mirror. She hesitated before offering it to Hermione. 

“Here; it will be better for you to see.”

Hermione’s heart sank and she grabbed the mirror, holding it above her lap as she braced herself. She closed her eyes, lifted the mirror and opened them. 

Her face was recognisable; she supposed that this was some relief. She lifted her fingers and stroked the scar. 

It was white; Madam Pomfrey’s healing powers were excellent after all. But the line still remained; a claw had cut her from forehead to cheek, through her eyebrow and narrowly missing her eye. She winced. ‘

“It was quite deep,” Madam Pomfrey said, making Hermione start; she hadn’t realised the woman had resumed paying attention to her. “But I did my best.”

“It looks… it’s ok.”

Madam Pomfrey nodded and bustled off to the other end of the wing. Hermione continued to look in the mirror before her gaze slipped to Bellatrix. Dark eyes tracked over her face and Hermione saw a flicker of sadness. Hermione shifted, wincing as she used her injured arm to move herself more towards the edge of the bed. She looked down at it and found that it was bandaged too. 

“I’m sorry,” Bellatrix murmured, catching Hermione’s attention again. “I’m sorry that you got hurt.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Hermione replied, keeping her voice down. There was no one on the beds near them but she didn’t want to catch the attention of anyone either. “You did everything possible to stop me coming after you. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you leaving me in a cupboard.”

Bellatrix chuckled lightly and shook her head. 

“I’m not going to apologise for trying to protect you.”

“And I’m not going to apologise for coming after you.” Bellatrix frowned but didn’t retort. Hermione took the time to study her. She could see bandages on her arms and neck and a cut over her eye that had healed but was still a little red. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Bellatrix murmured. “She’s keeping me because she was worried about my mental state, not anything physical.”

“Oh,” Hermione’s brows furrowed and she shifted anxiously. “How… how are you? Mentally, I mean.”

Bellatrix chuckled and shook her head. 

“Don’t worry about me.”

“I can’t help it.”

Bellatrix’s smile faded and she slowly edged off the bed, padding over to Hermione. She glanced around and then stroked some hair out of her eyes, tucking it behind her ear. Her fingers traced the edge of the scar and Hermione shivered. Bellatrix’s fingers lifted from her face almost immediately. 

“I’m sorry.”

“No. No I wasn’t… it wasn’t a bad reaction. Not all bad, anyway,” Hermione blushed lightly as she looked up at Bellatrix, whose tongue flicked out to wet her lips as she looked around. 

“I see.” She looked at Hermione again but her hands remained by her sides. “How do you feel?”

“Sore but I’m fine.”

Bellatrix opened her mouth and closed it, apparently considering her words carefully. 

“Do you remember what happened?”

“I remember Ginny and I going into the forest,” Hermione said, shuffling to lean back against her pillows again, feeling tired. Bellatrix sat in one of the chairs at the side of her bed. “I remember the creature finding us and you saving us, then another one was going to hurt you so I…I changed.”

“Impressive for a novice; have you been practicing without me?”

“No.”

“Based entirely on need then.”

“I fought the creature and then you killed it… are you in trouble for using an unforgivable?” Hermione panicked slightly; she hadn’t thought it at the time but the Ministry might…

“No,” Bellatrix shook her head. “I’m not in trouble. It was deemed necessary, by your friend, Mr. Potter.”

Hermione felt relief wash through her and it showed on her face; Bellatrix gave her a small smile. 

“That’s good, right?”

“Yes. I suppose so.”

“Why aren’t you more relieved? Is there something else?”

“Hermione… do you remember anything after you asked me to help Ginny?”

Hermione scrunched up her face as she tried to remember. 

“It started coming for you and you stood in front of me and I remember… I remember being so tired.”

“You were. I… I thought I’d lost you.” Bellatrix’s hands trembled in her lap and Hermione wished she could crawl onto her and hold her. She wished they were alone but she doubted that they would be for a while. Bellatrix glanced up at her and she saw that the other woman had more to say. “Perhaps I should wait to tell you. Until you’re feeling stronger.”

“Tell me what?”

“What happened.”

“Did someone get bitten?” Hermione asked, sitting up and feeling the earlier panic return. “Did you get bitten?”

“No, Hermione, I’m fine. One of the Ministry that survived did; she was transferred to St. Mungos.”

“Oh god…” Hermione sat back, thankful at least that it hadn’t been Bellatrix, or her friends. Then suddenly, she stilled. “Did… did I get bitten?”

Her hand flew to her neck, the memory of teeth grazing it slicing through her brain like a knife. There was no bandage, but it could have healed…

“Hermione,” Bellatrix stood quickly, taking Hermione’s hand away from her neck and holding it briefly. “You aren’t infected. I thought… I thought you’d been bitten. There was so much blood. But the teeth only grazed you; they didn’t penetrate your skin.”

Hermione clutched at her, relieved. 

“Oh god, Bella…” Bellatrix’s head swivelled; checking that no one was nearby. Hermione bit her lip. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. I was much less discreet when I thought…” She trailed off and released Hermione’s hand with a sigh, sitting back down. 

“Tell me?”

Bellatrix studied her and then pulled her legs up and under her, leaning her head nearer Hermione; so close that she could just reach out and touch. 

“Alright. I hit it with a hex but it only caught it’s side. Went rolling over but got up pretty fast. The other one was closing in at that point and Ginny was helping Harry up. I had you on the floor behind me and I didn’t know if you were still alive…” Her voice was choked and Hermione ached to reach out and hold her hand. “They were circling us and I was shooting spells at them. Your friends ran forward…”

_Ginny shot a hex at the creature with huge eyes, sending it tumbling to the side. Bellatrix hit out at the other, cutting a gash in it’s side that only made it more angry. It howled and pounced at her but with a flick of her wand she sent it flying, head over tail. It twitched on the floor, trying to get up. It’s legs looked broken. Bellatrix stepped forward, raising her wand to finish it._

_Something slammed into her side and she went flying. Hitting the dirt, her wand flew out of her hands as she reflexively threw up her hands, catching hold of the horns. Crying out in pain, she held the snapping jaws away from her face, but the rancid breath was so close and she could feel her arms shaking. She looked over at Hermione; she couldn’t die. If she did, who knew whether the others could protect her. Bellatrix snarled. If she transformed, she’d lose her grip on the horns. If she didn’t, she might not have a chance._

_The creature went flying, almost taking her with it; her grip on the horns was so hard. Ginny ran towards her; wand outstretched. Harry was sending spells after the creature as it ran into the woods._

_“We can’t lose it,” Bellatrix screamed, scrambling to her feet. She ran forward, grabbing her wand from the floor. The creature stopped, its feet sliding as it spun to face them again. Bellatrix’s heart thudded hard as she raised her wand. The last one._

_It lifted its head and howled._

_The creature went crashing along the forest floor to lie in a broken heap; Bellatrix glanced at Harry, who stood with his own wand outstretched, panting, looking confused._

_Through the trees, in the faint light, stepped centaurs, bows and arrows drawn. Bellatrix watched as they circled the creature, checking that it was dead. One of the herd looked up at her and nodded his head. She drew in a shaky breath and inclined her own head, before spinning on her heel and running to where Hermione lay on the floor, ignoring the gasping creature that was still lying on the floor._

_Dropping to her knees beside her, she lifted her head._

_“Hermione… Hermione?” She felt her heart catch in her throat at the sight of all that blood. Merlin, had she been bitten? Please no… not Hermione… “Pet, please… wake up.”_

_Harry dropped to his knees beside her and laid two fingers on her neck. Bellatrix frowned._

_“She’s got a pulse; she’s alive,” he said, relief flooding his voice. Ginny joined them, her eyes watery. “She’s ok, Gin.”_

_“I don’t think the others are,” Bellatrix said, glancing over at them. They could hear the moans of a few Ministry workers around the clearing. “Go check on them. I’ll send a signal to the castle. We need help to get them back.”_

_“We will take you to the edge of the forest.” The deep timbre of the centaur's voice made them all look round at him. He stood by the other creature, one of his arrows trained at its neck. He released the arrow and the creature stopped twitching and lay still, finally. “After that you must make your own way.”_

_“Thank you,” Harry said. “Some of our people are-”_

_“-dead, yes. We will bring those with us too for we know that you like to bury your dead.”_

_“Thank you. We will repay your kindness,” Harry said respectfully._

_“This is our debt to pay; you removed most of those creatures and they have been hunting us for some time.”_

_Bellatrix ignored them as the herd entered the clearing and Harry helped to check on the Ministry officials. She sent a spell off towards the castle, hoping that it would be received quickly, and then stared down at Hermione. Her hair was filled with dirt, her blood was still running but slower now. Bellatrix’s heart hammered._

_“I can’t lose you…”_

_“I will carry her,” a centaur said, leaning down as if to lift her._

_“Careful!” Bellatrix snarled, gripping Hermione. “I will do it.”_

_She tried to stand, prepping her wand to levitate Hermione, but her knees shook. She felt cold and looked down. Blood was seeping from a slash to her waist and she winced as she pressed her fingers to it. She hadn’t even noticed it happening, most likely when she had been knocked to the floor, but she had been too focused on the creature’s teeth inches from her face._

_“You’re hurt,” Ginny said, catching Bellatrix’s arm as she sagged. Pain was clouding her vision. “You can’t walk.”_

_“I’m fine,” she hissed, through gritted teeth._

_“You aren’t.” Ginny insisted and then looked at the Centaur. “Will you carry her?”_

_“I won’t be carried,” Bellatrix replied before the centaur could, sinking to the floor next to Hermione. “I want to stay with her.”_

_She put her hand on Hermione’s face. It felt cold. Panic flooded her._

_“She’s-”_

_“Hermione?” She cried, gripping her. “No, please…”_

_Ginny pulled out her wand._

_“Black, listen. I’ll levitate her but you need help too.” Bellatrix didn’t answer, gripping Hermione’s hand hard._

_“I can’t lose you, Hermione. My little Lynx. Please…”_

_“Professor Black,” Harry said, appearing above her. “To save Hermione, we need to move her. If you can’t walk, you need to be carried or supported. But we need to get her to Madam Pomfrey so that she’s in good hands.”_

_Bellatrix finally relented and let the centaur lift Hermione. She refused help herself however and followed weakly, staying close to Hermione. A few times she stumbled and Ginny caught her, but she would always push her away gently and continue again._

_When the morbid procession reached the edge of the forest, they found Professors Pemble, Slughorn and Flitwick, along with Hagrid and Madam Pomfrey._

_“Oh my god…” Pemble rushed forward and Bellatrix sagged into her. “Bella? You’re hurt.”_

_“Help… Hermione,” Bellatrix managed to say._

_The Professors took over from the centaurs, respectfully thanking them as they turned and returned to the forest._

_The journey back to the castle seemed to take forever and no time at all. Bellatrix had tried to walk but had quickly been levitated. She floated, looking at the stormy sky as the rain began to fall and then her head rolled to the side. Hermione was just in reach. She shouldn’t, but she found she didn’t care much anymore. She reached out a hand and linked their fingers._

_They remained entwined all the way into the castle._

Hermione watched as Bellatrix wiped away a stray tear, trying to hide it. 

“Thank you. For telling me.”

“I thought I’d lost you. I couldn’t… It hurt so much. Just the possibility…”

“You didn’t lose me.”

“I know.” Bellatrix gave her a small smile. “But…”

“I know.” Hermione shifted, rolling on her side so that she could look at Bellatrix properly. She spotted the pile of books on her table. “Ginny?”

“Yes,” Bellatrix said, looking at the pile. “She brought them over; said that you’d like them when you were up to it. I have to say, I did borrow one.”

“Which?”

“Poetry. The Elizabeth Bishop. I like her.”

“Have you got a favourite?”

Bellatrix smiled gently. 

“I found one that I like, yes.”

“Will you read it to me?” Bellatrix’s eyebrow rose and Hermione chuckled. “Poetry should always be read out loud; don’t you think?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never had it read to me.”

“Well maybe one day, I’ll read it to you,” Hermione whispered. Bellatrix’s eyes sparkled and she picked up the top book, flicking softly through the pages; smoothing them out lovingly. She came across her page and looked at Hermione. 

“Ready?”

“Yes,” Hermione replied, watching her. She couldn’t believe that Bellatrix was actually doing this. 

Bellatrix began to read, her voice low and soft and Hermione smiled gently. 

_“It is marvellous to wake up together_   
_At the same minute; marvellous to hear_   
_The rain begin suddenly all over the roof,_   
_To feel the air clear_   
_As if electricity had passed through it_   
_From a black mesh of wires in the sky._   
_All over the roof the rain hisses,_   
_And below, the light falling of kisses._

_An electrical storm is coming or moving away;_   
_It is the prickling air that wakes us up….”_

***

Hermione woke when the hospital wing was lit by lanterns; the darkness looming only in the corners of the room. She wasn’t sure what had woken her at first, but then she heard voices at the bed next to her. She kept her eyes closed, her breathing steady, listening. 

“-scared me, Bella. What on earth were you thinking?”

“They were my problem, Abigail.”

“You always think you have to do everything by yourself. You always did.”

“Keep your voice down. And stop calling me Bella.”

“No, I won’t. I’ve had enough of this. Despite everything, I still care what happens to you; all this has proved that to me. But you can’t hold on to that grudge for forever, Bella. It was just a bludger.”

“It wasn’t just a bludger,” Bellatrix hissed. “You think I’ve been mad all these years because you knocked me out during the final match?”

“Haven’t you?”

“No. Well… yes. But it was more than that. I thought… I thought of everyone, you would know that I wasn’t everything they said. I thought you’d understand. But you didn’t even give me a chance. You told me that you ‘should have known’. That it was what you got for ‘trusting a pureblood slytherin who only cared about herself and her family.’”

“Bella, I was young. I was two years younger than you and you’d told me we couldn’t be together anymore. How was I supposed to react?”

There was a silence for a while and then Bellatrix responded, so quietly that Hermione almost missed it. 

“I don’t know, Abby. I just… I didn’t want it to be so easy. I thought maybe one person might not believe that of me so readily. I expected to be hated. I wasn’t prepared for it but I knew it would happen. But you… I hadn’t expected you to hate me. I don’t know why.”

“Because we were in love, Bella. You were the first person I fell for. I think I might’ve been the first person that you felt that way about too.” When Bellatrix didn’t respond, Pemble continued. “That’s long over, but when I eventually got over you, I realised that at least you’d helped me realise who I was. I mean, when I saw everything in the papers, heard the rumours…”

“None of it was true-”

“-I know that now. But at the time, I didn’t. It still hurt a little. When I heard the whole story… what you must have gone through…”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I know. I won’t… but I am sorry, if you’ve spent all these years hating me for believing those stories. I’m sorry that I wasn’t more sure of you. But you have to know, dating someone like you, especially as your first girlfriend well… it can make you wonder why you are even bothering. We were in different houses, I’m younger, I didn’t even know what I was doing when we kissed; not that we got any further than that. I was out of my depth and punching above my weight.”

“What-?”

“It means you were out of my league. I was never good enough. I was never going to be. And I knew that.” Bellatrix didn’t speak and Pemble laughed. “See, that was something I always disliked about you. If you were trying to be nice but you couldn’t do that without lying, you’d just stay quiet.”

“I don’t-”

“-Don’t worry, I know. I always knew I wasn’t the one. I’m grateful I wasn’t or else I wouldn’t have found Gwen. And you…” There was a pause. “I’m still not happy about it. But I believe you when you say that nothing has happened. Mostly.”

Bellatrix’s chuckle sounded. 

“Mostly?”

“The way you two look at each other… you’ve never been very good at restraint when you really wanted something. Or someone. But I do believe you as far as nothing too inappropriate. And I know that she’s older than student age. It’s not like I can say much about that anyway; I picked Gwen up almost straight from school.”

“Smaller age gap.”

“Still. Besides, I like Granger. Just… for Merlin’s sake, don’t do anything stupid. Or… more stupid than you already have?”

“Abby-”

“-Yes, yes, I know.” Hermione could hear a chair shifting. “I hope you find happiness Bella. I truly do. And maybe we can be friends again?”

“I’ll think about it.”

Pemble laughed. 

“I’ll tell you what; next staff game, you can borrow my club and hit me with a bludger.”

“I would prefer to win against Rosmerta's team.”

“Correct answer. Now, I should leave you to sleep. You look like shit.”

“Charming.”

“I’ve been told that, yes.”

Hermione heard footsteps heading to the door and then the sound of the door opening and closing. 

“You can stop pretending to be asleep now,” Bellatrix’s voice murmured. Hermione’s eyes fluttered open in shock. “You think I didn’t know?”

“Sorry, I… I shouldn’t have been listening.”

“Hermione, if I hadn’t wanted you to hear, I’d have stopped the conversation. You should know that part of my history.” 

“Professor Pemble was your girlfriend, at school?”

“Yes,” Bellatrix shifted on her bed so that she was looking directly at Hermione; the younger witch mirrored her. “She was.”

“And she thought you truly believed in… Voldermort’s cause?”

“I told her that we could no longer see each other; that I had to uphold my pureblood name and look as though I despised muggle-borns as much as my fellow purebloods.”

Hermione winced. 

“Ouch.”

“Yes. I did try to explain further but Abigail has always been quick to anger. She hit me with her book and stormed out.”

“She… hit you with a book?”

“Yes. I like clever women who are bookworms; this hasn’t changed.” Bellatrix smirked lightly and Hermione blushed and rolled her eyes. “She stormed out and I didn’t see her until two days later, when Gryffindor were playing Slytherin in the House Cup. The final.”

“She hit you with a bludger?”

“She hospitalised me. Knocked me clean out and off my broom, through a goal. I heard her team laughing about it, saying that it should have counted as points, when I got out. I hexed them all and so began my reign of terror. For my last few months, at least.”

“But you dated a muggleborn, Gryffindor?”

“Yes, Hermione,” Bellatrix chuckled. “In secret. My house, my family… they all believed I was the part I played. Except Andy. She was my confidant. When she told me she was with Ted, I knew that she’d understand. But I knew the family wouldn’t. I told her to leave; I’m sure father would rather have killed her than let her continue with him. And she took my secret with me.”

“She kept it all that time?”

“Well, Dumbledore knew, of course. Not the order though. Just him and Andy. I believe Narcissa worked it out in those last years. Or at least, enough to suspect that I was not planning on risking everything for him. And I believe that is partly why she felt that she could do the same. She would have done anything to protect Draco.”

“And she did.”

“Yes. My sisters are quite remarkable.”

“So are you.”

Bellatrix gave her a small smile and shook her head. 

“I was just trying to survive. To help people survive. If I hadn’t met Abby in school, who knows. Perhaps I would have ended up exactly the person I played. Perhaps I would have been driven to the edge and not cared enough to stay on this side of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poem in this is 'It is Marvellous to wake up together' by Elizabeth Bishop. She's one of my favourites; there is a film about her starring Miranda Otto if you're interested. It focuses mostly on her love of Lota de Macedo Soares, Brazilian architect and is called Reaching for the Moon. It is not, however, a happy relationship, just a heads up. Anyway, here I am, spreading the news about gay women. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Approx. 10 chapters left; just saying.


	41. Sharing Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione is out of the Hospital Wing and has to have that conversation with Ginny. Bellatrix manages to catch some alone time with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up? I know, I know, I've been distracted with Pas de deux. But in part of my 'a chapter a day' I also get to post in this. So yay. Here you go. Present. 
> 
> Also don't forget you can join the Bellamione Cult on Discord where many of us writers hang out, but it's not just writers! People who love Bellamione and just want a community to chat to: https://discord.gg/pcfMU4F

A couple of days later and Hermione was out of the hospital wing. Bellatrix had left the morning after their conversation about her time in school, but she had been back every day to visit, as did Hermione’s other friends. Harry and Ron had gone back to the Ministry, but Ginny told her that they were planning to come and visit again at the weekend and Hermione hoped that she would find out what Ron had been trying to say when he had first visited. She felt a pit of apprehension in her stomach; she only hoped that whatever his excuse was for his behaviour, that it was a good one. 

Madam Pomfrey was satisfied that Hermione’s recovery was permanent and although she made several tutting sounds every time she saw Hermione’s face scar, it had grown on the younger witch. She got some strange looks from children as she passed but they only muttered to each other and did not look horrified by her appearance. Scars no longer scared them; they were far too common a sight after the war. 

When she got down to the Great Hall, desperate for some breakfast, she immediately gained the attention of every student in there. They watched as she began to walk towards the Gryffindor table. Then, slowly, applause broke out. By the time she’d reached Ginny, they were all standing and clapping. She ducked her head, embarrassed by the attention. It wasn’t as though she’d done much. She’d not even killed one of the creatures. 

She glanced up at the top table as she hugged Ginny and saw Bellatrix sitting there, watching her closely. A small smile lifted her lips and then she looked away, engaging Professor Flitwick in conversation.

“It’s so good to see you out of bed!” Ginny said as they pulled away from each other. The applause had died down and everyone was returning to their seats. “I’ve missed you.”

“You saw me every day.”

“It’s not the same.” Ginny gripped her hand. “I’m so glad you’re ok.”

“Me too.” Hermione squeezed her hand. 

Neville and Luna embraced her together and she gratefully accepted their joint hug. When they all sat down, Hermione looked around at her friends, enjoying the return to normality. She had not realised how grateful she was to be able to sit and eat with her friends until she had been lying in her hospital bed. 

“So, what have I missed?” Hermione looked around as she buttered her toast. “Anything exciting?”

“Oh, nothing at all,” Ginny deadpanned. “Just some creatures in the forest that have been the subject of gossip.”

“Just little things then,” Hermione chuckled. “What are people saying?”

“Actually, Flitwick told everyone what had happened. More or less, anyway. He said that the Ministry had been called in and that, as everyone knew, McGonagall was in the Hospital Wing… did you see her, by the way? I tried sneaking a peek but Madam Pomfrey kept the curtains drawn and shooed me away.”

“No,” Hermione murmured. She’d seen the section at the end of the infirmary that was curtained off, known it was McGonagall, but Madam Pomfrey had declared that no one was to disturb her ‘no matter how good you are at flouting rules, Miss Granger!’ She had left the subject alone after that. “I didn’t get to see her.”

Ginny’s frown was mirrored in the faces around her. 

“Well, I hope she’s okay soon. It’s weird without her…” she broke off into thoughtful silence until she seemed to remember she had been in the middle of a conversation. “Right, where was I… oh yes. He said that some creatures had remained in the Forest after the battle that had been a part of Voldermort’s forces and that they had recently been getting closer to the school grounds. McGonagall had gone to check it out, been attacked and then the Ministry had been called. That Professor Black had been their guide and that you and I had also gotten involved… he heavily implied that this sort of behaviour was essentially, but unfortunately, expected from us but that others should take care not to’ follow our example in such matters’.”

Hermione laughed. 

“What’s he talking about? We’re excellent role models.”

“Oh sure you are,” Neville said. “Surprised they didn’t take away your Head Girl badge.”

“What would be the point? We’re only here for another four months or so.” Hermione suddenly gripped Ginny’s arm. “Oh Merlin, I need to catch up on my school work. The exams are coming up.”

“Only you could be worried about that after a few days out, Mione.” Ginny laughed. “Seriously. You were in there for less than a week. You’ll be fine. I took notes, proper notes, for you.”

“I love you,” Hermione grinned, giving Ginny a hug. “Thank you.”

“Yeah yeah, don’t get all mushy on me. Don’t think I’ve forgotten that I have reason to be mad at you, just because you got a little beaten up.”

Ginny said it with a smile, so Hermione knew she was joking, but she couldn’t help but feel bad. Yes, she had a lot to tell Ginny. She glanced up at the top table where Bellatrix was eating. 

“We’ll catch up, I promise. But it was more than a little beating, to be fair,” she winked. 

“Yeah… but it could’ve been much worse.”

Hermione nodded, her smile slipping from her face as she remembered the Ministry official who had been bitten in the arm by the creature Harry and Ginny had taken on, being carried out of the Hospital Wing. She would have to live the rest of her life as a werewolf, changing every full moon and needing wolfsbane to control herself. Hermione’s hand flew up to her neck again; that could have so easily been her fate. It almost had been. 

“Yes,” she murmured. “It could have been.”

***

The fire crackled beside her as Hermione waited. She knew that it wouldn’t be long but she could feel the nerves building inside her. Her mind wandered as the fire licked at the wood, devouring it greedily. She thought about Bellatrix; her violent beauty in the forest as she fought to protect Hermione and her friends. She thought about the way that she had worried about her. She thought about how angry she had been when Bellatrix had left her in that cupboard all in the name of protecting her. How that anger didn’t seem to matter now, in the grand scheme of things. She thought about their kisses, about how Bellatrix’s hands felt when they held her in a tight embrace. Her lips and the way they tasted; how sometimes her tongue would wet Hermione’s lips as a question of whether she could be allowed in or not. Hermione wanted that. She wanted to be able to kiss Bellatrix whenever she wanted, without having to worry about who would see, or what people would think. 

The door opened, pulling Hermione from her thoughts. She looked at the door to the Room of Requirement. 

“Hi.”

“Hey. So this is where you and Black have been sneaking off to?” Ginny said as the door closed behind her. 

“We weren’t sneaking. We did actually train.” Hermione patted the sofa beside her and Ginny joined her. 

“Yeah, but I bet that wasn’t all that you did.”

Hermione’s light blush answered the question, but she wanted to reply anyway. 

“No, it isn’t. We have kissed. A few times, actually.”

“I knew it,” Ginny replied gleefully, sitting cross-legged and staring at Hermione. “Give me the details.”

“What do you want to know?”

“When was the first time?”

“The first time we kissed was when we agreed that we couldn’t do anything until after I’d finished school.”

“That went well then,” Ginny snorted. “Was that here? When?”

“It was at Narcissa and Draco Malfoy’s party.”

Ginny stared at her open-mouthed. 

“You’re kidding. So Ron…?”

“He didn’t see us. But I think he’d suspected since Christmas. It’s not like I was hiding it much and she started to slip then too.”

“So that was what his outburst was about? I thought he was just pissed and reading into your crush.”

“I don’t know what he was thinking. But I do know that what he said… he thought we were sleeping together at that point.”

“Huh. So what else? When else have you kissed?”

“A few times in the castle. We said we wouldn’t but… it’s difficult not to.”

“Oh I’ll bet!” Ginny clapped her hands gleefully. “But you haven’t…”

“No. No. Nothing beyond that.”

“Huh. I mean damn. But yeah… probably a smart idea.”

“Yeah… We also kissed when we went to her house.”

Ginny stared at her, dumbfounded. 

“You… Went. To. Her. House?”

“Yes.”

“... Why?”

“It was a safe place for… it’s where we did the Animagus transformation.”

Ginny chewed her lip. 

“Yeah. I was wondering if you were going to tell me about that.”

“I think I have to. There were Ministry officials in that forest. I’ll have to register.”

“You weren’t going to?”

“I don’t know.”

“Hermione… what happened? I thought you were all law-abiding… generally.” Ginny teased before she became serious again. “So, you’re an animagus. A lynx, right?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I…” Hermione knew that she couldn’t tell Ginny about Bellatrix. It wasn’t her place. But that was how this whole thing started, after all. “I wanted something different. A way to escape maybe? Something that was mine.”

“I don’t get it, but as long as you do…” Ginny said, putting her hand on Hermione’s. “So Black helped you?”

“Yes. She helped keep me calm when I changed. She was there.”

“And then you kissed.”

“And then we kissed. We had pizza.”

Ginny blinked. 

“I’m sorry, did you just say you had pizza?”

“Yes.”

“You fucking marshmallow. You and Bellatrix Black had a secret trip to her house where you turned into an animal and then you both sat and had pizza together? That’s a fucking date.”

“Yes. I suppose it was.”

“You had a date with Bellatrix Black… This is insane. No wonder you’ve been so hung up on her!”

“I mean… I was before that? But yes… I’m really looking forward to finishing school so that we can give everything a proper try.”

“Wow. I mean wow… I don’t know what to say.” Ginny slumped back, staring at Hermione in surprise. “I mean you two… it was really obvious. But at the same time I kind of thought that maybe I was wrong? Or maybe that she’d avoid anything like the plague even if she liked you?”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. She just seems like that sometimes, you know? Like the type that doesn’t think she deserves happiness and so she’d rather drown in her own solitude than try to be happy.”

Hermione stared at Ginny. It’s not like she could argue, but she’d forgotten just how insightful Ginny could be.

“Yes well… I think she’s changed a lot recently.”

“I’ll say. I mean, we actually had a couple of passable, amusing conversations while you were unconscious.”

Hermione gaped. 

“You… what?”

“Yeah I mean obviously she’s still my professor and everything but she was quite pleasant, for her standards. I think maybe she needed something to distract her while you were sleeping. It was kind of obvious and all, what with her watching you all the time.”

“I promise never to tell her that you’ve said all this,” Hermione chuckled, thinking of what Bellatrix’s reaction would be. It was likely that she’d find some way to playfully torture Ginny and Hermione wasn’t feeling that evil. 

“Thanks. Doubt I’d survive. Although now I can tease her about you two having a cute date…”

“No, you can’t. You can’t say anything. No one can know.”

Yeah, I know,” Ginny said reassuringly, putting her hand on Hermione’s arm. “Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”

“I know. Thanks, Gin.”

“No worries.” Ginny nudged Hermione with her elbow. “So is that everything?”

“Pretty much? I mean you know about the creatures now…”

“Yeah,” Ginny shuddered. “Not feeling like I need to go over them again.”

“Me neither.”

“Shall we head back then? I’m knackered.”

“You had a nap in potions behind the cauldron.”

“It’s tiring being asked questions about you all the time, okay? I’m just glad that falls on you now.”

Hermione chuckled. 

“Go ahead. I’m going to stay here for a bit, I’ve slept too much recently; I think I want to just burn off some steam.”

“Alright well… take it easy. You’ve only been out a day. I’d hate to have to see you in the hospital wing again.”

“Me too. I will be, don’t worry. I’m going to go for a bath afterwards anyway. See you at breakfast, tomorrow?”

“Absolutely. Then the boys are coming; don’t forget.”

“I won’t.”

Ginny left and Hermione stood from the sofa, stretching. Madam Pomfrey had told her to be careful with her arm; it was healed but would still be a little tender for a few more days. She decided to practice with her other arm, something Bellatrix had told her was important. The practice dummies were still here and she moved one to the centre of the room, readying herself and pointing her wand at it. She shot a few spells at it, just warming up, feeling for whether or not she was going to get exhausted quickly. 

She closed her eyes, inhaled and sent a spell at the dummy. She opened her eyes to see that it had struck it in the centre. Perfect. She grinned. 

The door opened and she whipped around. Bellatrix appeared in the frame. Her hair was wilder than usual and as she closed the door she pushed it out of her face. 

“Hi.” Hermione murmured. Bellatrix looked at her from the door, deliberating. 

“Hello.” Hermione took a step forward and Bellatrix raised a hand, stopping her. “Don’t. I’ll forget what I want to say if you come closer.”

Hermione smirked a little but held up her hands to show that she wasn’t moving anywhere. 

“What do you want to say?”

“I want you to know that when I saw you, covered in blood, I was the most terrified I’ve ever been. I thought I’d lost you. And I realised that I don’t want to hold you back. Whatever you choose to do, whatever your offers or plans, I won’t be holding you back. I won’t be the reason that you stay tied here or nearby, choosing something you don’t want for the ease. I know you; I know that you’ve been wondering how to manage this… us.”

“I mean… maybe? But you wouldn’t be holding me back, I-” Hermione began to panic. It sounded like Bellatrix was saying that this wasn’t a good idea. She couldn’t be removing the possibility of their future. She just couldn’t be. 

“Hermione, let me finish?” Bellatrix said calmly and Hermione nodded, still clutching her wand, tightly. “When you have finished your exams, I am going to take a year out. Let someone else teach for a year. That way… whatever and wherever you go, I can be, if that is something you would like.”

Hermione stared at her. 

“What?”

“Only if that is something you would like. I-”

“Bella, yes… I mean… you don’t have to? I know how much you love teaching…”

“I should have taken a break, after the war. But I thought that it would look… I thought it was better to stay and prove that I didn’t have anything to run and hide from. But now, all I’m concerned about is making sure that we get the time to get to know each other properly. Whatever you want.”

Hermione took a step towards her and then hesitated. 

“Is that everything?” She tilted her head and her eyes twinkled mischievously. “May I approach?”

“Yes,” Bellatrix murmured, leaning against the door. 

Hermione crossed the floor to her and disregarded their rules once again. She placed her hands on Bellatrix’s face, cupping it and dragged their lips together. Bellatrix’s arms wrapped around her waist and they sighed into each other. Hermione’s lips pressed softly into Bellatrix’s as their kiss lingered. Once more and then once again, until she shuddered with the restraint and wished that she could press into her harder. 

“I want…”

“I know,” Bellatrix’s voice was rattled and she chuckled against Hermione’s lips. “We can’t…”

“I know…” Hermione sighed, resting her forehead on Bellatrix’s briefly before looking to her left. “And that sofa just sitting there…”

Bellatrix’s chuckle reverberated through her and Hermione could feel it against her stomach. 

“Behave, little Lynx.”

“I don’t know how to behave around you.”

“That feeling is mutual.”

They withdrew slightly. 

“If you’re sure, the idea of spending more time with you after school feels…” Amazing. Like a relief? Like an expression of something they had yet to admit? “So good. I would love that.”

“Mmm,” Bellatrix hummed, brushing Hermione’s hair behind her ears. “I thought it might be a good idea. We can decide what to do after that, if we make it through a year without wanting to kill each other.”

“Oh I’m sure we can manage.” They chuckled and Hermione stepped fully away, knowing that if she stayed close then she would want to kiss Bellatrix again. “I told Ginny.”

“I saw her leaving,” Bellatrix murmured. “That’s how I knew that you were here.”

“You’re telling me that you didn’t automatically know?” Hermione teased. 

“No,” Bellatrix replied fondly, a smile tweaking her lips. “But I hoped.”

Hermione blushed a little and shoved the other woman gently. 

“Of course you did.”

“So, you told her. Which parts?”

“Well, I explained us. That we’re waiting until after exams and then going to explore this. I did admit that we’d kissed but mainly because I didn’t think she’d believe me if nothing had happened. I hope that’s okay?”

“Of course,” Bellatrix smiled. 

“I also had to tell her about me being an animagus. I mean… she saw. But I didn’t tell her about you.”

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that…”

“I know, I know. The Ministry will have seen; I should register…”

“Yes. I think you should. I’m beginning to think that maybe I should as well.”

“What?” Hermione stared at her. “Why?”

“Because, I don’t want them to have anything that they can use against me. You said it, months ago, when you said that they’d more likely believe you than me, about Weasley. I have got too much history to play with fire so openly around them. And I won’t let anything endanger whatever chance we have…” 

Bellatrix trailed off and ducked her head. Hermione stepped forward again and wrapped her arms around the other woman’s waist. 

“You know, keep being sweet like that and you’ll ruin your reputation.”

“Well, we can’t have that,” Bellatrix smirked. She leaned in and kissed Hermione again, briefly. Hermione pouted slightly as Bellatrix stopped and with a chuckle, Bellatrix’s teeth grazed her bottom lip. Hermione’s intake of breath was loud in the stillness that surrounded them, as Bellatrix pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, releasing her lip with a gentle pop before she licked her own lips. 

Hermione seemed to have forgotten how to breathe. Her brain stuttered. 

“Uh…”

“Too much?” Bellatrix smirked at Hermione’s expression. The younger witch shook her head, unable to find her voice. “Good. I would hate for you to think that I was going soft.”

“No, I’m pretty sure you’re quite dangerous,” Hermione croaked. Bellatrix laughed. 

“And we’ve barely touched the surface, pet.”

  
Hermione trembled. 

“Are you trying to kill me? Because… I think it’s going to work.”

“No, darling little Lynx. Although if the French taught us anything, it is that a little death is always welcome.”

Hermione’s brows furrowed. 

“Is that from a book?”

Bellatrix chuckled and leaned in, her lips brushing Hermione’s ear as she replied in a husky, languid voice. 

“La petite mort; the little death. It is commonly used to describe the state of a person post-orgasm,” she paused, breathing out softly and causing all the little hairs of Hermione’s body to rise as the sensation caressed her ear, “when you experience that delicious moment between conscious and unconscious; on the edge of a dream.”

Hermione was biting her lip so hard that she thought she might taste blood. When Bellatrix placed a kiss to the edge of her jaw, her knees almost gave way. 

“Fuck… that is so not fair.”

“Did I ever say,” Bellatrix chuckled, returning to a position where she could look Hermione directly in the eye. Hermione’s eyelids felt heavy. “That I play fair?”

“No,” Hermione’s voice husked. 

“Good,” Bellatrix replied, her smirk reappearing as she stepped back slightly, her hands on Hermione’s hips. “I would hate to have misrepresented myself.”

Hermione took a moment to pull out of the daze that she was in and then she gently pushed Bellatrix, feigning outrage. 

“That was evil.”

“What did you expect?”

“You make it difficult not to want you.”

“I know, little Lynx. I feel the same way about you.”


	42. Invisible Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T/W for implied PTSD and for mentions of alcoholism. 
> 
> Ron finally explains himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter for you lot. Today I worked out what vaguely is happening in the rest of the chapters that are left. I hope you enjoy!

Hermione had barely finished breakfast when Ginny jumped up from her seat across from her and disappeared. Frowning, Hermione watched her running towards the entrance, smiling when she watched her friend jump into Harry’s arms. She saw Ron standing awkwardly next to him, waiting for his sister to greet him as well. Hermione turned back to her plate and took a sip of orange juice. She had been dreading this as much as she was hopeful; Ron had promised to talk calmly to her about what had been going on. 

She wasn’t sure whether she was trying to hold onto the dislike she had felt for him over Christmas because she didn’t want him to get off lightly, but her encounter with the creatures had given her yet another reminder that life was precious. Did she want him in her life? She wasn’t sure. If he ever behaved like he had done again, the answer would be no. If he tried to trivialise it today, it would be a no. She couldn’t imagine staying friends with someone who showed so much hate to someone she cared about either. 

At the thought, she glanced reflexively up at the top table, before her brain caught up with her and reminded her that Bellatrix never took breakfast in the Great Hall. Her eyes flicked to McGonagall’s empty seat. There was a rumour going around that a sixth year had seen McGonagall being moved out of the Hospital Wing the previous day, but then there was also a rumour that she was dead and that the Ministry were covering it up. She supposed that was how things went in school. Not many months left of this place; already she was feeling a kind of melancholy over the impending loss of a place that had shaped her more than anything or anyone else. 

“Hey, Hermione,” Harry’s voice brought her out of her thoughts and she turned to smile. “Hey Neville, Luna.”

“Hey Harry,” they all replied and then all attention seemed to shift to Ron as they hovered. 

“Hi everyone.”

Neville and Luna had been told what had happened, without the details about Bellatrix that Hermione had shared with Ginny of course, and they knew that Ron was here today to try and make amends. When Ron uttered the meek greeting, they glanced at Hermione to see how she would react. 

“Hello Ron.”

He shot her a brief smile and then returned to vaguely looking between all of them, as if he couldn’t let his eye settle on one of them. It was clear that he was nervous and embarrassed. 

“Well, that’s a start,” Harry said, nudging his friend. “You all finished? Ready for a Hogsmeade trip?”

“Absolutely,” Ginny smiled. Hermione picked up her juice and finished it before standing. 

The group were quiet as they made their way out of the hall. Well, mostly. Ginny was telling everyone about the correspondence she had been getting from Gwenog Jones about her future as a part of the team and Luna was adding occasional comments about the best creatures for Ginny to pet for luck. Harry was between Hermione and Ginny and on the other side, a little further back, was Ron. 

“I just can’t wait to start training,” Ginny grinned, finishing off her monologue. 

“You’re going to do amazing,” Harry said, wrapping his arm around her. “I’m so proud of you.”

Hermione smiled at her friends; they looked so happy together. 

“So, what are you planning to do, Hermione?” Neville asked. 

“I’m not sure yet,” Hermione said. “I was planning to go straight into working at the Ministry; I’ve had so many offers. But now… there are so many possibilities, you know? I think I’d like to do something unexpected.”

“What, like our entire schooling experience?” Harry joked. 

The group burst into laughter as they made their way passed Hagrid’s hut. 

“Should we pop in and say hello?” Luna asked. 

“Yes! Would be nice to see Hagrid again,” Ron murmured. Everyone glanced at him but agreed. 

Hagrid was ecstatic to see the whole group of them together again. He crushed Harry and Ron in a giant hug that left them gasping for breath when released. 

“Oops, sorry lads,” he apologised. “Forget my own strength sometimes. Just so glad to see you.”

“We missed you too, Hagrid,” Harry smiled. “We thought we’d pop in and see you on the way to Hogsmeade; make sure that you’re okay after all that’s been going on.”

“I’m alright. Just glad they didn’t hurt any of you. You know… I love magical creatures but they were…”

“We know, Hagrid.” Hermione put a hand on his arm comfortingly. “It’s okay.”

“Not completely is it? Still waiting to see if Minerva… well. And those Ministry folks… but you’re all okay and that’s what matters.”

They stayed for a little while with Hagrid, enjoying his company and avoiding a plate of particularly hard rock cakes that seemed like they were strong enough to break your jaw, let alone your teeth. Then, with a tearful goodbye, he waved them off to Hogsmeade. 

“So, where are we going?” Neville asked. The group looked at him as though he’d lost his mind. “Oh, of course.”

They ended up in The Three Broomsticks, waving hello to Madam Rosmerta before taking up a table by the window. Hermione glanced over at Ron, wondering when he was going to do this. Was he going to ask to talk to her alone or was this going to be a group apology? She wasn’t sure. 

She didn’t have to wait long to find out however, because as soon as they had gotten their drinks, he looked right at her. 

“I have something I have to tell you.” He looked around at the group. “All of you.”

Ron looked down at his drink and seemed to be considering how to proceed. After the silence had stretched a few minutes, Harry cleared his throat. 

“Just say it, mate. They’ll listen. I did.”

Hermione glanced at Harry, wondering what was going on. He didn’t seem mad at Ron anymore, but he did seem determined that Ron would actually talk to her, to them. Another moment passed and then Ron looked up, apparently having steeled himself. 

“So I know that… my behaviour has been… probably unforgivable. But I have to try and explain… to apologise.” He looked at Hermione. “Especially to you ‘Mione. I probably don’t deserve your forgiveness but I’ll do everything in my power to get it. The right way.”

Hermione waited for him to continue. At least he wasn’t being defensive. 

“Go ahead, Ron,” Luna urged him, her eyes flitting around his head, no doubt seeing wrackspurts. 

“It’s not an excuse, but after the war I just… everything was great or not and there didn’t seem to be any middle ground. When I was with you, ‘Mione, everything was great. I felt like all that pain wouldn’t overwhelm me. I mean, I lost my brother, some of my friends, but it hurt less when you were there because I knew that I hadn’t lost you. It was overwhelming, you know, getting a job at the Ministry, having everyone look at me like… I didn’t feel like a hero much. I just felt like I was out of place. Like I would never have gotten that job if I hadn’t been part of the Golden Trio. So I tried really hard and worked and I started to think that people were the way they were because I worked hard. But then I was seeing you less and you seemed to be pulling away. And the closer I tried to get to you, the further away you seemed to get. I started feeling like I was losing you, like you couldn’t stave off the hurt anymore just by being there because now there was something getting between us. I didn’t know what. I thought you loved me and that you were just scared, that you didn’t know how to deal with going back to school and us being together. It was self-involved. I see that now.”

Ron paused, watching Hermione’s reaction as a tear escaped her eyes. She wiped it away. 

“Carry on.”

“You left and I felt like I’d lost it. Work was empty; it was all way beyond what I deserved and I felt like no one really cared. Sleeping without you nearby was like nothing was protecting me from the nightmares. The feelings they brought up… they followed me into the day. I started drinking, just to numb the pain a bit, you know? But it started creeping in and soon I was drinking at work as well. Harry caught me just before Christmas but I told him it was a one off. I lied. But then Christmas happened, with that ball and I could tell that you didn’t want me there. You were more interested in anything else than me. Christmas was worse; I really wanted to show you that we could be together but you turned me down and I felt like the world was ending. I spent those few days brooding over it and then you and the others turned up and she… and Black was there. And I saw… I knew that you hadn’t looked at me like that for a long time. Longer than I’d thought. It hurt because I realised that this had been over long before I thought. Of course, Christmas was the perfect excuse. No one thinks twice about you holding a drink and I had so much… it’s not an excuse but I don’t remember most of it. I know that I spent that time hating you. I knew that I didn’t want to see you and that I started to think that Black had been messing with your mind, stealing you from me… I was in a dark place. New Years Eve, at the Malfoy’s… you were so damn happy. It made me sick how happy you looked. And she… I just knew and I saw red.”

Ron was crying now, tears rolling down his cheeks, gulping back more. Hermione looked out of the window for a moment, wiping her own tears. Everyone else was still, watching. 

“Is that everything?” Hermione whispered, not looking at him. 

“No. Harry… he’s the reason I’m okay now. Him and mum and George really. I’ve not had a drink of anything stronger than Butterbeer since New Year. I’ve been talking to someone at the Ministry… Dad sorted that out. He said that muggles have psychiatrists and that we shouldn’t think we’re above all of that. So they got someone in; apparently she’s a squib so she knows about it all but… so I’ve been talking to her. She said I’ve got a lot to work through but that I’m making progress. This… this is part of it. Telling you all how sorry I am and trying to get closure. Forgiveness I guess. It was like those things that the locket whispered to me but worse. I thought I didn’t deserve to have survived the war, that I didn’t deserve… but anyway. I’ve had a few bad turns… it’s why I couldn’t come with Harry to go in search of those creatures. It’s why, the weekend before when he was supposed to watch the match, he didn’t. I’m sorry I took that from you both.” He looked between Ginny and Harry. “I almost slipped. I almost… I didn’t trust myself to be left alone. Harry stayed with me and talked through some things with me. Didn’t leave me to deal with it on my own. I’m grateful for that. So, that’s everything. Other than to say, to all of you, but especially you Hermione… I’m so sorry for everything I did. Can you forgive me?”

Everyone seemed to be waiting for Hermione’s response. She closed her eyes, trying to work out what to say. Did she just forgive him? Or did she keep him at a distance? She hadn’t known he’d been going through all that. How could she have missed it? She had been his girlfriend and friend and she hadn’t noticed… 

“I don’t pretend to know everything that you’ve gone through. I’m sure that all just scratched the surface,” she started. “But it sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot around and thinking you had to do it alone. I know someone else like that.” She paused, looking at Ron with downturned eyes. “I’m sorry that I didn’t notice you drowning. I’m sorry I couldn’t help before it all went… but I’m glad you’re getting help. It sounds like you’re doing well. It looks like you are.”

“Please forgive me.”

“I… Ron, I don’t… I do forgive you for what happened. I do. It wasn’t right but I can forgive you for it. But… I don’t know that I can go back to being friends, like we were, straight away. But we could start slow and maybe hang out a bit, see how it goes? I know that it’s probably not what you wanted to hear but-”

“-No. No it’s fine. It’s more than I deserve. I was horrible to you. I was awful to...” he paused and glanced at the others. “I don’t know if anything has happened. Harry hasn’t told me. But if what I saw wasn’t just drink fuelled jealousy… if something is going on. I’m happy for you. I’m glad you’re happy. And I did apologise to her. You know, when you were both in the hospital wing.”

Neville and Luna looked at Hermione. Luna had a knowing look on her face that Ginny and Harry shared. Neville looked confused and oblivious. 

“What? Who?”

“Oh, keep up Neville,” Ginny chuckled. “Black. Hermione’s got the hots for her, remember?”

“Oh…” Neville looked at her and grinned. “Yeah, I noticed.”

“What?” Hermione said, looking at him surprised. She’d been under the impression that Neville had been fairly clueless about the whole thing. 

“Come on, Hermione. I notice more than anyone ever gives me credit for.” He smiled at her with kind eyes. “I just don’t feel the need to tease you about it like some.”

“Hey, I didn’t tease that much-” Ginny began. 

“-Um, guys? Kind of trying to apologise here,” Ron interrupted quietly. 

“Oh, yeah… right. Well, if Hermione forgives you then I do,” Ginny sent him a grin. “Besides, you’re my brother. I’ve always known you’re an idiot so it was kind of just proof.”

Ron rolled his eyes at her but a small smile was on his lips. 

“Thanks Gin.”

“Yeah, I mean, you didn’t really do anything to me mate,” Neville said. “So if Hermione’s good, then I am.”

“Me too.” Luna added. 

“I’m good. Just… let’s try being friends again?” Hermione said. 

The look of relief and gratitude on Ron’s face was enough to make Hermione feel sure that she had made the right choice. She wondered what Bellatrix would think when she told her. 

They drank together and talked; the air around the group felt lighter now without the tension pressing in on them. Ron seemed happier and Hermione couldn’t help but feel glad. She knew that she could have completely forgiven him but this felt better. They’d spent so many years getting to know each other but they were completely different now. It was the best way. 

“We really ought to be getting back,” Hermione said as it neared one in the afternoon. “I don’t want to miss lunch and we really ought to be studying.”

“That’s right. Not long until the exams start,” Ron said. “How’re you feeling about it?”

“She’s worrying as always, but she’s totally going to get the best marks anyway,” Ginny said, grinning. 

“Only if I revise.”

“Yeah yeah, keeping me on the straight and narrow.”

“I want to go to the library; shall we go there?” Luna asked. 

“Yes, sounds good,” Neville stretched. “As good as revision can sound anyway.”

“Oh hush,” Hermione chuckled. “There are worse things in the world.”

“That’s an understatement.”

They chuckled as they made their way outside again, feeling the sun on them. March was that interesting time when the seasons couldn’t work out if they were in winter or spring and so the weather was as changeable as could be. April would not be much better of course. 

“You want us to walk you back?” Harry asked as they looked up through the village towards the castle. 

“No, it’s okay. You’d only have to come back anyway. Might as well save your legs.”

“If you’re sure you’ll be alright?” Ron checked. 

“We’ll be fine. Go.”

As they all hugged goodbye, Hermione rubbed Ron’s back with her hand comfortingly. He had been through so much; they all had. She could give him a second chance. 

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“You can do this,” Hermione replied. “I believe in you. Always did.”

When it came her turn to hug Harry, she squeezed him tightly. 

“Thank you for not giving up on him.”

“Never could.” He replied gruffly. 

“I have a favour to ask you,” Hermione said. “I need to register as an Animagus officially. I know that some of the Ministry saw… well, anyway. Do you think you can help me?”

“Sure. You’ll have to come to the Ministry but I’ll have a word with them and see if you can come next weekend. I’ll take you myself; sound good?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“No problem. I’ll send you an owl with the details.”

“Thank you, Harry.”

“Hey, I’m just happy you’re safe.” She saw his eyes drift to her scar briefly and then he looked down. “I’m happy you’re okay.”

“I am, you know? I’m okay.”

“Yeah.” He gave her a small smile. “I know.”

They parted ways and as the group headed back to the castle, Hermione looked back in time to see Harry and Ron apparate away. She felt a sense of peace, as though everything might be alright now. 

“So, are you going to tell any of them about you and Black being more than just a crush?” Ginny whispered as they re-entered school grounds. 

“After school. When it’s all okay. When we’re allowed.”

“I mean, honestly, I’m impressed that you’ve lasted this long. I honestly thought that you’d have broken by now. Well… more than a few kisses.”

Ginny grinned at her evilly and Hermione rolled her eyes. 

“Get your head out of the gutter, Ginny. She’s… it’s about more than that.”

“I know,” Ginny replied, giving her a smile. “I can see that.”


	43. Minerva and Bellatrix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fate of Minerva McGonagall is made clear to the school. Bellatrix has a nightmare and her guilt is overwhelming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt I'd made you wait long enough. 7 more chapter to go.

Hermione and her friends spend the next week buried in books, revising. While classes were crammed with exam related lessons, every spare moment of time seemed to be filled with trips to the library or quiet rooms to revise and test each other. 

When Hermione crawled into bed at night, she was grateful for the few minutes before sleep claimed her, when she would close her eyes and think of Bellatrix. Outside of her dreams, she barely saw her; their interactions were mainly in the classroom. Hermione wished that they could steal a few moments afterwards, but all week, someone seemed to have questions for her. She would leave the classroom, casting a regretful glance back that Bellatrix’s eyes seemed to mirror. 

On Sunday evening, Ginny dragged Hermione to dinner on time, instead of later, as they had been doing. 

“Come on. We’re having an early night tonight. We both need it.”

“I still have-”

“I don’t care. We’ve worked our asses off and we deserve one good night of sleep.”

They sat down at the table just as the food arrived, covering the table in delicious platters that filled their noses with mouthwatering smells. Hermione realised that she had skipped lunch and started piling food onto her plate. She skewered a roast potato and took a bite with a moan; they were excellent as always. 

As they always did, her eyes drifted to the top table in search of Bellatrix. She wasn’t there yet and Hermione tried to push down the rising disappointment. Bellatrix always came to dinner now and she usually arrived around the same time as Hermione, no matter what time that was. It was a fact that amused Hermione and she wondered how Bellatrix worked it out every day. 

“What do you think about Flitwick’s latest essay?” Ginny asked, drawing Hermione’s attention back to her friends. 

They discussed the latest assignment, going over it in detail and planning to work on it together during a free period the next day. Just as Hermione was finishing off her goblet of juice and it was refilling itself, Ginny nudged her and gestured towards the top table. 

The door behind had just opened and Hermione saw Bellatrix appear through it. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of her and she sat up a little straighter to watch the woman enter the hall. But Bellatrix paused, looked behind her and then stepped to the side. 

The chatter in the Hall rose and then fell to a hush as Professor McGonagall appeared. Dressed in her favourite green velvet robes, the Headmistress leaned on a wooden stick as she walked up to the table. Bellatrix walked beside her and Hermione could tell that she was hovering in case the older woman needed support. When McGonagall reached her chair, Bellatrix went to pull it out for her and McGonagall waved her away. It was possible to hear a pin drop, so her voice carried clearly through the room. 

“Sit down Bellatrix, I am not an invalid yet.”

Hermione’s lips twitched into a smile even as tears filled her eyes; Bellatrix rolled her eyes but sat down in her own seat. Someone stood and started clapping, then another and another until the whole room was filled with a thunderous standing ovation. Hermione clapped as enthusiastically as possible and Neville let out a few cheers. Professor McGonagall stood in front of her chair, smiling out at them all with a slightly watery smile and waved her hands, signalling for them to sit, so she could address them.

“Rumours of my death were exaggerated.” A ripple of laughter ran through the students and Hermione wiped at her tears as she chuckled. “As I am sure you are now all aware, I was injured by one of the creatures which the Ministry, with the help of Professor Black and, I’m afraid to say, two of our students, have removed from the Forest.”

Professor McGonagall’s ‘why is it always you’ expression, pointed at her and Ginny, only made Hermione’s grin wider and she saw McGonagall’s eyes soften a touch. 

“It is my duty to remind students that many creatures reside in the trees that line the grounds and we cannot always account for them all. This is why we have a rule that students must not enter the Forbidden Forest under any circumstances, unless accompanied by a teacher, for their own safety. I assume that my long stay in the Hospital Wing will deter the majority of you. Madam Pomfrey tells me that many of you attempted to visit me and I am very touched by the gifts I received. I do believe I have enough shortbread to last the rest of my life.”

Another chuckle filled the hall. 

“Now, I will not keep you from your dinner any longer. Thank you.”

McGonagall sat down and the entire hall erupted into another round of applause. Hermione clapped until her hands hurt and the rest of the hall had died down a little, then returned to her seat. 

“Merlin, that was one of the best entrances I’ve ever seen,” Ginny hissed with joy. “Talk about being a legend.”

“She’s incredible,” Hermione agreed. 

“Amazing.”

Murmurs of praise and joy about McGonagall’s recovery spread across the table and Hermione glanced back up at the table. Bellatrix was talking to the Headmistress and Hermione watched her. She seemed a little on edge, nothing too obvious, but enough to show in the tightness of her jaw. As Hermione watched, both Bellatrix and McGonagall looked directly at her. Hermione didn’t even try to hide, just held their gazes. McGonagall seemed fondly amused and Bellatrix… Hermione could get lost in her. Those eyes stared into her with so much depth that she felt that she might fall into them. She had missed her, it seemed to have been far too long since they’d been alone together, even though it had only been a week. 

When she had finished her meal, having eaten a little slower than usual, Hermione stood. She glanced up at the top table once more, biting her lip when she realised that Bellatrix was watching her again. She gave her a little shrug, wishing that they could do more than look across rooms at each other and then turned to head towards the main doors, Ginny, Luna and Neville following. 

Hermione fell asleep quickly, as soon as her head hit the pillow and her dreams were filled with Bellatrix. They mixed, switching from heated moments alone where Bellatrix teased and touched her and dreams that filled her with doubt and dread as they swirled around her head. She woke in a sweat, moonlight pouring through the window onto her bed as she sat up. Her heart in her throat, she grabbed the map from her bedside drawer out of habit and tapped it, revealing the ink. As it unfurled she checked it and found Bellatrix where she should be, in her room. Chewing her lip, Hermione watched the footprints for a sign of movement but there was none; Bellatrix must be asleep. Still, she felt an odd feeling. She glanced over the map to see if there was anything awry. Nothing stood out. She glanced back at Bellatrix as she went to hide the map again and realised that her footprints were no longer there. Instead, she seemed to be moving quickly along the corridor. Hermione jumped out of bed, grabbing at her dressing gown and wrapping it around her quickly. She padded down the stairs, wand in one hand and the map in the other. She watched as Bellatrix seemed to fly up the stairs and then stop outside of the Headmistress’ office. Hermione pushed out of the Fat Lady’s portrait and hurried along, checking the map to make sure that she wasn’t caught out of bed by any other teachers. Everything seemed quiet. She practically ran, keeping her light low to not disturb the portraits and alert anyone. 

As she stopped outside the office, she paused, wondering what she was doing. Surely it wasn’t any of her business what was going on? It could just be a late night conversation. Something going on, like a student out of bed or perhaps McGonagall wasn’t feeling well. But something in her gut told her to keep going. She muttered the password to the gargoyle and stepped onto the staircase. 

Hermione remembered to tap the map and hide it in her pocket before she reached the office. Once she had, she stepped forward, looking up at the desk surrounded by portraits. No one sat behind it. 

“Miss Granger, to what do we owe the pleasure?”

Professor McGonagall was sitting by the fire in her dressing gown and nightcap. Her face seemed even more lined in the flicker of the flames and her stick was leaning against the chair she was sitting in. Hermione’s eyes slipped to the chair next to her; Bellatrix’s face appeared, paler than usual and tear-stained. 

“I… I’m sorry for… I just had a feeling.”

McGonagall’s eyebrow quirked and she looked at Bellatrix. Hermione watched as Bellatrix’s eyes flickered and then closed, before she disappeared behind the chair again. 

“Pull up a chair, pet.”

Hermione padded forward and slipped into the spare chair, sneaking a glance at Bellatrix with concern. McGonagall waved her hand at a tea pot that sat on the table between them and it poured another drink into a teacup. Hermione didn’t want to think about the fact that there had been another chair and cup waiting, as if McGonagall had known that she would appear. 

“What’s going on?”

McGonagall looked at Bellatrix, who wiped her cheeks but said nothing. The older witch turned back to Hermione. 

“You may be aware, Miss Granger, that Bellatrix and I sometimes discuss things that are on our minds in order to share the burden?” Hermione nodded. “Tonight is one of those nights. Dreams are difficult to tame when history bares its teeth.”

Hermione looked to Bellatrix again, wishing that she could hold her. She was surprised; she had only really seen Bellatrix act out in anger; bursts of magic and fits seemed to be her usual response to painful memories. 

“Bella?”

Bellatrix looked up at her and her eyes were pained. 

“I hate that you’re seeing this.”

“I’m sorry for intruding, I just-”

“No, it’s fine. I hate that you’re seeing it but I know that it’s okay that you have. I don’t know if that makes sense.”

Her voice was quieter and less sure than usual. Hermione felt her stomach twist; her heart aching for her. 

“What happened? What did you dream about?”

McGonagall picked up the newly poured cup of tea and handed it to her, before picking up her own. 

“Bellatrix was just getting to that when you arrived, Miss Granger.”

Bellatrix stared into the fire and then seemed to make up her mind, sitting up straighter and sniffing. 

“I dreamed that I went mad. I dreamed that I was working for Voldermort and I went mad. That I was his loyal servant. That I tortured people.” She hesitated and then looked at Hermione, her eyes darker than thunder clouds and just as stormy. “I dreamed that I tortured you.”

Hermione gulped; staring into Bellatrix’s eyes she could almost feel the pain that nightmare had inflicted. 

“How?”

Her voice sounded hoarse and Bellatrix flinched slightly. McGonagall shifted. 

“You don’t have to share, Bellatrix. If you don’t want to.”

“You’ll look at me differently.” Bellatrix’s voice was tortured. “You’ll look at me differently if I tell you what I did to you.”

“You didn’t do it though,” Hermione reasoned. “I’m here. I’m fine.”

“You weren’t. You screamed and cried so much I thought that I would shatter with the force of your pain.”

Hermione put down her cup and got off her chair, sinking to her knees in front of Bellatrix and looking up at her through her curtains of hair. It reminded her of how they had been at Andy’s house, all those months ago, when Bellatrix had shown her her scarred arm. What a different kind of scar she was putting on display this time. 

“It never happened. Look at me. I’m fine.”

“You’re not though, are you?” Bellatrix’s fingers touched Hermione’s face where the scar lay and traced the lines before her fingers withdrew shakily. “Neither of you are because of my choices.”

“Bellatrix, I have already told you that it was my decision to venture into the forest. It was the creature that had strayed from the rest and come close to the edge. Neither of those things were in your control.” McGonagall said firmly. 

“But what happened to you, it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t-”

“-Bellatrix, the creature strayed from the pack and surprised me. It happens. I put up a good fight and I blasted off a couple of claws. Hagrid found me and I’m alive. These things happen. Besides, I believe I look rather good with a cane.”

McGonagall gave her a smile and Hermione looked back to Bellatrix who was shaking her head, clearly not convinced. 

“Hey, and you did everything you could to stop me going into that forest. Don’t think I’ve forgotten that you left me in that cupboard.”

“Excuse me?” McGonagall’s eyebrow raised. 

“Long story,” Hermione replied quickly, not wanting to get Bellatrix in trouble. “It doesn’t matter; I went anyway.”

“Yes. And I’ll get back to that, Miss Granger,” McGonagall said, her expression one of shrewd amusement. “Bellatrix, it is not your fault. I understand that your dreams haven’t reached that conclusion yet but it is the case.” 

“I appreciate the attempt, Minerva, but I doubt that I will ever believe you.”

“What about me?” Hermione asked, looking up at her. “Would you believe me if I told you it wasn’t your fault?”

Bellatrix looked down at her and Hermione watched her lip tremble slightly. 

“You don’t understand. You don’t know everything. You don’t know-”

Hermione took her arm gently, bringing it towards her. She traced her fingers over the smooth skin, knowing that under the glamour, there lay the marks left from Bellatrix trying to remove all traces of Voldermort from her. She looked up at Bellatrix and saw the memory in her eyes; saw that she remembered when she had shown Hermione what lay underneath the spell. The first time she had opened up to her properly. 

“I know enough. This burden doesn’t lie with you, Bella. You’re only human; we make mistakes. We regret, we grieve. That doesn’t mean that you hold onto what hurts you forever. You need to work through it. You need to remember the good that you’ve done. You need to remember the lives you’ve saved. You saved mine. You didn’t hurt me. It was a nightmare; nothing more.”

“I cut you up. I carved that awful name into your skin so that you’d never forget…”

Hermione felt herself tremble a little; she didn’t need Bellatrix to explain. She knew what the woman meant. She knew what word was carved into her in Bellatrix’s nightmare.

“Where?”

“What?”

“Where did you cut me?”

Bellatrix hesitated, her eyes flashing. 

“Your arm.”

Hermione rolled up the sleeves of her dressing gown, displaying her arms. Smooth skin, unmarred by any words, was visible in the firelight. 

“See? Nothing.”

Bellatrix’s hands reached out and she touched Hermione’s arms, trailing her fingers over them as if looking for a glamour or hidden marks. Hermione smiled at her weakly. 

“It’s as though I can’t shake the woman I pretended to be.” Bellatrix murmured as she released Hermione. “It’s as though she sits inside me, waiting for the moment that I’m weak enough that she can take over.”

“She won’t win.” Hermione replied, standing up. “She couldn’t. You’re stronger than her. You always were.”

Bellatrix’s lips twitched and Hermione knew that she had almost smiled. She felt a slight relief and then suddenly became aware that they were not alone. She turned to look at Professor McGonagall and found her in cat form, curled up and facing away from them. 

“She’s giving us privacy without giving us free rein,” Bellatrix murmured. “I don’t think she trusts us to be alone.”

The cat’s head rose and looked over its shoulders and then McGonagall had transformed back. She fixed them both with a look that was more fond than stern. 

“Well Bellatrix, can you blame me?”

Bellatrix looked rueful and Hermione returned to her seat, a little flushed. 

“We wouldn’t do anything. We’ve said, not until after exams-”

“Yes, I’m sure that whatever happened in the cupboard is a fine example of you two behaving.”  
Hermione flushed harder and Bellatrix choked on the sip of tea that she had been taking. McGonagall looked between them with a raised eyebrow. “Would someone like to tell me what you were talking about?”

“I was trying to prevent her from following me into a dangerous situation-”

“-I mean really it was a good attempt but she should have known that it wouldn’t stop me-”

“-You’re far too stubborn for your own good.”

“Says you.”

“Merlin, you two are perfect for each other,” McGonagall snorted. Bellatrix and Hermione both looked at her with wide eyes. “Now, now, don’t look at me like that; we’ve discussed this. I’m aware that you will be exploring what’s between the two of you when Miss Granger has finished school. It’s hardly a surprise. But please do try and keep within the bounds a little better? I’ve already had Poppy asking me if I knew that the two of you were close after your stint in the hospital wing.”

“Poppy’s a gossip.”

“Occasionally, Bellatrix, although we can all be guilty of that. Of course, it doesn’t help that her observations are grounded in truth.” McGonagall fixed them with a look before sighing. “That being said, I am aware that the situation is hardly usual. Given that Miss Granger seems to have such a positive effect on you, I can hardly stop the pair of you from seeing each other. You wellbeing is important to me, Bellatrix. I won’t stand in the way of something which can help you relieve some of the burden that you’ve been carrying around. I only ask that you resist taking any further steps until after school has finished, but I will not judge should Bellatrix need support and seek it in you, instead of me, Miss Granger.”

Hermione smiled and glanced at Bellatrix, who looked confused. 

“You… you’re telling us to keep our hands to ourselves but feel free to spend time together outside of classes?”

“I highly doubt you’d avoid the latter, even if I willed it. You seem to be drawn to each other no matter what, so I only ask that you don’t cause me any trouble or paperwork.”

Bellatrix looked taken-aback but Hermione snorted, earning her a slight smile from McGonagall. 

“I can live with that,” Hermione said, looking at Bellatrix. “Can you?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“We can still train on Saturday evenings, right?”

“Of course, if you wish,” McGonagall said. “I will even extend you the courtesy of not joining you again. Please don’t take advantage of my leniency in the matter.”

“We won’t.” Bellatrix replied firmly, leaning forward slightly. “We made a promise; nothing until Hermione has finished her exams. We’ll keep that promise.”

“Good,” McGonagall said, although there was a slight knowing look in her eyes that caught Hermione’s attention. “Well, how are you feeling now?”

Bellatrix took a deep breath and released it, nodding. 

“Better, thank you Minerva.”

“I doubt that the thanks lie with me. The moment that Miss Granger appeared you improved.”

Hermione’s heart warmed as Bellatrix looked at her with soft eyes. 

“Yes, I believe I did.”


	44. Studying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the lead up to exams, so Hermione is studying hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, don't worry I haven't abandoned this. Just taking my time to make sure that I finish it properly for you all.   
> I'm finding it difficult to keep up with comments so apologies if I don't reply; I am reading them and loving them!

“How is your studying going?” Bellatrix asked as she sent a hex at Hermione, who deflected it and retaliated with her own. 

“Good. Ginny and I have been spending every spare moment in the library. Luna and Neville too although sometimes they prefer to be alone together.”

Bellatrix chuckled and shot a barrage of spells at her and Hermione had to stop talking and focus on shielding herself. She sent one spiralling off; it hit the practice dummy which exploded. She glanced at it and then raised an eyebrow at Bellatrix. 

“You’re not holding back.”

“Do you need me to, little Lynx?” Bellatrix’s eyes glinted mischievously. “I thought you could handle yourself.”

Hermione shot back a few spells, smirking. 

“I can.” 

Bellatrix grinned and deflected the spells, stepping closer and pushing Hermione back. Hermione stood her ground, refusing to back down. 

“Oh look at you; brave, little Lynx.”

“You’re flirting more than you’re fighting.”

“Habit.” Hermione backed Bellatrix up and they repeated this dance, searching for weakness’ and finding none. “You’ve improved so much.”

“I have a great teacher.”

“Now who is flirting?”

Eventually, Hermione managed to almost disarm Bellatrix; the wand slipped from her grasp but the older woman jumped after it. Hermione let out a squeak as she was knocked to the ground and Bellatrix landed on top of her. 

“Oof!” The wind was knocked out of her and she gazed up at Bellatrix, a little dazed. 

“Are you alright?”

“Yes. Just… need to breathe.”

“Sorry,” Bellatrix murmured, pushing up on her hands. Hermione pouted. “You said you needed to breathe.”

“I can breathe with you on top of me.”

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and rolled to the side, laying on the floor next to Hermione. 

“We promised McGonagall.”

“I know, I know. I didn’t say we’d do anything. I just liked the feeling.” Hermione shot Bellatrix a grin; she chuckled and shook her head. 

“You are trouble.”

“Thank you.”

Laughing, Bellatrix stood and gave Hermione a hand to her feet. She pulled her close and Hermione felt Bellatrix’s breath against her ear as her arms rested around her. 

“Not long now, little Lynx.”

They parted as a shudder ran through Hermione. It was true. A month had passed since the attack in the forest and although Hermione was grateful to still be training with Bellatrix, she could think of many things she’d rather be doing instead. Her dreams were filled with different scenarios; she never asked Bellatrix if she’d seen anymore of them and the older woman never offered up the information. It was probably better that way; Hermione doubted whether she’d be able to concentrate on anything else or restrain herself if Bellatrix talked about those dreams. She’d want to make them into a reality. 

Bellatrix chuckled, breaking Hermione out of her thoughts. She flushed. 

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You were thinking it.”

“No, I believe you were thinking it.”

“I’m behaving.”

“Doubtful.” Hermione playfully smacked the older witch who laughed and caught her hand as it withdrew. She pressed a kiss to the palm. “Technically, that’s not cheating.”

“Technically, you’re stretching the truth a bit there and it’s very, very distracting.”

“Time for good girls to be in bed then.”

“Who said I’m a good girl?” Hermione challenged, much to Bellatrix’s amusement.

“Oh, pet, I certainly hope you aren’t.”

Hermione flushed bright red, leaving Bellatrix to cackle again as she released the younger witch. 

“You are…”

“I know,” Bellatrix smirked. “Come, you really should go to bed. I imagine you’ll spend the entire of tomorrow revising again.”

“That’s the plan.”

“You’ll do well,” Bellatrix replied as she held the door open. “I know you will.”

***

“Hermione,” Ginny whined, her face planted firmly in the book that she’d been reading. “I’m tired. Please can we take a break?”

“We started half an hour ago, Ginny.”

“Yeah but I didn’t really sleep and I revised all day yesterday.”

“Yes and a lot today.”

“But…”

“Ginny,” Hermione sighed. “I love you, but if you keep whining I’m going to hex you or not help you at all.”

Ginny lifted her head up and pouted. 

“Listen, I’m just saying, we study every day. We deserve breaks.”

“Yes we do. When we’ve been studying for longer than half an hour.”

Ginny rolled her eyes, fighting a laugh and got back to her book. She lasted another hour before she started sighing and Hermione raised her eyebrow.

“You know, you look like her when you do that.”

“Who?”

“You know who.”

“Voldermort?”

“Oh haha, very funny. You know exactly who I mean.”

“McGonagall?”

“No… well actually yes, now you mention it.”

Hermione rolled her eyes, her quill still scratching over parchment as she finished off Hagrid’s latest essay. 

“Well, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Good. But seriously. How have ‘training’ sessions been going?”

“Why did you say it like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you don’t believe we’re actually training.”

“Well I mean… if it was me…”

“We made a promise to not do anything.”

“Until when though? I mean I need to live vicariously right now.”

“You’ve got Harry.”

“Yeah but he’s not here. Your girlfr-” Ginny cut herself off and looked around, even though no-one was near them and they were whispering. “She is.”

“Yes,” Hermione whispered back. “And you know why we can’t. Until after exams.”

“I mean, school finishes in a couple of months, Hermione.”

“Yes, Ginny, I am aware that we only have two months left,” Hermione deadpanned. 

“So, what’s the plan? Are you going home or are you going to stick around and-”

“Ok, I think you’re right. Time for a break. Shall we go for a walk, outside?” Hermione didn’t wait for a response; Ginny had already excitedly jumped up from her seat, ready for the gossip. 

“Let’s go.”

“Shhhhhhhh!” Madam Pince’s voice came from behind the nearest shelves and Hermione fixed Ginny with a mock glare before they gathered their things and left the library. 

The spring air was crisp and as they walked through the grounds towards the lake, Hermione felt herself relax a little. She hadn’t been outside for a few days, since their last Care of Magical Creatures lesson. Now, she realised that she’d missed being able to breathe clean, fresh air and how much of a headache she’d apparently had. 

“Better?” Ginny grinned. 

“Shut up,” Hermione chuckled. “Yes.”

“I thought you’d not realised how long it’s been since you had air.”

“I’ve been a bit distracted.”

“Shocking. So go on then. Tell me the details.”  
“There aren’t any details. Not like you want anyway. We haven’t talked about what’ll happen right after school. We’ve talked about possibilities. But I don’t know what’ll happen when school finishes. I guess I can go home, maybe spend some time with mum and dad before I do… whatever I’m going to do.”

“You still haven’t figured it out?”

“I’m torn.”

“Well, well, I never thought I’d see the day when Hermione Granger didn’t have a plan in place.”

“Things change, you know?”

“Yeah. So, you and her?”

“She told me she’s thinking of taking some time out, if I want, so we can get to know each other properly.”

Ginny stopped and stared at her. 

“Wow. That’s… that’s huge.”

“Yeah.”

“This really is serious isn’t it?”

“Yes, I think it is.”

“Wow. I mean… that’s amazing. You’d said it was more than a crush but… I don’t know. That just adds a whole other level to it, doesn’t it?” 

“It does.”

“Well that’s cool. You both deserve some happiness, Hermione. You’ve both been through a hell of a lot at this place. It’s about time it let you have a break.”

Hermione wrapped her arm around Ginny’s shoulders and pulled her into a hug. She clung to her friend tightly, her eyes closed, grateful. 

“Thank you, Ginny. Love you.”

“Love you too.” Ginny pulled back, looking a little teary eyed. “Don’t tell your girlfriend though. She might hex me.”  
“Probably.” They both laughed and then continued towards the lake. Stopping on the shore, Hermione looked into the dark depths, wondering if the Giant Squid was around. “What about you, anyway?”

“What about me?”

“What’s the plan after school? I mean you’ve got the team to go and play for, so that’s sorted. Where are you going to live?”

Ginny chewed her lip. 

“Harry’s asked me to move in with him.”

“He has?”

“Yes. With him and Ron. Not sure I want to live with my brother again, but I do want to live with Harry…”

“I mean, wow. That’s… isn’t that relatively quick? I mean you’ve not technically been together for all that long.”

“I know, but when you’ve been through everything we have…? Besides, he’s the only person I’ll ever want, you know?”

Ginny cocked her head to the side to look at Hermione, who smiled. 

“Yes, I know.”

“Good. I want you to be happy, Hermione. I want us all to manage to be happy for once.”

“Me too. Do you remember what it was like to have a quiet life?”

“Nope.”

Laughing, they sat by the shore. Hermione lay back on the grass and looked up at the slightly cloudy sky. 

“I think I would be bored now, without some sort of adventure. You know?”

“Um… I mean… Depends what kind of adventure,” Ginny said, looking down at her with a half amused look on her face. “I could definitely do with life being a little quieter for a while.”

“I know. I’m not saying I want anything like we’ve had to deal with. I just… I want to do something more than sit and push papers; you know? I always thought I’d be working in a job that required a lot of paperwork. Make my way up to Minister… you know? But the idea now just makes me itch.”

“Itch?”

“You know? Like you can’t stay still. Maybe it’d go out of my system after a while, maybe it’s the aftermath of being on the run. I’m not sure.”

“Well, just make sure whatever you end up doing, you end up liking it. I can’t imagine being stuck in something I hated.”

“No,” Hermione mused quietly. “Me neither.”

They lay in the sunshine for a while, until Hermione felt her eyes drifting closed. She yawned and forced them open, nudging Ginny. 

“Ugh, what? I was just about to nap.”

“Yes, me too. We can’t, we have revision to do.”

“You know you’re going to ace the exams, right?”

“Only if I study.”

“Well bah humbug,” Ginny muttered. Hermione laughed. “What, is that not how you’re supposed to use that one?”

“Well… kind of I guess? It’s more about being a grump and a miser at Christmas, but I suppose it works well all year round. I just didn’t really expect it from you.”

“Hey, I listen. I take in your muggle stuff.”

“Mainly the chocolate.”

“Well yeah, can you blame me?”

“Not really,” Hermione chuckled. 

“Do you have any more? I could be convinced to go back to studying if there was chocolate.”

“I do. Do you want to come to my room after dinner and we’ll have chocolate and have the evening off?”

“Evening off?! Who are you and what have you done with Hermione?”

Hermione rolled her eyes and laughed with Ginny. 

“Yeah, yeah. I just don’t want to burn either of us out. We agreed Sunday evenings after dinner were study free.”

“Yeah but I just can’t believe you’ve kept it up,” Ginny teased, nudging her before jumping to her feet. “Alright, let’s go. The sooner we’ve revised, the sooner I can get dinner and be free.”

Chuckling as she shook her head, Hermione got up and slung her bag over her shoulder again, before they turned and walked back to the castle. 

***

“What’s this called again?”

“It’s a Tunnock’s Teacake.”

“Huh. Ok, I’ll give it a try.”

“You should.” Hermione watched as Ginny unwrapped the red and silver striped foil and went to take a bite. “Woah, woah, that’s not how you eat it!”

“Well how do you eat it?”

“Like this.” Hermione unwrapped her own and put it flat side up. She took a bite out of it, eating up the biscuity base. “Biscuit first. Then you lick out the mallow. Then you eat the chocolate shell.”

Ginny stared at her. 

“Ok, you’d think I’d have realised this before, but you are so gay.”

“What?” Hermione snorted, almost choking on some of the mallow she’d just licked.

“I’m serious. That’s the gayest way I’ve ever seen anyone eat anything.”

“It’s how I’ve always eaten it,” Hermione shrugged, laughing. 

“It was a sign,” Ginny said dramatically, before bursting into laughter again. “I think I’ll eat it my own way. I can’t do that without thinking about what you and Black will be getting up to when school finishes.”

Hermione gaped at her friend while Ginny howled with laughter at her expression, falling back on the bed and barely catching her teacake when she almost dropped it. 

“Ginny!”

“Oh Merlin, that was funny. Your face.”

Hermione felt the blood rushing to her face and shook her head, stuffing the rest of the teacake into her mouth. She chewed and swallowed before grabbing the pumpkin juice she had on the bedside table and drinking it. 

“You’re dreadful.”

“Yep,” Ginny grinned. “Come on, it’s not like we have many of these conversations left. School will finish and we’ll have to be adults. There’ll be less time to hang out; we’ll have jobs and relationships and goodness knows what to keep us busy. I feel like we should just enjoy the time we have now.”

“You’re right,” Hermione said, feeling a tinge of sadness. She pulled Ginny into a hug before releasing her and shaking her head. “Now eat that, before I take it back.”

Ginny smirked and started eating it. 

“Oh wow.”

“Told you.”

They ate their treats for a little while, chatting about random things, before Ginny fixed Hermione with a serious face. 

“Hermione?”

“Yeah?”

“Promise me… promise me that we won’t lose touch. That we’ll still have fun and do things like this? That we’ll spend Christmas’ together and...I don’t know. Just… not lose this. I love you; you’re like a sister to me. I don’t ever want to lose this.”

Hermione felt a tear prick at the corner of her eye and she blinked, trying to clear it. 

“Oh Ginny…” She shifted over and pulled her friend into a firm hug. “Of course we will. In fact, we should totally do that. Figure out some way to have regular girl’s nights. And Christmas… one day I’d like to be able to do Christmas with everyone, you know? My parents, you and your family, Harry…”

“Bellatrix?”

Hermione released Ginny and looked at her, surprised. 

“You called her by her first name.”

Ginny shrugged. 

“Yeah, well… figured you two are going to be a thing. Would be weird if I kept calling her Professor, or Black after, right? I mean… maybe sometimes Black. It seems to amuse her, so I think I can get away with it.”

“I… oh god you’re going to develop one of those ‘best friend and girlfriend gang up on me’ type things aren’t you?”

“Girlfriend hmm?” Ginny smirked. “Not heard you say that before.”

Hermione flushed. 

“Well… I guess it doesn’t feel right? Even when we do get to… it’s such a complicated thing. Girlfriend seems kind of…”

“I get what you mean. I guess you two will figure out what you want to be. And yeah, it’d be cool to have everyone for Christmas. Family, you know?”

“Yeah,” Hermione smiled, dreamily. “It really would.”


	45. Exams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's exam time for Hermione and her friends.

“Quills down,” Professor Vector called out across the Great Hall and Hermione sighed, putting down her quill and flexing her hand. “Please exit the hall calmly and leave your parchment for us to collect.”

Hermione stood and followed the other students out of the hall, mentally going over everything that she had done in the exam. She was sure that she’d done everything correctly but the nagging doubt followed her into the hallway and up the stairs. She was so preoccupied that she bumped into a third year who went sprawling. 

“Oh, god, I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok,” they replied, accepting Hermione’s hand to help them to their feet. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“Neither was I,” Hermione confessed. “You alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine thank you.” Hermione smiled and was about to go on her way before the third year stopped her. “Hey, um, I just wanted to say thanks. You know, for saving us all.”

“Um, that’s ok. The creatures weren’t exactly close to the castle and I didn’t really do much, it was more-”

“No, I meant, everything. You know, you, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley? I just wanted to say thanks.”

“Oh. No problem.”

The boy ducked his head, blushing and then hurried away down the stairs. Hermione stared after him for a minute and then shook herself and continued up the next flight. She would never get used to that kind of reaction, no matter how long passed, she was sure of it. 

Instead of heading back to the Common Room, Hermione headed towards Bellatrix’s quarters. She had been having tea with her occasionally and had her schedule memorised. She knew that Bellatrix wasn’t teaching right now and wanted to see if she was around, since it was the last exam of the week. She knocked on the door and waited. 

“Hermione Granger, what a pleasant surprise,” Bellatrix smirked as she opened the door. Hermione blinked, momentarily taken aback by Bellatrix being so flirtatious. “Come in.”

“You’re in a good mood.”

“How could I not be? You’re here.” Hermione flushed and Bellatrix closed the door behind her. The fire was on and Hermione shrugged off her robes, leaving her in just her shirt, jumper and skirt. 

“I wondered if you wanted a cup of tea; it was my last exam of the week today.”

“Ah yes, only three more to go.” Bellatrix leaned on the back of the sofa and studied her with a gaze that made Hermione warmer than the fire had. 

“Yes. Care of Magical Creatures, Charms and Transfiguration.”

“You looked relieved yesterday.” Bellatrix noted. 

“When I finished your exam?”

“Yes.”

“Well, it kind of felt like… one step closer to the end. You know?” Hermione smiled, biting her lip. Bellatrix smirked. 

“Yes, I know.” She stood and stepped forward, lifting her hand to cup Hermione’s jaw. Hermione felt a thrill run through her at the touch; it had been over two months since they had last kissed and she had missed it so much. Bellatrix’s thumb trailed over her cheekbone. “You have ink on your face.”

Hermione flushed immediately and ducked her head, making Bellatrix chuckle and tilt her head up again. 

“I must have got some on my hand and rested it on my cheek…”

“I think it’s endearing. Makes you look as though you’ve been buried in your work. It suits you.”

Hermione bit her lip again. Bellatrix moved closer and Hermione’s eyes fluttered closed. 

“Wait.” Bellatrix stopped as Hermione opened her eyes and frowned. “Have you been drinking?”

Bellatrix flushed and dropped her hand. 

“I had a glass.”

Hermione felt guilty instantly. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“No, it’s fine.”

“I jumped to conclusions; it’s friday, you can do whatever you-”

“Hermione. I said it’s fine because you’re right. I was about to pour another glass when you knocked.” It was Bellatrix’s turn to look guilty and she glanced over at the kitchen. “I had a bit of a bad day.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Bellatrix chewed her lip. 

“No. I want to talk about anything but that.”

“Ok, then that’s what we’ll do,” Hermione said gently, stepping forward and taking Bellatrix’s hand in hers. “Why don’t you sit down and I’ll make us some tea? Or a hot chocolate; would you prefer that?”

“Yes. Please.”

“With cinnamon?”

“Yes,” Bellatrix smiled gently and squeezed Hermione’s hand. “My sweet little Lynx.”

Hermione blushed and released Bellatrix to go to the kitchen. She picked up the bottle of firewhiskey and put the cork in it before washing the glass and putting it away. She put on the kettle and began to make their drinks. She was part way through when she realised that Bellatrix was leaning against the entrance to the kitchen, watching her. 

“What?” Hermione murmured, blushing lightly. 

“It’s so domestic.”

“I’ve been making cups of tea or hot chocolate for you for weeks. In fact I made them during Christmas. And you’re only just realising that it might be considered domestic?”

“I’m just realising that it’s something I want and hadn’t realised I was missing.”

Hermione looked over her shoulder at the other woman in surprise. 

“Really?”

“Yes. Is that so hard to believe?” Bellatrix padded closer to her and leaned against the counter, facing Hermione. “There’s something comforting in having moments of domesticity with someone you… care for.”

Hermione’s throat went dry. Had Bellatrix been about to say…

“Well. Yes. I agree.”

“Can I try something?”

“Yes?” Hermione breathed. Bellatrix stepped behind her and slowly, with hesitant movements, she wrapped her arms around Hermione’s waist. Hermione froze for a second and then relaxed into the touch. Bellatrix’s chin rested on her shoulder and watched as her hands shook as she poured the milk into their drinks. “This is what you wanted to try?”

“I saw it in a film and I thought… are you not comfortable?”

“I’m fine. I’m better than fine.” Hermione leaned into her a little more. “It’s just a little bit of a surprise.”

“The moment I saw you I knew things were going to be ok. I tried to play off how I’d been feeling but I was so close to snapping Hermione. Being close to you is… sometimes I think that it’s the only thing holding me together.”

“It’s not. You’re stronger than you think.” Hermione placed a hand on Bellatrix’s where they were entwined on her stomach. “But I’m happy to be here whenever you need me. Just tell me next time. Send a note. Something.”

Hermione felt wetness on her shoulder and looked over to see silent tears streaming down Bellatrix’s face. She released Hermione and backed away to wipe them from her face, shaking her head. 

“That’s the other thing. I can hear my mother’s voice in my head, telling me it's a weakness to need someone. It’s a weakness to cry.”

“It’s not. Everyone needs someone. Everyone needs to cry sometimes.”

“I know. It’s just about… fighting that voice.”

“We’ll get a new voice in your head. One that says it’s ok to not be ok.”

“I rather think that voice will be yours,” Bellatrix murmured. 

Hermione blushed once again. 

***

Hermione, Luna, Ginny and Neville headed down to Hagrid’s cabin early for their last exam. They were hoping to check in on Hagrid; the closer they got to the end of term the more they realised that they wouldn’t be able to drop in on their friend whenever they liked. Hagrid was sitting outside with Fang when they arrived and he greeted them with a big grin. 

“Hello! You’re early.”

“Hey Hagrid, we wanted to come and see you before the exam,” Ginny smiled. 

“There’s nothing wrong, is there?” He asked, suddenly looking nervous. 

“No, nothing wrong, for once,” Hermione reassured him. “We just missed you and with the end of term coming up…” 

Hagrid sniffed and nodded, his eyes growing a little watery. Hermione sat next to him and patted his hand. 

“Yeh, been thinking about that. It’s going to be odd, not having you lot around. Others are nice enough and all, but your group has always been special.”

“Cheer up Hagrid,” Neville said, smiling. “We’ll send you post and we’ll meet up with you in Hogsmeade when we can; it can be a regular thing maybe?”

“Nah, you have your lives to lead, can’t have you coming back for me.”

“We want to, Hagrid!” Hermione assured him. 

“Yes, friends are never to be forgotten,” added Luna. 

Hagrid’s tears had started rolling down his cheeks but at least now he seemed to be a little happier. 

“I couldn’t ask for better friends,” he said, standing. “Come here and give me a hug.”

The group hug tugged at Hermione’s heart; she would miss this. She was starting to notice just how much she’d miss Hogwarts; the people and the place. It was like a home; a home that had tried to kill her many times but a home nonetheless. 

“Well, that’s enough of that,” Professor McGonagall’s voice came from behind them and Hagrid released the group in surprise. “I’m sure I will start to get emotional too if you all carry on.”

They laughed and McGonagall smiled fondly at them. 

“Sorry, Professor, it’s just…”

“I know, Miss Granger. I know. Now, are we all ready for the examination? I can see the rest of your class coming down.”

The rest of the class could be seen in the distance, heading down the stone steps towards Hagrid’s hut. Hagrid hurriedly wiped his eyes and blew his nose in his giant handkerchief. 

“Yes, all ready Professor.”

“Good. Well, perhaps we have enough time for you to make me a cup of tea to keep me going while we observe the students, Hagrid?”

“Of course, Professor,” Hagrid said, relieved, and hurried into the hut to make her a cup of tea and pull himself together. 

Three hours later, Hermione collapsed into a seat by the fire, exhausted. Ginny landed on the sofa, looking even worse than Hermione. 

“That was the most insane exam I’ve ever had.”

“You’re telling me!” Ginny replied. “I can’t believe McGonagall laughed when Neville fell in the mud!”

“She didn’t, did she?”

“I saw her! She covered it with her tea but she was definitely chuckling.”

“Well it was pretty funny.”

“Thank goodness it won’t affect his marks.”

“Well no, falling in mud after you’ve completed the exam doesn’t count.”

“I need a bath.”

“Me too. Do you want me to sneak you into the Prefect’s bathroom?”

“Hermione, you goddess. Yes please.”

They parted to retrieve their toiletries and met back in the Common Room, slipping out and heading down the stairs. 

“I can’t believe our exams are over,” Hermione murmured. 

“Thank Merlin.”

“It’s a little sad though, isn’t it?”

“Sad to be finished with exams? You really are a bookworm,” Ginny teased. 

“Ha. Ha. I mean it’s sad to think that we’re finishing school. For all of the things that have happened… things will never be the same again. That one constant-”

“Don’t you make me cry.” Ginny cut her off, nudging her gently. “Please. I know what you mean. I’ve been feeling it too. But can we just have a hot bath and then go to dinner and not think about it?”

“Sure,” Hermione smiled. She could feel the same air of melancholy from Ginny as she felt herself and she resolved to celebrate with her friends instead of lingering on the sad things. Besides, a hot bath sounded heavenly. 

They had just rounded the corner onto the corridor where the bathroom was when Hermione looked up and saw Bellatrix walking down the corridor with Professor Pemble. She did a slight double take; it was still odd to see the women getting on amicably. Bellatrix spotted her, smiled and then raised her eyebrow as she scanned her. Hermione looked down at herself and was reminded that she was covered in mud. 

“Miss Granger, Weasley… just what have you two been up to?”

“Care of Magical Creatures exam, Professor,” Ginny replied. “We’re just heading for a bath before dinner.”

“And what, precisely, did you get up to in this exam?” Bellatrix’s eyes twinkled with humour. 

“We had to tame a Kelpie,” Hermione explained. “Use a placement charm for the bridle and ride it without getting thrown off.”

“By the looks of things, you might have failed,” Bellatrix said, but a sliver of concern passed over her face. 

“No, this was from afterwards,” Hermione reassured her. “Neville slipped and fell after he got off the Kelpie and landed in the mud. We helped him out of it.”

Both Bellatrix and Professor Pemble pressed their lips together, attempting not to laugh. 

“Oh,” Professor Pemble managed. 

“Well,” said Bellatrix. 

“Yes,” Hermione added. They all looked between each other and then Bellatrix and Pemble nodded to them before continuing the way they’d been going. Hermione and Ginny had reached the door to the bathroom before they heard a burst of laughter and cackling from down the corridor. They glanced at each other, grinning and went inside. 

“It’s so weird that they’re like… friends.” Ginny said as the bath ran, the soft smell of roses and rhubarb filling the air. Hermione had let Ginny choose since she hadn’t been in the bathroom before. 

“I know. I’m glad but I still take a moment to adjust whenever I see them talking without trying to kill each other.”

“So odd.” Ginny switched off one of the taps and tested the water with her toes. “It’s ready.”

“Cool.”

“No, it’s quite hot.”

“You’re hilarious.”

“I have my moments.”

They both slipped off their towels and sank into the water. Hermione dunked her whole head under, sure that she could feel mud in her hair. When she emerged and pushed her hair out of her face, Ginny splashed her. 

“Hey!”

“Oh come on, you had to have seen that coming.”

Hermione splashed her back and the next few minutes were filled with laughter and splashing. 

“I surrender!” Hermione cried, spluttering having inhaled water up her nose. 

“Ha! As if you thought you could defeat me, the mistress of all evil!”

“I should not have let you watch Sleeping Beauty.”

“I loved it. But seriously, I have brothers; you really can’t have thought you’d win.”

“Not for a second.” Hermione swam over to the edge where her towel was. “I’m starving; shall we go and get dinner?”

“Yeah, besides the bubbles are fading and I don’t want to see your bare ass.”

“You’d be lucky.”

They laughed as they dried off and dressed, then headed down to dinner after Hermione had used magic to dry their hair. 

“Neville! You’re looking clean this evening,” Ginny exclaimed as they joined their friends at the table. Neville threw a chip at her. 

“Shut up. I cannot believe I can kill a horcrux but I can’t walk two feet without falling in some mud.”

“I thought you looked rather dashing,” Luna said resting her head on his shoulder. Neville’s cheeks coloured and Hermione and Ginny smirked at him, earning them both another chip which Hermione managed to catch and throw back. 

“That’s terrible behaviour for a Head Girl,” Neville laughed. 

“School is almost over,” Hermione reminded him. “But yes, you’re not wrong. I should deduct points from us all.”

“You wouldn’t!” Ginny looked stricken. 

“No, obviously I wouldn’t,” Hermione nudged her, chuckling. “Come on, I’m starved.”

They dug into their food, laughing and talking about their exams and their plans for the summer. Ginny had already gotten her training schedule and she told them about it excitedly. Hermione smiled at her friends, listening to all their plans. She felt the sensation that she was being watched and she knew who it was without having to look. 

Bellatrix was sitting back in her chair, twirling her wand between her fingers and looking at Hermione with such attention that the younger woman could feel it across the room. She smiled, feeling the colour in her cheeks rising. Bellatrix smirked. 

“Oi,” Ginny nudged her, hissing. “Your gay is showing.”

“So?”

“You two have only got to make it until the end of school; don’t get caught now.”

“Oh it wasn’t that bad. Just a smile.”

“Uh huh,” Ginny snorted, still whispering. She leaned closer. “You looked like you wanted to have her for dessert.”

Hermione blushed hard and glanced up at the table to see Bellatrix’s amused expression before she turned to talk to McGonagall. Hermione looked at Ginny and raised her eyebrow, emboldened. 

“Well, maybe I do.”

Ginny’s draw dropped and then she exploded into laughter. 

“Merlin, you two will be the death of me.”

“Well, you said it,” Hermione shrugged and returned to her food. 

Thirty minutes later and they were making their way up to bed. Hermione felt bone tired; good food and all the stress from the exams being over had caught up with her. She peered through half closed eyes at Ginny as they said goodnight on the staircase and dragged her feet to bed. 

Changing into her tartan sleep shirt, she buttoned it up and climbed into bed gratefully, pulling up the covers and closing her eyes with a sigh. She was asleep moments later. 

Her dreams had settled since the creatures had been killed. They would occasionally appear but Belltrix would always appear, wand drawn, to defeat them as they closed in on her. Tonight, her dreams flicked between blurry images of the Malfoy ballroom and her dancing with Bellatrix, to dark, terrifying images that seemed out of place. She saw Voldermort and felt pain, she saw creatures clawing at the bars of cages and she felt guilt. She saw darkness and felt afraid. 

Hermione shot up in bed, panting. The bed sheets were twisted around her and she tore at them to release herself. She grabbed the map out of habit and tapped it, waiting to see Bellatrix’s feet. They were in her rooms. 

Hermione’s heart was beating fast. She knew that there was no way she could have seen the things she had seen in her dreams. She knew that they weren’t hers. She slipped out of bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and grabbed a pair of jeans, pulling them on without bothering to put on anything else. She slipped out of her room and through the abandoned Common Room, through the tapestry and into the corridor in a matter of minutes. Her feet cooled on the stone floor as she padded through the castle as quickly as she dared. She broke out into a run when she reached the corridor, pausing outside of Bellatrix’s door. Looking around, she knocked as loudly as she dared. She didn’t know if Bellatrix had woken up or if she was still having the nightmare. 

She waited anxiously and had just raised her hand to knock again when the door opened and Bellatrix appeared. She was dressed in the same robe that she had been in the first night that Hermione had knocked on her door; black silk with a velvet trim. Hermione’s eyes slipped over it briefly before her brain caught up and she remembered why she was there. 

Bellatrix’s eyes were dark and her hair was a little messy, but she showed no real sign that she had just had a nightmare. The fact that she stood back and let Hermione in without a word, spoke volumes. 

“Are you alright?” Hermione asked, as the door closed. 

“You saw?”

“Yes.”

“I hoped you hadn’t.” Bellatrix wrapped her arms around her waist and chewed her lip. “I didn’t want you to see those things.”

“I only got flashes. I was dreaming something else and it was like… getting them crossed.”

Bellatrix hummed sadly. 

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. I just want to know if you’re okay.”

“I’m fine,” Bellatrix waved her hand as though it was nothing. “I’ve had worse. Much worse. They’ve eased since… since I stopped drinking. Since you.”

Hermione gave her a small, understanding smile and stepped closer, reaching out her arms. Bellatrix accepted the hug and they stayed there for a while, Bellatrix’s fingers stroking through Hermione’s hair. 

“Are you okay?” She asked eventually as she released Hermione and stepped back a little to look at her face.

“I’m fine. I was just worried about you.” Hermione offered Bellatrix a smile that made Bellatrix bite her lip and look at her curiously. “What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for joining me on this journey; I'm sad now it's coming to a close. Not too many chapters left!


	46. A Little Handholding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione and Bellatrix hold hands...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... Because according to the Bellamione Cult on Discord, there's nothing more lewd than a little handholding.

  
Bellatrix brushed a stray strand of hair from Hermione’s face; tucking it behind her ear.  
Hermione’s eyelashes fluttered and her lips parted as Bellatrix’s fingers brushed her skin.

“How did you survive everything and come out so… good?” Bellatrix’s voice was low and gentle and it sent a buzz across Hermione skin. 

“I didn’t,” Hermione whispered. 

“Come out good?”

“Survive. Not completely. The person I was before is gone.”

Bellatrix’s fingers traced her jaw and Hermione’s breath caught. 

“You think that the person that you were, died?” Bellatrix said, her thumbs brushing against Hermione’s bottom lip. “I think she evolved. I think she thrived. Look at you Hermione. You’re glorious.”

Hermione’s eyes were heavy but she fixed them on Bellatrix's and pressed her lips to the pad of the other woman’s thumb in a slow, soft kiss. Bellatrix’s breath hitched. Her hands cradled Hermione’s face as she leaned forward; their noses brushing. 

“Bella…” Hermione’s voice sounded foreign to her; so thick with need. Bellatrix’s lips twitched in a smile. “Kiss me, please.”

The brush of plump lips against hers caused Hermione to inhale sharply before Bellatrix claimed her. Her kiss was possessive, all-consuming and Hermione felt as though every nerve in her body was connected to her lips. She surged forward, gripping Bellatrix’s hips to hold her close. When Bellatrix’s fingers tangled in her hair, nails scratching against her scalp, Hermione moaned. Bellatrix’s tongue slipped inside and Hermione’s heart thudded hard as she gripped her harder, so hard that she thought she might be bruising her through the fabric of her robe. Bellatrix relinquished her mouth, her lips peppering her skin, along the line of her scar, her jaw and to her neck, while Hermione gasped for air, delirious from the sensation. It was as though Bellatrix was intent on devouring her and Hermione let out a whimper at the thought, as Bellatrix bit her gently. 

Hermione’s hands left Bellatrix’s hips and threaded in the woman’s wild hair, dragging her back to her mouth for a long, desperate kiss that pulled a moan from the other woman’s mouth. 

“Hermione…” Bellatrix’s thumb stroked her cheek as they both paused, panting, their foreheads pressed together. “I promised… I can’t…”

“I know,” Hermione cried, still clinging to her. “Just keep kissing me.”

“I might not be able to stop if I do,” Bellatrix warned, her hand tangling in Hermione’s hair again despite her words. 

“I don’t want you to stop. Exams are over,” Hermione’s lips pressed briefly against Bellatrix’s leaving them both in a daze; desire coursing through them. “I trust you. I want you.” She pressed another kiss to Bellatrix’s lips, her tongue flicking out briefly to wet them. “I love you.”

Bellatrix stared at Hermione for a moment, her eyes full of wonder, desire and warmth. Then her lips claimed her again, gently at first before her insistent tongue demanded access. Hermione was consumed with desire and she barely noticed that they were moving until she was pressed against solid wood. Bellatrix’s hand slipped down her side, over her hip and to her thigh. Hermione lifted her leg and Bellatrix’s hand slipped under; supporting her as she wrapped it around Bellatrix’s hip. As the older woman pressed in to Hermione she moaned, her hips moving, desperate for some friction. Hermione felt Bellatrix’s smirk against her lips and responded by nibbling her lip and then pulling it between her teeth. She opened her eyes to see Bellatrix’s eyes darken further, something she hadn’t thought was possible and then she gasped as Bellatrix gripped her other leg and lifted her off the floor. She clung to Bellatrix, throwing her arms over her shoulders and moaning as Bellatrix pinned her between the door and her stomach. Bellatrix’s hot and insistent mouth began a trail of kisses from Hermione’s neck, over her collarbone where she paused to lick and suck, before moving across the parts of her chest that were exposed. 

Hermione ached. She was on fire and she could gain no friction. Her muscles tightened in her legs, trying to pull Bellatrix against her more, hoping for some release. 

“Bella…” she whined and Bellatrix, her face buried against heaving breast and tartan sleep shirt gave a low chuckle. One hand released Hermione’s thigh and then they tumbled through the now open door. Bellatrix managed to steady them, allowing Hermione to slip down her body until she was standing on trembling legs. Closing the door behind them, Bellatrix leaned against it, her chest rising and falling fast as she surveyed Hermione, whose fingers had slipped to the buttons of her shirt. She managed to release two, moving slowly towards Bellatrix, before the other woman grabbed her by the material and pulled her to her again. 

As her fingers wound their way into Bellatrix’s hair again, Hermione marvelled at how alive she felt with Bellatrix exploring her skin. She had never experienced anything like this; it was as though Bellatrix intended to taste every inch of her with a loving and yet ravenous desire. She felt her mouth moving over her breasts and her fingers tightened as that mouth enveloped a straining nipple, sucking and releasing with a pop. She wasn’t sure how much longer her legs would support her if this continued and they buckled as a hot tongue circled and teased her nipple. Bellatrix’s arm circled her, practically holding her upright as Hermione’s back arched and her head was thrown back, her nipple between the teeth of the older woman. 

Only when she had explored both nipples thoroughly, leaving them wet and straining in the cool air, did Bellatrix straighten and guide Hermione back to the bed, kissing her gently with every step. 

She lowered her onto the bed and Hermione’s back arched as Bellatrix’s mouth moved down again, mapping the valley between her breasts until she reached where the shirt was still buttoned. With a reverence that Hermione had not been expecting, Bellatrix slowly unbuttoned the shirt, kissing every inch of smooth, creamy skin as it was revealed. 

As the last button was dealt with, Hermione’s hips rose; Bellatrix’s lips brushed the band of her trousers and the skin that met it. 

“Please…” she heard herself saying as she felt Bellatrix hesitating at this final barrier. She reached forward and lifted Bellatrix’s head with a gentle hand on her chin. Dark, onyx eyes stared at her, pupils blown wide. They raked over Hermione’s exposed skin, as steady hands gently parted the shirt further, until it only covered her arms. Hermione felt a blush colour her skin as Bellatrix’s eyes drank her in and she stroked wayward curls from the older woman’s face gently. 

“You’re sure?” Bellatrix’s voice was hoarse, filled with want and desire, but also a tenderness that made Hermione ache even more. 

“Yes, I’m sure.”

With a small smirk, Bellatrix bit her plump bottom lip and shifted lower, using her long, lithe fingers to undo the button of Hermione’s jeans. She pulled on the material a little and the zip began to open itself, allowing Bellatrix to reveal Hermione’s hips. She pressed a kiss to her hip bone as she tugged the material, her tongue flicking out to wet the raised bone before biting it. Hermione’s hips jerked again and a low chuckle sounded in Bellatrix’s throat as she finally removed the jeans, pulling them swiftly down toned legs. Hermione giggled when she momentarily struggled to remove the trousers from around her ankles, but it quickly turned into a squirm when Bellatrix fixed her with a heated stare and laid a kiss on her bare ankle. 

Hermione couldn’t keep still as Bellatrix kissed slowly up her leg, holding it slightly aloft until she reached her inner thigh. There, fixing Hermione with another ravenous gaze, she pressed a chaste kiss above her clit, a promise of what was to come, before slipping down to the opposite foot and beginning the process again. 

Hermione’s protest died on her lips as she gripped the sheets and panted. As if she hadn’t waited long enough for this; Bellatrix seemed intent on taking her time. When the older woman stopped, hovering between her thighs and placed another chaste kiss in the same spot, Hermione’s eyes were fixed on her, waiting for the next move. When Bellatrix seemed to go to repeat the torture again, Hermione snapped. 

“Don’t you dare,” she groaned through a haze of desire so heavy that she could feel her stomach muscles contracting as she breathed hard. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

“Such language, Miss Granger.”

Bellatrix’s chuckle was throaty and she placed one gleeful kiss on Hermione’s ankle before crawling back up to kiss her soundly on the lips. 

Bellatrix’s thigh pressed into Hermione, eliciting a moan from her which Bellatrix swallowed. She ground into the woman below her, finding her hands and threading their fingers together so she could feel Hermione’s responses to every rock of her hips. Hermione squeezed her fingers tightly and spread her legs a little wider, meeting every movement. 

It wasn’t enough. Hermione let out a whimper as Bellatrix let go of her hands and used one to support herself, as the other teased her nipple with a rough thumb. The hand slid down and oh, Hermione had never realised how wonderful hands trailing over skin could feel. 

But it was nothing to the moment when Bellatrix finally cupped her, feeling the wetness between her thighs. Hermione’s back arched as Bellatrix teased her entrance, her thumb brushing light circles over her clit. It was too much and too little all at the same time and Hermione opened her mouth to chastise, to beg; she didn’t know what, but Bellatrix silenced her with a kiss as she finally entered her. 

If Hermione’s nerve endings had been on fire before, they were exploding now. She could only grip the sheets and concentrate on remembering that she needed air, because every ounce of her was focussed on the sensation of Bellatrix inside her. 

Bellatrix’s fingers curled and Hermione’s hips lifted reflexively, causing Bellatrix to give her a smug smirk and curl them again. Hermione writhed under Bellatrix; long fingers sliding in and out of her at an agonisingly slow pace, causing her to grip the sheets until her knuckles were white. Bellatrix curled her fingers on each thrust and Hermione’s hips rose up to meet each one, panting as she felt her muscles beginning to clench. She was torn, desperate for sweet release and yet determined to make this sensation last for as long as possible. 

Bellatrix’s pace picked up as she kissed Hermione hard before moving to kiss and suck her earlobe into her hot, questing mouth. 

“Bella… oh god… Bella…” Hermione was practically delirious, lost in the sensation of Bellatrix on top of her, inside her, breathing heavily into her ear as she fucked her. 

Hermione quivered, her hands flexing against the bed, one releasing the sheet fully to tangle in Bellatrix’s hair again. The other slipped over a satin covered hip and up to the small of her back, finding a sliver of regret in not being able to touch skin. Bellatrix’s breathing picked up as Hermione’s nails scratched against her scalp and through the haze Hermione grinned. She scratched her scalp again as she moaned and Bellatrix inhaled sharply against her before growling and curling her fingers, making Hermione gasp too. Then Hermione felt Bellatrix brush her clit with her thumb and she cried out, her hips jerking, on the very edge. 

“Come for me,” Bellatrix breathed into her ear, her tongue flicking out to taste Hermione’s neck. The words sent a jolt through Hermione and with one last thrust of talented fingers, she fell apart.

The orgasm burst through her whole body as though she had become a firework; exploding and shattering into a thousand sparks. She gasped for breath as her body shuddered, protected by Bellatrix’s weight on top of her. The older woman let her ride out the orgasm with fingers still gently stroking, her lips dropping hot, open-mouthed kisses along Hermione’s jaw as she watched her. 

When Hermione could catch her breath, dragging it into a throat hoarse from the garbled cry she had uttered, Bellatrix slid her fingers gently out of her, collapsing to her side and smiling. 

“Oh… my… I… fuck, Bella…” Hermione murmured between breaths. 

“Going to finish any of those sentences?” Bellatrix grinned, kissing Hermione’s exposed shoulder. 

“Probably not,” Hermione chuckled, managing to roll over onto her side to look at Bellatrix, who was studying her still-slick fingers mischievously. “What?

“Do you remember when you asked what you tasted like; on New Year’s Eve?” 

Hermione’s throat was dry as she responded, barely in a whisper.

“Yes?”

Bellatrix raised her fingers to her lips and, after a pause in which she levelled Hermione with a smouldering look, she took them in her mouth. Her eyes fluttered closed and Hermione watched as she sucked, her own mind going blank. The fingers slid in and out of the plump, red lips twice before Bellatrix opened her eyes and smirked at the look on Hermione’s face. 

“You’re sweeter than I could have ever imagined. You taste… like hope and desire.”

Hermione lurched forward, grasping Bellatrix’s hair in her hands and pulling her into a deep kiss. She tasted herself on Bellatrix; their tastes mingling and making her feel drunk with delight. She rolled them over, throwing her leg over Bellatrix’s hip and pinning her down. Bellatrix smirked as Hermione tugged off the sleep shirt that was hanging on at her elbows before taking hold of the tie that kept Bellatrix’s robe together. Hermione pulled gently, watching the smooth material of the knot unravel. Bellatrix was watching her intently, desire pooling. When the knot was gone, Hermione copied Bellatrix’s earlier movements, slowly kissing every inch of skin revealed as she opened the robe, marvelling at the beauty of the woman beneath her. She only registered what this meant when she reached black lace underwear.   
“You answered your door with only these underneath?” Her voice was thick and muffled as she kissed the line between skin and lace. 

“Yes…” Bellatrix’s voice was hoarse, her eyes tightly closed. Hermione paused and crawled to hover over her, kissing her lips gently. 

“Look at me.” Bellatrix’s eyes fluttered open and Hermione inhaled sharply as she saw the desire there. “Do you sleep like this?” She asked, trailing her fingers down Bellatrix’s neck, over her chest and between her breasts, before lowering herself to kiss the perfect, rosy nipples gently. Bellatrix’s back arched into the touch. 

“No,” she replied, her voice even more strained than before. “I usually sleep naked, unless it’s winter.”

Hermione groaned and took her left nipple in her mouth, swirling her tongue around it, feeling it hardening further. She dropped a light kiss to it and repeated her attention on the other. Bellatrix’s fingers tangled in her hair and scratched her scalp tenderly, prompting Hermione to release her nipple and return to kissing her. 

Kissing Bellatrix was a heady experience; Hermione was so lost in it that she almost forgot that she had other areas of her to explore. Almost. She could feel herself leaving a slick trail over Bellatrix’s stomach as her hips moved in response to the older woman sucking her lower lip into her mouth with her teeth. When she released it with a groan, Hermione shifted back, pulling her into a sitting position and pushing the robe down, off of her shoulders. She kissed the pale shoulders as they were revealed and felt Bellatrix’s muscles flex as she helped to remove her arms from the sleeves. Recapturing Bellatrix’s lips momentarily, Hermione’s hand gathered one of her breasts and palmed it; Bellatrix’s nails scratched her back and Hermione moaned into her mouth. She gave Bellatrix a little push to have her lay on her back and the other woman smirked at her.

“You’re so beautiful,” she murmured, tracing the curves of the woman in front of her with her eyes. Bellatrix’s smirk dropped and she chewed her bottom lip, eyeing the naked form on top of her. She looked almost doubtful of the sincerity behind Hermione’s words.   
Hermione melted at the momentary vulnerability and took the time to place a soft, loving kiss on Bellatrix’s lips, before moving down to the lace pants again. 

With a slow, almost reverent kiss on the fabric, Hermione peeled them off. Undressing Bellatrix was like worship; every inch that was revealed made her pray that this night would never end. When Bellatrix was fully naked before her, her legs slightly spread, Hermione bit her lip, tracing her body with a hot gaze that made goosebumps flare across Bellatrix’s pale skin. 

“You’re unbelievable,” she murmured, letting her fingertips trail softly over her skin; whether scarred or smooth she marvelled at the way she felt. Bellatrix shuddered and Hermione smiled, lowering herself slowly so that her head rested between thighs that twitched when she kissed them. She could smell Bellatrix’s arousal and wasted no time in placing a kiss at her entrance. Bellatrix growled and clung to the sheets, her legs parting further. 

Hermione’s first real taste of Bellatrix made her moan, the vibration and sound combined making the older woman gasp. She had no real clue what she was doing, only that gathering up Bellatrix’s wetness on her tongue was something that she would never tire of. She found herself making shapes with her tongue against Bellatrix’s clit; spelling out the woman’s name and then her own and feeling Bellatrix writhing under her. She had gotten to the ‘o’ in her own name when Bellatrix cried out, her hips bucking. Hermione repeated the shape and Bellatrix’s hips rose again. Smirking, Hermione began creating circles around her lover’s clit, her hands grasping full hips to keep her still. When Bellatrix’s fingers tangled in her hair and pulled, Hermione whimpered and licked harder; Bellatrix’s moans had increased and her body seemed to have a mind of its own. When she came, with a loud moaning scream, it was because Hermione had sucked her clit hard and the younger woman then lapped up the results with delight. Bellatrix was still quivering when Hermione crawled up and wrapped herself around her torso, planting a satisfied kiss on Bellatrix’s jaw. Bellatrix gathered her closer, responding with a kiss to the top of her head. 

They lay there, wrapped up in each other, as Hermione listened to Bellatrix’s heart slow down as she trailed her fingers softly over the younger woman’s arm. 

“Does it always feel like this?” Hermione murmured, shifting so that she could look at Bellatrix, who was watching her tenderly. 

“No. Not for me,” Bellatrix responded after a moment. “I’ve never felt so… connected before.”

Hermione grinned and placed a kiss on her lover’s lips. 

“I loved it.”

Bellatrix chuckled. 

“Well, that’s a relief.” Her smirk grew. “You were enjoying it so much that you started writing. Always the bookworm.”

It took Hermione a moment, but when realisation hit, she blushed hard. 

“Wait, you knew?”

“Writing my name and then yours with your tongue? Can’t say I’ve ever experienced that technique before,” Bellatrix teased as she rolled them over, pinning Hermione underneath her. Hermione ducked her head, embarrassed. 

“Was it okay?”

“Did my orgasm not answer that for you?” Bellatrix murmured, gently hooking Hermione’s chin with her finger and placing a kiss on her lips, looking into her eyes. Hermione blushed deeper under the tenderness. 

“Yes. I just…” Hermione sighed and tangled her hands in Bellatrix’s hair, stroking it as it fell in curtains around them. 

“You’re worried about experience?” Bellatrix finished for her. Hermione nodded. “Don’t be. You’ve always had a talented tongue and it appears to be a transferable skill.”

Hermione was beetroot red and pulled Bellatrix close, hiding her face in the older woman’s hair as her heart pounded. Bellatrix chuckled, removing herself and kissing Hermione soundly.

“Let me show you how you made me feel,” she said throatily, starting to kiss down Hermione’s chest. “Let me make you forget everything except us and this.”

Hours later, sated and exhausted, they lay tangled in each other; Bellatrix’s arm around Hermione who was snuggled into her side, her head on the older woman’s shoulder. Her eyelashes fluttered and she sighed happily. She felt so full and completely drained at the same time. Bellatrix’s fingers stroked lazily over her arm and her breathing was even. Hermione wondered if she was drifting off to sleep and turned her head a little to look at her face. Bellatrix’s eyes were closed, a little smile gracing her lips. Hermione was transfixed, a smile on her own lips, which widened when one of Bellatrix’s eyes cracked open and she smirked. 

“What are you doing?” Her voice was rough from hours of sex and Hermione thought that, paired with sleepiness, it was sweeter than she had ever thought Bellatrix capable of a year ago.

“I was thinking that you looked peaceful. Happy even.”

“I would imagine that’s because I am,” Bellatrix replied softly after a moment. “For the first time in a long time.”

They drifted off together, entwined and breathing in sync. Hermione would realise, the next morning when she woke up, that it was the happiest, and safest, that she had felt in a long time too. 


	47. School's Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another year gone... Hermione says goodbye to Hogwarts and announces her plans for the coming year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter goes out to Zoe, my buddy, whose birthday it is today and who is the best shovel wielder I know, and Ludo, who leaves such fantastic comments and totally called a moment in this chapter AS I was writing it.

The final days of school were spent in a haze of lazy days spent outside in the summer sunshine; of essays being returned and discussions about the future. Hermione and Bellatrix had not spent another night together, although the promise of many more occasions in the future kept smiles on their faces whenever they saw each other. 

Hermione dipped her toes in the water, keeping an eye on a group of first years playing with the giant squid, and let out a contented sigh. 

“Big sigh,” Ginny murmured from where she lay stretched out on the grass, eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the sun. 

“Happy sigh.”

“Thinking about your girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Hermione rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the smile that crept onto her lips. 

“Well, what is she then?”

“She’s… I don’t know. School isn’t over yet.”

“So what happens when school is over?” Ginny sat up and gave her an evil smirk. “You get to get under Black’s tightly-laced corsets?”

Hermione’s eyes widened and she smacked Ginny, who was laughing. 

“Gin! What the hell?”

“What? I mean, I don’t really want to think about Black naked or anything, but you do. So, you know… get it girl.”

“You have been watching too much television.”

“I have not.”

“I slightly regret working out how to stop magic messing with technology.”

“Which, by the way, you should totally end up on a chocolate frog for. The muggle-wizard alliance loves movie night.”

“I know. I’m really glad.”

“I wish it’d been around when we started.”

“But it’s good to know that it’s going to be around when we’ve gone. Maybe it’ll help. I’m just glad there are some purebloods joining.”

“Yeah,” Ginny took Hermione’s hand and squeezed it. “This school has changed so much in the last few years. But it’s changed the world too. It’s funny to think that, isn’t it?”

Hermione squeezed Ginny’s hand back and smiled gently. 

“I want to keep changing the world, Gin.”

“Me too.”

Hermione grinned. 

“Let’s do it then.” She climbed to her feet, pulling Ginny up with her. “Let’s change the world.”

Ginny laughed and gave her a hug.

“I love you, ‘Mione.”

“Love you too, Gin.”

***

The last feast of the year would be starting soon and Hermione was staring at her suitcase, wondering how it was possible that school would be officially over tomorrow. It seemed as though this year had gone exceptionally quickly, despite it seeming as though it might stretch on forever when she was waiting to be able to touch Bellatrix. To hold Bellatrix. 

The smile she wore only for her soon-to-be ex-teacher slipped onto her lips and she sat down on the bed and let herself fall back. One more night. That was all that stood between them and the future. She closed her eyes and remembered the conversation they had had the morning after their night together. 

_Hermione’s eyelashes fluttered and she breathed in a familiar smell that made her smile. She slowly became aware that fingers were trailing over her back and hair was tickling her nose. She breathed in the familiar scent of cinnamon, orange and wood-smoke and smiled, opening her eyes._

_“Good morning.”_

_Bellatrix’s voice was raspy from sleep and Hermione’s body thrummed with the effect it had on her. She looked up and found a soft smile on Bellatrix’s lips; her fingers continued to trace patterns on Hermione’s back._

_“Morning,” Hermione smiled. “You look beautiful.”_

_Bellatrix scoffed and shook her head, embarrassed. Her chaotic curls cascaded around her face and across the pillow and her eyes were slightly blurry from sleep, but Hermione thought that it was possible her favourite version of Bellatrix. She leaned up and pressed a kiss to the older woman’s lips, parting with a light tearing sound as she smiled._

_“Accept it. I’m a know-it-all, remember? I’m right.”_

_“You’re far too awake right now. How is that even possible? You just woke up.”_

_“Yes, but I woke up to you, so it’s the best morning I’ve had in a long time.”_

_Bellatrix rolled her eyes, but her cheeks were flushed as she shook her head again._

_“I think I need a coffee to handle you.”_

_“You didn’t need it to handle me last night,” Hermione gave her a sly smirk which made Bellatrix’s eyebrow raise._

_“My, you’re a feisty little Lynx, aren’t you?”_

_Rather suddenly, Hermione found herself on her back with Bellatrix straddling her, pinning her arms either side of her head with a victorious smirk._

_Well, that was definitely the best kind of sight in the morning._

_Bellatrix’s kisses peppered across her jaw, neck and chest and Hermione arched into her, letting out a shuddering breath as she felt teeth graze her nipple._

_“Bella…”_

_Bellatrix made love to her, taking her time until Hermione was trembling and gasping underneath her. When she came, her cry was cut off by Bellatrix’s lips claiming hers in a hot, breathless kiss._

_It was another hour before they managed to drag themselves away from bed and Bellatrix began boiling the kettle. Hermione leaned against the wall and watched her, unable to keep the grin from her lips._

_“You look like the cat that got the cream,” Bella chuckled, rolling her eyes._

_“I mean… I kind of am,” Hermione smirked and Bellatrix groaned._

_“That was dreadful.”_

_“You started it.”_

_“Is this what life is going to be like now?”_

_“If that’s what you want,” Hermione said, tilting her head. Bellatrix put down the kettle and gave her a small smile._

_“Yes, Hermione. I could imagine this being my future quite happily.”_

_Hermione blushed and Bellatrix smirked._

_“Good. I’ve been thinking about after school.”_

_“Oh yes?” Bellatrix poured their drinks, listening. “You’ve decided what you’re going to do?”_

_“Yes,” Hermione smiled, taking the mug gratefully. “I want to travel with you. I want to see the world and I want to spend time learning about different magical communities, wizard and creature. I’m not ready to sit behind a desk; I think I want another adventure.”_

_Bellatrix sipped her drink, waiting to see if Hermione was finished. When she was sure that she was, she put down her mug._

_“An adventure, hmm?”_

_“If you’re alright with that,” Hermione replied, thumbs skimming over the mug she still held. “I want to do it with you.”_

_Bellatrix grinned._

_“I’ll follow you anywhere.” She hooked her finger in Hermione’s shirt and pulled her in for a kiss, narrowly avoiding Hermione’s mug._

_“Good,” Hermione grinned against her lips, putting her mug down on the counter behind Bellatrix. “Because I think we both know that I feel the same way.”_

The knocking on her door brought Hermione out of her memories. She sat up. 

“Who is it?”

“Who do you think it is?” Ginny’s voice came through the door. “It’s the friend who is wasting away, looking forward to her last Hogwarts feast that she’s going to be late to because her friend is taking forever to get moving.”

“Why are you on the other side of the door?”

“Merlin, ‘Mione.” The door opened and Ginny stood there, smirking. “I didn’t want to barge in on you having hot, lesbian sex.”

Hermione blushed and sent a friendly glare her way. 

“You really think I’d have ‘hot, lesbian sex’ in my dorm room the day before school is over? What kind of stupid risk-”

“Oh please, like you two ae so controlled. Don’t think I don’t see the looks you give each other. Now get your ass moving. I want food and I want it now.”

“Bossing around the Head Girl; bold move right before the House Cup announcement.”

“Oh please, like you’d dare.” Ginny grinned as Hermione jumped off of her bed and joined her. “Finally; let’s go.”

“You’d think you hadn’t eaten in weeks,” Hermione laughed as they went downstairs. 

The Hall was brightly decorated and noisy when they arrived, with the special leaving feast covering the tables. Hermione’s stomach rumbled as she took a seat opposite Neville. Luna had joined them and was sitting with her head on Neville’s shoulder, smiling wistfully at them. 

“Hello.”

“Hey Luna, Neville. This looks amazing.”

“Damn right!” Ginny said, beginning to pile her plate with food. 

“Merlin, you’re almost as bad as your brothers.”

“No, I have manners.”

They chuckled and began to discuss the House Cup. At last count, Gryffindor and Slytherin had been neck and neck and Bellatrix had been walking through the halls with a smirk on her lips all day. Hermione piled some mash potato on her plate as Ginny scoffed. 

“Of course we’re going to win. We can’t let Slytherin win.”

“Ginny, be fair.”

“Hermione, I want to leave this school with a victory.”

“You won the Quidditch cup.”

“And?”

“That counts as a victory.”

“Still.” Hermione laughed and rolled her eyes as Ginny chewed on her food. “Don’t tell me that your house loyalty is being tested by a certain someone?”

“No,” Hermione rolled her eyes. “I still hope we win. I just don’t think all Slytherins are bad.”

“Alright, I’ll give you that one.”

“I’m going to miss you two,” Neville said and they looked across the table to see his eyes watering. 

“Oh Neville! We’ll still hang out all the time. We should have a regular meal or something. Leaky Cauldron?”

“I’m down,” Hermione grinned. “Although I fully intend to travel, remember?”

“Yeah yeah, we’ve all got plenty of stuff to sort. But maybe when it all dies down? We could set up something when we all know what hours we work, when my training schedule is and everything?”

Neville nodded, wiping his tears away and squeezing Luna into his side more, dropping a kiss on her forehead. 

“Sounds good.”

“Sorted,” Ginny grinned and took a huge bite of food that had been hovering in front of her lips for a little while. She groaned in delight and they all laughed again. 

Hermione glanced up at the top table now and found Bellatrix immediately. She was sitting next to McGonagall, smiling at something the Headmistress was saying. She leaned in to respond and Hermione watched as McGonagall’s eyes twinkled and she patted Bellatrix’s hand briefly. Hermione’s heart warmed. It was so good to see Bellatrix smiling freely. 

Just as the thought crossed her mind, Bellatrix glanced up and, seeing Hermione looking at her, her smile widened. Hermione felt her cheeks heat and she bit her lip; images of Bellatrix’s lips trailing down her neck and across her chest flooded her mind. 

Ginny coughed and Hermione glanced around at her, only to see her friend waving at Bellatrix with a shit-eating grin on her face. Hermione glanced back at Bellatrix whose eyebrow had risen. She seemed to have pressed her lips together in an attempt to not smile anymore, but Hermione recognised the look. 

“She’s soooooo gay for you,” Ginny muttered into her ear. 

“Gin!” Hermione hissed, her face reddening and she covered it with her hands. 

“Mhmmmmmmmmmm.” Ginny teased her, but stopped waving. “You sure you’re joining us on the train tomorrow?”

“Yes,” Hermione rolled her eyes. She looked back to Bellatrix and chewed her lip. She supposed they hadn’t really discussed it. Was Bellatrix expecting her to stay behind? She should ask her. 

The noise in the hall died down and Hermione saw Professor McGonagall was standing, commanding the attention of the room. Hermione nudged Ginny, whose face was full of mashed potato, and they turned to listen. 

“The end of another year,” Professor McGonagall said, her eyes sweeping over the students in front of her. “A year that is possibly the most important in our recent history, not because of the horrors that we have faced but because we did not let them defeat us. You are all here, in spite of what the magical community has been through; in spite of what happened at this very school only last year. You have all shown extraordinary bravery, loyalty, intelligence and resourcefulness and we, as your teachers, could not be more proud of you. Hogwarts exists because you fought for it, not only last year in battle, but in the aftermath, when all we could do was rebuild and strive for a brighter future. Congratulations students, and thank you.”

The hall erupted into a standing ovation, with some students even standing on their seats to cheer loudly above the heads of others. McGonagall allowed them a few moments of this before signalling for them to quiet down and sit down. The teachers who had applauded either side also sat down and McGonagall allowed them all a glimpse at one of her rare smiles as she looked around the hall again. 

“Now, I know that you are all waiting for the results of the House Cup so I shall not hold you back from your last feast of the year by withholding the information any longer. In fourth place, we have Hufflepuff with three hundred and nineteen points, in third, Ravenclaw, with three hundred and thirty points,” McGonagall paused and looked around at Bellatrix and Pemble before continuing. “Gryffindor with four hundred and fifty points and Slytherin with four hundred and fifty one points.”

The Slytherin table erupted into thunderous applause and cheers, drowning out the groans from Gryffindor. Hermione’s flicker of disappointment was drowned out the moment that she spotted Bellatrix’s victorious grin. 

“Congratulations Slytherin,” McGonagall said, handing the Cup to Bellatrix, who presented it to the Slytherin Prefect. McGonagall clapped her hands and then raised them; the banners rippled into silver and green above their heads. 

Bellatrix shook Professor Pemble’s hand with a smug grin on her face, but instead of the glare that she would have probably received a few months ago, the other woman just narrowed her eyes and gave her a begrudging smirk back. Hermione felt a small twinge of jealousy but shoved it down; it wasn’t that she was jealous because she thought there was something going on. It was more that they could be so open with their friendship. Even with school over, would she and Bellatrix be able to be open straight away? It wasn’t as though they were low profile in the Wizarding community; practically everyone knew them both on sight. 

As if sensing Hermione’s thoughts, Bellatrix looked over at her. Her smile faltered a little at the expression on Hermione’s face and Hermione shoved the unwelcome thoughts down and smiled reassuringly at her. Bellatrix raised her eyebrow but her smile lifted again. Hermione decided that she would send her a message to meet in the Room of Requirement one last time tonight. Meeting in her room was too much of a risk on the last night and besides, she knew that they should talk, without the distraction of a bed in close proximity. 

“I can’t believe they beat us by one point,” Ginny muttered close to her, bringing her attention back to the table. 

“Well, let’s be honest, I think they’ve been working hard to prove that just because they’re in Slytherin, it doesn’t mean they’re bad.”

“I know, but still,” Ginny shrugged. “Have to be a bit disgruntled, don’t I?”

“House pride,” Hermione grinned. “I get it.”

“Well, until we all start having kids, I’m the last Weasley in Hogwarts.”

“That… that’s right. Wow. I hadn’t thought about that. End of an era.”

“I know. Kind of hit me this morning. The next Weasley to come to Hogwarts will be my niece or nephew.”

“Or your kids,” Hermione winked.

“Ummmm…” Ginny blushed. “Well, maybe. I’ll try and have a life first.”

“No rush,” Hermione laughed. “You don’t ever have to have them, if you don’t want.”

“I didn’t say that,” Ginny winked, laughing. 

“True,” Hermione chuckled. 

“I think you’d be a wonderful mother, Ginny,” Luna said from across the table. 

“Yeah, you really would,” Neville added. 

“Alright,” Ginny laughed. “Let’s not get stuck on that idea.”

Laughing, the friends helped themselves to dessert and spent the rest of the meal reminiscing about their favourite memories of Hogwarts. The ghosts sailed overhead, the candles lit the Hall with a warm glow and the friends were all filled with good food; it was the perfect last night. 

Neville opted to walk Luna back to her common room so Hermione and Ginny wandered back to Gryffindor tower together arm in arm. 

“Do you really think I’d be a good mum?” Ginny asked after a few moments of silence en route. Hermione looked at Ginny and saw the doubt on her face. 

“If that’s what you want,” Hermione answered carefully. “I think you’d be an amazing mum. Why?”

“Don’t know if I could match up to mum, you know?”

“You don’t have to. You can just be yourself. They’ll already have her as a grandma. But they’ll love you because you’re you.”

Ginny’s eyes were a little watery when she turned and wrapped Hermione in a tight hug. 

“I love you.”

“I know. Love you too, Gin.”

Ginny and Hermione stayed in the Common Room for a while, long enough to see Neville sneaking back in a few hours later. 

“Thought you’d gotten lost, Neville. It’s almost curfew,” Hermione teased. Neville blushed. 

“Well, I… uh…”

“Giving Luna some goodbye kisses?” Ginny smirked, wrapping her arms around herself and making kissing faces. 

“Shut up,” Neville laughed. “If you must know, yes. I’m going to go and spend some time with her and her dad this summer.”

“Ooooooh,” they chorused and Neville rolled his eyes. 

“So mature.”

“This is our last night before we have to become adults, properly,” Ginny protested. “We can engage in some childish behaviour.”

“Let’s be honest,” Hermione said as Neville joined them by the fire. “We’re not going to just magically grow up when we leave. We can still laugh and have a good time. And have snowball fights every Christmas.”

“Oooh yes,” Ginny’s eyes lit up. “Let’s.”

They laughed until the fire had died to embers and then slowly parted to their bedrooms. When Hermione closed her door, she took out her wand and sent a message to Bellatrix. The otter swam away and Hermione waited for a few minutes before taking the map and checking that everyone was in bed. She slipped out of her room and down the stairs, heading out of the portrait quickly, ignoring the grumbling from the Fat Lady, who she had apparently woken up. 

It didn’t take long for Hermione to make it to the Room of Requirement and request for their training room. She knew that Bellatrix had requested that it couldn’t be interrupted once they were inside, so it would be safe. Still, as she waited on the green, leather sofa, she couldn’t help but twist her fingers anxiously. One more night of sneaking around. One more night. 

Bellatrix didn’t leave her waiting long. When she arrived, the smile on her face was sly. 

“Granger, what are you doing out of bed?”

Hermione flushed as the older woman stalked towards her and she was reminded of when Bellatrix had last said those words to her, the night that she had first visited her chambers. 

“I wanted to see you,” she replied. Bellatrix’s smirk grew. 

“Oh yes?” Bellatrix paused in front of her and Hermione felt her throat constrict. The woman was even more intoxicating now than she had been before Hermione had known what she sounded like with her fingers inside her; before she knew how she felt when her mouth was on Hermione and coaxing her into an earth-shattering orgasm. “And just how much of me did you want to see?”

Hermione’s entire face coloured as Bellatrix leaned down and cupped her face, tilting her head up to capture her lips in a toe-curling kiss. Hermione lost track of what she was supposed to be doing and melted into the kiss. Her fingers gripped the edge of the sofa and the leather protested under her as she fought to not tackle Bellatrix to the floor. When their lips separated with a tearing sound that sent a shiver through Hermione, she looked up at Bellatrix through hooded eyes and tried to gather her thoughts, which had been scattered like leaves in the wind. 

“Um… I…” Bellatrix chuckled softly at her struggle and lowered herself onto the sofa next to Hermione, leaning in and sweeping her hair back over her shoulder to press a kiss to the pulse point on her neck. “You’re in a… a good mood.”

“I like winning,” Bellatrix murmured against her skin, pressing kisses along her tendon and then flattening her tongue against it to leave a hot, slick trail that made Hermione gasp. “It suits me.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Hermione panted as she dug her fingers into her thighs. “I wanted to… to talk…”

“What about?” Bellatrix’s tongue curled languidly around her ear and her breath made Hermione shiver again. 

“I… I’m having trouble remembering.” A low chuckle in her ear made Hermione moan. “You’re so distracting.”

“I’m aware,” Bellatrix replied before her teeth caught Hermione’s earlobe and pulled it into her mouth. 

“Oh…” Hermione decided that whatever she had been trying to say could wait. Instead, she waited until Bellatrix had released her ear with a loud, wet pop and then turned to bury her fingers in the older witch’s hair and pull her into a searing kiss. 

Moments later, Hermione found herself straddling Bellatrix with her jumper thrown across the room; she was gasping into Bellatrix’s mouth as the older witch ran her nails up her thighs through her tights. Bellatrix caught her bottom lip in her teeth and pulled as she took Hermione’s ass in her hands and pulled her down and into her lap. Hermione moaned as Bellatrix’s mouth moved to her jaw and then her neck and she desperately tried to undo the buttons on her shirt as Bellatrix tried to press lower. 

“Bella, I…” She began, unable to properly undo them while Bellatrix’s chin was pressing into her fumbling fingers. “Oh fuck!”

Bellatrix had gripped her shirt and pulled it apart, sending buttons pinging across the floor. She sucked at the skin as soon as the barrier was removed and Hermione’s hips ground into her desperately. 

“It’s not like… you’re going to… need it again,” Bellatrix chuckled between her kisses. 

“I… Oh god… I still need to… get back… to my room,” Hermione gasped, grinding down onto the other woman, desperate for some friction. She could feel her wetness, could feel it spreading to her tights and the idea that Bellatrix might soon touch her and feel that was driving her mad. 

“You have a jumper,” Bellatrix grinned, moving her hands to push the shirt over Hermione’s shoulders and down her arms. “Somewhere.”

Hermione just grabbed her and pulled her into a searing kiss as a response. She felt Bellatrix undoing her bra and didn’t break the kiss as she fumbled to release her arms. She let it drop somewhere to the side of them and then Bellatrix broke the kiss to claim her nipple. Hermione’s back arched and she was glad when Bellatrix’s arms circled her and her hands returned to squeeze her ass, preventing her from toppling backwards. 

It felt amazing to have Bellatrix lavishing her breasts with so much attention, but Hermione couldn’t help grinding, hoping for some release. Eventually, she slid her fingers into Bellatrix’s hair, scratching her scalp and pulled her hair to bring her head away from her nipple. 

“Bella. Stop making me wait.”

“Say please,” Bellatrix teased, raising her eyebrow and biting her lip. 

“Please. I need you…” Hermione blushed, still a little shy. Bellatrix smiled, tenderly and reached up to press a kiss to her lips and then… 

Hermione’s tights were gone. She blinked, feeling cool air against her skin suddenly and then… Bellatrix’s nails were trailing up her thighs and Hermione realised that her tights weren’t the only thing to have been magicked away. She gasped and Bellatrix kissed her again, before she twisted, laying Hermione with her bare back against the cool leather. Hermione shivered as Bellatrix’s dark eyes drank her in while she pulled her skirt down and dropped it to the floor, leaving her naked and exposed. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Bellatrix murmured as leaned over her, her hand trailing up the inside of her thigh, parting her legs. Hermione flushed as Bellatrix’s eyes trailed down her torso, over her stomach to the patch of curls that her fingers were currently toying with. Hermione watched with anticipation as Bellatrix maneuvered herself until she was lying between her legs and then her mouth was on Hermione, dragging a guttural moan from the younger witch. She buried her fingers in Bellatrix’s hair and forgot about everything but the feeling of Bellatrix’s tongue and the magic that it performed so effortlessly. 

One leg fell from the sofa, exposing her even further and Hermione’s hips ground into Bellatrix’s face as much as they could. She lost her rhythm quickly, unable to keep control as Bellatrix licked up and around her clit, sucking it with the faintest grazing of teeth that sent Hermione wild. She bucked up, crying out, so close, if only… if only…

Bellatrix sucked again and Hermione’s nerves shattered into a thousand pieces, leaving her in rolling waves of pleasure that left her shaking and spent, if only for the moment. Bellatrix continued to languidly lick the spoils of her work and then raised herself up with a smug and satisfied smirk, looking down at Hermione, who felt distinctly boneless. 

“Now that,” Bellatrix grinned, running her thumb over her mouth to clear it of juices that her tongue had missed, “is what I call a victory celebration.”

If Hermione had any energy left, she might have rolled her eyes, but instead a breathy chuckle escaped her lips and then a moan as her stomach muscles clenched again. Bellatrix lowered herself against Hermione, covering her with her dress in the process, as if aware that the room was cool against her hot skin. 

“I don’t mind you winning,” Hermione murmured after a few moments of feather light kisses against her jaw and lips. “If it means I get to celebrate with you like this.”

“Shocking,” Bellatrix grinned, her eyes bright and naughty. “What would your fellow Gryffindors say?”

“What are they going to do? Kick me out?” Hermione stretched her arms until her back gave a satisfying pop, then looped them over Bellatrix’s shoulders. “There’s no more school.”

“I know.” Bellatrix grinned, pressing a kiss to her lips again, one that lingered. “We’re free.”

“Almost,” Hermione murmured. The memory of what she had come to the Room of Requirement for flickered back to life and she bit her lip. “That… that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about?”

“It is?” Bellatrix stared down at her and a flicker of doubt crossed her eyes. 

“Yes, but it’s nothing bad, don’t worry,” Hermione rushed to say. “I just… What do we do tomorrow? Or the day after that?”

“What do you mean?” Bellatrix murmured, searching Hermione’s face for clarity. 

“I mean, when do people find out, officially? Do I get on the train and go home tomorrow and wait for you to finish here?”

Relief and amusement flooded Bellatrix’s face. 

“Well, I would expect that you would get on the train as normal; I don’t want to deprive you of your last time returning home with your friends. Then… well, that’s up to you, isn’t it?”

“It’s up to us,” Hermione murmured, tracing Bellatrix’s face with her fingers, gently. Bellatrix smiled and leaned into the touch. 

“I suppose it is.”

***

The next morning, Hermione woke with a smile on her face. Between kisses, the trailing of fingers and tongues and Hermione spending some time of her own between Bellatrix’s thighs, they had come up with a plan. After breakfast, Hermione would join all the other students heading to the train for the last time and she would say goodbye to Hogwarts as a student. She had never imagined that she would be so happy to see her time in school over, but the promise of what was to come was more exciting and enticing to her now. 

Checking her luggage one more time, and putting away the last few things she needed in her enchanted bag, Hermione headed down stairs to meet Ginny and Neville in the Common Room. 

“Hey,” Ginny greeted her, teary eyed, pulling her into a hug. 

“Morning,” Hermione smiled, rubbing her back. “Is this what it’s going to be like until we leave Platform 9 and ¾ later?”

“Probably,” she sniffed. Hermione couldn’t help but pull Neville into their hug too; he seemed a little emotional as well. 

“Come on, let’s go and have an amazing breakfast and then we can spend the whole train ride hugging, if you like,” Hermione grinned. 

“Ok,” they muttered and pulled apart. 

Hermione led the way downstairs and to the Great Hall, where the students were louder than usual. All the teachers were, for once, present too and Hermione was delighted to see that that included Bellatrix too. The older woman was drinking what Hermione guessed was tea or coffee and half-heartedly picking at food. Hermione snorted, shook her head and sat down with her friends. She grabbed orange juice and two croissants before putting a large spoonful of jam onto her plate. She was hungry and she knew exactly who was to blame for that; not that she minded. She smirked to herself a little when she remembered the previous evening and had to shove a bite of croissant in her mouth quickly when a particular image floated to mind; Bellatrix looking up at her from between her legs and licking her lips. 

“Hermione, you’re smirking,” Ginny said dryly, prodding her. 

“Maybe,” Hermione grinned. 

Ginny rolled her eyes and threw a bit of croissant at her. 

“Hopeless.”

“Am not,” Hermione laughed, throwing a piece back. It glanced off of Ginny’s nose and into her lap and their group exploded into laughter at the indignant look on Ginny’s face as she brushed crumbs from her jumper. 

“You are aware that Harry is meeting me off the train right? I’d like to look a little presentable,” she narrowed her eyes playfully. 

“Oh please, like you’re going to look at each other much before you start making out.”

“Hermione! My parents will be there.”

“Like that’s stopped you before.”

Ginny stared at her in mock outrage, prompting the group to laugh even harder.   
“I will have you know that you’re not the only one who can be discreet,” she responded, sticking her tongue out with a grin. Hermione chuckled and rolled her eyes, turning back to her croissant and taking another bite. When the conversation had moved on, she chanced a glance up to Bellatrix. 

Only a few more hours. 

When breakfast was finished, the carriages took them down to the Hogwarts Express and Hermione spent her time making sure everyone got onto the train alright. Hagrid appeared, hugging them all so tightly that they thought he’d break them and crying tears that visibly splashed on the top of their heads. Hermione reminded him that she would write and come and visit him in Hogsmeade when she could and then it was time to get on the train. She stood by the window, waving at Hagrid until he was out of sight and then her gaze fell on the castle. 

She had grown up there; made life-long friends, almost died a few times and fallen in love. The castle would have a special part in her heart for forever and she momentarily entertained adding teacher to her list of future careers. Perhaps one day. 

She joined her friends in their carriage as the castle slipped from sight and the mountains and trees sped past. They spoke almost constantly, splashing out on a last bundle of treats from the trolley when it came round and comparing chocolate frog cards, looking for the new collection that had come out. There were rumours that they contained Harry, and Ginny joked that if she got it she could trade if he got too irritating in the future. 

When the train finally pulled into the station, silence fell. They looked around at each other, small, sad smiles on their faces. 

“So that’s it,” Ginny said finally. “No more Hogwarts.”

“No more school,” Hermione said, reaching out to squeeze Ginny’s hand and then Luna’s. Neville took their hands too and they sat like that for a moment. 

“I just have to say,” Neville spoke, his voice wobbly. “That you three are my family. I didn’t have a lot of that before I came to Hogwarts. Now…”

He trailed off and Hermione felt tears prick in her eyes. Luna leaned across and kissed his cheek. Ginny rubbed at her eyes, already crying. 

“We’re all family. No matter what,” Hermione said, standing and bringing the others with her. “We’ll always be there for each other.”

“Always,” Luna murmured. 

They hugged until the corridor cleared a little and then they collected their luggage and headed out onto the platform. Hermione spotted Mrs Weasley first; she was standing with Hermione’s parents and waving at them enthusiastically. Harry was there too, along with Ron. Hermione and Ginny gave Neville and Luna one last goodbye and then headed towards their families. 

“Mum, dad,” Hermione dropped her luggage and gave them a big hug. “I missed you.”

“We missed you too,” Hermione’s mum mumbled into her hair, holding her daughter tight. They stayed like that for a minute or two, before they released Hermione and she turned to greet Harry, Ron and Mrs Weasley. 

“Come here, Hermione dear,” Mrs Weasley said, pulling her into a hug. “You look well.”

“Thank you, so do you. I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too dear,” she said, releasing her. Harry was next and Hermione reached out an arm and pulled Ron in. They might still be working on their friendship but, if she were honest with herself, she had missed him too. 

When she released them, Harry grinned at her. Ron smiled sheepishly, but gave her some space. 

“Well, that’s it then, Hermione. Out into the real world; the Ministry had better beware.” 

“Actually,” Hermione said, looking around at them. “I’m not accepting any of the job offers I’ve had from the Ministry just yet.”

The surprise on their faces was evident, but Ginny was grinning smugly, already having heard Hermione’s plan. 

“You’re not?” Ron asked, more surprised than most. She had spent a lot of time in the first part of their relationship telling him about her career plans. 

“No. The Daily Prophet sent me an offer and at first I ignored it, but then… I told them that I would take a one year job with them if they allowed me to write a column idea I had.”

“What idea?” Hermione’s mum asked, her brow furrowed. 

“The Wandering Witch. It’ll be a travel column where each country I’ll explore one wizarding, one muggle and one magical creature community and talk about what unites us. It will set good groundwork for what I intend to do when I get into the Ministry and they all seemed quite happy to extend the offers to whenever I return.”

“That’s bloody brilliant,” Ron said. 

“He’s right,” Harry grinned. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Hermione mum said, placing her hand on her cheek and stroking her thumb across it. 

When they left the platform, Hermione’s arms linked between her mum and Ginny, she felt nothing but happiness. 

Three more hours...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three more chapters...


	48. Hogwarts vs. Hogsmeade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit to Hermione's house, a game of Quidditch and a farewell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been really busy with life stuff like interviews, but I have also written over 6000 words for this chapter so... worth the wait?

By the time Bellatrix apparated onto her front doorstep and knocked, Hermione had unpacked everything she needed to and was sitting having sandwiches with her parents around the kitchen table. She had spent the last half an hour filling them in on her plans and, more importantly, Bellatrix. She kept some of the details vague and others completely out; there was no way she was telling her parents that her and Bellatrix had so much as kissed, let alone… well. Memories of the previous night swam through her head again as she went to answer the door, leaving a faint blush on her cheeks which made Bellatrix smirk as she came into view. 

“Hello little Lynx.”

Hermione wasted no time in stepping forward, taking Bellatrix’s face in her hands and kissing her soundlessly. After a moment of surprised hesitation, Bellatrix wrapped her arms around Hermione’s waist and kissed her back. When their lips parted slowly, with great hesitation, Hermione smiled. 

“I get to do that whenever I want now.”

Bellatrix’s lips curled into a smirk but her cheeks coloured too, making Hermione grin so hard her cheeks hurt. 

“Well… if you like.”

“I do like,” Hermione smiled and kissed her again. The clearing of a throat broke them apart and they both looked back into the house to find Hermione’s father attempting to hide a smile. 

“Why don’t you bring your guest inside, Hermione?”

“Okay dad,” Hermione smiled and then looked back at Bellatrix, her cheeks coloured a rosy pink. “You ready?”

“Should I be nervous?” Bellatrix teased, although her eyes shifted to look over Hermione’s shoulder hesitantly. 

“No. I’m pretty sure that the person who reminded them that they had a daughter on Christmas gets an automatic seal of approval.”

“So I need approval?” Bellatrix took a deep breath. 

“Not what I meant,” Hermione encouraged, taking her hand. “Trust me, they’re not looking for anything from you, except maybe to make sure you make me happy. Which you do.”

“I…” Bellatrix’s hand trembled in Hermione’s. “It’s times like this that I wish I could have a firewhiskey.”

“Do you really?” Hermione asked, running her thumb over the back of Bellatrix’s hand. 

“Yes. A little. But not as much as I used to.”

“How about if I promise that when you make it through this, I’ll make you forget it?” Bellatrix raised her eyebrows. 

“Surely a spell would mean I would have to endure it again the next time we met as though it were the first time?”

Hermione rolled her eyes and levelled a look at Bellatrix. 

“Again, not what I meant.”

Bellatrix’s cheeks flushed. 

“Oh. Yes.”

“You know, looking at you now, people might call you adorable.”

Bellatrix scowled playfully and backed Hermione inside the house, pressing her against the wall as she shut the door. Hermione’s eyes slipped to the other woman’s lips as they curled. 

“What was that?”

“I don’t know… I forgot what I said.”

Bellatrix’s lips split into a grin and she leaned in and placed a light kiss to Hermione’s lips, nibbling the bottom one teasingly until Hermione let out a little gasp of air and gripped her hips. 

“Come on then, let’s not keep them waiting,” Bellatrix released her with an evil smirk that had Hermione struggling to breathe. 

“Not. Fair.”

“I never said I play fair,” Bellatrix chuckled and then took Hermione’s hand, lacing their fingers. “Lead the way, little Lynx.”

The sight of Bellatrix, sitting across from her parents at their small kitchen table, filled Hermione with a soft kind of joy that kept a smile on her face the entire time. Both of them greeted her kindly, thanking her for bringing their daughter back into their lives; for keeping her safe where they couldn’t. Bellatrix struggled with the outpouring of love; Hermione could feel her shrinking from it, unused to the display. The only thing that kept her from running was Hermione’s hand on hers; her thumb stroking the back of her hand comfortingly. 

Hermione’s mother seemed to sense how uncomfortable Bellatrix was, like her daughter could, despite Bellatrix’s mask being firmly in place. She gave her a small smile and put her hand on her husband’s arm, stopping him from thanking the woman for the sixth time. 

“Dear, perhaps we should allow Hermione to show Bellatrix her room; let them talk. I get the feeling that we will have plenty of time to get to know Bellatrix in the future.”

Hermione gave her mum a grateful smile and nodded. 

“Thanks mum, dad. Bella, shall I give you the tour?”

“Yes,” Bellatrix stood, relieved and bowed her head to the Grangers. “Thank you for your hospitality.”

“You’re very welcome, Bellatrix.”

Hermione led Bellatrix into the hallway and watched the other woman relax a fraction. 

“Are you okay?”

“Of course.” Bellatrix hesitated, glancing back into the kitchen. “Just…”

She trailed off and Hermione took the hint. 

“Come on, let me show you around and then we can talk in my room.”

She gave Bellatrix a quick tour of the downstairs and then led her upstairs; their hands remained linked the entire time. 

“And this is… mine.” Hermione hesitated and then pushed the door open. Bellatrix peered in and a soft smile played around her lips. “I know it’s a little… I mean I’ve not been here much since before Hogwarts, so some things haven’t-”

“It’s perfect. It feels like you,” she turned to look at Hermione and squeezed her hand. “May I?”

“Yes.”

Bellatrix untangled their hands and crossed the threshold, looking around. She stopped in the centre of the room and turned slowly, studying the photographs on the walls and the bookcases that were overflowing, her lips twitching. Hermione hovered by the door, still nervous. 

“Always the bookworm,” Bellatrix murmured, almost to herself and then wandered over to the shelves, tracing the titles with her finger. “I haven’t heard of many of these.”

“You can borrow any you’d like. I can pack them for when we go…” Hermione took a breath and stepped into the room, joining Bellatrix. She scanned her shelf and picked out one of the most loved on the shelf. “This was one of my favourites when I was younger.”

Bellatrix took the offered book and studied it. 

“A Little Princess?” Her lips quirked and she raised an eyebrow at Hermione. “Should I be concerned?”

“No,” Hermione rolled her eyes. “It’s a story about a girl who… well, I’ll let you read it, if you would like. I used to love stories about strong girls and women.”

“Well, they are likely part of the reason that you are one, yourself.” Bellatrix murmured, her fingers brushing against Hermione’s cheek as she stroked an escaped tendril of hair behind Hermione’s ear. “I would love to read anything you love.”

Hermione, keeping eye contact with Bellatrix, leaned her head slightly to the side and kissed the palm of her hand. Bellatrix’s lips twitched fondly and she stroked her cheek with her thumb again. 

“It is a good job we are witches,” Hermione murmured. “Because I am not sure I could choose if I had to pack light.”

Bellatrix studied her for a moment and then slid the book back onto the shelf carefully. 

“Hermione, I would very much like to kiss you right now.”

“Nothing’s stopping you anymore,” Hermione reminded her. 

Bellatrix’s hand slid into her hair and cradled her face, as though it were made to fit in the curve of her features, and she pulled her into a kiss that made Hermione’s knees tremble. Barefoot as Hermione was, Bellatrix was taller than her in her heels and Hermione soon slid her arms over Bellatrix’s shoulders to anchor herself. Hermione pressed into Bellatrix who chuckled into the kiss and parted their lips. 

“I am quite sure that it would not make a good impression on your parents if we abandoned them completely in favour of breaking your childhood bed.”

Hermione’s cheeks reddened. 

“I…”

Bellatrix chuckled and captured her lips again, tenderly. 

“You are quite beautiful when you blush.”

“So you’re just going to say things like that after basically saying we should behave?”

“Yes,” Bellatrix smirked. “Or are you telling me that you’ve grown tired of my teasing you?”

“No,” Hermione admitted. “I don’t think I ever could.”

“Well, that is good news.”

“You know they like you, right? You don’t have to worry.”

Bellatrix’s smile dropped a little. 

“It’s complicated, Hermione.”

“Tell me,” Hermione took her hand. Bellatrix sighed, glancing around the room, her feet shifting.

“I’m a little out of my depth, Hermione.” She hesitated and then led Hermione gently over to the bed, sitting down, their hands never separating. “You met my delightful parents, at my house. In some form, anyway.”

Hermione remembered the screeching portraits, cursing their daughter, screaming at her for betraying them, for bring her into the house… 

“Yes.”

“It is just… I’ve never had to ‘meet the parents’. I knew they wouldn’t be like my parents; how could they be, when you are… you?” She stroked her thumb over the back of Hermione’s hand as she contemplated how to continue. “But it does bring into perspective how… limited, my childhood was, in terms of… affection. I wonder, if I had had more, would I be better? I… It’s stupid, I’m aware.”

“It’s not stupid at all.” Hermione tucked her legs up onto the bed. “I may not know how it felt for you to grow up like you did, but I know what it’s like to wonder, sometimes endlessly, how different things would have been if something didn’t happen the way it did. If the last few years have taught me anything, it’s that no matter how much you do it, it won’t change anything.”

“I know.” Bellatrix’s hand tightened momentarily and then she let out a breath. “It is just… some things are so deeply ingrained, Hermione. I’m not perfect. I hate opening up; I was always taught that emotions made you weak. The only thing I hate more about opening up than doing it, is… how disappointed you’d be if I didn’t.”

“I wouldn’t be disappointed.”

“Yes,” Bellatrix murmured, glancing at her calmly. “You would.”

Hermione mulled it over for a moment, fighting the irritation she felt in favour of logic. Bellatrix was being vulnerable; she shouldn’t jump on the defence straight away. 

“I might be, yes. But I don’t want you to feel forced to be open with me. I want you to do it because you want to, not because you’re worried what might happen if you don’t. I’m not… that person. I don’t need, or want, you to be someone you’re not. I like you for you. I love you,” she squeezed Bellatrix’s hand. “I don’t need you to pretend with me. You’ve had too many people tell you to be someone you’re not.”

Bellatrix’s eyes were wet; she glanced away, hiding, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve before looking back at Hermione. She rolled her eyes and chuckled half-heartedly. 

“I hate crying.”

Another tear escaped her eyes, tumbling down her cheek. Hermione leaned forward, brushing it away with the pad of her thumb and slowly pressed a kiss to Bellatrix’s lips. 

“So do I. But I won’t ever judge you for doing it.”

Bellatrix kissed her, shifting closer. Their kisses were slow, loving and intense, but they didn’t escalate. Hermione sighed into the other woman, feeling her filling her senses. She loved the way Bellatrix’s lips felt, the way they moulded together without difficulty; the way Bellatrix smelled of pine and woodfire smoke, cinnamon and parchment.

“I should…” Bellatrix murmured against her lips regretfully. 

“Go?” Hermione asked, brushing her lips again. 

“Yes. But tomorrow…”

“Yes…”

They kissed again and soon, another fifteen minutes had flown by.

“I really have to go,” Bellatrix murmured, dropping one last kiss to Hermione’s lips before moving away, her voice trembling slightly. “Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” Hermione agreed. 

***

Hermione apparated to Hogsmeade, clutching her bag tightly. She felt different, returning to Hogwarts when she was no longer a student, despite the fact that it had only been one day. The sun was shining and she took a moment to breathe in the fresh air before beginning to walk through the village towards the castle. 

“Hermione, what are you doing here?” Madam Rosmerta called from the front of The Three Broomsticks. “I thought you’d all gone home.”

“We did,” Hermione smiled. “I’m here to watch the match.”

“Oh you are?” Rosmerta frowned. “I didn’t think the students knew about it.”

“I have a way of getting inside information,” Hermione grinned. 

“Well, we’re just glad it’s back on. There hasn’t been a match in so long, what with…” She trailed off and the distant look that often filled people’s eyes when they remembered the war took over. Hermione chilled a little, even in the sun, and pushed down at the memories threatening to appear. 

“I’m sure you’ll do great.”

“Yes…” Madam Rosmerta refocused on her. “Oh. Yes. Well we want to beat them.”

“Good luck. I’m afraid I’m team staff though.”

“Ah, the enemy. After all those butterbeers!” She was joking, but Hermione could see that Rosmerta was also very competitive. She laughed. 

“See you later.”

With a friendly wave, Hermione continued on her way towards the grounds. When she reached the gate, she paused for a moment and looked up at the castle, feeling her heart warm. No matter what, she would always love this place. 

“Hello, little Lynx.”

Hermione smiled, looking to her left through the bars. Bellatrix appeared from out of the tree line, waving her wand to unlock the gates. 

“Hello.” Hermione pushed the gates open and stepped onto the grounds, never taking her eyes away from Bellatrix. Instead of her usual black dresses and robes, Bellatrix was wearing black trousers tucked into boots and a purple team shirt. Hermione raised her eyebrow. “Purple?”

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. 

“What a greeting.” Hermione rolled her eyes in response and wrapped her hand in the shirt material, pulling Bellatrix into a kiss. When they parted, both smirking, Hermione eyed the shirt again and Bellatrix relented. “It’s a colour that doesn’t represent any of the houses. We could agree which house colour should be represented so we went for a neutral colour. It’s been this way for years.”

“I like it. It suits you.” Bellatrix smirked. “What? It does!” 

“Oh I know,” she teased. “Come on, let’s get you up to the stands and find you a good seat before the village claims them all.”

“So, are you going to tell me which position you play?”

“Wait and see,” Bellatrix glanced at her over her shoulder and grinned. 

“Tease.”

“If you think I’m a tease now…” Bellatrix let the sentence trail off without finishing, but Hermione still shivered. She knew what that tone meant. She bit her lip and tried to not grin hard. 

“Professor Black, are you openly flirting with me on school grounds?”

“I may be,” Bellatrix replied. “But fortunately for me, you aren’t my student anymore.”

“Well then,” Hermione smiled, linking their hands. “That’s very fortunate indeed.”

When they got to the stands, hand in hand, Hermione pulled Bellatrix to a stop. 

“What’s the matter?” Bellatrix asked, staring at her nervous face. 

“Do they know? The other teachers?”

“You already know McGonagall does. And Abigail...Pemble… the others? Not as far as I am aware although I get the impression that my change in behaviour may have been a topic of discussion with numerous theories as to cause.”

“I just… I want to know what you’re comfortable with. If you want me to keep the PDA to a minimum…”

“PDA?” Bellatrix smiled, questioningly. 

“Public displays of affection.”

“Well darling,” Bellatrix murmured, stepping close. “I’ll be expecting a victory kiss when I win.”

“Noted,” Hermione smiled.”

“But…” Bellatrix hesitated. “Perhaps in private. A day after is a little too on the nose…”

“Anything is fine with me,” Hermione said, reassuringly. “I completely understand.”

“So sweet. What did I do to deserve…” Bellatrix trailed off. “I should get ready and you should find your seat.”

“Ok. Good luck.”

“Like I’ll need it,” Bellatrix winked and then she was striding off towards the changing rooms. Hermione watched her leave and then headed into the stands to find a seat. 

At the top of the steps, Hermione looked around and found Professor McGonagall in the stands already. The older woman was resting her hands on the top of her cane and watching Hermione with a small smile on her shrewd lips. She inclined her head to the space next to her and Hermione made her way there, grateful that no one else had arrived yet. 

“Miss Granger, how lovely to see you again so soon.”

“Professor,” Hermione smiled. “Nice to see you too.”

“I believe that you can now call me Minerva, if you would like.”

“Um… I’ll do my best. Might take a little getting used to.”

“I have no doubt,” McGonagall’s eyes twinkled with amusement. “Though it didn’t take you too long to make the shift from Professor Black to Bella, now did it?”

Hermione could feel herself flushing, but she laughed easily now; after all, there was no need to hide anymore, particularly not from McGonagall. 

“I think that’s a bit of a different situation. I have a feeling it would have been more inappropriate if I’d still felt normal calling her Professor when we were alone.”

“Indeed.” McGonagall’s lips twitched. “Fortunately, that is no longer an issue and Bellatrix is taking a year out of teaching. I have had to find a replacement.”

“Sorry about that,” Hermione smiled. 

“No you’re not,” McGonagall replied. “But then, I’m glad. She deserves a break. You both do.”

Just then they were interrupted by Hagrid and Slughorn appearing up the stairs; the latter looked out of breath and quickly sank onto a bench near them. 

“Hello Hermione,” Hagrid grinned in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“She had an invitation,” McGonagall said. 

“How nice to see you again, Miss Granger,” Slughorn said when he had recovered enough breath. 

“Thank you, it’s nice to see you both too,” Hermione smiled, giving Hagrid a wink. He grinned even wider and sat behind them so that he wouldn’t block their view.

“Should be a good match,” he chatted over their heads. 

“Yes,” Professor McGonagall said. “I have a feeling Bellatrix will be particularly motivated.”

Hermione was used to the comments from Ginny, but she didn’t think she’d ever get used to McGonagall calling her or Bellatrix out. It was such a novel thing, although McGonagall had always had a sense of humour hidden beneath disapproval, and she wasn’t sure how to respond. Bellatrix would no doubt have a snappy comeback, but Hermione wasn’t quite there yet. 

“What position does she play?” She asked instead. “She wouldn’t tell me.”

“In school she was a beater,” Professor McGonagall said. “But as a staff team we tend to be flexible depending on everyone’s skills.”

“So she’s not a beater today?”

McGonagall’s eyebrow twitched and she shook her head, her lips pursed in amusement. 

Hermione was about to continue questioning her former professor, but the sounds of villagers arriving for the match drew their attention and soon she was surrounded by people greeting McGonagall and declaring that their team would be the winner this year. 

“I have ten galleons that say otherwise!” Slughorn called and Hermione watched in amazement as bets began to take place. 

“Ten galleons on Hogwarts to win,” McGonagall said, shaking a purse. Hermione’s eyes bugged and she laughed. 

“Wow, I am not in Hogwarts anymore.”

“Paraphrasing the Wizard of Oz,” McGonagall smiled. “I assume Bellatrix has told you that she has discovered a love of Muggle literature?”

“We spoke about it at Christmas,” Hermione admitted. “I uh… I lent her ‘Jane Eyre’.”

“I rather thought you had.” At Hermione’s puzzled look, McGonagall smiled again. “It was the topic of conversation at one of our after dinner conversations. She was vague about how she had come across the book and given that I knew where she had spent her Christmas and with whom…”

“You connected the dots.”

“Indeed. It would seem that with the two of you, that was all one needed to do.”

“You know, not everyone figured it out.”

“I’m sure that more people than you think did, Miss Granger. I am rather of the opinion that there are more people than you imagine that support your relationship. Or have, at least, noticed the possibility of its existence.”

Hermione mulled the thought over and became so lost in her train of thought that only the announcement that the match was to start soon brought her back to the current moment. She watched as the two teams soared into the stadium and tried to restrain grinning like an idiot at the sight of Flitwick on a broom. Bellatrix looked incredible; her hair was pinned up into a large bun away from her face and she seemed free, soaring across the pitch with her team. 

Hermione grabbed her omnioculars out of her bag and put them up to her eyes to work out who was on the team. She could see Pemble and Sprout carrying beater bats; Sprout looked almost intimidating as she waved it in the air when they passed the stands. As the teams met in the centre, waiting for Aberforth who was carrying the crate with the balls in, Hermione scanned them all. Hooch was there, of course, but also Sinistra and Pomfrey, which surprised Hermione. As she swept over the team, she hovered on Bellatrix’s face just as the woman looked up into the stands. Hermione grinned and waved, watching Bellatrix’s lips twitch through the glasses.

On the other team, Hermione recognised Rosmerta and a few of the other business owners, including the owner of the bookstore where Bellatrix had asked her what a Grinch was. She smiled, shaking her head. How far they’d come. 

The match began and Hermione watched as Bellatrix caught the Quaffle, speeding off towards the goals with Hooch beside her. They passed the ball whenever a villager closed in on them with surprising speed and accuracy and soon Bellatrix was throwing the red ball through one of the hoops; the Keeper missed it narrowly. Hermione cheered along with McGonagall and returned to her seat as play resumed. She quickly realised why Sprout and Pemble were beaters. Only minutes into the match and the pair were sending bludgers at other players every chance they got. Pomfrey was the Hogwarts Keeper and Sinistra the other chaser, which left Flitwick hovering above the game, watching for the snitch. 

The match was good, although it was obvious that none of the players were professional or well trained. It was more fun than the official house games and Hermione cheered every time one of her teachers scored. Pemble sent a bludger tearing towards Rosmerta, who had secured the quaffle, and only missed because Rosmerta dropped the quaffle and had to dive after it. Hermione winced as Bellatrix collided with her and stole the quaffle, speeding back in the other direction. When Bellatrix managed to score another goal, Hermione stood and cheered for her and Bellatrix swept over the stands, grinning at her. Hermione’s heart soared, almost as though she were on the broom with her. Well, not really, Hermione thought as she sat down; I hate flying. 

The roar from the villagers around them made Hermione and McGonagall sit up straighter, peering to watch as the Hogsmeade seeker sped off towards the other end of the pitch. Flitwick gave chase, but after a moment or two the pair slowed up, looking around, having lost the snitch. There was a groan and everyone returned to their seat. Hermione chuckled. 

“Enjoying yourself?” McGonagall asked. 

“I won’t lie,” Hermione grinned. “There is something absolutely brilliant about watching Flitwick speeding on a broom.”

McGonagall’s laughter echoed across the stands. 

Half an hour later and the Hogwarts teachers were up by thirty points. Bellatrix went speeding by the stands and Hermione’s heart felt as light as air at the pure joy in the woman’s face. She was still watching Bellatrix when a bludger went hurtling over her head, almost taking out Hagrid in the process. 

“Blimey!” Hagrid cried, watching as the Bludger circled and flew towards the people on brooms. “Watch it!”

“That was close,” Hermione muttered, glancing at the bludger before looking at Hagrid. “Are you alright, Hagrid?”

“Me? Fine, Hermione. Sometimes them bludgers are more feisty than Norbert was when he was a baby.”

Snorting, remembering Norbert setting Hagrid’s beard on fire, Hermione turned back to the game, just in time to see one of the villagers send a bludger speeding towards Bellatrix. Her heart jumped into her mouth and she jumped from her seat. Bellatrix turned in the air, saw the bludger and…

The crack echoed around the stadium and Hermione’s hand flew to her mouth. Pemble lowered her bat, twisting on her broom to nod at Bellatrix before flying back into the fray. Bellatrix paused only for one surprised moment before turning to chase after the quaffle; currently in the hands of the villagers. 

“Are you quite alright, Miss Granger? You’ve gone rather pale.” Slughorn looked concerned from the other side of McGonagall. 

“I’m fine, thank you Professor,” Hermione said, lowering herself to her seat again, heart still thumping out of her chest. 

McGonagall’s hand rested momentarily on hers, giving it a small pat, before she returned her hand to her stick. Hermione glanced at her and saw a shrewd but approving smile on her face. 

“I must say, Bellatrix is playing particularly well today.”

“Yes, she is,” Slughorn replied while Hermione tried to hide her smile. McGonagall was teasing again; it was quite clear that Slughorn knew nothing about their situation. Hermione watched Bellatrix retrieve the quaffle as the conversation beside her continued. “Then again, she always was a talented flyer. Could have gone professional.”

“Fortunately for all of us, her calling was elsewhere.”

“Well… yes indeed.”

“I doubt the Wizarding World will ever know just how much Bellatrix did for them.” McGonagall’s tone darkened. “I doubt they’ll ever truly understand her.”

“Maybe one day,” Hermione murmured. 

“Yes, Miss Granger. Maybe one day.”

Bellatrix looped over the villagers on her broom, speeding towards the goal posts with the quaffle under her arm. Madam Hooch flew alongside her; Rosmerta was closing in fast. Bellatrix started to dive and swerve, spinning under Hooch and then up into the sky. Rosmerta shot after her only to realise, too late, that Bellatrix’s arms were empty. Hooch scored and soared up to Bellatrix who returned the eagle-eyed woman’s smirk before they sped off together. Hermione cheered loudly as another ten points were added to the tally. 

Something shot past the front of the stand and it took the crowd a moment to react, before they all leaned over and cheered loudly. Flitwick was clinging onto his broom, pelting after the tiny golden snitch. The Hogsmeade seeker was hot on his heels, but Flitwick was in front and gaining. Hermione watched through her omnioculars; could see the concentration on the Charms teacher’s face as he stretched out his hand. 

“Come on Flitwick!”

The seekers were grappling for the snitch; Flitwick practically hanging off the end of his broom in an effort to get it first. Hermione watched their hands stretching, reaching and then…

“HE DID IT!”

Flitwick’s hand raised victoriously, clutching the tiny snitch in his hand. Hermione leapt to her feet with Slughorn; McGonagall stood slowly and cheered along with them. The villagers around them grumbled as they began looking for coins to pay Slughorn, and Hermione was still clapping her hands as the Hogwarts team did a celebratory lap. Aberforth’s voice rang out, announcing the win and the team paused in front of the stands. Hermione cheered along with the others for them again and gave the biggest grin to Bellatrix. 

The older woman’s face was the brightest Hermione had ever seen it; whether from the fresh air, the victory or the joy she felt when playing, Hermione didn’t know. She just knew that Bellatrix was happy and that maybe she’d have to learn to like brooms, if it meant seeing her up close like that. 

The rest of the team flew off to shake hands with the Hogsmeade team but Bellatrix remained hovering in the air, grinning at Hermione. She guided her broom closer to the stands and Hermione saw her wink. 

“What did you think?” Bellatrix called. 

“You were amazing!” Hermione yelled back. “It was brilliant.”

“You see why we don’t tell the students?”

“Oh, definitely!” Hermione laughed. Bellatrix grinned at her and then sped off to join her team. Hermione couldn’t stop grinning, even when Slughorn raised an eyebrow at her while he was collecting money. She tried to look as innocent as possible, even with McGonagall’s knowing smirk. 

“I believe we should go and congratulate our team in person,” McGonagall said and directed Hermione to the end of the row. The younger witch managed to hold herself back slightly, walking with McGonagall instead of rushing down the stairs. She had to remind herself that term had finished two days ago, she had left Hogwarts one day ago, and she should probably not throw herself on Bellatrix just yet. 

At the bottom of the stairs, she turned to head towards the changing room tent when McGonagall’s hand on her shoulder halted her. 

“Miss Granger, before you go in there…” Hermione turned to look at her expectantly. “I want you to know that I fully support the two of you. Bellatrix informed me of your plans to travel, your work with the Daily Prophet… but please remember that Bellatrix has had many years of trauma to deal with and only a few months with new purpose, with hope… with you. I believe that the world has changed quickly, but perhaps not enough. I would urge you to be careful and protect her the best you can. She may not be able to see beyond the happiness she is so unused to right now, but I worry what happens if something threatens that happiness. I worry what would happen if you were in danger again.”

“You’re saying that although she’s changed, she still has a lot to deal with from her past and that I shouldn’t expect everything to be sunshine and rainbows?”

“That is… not quite how I would phrase it. But the sentiment is, indeed, correct.”

“I don’t expect that, Professor,” Hermione murmured. “I know a little of her history. I have a feeling that she will find it difficult to tell me some, if not all, of the things that she might feel she has to. But she knows, and I will keep reminding her, that she doesn’t have to force things with me. I will be there for her and I’m not going anywhere. Ever.”

“Yes,” McGonagall’s eyebrow arched and she smiled. “I believe that might just turn out to be true, Miss Granger.”

Hermione blushed and opened her mouth to respond, but McGonagall’s eyes flitted to something over her shoulder and she saw the team coming towards them. Bellatrix was still in her Quidditch clothes, although had removed the pads that protected her and her smile made Hermione’s heart leap. 

“Congratulations,” she said, first to Bellatrix and then to the rest of the team. “That was amazing.”

“Granger, how on earth did you find out about this?” Professor Sprout asked. 

“She was invited, Pomona,” McGonagall said. “I do believe that Miss Granger can keep a secret.”

“Oh, absolutely,” Hermione said. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

“I wouldn’t have expected you to be interested,” Hooch added. “Not the best with a broom, are you Granger?”

“It’s not my area of expertise, no,” Hermione admitted, glancing at Bellatrix who looked amused. “But watching you all play was brilliant.”

“Thank you, Miss Granger. Always nice to have extra fans in the audience; we are outnumbered by Hogsmeade after all,” Flitwick said, winking at her. 

“The best team won though,” Pemble grinned. “To Broomsticks for a celebratory drink?”

“Just one,” Bellatrix replied before looking at Hermione with a smile. “I have things to do.”

“Ah yes, the mysterious travels,” Sprout said. “I’ve never seen you so excited to leave Hogwarts, Bellatrix.”

“I found something worth leaving for.”

Hermione felt heat play across her cheeks but she didn’t drop her gaze from Bellatrix’s. Pemble coughed and nudged Bellatrix. 

“Well, let’s go then! I want a drink. You’re welcome to join us, Granger.”

“Thank you.”

An hour later, Hermione was making excuses about needing to get home and Bellatrix was making excuses about needing to leave before it got too late. Hermione waved to her ex-teachers, sad to be leaving but still smiling about the match and the drinking that had followed. Bellatrix had stuck to one drink and Hermione felt warm whenever those dark eyes trailed over her from across the table, as if promising to touch everywhere that they had looked once they were in private. 

“Thank you again for inviting me to join you,” Hermione stood at the end of the table, smiling at them all. 

“I’ll walk you out,” Bellatrix said after the teachers had all responded. 

As Bellatrix made her way around the table, Hermione watched as Hooch slid a galleon over to McGonagall. Pomfrey did the same. Hermione narrowed her eyes and McGonagall cracked a smile. 

“A simple wager, Miss Granger.”

“I’m starting to think you’ve got eyes and ears everywhere,” Hooch grumbled. 

“A wager about what?” Bellatrix asked. 

“Didn’t you have somewhere to be?” McGonagall said, pocketing the money. 

Bellatrix’s eyebrow raised. 

“On whether Miss Granger was your travelling companion,” Madam Pomfrey replied. 

“Poppy,” McGonagall chided. 

“Oh really?” Bellatrix’s eyebrow raised even further. Hermione could barely contain herself; fighting against the smile threatening her lips. 

“We’re not blind,” Hooch said. 

“You just lost,” Bellatrix pointed out. 

“Semantics.”

“Well I for one think you’re all terrible,” Pemble said. “Betting on whether they’re travelling together.”

“You bet that they wouldn’t even come to the pub!” Sprout chimed in. “And you owe me a galleon for it.”

“Oh my…” Hermione burst out laughing. “This is… you have a gambling ring. There’s a teacher’s gambling ring at Hogwarts.”

“We keep ourselves entertained,” Sinistra shrugged. 

“I won ten galleons for calling the Weasley twins confronting Umbridge,” Bellatrix muttered to her. 

“An easy win!” Flitwick called. “And you didn’t stop them just to win.”

“That wasn’t the only reason I didn’t stop them,” Bellatrix smirked. “I wanted to see if they’d blow the pink toad up.”

Laughter erupted from the table and Bellatrix’s hand settled against the small of Hermione’s back. 

“Go on you two, it’s time you were on your way,” McGonagall said through slightly teary eyes, although whether that was from the laughter or sadness, Hermione couldn’t tell. “And don’t forget Bellatrix, I expect to receive post!”

“I’m taking Hugin,” Bellatrix assured her. “Goodbye everyone. Do not let my replacement destroy my classroom; I’ll be back.”

“Goodbye,” Hermione smiled and then, with Bellatrix behind her, she left the Three Broomsticks. “I can’t believe they bet on us. I can’t believe they knew.”

“I can,” Bellatrix hummed. Her fingers brushed Hermione’s and she hesitantly entwined them, looking down at their hands for a moment before continuing. “Nothing is really a secret in that school.”

“I can see that.” Hermione smiled and swung their hands slightly. “You’re not upset?”

“No. I might have been months ago but… things change.”

“Yes, they most certainly do.”

At the end of the road, Bellatrix waved her wand and silently cast a spell in the direction of the castle. Hermione squeezed her hand and looked up at Hogwarts, a tinge of sadness seeping through her. 

“Are you ready?” Bellatrix asked, her thumb brushing over Hermione’s knuckles. 

“Yes.” Hermione replied looking at her again through her eyelashes. “Are you?”

“More than I’ve ever been.”

Bellatrix’s bag flew into her outstretched hand and she grinned. Hermione rolled her eyes. 

“Show off.”

“Perhaps a little.” She shrugged, the smug grin on her face never shrinking. Hermione leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. 

“Let’s go then.”

With one last glance up at Hogwarts, they stepped close together and vanished with a sharp crack, leaving Hogsmeade and Hogwarts behind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2... more... to... go.


	49. Mountains to Climb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so a montage of the next year or so appears...
> 
> Contains smut and mild panic attack/PTSD moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey. So a couple of things to say. 
> 
> 1\. Oh god, so close to the end. 
> 
> 2.https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzWpsevEDMc5cELNLqFPUrvN-eFVx_wma This is a collection of songs for In the Dead of Night. It is by no means complete but it's cute. 
> 
> 3\. My Tumblr is stargazereyes. I've posted a book cover for this and Pas de deux on there if you're interested. 
> 
> 4\. Bellamione Cult Discord Link: https://discord.gg/5a73aGKG45
> 
> 5\. Thank you for reading and sticking with this. I shall be sad to finish. Be safe out there.

_**September** _

“Stay still,” Hermione chuckled. 

“Well it’s taking so long.”

“Because you keep moving and hiding in your hair.”

“We are on a mountain; I cannot help that the wind is blowing all of this in my face.”

Hermione giggled and aimed the camera at Bellatrix again. 

“Alright one more.”

“It is a very good job that I have incentive to not push you off this mountain.”

Bellatrix smirked at her and pushed her hair out of her face again, just in time for Hermione to snap the picture. 

“Perfect!”

“Well I should hope so, with these cheekbones,” Bellatrix teased and then held out her hand. “Come here.”

“What?”

“Come up here.”

“Uhmmm… the edge? No way. What if I slip?”

“I’ll catch you.”

Hermione rolled her eyes and chewed her lip before stepping forward and taking Bellatrix’s hand, allowing her to help her onto the edge of the rocky outcrop that the older woman had just been posing on. She glanced down and immediately wished she hadn’t, looking out at the view and taking a deep breath. 

“Ooh that’s high.”

“Yes, little Lynx, it is. But look at that view.” Bellatrix’s arms wrapped around Hermione’s waist and she pulled her back into her so that she was wrapped snugly against the older woman. Hermione sighed and leaned her head against Bellatrix’s as the other woman rested her chin on Hermione’s shoulder. The mountain range stretched before them; the valley below split by the river that ran through it, creating the lush, green landscape around it. The sun had been rising during their climb and the last remnants of orange and pink still tinged the sky like a watercolour. “Breathtaking.”

“And you said we could have just apparated up here.”

“Well we could have.”

“But that would have been less fun.”

“Well, I suppose I do enjoy hearing you out of breath.”

Hermione elbowed Bellatrix gently and then pressed a kiss to her head. 

“I love you,” she murmured. It had been two months since she had first uttered those words and with every time she meant them even more. Sometimes, a tinge of doubt or sadness would run through her when Bellatrix didn’t speak the words in return, but she knew that she couldn’t rush the other woman. After everything she had been through, she had earned the right to take her time. 

Bellatrix turned her head and buried her face against Hermione’s, kissing her jaw. 

“Take a photograph.”

“Hmm?”

“Take a photograph of us together for your next article.”

“Are you sure?” To this point, Bellatrix had carefully avoided being in any pictures that would be published and had only allowed Hermione to mention her as her travel companion twice; once in the first piece and once for a particularly funny tale in which a Niffler had managed to get into their tent during the night and gone to sleep in Bellatrix’s curls, much to Hermione’s amusement in the morning. Bellatrix had pretended she was annoyed, but Hermione saw her pet the creature on its head before they sent it on its way, after checking it for valuables of course. 

“Yes, I’m sure.” Bellatrix’s breath was warm against Hermione’s neck and it made her shiver. “If you want. I… I don’t want to hide forever.”

Hermione smiled and kissed her head again before raising the camera. 

“We should turn around. Get some of the view in.”

Once they were in position, Hermione angled the camera at them and took a few pictures. Bellatrix stood behind her and Hermione missed her arms around her waist. But as she leaned back into the woman gently, aware of the drop behind them, she felt one of her arms snake around her waist again, steadying them. 

“You know people will talk,” Hermione grinned, snapping another picture. “Narcissa will complain about a scandal.”

“Narcissa doesn’t care now that you’re not in school,” Bellatrix murmured. “And let them talk. At least this time it is for something I have actually done.”

Hermione felt the deep chuckle vibrate through Bellatrix behind her and joined in as Bellatrix’s lips pressed against her neck again. She snapped another picture for her own collection and then turned to kiss Bellatrix. 

“The editor said that they received an overwhelming response to the first few articles and the majority have been positive. One or two idiots who still haven’t worked out what you did for us all, but mainly…” Hermione trailed off as she saw the flash of pain in Bellatrix’s eyes. “Sorry.”

“It’s nothing.”

“It definitely is something.”

Bellatrix closed her eyes and inhaled. 

“I’m fine. Really. Sometimes I almost forget, when I’m with you, so when I remember… it hits harder.”

Hermione smoothed some of Bellatrix’s hair out of her face as the wind continued to swirl around them. 

“I’m sorry I reminded you.”

Bellatrix shook her head and pressed a kiss to Hermione’s palm. 

“Shall we go for a run?”

“Here?” Hermione blinked, looking around. 

“Where else? No one else around, fresh mountain air…” Bellatrix grinned, pulling Hermione away from the ledge and back to where their bags were. “We’ll hide these and our wands and just run.”

If anyone had happened to be hiking in that area in the next half an hour, they would have seen a large black wolf chasing a lynx across the mountain track as though they were playing a game of tag. 

Lynx Hermione leapt over a boulder and landed, feeling the rock beneath her paws and bounding forward. She could sense Bellatrix chasing; could hear the panting behind her and it made her grin, showing her fangs. 

Bellatrix jumped on Hermione and they went tumbling into some bushes. When they emerged, some time later, it was in their human form, carrying their bags, with twigs and leaves in their hair. Bellatrix smirked at Hermione. 

“You look like you got changed in a bush.”

“Funny that,” Hermione rolled her eyes. “Since it is exactly what I did.”

Bellatrix picked the bits of leaf and twig out from Hermione’s hair and allowed the younger woman to do the same to her. 

“Ready to go?”

“Yes,” Hermione grinned, shouldering the backpack that she had been using. It was enchanted, of course, because she and Bellatrix spent wet weather days in the tent reading and they had gotten through so many books that Hermione had lost count. “Are you?”

“Yes.” Bellatrix shouldered her own bag and Hermione raked her eyes over the other woman. “What?”

“Have I told you how good muggle clothes look on you?”

Bellatrix rolled her eyes but Hermione saw the tinge of pink on her cheeks. 

“I miss my dresses. I miss my corsets. But these are… acceptable.”

“More than a little acceptable,” Hermione smirked. Bellatrix was wearing black leggings and a black fleece jacket, which hugged her shape and had almost given Hermione a heart attack when she first saw her in them. 

“If you keep looking at me like that we’re not going to make it to the campsite.”

Hermione smirked harder. Bellatrix took a step towards her and Hermione relented. 

“Alright alright. But only because I know that if we don’t make it you’ll complain all night about having to walk further tomorrow.”

Grinning, Bellatrix took another step towards her. 

“Oh, I complain do I?”

“Uh… sometimes?” Another step forward and Bellatrix’s eyes were gleaming playfully. Hermione raised her eyebrow. “Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be?”

She took off down the path as fast as possible without risking her neck and she heard Bellatrix’s cackle echoing off the rocks behind her. 

***

“How is the article coming?” Bellatrix asked, not really looking up from the pages of her book. They were sitting on the sofa, at opposite ends, Hermione writing her article and Bellatrix reading with their legs tangled underneath a blanket. Music was playing softly from the record player in the corner; Hermione had been educating Bellatrix on muggle music through the eras and they had just gotten to a collection from the sixties. 

“It’s going well,” Hermione murmured, finishing a sentence with a flourish of her quill. “The pictures should be done developing as well.”

“Do you want me to check them?”

“Please.” Hermione glanced up at Bellatrix and smiled before returning to the article to check it over. Bellatrix moved from under the blanket and headed to the table where the photos had been developing. 

A few minutes later and Hermione glanced up, her read through finished. Bellatrix was still standing at the table, looking down at the photos, her back to Hermione. 

“Bella? Did they come out alright?” There was no answer, so Hermione put down her quill and parchment and stood, padding over to Bellatrix. “Hey.”

She came from the side; if Bellatrix was having an episode, she didn’t want to startle her. She had learned quickly that coming up behind Bellatrix and wrapping her arms around her when she wasn’t aware of Hermione’s presence could be dangerous for them both. It had taken her a week to convince Bellatrix that she was alright and that they should continue travelling together, but it had shaken them both up. Now she was more careful. 

Bellatrix turned her head slowly and offered Hermione a slight smile. 

“Look.”

Hermione stepped in closer and looked down at the pictures. 

The first thing she noticed was that Bellatrix was smiling. It wasn’t her smirk, nor her tight, polite smile. It was a full, happy smile that brightened her face as she leaned around Hermione. In the last picture that Hermione had taken, Bellatrix leaned into her and pressed a kiss to her neck and Hermione’s smile had broadened so much that she looked as though she might burst. 

Hermione looked up at Bellatrix’s face and saw that her eyes were a little watery. She slowly and carefully slid her arm around Bellatrix’s waist, leaning into her. 

“We look-”

“-happy.” Bellatrix murmured. “I’m happy with you, in ways I never imagined I could be with anyone.”

“I’m happy too,” Hermione replied softly, rubbing her thumb against Bellatrix’s waist. 

“After everything I’ve seen and done…” Bellatrix’s fingers traced over her own face and then Hermione’s on the photograph in front of her. “I didn’t even know I could feel like this anymore.”

She turned slightly and cupped Hermione’s face, bringing her into a soft kiss. 

“I think that’s why you deserve to,” Hermione whispered. Bellatrix studied her quietly for a moment and then, as the song ended in the background and another began, she smiled softly. 

“Do you remember when you said that you wished that we could have danced together, at the New Year’s party?” Hermione nodded and Bellatrix took her hand. “Dance with me now.”

She led her away from the table and Hermione melted into her arms like she belonged there which, now, she did. The song crooned from the speaker as they swayed and Hermione couldn’t help but think that the lyrics were fitting, as she stared into Bellatrix’s dark eyes and found nothing but warmth in them. 

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night_  
_Take these broken wings and learn to fly_  
_All your life_  
_You were only waiting for this moment to arise_  
_Blackbird singing in the dead of night_  
_Take these sunken eyes and learn to see_  
_All your life_  
_You were only waiting for this moment to be free_

Bellatrix leaned in and pressed a kiss to Hermione’s forehead at her hairline and then slowly spun her out and then back into her hold, making Hermione chuckle lightly as she wrapped herself around her lover again. 

_Blackbird fly, blackbird fly_  
_Into the light of a dark black night_  
_Blackbird fly, blackbird fly_  
_Into the light of a dark black night_  
_Blackbird singing in the dead of night_  
_Take these broken wings and learn to fly_  
_All your life_  
_You were only waiting for this moment to arise_  
_You were only waiting for this moment to arise_  
_You were only waiting for this moment to arise_

As the lyrics faded out, Bellatrix pulled back slightly, looking at Hermione with the softest smile that Hermione had ever seen on her face. She released her from her hold, allowing Hermione’s hands to drift to her waist as Bellatrix hooked a stray strand of hair from Hermione’s face and curled it around her ear. 

“I love you.”

Hermione’s heart felt like it was trying to leap from her chest and her cheeks ached as her smile grew. Hearing those words meant everything and more. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the older woman’s lips. 

“I love you, Bellatrix.”

That night, curled in bed together, Hermione stroked Bellatrix’s face softly, her thumb tracing the line of her lips. 

“Do you know how happy it made me to hear you say that you love me?” Hermione’s voice was barely a murmur, but Bellatrix’s eyes fluttered open anyway. Her large, dark eyes traced the features of Hermione’s face softly and then she pressed a kiss to her thumb. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner.”

“No,” Hermione shushed her. “That was perfect.”

“You told me you loved me that night in July.” Her insecurity lay subtly under the statement and Hermione felt the urge to soothe her. 

“And that was perfect too. I wouldn’t change a thing.” She cuddled into Bellatrix, resting her head in the crook of her neck and watching as her chest rose and fell. “That night was one of the happiest of my life so far.”

“So far?”

“I plan to have many more with you,” Hermione hummed as her eyes fluttered shut and sleep began to claim her. “Many, many more.”

The last thing she was conscious of before she fell asleep was Bellatrix’s thumb stroking her arm gently as she pressed a kiss to her head. 

***  
_**October**_

  
“It is a very odd tradition.”

“The Wizarding world celebrates Hallowe’en too.” Hermione chuckled, her arm looped through Bellatrix’s as they strode through the fayre. 

“I didn’t say we didn’t,” Bellatrix smirked. “I just find it odd.”

“I’d have thought you’d have been happy; it’s the first time you’ve been able to put on your corset in a couple of months.”

Bellatrix rolled her eyes as Hermione laughed. 

“Well, my darling, it is not as though you’re complaining.”

“I love your corsets.”

“Just not when you’re trying to get them off in a hurry,” Bellatrix teased.

“Fortunately, being a witch makes that task easier.”

“There was a child dressed as a witch with a giant wart on her nose back there. Did you see? Why do they always think we have warts?”

“I don’t know. She was adorable though.”

“I am beginning to doubt your taste.”

“I have excellent taste. I chose you, after all.”

Bellatrix’s smile flickered slightly, but she simply squeezed Hermione’s arm and they continued to walk through the fayre, looking at all the stalls and haunted houses. 

“Do you want to go in there?” Bellatrix asked as Hermione studied the entrance to one of the houses as they passed. 

“No, I’m good.”

“I thought you enjoyed muggle traditions?”

“I do… I don’t care about the houses though. Besides, people jump out and…” Hermione trailed off and shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

They walked in silence for a while, lost in their thoughts. 

“You don’t think that I could cope. That it could make me react… violently?”

“No,” Hermione stopped, looking at Bellatrix. “I didn’t say that.”

“But you were thinking it, weren’t you?”

Hermione hesitated and then sighed. 

“Maybe a little.” Bellatrix opened her mouth, frustrated. “But it’s not just that. I… it’s possible that I might also react badly. I don’t want to risk either of us. You’re not the only one who isn’t fully over what’s happened.”

Bellatrix worked her mouth, visibly wrestling with what to say. Hermione gave her space, unhooking their arms but taking her hand instead to let her know she was still there. 

“I feel like I’m holding you back. Like it’s my fault.”

“It’s not.” Hermione murmured, squeezing her hand. “Everything, for both of us, goes back to Voldermort.”

Bellatrix flinched and looked away. 

“I hate when you say his name.”

“What would you rather I said? I won’t say ‘he who must not be named’, I just won’t.” Hermione knew that her frustration was seeping into her voice but she couldn’t help it. 

“I don’t know,” Bellatrix snapped, dropping Hermione’s hand. “I…”

She looked around at all the people and gritted her teeth. Hermione sighed. 

“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”

“What?” Bellatrix looked back at her, a flicker of doubt in her eyes. 

“Coming to the fayre.” Hermione saw the relief flash through Bellatrix’s eyes. “What did you think I meant?”

“Nothing.”

“Bella-”

“I… I don’t know. I can’t think with all these people,” Bellatrix closed her eyes tight. Hermione felt a twinge of guilt and gently took Bellatrix’s hand guiding her through the crowds to behind one of the stands where there was no one around and the lights were dimmer. 

“Is that better?”

Shaking her head, Bellatrix leaned against the back of the stand and sank to the floor, clutching her head. 

“Sorry,” she hissed, her breathing shallow and fast. 

“It’s okay, breathe.” Hermione knelt in front of her, the damp grass soaking her knees immediately. “Slowly, with me.”

She placed a hand on Bellatrix’s arm and stroked slowly, slowing her breathing and guiding Bellatrix. 

“I… hate… this…” Bellatrix said between inhale and exhale. 

“I know, it’s okay, you’ve got this. Just keep focussing on breathing in and out. I love you, you’re okay.” It took time, but Bellatrix eventually calmed. Hermione stroked her hair away from her face and sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I’m sorry you’re hurting. I’m sorry I didn’t think that this place might be hard on you.”

“Hermione,” Bellatrix cupped her jaw and stroked her thumb over Hermione’s scar; something that had become a habit for her when she was being tender. “We can’t spend our lives avoiding things that might make one, or both of us, feel like this. We’d never do anything. We’re supposed to be having an adventure; we can’t do that without moments like this.”

“You just had a panic attack; how is it that you’re making more sense than I am right now?” Hermione chuckled, blinking at tears that threatened to escape. 

“Because I’m old. Apparently that means I’m wise.” Hermione snorted and Bellatrix smiled, stroking her face. “This won’t be the last time this happens; you know that. But being with you… I know that they will pass.”

“That’s how I feel,” Hermione murmured, kissing the hand still on her cheek. “When I have these… it’s like you’re holding me to reality.”

“Always.”

“Shall we go back to the room?”

Bellatrix stood slowly, bringing Hermione with her. 

“I may have had enough for one night.”

“Me too. Although… let me grab us a treat to take back?”

“Lead the way, little lynx,” Bellatrix smiled, taking Hermione’s hand again. “I’ll be okay.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, darling.”

They headed directly to one of the stalls that was selling various hot pastries, drinks and sweets. Hermione ordered them both a hot chocolate and picked out a few pastries for them to have back in the pub room that they were staying in. She turned to see if Bellatrix was okay and found her staring at the candy floss machine, her eyebrow raised. 

“Do you want some?”

“What is it?” Bellatrix murmured. “It looks like a pink cloud.”

Hermione giggled. 

“It’s basically sugar.” She turned to the lady serving them. “Can we get some candy floss as well?”

“One or two sticks dear?”

“Just one; we’ll share. Thank you.”

Hermione slipped her hand into Bellatrix’s again and smiled at her as they waited. She handed over the money when the lady returned and passed Bellatrix her hot chocolate and the candy floss. Taking her own drink and the bag of pastries, she beckoned Bellatrix with her head and they began to head back towards the pub. 

“How do I…” Bellatrix was staring at the pink cloud, perplexed. 

Hermione reached over, the bag of pastries hanging from her wrist and plucked some of the candy floss from the tower, popping it into her mouth and feeling it immediately begin to crystallize and melt. 

“Like that.” Bellatrix frowned at her full hands and Hermione smiled. “Or just take a bite.”

Bellatrix leaned forward and took a hesitant bite, the candy floss stretching so that she had to chew the piece off. She looked even more perplexed as she attempted to process what was happening to the candy floss in her mouth. 

“That is very odd.”

“Not a fan?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Hermione grinned as Bellatrix took a sip of her hot chocolate and then another bite of candy floss. 

“Come on, let’s get back to the pub. I want to try these pastries before they get cold.”

***

_**November** _

Hugin found them when they were spending some time with Centaurs in Germany and looked rather disgruntled when Bellatrix didn’t have any treats for him. 

“From Narcissa?” Hermione asked, rubbing her gloved hands together. 

“Yes,” Bellatrix murmured, reading through the letter. “She is asking me to consider joining them for Christmas.”

“Ginny invited us to the Burrow too,” Hermione murmured. 

“Do you want to go?”

“Do you?” Bellatrix rolled her eyes and gave Hermione a look. “Okay, yes. But also no. I don’t want us to have to tear around, choosing where to go for what part of the day. I mean I’ve got my parents too and Ginny said I could invite them but I don’t know how they’d feel… you know? Besides, the Burrow was cramped enough last year and we have the chance to spend Christmas with Charlie and the dragons.”

“Understandable,” Bellatrix murmured. “Although I didn’t have any real complaints about the Burrow situation. Not really.”

Hermione smirked at her as she assembled the tent. 

“That’s because you had a thing for me.”

“I did not…” Bellatrix trailed off. “Very well, I did ‘have a thing’ for you. What a crude way of putting it.”

“Oh I do apologise,” Hermione grinned. “How about… ‘you were enamoured with me and could barely resist me’?”

Bellatrix snorted and flicked her wand, sending the snow from the branches above down on Hermione who gasped and then turned to face her with a glint in her eyes. Bellatrix shrugged, smirking. 

“You needed a cold shower.”

“Oh, really?” Hermione bent down to pick up a snowball. Bellatrix stood, dropping the letter onto her bag. 

“Hermione, don’t start something you know you’ll lose.”

“I don’t know that,” Hermione grinned, raising her arm. “You’ve never won against me.”

“Neither have you,” Bellatrix’s smile was wolfish as she readied herself. Hermione let the snowball loose and Bellatrix dodged, running for the nearby tree and sliding behind it, dropping to the floor to roll her own snowballs. Hermione laughed and started gathering another before sneaking up to the tree. She raised her arm, ready to jump round it and throw, when Bellatrix appeared and tackled her to the ground. They went rolling through the snow, chuckling. Bellatrix ended up on top and Hermione grinned up at her, looking at the bits of snow in her hair and the lightness in her face. 

She moved her arms and Bellatrix quickly grabbed them, pinning them above her head. 

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about that snowball fight,” she grinned. “I’m not getting a face full of snow again.”

“No?” Hermione teased. 

“No.” Bellatrix leaned down and kissed her, pulling her lip with her teeth and releasing with a gentle pop. “But you are.”

Bellatrix released her hands and scooped up snow, depositing it on her head, in one fluid movement, leaving Hermione spluttering. 

“Oh you’re so dead,” she shivered, sitting up as Bellatrix’s weight left her, and wiping her eyes. Bellatrix’s cackle echoed loudly through the woods. Hermione blinked and looked around. “Where’ve you gone?”

“Have to find me, won’t you, pet?” Bellatrix’s sing-song voice came floating through the trees and Hermione smirked, climbing to her feet. She took off after Bellatrix, looking at the footprints in the snow. They faded in the denser trees and she paused, looking around, listening. 

“What do I get when I win?” She grinned, looking around for any signs of movement. 

“You won’t,” Bellatrix’s voice came from her left and Hermione turned on her heel. 

“But what if I do?” Silence greeted her. “Oh dear, worried that I’m getting close?”

Hermione was yanked backwards and plastered against a tree; Bellatrix chuckling darkly. 

“You still have a lot of learn, pet.”

“Or maybe I just wanted you to get to me first,” Hermione smirked, leaning forward and capturing her lips in a kiss that could have melted the snow around them. Bellatrix chuckled into it and when they paused for breath, she bent down and lifted Hermione up so that the younger woman had to wrap herself around her tightly, and carried her back to the tent. 

Hours later, they lay in bed; Bellatrix on her back with her hair spilling across the pillow and Hermione half on top of her, her head tucked into her neck. 

“What are we going to do about Christmas?” She murmured, her lips brushing Bellatrix’s skin. 

“I don’t know,” Bellatrix sighed. “I don’t mind where we go, as long as I spend it with you.”

  
***  
**_December_**

Hermione watched as the dragon soared overhead, unaware of their presence. She leaned against Bellatrix, wrapped in the same blanket, and sipped her hot chocolate. Charlie grinned at them over the fire. 

“Want me to take a photo, ‘Mione? Only I’m pretty sure that no-one back home will believe that Bellatrix Black cuddles unless there’s evidence.”

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and smirked at him. 

“Charlie Weasley, I still remember when you lost your eyebrows in Potions class and spent the next week with giant, purple bushy ones because you messed up the spell for fixing them.”

Charlie blushed and laughed. Hermione chuckled. 

“Yes, please Charlie. I’d like a picture.”

She handed the camera to him and he positioned himself on the other side of the fire, pressing the shutter twice before handing it back. 

“If that goes anywhere that my future students can see,” Bellatrix murmured into Hermione’s hair, “you won’t be able to sleep for fear of retribution.”

“I don’t get that much sleep with you anyway,” Hermione teased. Bellatrix hummed and squeezed her thigh. 

“Not tonight, at least.” She raised her eyebrow and smiled. “Merry Christmas, Hermione.”

“Merry Christmas, Bella.”

The distant sound of dragon roars brought their attention back to the sky. They were sheltered in an outcrop on the mountain, a fire in the middle of the circle, surrounded by Charlie and his co-workers. Christmas dinner had been an odd collection of food, mainly local food with things from care packages from family members thrown in, but Hermione had enjoyed it thoroughly. It made up for not going home for Christmas. 

“You’re not regretting it?” Bellatrix murmured against her head. 

“Not going home? No. I miss them, but I don’t regret spending time with you. We’ll see them next year.” 

Bellatrix kissed her head again and Hermione leaned into her more, closing her eyes. 

***

 _ **February**_

Hermione woke suddenly and for a moment lay confused, wondering what could have disturbed her sleep. It was still dark, and her eyes darted around, trying to adjust. 

A whimper sounded next to her and Hermione tensed as she felt Bellatrix trembling against her. 

“Bella?”

“No… no… you can’t…”

“Bella,” Hermione murmured, reaching in the dark for her wand. Bellatrix moved in the dark and Hermione heard her snarl as she grabbed her wand and whispered, “Lumos.”

Bellatrix was sweating, her skin paler than normal and Hermione’s light made her wince away in her sleep. Hermione leaned over her and pressed her hand lightly on her shoulder, attempting to wake her from the nightmare. Bellatrix’s eyes shot open; she took one look at the figure over her and then Hermione was on her back with Bellatrix straddling her, a knife pressed to her throat. Hermione gasped, fighting the instinct to send her attacker flying with a hex. Bellatrix’s eyes were dark and empty, and she was staring straight through Hermione as though she wasn’t seeing her; as though she were still half in her nightmare. 

“Bella…” Hermione whispered, feeling the knife against her throat as she spoke. “It’s me. Come back to me.”

She could feel Bellatrix trembling as the coldness in her eyes melted away and became tears of regret and horror. 

“Hermione…”

“It’s okay, you’re okay, I’m okay.” Bellatrix lifted the knife from Hermione’s throat and dropped it on the floor, lifting her shaking hand to cover her mouth and then to rest on her chest. 

“I… I’m so sorry, I-” Hermione’s hand reached up slowly and cupped Bellatrix’s face, stroking a stray tear from her cheek. 

“You were having a nightmare but you’re okay.”

“I could have killed you.”

“But you didn’t.” Hermione sat up, slipping her hand into Bellatrix’s hair. She could feel her heart thumping in her chest and she tried to remember to breathe properly as adrenaline pumped through her body. “We’re both fine.”

She could see Bellatrix’s eyes darting across her face, filled with doubt, regret and so much more. She could see the fear was still in control and her eyelashes fluttered as she tried to work out how to reassure her. 

Bellatrix’s eyes widened when Hermione leaned up and pressed her lips to hers. For a moment, she froze under Hermione’s touch and then, with a sigh, she leaned into the kiss.

They hovered in tenderness for a moment and then Bellatrix pulled away, taking a breath. 

“Hermione…”

“Yes?” Hermione’s voice was breathy and surprised them both, although Hermione’s eyes kept flicking to Bellatrix’s lips. Bellatrix cocked her head to the side, studying Hermione’s face for a moment, taking in her parted lips and lidded eyes. 

She leaned in and captured Hermione’s lips in a searing kiss and Hermione’s hands flew to her hips, pulling her closer. Bellatrix’s teeth scraped her lip and Hermione moaned, hard. Bellatrix’s hips rolled against Hermione’s stomach and the young witch trembled. 

“Fuck,” Bellatrix tore away, panting. “Hermione, I shouldn’t…”

“Why not?” Hermione murmured, her hands skating over Bellatrix’s hips, up her waist and around to her back so that she could pull her close, allowing her mouth to close around the older woman’s nipple. Bellatrix arched, inhaling sharply as her head fell back. 

“I used to do this. I don’t… I don’t want you to be… that.”

“I’m not.” Hermione remembered their conversation at the Burrow on Christmas night and later in the school year at Hogwarts, when Bellatrix had told her that there were other distractions from her pain than drinking. Distractions that hadn’t been available for them then. “This isn’t just you distracting yourself. It’s me. I’m still going to be here in the morning, and the day after, and the day after…”

Bellatrix chewed her lip, torn. 

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. I want all of you.” Hermione murmured, pressing a kiss to the bone between Bellatrix’s breasts. “If you want me, I’m yours.”

Bellatrix’s hesitation waned and then faded completely as Hermione looked up at her; her eyes so sure and steady and filled with love… and desire. The older woman pushed her back onto the bed and gathered her arms above her head; Hermione’s heart was pounding against her ribcage and she couldn’t look away from Bellatrix as she lowered herself against her. 

“I always want you, little lynx.” Bellatrix’s teeth grazed Hermione’s jaw. “You’re mine?”

“For as long as you want me,” Hermione replied steadily, although she was trembling with want. 

Bellatrix kissed her and Hermione arched into her. She wanted to bury her fingers in Bellatrix’s curls and scratch her scalp; she loved the noises that spilled from her lover’s lips when she did this. But Bellatrix had her pinned and all Hermione could do was moan into the kiss that was setting her nerves on fire. 

Usually, Bellatrix liked to tease, take her time and make sure Hermione was on the edge before she’d even moved below the hip, but tonight she wasn’t holding back at all. Hermione bit her lip as Bellatrix settled between her legs and sent her spiralling into delirium, her arms wrapped around Hermione’s thighs to leave her open to the onslaught. Every breath she took was ragged, out of rhythm; her body writhing under Bellatrix’s mouth. 

“Bel-ah!” Hermione fingers scratched against Bellatrix’s scalp as she arched; pulling her curls. Bellatrix only doubled her efforts and Hermione’s eyes rolled, unable to keep focused on anything but the way her entire body seemed to be rolling with wave after wave of ecstatic electricity, until it built and built and she felt as though she might explode. She came hard; a jumbled sound somewhere between a scream and a moan reverberating through her throat as she quivered. 

Bellatrix, satisfied and smirking, reappeared above her as Hermione fought to steady her breathing. She smiled, a breathy chuckle escaping from her lips and Bellatrix leaned down to kiss her before rolling to the side and pulling Hermione against her. 

Are you alright?” She murmured into Hermione’s ear when her breathing was settling into a rhythm again. 

“Am I alright? I’m… yes. Yes.” Hermione twisted her head to look at Bellatrix. “Are you?”

“Yes,” Bellatrix murmured, kissing Hermione’s head through her wayward waves of hair. “I’m good.”

“You’re better than good,” Hermione murmured, grinning and was rewarded by a chuckle from Bellatrix. 

“Flirt.”

“When is a better time to flirt than when you’ve just done that?”

“Touche, darling.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

They drifted to sleep, Bellatrix’s arm holding Hermione close, and their sleep was undisturbed for the rest of the night.

***  
_**July**_

Bellatrix was watching her from across the room; Hermione could sense her. It felt like they were back at Hogwarts, when lingering looks raised hairs in the Great Hall. She pretended not to notice; her quill scratching against the parchment. This article was about the Merpeople they had been getting to know in Greece and she was a little late in sending it.

It wasn’t due for a few more days but Hermione liked to be early, only Bellatrix had been very distracting recently. Not that Hermione minded, but it was time to get some self control. She had to finish-

She glanced up. Bellatrix had a little smile on her face which only widened when Hermione’s eyes met hers. 

“How’s it going?”

“It’s getting there.” Bellatrix put down the book she had obviously not been reading for a while. 

“Do you want me to read it?”

“When it’s done.” Hermione’s brow furrowed. “Are you bored?”

“Bored? No. Restless… perhaps.”

“Why don’t you go and get us something for dinner? I’ll be done by the time you get back.”

Bellatrix hummed and stood. 

“Anything in particular you want to eat?”

“Surprise me.”

Bellatrix padded over to her and Hermione watched her, closely, as she stopped in front of her. Leaning down, Bellatrix placed a kiss on Hermione’s head which lingered. 

“I’ll be back soon.”

“Be safe.” Hermione watched her go and then shook her head and turned back to her writing. Something had changed in the past few months. Bellatrix was softer and her nightmares seemed to be plaguing her less. They were still there and the woman was by no means a marshmallow, but there were moments when Hermione’s heart felt like it might burst with the tenderness of her. “I’m in love with you.”

Bellatrix was long gone, but Hermione spoke the words anyway, letting them float from her lips towards the entrance of the tent as though they might follow her. 

She smiled and returned to the article; the sooner she was done, the sooner she could join Bellatrix. Perhaps they would read together, or spend the night tangled in the sheets of their bed. Whatever the plan was, she was happy. 

***  
**_September_**

“I’d forgotten how good you look like that,” Hermione grinned, lying on her stomach on the bed, watching Bellatrix using magic to lace her corset. The older witch shot her a smirk. 

“No you hadn’t.”

“No, I hadn’t, but damn…”

“Keep looking at me like that and I’ll be late.”

“I can’t believe how quickly the year has flown. Back to school already…”

Bellatrix glanced over again. 

“You’re fine with me going back to teach?”

“Of course.” Hermione criss-crossed her legs behind her, leaning on her hand. “Doesn’t mean I can’t be a little sad that I can’t keep you in bed all day.”

“Weekends,” Bellatrix chuckled, striding over to the bed, making Hermione scramble to a kneeling position on the bed so that she was the right height for a kiss. Bellatrix scanned her and smirked. “How am I supposed to leave when you look like that?”

“I didn’t say I was going to make it easy.”

“Merlin,” Bellatrix breathed. “You will be the death of me, little lynx.”

“Well, as a very clever witch once told me, a little death is always welcome.”

Bellatrix’s smirk grew and she leaned forward to kiss Hermione with a chuckle. 

“Smart woman.”

“She is. Very. Beautiful too.”

“Flatterer.”

“Mmmm.” Hermione scratched her fingers against the back of Bellatrix’s scalp, making the older woman’s fingers dig into her hips. “You love me.”

“I do,” she replied, sliding her arms around Hermione’s waist. “Very much.”

Bellatrix did end up being late to the welcome feast, much to Hermione’s amusement. When she was sitting at the desk the next day, an owl appeared at her window, a letter tied to it’s leg. 

_Welcome back from your travels, Miss Granger._  
_I hope that you will join Bellatrix and I for tea one evening_  
_this week?_  
_I suppose you have no explanation for why my Head of_  
_Slytherin was late to the Feast on Sunday? She remains_  
_tight-lipped and without reasonable excuse._  
_Yours, with best wishes,_  
_M. McGonagall._

Hermione laughed. 

***  
**_December_**

Hermione tip-toed down the corridor and knocked on the door. It opened and she slipped inside, throwing her arms around Bellatrix as soon as the door was closed. 

“You are a rebel,” Bellatrix chuckled, kissing her hard. “How did you do it this time?”

“Let’s just say, the Whomping Willow hasn’t gotten nicer since I left. But so worth it.”

Bellatrix chuckled and kissed her again. They staggered blindly towards the bedroom, wrapped in each other, and tumbled into bed. 

An hour later, Hermione was stroking her fingers through Bellatrix’s hair as the woman lay on her chest, humming contentedly. 

“I missed you,” she murmured and Hermione looked down at her with a smile. 

“I missed you too. Work is… chaotic.”

“You’re loving it.”

“I am.” Hermione grinned. Working as the International Liaison for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures was more rewarding than she had thought and it meant that she could still travel. She had been away for two weeks, working on a tough case where an entire subway of people in America had seen, and been bitten by, a swarm of Doxies. “How’s Hogwarts?”

“Some of the students are still asking how you are,” Bellatrix chuckled. In her first week back, every single class she had taught, including the First Years, had contained a student brave enough to ask their Professor about her adventures with Hermione. One seventh year had even asked her whether they were together, earning him a loss of House Points and a reminder that she was their Professor and not their friend. Hermione had teased her for that, saying ‘two years ago and that would’ve been detentions for the rest of the year; you’re getting soft’. “I have taken to telling them that if they get a job at the Ministry they can ask you.”

“You think I’ll still be at the Ministry when some of them finish school?”

“Darling, I think you’ll be Minister. If you want, of course.”

Hermione smiled and resumed stroking Bellatrix’s hair. 

“Ginny asked me about Christmas when I had lunch with her the other day.”

“I thought that might come up. Narcissa and Andy are both attempting to find out my plans. Apparently Teddy is insisting on seeing his Aunt Bella for Christmas.”

Hermione chuckled. 

“Well you can’t disappoint Teddy.”

“He’s a toddler.”

“You adore him.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“But you want to see your family, right?”

“Yes... I would like that.”

Hermione lapsed into thought and after a short while, she realised that Bellatrix’s breathing had evened out. She glanced down and saw that her lover’s eyes were shut and she was sleeping soundly. Hermione smiled, dropping a kiss to her head and then she slipped carefully from Bellatrix’s bed, lowering her head gently so she wouldn’t disturb her. She pulled on her underwear and jumper and padded into the other room, searching through Bellatrix’s things. She took a new roll of parchment and a quill and began to write. 

When she returned to bed half an hour later, having sent Hugin on his way with the letters she had written, Bellatrix shivered as her cold feet brushed against the older woman. 

“Sorry,” Hermione murmured, cuddling up to her again. 

“Where did you go?” Bellatrix grumbled sleepily. 

“I had to write a letter.”

“Mmm,” Bellatrix sighed and wrapped her arm around Hermione. “Love you.”

“I love you too.” 


	50. Merry Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas, friends and family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we go. The last chapter.

The dark gates didn’t seem so intimidating, Hermione noted, when they were decked out in wreaths and garlands. The house was lit up like it had been on New Year’s Eve two years before and Hermione smiled at the memory. How different things were now. 

Bellatrix’s fingers laced with hers. 

“Remembering the last time you were here?”

“The first time we kissed, yes.” She turned her head to look at Bellatrix and grinned. “And now we don’t have to sneak off to private rooms to do it.”

“I may still steal you away,” Bellatrix smirked. There was a cough from behind them and Hermione’s face reddened. 

“Sorry, mum, dad.” Bellatrix looked mortified and Hermione squeezed her hand. “Come on, let’s get inside. It’s freezing out here.”

“Good idea.” Hermione’s mother chuckled and they walked briskly up the path and to the door, doing their best not to slip in the snow. “How nice for your sister to invite us to spend the holiday with them. I’m looking forward to meeting your family.”

Bellatrix’s hand tightened reflexively but she smiled politely back at Hermione’s parents. 

“I believe it was Hermione’s idea,” she murmured. “I’m not sure that I would have thought it possible.”

“Well, Christmas is about spending time with family; blood or chosen,” Hermione’s mother replied as they stopped in front of the door, putting her hand gently on Bellatrix’s arm. “We’re glad to spend it with you both.”

“Thank you,” Bellatrix’s voice was rough with emotion and Hermione squeezed her hand, gave her a peck on the cheek, and then knocked on the door. 

Narcissa Malfoy was, as ever, exquisitely put together. She opened the door wearing a fitted black suit, a green, silk shirt tucked into the high-waisted trousers and a thick, silver necklace that looked just like a snake wrapped around her neck; it’s head slithering between her breasts with two emeralds for eyes. 

“Bella, Hermione,” she inclined her head, a small smile on her lips, and then her eyes slid to Hermione’s parents. Hermione braced herself; she hadn’t told Bellatrix but she’d been secretly dreading this moment, in case Narcissa had not changed as much as she had appeared to. “Mr and Mrs Granger. You are very welcome to my home.”

“Thank you for inviting us,” Hermione’s mother replied, inclining her head in response, smiling. Hermione had told them a little of the history, but left most of it out, not wanting the meeting to be awkward. She let out a breath she didn’t realise she’d been holding and Bellatrix squeezed her hand momentarily, before releasing her to greet her sister in a tight hug. 

“Thank you for hosting, Cissy.”

“Well, I have the most space and it seemed the only way to get you to come home for Christmas.” The slight reprimand didn’t go unnoticed and Hermione watched as Bellatrix stiffened slightly. Narcissa seemed to notice too. “I was happy to do it. I’m just grateful that this is possible, now.”

“As am I.” They shared a look and Hermione lowered her eyes to offer them some privacy, but then it was over and Narcissa turned to her again. 

“Come in, come in.”

She stepped back, allowing them to cross the threshold. Hermione glanced back at her parents, checking on them. She knew that this was a little overwhelming for them; this was all very different from The Burrow, where they had been invited for tea once or twice. 

The door closed behind them as Draco Malfoy appeared down the stairs. 

“Welcome!” He smiled, opening his arms. The way Bellatrix embraced him made Hermione’s heart melt a little and she leaned into her mum, resting her head on her shoulder as she watched. “It’s so good to have you here, Aunt Bella.”

Bellatrix withdrew, glancing around as though slightly overwhelmed and Hermione smiled reassuringly at her. 

“Hello Draco.”

“Hermione. Thank you for suggesting this,” Draco smiled. “These must be your parents?”

Hermione introduced her parents, taking the opportunity to rest her hand on Bellatrix’s back and rub soothing circles as her parents shook Draco’s hand. 

“Hermione’s told us a lot about you,” Hermione’s mother smiled. Draco’s eyes flicked nervously to Hermione, but he smiled. “No need to be worried.”

“Well…” he chuckled and then stepped back. “I can show you to where you’ll be staying, if you like? I just showed-”

“HERMIONE!” 

The thundering of feet on the staircase made the group swivel in time to see Ginny flying down the stairs, followed by Harry, Ron and George. Ginny launched herself at Hermione, who had to move quickly to catch her friend in a hug, bracing herself so that she wasn’t knocked flying. 

“Ginny! Hi.”

“I’ve missed you,” she squeezed harder until Hermione had to pat her to release. 

“I missed you too,” Hermione smiled, and Ginny hugged her harder. “Gin… can’t… breathe…”

“Whoops, sorry.” She pulled back, grinning, her eyes a little watery. “I’m just… I’m so glad we’re doing this.”

“Me too.” Hermione smiled, before her eyes flicked to Harry, Ron and George. “Hey guys.”

“Hey ‘Mione.” She was engulfed in hugs from all three of them separately as Harry spoke. “We’ve not been here long. Draco just showed us to our rooms.”

“They’re huge,” George supplied, grinning at Draco. “Seriously, I could fit one of Charlie’s dragons in mine.”

“But you’re not going to, are you George?” Mrs Weasley’s voice came from behind them and Hermione saw her descending the last few steps with Mr Weasley, Percy, Charlie, Bill and Fleur. 

“Nope, no dragons,” George promised. Hermione eyed him suspiciously and she saw Narcissa’s eyes narrow as well. Ron elbowed him.

“While I am happy to host-” Narcissa began. Mrs Weasley interrupted her and Hermione saw Bellatrix restrain a snort and smirk. 

“-And we are very grateful to you for that, Narcissa, and George will therefore not be doing anything dangerous under your roof.”

“I mean-”

“George Weasley, do remember who you’re dealing with,” Bellatrix hummed, her voice low. Hermione bit her lip reflexively, but George’s eyes sparkled. 

“You got it, Professor.”

Still, as the conversation moved on, Hermione watched George incline his head to Bellatrix, who returned the gesture. It was small, but Hermione felt the weight of that acknowledgement. She brushed her finger against Bellatrix’s hand softly as she listened to Narcissa inform them of the plan for their stay. 

“Draco will show you to your rooms. We thought we would have a light dinner this evening, as tomorrow is likely to be filling.” Narcissa looked at Molly Weasley. “Molly has kindly offered to help in the kitchen, as has Andy.”

“I can offer my services,” Hermione’s dad chimed in. “If you need any help.”

Narcissa momentarily hesitated and then smiled. 

“Thank you, Mr Granger. How gracious of you.”

“The more the merrier,” Charlie grinned, throwing his arm around his mother. “Right mum?”

“Of course.” Hermione smiled at Mrs Weasley, knowing she usually preferred the kitchen to herself. 

“Well, I’ll show you upstairs,” Draco smiled. “We won’t be eating for another few hours, but apparently that gives us time to engage in a Christmas tradition?”

Hermione eyed the Weasley’s and Harry who were all smirking. 

“Do you know what the tradition is, Draco?” She asked. 

“I have not yet been informed,” he raised an eyebrow. “But I am getting the sense that I am going to regret agreeing to it.”

“Not if you pick the right side,” Bellatrix hummed. Draco’s eyes widened. 

“They’re talking about a snowball fight,” Hermione chuckled. 

“Well, I’m sure you’ll all have fun with that,” Narcissa mused, giving them a ‘shoo’ gesture. “Upstairs, Draco, before Andy arrives and my entrance hall gets crowded.”

Draco chuckled and gestured for Hermione, Bellatrix and Hermione’s parents to follow him. 

“See you in a bit!” Ginny called after them. “Don’t forget your gloves.”

“And your aim!” Harry added. 

Hermione chuckled and glanced at Bellatrix, who was smirking. 

“Are we keeping to tradition, or do you want to be on the winning side?”

Bellatrix raised her eyebrow. 

“Are you asking me to be on your team so you have a chance of winning?”

“I’m asking if you want to join our team so that you don’t lose to me again,” Hermione replied cheekily. 

“Oh, it’s on, darling,” Bellatrix murmured into her ear as she leaned into her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. 

Draco cleared his throat. 

“Okay, so we put you in here, Mr and Mrs Granger,” he directed them to a door. “Close to the stairs; the house is a little confusing so we thought you’d appreciate the ease.”

“Thank you Draco, how thoughtful,” Hermione’s mum smiled at him and he shifted, giving her a small, embarrassed smile. 

“That’s alright. I’ll let you get settled.”

Hermione gave her parents a hug and promised to meet them downstairs before the snowball fight, before they went inside the room. 

“They’ll be fine,” Bellatrix murmured. 

“Aunt Bella, mum thought that you and Hermione… uh, that you would like to stay in the room that was yours when you were here a few years ago?”

“Thank you, Draco,” Bellatrix smirked, pulling Hermione close. “I know the way.”

Draco blushed and nodded before heading towards the stairs quickly. Bellatrix’s cackle followed him, until Hermione elbowed her. 

“Don’t tease him.” Then she hesitated. “Or at least give me a chance.”

“That’s my lynx,” Bellatrix hummed. “Come on, I’ll show you our room.”

Bellatrix led her through the corridors and up another flight of stairs, before opening a door in a quieter part of the house. Hermione smiled as she stepped into what was undoubtedly Bellatrix’s room; it reminded her of her rooms at Hogwarts, but much more lavish and stylish. She imagined this was Narcissa’s version of decorating for Bellatrix. 

“I like it.” Her eyes fell to the bed, which was rather large and fitted with black sheets. “A lot.”

“No one else is near this room,” Bellatrix murmured, sliding her arms around Hermione’s waist and letting her breath tickle Hermione’s ear. “Narcissa knows that I like my privacy.”

“Can’t imagine what you’re telling me that for,” Hermione chuckled, leaning back into her. 

“Oh , of course not. You’re completely innocent.” Bellatrix’s teeth grazed Hermione’s earlobe, making her inhale and arch her neck, allowing Bellatrix better access to her. 

“Mhmm… so… innocent.” Bellatrix’s lips moved down Hermione’s neck, kissing her languidly as her fingers slowly began to unbutton her jeans. “Bella… they’re waiting on us.”

“Mmmm, they can wait a little longer.”

Hermione bit her lip as Bellatrix’s hand slipped under the waistband. 

“Do you really want someone coming to hurry us up and finding- oh!”

Bellatrix’s chuckle resonated in her ear as she gently teased her; Hermione’s eyes fluttering closed under her touch. 

“I’d hex them.”

“Mmm… well… I…”

“You’re perfect, my lynx.” Hermione’s response didn’t make much sense; more of a moaning hum as her hips pressed into Bellatrix’s hand. “I love you.”

“I love… you… too.”

***

When they both appeared downstairs a little later, Hermione trying to avoid looking sheepish as she wrapped a scarf around her neck and chin, they found Ginny smirking at the bottom of the stairs, arms folded. 

“I was going to ask what kept you so long but I’m going to assume I don’t want to know?” She said, and Hermione glanced at Bellatrix, blushing lightly. 

“That depends, Miss Weasley.” Bellatrix smirked, wrapping her arm around Hermione. “If you want the details, I can-”

“Nope, no, thank you.” Ginny said, covering her ears. “God I think I preferred it when I was scared of you.”

“You’re still scared of me,” Bellatrix’s smirk widened. “With good reason.”

Hermione laughed as Ginny shifted on her feet and looked at her friend for help. 

“Come on, let’s go and win this.” She said to Ginny, slipping out of Bellatrix’s hold. “You know, like we always do.”

“You have never once,” Bellatrix hummed, her eyes mischievous, “beaten me in a snowball fight.”

“You’ve not beaten me either,” Hermione teased. 

“I’m feeling lucky,” Bellatrix murmured. 

“Alright, are we going to do this or are you two going to spend the whole holiday flirting?” Bellatrix and Hermione grinned at each other, as though considering Ginny’s question seriously. “Oh gross. Come on.”

Bellatrix’s cackle echoed long after they left the entrance hall. 

***  
Hermione skidded to a stop as the snowball hit her shoulder. 

“I thought you had better aim than tha-” The next one hit her in the face and she spluttered, hearing Bellatrix’s cackle from behind the topiary. 

“Still got a lot to learn, Granger!”

Hermione wiped her face and tore after her, determined. She rounded the topiary and found the space that Bellatrix had occupied to be empty. 

“Damn.”

“Not quick enough!” Bellatrix’s voice sang out teasingly. Hermione stopped, taking a breath and concentrating. This time, she would win. The slightest crunch of snow to her left had her spinning and throwing the snowball in her hand. It shattered against Bellatrix’s head and Hermione let out a cheer of victory. Bellatrix shook out her hair and charged. 

“No, don’t-” Hermione squealed before they both went tumbling in the snow, laughing. Bellatrix ended up on her back and Hermione grinned down at her victoriously. “I do believe I won that round.”

“It’s not over yet,” Bellatrix grinned. 

“Neither of us will ever win, you know?” Hermione laughed. 

“Do you really think beating you in a snowball fight is my goal?” Bellatrix hummed. “I just enjoy seeing you happy.”

Hermione leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips. 

“Nice try,” she hummed. Bellatrix laughed and shook her head. 

“It wasn’t a lie.”

“I know. But you still want to win.”

“I always want to win.”

“I know, and so do I.”

“I suppose that’s why we are so well matched.” Bellatrix chuckled. 

“That and I was just irritatingly persistent in loving you.”

Bellatrix smiled up at her and pulled her down for another kiss. 

“Never stop.” The slightest questioning lilt at the end, almost pleading, caught Hermione’s attention. She brushed her nose against Bellatrix’s, feeling the hot breath from her mouth against her chilled skin. 

“Never,” she murmured. 

Their kisses were soft, comforting, reassuring; Hermione felt Bellatrix smiling into each one as she pressed into her. 

A burst of snow showered down on them and Hermione rolled off of Bellatrix as they both looked up and around. Laughter came from their left and they saw Draco and Ginny with their wands out. 

“Quit making out and get back to the fight!” Ginny called. They vanished before either woman could retaliate and Bellatrix helped a chuckling Hermione up from the floor. 

“Looks like we’re not the only two mixing enemy lines,” Bellatrix hummed. Ginny was on Hermione’s team; Draco on Bellatrix’s. 

“I’ll take Draco, you take Ginny?”

“Naturally,” Bellatrix chuckled and they turned to run after their respective targets. 

***

“Another snowball fight?”

Andy’s amusement was clear as they tumbled into the hall, laughing and still arguing about who had won. She was standing with Narcissa, who was holding Teddy. Ted was just returning from putting their bags in their room. 

“Andy!” Came the chorus of voices, followed by similar shouts for the other two newcomers. They swarmed the Tonks family; Hermione was one of the first to hug Andy before cooing over Teddy, who had grown so much that she was almost taken aback.

“Mum, dad, this is Andy, her husband Ted and this is Teddy.”

“It is so nice to finally meet you,” Andy smiled, welcoming Hermione’s parents with open arms. “You raised an incredible young woman.”

“Thank you,” Hermione’s mum was a little teary when she pulled away. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Andy,” Bellatrix appeared and Andy grabbed her, pulling her into a hug. “Merlin, are you trying to kill me?”

“No more than usual.”

When Bellatrix was released from Andy’s crushing hug and joined Hermione, Teddy shrieked joyfully. 

“Auntie Bells!” Bellatrix winced a little and her cheeks reddened, but she grinned at him. 

“Hello, little one.” Hermione watched as Teddy’s hair changed slightly, mimicking Bellatrix’s dark curls. He already looked so much like Andy that it was hardly a stretch. “You’ve grown.”

“Am big now.”

“Yes, you are.”

Hermione leaned into Bellatrix with a smile as the older woman ruffled his hair lightly. He chuckled and buried his face into Narcissa’s neck, who smiled at Bellatrix gently and then pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

“Dinner is almost ready,” she announced to the group, before handing Teddy back to Andy. “Dry off before you come through; I don’t want snow melting into my floors.”

Bellatrix chuckled and shook her head at her sister, before they followed. 

Narcissa’s ‘light’ Christmas Eve dinner was still relatively large, but with the Weasley family there, it seemed to have been a clever, preemptive move. Hermione couldn’t imagine that Narcissa had ever hosted an event quite so boisterous before and she was well aware that Bellatrix was enjoying her sister’s new expression as she watched George and Ron fighting over the last piece of chicken while their mother hissed at them to behave. Every time Narcissa opened her mouth, as though about to say something about the situation, either Mr Weasley, Draco or Harry would distract her. Eventually, Ron lost the fight; George victoriously stuffed the chicken in his mouth and tried not to choke on it as he grinned at Ron. 

“Well, I think I may retire for the evening,” Narcissa said, rising stiffly from her chair the moment the food was cleared. 

“Cissy,” Andy began, starting to stand, but Narcissa waved her down. 

“Don’t worry, I’m just a little tired from the excitement of the day. I’ll see you all in the morning. Goodnight.”

She leaned over, planting a kiss on Draco’s head and then elegantly walked to the door and vanished. The silence hung in the air until Molly Weasley turned and frowned at her sons. 

“Tomorrow, boys, you are on clean up duty.”

“But mum-”

“You heard me, Ronald!”

“Really, Mrs Weasley,” Draco said. “I don’t believe that’s necessary. My mother is just tired. It’s quite the change, but I’m sure she’ll get used to it.”

Hermione saw Bellatrix and Andy exchanging looks and, when the group began to split in different directions, Bellatrix squeezed Hermione’s hand before leaving her side and following Andy out of the room. Hermione watched them go with a small smile. 

Although the war had done damage, the Black sister’s relationship had grown strong again. Hermione imagined that they were bonded through the traumas of their childhoods, and the trauma of war only served to remind them of that bond. Bellatrix didn’t talk about her childhood much, but what she had shared with Hermione had been fleeting moments of happiness amongst darkness, and all those happy memories revolved around her sisters. 

She tore herself from her thoughts and glanced at her parents, who were hovering. 

“Hey,” she smiled and padded over to them. “Have you had a good evening?”

“Your friends are boisterous,” Hermione’s mum laughed. “But very entertaining.”

“That they are,” Hermione chuckled. 

“I’m afraid not everyone thought so,” Hermione’s father added. “It must be a little overwhelming, having so many people in your house, if she’s not used to it.”

“I think there’s a little more to it than that,” Hermione murmured, glancing at the door that Bellatrix and Andy had followed Narcissa through. “But hopefully things will be easier tomorrow.”

“I’m sure it will be a lovely Christmas,” he replied. Hermione’s mum smiled. 

“Yes, but right now I think I need to get in that impressive bed in our room, or else I’ll be falling asleep on Narcissa’s floor.”

Hermione laughed and wished her parents goodnight, giving them both a kiss before they left. She looked around for a moment and then went to join the group following Draco, with offers of more drinks by a fire enticing them. Hermione settled happily in a chair near the fire, watching her friends choosing drinks from a cabinet. Draco seemed to have grown more at ease with them all, laughing with George and asking Charlie about his work with dragons. 

The conversation drifted from topic to topic; Ginny told them about training with the Holyhead Harpies, Harry about his work in the Auror department. Draco told them about starting at the Ministry and how Harry had made sure that no one held a grudge against him. Hermione smiled, seeing the mutual respect and friendship between them. Her eyes slid to Ron and she was relieved to see that he didn’t seem jealous. 

“How about you Ron?”

He glanced at her and smiled. 

“Actually, I’m handing in my notice after Christmas,” he admitted. Some of the others looked at him in surprise, but Harry and George seemed to know what was going on. “I’m actually going to work with George in the shop.”

“Really? But I thought…” Ginny said and then trailed off. Ron shrugged. 

“I’m tired of it, Gin. It does more harm than good and I’m just not cut out for it. I was happy when I was helping George out and I think it’ll be good for me.”

“Of course he doesn’t get a fifty-fifty split,” George winked, nudging his brother. “Since I’m the brains.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ron rolled his eyes, shoving his brother back. “Whatever.”

Hermione chuckled and took a sip of her drink. There was something about the warmth of the fire, the laughter of her friends and the smell of pine from the nearby Christmas tree that made her close her eyes and breathe in deeply. 

To think that a few years ago, this had not been possible. A few years ago, they would have been cursed for walking into this house. A few years ago, they had been trapped here, unsure of whether they were about to come face to face with Voldemort, and unsure of Bellatrix and whether they would succeed in their mission. 

Hermione opened her eyes. How things had changed. 

It was an hour later, when Hermione’s eyes were beginning to droop and the conversation had turned to discussing Christmas day, that Bellatrix returned. Hermione noticed her first, of course, and sat up a little as she watched her slip into the room. Bellatrix’s eyes found her immediately and she leaned against the wall, smiling. Hermione smiled and bit her lip, then finished the rest of her drink in one go. 

“I think it’s my time to turn in,” she announced to the group. 

“Now? It’s barely…” Ginny glanced at the clock. “Okay, it’s late, but it’s the holidays.”

“I’m exhausted,” Hermione said, which wasn’t untrue. She did feel tired, even if the sight of Bellatrix had roused her from the doze she had been slipping into. 

  
“Alright, grandma, see you tomorrow then,” Ginny teased. Harry chuckled and released Ginny from their current cuddling position so that she could hug Hermione. “Don’t let your girlfriend keep you up too late.”

“Oh, I will,” Bellatrix cackled and Ginny blushed bright red, her head whipping around to look at Bellatrix incredulously. Everyone burst into laughter, including Hermione. 

“Damn it,” Ginny turned around and shoved Hermione gently. “You have got to warn me when she’s sneaking around like that.”

“Nope,” Hermione grinned, hugging Ginny and then heading towards Bellatrix, who was still snickering with a smirk on her face. “You’d better learn to be more aware of your surroundings.”

“Don’t worry Weasley,” Bellatrix smirked, throwing her arm around Hermione’s shoulders. “It took her a while to work out when I was ‘sneaking’ too.”

Hermione chuckled and reached up to kiss Bellatrix's cheek, only for the woman to turn her head and capture her lips instead. 

“Oh god, aunt Bella, can you not,” Draco groaned. “I mean I’m happy for you both but still… weird.”

Hermione smirked at him. 

“Get used to it Draco.”

“Couldn’t have put it better myself,” Bellatrix murmured, squeezing Hermione’s shoulders. With that, the pair said their goodnights again, and headed out. “Have you been having a good evening?”

“Yes, have you?”

“Surprisingly, yes. Although I’m still offended at the idea of sharing my holidays with my students.”

“Former students,” Hermione nudged her, chuckling. “And you’re dating one of them.”

“Well, when you put it that way,” Bellatrix grinned, and suddenly Hermione was pressed against a wall. She gasped and then chuckled, shaking her head.

“Bella, they could come out at any minute.”

“Scandalous. Do you think one of them would faint?” Bellatrix chuckled, pressing a kiss to Hermione’s jaw that made her sigh. She kissed a trail down Hermione’s neck until a groan vibrated up her throat. “Mmm, I love the sounds you make.”

“So take me somewhere where you’re the only one that can hear them.”

Bellatrix withdrew and, with a devilish smirk, she took Hermione’s hand and pulled her towards the door. Hermione was reminded of that New Year’s party, the last time she had been in this house, and her pace quickened to keep up with Bellatrix. She wasn’t sure where they were going, but she vaguely recognised the corridor and then, as Bellatrix opened the door to their left, she realised. 

The room was as she remembered it, with a fire dwindling in the grate and books lining the wall. She trailed her fingers over them as she had done two years before and then turned to look at Bellatrix, whose eyes were burning a slow, hot trail over her. 

“Her coming was my hope each day, her parting was my pain…” Hermione parroted those words, the ones that Bellatrix had used to finally tell her how she felt. “Can you believe two years have gone by?”

“It seems like a lifetime, and a split second, all at once,” Bellatrix hummed, stepping closer. 

“I have loved every moment,” Hermione murmured. “I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

“I knew then, you know?” Bellatrix pretended to peruse the shelves. “A part of me knew that I loved you then. That you were different. The only one I wanted.”

“Is that why you couldn’t resist kissing me?”

Bellatrix chuckled, her tone throaty, and then she looked up from under dark lashes and Hermione’s heart stuttered. 

“Perhaps.”

“What would you have done if there’d been nothing holding us back?” Hermione asked, her eyes lidded as she stepped closer; wanting. 

“Do you want me to show you?”

“Yes.”

Bellatrix surged forward and Hermione’s breath was knocked from her as she was pressed against the bookshelf, Bellatrix’s lips claiming hers like fire devours parchment. She moaned into her and tangled her fingers in Bellatrix’s hair to scratch her scalp. Bellatrix’s hips jerked into her and Hermione gasped, allowing Bellatrix’s tongue access to curl into her mouth. Hermione’s brain was barely functioning, but memories of a similar position in the Restricted section flicked through her mind and she felt a chuckle in her mouth. It took her a few seconds to realise that Bellatrix was chuckling too; when the woman pulled back a little to stare into her eyes. 

“Are you aware you always drop your barriers when we kiss? It makes the experience quite… heady.” Bellatrix dived back in before Hermione had a chance to respond, kissing her so hard that Hermione’s toes curled. “I remember too… so many close calls. So many times when I wanted nothing more than to take you…”

Hermione gasped, grinding into Bellatrix’s thigh as it slipped between her legs. 

“I wanted you too.”

“Oh I know,” Bellatrix chuckled against her and then her tongue was licking the line of Hermione’s throat and leaving marks that would fade quickly with her teeth. “I could feel it. You made it so difficult to resist.”

“We don’t have to anymore,” Hermione moaned, scratching her fingers against Bellatrix’s scalp again until Bellatrix’s hands grabbed her hips and pulled her firmly against her thigh, making Hermione gasp again.

“You’re right, little lynx. We don’t.” Bellatrix’s movements stilled and she locked eyes with Hermione, the softness in them making Hermione’s heart melt. “Would… I would like to share everything with you. Hold nothing back, like you do. If you like.”

Hermione leaned in and placed a slow, languid kiss to Bellatrix’s lips. 

“Yes. I would love that.”

Bellatrix claimed her lips again, softly, slowly and as her fingers slipped under Hermione’s waistband, the younger witch gasped. 

Flickers of Bellatrix’s thoughts danced at the edge of her mind, like a weak flame in need of oxygen. She opened her mind to her, encouraging her, and Bellatrix’s fingers grazed her wetness as the thoughts grew stronger. She rolled her head back, lips parted with heavy breaths as she closed her eyes and invited her in. 

_Love… so warm… all mine… beautiful…_

Bellatrix’s mind was scattered, shattered, as though the pieces that Hermione got were fragments of a mirror or pieces of a puzzle, yet to be put together. She greedily collected the slivers that Bellatrix allowed her as fingers curled and drew her closer. She clung to her, a tear escaping from her closed eyes and rolling down her cheek as she smiled, realising that Bellatrix was still protecting her, in case she lost control and found thoughts and memories from the Bellatrix she hadn’t really known.

_Hermione smiling at her coyly, wearing a mask at the winter ball._

_The way Hermione’s nose wrinkled when she frowned down at her work._

_The pride on Hermione’s face as she transformed back from her lynx form the first time._

_How wild and free she looked when she threw a snowball at Bellatrix, laughing._

_The moment that Hermione had told her that she loved Bellatrix._

Hermione’s eyes flew open as Bellatrix’s fingers pushed her over the edge and she cried out, calling Bellatrix’s name over and over as she clung to her; her rock in the storm. Bellatrix’s mind withdrew, but Hermione could still feel the warmth in the way Bellatrix treasured these memories lingering as she quivered in the wake of her orgasm. 

Bellatrix kissed her, gently. 

“I love you, Hermione.”

"I love you, Bellatrix."

  
***

Hermione woke with her face buried in Bellatrix’s neck, strands of her hair tickling her nose and making it wrinkle. She hummed happily and buried further into her, shifting the leg tangled with Bellatrix's in the process. 

“Mmph,” Bellatrix inhaled and her lips brushed Hermione’s temple. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” Hermione whispered, eyes still closed. She pressed a kiss to Bellatrix’s neck. It’s Christmas.”

“It is,” Bellatrix replied, running her fingers down Hermione’s arm. “Happy Christmas, my darling.”

“Mmm, I love you.”

Bellatrix chuckled sleepily and kissed her head again. 

“I love you too, my little lynx.”

When they eventually managed to untangle themselves from each other and the bedding, Hermione slipped on some underwear and pyjamas before turning in time to see Bellatrix pulling on a familiar jumper. 

“Is that what I think it is?” She hummed, slipping her arms around Bellatrix’s waist as soon as the woman had freed her hair from the neck of the jumper. 

“That depends on what you think it is,” Bellatrix replied roughly, leaning into Hermione. 

“I think it’s the jumper that Mrs Weasley knitted for you.”

“It’s warm,” Bellatrix replied with a slight defensiveness in her voice. 

“It suits you.”

“Well, of course it does. I can make anything look good,” Bellatrix pursed her lips and Hermione smiled, knowing that she was trying to hide one too. So, instead of teasing her further, Hermione simply slipped her hand into Bellatrix’s and squeezed, gently. 

“Let’s go downstairs; I’m starving.”

“I could have helped with that before I got dressed,” Bellatrix teased. 

“I’m sure you could,” Hermione chuckled, leaning her head into her shoulder. “But for once, I need real food.”

“Mmm,” Bellatrix hummed, kissing her head. “Alright then, my starving little lynx. Let’s go and face the chaos.”

“I don’t know if it will be chaos…” Hermione trailed off, memories of previous Christmas’ with the Weasleys surfacing. “Okay… maybe a little.”

Bellatrix laughed. 

“We shall see. I, for one, am surprised that we didn’t find fireworks under our pillow.”

“George would never pull the same prank twice. Boring.” Hermione laughed. “And I’m sure Narcissa would flay him alive.”

“Perhaps,” Bellatrix murmured. 

“Is she okay? You went after her, last night. I didn’t get a chance to ask how that went.”

“Well, we were otherwise engaged,” Bellatrix smirked, but then her smile slipped a little into a soft sadness that Hermione only saw her show when her sisters were involved. “She is still getting used to… this. No matter his faults, she loved Lucius, and with him in Azkaban while she remains free with Draco… Christmas is especially difficult I believe. Seeing such love, such openness from the Weasleys, from Andy… it is so different from our childhoods. It’s so different from how we were brought up.”

“I’m sorry for that.”

“No need to be sorry,” Bellatrix hummed. “You are not the cause.”

“No, but… I’m still sorry.”

“You’re too good.” Bellatrix replied. “Narcissa will be fine. It will do her some good to have a little joy in her life that isn’t based on her son.”

“He’s the reason that she saved Harry,” Hermione murmured. “So… in a way, a mother’s love saved Harry twice.”

Bellatrix blinked at her and then let out a breathy chuckle. 

“Just when I think I can’t be any more in love with you, you say something so clever, do something so sweet, that I find myself loving you even more.”

Hermione blushed and didn’t stop until they had walked downstairs for breakfast. 

***

Watching Bellatrix discover that there was, in fact, a pile of presents for her, was something that broke Hermione’s heart in the best way. Amongst the chaos of everyone else opening gifts, Bellatrix had swallowed thickly, her fingers twitching nervously as she reached for the first one having confirmed they actually were for her. 

“That’s from me, Bella,” Narcissa said from the seat she was sitting in, looking every bit a queen even in green satin pyjamas and a black robe, with her hair less than perfect for the first time in Hermione knowing her. “I hope you like it.”

There was a slight hint of nervousness from the youngest Black sister, something Hermione only picked up on because she was so used to Bellatrix’s own micro-expressions. Narcissa watched carefully as Bellatrix unwrapped the present slowly and held her breath as it was unveiled. 

“Cissy…” 

“If you don’t like it-”

“I…” Bellatrix lifted the locket from the box and stroked her thumb around the oval before unlocking it. Hermione watched while Bellatrix swallowed and tried to hold onto her rapidly dissolving mask, as tears welled in her eyes, making it practically impossible. Hermione shifted closer, looking at the locket. “It’s beautiful, Cissy.”

Inside the locket were two pictures; one of Bellatrix with her sisters when they were young which looked as though it had been taken at a party. They were glamorous and caught in laughter with their arms wrapped around each other. On the other side, Hermione recognised the picture that Charlie had taken of them last Christmas, cuddling by the fire. They had sent copies to Narcissa, Andy and Hermione’s parents to reassure them that they were safe and well.   
“It’s just something I found in Diagon Alley,” Narcissa waved it away as though it were nothing, but anyone watching the exchange could feel the weight of the exchange. Hermione’s heart ached and she gently stroked Bellatrix’s back, comfortingly. 

“You’ve always had exquisite taste,” Bellatrix hummed. “Thank you.”

She unclasped it and reached around her neck, fastening it and letting it hang to her chest. Andy reached across and took Narcissa’s hand, giving it a squeeze. She had been watching the whole exchange with a soft smile on her face. Hermione let the three have their moment and reached for another present, handing it to her parents. 

“Here you go, Ginny,” Harry said, sliding a small present over to her. She grinned and kissed his cheek before opening it and staring. 

“It’s a key.”

“Yes,” Harry said. Hermione, Mrs Weasley and a few of the other Weasleys closest to the couple suddenly became very interested in the exchange. “It’s a key to my place… our place… if you want it to be.”

Hermione’s eyes flicked to Ron, but he didn’t seem surprised. It seemed he and Harry had been having a lot of conversations about big changes, if last night and the current revelation was anything to go by. 

Ginny’s mouth hovered open as she stared between Harry and the key for a moment and then she flung herself onto him, sending them both crashing to the floor. 

“You idiot!”

“Is that a yes?”

“Of course it’s a yes!”

Hermione laughed and gave them a little round of applause as everyone congratulated them. 

“Nice job Ginny,” George said. “And don’t say I never did anything for you.”

“What?” Ginny asked. 

“Well, someone had to give Ron a place to live so he didn’t have to listen to you two being a happy couple all the time.”

Ginny threw a cushion at him while Ron gave an indignant ‘hey!’ Narcissa’s blood pressure rose; Bellatrix cackled. Hermione smiled. Her friends were happy and so was she. 

The opening of presents was nearing its end when Teddy, having managed to climb onto a chair without anyone noticing, jumped off of it with a screeching ‘wheeeeeeeeee’to dive into the discarded wrapping paper. Bellatrix, faster than even Hermione had ever seen her move, threw herself forward and he landed on her stomach, winding her. 

“Again!” Teddy crowed as Andy hurried forward, lifting him from Bellatrix who was coughing and rubbing her stomach. 

“Teddy Lupin, you’ll be the death of me!” Andy scolded half-heartedly. “And your Aunt Bella by the looks of it.”

“Sorry Aunt Bells,” Teddy pouted. Bellatrix waved the apology away from the floor and Hermione chuckled as she helped pull her into a seating position. 

“Just you wait,” Bellatrix muttered in the direction of Teddy, once he was set down and toddled over to her with outstretched arms. “When you’re older and less breakable, I’ll get you back.”

Hermione laughed as the little boy chortled and threw his arms around her, burying his snotty face in her hair. Bellatrix looked half pleased and half disgusted and soon removed him by tickling his round little stomach where it peeked out from under his pyjama top. When he’d toddled over to Draco, who was busy trying to stop the toy broomstick that he’d bought him from zooming around the room a few inches from the floor, Hermione settled against Bellatrix and wrapped her arms around her, pressing a kiss to her temple. 

“You are adorable,” she murmured.

“I am no such thing,” Bellatrix huffed in mock indignation. 

“You just threw yourself into present paper to save him and allowed him to snot in your hair.”

Bellatrix shuddered and flicked her wand at her hair, making sure there wasn’t really any snot in the curls. 

“I am not adorable,” she muttered. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone,” Hermione chuckled softly into her ear, before hooking a piece of wrapping paper that was attached to Bellatrix’s hair at the back by sticky tape off and away from them. 

“You had better not,” Bellatrix smirked, before pressing a kiss to her lips. “Or you’ll never sleep again.”

“Promises, promises,” Hermione chuckled and then unwrapped herself from Bellatrix to reach for another present for her. “This one is from me.”

Bellatrix took the present and opened it carefully. Inside was an intricate hair comb made of silver; the prongs were sharp enough to be used as a weapon and the head was of a wolf framed by Celtic knots. She trailed her fingers over the design reverently and then looked at Hermione. 

“It’s exquisite.” 

“You like it? I thought because the wolf really started all of this and you always like to have a hidden weapon on you so-”

“I love it,” Bellatrix pulled her in for a kiss that made Hermione’s heart flutter. “Thank you, my little lynx.”

“You two are disgustingly sweet; I hope you know that,” Narcissa’s voice broke through their moment and they both looked over to find her and Andy grinning at them teasingly. 

“All this sweetness before breakfast, really,” Andy added. “And when Bellatrix used to be so grumpy before her morning coffee.”

“I can still be grumpy, if you’d prefer,” Bellatrix smirked. “I have no qualms about hexing either of you, Christmas day or not.”

“Oh look, how sweet,” Andy chuckled. “She’s even giving warnings now, instead of just hexing us outright.”

“What an excellent influence Miss Granger is,” Narcissa added. Everyone, including Hermione’s parents, chuckled as Hermione blushed and hid her face in Bellatrix’s hair. 

“If it wouldn’t start an all out duel, I’d help you hex them,” she muttered into Bellatrix’s ear, who chuckled. 

“Still tempted.”

***

“I have something extra for you,” Bellatrix hummed as they re-entered their room to change for dinner, which Narcissa had insisted that they make some effort for.   
“Bella, you didn’t have to-”

“I know,” she murmured, slipping her arms around Hermione’s waist and pulling her close. “I wanted to. This isn’t something I wanted to share with anyone else.”

She leaned in, pressing a kiss to Hermione’s lips and then took her hand and led her to the bed, gesturing for her to sit down. 

“Is this the kind of present that’s going to make us late for dinner?” Hermione joked, because she could feel Bellatrix’s nervousness. Bellatrix laughed lightly and shook her head. 

“No, darling. It is not that kind of gift. That’s for later.”

Hermione chuckled and watched as Bellatrix reached into her bag and withdrew a small, carefully wrapped present. It was about the size of a book, but thinner, and when Bellatrix hesitantly passed it over, it felt lighter than one too. Bellatrix hovered as Hermione unwrapped it. 

“Oh… Bella…”

“It’s no good, I’m out of practice, I should have-”

“It’s beautiful.”

“Oh. I… well, I-”

“Did you draw this?”

Hermione’s fingers traced over the delicate lines that formed her sleeping face; peaceful and with a small smile on her lips. As she did, her charcoal eyes fluttered open and stared sleepily at her, tendrils of hair falling over her face until charcoal-her seemed to laugh and push them out of her face. 

“Yes, I did,” Bellatrix hummed. 

“I’m not this beautiful.”

“Yes you are.” Bellatrix kneeled down in front of her and cupped her face with one hand. “Especially to me.”

Hermione felt tears welling in her eyes and she placed the framed drawing to the side carefully before leaning into the hand on her cheek and kissing it. Bellatrix brushed her thumb over her cheek and then leaned up to kiss Hermione softly. 

“It’s beautiful. I love it, thank you.”

“You’re welcome, my love.”

“I didn’t know you could draw.”

“I wanted you to be surprised. One of the many skills that we were expected to learn as pureblood women, although they never liked my preference for materials.” Bellatrix tucked a stray strand of hair away from Hermione’s face and behind her ear. “It made my fingers dirty.”

“I would love to watch you draw. I don’t care if your fingers get dirty,” Hermione chuckled, pressing another kiss to Bellatrix’s hand and then her wrist. 

“I wanted you to know that waking up next to you is… I’m so thankful,” Bellatrix said, her voice thick and eyes welling. “For everything. I don’t… I don’t know how I deserve it but-”

Hermione kissed her. 

***  
Hermione tangled her fingers in Bellatrix’s and smiled as they walked downstairs. 

“You look beautiful.”

Bellatrix grinned. She was dressed in a black velvet dress and Narcissa’s gift lay around her neck, while Hermione’s gift kept half of her wild curls pinned back. Hermione loved the way it exposed her neck and had already spent a few stolen moments kissing it with Bellatrix pressed against the door to their room. 

“As do you,” she replied as her eyes trailed over the simple red dress that Hermione had chosen to wear. “Even in Gryffindor red.”

“You like when I wear red.”

“I like you regardless of your clothing,” Bellatrix grinned. “But yes… it does suit you. Very much so.”

It turned out, as they arrived for dinner, that all three Black sisters had coordinated, and Hermione was momentarily distracted by the beauty of them all together, dressed in fitted black dresses with their heads held high. Whatever the world held in store for the future, Hermione doubted if it were ready for the Black sisters, united. 

“Hermione, you look beautiful,” her mum embraced her, distracting her from her thoughts. 

“Thanks mum, you look so pretty,” Hermione grinned. It had been so long since she’d seen her parents dressed up and as she looked between them, her heart ached with love. “I love you both so much. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” They both hugged her tight and then Hermione felt her mum loosen her grip. 

“Bellatrix, come here?” Bellatrix was standing back, seemingly awkward and out of place as she waited for Hermione to be released. With Hermione’s mother beckoning her close, she stepped forward, nervously and was slowly, gently, brought into the embrace. Hermione’s eyes welled again at the expression of surprise on Bellatrix’s face. “You are part of the family, Bellatrix. I want you to remember that.”

When they released them both, Hermione's mother pulled her father off towards the table, allowing them a moment. Bellatrix’s hand was shaking when Hermione pulled it into hers. 

“Are you alright?”

“I will be,” she murmured, staring at a spot on the wall as she swallowed thickly and closed her eyes. “I just need a moment.”

Hermione held onto her hand, until Bellatrix opened her eyes and gave her a watery smile. 

“Your family are… I feel…”

“I know,” Hermione hummed, soothing her. “I know.”

***

The fire was dying and Hermione was full and content. She was cuddled up to Bellatrix on the sofa, her head resting on her shoulder, as she played with her fingers, watching with amusement as Draco played the piano and Ginny, Mrs Weasley, Harry, George, Fleur, Ted and Andy all sang Christmas songs. 

Narcissa was smiling fondly at her son from her seat, talking to Hermione’s father, with whom she seemed to have struck up an odd bond with while they had been cooking in the kitchen. He seemed to understand her humour and the quiet strength of her and Hermione’s surprise had quickly been overtaken by joy. Narcissa had relaxed more and more as the day had gone on. Hermione’s mum was busy telling Mr Weasley all about dentistry, much to his fascination. Bill and Charlie were debating with Percy over the best course of action for the restructure of the Ministry of Magic, which was still under discussion. 

“I’m happy,” she murmured, glancing up at Bellatrix, who was watching their family and friends with a small smile on her lips. “Are you happy?”

“Every moment that I’m with you.” She shifted to look at Hermione and smiled. “But yes. I… it is strange but very happy to have so much…”

“Family?” Hermione gently suggested. Bellatrix blinked, looking around at the people surrounding her and then back to Hermione. 

“Family…” she mulled the word over. Hermione stroked her thumb over Bellatrix’s knuckle and didn’t interrupt her thoughts. “Don’t tell the Weasleys, but yes. They are your family and you and my sisters and their families are mine so by extension…”

“You know, you could just admit that you like them really.”

“Never,” Bellatrix chuckled, squeezing her hand. “That’s a step too far.”

“You do,” Hermione laughed, kissing her. “I know you do.”

“Perhaps a little,” Bellatrix hummed, noncommittally. “I couldn’t possibly say.”

“Adorable,” Hermione sang under her breath, earning her a nudge from Bellatrix’s elbow. “Hey!”

“I am not adorable.”

“But you are happy.”

“Yes, my darling little lynx, I am.”

“I love you.” Hermione hummed, nestling into Bellatrix’s embrace again. 

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Heathens. It's been a pleasure. <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Breaking Apart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25224865) by [beforeyouspeak](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beforeyouspeak/pseuds/beforeyouspeak)




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